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Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
How do we get the honey?
So I need to get to the hive and sort of root around in there and get some out and put it into this honey pot that I have brought.
Carla can't even right now.
Can any of you, any of you sneaky? Perhaps one of you should just go in there.
Moot kinda rubs his nose and points at Sully.
Sneak on in and just, you know, subvert this whole problem.
But you guys gotta have my back and stuff too.
If you, if you see one of them seeing me, you gotta like take them out before they can tell anybody else.
When I'm grabbing Sully, I like reach with my like nasty nail claws and I cut the bubbles free and then I stab them down and I'm running away from the seat.
It's very diehard. Extremely cool.
Also fucking awesome fan art. Sully on the back of this honey badger with the giant explosion behind them.
Somebody do that please.
So much wisdom.
Wisdom.
And then you see this adult green dragon bound out.
Honey delivery.
Oh no, not the guy. Not the delivery guy. He's got the goods.
Slip was making hell wasp honey mallows.
Wait, he was making you these hell wasp treats on the side?
I love adventures and hell wasp honey mallows.
Let's go talk about the recipe. What do you want to put in yours?
Oh no, no, no. It's all that what you want as the customer, my dear.
Glimed Moot and swaddled baby Sully walk back towards Draught the Mar.
Better? Maybe. We'll see.
I mean different.
Forever changed.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your dungeon master Russ More.
He, him. Also with me today is Tom Laird.
That's me, he, him. And I am playing Moot who also goes by he, him.
And Carla Maxted.
She, her. I am playing Norixious Akra. You know her better as Glim, she, her.
And Amy More.
She, her. And I play Sullivan Slyte. He, him.
No Lightfoot Halfling Rogue on that one.
Oh! I was waiting for it.
I didn't go for the...
Me neither.
I know, I didn't notice it so much on YouTube, but then the Lightfoot Halfling Rogue.
It was so, it was just so brief.
I just missed the Halfling Lightfoot Rogue is what I missed.
The Lightfoot, the Halfling, the, he's a...
Exactly.
That much.
I missed it. But we got it now, it's good. Hey everybody.
Hey.
Hey.
What's up?
What's going on? What's up with you?
I'm also just chilling here.
Me too.
Looking forward to running a game where it's a big shopping episode coming up here.
Oh God, I'm so excited.
Me too.
Did you misplace your notes, Ross? What's happening?
No, I've got notes. Don't worry, I've got notes. It's a shopping episode.
Guys, guys, we're shopping.
Hey, speaking of shopping episodes, we're going to go visit the new Zed Mart we mentioned a little ago.
Our patrons contribute several of the items to the Zed Mart.
And if you would like to, after you hear some of these amazing items, you're probably like,
Ah, sweet. I've got the craziest idea for a cool thing that Mook Lammer Sully or Flint Thea Yenpold would love to purchase off the store shelves at the Zed Mart.
Oh yes, please give us your weird stuff.
Yeah.
I want weird stuff.
I want some weird stuff too.
You can go join us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, where when you're a patron, you also get an episode dedicated to you.
Like today's patron, Austin Hale.
Thanks Austin.
Austin, thank you so much.
Thank you, Austin, Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
Fuck it, let's play.
You mean fuck it, let's shop.
Well, we've got to play to shop.
Well, that was not part of the deal.
I was told it was a shopping episode.
The three of you have just been chilling like villains, only not villains because you're very lawful in the way you go about your business in Gerod Tamar for some time now.
Mostly because like the pressure just seems to be just not quite there right now.
It's a little bit of a reprieve.
Since you've been there, a new store has pulled in called the Zed Mart.
Because when you shop there, you're smart.
And it caught your eye.
All the sweet goods in the windows.
The three of you pull up one fine morning and you're the first in line to go check out the store shelves.
Guys, I got a bag of gold and it's just burning a hole in my pocket.
I know.
There's so many things.
They set up the display in the window and it looks so great.
And I just like, I want all this stuff.
You enter the Zed Mart.
There's a beep that you hear.
Just off somewhere.
Not exactly sure where.
And a young gentleman dressed very dapper, bow tie, pops up from behind the counter.
And he's got a very large, bushy, curly mustache and slicked over hair.
And he says, well, hello there.
Welcome to Zed Mart.
You're one of the first customers of the day.
How can I help you?
Well, we were told that the first people who come in today, like the first...
Sorry, excuse the dog down here.
Very noisy today.
Oh, yeah.
No, it's fine.
But I was told that the first people who come in here for today get a 10% discount.
Where did you see this flyer?
It wasn't a flyer.
It was word of mouth.
Oh, from who?
Who referred you?
So many people.
Name six.
Oh, I don't know all the names, but it's just, you know when you're walking through the marketplace and you're like, and you're hearing stuff and it's like, 10% discount, 10%.
Did you hear that Zed Mart's having a 10% discount for the first four people who walk in?
Well, you know what?
You look like fine upstanding young adventurers out on the road to do good.
I could give you that 10% discount that you've heard.
Well, really?
I rolled so low.
I don't care how low you roll.
Well, I like the way you roll, my friend.
Yeah.
You know, you could just have like a carriage with those hydraulics pumping up and down.
Oh, yeah.
Really freaks the horses out.
It does. It makes it difficult.
They don't like that.
No.
But take a look at the shelves.
If anything catches your eye, I can give you some more information on it, obviously.
Okay.
I'm going to go keep my dog quiet.
Sorry.
Yes.
What's your name?
Stevenson.
Stevenson.
Yes.
Stevenson or Stevenson?
Stevenson.
One word.
Stevenson.
Is your dad also named Steve because then you would be Stevenson Stevenson or Stevenson Stevenson?
Yes.
Absolutely.
How did you make that connection?
I mean, I guess it's kind of common.
I see how you made the connection is basically what I'm trying to say here.
So, yes, thank you for pulling up my family lineage.
I'm going to write that down for later that Steve might come up.
Oh, hey, I got a question since you got a whole lot of stuff here.
Yes.
I was wondering if you could tell me a little more about this and from strapped
to his back, Sullivan Sleight pulls out his staff of the adder.
Oh my, look at this.
This is very intricate.
Very good.
Why don't you take a look around?
Leave this here.
I'll take a look at it, see if I can't find some information in some of my books
back here.
Can I make like a perception check on this guy and whether or not he's going
to like try to pawn this out for something else and steal my thing?
Sure.
Yeah.
Insight is what you're looking for.
Damn it.
Why did I put it back?
She's a character who could just be the Zed Mart character.
She's like, he's going to fuck us over.
I guess.
I am very distressed.
I wonder why she feels that way, Russ.
Sorry, am I investigating or no?
Insight.
Insight.
I don't have much of that.
Yeah, I wonder if there's maybe been a reason in the past.
If we've ever been burnt in the past.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Also Russ could be like, this is too much for you.
You're not allowed to have it.
18 episodes from now, I'm going to try to use this staff.
And he's going to be like, oh, twist.
Guy behind the counter at Zed Mart swapped it out for a fake.
Remember, son of Steve?
He's the new Big Bad.
I'm married to you.
I know your tricks, Dewey.
That's fair.
You get a good feeling off of him that he's not trying to do harm.
He's trying to help you.
He's giving you the 10% deal.
He's pulling out books as we speak.
All right.
Thanks, man.
That's real awesome of you, Steven.
Yeah, of course.
No extra charge for looking this one up.
How much would it be for your time?
Don't even worry about it.
For you, we're best friends now.
I immediately dislike him.
All right.
Thanks, man.
I'm going to look around.
Great do so.
I think you're going to call me a great douchebag.
Great douchebag.
Sorry, what did you say?
Great do so, not douchebag.
Guys, look at this.
What did you find?
What is it?
You know how we can't see in the dark and then we go in a place and then we can't
see?
Wouldn't it be amazing?
Well, I mean, some of us can.
OK.
Well, no, I totally get what you're saying.
Say you couldn't see in the dark.
OK, I'm following you now.
Excuse me, sir.
No shaming people who can't see in the dark.
There's a sign up there.
No shaming those without dark vision.
Now that you pointed out, I see the sign.
I'm very sorry.
Back to my work.
It's funny with that dark vision you could do.
You couldn't see that sign over there, though.
Really interesting, right?
It's right next to the hang in there, little kitty.
So what if what if I had a sword that that provided light and then did extra
damage, but I don't have enough money for it, but it's so beautiful.
How much is it?
I could maybe spot you some.
I remember we got that we have the 10 percent discount.
That's true.
But guys, it's it's nineteen hundred gold.
Oh, I know it's too much.
I'm going to even on layaway.
I couldn't afford it because then we'd have to come back to Gerothimar.
And then I'd you know, it just doesn't make sense.
But oh, look at it's called Sunspire.
It's so beautiful.
Well, I wonder if this is like one of those things that they would have at another
Zed Mart and that maybe you could save up for like, oh, like if they got like very
similar things, a different maybe Stevenson can tell us more about that.
Yeah, that's a good question.
Maybe we'll come into some money.
I mean, I I mostly just, you know, I'm so I have to give mine away.
So I need to sort of change my philosophy and then.
Yeah, you got to stop doing that.
Yeah, really start saving up.
The thing is, I really want to save up.
I kind of just want to get something now.
You're speaking my language sister.
Yeah. Yeah.
Anything. What do you guys think?
I know I'm probably not supposed to anymore because of what happened last time.
But look, there's a scroll of Eldritch Blast.
And I know last time the scroll thing didn't go so well.
But I mean, I didn't even know what that one did.
But this one right on it and and there's this really neat kind of explanation
and like what it does and stuff probably would would work out much better.
I'm thinking I mean, I kind of feel like it worked great last time.
I mean, it was carnage.
Yeah, it was quite destructive.
It was terrifying.
But we really came away from that.
We were safe.
So at the end of the day, that's what's really important, right?
You protected us.
Job well done.
Yeah.
But yeah, maybe from now on, scrolls with directions are probably like a better way to go.
Well, I think I'm totally going to get this one.
I put it in my basket.
Sully has picked up one of those plastic basket shopping.
Like one of the ones that you can drag around with you that has the wheels on it
or like a just like the one the hands.
Well, if he's got the if he's got the option, it's the one that he can drag behind.
Yeah, absolutely.
Because carrying those plastic shopping baskets around, that's bullshit.
Especially when you're a halfling.
It's basically on the ground anyways.
Right.
So yeah, I'm dragging this behind me.
Hey Moot, you want to push me in this?
I would love to.
Where should I push it to?
What do you want to have a look at?
I don't know.
I already got something cool.
I'm going to look at it.
Why don't you take me to something that you want?
Oh, OK, sure.
I wheel Sully over towards there's like a wall of gems and there's a green one.
I say, hey, what's this emerald?
What do you think it does?
Steveson, do you know what this emerald does?
Oh, that one there.
That's a real that's a real catch.
Good eye, sir.
Good eye.
That gem contains a just a moat of elemental energy.
So when you break it, an elemental is summoned as if you had cast the spell Conjure Elemental.
After that point, though, the gems magic is lost.
One time use.
So you just really want to pull it out when you have that moment.
And the emerald one summons a what was it again is a water elemental, I do believe.
Oh, good.
I want to ask what what what elemental would have been green.
But yes, yes, it's the water elemental.
If you run into others, the blue is air, yellow is earth, red is fire and emerald is water.
Well, I don't want to I don't want to touch it because it's a little out of my price range.
But boy, it sure is nice to look at.
Fair enough. Yes, yes.
Well, we do have certain layaway programs.
I overheard you saying that if you would like to put some money towards the next Zed Mart,
your your your credit carries with you everywhere you go.
And then through the power of magic, your item can appear where you are.
Oh, so OK, how does that work?
Magic. Right.
But like, how does the magic work?
Oh, well, see, we keep just a general we keep an account for you.
So your your your name is Moot.
My name's Moot. Lovely to meet you, Moot.
We would keep your your account under Moot.
You'd have an account number.
We'd we'd put it into our our ledger system, which gets amalgamated into one central unit.
And then as it adds up, once you get to the total.
So for the elemental gem, which is seven hundred twenty gold, we would take the item.
It gets placed into a sort of pocket dimension, which is accessible via every other Zed Mart.
Oh, that's really cool.
Now, how would you know that I'm the Moot in question?
Well, you would have your account number with you.
Well, sure. But what if somebody got that information from me?
Oh, this is very good information to have.
So what we would do is we would just well, there's one of two ways we could just take a little bit of hair,
a drop of blood, or we could we could sketch an image of you.
They're pretty lifelike.
OK, so. All right.
Sketch, blood or hair. All right.
I will think I will think that over.
Just information to have about, you know, future visits.
I hear you're looking to spend your cash, not, you know, walk away with something something fun and exciting.
Remember that 10 percent off.
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.
I forgot about the 10 percent.
So Glim's over in the scroll section and she's like looking at the scrolls.
And then you see her looking at her friends and just kind of like squinting and really like staring at them
and looks at Moot, looks at Sully.
Really like got a real concentrating look on her face and is like,
and realizes she has like no idea what they're thinking.
And wouldn't it be handy to have a scroll that like let her read someone's mind?
I mean, probably not to use on her friends, but like, but maybe, but maybe, but maybe.
But like these are the people she knows, like the best other than her family.
And she like has no idea what they're thinking at any time.
So are they really in this saving the world thing as much as she is?
I feel like she believes that 100 percent.
No, there's a prophecy and we're all a team.
So I'm looking at that scroll of detect thoughts.
And I'm going to I'm going to maybe pick that up, pick that up.
I think it'd be really funny if it was like, no, nothing in Sully.
Couldn't detect a single thought.
And I don't have a cart, but I have like a reusable bag that I.
Of course you do.
That I brought myself to the store that I'm going to put that in.
You know what? You get an extra few coppers off for your green initiative.
Oh, great.
I mean, you got it. You got to take care of the place, right?
Absolutely. We've only got this one planet.
Oh, I feel like we're going to be best friends as well.
Oh, that's really nice. You know who my actual best friend is?
Tell me.
Well, there's this really cool guy I know. His name's Bahamut.
Have you heard of him?
I have heard of Bahamut. Have you seen the Bahamut poster section?
No.
Yes, it's in the back. It's got those flippies.
Oh my God, guys, I'll be like, I don't know, 30, 40 minutes.
Four hours.
I'll be back. I'll be back.
Sully wants to go back over to the scrolls because one caught his eye.
It's completely like splattered and he picks up a color spray scroll too
and puts it with him that nobody's looking.
But then as he turns around, he sees a section of notebooks and is like,
oh, hey, Moot. Moot, Moot, Moot, look.
Yeah, I'm here. I'm here right beside you.
Listen, I can't buy a gift for you right now because you're like right here.
But if you were to buy a gift for yourself, this would be something really good.
Look, it's called the Notebook of Holden.
Oh, what does it do? Because I already have a pretty good notebook.
This is an endless notebook, it says.
What?
And if a page is torn from it or the writing on it has a shelf life of one hour
before it turns blank and afterwards, if you write on the page, you can't.
And the loose page won't hold any ink and you can write on it forever.
I don't know if I'm reading this right.
Stevenson?
Yes, sir.
OK, Sully was trying to tell me about this notebook and I think he got it right
for the most part.
What do you know about this notebook of holding?
One moment, please.
Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup.
He's running over to you.
Is the store that big?
It's quite large.
We're just screaming across the store.
Luckily, it's really early and we're the only ones in here.
And you can hear me from back in the Bahamut poster section.
Got it. Got it. Got it.
Look at this one.
Need it?
Look at it flying.
Bahamut's on the hood of a Camaro in this one.
Classic. So classic.
Oh my God.
Oh, my friend had this stenciled on their carriage.
It looked so wicked.
Yes, sir.
The notebook of holding.
That comes from a very interesting creator, an artificer of sorts, Jessica Babyok.
She has created these notebooks of holding.
So once you...
It's exactly as I overheard.
It's an endless notebook for a person who takes notes.
Do you take notes?
I take so many notes.
Does he take notes?
I could have guessed from your pack.
You have notebooks spilling all over the place.
This would take care of that.
Yes, absolutely.
The pages just never end.
I have a question.
Does the notebook get bigger with the more pages?
Or does it stay the same size and yet there's just endless pages in it?
There's endless pages.
You just recall the thing that you need and it comes to the page that you desire.
Oh, this is...
Sully, you did so good finding this.
But wait, there's more.
There's more?
What if I buy it now?
10% off.
What kind of other purchases will I...
What kind of other bonus things will come with the purchase?
Once per the day, it can lend you a sort of inquisitive advantage to something you're trying to accomplish
It's something that you have taken notes on previously.
In regular speak, it gives you advantage on a skill check if it relates to something that you may have previously written notes about.
Like something about birds that you may have sketched.
Or all of my great jokes.
I would love to know what skill check rule I need to know about your jokes, but...
You don't know.
It's got to be an insight.
This is pretty fantastic, Stevenson.
So, okay.
Normally, 87 gold, but with the 10% off, I guess, 75?
No, 79?
No.
What price would it be?
Well, 10% of 87 is 8 gold, 7 silvers.
We'd round it up for you and just give you the full 9 off.
Because I'd like the cut of your jib.
So that would be...
Quick math.
70, 76, 78.
No.
Yes.
79.
No, I think you were right with the 76.
How much is it?
9.
78.
78.
78.
The three of us are in radio.
I just wanted a cheaper notebook, you guys.
I just wanted to watch that train wreck.
I'm like, alright, it's 87 minus 9.
Let's see how long it takes Russ to do.
Well, when Russ went for a lower price, I tried to cram onto it.
Good strategy.
You're like, nope, you can stop there.
That's nice.
Yeah, that's fine.
It sounded great.
Okay.
Yeah.
So the 78.
Wow, that sounds great.
I'm going to put this in...
Sully, can I put this in your cart for the time being?
Oh, yeah.
Just put it here on my lap.
One more thing to note.
If you're concerned about losing information or a page being torn out, the individual
pages have shelf life on them.
So if someone were to acquire a note that you did not want, it would last for
an hour on that page, but then it would be blank and would not work.
It would lose its magic.
Now, is that for every page that gets ripped out or just pages that I don't want?
Like if I give someone a note to take to the king, but they can't get there in
an hour, is the page now blank?
The page is now blank.
One hour of shelf life.
Or are there things to consider here?
Yes, yes.
Well, now instead of carrying seven notebooks around, you probably just carry
two.
One for ripping pages out and the other one for keeping everything in.
Smart.
That's why you're the pageologist.
Do you have a large desire or a large need to rip pages from books, to give as
notes for scribes or squires running back to kings?
Oh, the life you lead!
My friend in the back there looking at the Bahama posters, she's got this
destiny that we're supposed to save the world, so you never know when I'm
going to need to rip notes out of a notebook.
This day just keeps getting more and more interesting, and it's only been
20 minutes.
I come out from the back, Steve-son.
There's a beaded curtain.
Of course there is.
Of course there is.
Wait.
That's where the good stuff is.
I was going to say, is that where the port is?
That's where the Bahama posters are.
Sally goes through the beaded curtain.
Steve-son, wow.
I've never seen such a good selection in one place.
It's amazing.
I mean, I think I have literally every one, but wow.
Normally people have like two or three.
You have like 30.
It's amazing.
This store.
One of my passion projects for Zed Mart is to be a hub for deity merchandise.
Bahama, really on the ground floor of this merchandise thing.
And I mean, probably not your best, busiest department here at Gerard
Tamar, but like basically everywhere else, I'm sure it's super busy.
It's popping.
All day.
You guys finding good stuff?
What do you think?
Are you going to like, I got this scroll.
I don't know.
I might get something else too.
I want to spend.
Oh, go ahead.
Oh, so I was just going to say I got these two scrolls here.
I think, I think that might be it for me because I will totally just, I will blow all my money in here.
It's hard not to.
Like Steven said, you just take my money, but don't because also I need to eat and stuff.
But you know what I mean.
Oh, guys, look at this necklace though.
Oh, that's real pretty.
It's really nice.
Oh my God.
With the red, it would look, don't, and I kind of hold it up like in front of me.
Like this is going to, it looks good.
Doesn't it look good?
It looks good.
Right.
Especially with your, with your, with your scales and it's just all shiny.
Yeah.
It's so, Steven, is this, is this just fashion?
Because I love it.
It is fashion and function is what it is all wrapped up into one.
You find, judging by the items on your back presently, the war pick and swords and shields,
you look like you might stub your toe a few times in a day.
I can be clumsy.
You'd think I'd be better all the, all the Zumba and the fitness, but can't take
clumsy out of someone no matter how fit they are.
That is fair.
This is an amulet of temporary health.
So what it does not only looks good around the wearer's neck, but it grants you a little
extra vitality in the morning.
So in GameSpeak, it gives you, gives the wearer five temporary hit points just for
wearing the item and that refreshes basically every day.
Once a day, you can use it, activate it.
Once attuned to give you an amount of temporary hit points, which is five plus
your level, five plus your con or 20, whichever is highest.
If you are not attuned, you don't receive a ditch.
So if you take it off, you lose the attunement.
You can't use it again for another 1d8 days.
Like for example, maybe if she gave it to somebody else to wear, it's not attuned
to them, but they still get the plus five.
Yeah, yes, yes.
You would still get the plus five.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then once attuned, you could get the bonus.
Okay, cool.
And also so pretty.
Also so pretty.
So pretty.
I mean, I definitely want this.
Can I put it on?
I'm going to wear it out.
Of course.
Love wearing things out of the store.
What do you guys think?
Are you going to, are you going to buy some more stuff or is that?
Well, I feel like I want to save my money, but boy, there's some nice things in here.
Well, what if you just want to spend a little bit of money?
Cause like I see these marking stickers over here and they, and like there's a
whole bunch of, like you could just buy a pack of 10 stickers for two coppers.
And like you mark your items, right?
Like, you know, this notebook.
It's mine and you put your sticker on it.
Well, I feel, I feel like, you know, between us, like we don't, we don't need those.
Everybody knows it's my notebook.
And out of his pocket, Sully pulls out your pen, your quill.
I'm not sure what we're using.
Sure.
It wouldn't be a pen.
Pencil?
Probably a quill.
Quill?
On the road?
We've already established that there are pencil crayons in this world.
So there's pencils.
Okay.
I pull out your pencil and I hand it to you.
Oh, okay.
I see.
I believe this belongs to you.
Anyway, they just caught my eye cause there's like a lot of real cute, some cute things
in there.
Well, I don't know.
There was one that caught my eye for you, Sully.
It's, what does this say here, Stevenson?
The bardic ring of zingers?
The bardic ring of zingers.
Oh, zingers.
Oh, that was crafted by Dear Mark Heartless.
So, it's a little ostentatious looking.
Oh yeah, it's real gaudy.
That's the best part.
Right?
It really catches your eye.
This is a statement ring.
It can be used to throw off an opponent in some sort of duel or bout or some sort
of spat that you're having.
Or repel any sexual advances from anybody, anywhere.
It would definitely grant disadvantage in those moments as well.
But, whoever wears it, in order to activate it, you must first taunt your opponent before
the ring takes effect.
Oh, I do like to taunt.
You are good at that.
The ring feeds off taunting.
And I say feed, but it's not like it's like feeding.
It's just, you know, it energizes it.
I mean, I didn't think it was that way until you mentioned it.
That sort of sarcastic, just biting wit.
That's what gets it going in the morning.
Wow, it's awfully big.
Oh my god, it's 500 gold.
Well, it is a real zinger.
Oh, I see what you did there.
I'm just going to place this down.
Well, it could be for a later time.
Or another adventurer, who knows?
You're trying to create the sense of urgency in me that somebody else might come and get this.
I see what you're doing.
It's a great sales tactic.
Great sales tactic.
I used it many times.
There was just there was just a young fellow in the other day.
Yesterday, actually.
Listen, I used to also be a sailor.
I used to sell so many things.
On the high seas?
In stores where you push the sails.
A sailor.
A sailor.
Sure.
Someone who tells everybody about the sails and tries to get people to buy things.
Steveson looks to moot and glim.
I give them like that.
Just go with it.
Yes, a sailor.
And so I know what strategies you're using here.
It's not going to work on me, but I got the scrolls I want.
But I am super duper interested to hear if you got any information about my staff.
And I will happily tip you for that.
Is that allowed here?
You're allowed to tip?
No tips required.
We get paid a fair wage at the Zed Mart.
That's just nice to hear.
That's real great.
But yes, I do have some information on your staff.
Just come over and join me at the book.
So this, I do believe, is the staff of the Adder.
Adder what?
Not out of.
Adder.
A snake.
Oh, because it's got the snake on the head.
Yes.
How did you come into contact with it?
How did you come into possession with it?
Not knowing what to do with it.
It was gifted to me.
It's only gotten as a reward.
It was rewarded to me.
For a job well done.
Okay.
So primarily it's used by magic users.
Clerics, druids, warlocks, that sort of thing.
In fact, it requires attunement by one of those three classes.
They use a command word and it turns the head of the staff into a poisonous snake.
Whoa.
Yeah.
However, it is generally restricted to those, to those classes.
Oh.
So what you're saying is I just have a real fancy stick.
You have a fancy snake stick.
Unless you just like took tutelage under one of these, under one of these certain
individuals and learned over time how to craft and utilize the magic towards using
using this fancy stick.
Well, gosh, I don't know.
I don't think I know any clerics or druids or warlocks.
Do I?
Wait a minute.
Glim, aren't you a cleric?
No, no, no.
I'm a pAlydin.
I mean, it's, it's a similar adjacent.
Yeah, you're just so pious and like.
Mostly I'm just a real big fan of Ahmet.
I feel like I don't go like preaching and proselytizing or anything like a cleric would.
Anyway, I'm not entirely sure how I would find one of these people to show me.
Well, you do travel around.
Do you not?
Well, yeah, but studying under somebody makes it feel like it's kind of a long
commitment where I'd need to be into one, into one place.
And if Glim and Moot need to go in and do something like world saving and stuff.
And I'm like, guys, I got class.
Oh, OK.
Well, I mean, it's your staff.
Whatever. I don't know what you I give you.
I've given you the information.
Oh, I I'm just I'm just fit.
I like I just sure I'm just wondering.
I'm just I just you know, here we love, you know, furthering ourselves extra
education and all that sort of thing, too, with the Zed Mart.
And when we find people in possession of items that require certain other
knowledges, you know, just can't can't hurt to to offer a window that they
maybe didn't otherwise look through.
Are you offer me are you a cleric or a druid or a warlock?
I'm a sailor.
And he looks to Moot and gives a big wink.
Why do you say it like that?
It's it's how how a sailors do, right?
Oh, yeah, it is.
And silly winks at him and then turns to Moot and Glim is like, I don't know.
This guy.
Well, I mean, Glim, how long are we staying in a Gerard the Mar?
Did I say that name right?
Yeah. Good for me.
Welcome to the middle.
We're here to tell you about our cool community.
I really felt like you had like a country vibe to that.
I wasn't sure where it was going to where it was going to go.
Sometimes it finds itself along the road, the long, dusty open road.
Yeah, that one.
You find the back of the pickup truck lowers onto your head.
Here, Rover, come on.
People not in Canada might not realize that Russ and Amy live in like
the cowboy part of Canada.
They aren't cowboys per se.
But they do live.
Exactly.
They do live in the cowboy kind of region of our nation.
I have lived here for a very long time of my life, like most percentages.
So I guess I'm the most cowboy of us all.
I yeah, I guess.
Which is weird.
Or your cowboy immunity is very high.
That's what it is.
Enough Calgary Stampede's that I've just really, I can just hold back on it
so hard.
Hey, where we'd like to see you is over in our Discord community,
because we have a whole bunch of really amazing people over there that are
just the best and we love them to bits and we want you to be part of that.
Yes, totally accurate.
Whatever you like to talk about.
D&D, obviously people talk about that there.
But like cute pets, food you make, food you grow.
Books.
The level of food these last few weeks has just been off the charts.
Well, yeah, I mean, during the holidays, it's already off the chart anyway.
But yeah, everyone's like, oh, I did this and I did this.
So much food.
So great to watch.
So much.
And I always somehow end up like while I am preparing my lunch is when I
scroll through Discord.
And then I'm like, my leftovers just seem more sad.
Doesn't look the same.
Just doesn't seem the same as all these magnificent feasts people are
making.
You can come join us on Discord.
Like you don't have to be a patron.
You don't have to be on any other Discord.
You might not even know what Discord is.
I didn't before we started doing it.
Me neither.
It's just like a place where you chat.
It's like a chat room is really what it is.
Another benefit there is that the people, I mean, you get to know all
the people just through chatting.
If you're an active participant or if you kind of hang out in the
background, that's kind of that's cool too.
But those people who get to know each other have started games, have
started sending each other like candy gift packs.
Like there's real friendships happening in there and we're very
happy and honored that people come and do that in our community.
So thank you all.
Yeah.
Everyone's so like nice and warm and welcoming and just like we
encourage you to come dip your little toe in.
Come check it out.
And if you have a strong meme game, please post in the meme channel.
Love those memes, especially if they're interactive memes with like the
alignment charts.
Those ones are fun.
Those are hot fire in the Discord right now.
So the link is down in the description.
Come hang out with us.
We'd love to have you there.
And again, no pressure, no commitment, no nothing.
But we'd love to see you over there.
And now we'll get you back to the fun times.
Yeah.
And now cowboys, because that's how we started for some reason.
And now to make it full circle.
It's time for your episode.
Here we go.
Okay.
Bye.
Okay.
Bye.
Well, I don't know.
I mean, we did what I came here to do.
So I guess as soon as we find our next adventure, we'll be gone.
Well, how do we know what that is?
Yeah.
It's not like just the adventure fairy shows up and leaves it under our pillow.
But wouldn't that just be great?
That would be great though.
I feel like the adventure just like will know it.
It'll just present itself and it'll just will feel a calling to it like kind of
on a spiritual level.
So is this like some tutelage that I could do like correspondence wise?
Perhaps.
Perhaps.
There could be correspondence with some sort of educational facility.
We could give you some pamphlets.
We've got pamphlets here for various different manners of job.
Oh, all right.
He hands you different ones for Gerard the Mar.
Glim, did you see?
There's a place for pamphlets.
You should probably ask.
You put your pamphlets.
Do you?
Can I?
And I'm like reaching.
Can I?
I happen to have some pamphlets here.
Oh, OK.
I'm just wondering like is this like a community kind of pamphlet board?
Of course, yes.
Yes.
What do you have for me?
Oh, well, I mean, it's all about Bahamut.
I sort of have gone through and like handwritten on where the temple is here in
Gerard the Mar because I keep them just like quite generic.
You know, so just like wherever we are, general kind of information about the good
news about Bahamut.
Of course, yeah.
But I've kind of handwritten on so that it could go to the temple here.
Do you mind if I just put a few of these and I'm already like, please do hastily
shoving them into the what if they if they go like hotcakes, we could have we
could have our scribes duplicate them to to to be spread around to the other
Zedmarts.
Steve said, I think we might be best friends.
I knew it as soon as you walk through.
I know you said it before, and I feel like you were sort of pulling my leg,
but maybe as us sailors do.
Right, Sully?
Yeah, OK.
So he's never had anyone call him on this before.
It's really shocking.
OK, well, I got these pamphlets, so I'm just going to maybe go to some of
these places and see what kind of like situate.
Thank you for.
Oh, I need to pay for my stuff.
Yes, please tell me.
I'm ready.
Let's check out.
What does everybody have in their carts?
So first things first, Sully, we'll get you.
You're right up front here.
What did you purchase?
OK, so I would like the scroll of color spray.
Excellent scroll.
It's just there's it's so bright.
And also the one of Eldritch Blast.
Oh, dangerous.
Not the most dangerous thing I've ever had.
OK.
That's a story for another day, I'm sure.
Flips to page scroll of color spray.
Ninety gold minus 10 percent is 81 gold.
Wow, where are you getting your numbers from?
Because where I clicked on my scroll of color spray is 120 gold.
Well, I'll go with mine then.
I want your price.
The fuck is this?
Yes. OK.
Yeah. So those two scrolls for me.
OK. So yes, 90 down to 81 and 15.
Down to 1350.
All right. So what do I owe you all together?
Ninety four fifty.
So 94 gold and five silver.
All right. Settled up pamphlets scrolls.
You know the thing about scrolls, right?
Yeah, you can only use it once and you got to follow all the directions on them.
Oh, oh.
Well, no.
Hey, it's me jumping in on top of me.
Yeah, this whole scroll thing that I'm going to explain.
You can probably tell that I'm reading it as I'm going.
And as such, mess it up.
We correct it in the downtime, which you can find at Patreon dot com slash dumb Dragoncast where you can join us over there.
But you can use scrolls once.
Sometimes, if you know the spell, it can be OK.
But for just using a scroll, that's about as far as it goes.
Anyways, back to the episode now.
Thanks. Bye.
You can use the normally.
You can cast them once.
But if you succeed on a DC equal to 10 plus the spell's level.
It maintains its its it maintains.
Oh, oh.
So this is something I can use over and over again.
As long as you succeed on your your arcane knowledge.
So the first time I fuck up, it's gone.
There is if you find yourself in in in company with someone who can transcribe spells,
you can copy them to another scroll and then you have multiple of them.
Cool. OK, who's next?
I'm ready.
So I've got this beautiful amulet.
And then I've also got this scroll of detect thoughts.
What is that for?
Well, you know, if we have to like interrogate a bad guy or like we're on the road and somebody drinks my special organic oatmeal.
Can I need to figure out who keeps drinking it?
Because it's my special thing that only I can have.
And you guys can just have regular milk.
Like, you know, whatever, just whatever comes up.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've noticed that it does go missing for you quite often.
I. It wasn't me.
OK, great. Yes.
Same same goes for the scrolls.
There's a there's a check that you have to do in order to maintain them.
Otherwise, it's a one time use if you fail.
The amulet of temporary health.
That, too, is by Kat Waterflame.
Waterflame Studios.
Yes. Yes.
Normally 100 gold down to 90 for you today.
The scroll of detect thoughts.
Normally 180 gold down today to 162.
So a total of 252 gold, please.
Great. Here you go.
Thank you.
Goodness, you just ready to spend.
I love it.
And Moot, what what what do you have in your basket?
Moot made a special quick trip back to the scroll section after he saw everyone else getting scrolls.
If you want to get in on that.
So he puts his three items up on the counter.
There's the notebook of holding.
There's the 10 stickers.
Oh, you got them.
And the scroll of hellish rebuke.
OK, so the scroll of hellish rebuke.
Yes, that's going to be regular 90 down to 81.
The notebook of holding.
Again, that's from our artificer, Jessica Babyok.
Thank you, Jessica.
That's down from 87 to 78 gold for you today.
And then the stickers where their add on.
So that's that's two coppers for you.
Did you know about the stickers, what they do for you?
Yeah, I think so.
It was pretty the description was pretty clear on it.
If someone tries to touch my stuff, they have to like get stunned if they're not smart enough.
Was that what it was?
Oh, OK.
So, yes, you put it on if they if somebody tries to take it from you.
These stickers are made by Kat water flame.
She's known all across the land for making sure water flame studios.
Exactly.
So if somebody touches or take some of your things,
they're also going to possibly take some some psychic stress damage.
So they have to save on a an intelligent save of a DC of 15 or take one D4 psychic damage.
If that same person touches the same item again, they have to make another higher save DC 17 or be paralyzed for 10 minutes.
Well, it kind of sounds like maybe Glim should use that for her oat milk.
Well, sure, I could give one to Glim.
Well, but remember, Steve, and you said that maybe I could save a few coppers because I brought my reusable bag.
Oh, yes, you did.
Oh, my goodness.
I didn't even think about that.
Well, me neither.
But then you said two coppers for 10 stickers.
And I thought, well, maybe maybe I could just have 10 stickers.
You're right.
You caught me.
What do you think?
Oh, goodness. I feel so bad.
It would have been a yes.
Take the stickers here.
We'll just write it up.
That covers the cost.
As long as you are fine with that.
Oh, I'm delighted.
And then I don't have to use the scroll on this whole oat milk thing.
Well, if everybody else has stickers, I want some too.
And I slapped two copper down on the thing.
And I'm like, three can play at that game.
All right.
Everybody's got stickers.
They're going to be wheeling and dealing.
Just like leaving things just close to where people are picking up other things.
It's going to be real fun.
Real fun.
Does anyone else get the thought that Sully is going to, like,
put a sticker on someone's beer at the bar when they're not looking?
And then they like go to touch it.
Things go very south.
Well, no, I think Sully would put it on his own beer.
I was going to say it also does say touch your stuff.
Yeah, I think it's got to be your own.
That's an interesting line to walk down.
But I was going to say, when does it?
No.
Is it just what I feel is mine?
I feel like it's a lot of stuff.
I don't think we can get too deep on that.
I think it's got to be the sticker that just gives the damage in the DC.
Yeah.
Honestly, we'll just forget we have them anyway.
Let's be honest.
Sure.
And then in like three months, we'll be like, hey,
I didn't put one of these stickers on this thing.
Remember these stickers, guys?
And Russell will be like, what?
Well, it's good seeing you, everybody.
I hope to see you again soon.
No layaways.
There was talk about that.
Just want to make sure we cover all that before you go.
There was a look at the Sunspire, that one by Darylith.
Very nice.
Very nice blade.
It's so beautiful.
It's just, I don't know.
I need to kind of keep some spending gold, you know?
Of course.
Yes.
OK.
Well, next time you stop in, maybe there'll be a bigger sale going on
or maybe you'll have come into a little bit of wealth.
Maybe.
Maybe?
Thanks, man.
You guys go on ahead for a sec.
I just have one more question for Steveson over here.
OK.
Thanks so much, Steveson.
Yes.
Thanks, Steveson.
Have a great day, Glimon Moot.
All right, Sailor.
What can we talk about?
OK.
So I totally was drinking her fucking oat milk.
Uh-huh.
That's going to be real shitty for you then, isn't it?
Well, obviously I'm going to stop and...
I saw you took the quill, too.
I think they got the stickers to stop you from getting them.
Yes, obviously.
Anyway, that's not the point.
OK.
The point is I want to make repercussions about it, you know?
When you, like...
OK.
You know, to make up for it.
So...
Oh, reparations.
That's what I said.
And so I want to put...
I would like to take some of my gold here.
I'd like to take 50 gold.
OK.
And I want to put the sword...
On the sunspire?
The sunspire.
I want to put it on there as a layaway.
Oh, for Glim?
Yeah.
Or under your name?
Well, under my name.
OK.
I was going to say she didn't set up an account.
No, no, no.
This is getting shady gray areas that Moot was concerned about.
Under my...
Shh.
Keep your voice down.
They're just out there.
OK.
Under my name.
What's taking so long, do you think, Glim?
I bet he's looking through those click clackers, the Bahamut posters, and he just can't even
stop because they're all amazing.
Yes.
We can set you up an account.
You can put your 50 gold down.
Here?
And then I rip out a chunk of my hair.
Here?
Oh, it just needed one.
One?
You got 12?
Yeah.
You have a patch now.
I got a lot.
I can just...
Anyway.
So every time I go into a Zedmon, I can just keep putting some down.
You just lay it away.
And then eventually, that sword will be Glim's.
Yes.
It's been put...
I will take it off the shelves right away.
Yeah, you take that bad boy down.
It'll go into the pocket dimension.
You just take your time.
Awesome.
OK.
Thanks, ma'am.
Yeah.
He gives you all the account information.
We'll figure that shit out later because that's not interesting to talk about.
And you head back outside.
Thanks for waiting.
Those Bahamut posters.
Oh, you were?
Right?
I knew it.
I knew that's what you were looking at because it's just...
So good.
So Roma's like us, like where am I going to put that up?
It's not like I got a bedroom wall or anything, but I got some good ideas when I finally do
settle down.
Well, and now like as you drift off to sleep at night, you can just like picture
each of those amazing images and kind of like go through the clicky clacker in your
brain.
You know, just like thinking through each of them as you drift off to sleep.
That's what I do.
Absolutely.
Three of our heroes dream about Bahamut as we fade out on this episode.
The weirdest wet dream I ever had.
The song Long Road Ahead is by Kavin MacLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
All other music and sound effects can be found at epidemicsound.com or boomlibrary.com.
A huge thank you to our supporting producers, Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok, Mark Hartless,
Jack Green, Stevie, Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Christian Brown, Darylith, Devin
Michaels, Aaron Stevens, Luke Ickes, and Ray Sirbeck.
To find out more about how you can support Dumbgeons and Dragons, visit us at Patreon.com
slash dumb dragon cast, where you can have exclusive access to 50 plus hours of bonus
audio content, create in-game NPCs and items, as well as play games with the
cast.
Have a great week, and we'll talk soon.
The three of you stroll up one fine Sunday mor- no, I don't know what days are.
Glim, aren't you a cleric?
Yeah.
Well-
No, I'm not.
Sorry.
That's my other character.
She looks away from the Bahamut posters.
Yeah, I'm a cleric.
Wait, you totally threw off the sully bit I was doing and was like, oh, you
are?
No, I totally was like, yeah.
No, wait.
That's a yuggle.
Sorry.
That's fine.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.