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Previously, on Dumptions and Dragons.
Vafreet, hey, friend, I brought some people here, they're looking for a person, maybe
you might have heard, I thought you mentioned the name.
I think we've decided that we'd like the information about Thelonious and we're
willing to carry your valuable package for you.
Ah, Thelonious, okay, Thelonious, I heard it a few times through some different
market channels of folks looking for bits and bobs.
Last I heard, the hand of Yartar was doing business with him.
So he's going to take the packages and put them in his bag and then he's going
to draw his greatsword.
So what's the plan here?
You're going to swing your sword around, knock us out, maybe take us out, you
know, there's somebody else in line.
But you're standing right in front of me and I don't like you very much.
I'm going to swing it up.
Your boss is right.
When this is all over, someone will have to take over.
If it's someone who does it the way we like it, I'd very carefully consider
your next action.
It could be you.
So taking the information you got from Vafreet, you make your way down
hopping caravans until you reach a guide to take you up the River Desserin.
You dock in the city's small port and make your way through the bustling
city until you find the tavern, wink and a kiss.
We're looking for someone named Thelonious, Prim's something.
Prim's friend? Prim's gown?
Her smile disappears.
You mean Thelonious Prim's Bay?
Oh, that was way off.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
He-Him.
Also with me today is Tom Laird.
He-Him.
I am playing Perseus.
He is a lightfoot halfling warlock who also goes by He-Him.
And Carla Maxted.
She-her.
I am playing Lexington, a human fighter slash pAlydin, He-Him.
And joining us again this week from The Crit Show, our good buddy Rev.
Hey, I am He-Him and I am here as Margaret Broadcloak, the Betty White monster hunter,
she-her.
I love Margaret because she just brings reason to every situation.
Episode, Lex starts swinging swords.
You're like, you could run this organization, young man.
Yeah, it's good because Lex is, I mean, Lex and Perseus, I don't want to speak
for Tom.
We're very new to the world.
Sure.
So I don't think we have a lot of good reasoning skills or, yeah, we need an adult.
Yeah, Margaret's like that guiding hand for us and it's very needed.
Yeah.
It is just, Arvid has been in the world, but in his own world also, so.
Yeah.
Yeah, Arvid means well.
Yeah.
He's got a heart of gold, but terrifying spells.
Yeah, that one was creepy.
Yeah.
Like maybe, yeah, the downtime after this one, after this episode, I'll tell you
some of the other spells because there's a couple other good ones that maybe we'll
see, maybe we won't.
So we'll get into that.
That's the tease.
We have downtime episodes.
When you join us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, where we talk about the
episode, break it down, come up with what we did wrong and then do a better next
time.
Hilarious.
Oh, that's never happened.
That's never happened.
We mostly just talk about what goofs we made and then go on from there.
So you can join us Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast and you also get an episode
dedicated to you when you are a patron.
Today's patron, Wilfred Gaube.
Thanks Wilfred.
Thank you, Wilfred.
Thanks Wilfred.
We appreciate you.
We do appreciate you.
We think you're great.
Join us today at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast and now fuck it, let's play.
You're seated in Uzumaki's office, hickory and orange, filling your senses as she
reveals to you Thelonious Prim's full name, Thelonious Primsbane.
What could you four want with Thelonious Primsbane?
I kind of just look over at Lex like.
I think he knows something about me and I don't know enough about myself.
So I'm searching for him.
She looks at you.
Are there any scars visible?
On me?
On you?
Yeah, I think so.
I mean, I am wearing like adventurous clothes.
I'm pretty covered, you know, neck to wrists to ankles.
But I think I am very gray and mottled looking still.
And probably you can see some scarring like coming up alongside my jaw.
Right.
Because I'm not wearing a full turtleneck or scarf or anything.
So you can see some some scarring on my neck.
She looks you over and says, well, that makes sense.
I guess Primsbane is a is a bad man.
You know, you know that much.
Like I hope it's not some family reunion that you're looking for here.
No, I wouldn't.
I wouldn't say that.
I think he has destroyed my chances for any kind of family reunion.
Yeah.
He's done that for a few people.
So you do know him?
I've done business with him for quite a while.
And that's the only reason that I believe I'm still allowed to be doing business is
that I have accommodated him in his requests.
Does he operate in this city then?
No.
This is your city, isn't it?
Is this your organization?
Do you?
Is my organization?
Yes.
We don't yet have the power to control large swaths of the city.
While she's been talking, she reaches into just slowly and cautiously reaches into
her desk and pulls out a small purse and slides it across the desk to you.
It kind of ushers to it and marks off in her book again, Thelonious comes and goes.
And when he goes, leaves destruction in his wake.
The most recent was an attack on Mirabar.
I think all of you would have at least heard of Mirabar.
Margaret and Arvid for sure would know Mirabar as like the main dwarven like stronghold.
He raised an undead army that rivaled the acts of Mirabar.
The acts of Mirabar being the main force of the dwarven army, one of the most revered
in dwarven culture.
It came out of nowhere and he controlled everyone within city limits.
We still don't know how he did it.
He was able to turn living people undead almost with like a snap of his fingers.
He was driven off by the decimators of dragons before they got rid of Tiamat.
He's popped up a few times with me searching for parts.
And she kind of ushers towards the ice elemental on your desk and says, that's
not for him.
But similar parts are what he comes and looks for.
He's been quiet for the last few months, which is concerning for a man like him.
You want to find him, yes?
Yes, I want to find him.
I want to stop him.
Are you bringing an army?
When I look side to side at my friends, well, just this small group.
Okay, what do you want from me?
Well, I want to know where he is.
And I suppose I want to know if there are any allies to be found since he's raising
undead armies to fight the acts of Mirabar.
Perhaps the four of us are not enough.
Um, yeah.
Allies, you know, the four of you might just be the craziest idea, but he might
not see it coming.
You see her go into like deep thought.
He says, I, there are a couple of places he could be.
One, there is an entrance to the Underdark in the city of Neverwinter.
There's a, well, if you go there, you will have to go into the Underdark.
You'll have to trudge through and hopefully keep your sanity and selves as you try to
find him.
Well, that one, that one sounds pretty scary.
Well, the other option isn't a lot better.
The other one is closer.
It's further up the river that you may have seen or come in on.
It leads up into the Lost Peaks, where you'll be met with a guardian of the gates that
hold back anybody that Thelonious Primsbane does not want entering.
The guardian is a black dragon named Mordegim.
So we've got maybe going crazy in this Underdark or a black dragon.
These seem like bad options.
Thelonious is not a good option.
You had said that there's a chance that he wouldn't be expecting it from a group
like us.
Do you have any sense of this guardian?
Is it able to let him know when people try to enter?
Does that make the Underdark the better option?
The dragon controls a region of approximately six miles around its lair.
Anything that happens within that lair, the dragon knows about.
What its direct connection to Thelonious is, I can't tell you, but not...
I can tell you that nobody has made it past the dragon.
If you are to go to the Underdark, there are all manners of creatures and drow and
whatever Thelonious has been lying in wait with.
I know the history of the Hand.
I realize that what we're talking about is a costly gamble, but I imagine that
without Thelonious here, you might feel a large weight off of your shoulders.
Is there anyone in your guild that has had dealings with the Underdark that might
be able to escort us?
The Underdark seems like a fantastic place to find unexpected riches.
I can't imagine you haven't heard of a few thieves coming in and out of there.
There aren't many who have ventured far into the Underdark within our guild.
We do have a contact in Neverwinter that goes there regularly, who may be willing,
for the right price, to take you down there.
I turn in and look at Lex.
I think ultimately this is your decision, but I have to say that between myself and
Arvid, at least, we're far more equipped to deal with the things in the Underdark.
I've never fought a dragon, at least not one that large.
I'm not quite sure I want to start now unless we're sure we could do it.
Yeah, I got to say, I think I agree with Margaret, dragon seems like a lot.
Yes, I agree, a dragon, a six mile radius, sneaking.
I think if a small group can do it, it can only be by subterfuge and there's no subterfuge
when you're fighting a dragon.
That's embroidered on one of the quilts in my old home.
So I don't relish the idea of the Underdark, but I also don't fear death and the undead,
as most creatures do, being familiar with it.
Who is this contact in Neverwinter?
It's a gnome who goes by the name of Budig.
We've done business with him for a while.
He gets us goods from his travels down there, components for various clients, travels down
there quite regularly, was in pretty tight with Vafreet.
So maybe we won't mention the thing.
Maybe not.
Maybe we don't lead with it.
Is there anything you need from us for sharing this information?
If you do it, I mean, that's payment enough.
But if you don't, he can't know that I helped you.
Of course not, of course not.
Probably a good time to mention I've already forgotten what your name was.
Prims Blossom.
I see what you did there.
Who's got the list?
I guess me.
I mean, one of the names mentioned, Mordekim, jumps out as kind of sparks to you as part
of that name is on that list.
Right.
Yeah.
So maybe I'll pull that out, you know, while we've got a knowledgeable person here.
This is the list of the people we're looking for and Thelonious is at the top
of that list and you've helped us with that and it looks like Mordekim is probably there
as well.
I think we know who VAR is.
Do you recognize this other name?
I don't recognize that name.
I mean, this has to be Mordekim.
If this is Thelonious Primsbane, obviously.
Mordekim makes sense.
I don't recognize VAR, but if you say you know who it is, then no, I don't recognize
nobody that I've dealt with.
Well, then I guess we just need to say thank you and I'll take that coin purse that she
handed across the desk earlier as payment for the packages.
You know, we need money.
Just because we're on a mission of righteousness doesn't mean we don't have to eat and
stay at Inns.
Well, it's been an absolute pleasure chatting with you.
If there's anything else you need on your way out, Pia will lead you out and get you
many food.
Stay the night.
We'll take care of you.
I think just getting a sense of her.
Margaret stands up and thinks back to our short time with Vafreet.
We had mentioned that Vafreet's location is under new management.
I think it's your management.
Perhaps I will help you a little bit securing the city.
Make sure everyone's well fed and rested.
You've come with very interesting news today, friends.
Who are you?
Us?
Just four random strangers that no one thought could pull it off.
You're led back down the hallways and back out into the main tavern area.
She sits you down at the table, brings you the menu, says anything is taken care of.
Lex, you look into the purse, or if you look into the purse, I guess.
Sure.
Just spiders.
Jingle dangles.
Take that, Vafreet.
That's the usual payment of spiders.
And you find 25 platinum coins.
What do you say?
We enjoy our meal here, and then we look for a way to do some good deeds with all
this money we've come into.
That's not a bad idea.
But perhaps set a little aside, we might want to do a bit of research of the Underdark
to see if there are special supplies we might need.
Absolutely, and it sounds like we'll probably need to pay this booted character to take
us down there.
But a small little splurge of good deeds before we leave town could be just the
thing before heading into the Underdark.
I couldn't agree more.
I think it's a great idea.
So what are causes close to your heart?
Me personally, any time there's a underfunded orphanage, I always like to make sure everyone
has enough to eat and a safe place to sleep.
I was going to say let's get freaky, but it seems out of place right now.
Well, especially after that answer.
Yeah, no, I should have gone first.
I hesitated.
My bad.
We'll pretend I didn't.
I'll say mine last.
No, it's fine.
I like this this wordplay that we have here where I was going to say something
sex related and you said for the kids.
Perseus?
Well, if there's any like hobby farms or anything, maybe like some some artisan type
deals with maybe cheese, I don't know, could be anything.
Maybe we could help them out.
Yes.
Yes, I love it.
We can support local artisans.
We can help an orphanage.
I would love to find someone helping animals.
Perseus got me through the worst times in my life as my best friend, the rat,
and I feel like animals really offer something to the world.
And then if we have energy, whatever Arvid thinks we should do.
Oh, yes.
Don't get me wrong.
I mean, once the artisan cheeses are had and the children are fed and everyone's
got a place to sleep, well, let's fucking get freaky real work hard, play hard
kind of situation.
Oh, yeah.
It's not the years, it's the mileage.
I'm only twenty nine.
OK, so we're looking for an orphanage, blah, blah, blah.
We go to an orphanage.
We support some artisans and then Arvid, we support, we support some artisan
orphans. We got our wires crossed a little bit.
OK, well, we fast forward through you finding the local, the Yarder Orphanage
and donating some money.
You see children crying and happy and gleeful.
You see the head nun thankful and gifts you something.
No, it doesn't gift you anything. That would be weird.
Thank you for this transaction.
She gives you a child.
The opposite of what we wanted.
Yeah, we're going in the underdark here.
We're perfect family. Yep.
You go to the Yarder furry farm.
No. We haven't.
No, Arvid's thing is last.
I said the Yarder animal shelter.
Mm hmm.
And there's a lot of there's a lot of dogs and cats and goats and a small rodent
section, mice and rats.
And they are very supportive.
And then you each find a local artisan who you choose to donate some money to.
Which artisan do you find?
Well, Perseus finds the local cheesemonger, the cheese head.
Yes, cheese head farms.
Yeah, that's the one.
It's a it's a small place.
You know, they have one cheese hopper in the back.
There's a little jingle on the bell as you enter.
There's one woman and one man behind the desk.
Man's reading the newspaper.
A woman calls you in and says, hey, come in.
What can I do for you?
Good, sir.
So we just stop by to sample some of your wares and see how business has been.
Well, business has been good.
It's a little slow right now.
It's been tough to tough to tough to source, you know, enough material.
But at the same time, when we get too much, some of it goes bad because we
only have the one hopper in the back.
Oh, sorry, I don't mean to dump that on you.
What what can I do for you?
You need some cheese here.
Take take some take some of this.
It's one of our finest Gruyères.
Ooh, love a good Gruyere.
Thank you.
So you were saying about your too much supply, but not enough supply.
And sometimes there's.
You can tell I really know how a cheese business works by all of the
intricacies I've put into, you know, what goes into it.
Yes, yes.
So if you were to need more equipment, sounded like that was kind of the way.
Would you just have to sell more cheese to make that happen?
Or how would you go about making that happen?
Well, that's how business works.
You sell goods for profit, save profit, grow business.
Well, I'm learning.
So let me write this down.
Yep.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Eventually you grow to a size that is sustainable in and of itself.
And cheese can be had by all.
Take down the big cheese, you know.
Well, I really like that sentiment of cheese had by all.
That is right up my alley.
Well, I recently came into some money and I'm trying to decide what to do
with it, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted it.
You just you just want to give us money.
Well, I mean, this Gruyere is delicious and I feel like more people
should have access to it.
What kind of secret millionaire are you?
The best kind of former rat.
There's a lot to unpack there.
Yes, I know.
It's very confusing for a lot of people.
But here's the deal.
If you think this will help you supply cheese to the masses,
then I'm happy to help you.
I think it would.
What is your name, good sir?
Perseus.
Well, with this amount of money, we could buy two more hoppers.
And that means more cheese for the people.
And that means more cheese for the people.
See, I'm learning.
I'm learning since I've been here.
You've got it.
Well, with that, we could sell so much more cheese and you, Perseus.
Well, I could offer you nothing but but cheese for future future visits.
And any time you you come in, cheese is on the house.
Well, I mean, that's very kind of you.
And it's exactly what I was hoping for.
Not exactly the most selfless task here, but.
I like and Perseus have a little cheese out of the deal.
Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka.
Begins breaking down in tears over the cheese
hoppers that could be had.
And you two discuss cheese all the afternoon.
The live long day.
We cut to Lex.
So I have found a jeweler.
Yeah, you find Ruby's jewels.
A small older woman comes out from the back and she's got like these, you know,
the tiny magnifying glass glasses just on the edge of her nose.
And she comes out from the back and says, yes, I'll be with you in a minute.
And she kind of you hear some stumbling around at the back and she comes out and says,
what can I do for you, sir?
Hello, I'm looking for something.
Something special.
Do you ever have just just a group of friends or or family that.
That you're so close to and you want to show them how much they mean to you,
that they're a they're an intricate part of making you whole.
My goodness.
I. That's a lovely story.
You have you have such people in your life.
Yes. So I'm wondering if you have something that I could that I could give them each as a token to show.
That we complete each other.
That's such a lovely sentiment.
Give me a moment.
There's been there's been a line of product that I've been working on.
You might just be the one to try it out on.
She disappears into the back and then comes out with this.
With her sketchbook and in it, she flips to a page and it is a square.
It's like I saw it looks like a solid square piece, but in it are.
Small jewels and intricate iron work or metal work that show part of the landscape of the area.
There's like the mountain off in one side, the river kind of running through, connecting the pieces.
And then the city in or a city, not necessarily this city, but a city in the center, surrounded by these hills and mountains.
She says, I think this could be something.
What do you think?
Well, it's it's beautiful.
But how does it.
This looks just like one.
Oh, of course, she flips the page and then it's like deconstructed to show four separate pieces that interlock with each other.
She said we could we could make them as rings, as a necklace, as a brooch, however you you see fit for your friends.
Oh, this are you are you Ruby?
This I am Ruby.
Yes, Ruby.
This is perfect.
This is exactly this is exactly what I need.
Is it possible to get this fairly quickly?
We're going on a dangerous sort of trip and I'd love to give it to my friends before we go.
We live in a magical world.
I'm sure I could have it for the time that you need it.
Well, this is absolutely perfect, Ruby.
You've made my day and I think I think my friend's day as well.
Yes, yes, just come back later later this evening and I'll have them all ready for you.
You can you can deliver them as you will.
I'm so looking forward to this.
I've been I've been thinking about this this idea just waiting for the perfect person to walk in who has three friends that they want to gift best friend things to.
What are the chances?
Margaret, what kind of thing do you want to support?
I think like a like a small weaponsmith, like a small blacksmith.
No one first saw the shopping montage, but I like it.
Right.
I didn't foresee it took a real twist.
It really did.
I was prepared to have you go fight a bit and an ancient black dragon.
Doesn't it?
Well, it's hard to just cram that in the back end of a two episode record night, or at least, you know, walk up to the mountain, be like, we've made a terrible decision.
This was a mistake.
It's the middle time.
Thanks for being here.
We're going to talk about some cool stuff.
Can't get enough of that sugar crisp.
Yeah, really.
As a little bit, I felt it once I was in it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
As soon as like halfway through, I was like, this is sugar crisp.
So I hope somebody calls it.
You need that creepy, like, oh, yeah, that the bear does at the end.
Is it a bear?
It's a bear.
Yeah, he's a bear.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a bear or a confused cat.
One of the two.
Oh, was it?
No, he wasn't a wrecking.
No, I think a bear.
I'm pretty sure bear.
Isn't he sugar bear?
I'm pretty sure.
Sugar bear.
Yeah.
Sugar bear.
Sounds sexual.
Anyway.
Anyway, Rev's here.
Lex is here.
You know who's not here?
Amy.
Well, let's talk about who's here first, because Rev's our guest.
Oh, that's true.
And he's a guest?
I thought he's just a part of a podcast.
I feel like we have tricked him into being a cast member on the show, and I love it.
We've done that with so many.
He is not the only one.
If he came over to our house, he would be getting, like, plates and dishes like himself.
He would be inside of our refrigerator.
He's a guest, but we put that in quotation marks.
He's just one of the gang.
So Rev is, Rev's a part of our show.
He shows up every now and again, basically whenever we can steal him away from the
quit show, which you should definitely be listening to and also checking out their
new cool streams because they're doing, like, guest DMs and GMs for different games
and showcasing different games over on their Twitch.
Very cool, very fun.
They've got like a Star Wars one and some other really cool stuff, which I
probably should have looked up before I immediately started talking about it.
But you know what?
That's okay, cool.
That's okay, too.
It's fine.
And that's okay, cool.
And now we can talk about who's not here.
It's me.
I'm not here.
I'm missing me.
Amy's not here.
I mean, she's here right now.
But not here for the episode.
Not in the episode.
I just wanted to pop in because I miss you.
Next time Rev comes on the show, which is probably going to be coming up
somewhat soon, Amy will be joining us.
Dang right.
But until then, you know where you can find me?
Over on Patreon, Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
That's right.
Amy plays Gael Nighthunter Oglokanu in the game that Tom runs.
Yeah, she's a Goliath and she has no time for Russ's character Opal shenanigans.
So if you want to see that dynamic really play out like inter characterally and you
do, you should join us.
Tom, give us a scene.
Oh boy.
Here we go.
Picture it.
You're in the downtown office.
Welcome to the downtown office.
Oh, Nighthunter.
Good to see you here.
Tom Kitty, this is not downtown office.
This is a coffee shop.
Yeah, no, this is my office.
Look, we've got baguettes, baguettes, bagels and baguettes and crumpets all together.
It's a baguette.
Harold, but behind the counter has asked you to leave many times.
Harold.
Oh, it's a change of ownership.
I should probably talk to them about re-upping our contract while we're here too.
Oh goodness.
There was never a contract.
Two coffees please.
Okay, Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
We'll see you over there.
I would love to say that that wasn't an accurate representation of what goes on
in the game, but it was 100% inaccurate representation.
Yeah, I know.
It was pretty spot on.
I loved it.
It was good.
Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry.
Okay, we'll get you back to the episode.
Thanks for being here with us.
Come join us on Patreon.
Okay, bye.
Yeah, you find you find one after walking through you find a couple, but you find
one that catches your eye.
The sign hung outside the door is in intricate iron work and it just says
Harriet's on the on the sign.
It's a it's not not lavish or anything like that.
It's just a nice little hole in the wall place.
You enter and you hear like heavy banging on on iron in the back coming
from the back of the room.
Nobody else in here.
You see a couple swords and some shields up on the walls.
Not a lot of things.
Hello.
The hammering goes for a couple more and then stops.
You just hear it from the back.
Hello.
Somebody somebody out there.
Yes.
She comes a short halfling woman, stout halfling woman comes out and walks
over to you and says, sorry, wiping her hands, kind of wiping the grease off.
Oh, loud back there.
Uh, hopefully you haven't been here long.
What can I do for you?
No, no, not at all.
Noisy work.
It is, isn't it?
Uh, sorry.
Is there anything I can do for you, miss?
Uh, yes.
Um, and I'm going to pull my mace out.
Um, do you notice how this puts off this light?
Uh, and the mace does, it gives off about 40 feet of light when it's drawn.
Uh, yes.
Yes, I do.
That's it.
I don't suppose you have, uh, the ability or perhaps the stock.
I'm looking for some daggers that would possibly do the same thing.
Uh, you want, you want a set of daggers that do the same thing.
Same light aspect.
Yes.
Yeah.
We're going someplace that's going to be rather dark and torches may
not always be the best option.
Fair enough.
Um, yeah, I've got, she's looking it over.
I got some material that might be able to do something like that.
Um, how long are you in town for?
Uh, unfortunately, not long, but, uh, I could make a sizable
donation to move this to the top of your list.
Sure.
Sure.
Yeah.
Um, I mean, I only got a couple other jobs, so a couple
daggers shouldn't take too long.
Um, you know what, come back in a couple hours and, uh, uh, you
know, I'll see what I got.
Um, hopefully I'll have something that, uh, that'll suit you.
Um, you, you like the work on this one here?
Would you want me to incorporate it to make it seem like it's a set or?
Um, what have I seen, um, everyone wield?
Uh, everyone of your friends?
Yeah.
Arvid deals hot fire.
So yeah, usually goes with his magic, but he also
has a dagger of venom as a weapon.
Okay.
Yeah.
And Lex typically uses that great sword.
He has various other weapons, but that's the one that he goes for usually.
And what is, what is Percy's magic look like?
Uh, some sweet green hellfire.
Okay.
Uh, I think I would take a moment and describe, uh, to, to Harriet,
um, what Lex's sword Hilt looks like so that it would match.
Uh, and then I just scribe the, the green fire and kind of the dark
energy, uh, that comes from Arvid.
Uh, so they each kind of feel, well, kind of, so they go with
their, uh, with their, their mood, their tone.
Okay.
Green fire.
Okay.
Uh, what does Lex's Hilt look like?
I think it's probably quite simple.
Um, just like, uh, like a leather wrapped kind of, um, handle with a,
with very simple, basic look.
He, he got it on the go.
This is no, you know, great heirloom that's been passed down or anything.
It's a kind of an off the shelf standard great sword that was
cash and carry, non-custom made.
Yeah.
Then the fourth one could, could look like the, kind of the design of the mace.
Yeah.
She, you give her all these descriptions and you go and then you come back a
few hours later and, um, she comes out and she has a bundle, uh, wrapped up
in cloth and she comes out and lays it out on the table and unrolls them.
And, um, the first one is, uh, the one that looks like your mace.
It's, it follows the exact same intricate, um, almost gold work.
So she unravels it and all of them glow, just a slightly different color,
depending on what she's, the work she's done with them.
Um, yours is, yeah, it has this intricate work along the hilt and
the handle that kind of wrap, um, down, like there's a, a handle that
wraps over your knuckles, but also it kind of turns upwards, um, with
this starburst or sunburst pattern.
Lex's, it definitely stands out as the most simple of all of them, but you
lift it and it's like, all of them are perfectly bAlydinced, but this one
especially, like she's taken the time.
Um, it's, it looks like just like a brick of, uh, of steel, but it's
light, like the, um, that cuts across the hilt and it's like wrapped
very tightly with very fine leather that ends in this metal ball at the end.
Perseus's is like this green tinted steel, um, and it's like flames look
like they're climbing up the handle and wrapping around the base of the
blade and the blade itself is like tinted in this green and gives off
this green aura, dark energy one.
Like it's like this fluid dagger that there's no like stop to it.
It just moves from, moves from blade into the handle itself.
And like all kind of flows together.
Um, and she, she steps back and she's showing them all to you.
And I think I've done it.
Yes.
Uh, I would be inclined to agree.
These were, this was an amazing project to work on.
Thank you for, thank you for coming to me.
No, thank you.
These are beautiful.
You, you all settle up individually and meet back together.
Um, I assume at the same tavern, given that they would say
that you could stay the night.
You meet there and Arvid sits down.
He's like, goodness, I found this medicine shop that, uh, they're
dealing in some, is some interesting magic work, uh, and set them up with
a good security system, which they did not have previously.
I feel like I did a good job.
I'm, I'm sure you did a great job.
Well, good.
Thank you.
How did everybody else's evening go?
Well, if you don't mind, I jump in here.
I, I have a little something for you.
And I, in the center of the table, I like unfold kind of this pretty
cloth and see this, this small, what looks like this small scene of, of,
um, terrain and everyone, you know, probably is like, what did he do?
Just kidding.
It's very pretty.
It's quite tiny.
It's like a miniature of, of, of the terrain surrounding us.
Oh, this is really cool.
Yes.
It's beautiful.
But wait, there's more.
And I, I separate the pieces and I hand one to each of my friends.
And I wanted to show you how important our, our bond is to me, that, that the,
the pieces of each of us help, help me feel whole.
So if you, if you would take this and, and, and keep it with you, I think
it will, will help keep you safe.
I'll never take it off.
Yes.
Thank you very much.
As I, I will wear it close to my heart.
I, uh, I also actually have something for each of you.
Um, and I set the, the bundle on the table and start to unwrap it.
Where we're headed, it's probably going to be literally and figuratively the
darkest thing that any of us have ever faced.
Uh, and I have the bundle open by this time and each of these daggers is
glowing with a slightly different light.
Um, and I passed them out to, to each of them.
My hope is that with these, well, as long as we are each a light to one
another, we'll always be able to find each other.
These are incredible, Margaret.
I've always admired your mace and how it, it lights our path.
And this is, is super cool.
Yes.
It's super cool.
This is, this is wonderful.
I feel like I did not get the hint that we were purchasing gifts
for each other and I got some pills.
Is this for the get wild time?
Yes.
I thought you don't need to provide gifts.
I thought you had planned our entertainment for the night.
Well, Perseus still has to go, but yes, we are getting freaky, freaky.
Well, I brought cheese for everybody.
Um, and there's a little, uh, like cheese knife set for, for everybody
to go with as well, so now when we have cheese, we've all got the
stuff to eat the cheese with.
And if we lose our lighted daggers, we have a small cheese
knife to take on the darkness.
Yes.
True.
Or if you lose the cheese knife, you've got something
to still cut the cheese with.
Especially for all our nighttime cheese fests.
This will be very helpful.
Late night snacks.
All right.
Who's ready to get fucked?
Dumbgeons and Dragons season two, episode 80, starring Carla
Maxted as Lex, Tom Laird as Perseus, and Russ More as your
Dungeon Master with guest Rev DeShane as Margaret Broadcloak,
editing production and sound design by Russ More.
This episode featured music and sound effects from Epidemic Sound.
A huge thank you to our supporting producers, Gabriel Lynch,
Jessica Babyok, Mark Hartless, Stevie, Kat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
Christian Brown, Devin Michaels, Aaron Stevens, Eric Houlahan, and
Ray Sirbeck to support Dumbgeons and Dragons and our many other
productions and get access to an exclusive podcast, bonus episodes
and much more, please join our Patreon at Patreon.com slash dumb
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You can also follow us at facebook.com slash dumb dragon podcast
and on Twitter and Instagram at dumb dragon cast.
Thank you for listening.
Have a great week and we'll talk again soon.
That no one thought could pull it off.
Exactly what I was looking for.
I thought you were going with the time honored tradition of making
our guests name our groups.
Yeah, me too.
We're the Rough Riders.
That would have been a wild answer.
I've already done my naming.
That's right.
You just hear Harvard in the back.
Stop.
Throw away.
No, is that not?
I thought we had this conversation on the way here.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I just, weird spell, weird songs.
Yeah, fair enough.
What you want to do?
Chat about things, cut to another scene.
How do you, how do you want to go about this?
Can we have a small, fun adventure before we head into the underdark?
Cause we're probably out of game, obviously not heading into the
underdark tonight.
No, probably not.
Yeah.
So what can we do that's fun guys?
Karaoke competition.
Ooh, cheese, cheese shop.
Sure.
For the back half of this episode.
Meet there and Harvard sits down.
He's like, well, I, nope, that's not Harvard.
Oh, wow.
Oh boy.
Went real new for you there, didn't we?
Oh jeez.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.