DUMBGEONS & DRAGONS

Season 3 • June 05, 2024

Scratches Under the Floorboards

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Hey, psst, Dumbgeons and Dragons starts in just a second.

There's the jingle of a bell as a customer leaves.

Bizard, you're behind the register and you reach into your pocket and there's a quick reminder of where you were the night before.

You don't have long to think about it though as Alydin runs up beside you.

Um, hey, do you got a second? Just right now, just a little moment.

Yeah, Alydin, what's going on?

Well, I was just wondering because we started talking about it before and you mentioned something about a weave

and then something about like there's a price to pay and like, and you know,

I know this isn't like formal kind of like school and stuff, but I'm real keen to know.

Yeah.

Everything about magic, everything.

Every, I mean, I wouldn't even dare to say I know even a quarter of the things there is to know about magic.

It's one of those mysterious things that you always kind of follow and chase

and hope that you can glimpse it through the mirage that it presents itself through,

which speaking of a mirage, the weave in and of itself is sort of something that you can only see at certain points.

But just because you can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there and isn't able to be manipulated.

You know how on a hot day you can take a fan and kind of fan yourself off, right?

Yeah.

See, that's kind of you affecting the air around you to create a sensory effect.

Um, certain sensory effects that can be made can be imparted upon objects.

Say you were to borrow an essence of the weave and pull essentially light out of the weave,

like a source of light from magic and imbue it into an object for, say, maybe money?

If you've ever done that?

Well, I don't get what you mean.

Alydin just like kind of holds like intense eye contact.

Do you want to learn about magic or do you want to lie?

I would prefer to do both.

Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast

and I'm your dungeon master Russ More he-him.

Also with me today is Amy More as Alydin she-her.

With this key I can come in if the door is locked.

Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane she-her.

Like, is there a bear in the tunnel?

And Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard he-him.

Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm one of the mayor's advisors.

Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast where you can get a 7-day free trial

if you sign up today at patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast.

Now fuck it, let's play!

Alright.

A little bit.

Cause li-listen, lying has kept me and the kids safe for a long time.

Alydin, are you living here?

No.

Alydin, did you just take the bread from those-those buns-toe?

No.

I can respect that.

There's nothing wrong with a-a lie if it serves you and serves the ones you care about.

So, I can respect that.

How about, okay, I won't lie to you.

That works for me, if it works for you, of course.

As far as this exchange that we have going on, um, I'm gonna be honest and forthright.

So, I feel like it is only a fair exchange if you do the same in this regard.

I'm not asking you to spill everything about your whereabouts,

where you go after the store, before the store.

As long as whatever you do outside of that doesn't make its way through the door,

we're gonna be okay.

But you can always come to me if something does happen and you need to.

I know you're-I know you're capable.

But if you need to, you come here.

I pull out an extra key and I put it on the desk.

Alydin's eyes are like dinner plates, like deer in headlights.

I don't think she's ever touched a key that she hadn't stolen off of somebody for some reason.

And she just stares from the key, up to you, back to the key.

Pushes it forward.

I'm trusting you.

So, like, with this key, I can come in if the door is locked?

That's correct.

Now, of course, I'll know, but it is for you to use.

Oh. Okay. Thanks.

And she takes the key and she takes a piece of yarn out of her bucket

and snakes it through the hole in the key and ties it onto the handle of her bucket,

but obviously not hanging out of the bucket, inside the bucket.

I'll keep it real safe. I won't come in here and do weird stuff.

I don't think that needed to be said, but okay.

Well, you kids say the wildest things.

You've never worked with kids before, have you?

No, I don't even think I necessarily was one.

But, you know, that's my own doing.

So this is going to be very interesting for me.

But anyway, so about that light being imbued into an item, per se,

I noticed the coin that I gave you to get some coffee and pastry from those buns dough.

They kind of lit up a little bit on your way out.

Oh, did they?

That just kind of sometimes like sometimes money is just shiny, I think.

Okay. The connection to money, what does it make you feel?

Well, probably the same thing that most people feel and because everybody wants it.

Right? So like money is like, you know, you're safe and you're full.

And that that would make anybody happy. So I guess money would make me happy.

Money would solve lots of my problems. I do think so.

I agree with you in the sense of security. Money brings security.

Now, for certain political figures, money brings them power.

While it is happiness, you could you could reduce it down to happiness.

You need to find out what is the most salient point that you are connecting to,

because that is the thing that will draw you closer to the weave.

When you feel safe and secure, when you feel like you can provide,

maybe that's maybe that's what you need to focus on in those moments.

And when you are trying to grasp at the weave.

But how do I know when I'm trying to grasp at the weave?

At Everbane's, we hear heavy steps coming down some stairs.

And Bonwyn is stepping into the open space, feeling a little worse for Rare.

Having been out late last night with Neven, taking in some of the nobles parties.

But not only the festivities, once you returned home,

there was a noise that seemed to be keeping you up all night.

Sounded like at some points scratching in the floors,

like a knocking sound that came throughout the night.

And be it the state you were in or others, you didn't really get up to try and find it.

But now that you're up and ready for the day,

you're extra sluggish because of the lack of sleep due to this.

So as you enter, Thane is just getting on their gear for the day

and they see you out of the corner of their eye and they say,

Oh, did you have fun last night?

Yes, costume party was a success.

Well, I mean, heard stories down at the shop.

Yeah, I can tell by the way or the face you're making at me.

I got you. I got you this passes you a coffee and a muffin.

You're the best.

Oh, yeah, we were out kind of late.

And then I don't know, there was something going on here.

I was hearing like a weird sound and I couldn't get to sleep.

But I also, you know, when you're just like too tired.

Yeah, I don't. It'll go away.

It's fine.

So I didn't check it out.

So it's not those kids again, is it?

Well, I don't know. I thought I'd check that first, but I don't think so.

Like, I know Alydin now it'd be weird, I think,

if she was like trying to sneak in that way again.

But I don't know. Can you help me move the?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

And we'll just double double check.

Two of you push the crate that you were the crater,

the table that you had previously put to stop Alydin from coming through that way.

You move it off and you see the door there and Thane lifts it,

allowing you access to to see down in.

It's a from from the surface.

It's it's a shadowy tunnel.

There's a little stepladder that goes down into it.

You know, it'd be a comfortable fit for you.

Probably a considerably tighter fit for Thane, who's much taller than you are.

Let's make an investigation roll.

Oh, not great. I am tired.

That's an eight with bonus.

You're looking down into it like nothing's clicking with you.

You put your hand on the back of the doors.

You're trying to lean down without actually going in.

And you feel on the underside of the door.

There's scratch marks.

Oh, oh, sorry.

Oh, oh, what is it?

And I'm kind of like a bit hunched over, right?

Because I'm leaning down and just not even standing up,

but just moving my hand up the trap door.

Like, oh, again, just like if I ignore it, maybe it won't be there, Thane.

Mm hmm.

You see this? You feel this?

He leans over the door a little bit more to get a better look at what you see.

And yeah, that looks.

Yeah, that wasn't kids.

No, it doesn't look like kids doesn't look like it.

That's those are some large scratch.

Like, that's a big tool or kind of like holds up their hand.

Like, that's something big.

Yeah, I don't even know what this could be.

Like, is there a bear in the tunnel?

That can't be.

I oh, yeah, no.

I mean, we just maybe there is a bear.

Good thing the kids didn't find the bear.

Do we want to close it?

Oh, yeah, let's close it.

Great idea.

Let's close that.

Move the table.

I'm going to just you know, that small anvil that I use.

Let's maybe just get that on the table.

Let's just.

OK, there's been a lot of talk about like noises coming from below.

I don't know if you heard the criers there the last few nights,

but like people have been saying like they're hearing things.

And if you're hearing things, then.

Yeah, I mean, they don't even probably know about the tunnel.

So nobody else would have thought to look there.

I mean, how big did you say those goblins were?

Oh, no, no.

No.

No, no, no.

Not I mean, maybe three of them in a trench coat with like some

knife fingers like that I made, you know, but otherwise, no, no, no, no.

And I mean, those weren't that that wasn't made by like something

that I would have made.

That seemed it's rough.

That was claws.

That seemed organic.

OK, do we call animal control?

I think I think we got to go find days or somebody like we got to

show them what we've seen and maybe there's a connection they can

use it as an access point and we can just shut it up behind them or maybe

they can find another one.

I don't know. Where's that kid?

The kid knows how to get in there, right?

I know, but we can't tell date, right?

Yeah.

OK, let me just go upstairs.

I need to grab something before we go.

But then by then I'm going to have drank this coffee and I'm going to be

10 out of 10.

We can go talk to days.

We'll be right back.

It's the middle.

Welcome to the middle, everybody.

What's up?

Wow.

Couldn't couldn't help myself.

Came in came in real hot there.

Sorry.

I'll always have your back.

Thank you.

I know.

It's actually it was quite romantic, you guys.

Yeah, it's really good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's nice.

That's what you have to aspire to everybody.

That's right.

Yep.

Yep.

This is the bar.

If you're supposed to make a weird bad dated reference.

Just you do it.

Double down on it.

Yeah.

Thank you for doing that, sweetheart.

You're welcome.

Love that.

We're.

I don't know how to get out of this.

We're trapped.

We're trapped in this.

We're trapped in the 90s.

Let me out of the stated reference.

Oh, God.

Dude, where's my car?

Sweet.

Oh, no.

But what does mine say?

Sweet.

Dude.

OK.

Let's start again.

Welcome back, everybody to the middle.

This is the part.

We're keeping the first one.

Oh, of course we are.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, we're just segueing into this new intro for it.

Welcome back to the real middle.

Ah, yes.

That was just the test middle.

Yeah.

We're just testing the ground, seeing how you liked it.

Loved it.

Leave us.

Hit that like, comment, subscribe button.

Smash that like button.

Drag it straight over to the trash can.

Do it.

Five star review.

Yeah.

Thank you.

I'm not participating in this part.

Oh, come on.

I'll was up.

Hey, if you like that was up reference, you should join us on Patreon.

There's lots more where that came from.

Oh, yeah.

So much more where that came from.

Carla's just holding her face in her hands now.

I don't know if it's because of that or because of just being tired.

But like, we're going to try and wrap it up here.

All put together.

Yep.

So join us at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast where when you are a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you.

Like today's patron, Laura.

Laura.

Laura.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Laura.

What's up?

What's up?

Also, I'm sorry, Laura.

We love you.

Yeah.

Also, I hope Laura is older than, like, twenty seven and will maybe understand that reference.

Or maybe even way older than that.

I don't know how old that reference is.

I don't know.

Thirty five and up then.

That makes more sense.

If you've seen a scary movie that is a step before.

So, like, maybe mid twenties.

You know what?

Laura's been with us for a long time.

They know what we've got, what we're dealing out.

OK.

All right.

Fair enough.

Not a new, not a new patron.

A long time patron.

So thank you for being here with us.

Thanks for sticking it out, Laura.

Yep.

Yes.

And if you just forgot and the credit card just keeps racking up.

This is your reminder.

This is your reminder that you're still paying.

This conversation never happened.

Never happened.

All right.

We thank you for being here with us and hope that you are having a wonderful week ahead and we can't wait to talk to you again very, very soon.

So bye.

Bye. Bye.

We love you.

That's the middle.

That's the middle.

That was it.

We love you.

Strong discount.

We sure do.

Hop off that horse.

Love you.

Bye.

Love you guys.

Bye.

We're back in the shop and you've moved on from the conversation.

Alydin, you're busy unloading some boxes that Bizard has you working on.

And Bizard clock chimes on the far wall and your focus turns to it.

And we find ourselves the night before down in the basement of the casino.

You just entering through the door and you hear a bell of a of a game being played.

Somebody has just won something big that that transitions into the door shuts behind you.

Before you is a large oak desk in the middle of this rather luxurious space and a tall leather chair with a figure sitting there.

He's got his back turned to you and there's a glowing red aura coming up from the other side.

There's a puff of smoke as a large hand comes down over the arm of the chair and in it is a rather fat cigar that as you watch it,

you see the ember of the end of the cigar illuminate more as if somebody's lighting it.

Nothing and there's no no ignition source near it.

It's just being held in this person's hand.

Then a deep booming voice echoes out still hasn't turned around.

So, Bizard, you want to make a move on the mayor?

You've heard correctly.

Have a seat.

You see in front of you there are two chairs.

I sit on the left chair.

Oh, that's the one with the trap door and the alligators in the pit.

You sit down and the cigar goes back behind the chair and a big plume of smoke again.

What's your issue with the current leadership?

To put it bluntly, they're bad at business.

From my side, I get left alone.

I get a little kickback.

Business is good for me.

A disruption in that could could change my business.

It's interesting. If you're getting a kickback, then I assume Nina would be the one giving you that kickback, correct?

Yeah, I see Nina every now and again.

It's more to keep us happy.

If we're happy, mayors happy.

Right.

Well, I'll have to admit there's not quite a lot I know about your operation in conjunction with the current office.

But I assume that there has to be some form of a gap that you would like to see filled, something that you've had to make some kind of compromise, I imagine.

But what if that compromise no longer had to be made by ousting the current political figure?

You're not wrong.

You're not wrong.

There's a certain entitlement that comes on that side of the river. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

Yes, become familiar with it.

It's a long pause.

You're in tight with them, aren't you?

Yeah, I'm one of the mayor's advisors.

As far as that goes, it is something I do for my own benefit and not truly for the benefit of the office.

Stroking egos, if you will. I've had to do it a lot in my life.

You know, I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be doing it sort of right now.

However, I feel like I need to stroke the ego of the person that can best serve me and, well, the people who have taken care of me and, well, I mean, the rest of the town, truly.

Obviously the ego I've been stroking for going on almost a decade, I would imagine, hasn't quite panned out the way I expect it to.

Well, Mr. Wizard.

Please, Mr. Wizard is my father. Call me Bizard.

There's a substantial issue if what you wish for, somebody were to enact a series of events and those events don't go entirely correctly and anything comes back to me.

The protections that I have on this side of the city might disappear.

How far are you willing to go?

Because don't get me wrong.

I want what's best for the city.

This fucker up in City Hall, he isn't the best for anybody.

Yeah, he's fucking it up for the people that's in the streets.

As far as I would go, how far would I go?

I mean, certainly the cost of learning magic in and of itself has been a sacrifice, so what's one more thing?

If a fall guy is what you're asking for, then a fall guy you shall have.

But I'm the only one who can fall.

No one else, regardless of what they may know or what they may have done aiding me.

Because I will rally support, I will rally help from the other business owners, from people I have become acquainted with and made friends with.

I will be your fall guy if you make sure that I'm the only one who takes that plunge.

It's very noble of you.

You hear the sound of a drawer, and you can kind of see a little bit around.

It's reaching to a unit on the other side of the wall there.

Can't see what he pulls up, but then the drawer slides closed.

The chair swivels around.

As the camera, we don't see the figure still.

We just see Bizarre seated in his chair, now illuminated by this glowing red-orange light.

And a large gray hand slides a velvet pouch across the table towards you.

It lets it go and lets it linger there.

I reach out and take it.

That's the answer.

You do that, I can put any number of things into play.

I kind of open it for a second and rifle through.

Oh, that's, that's big, that's big crime.

Ok, ok, oh.

Alright, um.

Any, any clarifications you'd like, you'd like to make?

I mean, that's just the first page.

Uh, ok.

Everything is outlined.

Oh, except for this.

On the card you see this man, Kenny, reach into a breast pocket and this jacket he's wearing.

Puts down a small glass vial that appears to have a liquid in it.

Uh, is that, is that meant if things go wrong for me or if things go right for Knops?

I'll figure out what to do with it, I guess, huh?

Just silently stares at you and just nods.

Yeah, yeah.

I'll be in touch in a couple days.

He turns his chair back around and see him reach for another cigar.

I, uh, stand up and I say, well, uh, Mr. Flames, it's, hopefully it'll be a pleasure doing business with you.

Uh, and I cast control flame to bring a light over from a candle and light a cigar as I walk out.

You're a chuckle as you shut the door behind you.

The echoing din of the casino rings back into your ears and we flash back to the store.

Alydin looking up at you with an empty box in her hand.

Are you ok?

Hmm.

Uh, yeah, yeah, um, you've finished unpacking that.

Ok, uh, what time is it?

You've been standing there for like a long time looking at the clock and stuff and just kind of like you're frozen.

And then that reminded me of this one guy who stayed with us for a little while.

His name, it doesn't matter what his name was.

You'll probably never meet him again anyway.

Um, but this guy used to just kind of like turn off.

Like, he'd be like, ooo, and then he would be gone for like 20 minutes.

I thought that was happening.

I thought you had what he has.

Um, are you talking about narcolepsy?

I don't think it had anything to do with dead people.

Dumbgeons and Dragons Season 3 Episode 22 starring Amy More as Alydin.

Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everpain.

Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave.

Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard.

And Russ More as your Dungeon Master.

Dialogue Editing by Carla Maxted and Sound Design by Russ More.

This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and Slipstream.

And sound effects from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.

Our amazing cover art and character designs are by Matt Garbutt.

And a huge thank you to our supporting producers.

Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak, Kat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Christian Brown,

Ongeron Kiersen, Perry Matey, Craig Zeiss, Old School Gamer D,

L.A. Branton, Nathaniel Teeter, and Aaron.

Join us today at patreon.com slash dumbdragoncasts.

You get an episode dedication as well as a whole bunch of amazing bonus content.

We've got Tom running The Adventures of, we've got Kyle running Cyberpunk Red,

we've got so many things for you, including the amazing Discord community.

So many amazing people having so much fun playing Baldur's Gate 3.

There's groups going on there, having run throughs and play.

I wish I was playing Baldur's Gate 3.

Maybe I'll try and do that now.

Have a great week. We'll talk to you soon.

We hear the sound of the bell at the Magic Closet as a customer leaves.

And Bizard, you're standing behind the desk,

putting the money into the register that you just earned from this transaction.

Can you just explain stored?

Customer leaves.

Did Amy have an edible tonight?

What's going on?

There's no way it's kicked in yet though.

I don't know, my friend.

You're a little extra silly right now.

What you just described, like a shopping experience.

I'm going to do better.

He's going to do it exactly the same.

There's a jingle at the door again. Not even.

Don't want to jingle the door too much.

It's really a mimic.

How much can I be making here?

Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.