Click any line to jump to that moment in the audio.
Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin in a moment.
The air in this space is shaking. You can feel waves emanating off of the banjo man. You hear
all of these memories shattering all around you. Kavin, Bonwyn, you've just docked at this memory
of Calder's where Bizard and... We've cut the engine and we've sidled right up. That's right,
where Bizard and Alydin are inside. There are horrors climbing up onto your platform
and all around this memory. Alydin, you look out and you see them. You see the two notes
that they have. You and Bizard are inside of this memory where there's still no real
acknowledgement from the Calder that's in here to you. What do you do?
I think I'm going to go over to the edge and say,
Bonwyn, maybe we need them all in here. I'm going to so very slowly and gently put my hand
through the barrier. I don't want to break it. Please, God, don't break.
It feels like you're reaching through marbles as your hand goes through it.
I like marbles. I think I would like that sensory experience. I'm thinking right now,
that sounds great. I'm like, well, that seems nice, kind of like cool and smooth.
It's like a small ball pit. For your hand. For your hand, yeah.
You extend your hand out. Bonwyn, you are next. We can do these kind of
at the same time. So yeah, Alydin reaches through and a hand out. You see horrors now.
They too see that the hand is coming out. It looks like they're moving quickly towards Alydin.
Alydin snaps fingers.
Oh, I was going to say, I assume Alydin's going for a high five.
So I reach up.
No. Now is not the time.
And the memory breaks and everyone's dead.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast and I'm your dungeon master,
he, him. Also with me today is Amy More as Alydin, she, her.
I just had a terrible moment that if I opened it up, maybe I would see myself inside of it.
Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane, she, her.
Obviously you guys, I didn't say it, but I was creating a lasso with my rope this whole time.
Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, he, him.
With arms wide open.
And Kyle Claset as Bazaar the Wizard, he, him.
You just need to place them just like that.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon supported podcast and we'd love for you to join us over
at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast right now when you sign up, you'll get a seven day
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And now fuck it.
Let's play.
I will try Drew.
I will try to put the notes in her hand.
Okay.
I mean, they're like notes with like the, there's like a skinny part.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm thinking like, I can carry you so many wine glasses in one hand.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Alydin, you feel the notes enter your palm and clasp them, pull them back through,
I assume.
So slowly.
So slowly, gently.
Make a dexterity saving throw, please.
Bonwyn, you do so as well.
13.
16.
Alydin, you feel resistance as it's hard to see, but you see one of these shadowy
creatures trying to grasp onto the music note itself.
Bonwyn, what do you do in response to that?
Oh, I'm going to hit it.
Okay.
That's your creature, not the memory.
Of course.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, your dice will decide that, I guess, Bonwyn.
Yeah, right.
Roll damage.
We'll say that success comes from the saving throw that you just did.
Roll damage.
Okay.
So that is eight damage.
You stab into it and it lifts its head and lets out this shrill scream as
its arm fractures off.
Dramatic.
And this one disappears into the darkness, so now you quickly pull your hand back in.
And as you do so, as these two notes enter this space, there is a...
Explosion's not the right word to use right now.
There's a burst of energy that both you and Bizard feel in this space,
and it begins to brighten a little bit.
Alydin turns to Bizard and is like, eh, waving.
The whores outside are swarming this memory.
They're hitting at it.
They're biting at it.
And we are just hoping that Bonwyn and Cav can help us.
These creatures are no longer even remotely paying attention to you, Bonwyn or Cav.
They are completely engulfing and swarming this memory, which it sounds like something
is like crushing down, like you're inside of a can and it's being crushed from the outside.
Bizard, it's your turn.
So there are four notes.
There's a distinguished environmental change as these notes came into this place.
What do you want to do?
Does it have a monocle?
How distinguished is it?
Oh my god, Amy, I was just going to say the same thing,
but I was waiting to see if there was a pause because they didn't want to interrupt him.
I was like, suddenly everyone's wearing a top hat.
Tuxedos abound.
Bow ties.
From my experience with illusion magic,
would this change make it seem like something went from being ethereal to tangible?
I guess in a sense.
Okay, I'm going to try to just reach out and place my hand on Calder's shoulder.
That's nice, I would have slapped a bitch.
Yeah, you reach out and you touch him and for the first time in this space,
like you feel that he is solid and there.
As you touch him, he still does not acknowledge you though.
Rude.
Okay.
You see these four notes, the two that you already had, two that are in Alydin's hand,
and you look down at, oh and the music box.
Can't forget the music box is in there too.
Playing its tune over and over again.
Make an insight or intelligence check, please.
Okay, try this again.
That's a 10.
With Alydin's assistance, maybe you roll with advantage.
You got this.
You're both thinking about it very hard.
That's a 18.
So with these four notes in place, with your ability to sense and feel Calder in this space,
you see the notes now.
Maybe it's your musical training, maybe it's just you've gone completely insane
and this place has taken your mind, but the notes begin to arrange themselves for you.
You see, you hear the loop of the music that's been playing constantly
and you see the notes that you have in front of you and you are able to see a pattern
in how the music's playing and the notes that you have in this space.
I begin to arrange the notes, turning back and I say,
Alydin, I think I know how the notes go.
You just need to place them just like that.
They're like teasing us there.
And Alydin was like, oh, thank God, okay.
And as you place them and as you hear the loop get to the point where it starts,
you know, it hits the repeat and it goes back,
it begins to play the notes that you have in front of you.
The correct melody plays and the last one sustains
and everything around you begins to shake violently.
Calder in this memory looks like he's having a eureka moment.
He gets up and you see, you see on the page,
which he's been writing and crumpling and writing and crumpling,
he's finished whatever this song is.
And as this correct melody plays, everything trembles.
You turn and look back out and you see the horrors backing off and away.
And through the darkness, you see the banjo man clutching his head
and screaming as cracks are racing across his body.
No, no, I just wanted to fix it to mend the song and make it whole.
And his form begins to dissolve.
The strings of his being snapped one by one like a broken instrument.
The floating fragments of reality begin to wither into dust.
Everything in this memory, you feel closing in on you.
I grab Alydin and jump out of it.
Make an acrobatics or athletics check, please.
Yes. Yes, I will attempt that.
That's a seven. Take a picture.
Okay. Send it to Jess.
Do I need to make one? Or did he just pull me into the abyss?
I didn't agree to this, but okay. I know, I know.
I assume, I mean, obviously you guys, I didn't say it,
but I was creating a lasso with my rope this whole time on the other.
Very Wonder Woman-esque, of course.
You know, just like you do.
There's a little downtime, right?
Sure.
Cav and I are just like, what's going on in there?
How you doing?
From the outside, Bonwyn and Cav, you see,
you feel this wave and you turn and you see the same thing from the banjo man.
You look back and you see Bazaard grab Alydin and run and jump.
And it's, as they do, they come out of the memory
and it's like now they're floating.
They're unable to come back down towards the platform that you are on.
Cav, you're up next. What do you do?
Breaks out to define gravity.
I like floating so much better than falling.
So like, okay.
But also like in space, that is terrifying.
Oh, so terrifying, but you know.
I guess just like try to ready myself for whatever's going to happen with this.
Breaking situation.
Like you'd sing Creed, open arms and open your arms.
Catch them with arms wide open.
Like when we say we've come out and are floating away.
How far away are we from them?
Well, you were like right side by side.
So like, yeah, we were right beside and you're like going upwards.
You're on an upwards trajectory.
Okay.
Yeah, but like not reachable by me.
What's your vert?
Yeah.
Oh, we know what the vert is because there's a high jump.
Oh, there's a high jump.
There's actually a mechanic for that in this game.
I have learned.
I thought jumping was just kind of like a...
It's equal to three plus your strength modifier.
Uh, high jump.
Not without some assistance unless you have a sweet vert.
I mean, I think I have an okay vert.
It's not like overly great.
Can you run towards me and I'll like oof you up.
Love it.
Yeah, sure.
Love it.
Okay.
So you're going to run and...
I'm sturdy.
Like I can crouch down.
Oh, and you're strong too because you do it.
Exactly.
Right?
I tell Bonwyn, just like that night at the Quivering Hills dance party.
We did a bit of a thing.
It was quite impressive.
Welcome to the middle, everybody.
Oh, buddy.
Oh, Russ.
Oh, little Muppet Russ.
Oh, that was great.
It's exactly what I was hoping it would be.
Welcome to the middle, everybody.
Welcome to the middle.
Mostly maybe Kyle and I will just talk because as you heard Russ, he can't really talk.
Also, it's the middle of the day.
So like I feel like there's going to be some weird energy.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like the middle-est middle.
Middle-est middle of the day instead of evening when we normally record these.
Yeah, yeah.
We've had the day to get through.
We're warmed up.
Ready to kind of cool down.
We'd be chilling with our people and, you know, playing D&D.
But we're here now.
We're going to do this damn thing.
And right before we started recording, I started bullying Kyle.
And I'm going to continue that because I thought it would be fun.
We always talk about, oh, we have this whole other game over on Patreon.
But if you don't have Patreon, you don't get to listen to it.
We tell you Tom runs it.
And he is a very easy, breezy DM.
Very true.
Yes, he is.
Yes.
But we never really talk about who we play.
And since Kyle is like the newest character over there and his character rules,
I thought maybe he could tell us a little bit about him.
Yeah.
So Nash Salmon Treats.
He's a swashbuckling rogue ancestral guardian barbarian.
So that's the multiclass that he's playing.
But he's a lion or a leon, however you pronounce that.
And he is named after his favorite treat.
It's part of his group's naming convention is that once you become the age of a warrior,
you name yourself after the favorite treats.
And my name's Nash Salmon Treats because that's what I do, yo.
So wait, is everybody in your group, is it like duck treats or is it like Oreo cookies?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah.
It's just whatever.
It's like, yo, this is what I associate with.
It's like, you get your choice because every time it's like,
okay, we're going out to battle.
I'm making this up right now.
But every time before an epic battle goes on,
everybody gets to eat their favorite treat beforehand.
Because it may be the last time they get to eat it.
Exactly.
I love that.
And if you could, just to continue the bullying,
could you give us just like a few, just because Nash really has a vibe.
I would say, yeah, I just want you to, like, what does Nash sound like?
So Nash is probably me in college for many reasons.
But, you know, he's kind of just chill, just does his thing.
Not very smart.
Doesn't read books because that's nerd shit.
But he's very wise.
Like I found in our interactions with him, like he may not read good, but he-
He's willing to be introspective.
Doesn't read at all.
He's complicated.
He also really gave Amy's character a lot to think about
because they were used to being the strong, powerful one.
Why read a book when there's people to read?
Those are what's happening in life.
See, that's exactly the kind of thing that Nash is always dropping.
Yeah, so there's a little bit of Nash salmon treats for you.
Thanks, Kyle.
Yeah, no problem.
If you do join our Patreon as well as getting to know
Nash Salmon Treats and our other characters better in our whole other show that we do over there,
you also get an episode dedicated to you.
And this week's Patron Says Muppet Russ is-
Dartbot Billy.
Thanks, Dartbot Billy.
Dartbot Billy, not laughing at you.
Just laughing at Russ.
Dartbot Billy.
I choose to believe that is not an avatar name.
That is their real name.
That's their real given name.
Yeah, I like it.
Dart is actually maybe a pretty cool name.
Yeah, I think so.
Dart, I can see, yeah.
Yeah, although I guess here in Canada or maybe in the U.S. too,
people say that means cigarette.
So maybe it's not.
Dartbot Billy altogether though, great given name.
And that's why you should name your next child.
Yes, everyone listening, please name your next child Dartbot Billy.
Want to see a spike in that Dartbot Billy graph.
Yeah, 20 years from now, there'll just be like a uptick, like crazy.
People will be running for office.
And it started here with you becoming a Patreon member.
So if you too want to have an effect on the naming convention in history,
hop on over to our Patreon.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
Yeah, that's it.
Thanks, friends.
That was wonderful.
We'll get you back to the episode
and I will talk to you hopefully better next week.
Love you.
Bye.
Love you.
Bye.
You are yeeting.
You're yeeting, Cav, up into the air.
Cav, you've been yeeting.
You've been yeeting.
First I did the eating.
Now I'm being eaten.
It's just been the life.
And then hopefully I can catch you guys back because again,
you're going to get them and then you're all just floating away.
The yeety becomes the yeeter.
The yeeter becomes the yeetee.
Carla, make a dex check with your lasso
as all of this is happening.
Oh, a nat 20.
Shit, yes.
Oh, shit.
Finally, finally.
Take a picture.
I've been saving it this whole time.
For this moment.
OK.
For this moment.
So Cav, you run forward and step into Bonwyn's hands
and she launches you up and towards Alydin and Bazaar
who are floating away and you grab hold of Alydin.
And then feel a tug at your foot as you see that the rope
that Bonwyn had is now around your ankle
and she's holding you there.
All around you, everything is collapsing.
Memories are disappearing, but they're not breaking.
They're not fracturing the same way that they did.
And as the void collapses, you feel now all pulled back
down towards Bonwyn as she's trying to anchor you there.
After a quick moment, everything goes completely dark
and then you feel cool grass under your hands.
You all find yourselves in the clearing.
Dawn is breaking.
Wait, would you say it's a breaking Dawn situation?
Maybe.
Are we sparkling?
Did we become vampires?
Did anyone else feel weird that the end of the song was
da na na na na na?
I mean, it is of such a clear ending.
Yeah.
It actually was a great choice.
The air around you still feels wrong.
A distant rippling sound echoes across the space
like a great harp being tuned.
The wind carries a whisper, not of the banjo man,
but of something older, something deeper.
You hear the song was merely a symptom.
The fracture still lingers and we are listening.
The wind stops.
Everything's silent for a moment.
Alydin, you look down at your feet and the music box
plays one final note and then stops.
Damn, I thought you were going to say it explodes.
In your face, the two hill points you had, they're gone.
You're still all dead.
Alydin will bend down and pick up the box.
You hold it and it rattles like there's something loose or broken inside.
Do you want me to light that on fire for you or?
I just had a terrible moment that if I opened it up,
maybe I would see myself inside of it.
I pass it to Buzard.
Uh, I'm going to take it, okay.
I, you know, okay.
It deserves observation, to say the least.
You look across the clearing and the old warped tree
that you used to climb into the fey is fractured and split.
Still there, but it's like it's been axed in two.
And coming out of the woods around you, you see all of the missing children.
You see Tally run, sprint across the field towards you, Alydin.
Jump into your arms, which likely knocks you on your ass again.
Yeah.
You see Cedric and his eye that works too hard
and you see a whole bunch of other children all coming out
that you don't recognize.
They fill this clearing.
There's so many of them.
How long?
June's going to be pissed.
I want to, I want to look for the oldest one.
You find a child that's 15 ish.
Of similar age to myself.
Of similar age to yourself.
Age is just a number.
Um, and I go up to them and where, where are you from?
I'm, I'm from Kingstown.
Where, where am I?
Well, Vintersmouth ish.
There's a look of confusion.
I look, I look to Bazaar and I, and I shrug.
I go, do we take them home with us?
I mean, we can't leave them out here.
You know, we have a good space working with the school.
We have a plan in place.
We can attempt to return those back to Kingstown,
but I, who knows how long this has been happening.
Um.
Do you guys have parents?
You see them look to each other
and a lot of them are shaking their heads
and couple are, couple are nodding,
but the majority of them appear to not.
You know, I bet you're hungry.
You've been through a lot.
Maybe we should, why don't we just go get a snack?
Everything's going to make more sense
or at least feel easier to deal with.
If we just maybe go have a snack.
What time is it?
Is Dem Bunsdoe open?
Oh, I bet they're open.
You guys are going to love this place.
It's so good.
My treat, come on.
You lead all these children out of this clearing
and back towards Vintersmouth
and we cut to those bunsdoe
where everybody's in the street outside
and you've, you've been.
Approximately how many children are we talking about?
Let's say a number.
Yeah.
Everybody roll a d20.
Oh boy.
Shit, things are about to get low.
Not 20, no.
Five.
12.
Six.
Five, 12, six.
That's right, Kyle, what'd you get?
I got an 11.
11, and 18, 19, there are 49 children in total.
Oh wow, no wonder we couldn't find seating inside.
As you get back to town though,
everybody who you pass is shocked to see you.
You walk through the hot block
and Thane comes out of Everbane's
and he sees you there, Bonwyn.
And he says, you're, you're, you're, you came back, you're back.
Of course, I mean, it's only,
we had to go get the children.
Well, he looks and you see a few people like,
not running, but like see you
and like they're going to go get somebody.
After hearing that, I'm gonna,
I, Bazaard's gonna go to that 15-year-old and be like,
you, you say you're 15-year-old, 15 years old.
What year were you born?
Fuck.
You there, boy.
What year is it?
He tells you a year that is several years earlier.
So they're out of time.
Like they've been, they were trapped there.
He may be 15, but he should not be 15.
Yes.
And Thane looks to you and he says,
you've been, you've all been gone.
The kids kept disappearing.
You found them.
That's amazing.
You see the guard running up the street
and he says, you've been gone for three, three weeks.
I thought he was going to say years.
10 years.
No, not doing that again.
Three years would have been manageable though, but.
Yeah.
Weeks is better.
We looked for you everywhere.
Like we couldn't, we couldn't find you or where you went.
Yeah.
It turns out a lot of things in this world
are not at all how I thought they were.
I was stuck with a fake family.
There was this whole other world and we were on.
It's a lot Thane.
It's a lot to explain.
Things aren't what they seem though.
He begins to help you like move these children down.
He's like, we're going to get you something to.
Okay.
Moving you to school.
The guard has come and one of them looks to you
and says, where's, where's, where's Dase?
Where's, where's, where's the captain?
Where is Dase?
And I guess I look at Cav and I was,
because it was the four of us, right?
Yeah.
Like me and Cav and Bazaar and Dase.
Well, you, you and Dase and Thane went out.
Thane had to go back,
but you and Dase went forward,
but then didn't save.
And then Bazaar and Cav came after.
Oh God, it's all on me.
It was just me and Dase.
It's just you and Dase.
Shit.
And you're like, fuck that guy.
And then when I met up with them,
it was just me.
Fuck.
You know what though?
You can't be held responsible for that.
This is crazy magic stuff.
Definitely.
I definitely feel responsible in the moment.
Um, I'm not, I'm not sure what happened to him.
He was with me and then he wasn't.
And so he's, he's still back there?
I don't know.
He wasn't in the space we were.
So it's likely, yes, still there.
Getting back there though,
seeing that tree in the state it was,
I doubt that is a route for us.
Yeah.
Because when we saw those memories,
there was no, no Dase memories there, right?
So he was somewhere else.
Correct.
But what we do know is that the kids
weren't just coming from here.
So if we do need to go find Dase,
there has to be a portal near Kingstown.
Because kids from Kingstown were taken.
So we want to follow this through.
We can't leave him there.
Yeah, there's another way in.
We're going to have to take these kids home anyway.
And if we're going to go back in,
we need to be better fucking prepared than we were.
Yeah, we do.
Cav, I think you need to get to a doctor.
As I'm like bleeding out.
Yeah, like you're just looking a little rough.
Cav's being so quiet.
Guards have come and are like propping you up.
I'm actually leaning on the 15-year-olds
to like prop myself up.
Guards come and like shimmy themselves out from,
you know, away from the 15-year-olds
and are moving you towards the hospital.
That's a really awkward sentence.
The guards are moving you away from the 15-year-olds.
They're taking you away from the children?
Yeah.
Let's move this bloody beaten man
away from these kids.
You are violating your parole right now, sir.
In a way to make sure that he is taken care of.
You get these children to the school.
They're under watchful eye.
All of you are getting tended to,
patching any wounds you have.
I think Bizard would take a moment
to talk to the group and be like,
I wouldn't openly talk about what happened to anybody.
I don't think they would believe you.
And I don't need people worrying about you.
We don't need people worrying about us.
So I don't know.
Tell who you trust, but.
Right.
We were just lost in the woods.
And then we found all the kids from years ago.
Think about how it sounds as an outsider.
Floating memories.
The whole experience.
It doesn't make sense.
A house filled with musical instruments attacking us.
It sounds crazy.
It's absurd.
It's absurd.
But this is the world we've learned that we exist in.
Don't people need to know?
If they can't understand
because they weren't there to experience though,
it's just going to be like
falling on deaf ears, won't it?
I think it would cause more chaos
knowing about something so hard to understand
than it would bring about curiosity.
I'm curious.
Like I kind of want to go back
and figure out why the hell
I can't cast a spell without it backfiring on me.
Then it's our job to make sure that they stay safe.
Exactly.
We took care of one portal.
Maybe we can take care of the others.
I don't know.
Take care of yourselves.
Rest up.
We can catch up on this later.
You're going to have to teach me a whole lot more magic.
You're going to have to learn a whole lot more magic.
Way to put that back on me.
Well, we're going to get there together
because I have to learn a whole lot more magic too.
That shit was ridiculous.
It is funny.
I'm excited by it.
It's, you know, using my spells
and having them completely explode in my face,
you know, metaphorically speaking.
Was I speaking in rhymes?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
That wasn't on purpose?
No.
I thought it was a weird time to start some poetry.
Yeah, it felt odd.
And I, you know, it's not one of the best things that I do.
But, yeah, okay.
I'm done thinking about that place for now.
Yeah.
But I feel great now that I ate.
Food is good.
You all split up and return home
and we'll end on Bonwyn who has used...
How are you feeling walking back to Everbane's?
Oh, terrible.
I like basically just forgot about days.
And I mean, you know, in further reflection and therapy,
I'm sure I'll come to realize there was a lot going on.
And I was not the one that created the situation
that put us there.
But, you know, he was my friend.
And I just like lost him in this scary, un-understandable place.
So, yeah, feeling pretty bad.
Feeling happy that we got the kids back.
But, yeah, just feeling very guilty, I think.
As you open the door to Everbane's,
the familiar warmth from the forge isn't there.
You step in, you see Thane, who's returned.
He's trying to stoke the fire of the forge.
Hears you come in, so I went out,
I don't know how long ago, a couple days ago.
I haven't been able to get it back going.
Has anything else been weird here?
I mean, other than us missing?
But here, here at Everbane, has anything been weird?
I mean, no, weird.
I don't think so.
He looks around, I don't know what you mean.
But no, like, I mean,
aside from not being able to get the forge going.
Okay, well, let me try.
You go over to it and inspect it.
There's no, you know this, like, the back of your hand.
There's no physical damage to it or anything around it.
And you go to light it.
Any flame that enters it immediately gets snuffed out.
Flint won't spark.
Bellows won't stoke.
The forge refuses to burn.
Dumbgeons and Dragons, Season 4, Episode 26,
starring Amy More as Alydin, Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane,
Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave,
Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard,
and Russ More as your dungeon master.
Dialogue editing and sound design of today's episode is by Russ More.
Our community manager is Jessica Fabiuk.
Music is from Epidemic Sound,
and sound effects are from Epidemic Sound and Boom Library.
Our amazing cover art is by Matt Garbutt.
And we'd like to say a huge thank you to our supporting producers,
including Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Fabiuk,
Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
Angaron Kiersen, Perry Matey,
Old School Gamer D, Craig Zeiss,
and L.A. Branton.
Have you been enjoying your time with Dumbgeons and Dragons?
Well, thank you so much for being here.
If you're looking for more of what you love,
come over to Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast,
where you're going to get a seven-day free trial,
and when you're a patron for at least three months,
we're going to send you some merch based on the tier you're at.
Come on over.
We hope to see you over there.
Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast.
Have a great week.
We'll talk to you soon.
All right, Dase.
I forgot about Dase.
Shit.
Where the fuck is Dase?
Oh, my God.
Did we leave Dase in the fae?
Absolutely.
What shit happened to Dase?
Did he come with us?
Yes, he had a childhood moment or something,
and then we didn't hear from him.
He disappeared.
God, we're going to have to go back for Dase.
Never mind.
I won't say that anymore.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.