DUMBGEONS & DRAGONS

Season 3 • June 27, 2024

Auntie Nina’s Office Visit

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Prepare yourselves for the season finale.

Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin in a moment.

We're at the fountain at the foot of City Hall and the four of you after wing night

and maybe a couple more oatmeal stouts and whatever other beverages you have prepared.

A slight beer for the evening.

A slight beer for the evening.

Nothing heavy at all.

Yeah, ready for a caper.

Perfect.

Find yourselves ready to go break into some drawers.

What does everybody look like?

And maybe have you done preparations?

Have you just left the bar?

Let's check in.

Starting with Kav, who is the leader of this.

Kav's still wearing his work tunic and pants.

And he's got his messenger style bag, a little cloak over one arm.

And just like really feeling it on the way back to City Hall.

Well, you're supposed to be there, right?

Like that's true.

Maybe you forgot something at work.

Exactly.

Maybe you're sneaking back to do some paperwork.

Who knows?

Maybe.

That's right.

Alladin.

I only have like one set of clothes, so I'm wearing what I'm wearing.

But I have covered my my bucket in like I've taken like some some coal

and some ash from a fire pit and just kind of like took the shine off of it.

Perfect.

You know, don't want to be too conspicuous.

Bizarre, you are or maybe have or are in the process of casting a spell,

which is really in the previous episode was part of this whole plan working.

How do we find you at this moment?

I'm going to say I probably just like dipped into a dark alley

and come back out as Nina say,

oh, yes, darling, this is how we are going to get into the City Hall.

No problem.

Roll a performance check to see how believable it is to everybody else.

Oh, man.

Fuck, yeah, I'm actually good at these.

There you go.

Oh, my God, y'all.

That's a fucking Nat 20 for a 26.

Oh, my God.

Doesn't matter what it sounds like to your ears.

This is perfect.

Nina, like nailed it.

Absolutely.

So you look like Nina walking out of the walking out of the alleyway.

And then Bonwyn, obviously Kavlaran's leading this,

but you have the most skill in this sense.

What is your attire going into this caper?

I mean, I think I generally always just am wearing like my work clothes.

I've made sure to kind of make sure anything jingly jangly is

like secured, even though, again, we're kind of just like walking in.

Yeah.

I don't need to be dressed like a cat burglar, but still just want

to make sure I can be quiet and sneaky.

Also, for one second there, when Nina walked out,

there was a moment when I was like, oh, fuck.

Oh, no, oh, it's fine.

Right.

OK.

Too many stouts.

Not a lot of magic.

Yeah.

In my day to day.

So this is some pretty dope shit.

Oh, yeah, Alydin is just sitting there like, oh, it worked.

I break for a second.

No, it's me bizarre.

You're good.

I mean, you are good, darling.

You're good.

It's crazy.

Unbelievable.

And Kav is like pretty nonplus with it.

He's seen it before.

But like, yeah, he admits it's well done.

And we're like the same height.

So I kind of like, I don't know,

tug on your shirt sleeve and bring you a little closer.

And I go, is this going to hurt you?

It already kind of has.

One of those things where you have to shrink your bones.

Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D fifth edition actual play

podcast.

And I'm your dungeon master Russ More, he him.

Also with me today is Amy More as Alydin, she her.

Auntie Nina, did you move offices?

Carla Maxstead as Bonwyn Everbane, she her.

Plus, it makes me think there's something good in here.

Because why would you do that?

Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, he him.

You know what, I could get one done tonight for sure.

And Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard, he him.

Prop the ownership here, and then business ownership

over here.

Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon supported podcast.

And yes, this is the season finale, but don't worry,

the adventure continues in September.

And throughout the summer, we'll be having mini episodes.

Join us on Patreon, get some more episodes.

We hope to see you over there.

And now fuck it, let's play.

You're walking up the steps to City Hall

and the doors open and we see the four of you

slow motion like hero walking into the place.

And as you are looking around, obviously Kavlaran

Bizarre, I would place you at the front

because you know where you're going.

We interrupt this cool guy walk as a security guard

pops up in front of you and says,

oh, what are you doing here?

Nina, is that you?

Yes, darling, who else did you expect?

Well, it's after hours.

I didn't expect anybody to be coming in tonight.

Which means it must be fucking important

for me to be here, so get out of the way.

Of course, I just have to go.

Just let the supervisor know that you're here

and then you're free to go, okay?

If you could just come sign in as well

and then we'll make sure everything's all ready.

There's a supervisor here as well.

You don't just take the note at night.

No, there's a couple of us.

One of us, he's doing the rounds right now

and I was just watching the front, okay?

If you could just come sign in,

just make sure it's all, everything's fine.

Kav, you too, and you've got friends here.

There's usually no visiting after hours,

but do you know Bonwyn at all?

Oh, yeah, hey, Bonwyn, good to see you.

Hey, how are you?

Great, you're right.

Leonard, you?

I know, how's your sister?

Oh, she's great, yeah, absolutely.

Oh, she's doing good in Kingstown.

I haven't seen her in so long.

She is, she's been, she got into all the arts

and crafts and was like, really,

everybody has one in town here,

so I had to go to the other city to see some more.

As they're chatting, I pull on Nina's sleeve

and I go, Auntie Nina, Auntie Nina,

aren't you gonna show me your office?

Is it true you can fire anybody?

Make a group, either performance or deception check,

whichever you prefer or whichever feels most appropriate

for how your character is acting.

18. Deception.

I'm just talking to my friend, Leonard.

You're doing great.

Do you really need to perform?

Yeah, you don't have to perform.

You're not lying.

I think you're probably just like, actually,

it's genuine.

How's your sister? I genuinely know, Leonard.

I'm genuinely curious about his sister.

Well, that's a five.

Put him a child who listens to me anyway.

That's two out of three successes, so that works.

He kind of looks over as Alydin starts

loudly talking to Nina and is, you know what?

I'll fill it out.

You go ahead.

I'll let Pip know that you're wandering around

and just be quick, okay?

And thank you.

Good to see you.

Good to see you, Bonwyn.

And he heads over to the front desk.

Yeah, yeah, say hi to Millie for me.

So good to see you.

Did I say we didn't sign in?

We totally did, actually, already.

And I am casting a spell called Gift of Gab.

I pretty much reshaped the memories of listeners

in the immediate area so that they forget everything

that was said in the last six seconds

and then they believe the verbal component,

which is me saying, I did actually sign us all in.

Okay, okay, is there any check or anything for that

or it just happens?

No, it just happens.

And it's a reaction when you take,

when you speak to another creature.

This is a real, these are not the droids

you're looking for situation.

Totally.

Yeah, then absolutely.

Oh yeah, of course, nevermind.

You're good to go.

Well, yeah, great to see you.

Have fun.

He leans down to Alydin.

Have fun looking around.

City Hall is a magical place.

It sure seems so, sir.

Right.

Yes, Alydin, so bureaucracy, let's go.

Making your way down the first hall,

you round a corner and Amy,

what do you see in front of you?

An intern memorial wall.

Poor business practices all over the place.

Alydin Seas is a hallway filled with portraits

of past mayors.

All very ornate.

It's even for a child, she's like, that's too much.

Like that's, it's way too much.

And midway through this hallway,

they have a water fountain, a drinking fountain

that is a basin that just has some free flowing water,

not unlike the gold one that is outside the building,

but kind of a miniature version in here.

And like she could not help herself.

She kind of skips over and goes,

look, it's water inside.

And like, that's a drink from the fountain.

Alydin, you run over to the water fountain.

Everybody kind of stops for a moment.

Everybody make perception check

as you're standing in this hall.

Me too.

Yeah, you with disadvantage

because you're drinking water.

Eight. I feel like it's disadvantage

just because I'm rolling it.

Am I already not disadvantaged?

Just your natural disadvantage.

Yeah, well, I rolled a nine and a 17, so a nine.

Oh.

What's Cav got there?

11 was my worst.

Okay, great.

Everything seems to be going just fine

as Alydin drinks water

and you begin to move back down the hallway.

You round a couple more corners.

Every now and again, Nina giving a,

or Nina giving a little commentary

on the rooms you're passing,

just in case one of the guard happens to be

up and around the corner.

Yes, so property ownership here

and then there is the business ownership over here.

As you're making your way down to Nina's office

down this last corridor,

you see up ahead something that catches your eye.

Carla, what do you see?

I think I see the aforementioned kitchen

where the donuts are and it's ridiculous.

There's an espresso machine.

There's a bubbly water thing.

There's fridges full of stuff.

Nothing is, these aren't vending machines.

This is just, this is just free for staff.

All kinds of snacks, like a whole little

like airport style vestibule shop of snacks,

but just for staff, which is, you know,

I'm not going hungry, but come on guys.

Exactly.

For those playing the home game,

Amy just raised her hand for Alydin.

Yeah, like there's a whole slew of

underfed people on this town.

Not that I begrudge people, free snacks at work,

but this is just, it's too much.

This is very much situational.

Yeah, and wrong.

Pull up your character sheet.

You're going to make a check here

to see if you can resist the snacks.

I mean, I don't know if I could.

You're a starving kid on the street.

Shiny apples, bananas, like just-

This food is kept cold.

Yeah.

Somehow, like.

I mean, I feel like survival is the check to make there.

Would you-

It's a lot of instincts.

So rolling us, for Alydin specifically,

rolling a successful survival check

would be me running and getting snacks.

Would be you running and getting snacks, yep.

Watch Nat 20, here it comes.

Totally, this is Amy's best roll.

No, no, it's a three, so just regular.

Plus two, a five.

I'm tugging on Baldwin's sleeve like,

look, look, look at all the food.

I know.

Look at all the food.

I know.

Maybe just see what looks good

and we'll go get it tomorrow.

I want you to have these things, but like.

Do they know how many there are?

If I take one, will they know?

I don't know.

Honestly, I didn't expect it to be like this.

I've only been in City Hall to get my business license

and pay my taxes.

I haven't been back here.

Maybe on the way out?

Maybe on the way out?

Maybe on the way out.

Honestly, I kind of want to swipe something.

After I saw those gold ornate frames,

everything in here is so ostentatious.

I hate it.

Filled with hope.

Out of Nina's voice, I kind of lay down and say,

you should totally take something.

They really just garner how much was there

versus the last day and if they need to order more,

they kind of just fill it in as a need by basis.

They don't actually keep track

of the inventory in that manner.

So yeah, we can take some on the way out, for sure.

Yeah, on the way out.

I don't want it to weigh me down.

Yeah, good thinking.

Because I'm going to fill this bucket.

Yeah.

The three adults in the situation continue walking

and we see Alydin just longingly looking

at the slow walk right past the kitchen door

until one of you reaches back and there's just a yoink.

And you make your way down to the end of this hall

and there's a sign up on the wall

that says Mayoral Assistant Nina C. Madonna.

You go to open the door.

Who goes to open the door?

Nina.

Nina, obviously.

Good call.

Nina goes to open the door and it is locked.

Yes, I seem to have forgotten my keys.

That's okay because we're not moving around.

I don't know what I'm doing.

That's amazing.

It's good to just stay in character.

The thing was locked and then just four sets of dead eyes

like, well, what the fuck do we do now?

Shit, it's locked, turn around.

I'm going home, get the canoe on the way out.

We couldn't have anticipated this.

I will use my thief's tools to try to open the door.

Please do, sleight of hand.

You fucking problem solver is what you are.

That is a 14.

Yeah, you bend down and quickly move.

I don't bend down.

I'm very short. You're the same height.

You reach your tools and you hear a click

and the door unlocks and creaks open

into a very stark and empty space.

This isn't what I thought her office would look like.

This isn't what her office looks like.

There's usually a large desk in her office.

Again, there should be some drawers, isn't there?

Auntie Nina, did you move offices?

No, I do not believe I did.

You hear footsteps down at the far end of the hallway.

Sounds like heavy, two sets of footsteps.

You don't see them yet,

but you hear them coming from down the corridors.

Do I recognize my friend Leonard's voice?

You don't hear a voice.

Is there anywhere to be like out of sight?

There's in this room, there's back in the kitchen

and there is another door, which you know is a staircase

that would go up to the next floor.

I mean, we've got Nina with us.

We don't need to act sneaky.

True.

Unless this is Nina,

but maybe your niece wants some snacks, Nina.

Why don't we go get some snacks?

Yeah.

Auntie, I'm so hungry.

Let's double back to that kitchen.

Absolutely.

Head back down to the kitchen.

You get in there.

Alydin, you are at this point.

Welcome to dive into all of the food that's in there.

Oh, I'm filling my bucket, literally.

And the footsteps are getting louder

and they're coming towards your location.

And as you are all making small talk,

trying to look nonchAlydint,

around the corner you see Leonard and another guard

who only if you don't know him,

well, three of you would probably know him

because you worked there, would be Pip,

the head security guard for tonight.

Is everything okay down here?

We heard, yeah, we just heard one of the alarms go off

and just wanted to make sure that everything was okay.

We're just getting some snacks.

Oh, okay.

I didn't know that Auntie Nina worked in a place

that had so much food.

You guys are the coolest.

Well.

I wanna work here when I'm older.

My mouth is full of food.

It is quite good.

Okay, well, we'll just go down and reset the alarm

on your door there, no problem.

And be on our way.

Yeah, that's weird.

Did you go into your office down at the end there?

Leonard goes and heads down to check the door.

I nod my head with the food in my mouth.

Auntie Nina said that it was unlocked

and then she said something about

incompetent ass hats not locking up

and then I, was I not supposed to say that?

Make a, make an intimidation role, Alydin.

Could be supported with assistance

by Kyle being Nina here, so with advantage.

Fucking need advantage.

God damn it, 12?

Sure.

Yeah, he looks to Nina who's stuffing their face.

Do you give like a look to support this, Kyle?

Yeah, big time.

Okay, cool.

He's like pointing like.

The eyebrow is up.

Okay, we'll go make sure that everything's reset

and you just have a great night, everybody.

Eat up.

Not necessary, no.

No, don't reset, okay.

Okay, well we'll just go deactivate

and then leave it and you can reset it on your way out.

Appreciate it.

Thank you, darling.

He goes down to check on Leonard

and then after a brief moment,

the two of them come back and say,

all right, have a good night.

We'll see you on your way out.

Bye, misters.

As you hear their footsteps getting farther

in the distance,

you can go back down to the office if you would like

or what you thought was the office anyways.

Yeah.

You go back down there and now when you look in,

the room has Gwenda Laveer's desk inside of it.

There is a chair and a small desk

and Bizard, you get the desk,

which is odd because right now you would probably

be the one to do this for Nina

and it's not coming to mind

but you have the feeling some enchantment

or illusion was placed upon the room.

Huh, that's very odd.

We'll be right back.

It's the middle.

Welcome to the middle of this season finale,

season three finale.

It's all coming to an end.

Should we sing old Lang Syne or something?

Yeah, I feel like today there's a very in the air,

like everything's wrapping up.

Should, oh, no, no.

Not really.

No, it doesn't.

It's not really how, spoiler alert,

we're coming back with these characters next season.

So cat's out of the bag.

But yeah, this is, I love this episode.

It's very silly.

It's a nice end to the season.

I mean, the whole season has been great.

You know, we made it just so we could introduce

the characters and the world and the friends

and all that sort of stuff.

But going out on this little caper is wonderful.

And then when you keep listening,

cause that's what you're gonna do,

you're gonna come back and be like-

More gonna happen.

More's gonna happen next season.

More's gonna happen, yeah.

We're picking up basically right where we leave off.

So there won't be any time jumps,

any time streams, any move forward 10 years,

any of that bullshit that I've ever pulled in the past.

This is being recorded, Russ, so thank you.

So we are not releasing regular episodes

through the summer, but there is gonna be

some little, some little bite size,

little bits coming out, some little snacks.

Yeah, so we're still figuring those out,

but yeah, little just NPC interactions around the town,

which will be set before the events of this episode.

Yes.

Yeah, so we'll get to know some of the other people

in the town, which hopefully we get to see more of

in the coming season.

Yeah, so that's very exciting.

If that's still not enough, which I get it.

It probably won't be.

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Okay, bye everybody.

Bye.

That's very odd.

Who did this?

Who did this?

Okay.

Well, other magic users seem to be abound

because I didn't set this up.

So that was like a magic trick.

It just looked like it was empty,

but it's not empty.

Yeah, no, it's 100% not empty.

I didn't do this.

I mean, you know, the arcane locks.

I should have thought about that, but.

So what do we do now?

I mean.

Well, it's tripped now, right?

It is like a trap, but now it's tripped

so we can go in now.

But like the tripped trap is already tripped.

What if there's another trap

waiting to be tripped inside?

Alydin is just sitting there like

eyes going back and forth between all of them

and being like, I don't know what the hell is going on.

I say we just keep tripping the traps.

Well, they already know we're here, right?

So like.

They already know we're here.

It'd be super weird if you brought your niece

on a tour and you didn't bring her to your office.

That would be weird.

Auntie Nina. That's true.

All right, yeah, let's do it.

Plus it makes me think there's something good in here

because why would she do that if there was nothing?

If it's just an administrative office,

why would you need a trick?

Kavlarne, do you have a super important job

where you need to have some magic on your door?

Absolutely not.

It definitely means there's something to hide

rather than something to keep secure.

All right, I'll show you that cabinet.

We may be getting there.

You go into this first office area

and make your way to the door, Kavlarne.

You reach for the handle and it is unlocked

and swings open.

See, that's the first door I was expecting.

It's the door within the door.

Why can't we?

Oh, well.

Can't even barely open this.

You'll see.

Is it another magic thing?

You kind of just have to kind of scooch on through.

Okay, I'm not really built for scooching, but okay.

Everybody scooches in, I guess.

Who goes first, Kavlarne?

Sure, yeah.

Kavlarne.

Nina will follow.

Kavlarne scooches in followed by Bazaar Nina

and Kavlarne, you are climbing up onto the desk

to make room and Bonwyn, you and Alydin,

as you enter, you see that this room,

the majority of it is filled with a massive desk,

hence the lack of ability to open the door

and everybody just kind of scooching in around you.

Okay, how does she work like this?

I don't know, but apparently she's great at her job.

You can throw chickens across this desk.

You really could.

Absolutely.

Very true.

Bonwyn, it's that one right there

and the two bottom drawers on it

are the ones with the locks on it.

Okay.

I assume now I have my hands in the air

and I'm scooching around the side to fit.

Thank goodness Kav just climbed right up on the desk,

so he's not in the way anymore.

Eliminate that problem.

Yeah, because assuming the filing cabinet

is like the opposite, like kitty corner,

diagonally across from the door we just came in.

On the opposite wall there,

so you would have to go to the other side, but yeah.

No checks necessary to get around.

You can get to the cabinet.

So these ones aren't locked, these top ones, they're?

Yeah, the top three, they just have like

personnel files and that sort of thing in it.

Did you read any?

I mean, I may be dipped into Oak's fun fact

because mom is barred from City Hall.

Oh my God, I'm so not surprised

she was banned from our high school too.

No.

Oak, some things never change.

Next time we do boys night, I'm getting the full story.

Oh my goodness, she's a lovely woman,

but oh boy, does love her son.

Does really love her son.

Okay, I am going to try to open

the second from the bottom drawer.

Okay.

I pull out my thieves tools

and I'm about to just like dig in there

and then I think,

well, maybe this is better.

Investigation.

Oh, Nat 20 plus four.

Oh shit, what's up?

Fuck it, I know the model and serial number

of this filing cabinet.

So with a Nat 20, I'll give you both locks.

The top one, you are examining it

and there is a small hole,

which to you, having done a lot of metal work

and that sort of thing,

have worked with locks on your own projects.

There's a small hole which doesn't seem

to be connected or important

to the actual locking mechanism.

And on the bottom one,

there is like,

there's a very subtle vibration

coming from the actual lock itself.

Like not as you're approaching it,

you don't really sense it

and as you're kind of fumbling around

with your tools, you don't really sense it,

but it's once you kind of stop

and take a moment,

like there's just a slight hum sound

that's coming from it.

Okay, this doesn't make any sense,

but this is what I want to try to do.

Especially with that bottom one that's buzzing,

is from my pouch, pull out a magnet

and like run the magnet over it

and see if that,

I'm trying to decouse it.

Sure.

It's like what I'm,

that's what Carla's thinking,

but like see if I can disrupt the flow

of whatever is vibrating.

Sure, yeah.

Cause I don't know how magic works.

No, you don't.

So you put the,

so you have a magnet on your person,

you are, you run it past.

Like there's a slight pull as you,

as it moves past,

but then you see,

and bizarre as you're kind of stepping in,

as you're seeing kind of,

there's something funky happening here.

You see this electric shock

that shoots out of the lower lock towards the magnet,

which gives you Bonwyn,

more than a static shock,

it causes you to drop the magnet on the floor.

Kind of recoil.

Ouch.

Ooh.

What do you,

do you know what's causing that?

Ooh, hard to say without seeing the inside of it,

but some form of,

some form of enchantment placed upon it.

So I don't,

don't have a way to dispel this though.

Okay.

Well, related question.

The one above,

see this little hole?

What's that about do you think?

Is it gonna shoot gas in my face

or an arrow or something?

Could be,

or possibly maybe it's the actual keyhole

and the keyhole is a ruse.

And just cause I already had the magnet,

I'm also just gonna magnet the top,

cause why not?

Yeah, it's,

see if that does anything.

Magnet the top one,

it sticks as you would presume

it would stick to a metal lock.

I'm gonna search under desk

for something that might be the exact diameter

of that hole.

Like maybe something very inconspicuous

that would be on a desk that,

once you look at it,

you're like, okay, let's go.

Sure, make an investigation roll please.

Sick.

That's a 14.

Okay.

Can I also crawl under the desk

and investigate too?

Sure, you roll a separate investigation.

So searching around on the top of the desk.

Searching around to the top of the desk,

there's like stacks of papers that you see,

there's a big notepad in the center

that doesn't have anything really

of any importance mentioned in it.

You pull open the center drawer

and there's a series of pencils and quills.

You don't see anything that looks like,

like she's got hair pins,

there are thumb tacks,

there are push pins,

like a sewing needle.

So a couple things that would,

that could fit in there,

but nothing that looks like a locking mechanism device.

Well, going back to the other idea

of it being some kind of gas emitter,

is there, you know,

and I look around for,

since it's a windowless room,

I'm gonna look for a candle.

Yes, so there are two sconces on the wall,

both that have candles set in them

that are half burned down at this point.

I'm gonna light one real quick,

get some like, you know,

semi-melted wax, ball it up,

and shove it in that hole.

Okay.

So you do that,

stuff that little hole with wax.

Okay, now I'll try and open it.

Okay, a sleight of hand, please.

14.

You get to work and same as the door,

you feel the locking mechanism catch,

and as it catches,

you feel something else inside the lock catch.

Give me a dexterity saving throw.

Oh, nat 20 again.

Okay.

So be it-

Plus six, 26.

Be it the, that's very good.

So be it your attention is heightened a little bit

after being shocked,

plus the addition of the wax,

you pull your hands back as that happens,

and this needle shoots out of that little hole,

slow at first as it works through the wax,

and then propels itself through the wax

that Bazaar has placed there.

But I get out of the way in time.

Yeah, you do.

You are fine, yeah.

Sweet.

Then does the drawer open?

Then, yeah, you sensed that it unlocked,

so now if you so desire,

you could open the mechanism and pull the drawer open.

Well, a flying needle is rude.

How does she open her own drawer?

That's a great question.

The key itself would keep the needle

from coming out, darling.

Oh, oh, sure, of course.

That's what she would say.

I'm gonna pull open the drawer.

Okay, drawer slides open,

and everybody's kinda crowded around Bonwyn.

Inside is, I mean, I don't know how exciting

you want me to make the description of books are,

but there are several ledgers inside of this.

You know what, let Kavlaran describe

how excited he is to see these books, right?

Because I look in, Alydin is just like,

yeah, those are books.

I bet Kavlaran has a different feeling.

Kavlaran has never been so happy

as to see nondescript, plain ledger-type books.

And that's exactly what they are.

There's nothing inherently special about these.

They're not a special color.

They're just plain beige, large ledger books.

Three of them stacked on top of each other

inside of this drawer.

Guys, I think we just found the good stuff.

Nice. The raw ones?

The raw ones, exactly.

Kav touches his nose.

So are you gonna grab them?

I mean, yeah, just gonna flip one open

and take a little look-see, Russ.

Pull it out and flip it open,

and there are extensive entries on money,

tax dollars, investments, payments

from different organizations,

all coming in to and out of the mayoral office.

Is there like a tab system

and one might say like fraud on it?

It doesn't say-

Some people don't look for the obvious.

Extortion.

Obvious, okay.

It has-

Misappropriated funds.

It has single letter tabs down the side,

and they happen to be F-R-A-U-D

as the different sections.

So I mean, in a sense, that's what it is.

Perhaps it was an oversight.

Perhaps they knew exactly what they were doing.

It's too early to tell.

Subconsciously.

Yeah, it's too.

Yeah.

But yes, it appears to you

that these books are what you have been looking for.

Okay, this should be,

I mean, I'm gonna have to take a closer look at it,

but this should be everything we need.

Amazing.

I wanna pull out that drawer.

Okay.

To see if I can get to the one behind.

Okay.

Circumventing whatever the thing is on it.

Okay, so you pull out the drawer,

and before it,

I'm a jackass.

We all die.

Before it reaches the end

to where you'd be able to,

like, k-k-k-k, the drawer,

it hits the desk behind you.

You hit the desk,

and there's no room to pull it completely out.

Of course.

Bonwyn, it might be good to look

if there's a way to reset that needle,

just so we can get this back into the-

You're so right.

Yeah, great, great thought.

Can somebody, can you,

I can't even reach that.

It's, like, over on the other side of the,

can you, you've got long-

I got it, don't worry.

I'll climb over the desk.

Don't worry about it.

Yeah, you've got good reach

with those arms of yours.

Do you notice any other pinholes?

Like, she set it off by accident,

and there's just, like,

the wall is just filled with-

Poor Gwen Devere.

Just, like, went to go grab something,

so I'm just like, ah!

One thing that was to not describe Gwen Devere

was her eye patch.

That's true, yeah.

Yeah, right?

Classic Gwen Devere.

Her eye patch and her single deflated

breast implant.

Gwen Devere, that, yeah.

So, yeah, I'm gonna see if I can just, like,

put it back in and reset it and close it.

Let's make one more sleight of hand check.

Nah, 25.

Okay.

My god, your rolls are good.

I have not done a really good roll tonight.

I have not done a really good roll tonight.

I have not done a really good roll tonight.

Killing it.

Yeah, you are, you're able to reset the,

you're able to reset the needle and the lock itself

and secure it so that it appears as if

you had just walked in there.

I assume you're getting up and,

everybody's leaving now?

We just, I just-

I really wanna try and open that other drawer,

but- I was just gonna say.

But we got what we came for.

It may be good to take our own note

and not be greedy like the government

they're trying to expose.

Touché.

Yeah.

Buzzkill.

I'm-

Party pooper.

Curious as all get out, don't get me wrong.

Well, next time we break into City Hall,

we'll check in-

When will we have this opportunity again?

Next time we won't be breaking in, I hope.

Alydin just looks confused.

Everybody make an investigation roll

as you are resetting the room.

This is not to necessarily find things,

but to make sure it looks like you,

it was when you came in.

We're never there.

God, fuck me.

22.

Rolled a seven, got a plus four, 11.

Okay.

All in all, everything looks as it was

when you came in.

Bonwyn, as you are thinking about

going for that second lock again

with a different way,

you notice that there's a little bit of wax

that you missed on the first cleanup

and you managed to take that with you.

But everybody else, everything looks fine.

You've, from filtering over the desk,

you've put all the papers back

to where you think they were.

Everything appears to be in good order.

I've scrubbed off the boot print off the desk.

Yeah.

Everything looks as it was when you came in.

You reset the doors as you leave.

You, I guess you probably wouldn't be the ones

to reset the room.

You could delegate that to the security guards

on the way out.

We see you leave the office and walk past the kitchen

and then, Alydin, you double back

to grab a whole bunch of food

and pile it in your bucket.

Oh yeah, that bucket's full.

Okay.

And pockets.

You make your way back out the front

and wave to the security guards who say,

oh, tour all over?

Do you think you're gonna be making it

into City Hall when you grow up?

You know what?

I learned so much about how the government runs

and how good it is to be on top.

It really is, isn't it?

Yeah, that's the best place to be.

Yeah, yeah.

Wow.

Well, smart kids these days.

Who needs school, right?

Right?

Yeah.

Exactly, Darius.

Well, you all have a good night.

We'll go reset your office.

No problem.

Have a good night, everybody.

Give them thank yous, bows, and head on our way.

I almost said, love you, bye.

Cause that was, love you, bye.

I mean, maybe you would say that to Leonard.

Maybe.

Quick footsteps now back down to City Hall.

Not trying to be conspicuous,

but moving fast just in case.

And make your way back down to the fountain

where you are, I guess this is the point

where you can go your separate ways,

but a little check in before you do that.

All right, so I've got what I need.

I'm gonna have to go back to Kingstown

and show this to my bosses.

But it shouldn't be long and I'll probably be back,

I don't know, three or four or five days.

It would be best to get out of town

with those while you can.

Absolutely.

Should we like take copies or something?

Why I'm just wondering, cause you know,

if I've learned anything,

it's that you can't trust the people in power.

And what if they assassinate Kavlaran I.

I mean, I hope not.

Kavlaran how long would it take you

to transcribe one of these books into your own?

You know what, I could get one done tonight for sure.

Would that hold up though?

Oh no, I would take the originals with me

and I'd leave you the copy, just so there was something.

They're gonna need to see these ones.

No point in having a copy if you've got the original

as you're taking it where it needs to go.

What if they're taking money from like Kinney and stuff?

You guys know Kinney, right?

From what I saw, it looks like they're taking money

from everyone.

Yeah, but like, what if we were able to look at it all

and then, you know, and then we know some stuff

because it's important to know stuff.

You know when you know something about somebody

and they don't want anybody else to know that thing,

right?

So they might be more likely to do the thing

that you want them to do or something like that

that I heard other people say that I have never done.

I feel like guys, I don't know the whole plan.

Well, cause we're just making it up as we go.

Yeah.

What?

I mean, now we maybe have proof of the corruption.

Perfect.

Now we get proof of the corruption to the authorities.

What if they take it and they don't do anything?

Then we just gave them all of our stuff.

They'll do something.

They can't let this sort of thing,

now that it's going to be public,

like word will get out.

So they will have to react.

Who are the easiest people to fleece?

The people who wouldn't notice something missing.

And who is that?

Mobility.

The nobles.

The nobles.

Let's see if they've been fleecing the nobles

for anything and then if we can get even,

I mean, cause whether they notice it or not,

they do care about their money.

And if he loses the nobles,

then that in and of itself could be,

you know, a good stepping stone.

Now, listen,

I don't know much,

but what I do know is that

you can't trust people with money.

Wait, did you mean that you can't trust people

as in giving them money,

as in I shouldn't give you money anymore,

or you mean people who-

Or the ones who already have money.

No, you can't keep giving me money.

No, that's not what I meant at all.

But I mean like, those guys across the river,

they know that there are kids like me down here.

And just cause you know about something

doesn't mean you're gonna do anything about it.

So I don't know if,

I hope Kavlarin that you're right,

but how do you know that once you give this over

and that's all you got,

that they're gonna do the thing

you hope they're gonna do?

So are you saying we should

just make the information public?

Maybe?

And put them on blast?

Ooh.

Tell the town criers?

I don't know,

but I think that if you were to just tell

some rich people that other rich people

are being jerks,

they'll be like,

okay.

Okay.

And maybe that makes me a cynical 14 year old.

And maybe I'm jaded.

I don't think you're wrong.

Maybe an aggressive poster campaign

with some very pertinent information on it

would go a long way.

We could make posters.

I've got plenty of parchment back at my shop.

I can summon an extra set of hands

to help us kind of scribe things down

if we want to go that route.

That's very forward.

How about this?

Why don't we just sleep on it?

We've got the books.

Cav, maybe if you don't mind,

go look through them.

Get sort of a general sense of

just how bad it is.

And then we can meet up tomorrow morning

and figure out our plan.

To take down the government.

To take down the government.

That's right, Alydin.

Kavlarne with books in hand going to review,

everybody going to just take the night,

rest,

and come up with a plan on the next morning.

Everybody goes back to their own homes.

We follow Bonwyn back to Everbane's

and you open the door and head in for the night,

closing and locking it behind you.

And there's a few things that Thane hasn't done

because they're your usual activities.

You want to walk us through that a little bit here?

I think that Thane probably goes around

and like, you know, banks all the fires and stuff,

but I just in an excess of caution

after he goes, so he doesn't know.

Just go and double check.

So I just kind of go around

and make sure like everything is safe.

Like this, I live here and there's a lot of fire.

So just want to be extra, extra careful.

Clean up, put away all the tools.

You know, I want a nice, easy morning when I start.

So I'm just kind of like futzing around, you know,

getting everything tidy and sorted out and yeah.

As you finish all these preparations

for what could happen,

you start making your way back upstairs.

And as you hit the top of the stairs,

you hear that same knocking sound

you heard the night before

coming from back down in the shop.

I'm going to come back down the stairs.

On the way, I'm going to grab something as a weapon.

And this is a place where we make weapons.

So you'd think I would grab something good,

but I don't.

Should I grab a butter knife?

Yeah, I just grab like whatever is the closest thing

as I'm like coming down the stairs.

She's like a cocaine-er.

Yeah, exactly.

Like something like that.

On it are the knife wings.

You take those off, cocaine only.

Like a broom handle or something.

You know, something that would just be sitting around

that I grab.

And I kind of go over cautiously

just to listen

and see, yeah, more closely what it sounds like.

You grab that and you come back down.

And as you move back down the stairs,

as quiet as you're trying to be,

the knocking stops until you get down to the bottom

and stop and listen.

And right at the spot where the desk has been pushed

and everything has been piled on top,

there's that same knocking

that's getting heavier.

She yells, not today, Satan, and goes back to bed.

Not today, Satan.

I think I feel pretty safe

because there's all that stuff on top of it, right?

So I'm not gonna start moving that stuff or anything.

I don't feel that safe.

But I could at least get a little nearer

and say, what do you want?

And feeling pretty dumb

because I think it's probably some kind of wild creature

that's not gonna answer me.

As you say that, the sound stops

and it's eerily silent in your shop.

And it is dark, so I'm just standing there.

My eyes are so wide

because you know when you're trying to hear in the dark

and for some reason you open your eyes really wide,

I'm like not moving.

You hear a long drawn out scratching sound

coming up from beneath the table,

which is followed by another bout of silence.

And then there's a huge thud coming up from it

that shakes everything on top of the table.

Run, bitch.

I feel like I'm over here watching a movie

being like, don't go down there.

Don't go in there.

Don't run out the stairs.

That's right, run out the front door.

Luckily I'm still dressed and everything.

I just went upstairs.

So I'm gonna stop, look at my hand

where I'm holding something useless,

throw it away, grab something that's actually a weapon

because again, there's like a million things laying around

and leave.

Like I'm going somewhere.

And honestly, I don't know if at this point

I even know where I'm going

because I know there's tunnels all around the town.

So I don't know where I'm gonna go to feel safe

because this is where I feel safe.

So maybe the guard house.

As you're looking at the broom,

the thudding starts up again

in intensity and repetitiveness.

As you're grabbing all these things

to rush out of the space and you've got a weapon

and you've got something to defend yourself,

you see that the anvil that's on top

is beginning to wobble from the strength of these hits

that are happening beneath the door.

We see you run out into the street

heading to the guard house.

As the door shuts, the thudding stops

and this anvil is rocking back and forth

until it tumbles to the ground.

Dumbgeons and Dragons season three, episode 25.

That's the season finale.

Starring Amy More as Alydin,

Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane,

Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave,

Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard,

and Russ More as your dungeon master.

Dialogue editing by Carla Maxted

and sound design by Russ More.

This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound

and Slipstream and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,

Boom Library and Sound Ideas.

Our amazing cover art and character designs

are by Matt Garbutt and a huge thank you

to our supporting producers,

Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak,

Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,

Christian Brown, Ongorong Kiersen,

Perry Matey, Craig Zeiss,

Old School Gamer D, LA Branton and Sarah Murphy.

Yes, the season's over,

but we'll be back in September with new episodes

and throughout the summer,

we'll be releasing mini episodes

that happen in Vintersmouth before the events of tonight.

So keep an eye out for those in the main feed.

And if you want more of us throughout the summer,

well, we invite you to come over to Patreon,

patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.

We have five seasons of The Adventures Of.

We'll be catching up on cyberpunk red

and getting that out to our patrons.

We have down times,

we have the community over on Discord.

We have so many things

that are just waiting for you over there.

And we hope to see you very, very soon.

Again, patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.

Have a great summer.

Bye for now.

It's one of those things

where you have to shrink your bones.

And that's where we'll cut the cold open.

Horrified face on Alydin.

Terrible.

Gosh.

It's a little bone shrinking.

Don't worry about it.

Sorry, don't do it.

It's not worth it.

Yeah, it's part of the illusion, you know.

Like, it's an illusion,

but like your bones feel the illusion.

So, you know.

It's magic to everyone else.

It's just agony to you.

Yeah.

Nina.

Did we give Nina a last name?

Probably did.

Don't think so.

I don't remember.

Nienersen.

I don't recall.

Give me.

Niener, niener, niener.

That's what the kids called her at school.

And that's why she helped shut them down.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's right.

Yeah, absolutely.

That's makes sense.

What's that school?

Right?

Hurt people, hurt people.

On the page.

Nope.

Just Nina.

So, all.

Maybe it's like Madonna.

It's just.

I mean, yeah.

You can just say the name Madonna.

It's just Nina.

Nina Madonna.

Nina Madonna.

There it is.

That's what it says.

Mayoral assistant, Nina Madonna.

And I assume.

Is her name Nina Cher Madonna?

Or perhaps Nina Shakira Madonna?

Ooh, good question.

Well, I believe it would be Shakira Shakira

if it was.

It would be Shakira Shakira.

Hey, did we just walk past the guards

and come floor and just had like three big ledgers?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

High school.

He does paperwork.

Just a small, yeah, circular.

Like someone took like a toothpick and went, yeah.

Perhaps.

Yeah, that would be a good description of it.

Wait, is it cake?

It's cake.

It's cake.

Is it done?

God damn it, Russ.

This whole time it's just been cake.

This whole time it's just been cake.

Gotcha.

Season over.

Is cake or not cake?

Or is it cake?

There's a show.

Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.