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previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
What's your business in Tether?
In this particular case, we're mostly just on like bringing family back together and improving trade relations and you know just like one of those kind of boat trips.
It's got a flag on it and the it's a it's a it's a teddy it's a bear it's a teddy bear holding up a holding up a trout.
And we're gonna just give her a give her a go in the storm here with full sails and try not to get caught.
Oh, okay. What else should we do? Should we tie things down? Everything looks pretty tied down.
Yeah, if you got anything of great value, I'd probably put it below deck. Otherwise, bend over and kiss your butts and hopefully we make it.
Sully begins to fly.
This is not okay. Grab me with your lobster claw.
Breaking through this fog, which fog is weird in a hurricane. I don't know if anybody wanted to point that out.
No, we just want to let it go.
Are your hands covered in butter?
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More. He, him also with me today is Karla Maxted.
She, her. I am playing Glim. Also, she, her. Dragonborn PAlydin. Also.
Also. Amy More.
Also. She, her and I play Sullivan Slate. Lightfoot Halfling Rogue who goes by he, him.
And Tom Laird also.
He, him and I am playing Moot, a half-orc, wild magic sorcerer who also goes by he, him.
So many alsos.
Alsos.
Alsos. We could have mixed it up with some twos, but also felt right.
Alsos good.
Alsos good.
You know what also is good? Is anything else on Patreon? Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast. It's a good place also.
There's all sorts of bonus audio and all sorts of other things over at our Patreon.
Also hangouts.
Also hangouts.
Yeah, once a month.
And producer meetings. Game time.
And also, you get an episode dedicated to you.
Like today's patron, Emma Lorzo.
Thanks Emma.
Thanks Emma.
Thanks Emma. Happy to have you here.
You're also the best, Emma.
Also the best.
Thank you for also listening to us.
Now we have to hop back into high action.
Fuck it.
Let's play.
Is that why we went with like the subdued intro?
That's right.
Yeah.
Now it's going to start popping off.
High action!
Is it high action because I'm literally in the sky?
Literally in the sky.
We're going to pick up right where we left off.
No jumping.
No jump cuts.
It's windy.
It's raining.
Sully's in the air.
What's happening?
Things are flying off.
You see...
Hurricane.
Dorben screaming.
We've got to get to the end.
Where did you go?
I'm flying.
I'm going to try and I don't know but okay, here it goes.
And then I'm going to cast ensnaring strike at Sully to try to catch him with a mass of viney thorns.
Okay.
Magical vines.
Magical vines so that I can then grab him and then just reel him in.
Love it.
It's going to tickle.
Okay.
You cast it.
Is there a... how's the mechanic work?
Is it an attack?
I mean, I think I can just do it.
It's a strength check to get out of it.
I don't know, you could scream at me not to struggle.
Lean into it.
This one's fine.
Let the vines take you.
Goes against everything in my nature.
Vines shoot out.
Tiny thorns shoot out as well as they wrap around your leg.
Ow!
Oh, it's glimpses, Pokey.
I know, I'm sorry.
I'll heal you up a little bit when you get in but I'm just...
Okay, can you try...
Yeah, do that swimming thing.
You know, you're kind of moving your arms.
You're kind of pulling me by my leg.
I'm going in the opposite direction as I'm swimming.
Right.
I can back...
You know, I'm just going to...
Just relax.
I'm just going to let you out.
Just relax and I'm pulling.
Going limp.
Okay, you're getting closer.
Okay, and...
You're here.
Thanks.
You're here.
I guess I'm going to just have to hold onto you like...
Oh, no.
No, thank you, ma'am.
I'm not going to have this wrapped around my leg poking into...
I'm bleeding.
Do you want to see my blood?
Is everybody back on board?
I am bleeding.
All right, send up the flares.
You can do that, right?
You and me were shooting fire and stuff.
You could probably like...
Countermeasures.
Are people going to come and rescue us?
No, I meant like the smoke flares.
So we could be hidden.
Do we tell them where we're going?
Do you want him to throw seven different kinds of smoke?
Yes, that's what I was trying to say.
All right.
I don't know if I can do that.
Hang on.
Let me flip through my notebook for a second.
We just have to make it to the fog.
I'm going to heal Sully's ankle from my lay on hands pool
so that it's not injured.
I'm feeling very guilty.
Thank you.
All right.
Are there any flammable things that I can burn
that won't burn the boat if I'm burning something else?
Like what's on the deck?
There's tarps, right?
The ship that you're on?
Yeah, there's like fabric tarps.
I mean, they're all soaked.
Okay.
Because of the rain.
I don't really understand what the captain's asking us to do
because I feel like we're just drawing more attention to us.
But I do have a fire breath weapon.
So if all we need is some fire shooting into the sky,
I can do that, but not smoke.
It seemed he wanted smoke to like camouflage us.
Is that correct?
So maybe fire on damp fabric would just create smoke.
I mean, it might.
It's worth a shot.
Wouldn't ignite?
Okay.
Sully, come over here.
We'll pick up all this fabric or at least as much as we can hold
and we'll throw it off.
And while it's falling off the boat,
maybe Glim can hit it with that fire breath.
Sure.
Sully lets go of Glim.
He's been holding on to her.
And he starts to float into the air.
Well, now that Moons focused on a different plan,
I think his concentration on the fly spell is broken.
Is it?
Yeah.
Okay.
So.
See, he was probably concentrating on it
without even realizing he was concentrating on it.
Probably, yeah.
Oh, God.
Okay.
I think that was all your fault,
but I'm going to help you out with this top thing.
I mean, it's very magnanimous of you.
Hold on.
Why are we listening to the captain?
No offense, mister, but this is like a fucked up plan.
We can't do smoke.
They already know we're here.
Should we just aim for the inlet and then get off the fucking boat?
Yeah.
Grab an oar.
All right.
Okay.
Thank you, Sully.
Jeez, glad you could get that through your thick skull.
That's not very nice to talk to your friends like that.
Another boat pun.
A skull is a small oar.
How many oars are there?
Two.
This is a small boat, hey?
Sully, I really appreciate you teaching me
that sometimes you can question authority.
I'm going to start rowing.
Hold on.
Hold on a second.
I'm having such a hard time visualizing this boat
now that you've added oars into it.
I know.
Yeah.
I mean, every boat has oars just in case.
Of course they do, unless they're tall,
in which case you can't reach the...
Can we just dip our hands into the water?
Yeah.
So how is there a downstairs?
How is there a downstairs?
No, you can't dip your hands in the water.
That would be silly.
I mean, that does, I guess, kind of exist,
but there would have to be very deep harbors everywhere we went
because there would be a lot of boat
below the surface of the water.
Also, perhaps on the way down the stairs,
there are oars.
Yeah, that's what I said.
Well, I was picturing like...
In like the old...
Yeah, in like a massive old ship.
Slave boat.
Yes, exactly where you would go downstairs
and then there would be people rowing down there
is what I was picturing,
but I don't think that works.
You need one person on one side
and one person on the other.
And then just a lot of fucking hope.
That's all we got.
Two oars and a lot of hope.
So we're down there and it's...
Who is the other person on the other side?
I think this is going to be a strength thing,
so Sully is going to back out.
Sully and Jonathan.
Okay, good, because I was going to say,
otherwise we're just going in a circle.
Well, Jonathan's down there doing nothing, so...
Yeah.
The two of you could probably...
Yeah.
Absolutely, my minus one
and I'm sure his plus one is going to...
Yeah, I statted Jonathan.
Even right out.
No, you did not.
No, I didn't.
All right, so I'm here for mostly like motivation.
How's it going out there?
And we got to do this at the same time.
Not good, Jonathan.
Grab the oar.
All right, what do I do with it?
You row.
Row, row, row your boat.
Okay, that's great.
Gently down the stream.
Yeah, give us time.
Maybe pick up the pace a little bit.
A little bit faster
because we're trying to...
I shit the bed on my roll.
It's all I better do better.
I rolled a nat 20, motherfuckers.
Row this shit.
I wrote 21, so I guess Jonathan is just there
cheering, just setting the pace with his singing.
You two are fucking great.
We'll get out of the way.
These pirates won't know what hit them when we...
Win the day.
All right, let's do this thing.
The boat begins to course.
Maybe you can hit the edge of the storm again.
You've passed through the main bad part of it
and you're heading towards this
and Captain Dorban's up there
and you're up on top too.
And there's large cannonballs flying
and hitting into the water as you're going.
It feels like they got the oar sorted out down there.
And you start to make your way towards this fog
and as you hit this fog
or as this fog begins to envelop you
and the boat and the ship, I should say.
It's a ship.
It's not calling a boat.
Don't get down on it.
It's small, but it's mighty.
Who are you talking to?
Good tap talk for the ship.
You're doing a great job, buddy.
You're doing a great job, ship.
You feel like a little tingly all over.
A little energetic?
Yeah, like a movie.
Where are the tingles?
You got like the hair standing on end kind of tingle.
Sure.
You get a little energized, a little amped up.
And the more you get enveloped by this,
and you're seeing this very thick fog,
and you've cleared most of the storm,
you see just the outline of the trailing ship behind you.
Like, Dorban looks over at you and says,
Hey, you feeling all right?
Yeah, I feel good, but also different.
Well, it's very exciting there, you know.
A young lad like you probably hasn't seen that much excitement.
Well, I mean, I told you not a lot of time on a boat,
and yeah, let alone for pirate chase.
It seems like you're meant to come on to them 100%.
A little inexperienced lad like you.
I bet you haven't seen excitement like this.
Everybody else went down below deck.
We could be left moving with a predator.
No, we're so sorry.
It's like if you describe Star Wars
as an old man takes a young man to a bar.
Hi.
Well, I forgot what you've said, but...
Said I felt good.
Good, right on. Yeah, that's cool.
Cool. All right, let's see if we can lose these fuckers in this fog here.
Let's see how well they roll.
The waters are still now.
You hear the sounds of the oars hitting the surface of the water
and pulling you along.
And...
Dorben yells down and says,
hey, stop, stop, I think we've lost them.
Everybody comes back up and silent for a moment.
You hear yelling off in the distance.
Just orders being barked.
A lot of, can't see them, fog's too thick.
That's how he gives a silent thumbs up.
And then...
As you sit there in silence for a moment,
you hear the ship kind of move past.
You see just the barest image of it float by in this fog.
You don't hear them.
They've gone silent, too,
trying to hear any noise that your ship is making.
And they drift off the way you were going,
but they keep going.
You remain silent for some time
until Dorben kind of nods that he thinks it's okay.
And as you kind of stir
and begin to kind of take a look at the damage of the ship,
you hear a song echoing over the water towards you.
Everybody make a wisdom saving throw.
Oh, dear.
Well, seven.
Now you've gone and done it, Russ.
Our one weakness.
That's right.
Nineteen.
Thirteen.
The distance you hear.
That thong, the thong, thong, thong.
Ooh, let the dogs out.
So Sully and Jonathan.
My pony.
I'm done.
Sully and Jonathan, you feel overwhelmingly compelled
to find the source of this song.
Does anybody else hear that song?
Yeah, it sounds beautiful.
It's the most beautiful song I've ever heard.
It's so beautiful.
There's like a haunting aspect to it, though.
No, but like in your soul kind of thing.
It seems fine.
It's not really my thing.
It like shakes in your bones.
It makes you feel...
You're becoming a ghost right now.
But I think that it's probably really important
that we find where this song is coming from
because they can probably help us.
So I'm just going to...
It could be somebody in need.
It could be somebody who needs something.
So we're just going to have to go down the ladder
off the edge of the ship.
Jonathan, get the ladder.
Ten points to get the ladder.
OK, well, let's just take one step back.
If you were in need of something,
would your solution just be to softly sing about it?
I'm going overboard.
Jonathan begins to run towards the edge of the ship.
Damn it, Jonathan.
I want to tackle his legs
because I want to be the first to get there.
All right.
Make a dexterity check.
Or make it...
Well, you can make an attack, a strength attack.
Oh, OK.
As you're using your...
That's a three.
Solid.
Jonathan begins to run
and Sully just drops to the ground.
I want to be first.
And then scrambles up behind him.
And Jonathan is moving to jump up and off of the ledge.
Thorbin yells, stop them!
You're not going to get there first.
I pull him by his jacket.
I get one leg over.
I'm really short,
so I'm trying to hop over the edge of the boat.
It's difficult for me.
I'm going to try and grab them both.
Oh, there you go.
Scruff of the neck.
Pinching the ears.
Roll to grapple.
So roll a strength.
I'll just roll for strength then.
It's an 18.
Yeah, because they're not even really
paying attention to you.
So you definitely...
Also, much stronger.
I don't know about Jonathan.
Maybe he's really buff.
We haven't said.
I haven't seen him shirtless yet.
He's not really buff.
That works.
Okay, okay, you two.
It sounds fine, but it's not.
Let go.
Just...
Let go.
This is nothing to jump over the ship about.
Listen.
It's really...
Listen, I wouldn't expect you guys to understand.
You really haven't been anywhere,
but a song like this just doesn't come along.
And whoever's on the other side of it,
let me tell you,
probably my soulmates or something.
So...
That's what I was thinking.
Yeah, okay.
Nobody's your soulmate, Jonathan.
You're going to die alone.
We just got you out of the air though,
so I don't really want you now in the water.
Like, maybe we could all just stay on the boat.
Okay, and then we're going to all go together
to find the song.
We might do that, yeah.
From the boat.
Let's do it right now.
Let's do it now.
No, let's stay on the boat.
Buddy system.
Yeah, on the boat.
Me and Sully will go.
No.
You and...
No.
Captain?
How compelled am I?
Am I, like, fighting her compelled?
Yeah, I mean, she's got you by the scruff
and you're very small, so...
Well, true.
I could swing a few swings.
Shh.
Well, it all depends, like,
on how you just hold out.
It's an impossible dream.
I mean...
You see Captain Dorban looking out into the mist,
seeing if he can see anything.
He says, well, it could be...
could be a harpy, could be a siren.
I mean, both of those sound very bad.
They're not great.
They both kind of want to eat your eyes
and suck the guts out of you, so...
Oh, okay, you guys are going to stay here then.
Yeah.
I would...
Well, you know what?
You got to experience some things for yourself,
so I actually think it might be different this time.
Well, yeah, you don't know if you like it
till you try it.
That's right, so...
I agree, but maybe this one time,
we just put that one...
we sweep that one under the rug
and we just stay on the boat.
Yeah, no, I think I'm going to...
I just got to...
I just...
Glenn, listen, don't make me hurt you.
Just let me go and find my truth.
Yeah, we've got to find our truth.
Shut up, Jonathan.
I'm trying to back you up.
I know, but I'm getting there first
and you're just...
Mo, could you maybe...
I'm so sorry about this, you two.
I don't want to do it,
but I feel like you're not really giving me a choice.
Maybe we should tie them up or something?
Oh, okay.
I can't really just let my friend just...
No, we can't just...
I can't let my very, very good friend
and also Jonathan go...
I think she said she was my friend.
And just get their eyeballs eaten out
or some kind of mediocre music, honestly.
Yeah, it's really not very good.
Good luck tying this up
and the squirming that is happening
that Sully, the performance he's putting on is quite extreme.
Is Moot going to come help me to tie these guys up
because they're being very unreasonable?
I'm going to grab one of those tarps
and I'm going to try to wrap them in the tarp.
Just swaddle it.
That's nice.
Yeah.
Burrito-ing me.
Get the arms so it doesn't hit himself in the face.
Between Glim, Captain Dorban, and Moot,
I think you can overpower them.
So you swaddle them.
Both of you can make a wisdom saving throw again.
Quit playing games with my heart.
You can just hear it.
Yeah.
Distance.
Two.
Yep.
Three and add a negative one.
Jonathan, as he swaddled like a little baby,
he kind of comes out and comes to.
Sorry, everybody.
Sully, are you all right?
Shut up, Jonathan.
She loves me.
Oh, yeah.
Well, no.
She probably does love you.
It's OK.
I'm totally of sound mind now.
You can untie me.
OK.
Can you explain?
Who gagged Sully?
I don't remember gagging Sully.
No, he's having a hissy.
He's just like become non-verbal
because he's so upset.
You know, like one does.
They are not allowed to get to their siren.
That's right.
Yeah, I'm going to...
OK.
You got...
Don't...
I mean, he could be OK,
but don't untie him quite yet.
I'm going to go take a look at some of the damage
and see if we can't patch up a little bit here
before we move on.
But we're probably going to want to move on pretty quick.
It's just in case something comes out of the fog
and gets us.
And those other guys are still out there.
So, like, OK, do you want me to...
I'll just start collecting the wood scraps
and we can try and...
Please do.
Please do.
Put something together.
You can't fix my broken heart.
Well, time will heal that.
Heals all wounds.
I know it doesn't feel that way right now,
but he'll be OK.
Captain Dorban and Glim begin collecting scraps.
Moot, you're observing the two tiny babies.
And, like, you're...
That sensation that was going through you
hasn't gone away.
And it feels like it's growing.
Like, it's building up inside of you.
If I were to touch an inanimate object,
would it do anything to, like,
lessen this building up inside?
You know, like, when you have static
and you touch something and it, like, sets it off?
I mean, you can touch whatever you like.
I'm going to pat Sully on the head.
You pat Sully on the head
and nothing seems to transfer or move from you.
And this feeling still stays the same.
Don't touch me!
Unless, unless, unless, moot, moot, moot, listen.
Yeah? OK.
Listen, if you untie me, I swear to God,
I will never say a single bad thing again.
I'll never do a single bad thing again.
I'll give you back all the notebooks
that I took before.
Have you been saying bad things this whole time?
No, I just mean, like, I will try so hard
to be even better than I am right now,
but I just really need to do this one thing.
You know, you know, when you got to just,
you just got to be true to yourself, right?
You understand that, right, Moot?
I do.
Roll persuasion at disadvantage.
Because I'm in a burrito?
Because you're a tiny, small baby.
Well, I just rolled a nat 20,
so that's disappointing.
Back to back?
Maybe you'll do it again.
And a one.
So critically failed.
Feel free to play that as you will.
Moot, seriously, moot, moot,
I will fucking cut you.
Let me out of here.
Let me out of here right now.
I don't think that's really,
that's really necessary.
Maybe we'll just leave you in there
a little bit longer.
Have you calmed down a little bit.
You calmed down?
No, I'm pretty good.
Just going to go over here now.
They take like two steps away.
So you fixed a lot of,
yeah, you said you were in a rowboat.
You haven't fixed a lot of ships.
You fixed a lot of things?
I'm sorry, I'm not good at small talk
when we're trying to just do a little work.
We don't even have to make small talk.
If you just want to give me clear instructions,
I'm happy to just get to work.
We don't have to.
I've been giving clear instructions
this whole time.
What are you saying?
Oh, well, I wouldn't say that.
Oh, where'd you come from?
Oh, I thought you were watching
the tiny babies.
I took a couple steps away from Sully.
He was being belligerent.
Your dingleberry is feeling okay?
What?
Well, you said you were
tingling in the...
I said the bathing suit area.
Love him.
Now you are a predator.
Fuck.
I was just going to say.
What are you talking about?
We left him alone with the captain.
I'm even an adult.
Is there something going on with your,
are you, mood, is there?
I don't know.
I feel a little weird.
Did something happen when we were rowing?
Well, I just, I feel a little weird.
I don't really know what's going on.
In your private parts?
No, no, no, just kind of all over.
I guess there as well, but mostly all over.
Okay, okay.
You see the hair on my arm?
It's kind of standing up.
Oh, yeah, yeah, you got that turkey skin.
Yeah, I'm not really sure why that's happening.
I'm not sure why any of this is happening.
Glam, you just got to put the wood down on the deck.
And then we'll...
I started calling Goose Flesh Turkey Skin as a joke.
Now it's hardwired into your brain?
Now it's what it is.
Now I just said it as if that's what it's called and it's not.
I said it and I was like,
Why did everyone make a weird face?
Oh, God.
At least we got the name of the episode down.
Right.
Didn't mean to do that.
So I'm going to go down and get a hammer and nails.
You just lay out some boards here as best you can
and we'll patch it up so that the water doesn't come down.
And if we get another storm, all right.
Okay, okay.
So Moot, you're not feeling drawn to the music or anything, are you?
No, it's just I feel, I don't know, not that I have more energy personally,
but that there's more energy on me.
Does that make any sense?
Well, I mean, sometimes when I really feel like Bahamut is with me,
it's like the air is charged.
Okay, yeah, yeah, kind of like that.
Do you think Bahamut is with you?
That would be so cool if he was.
I mean, I've heard so much about him.
You just talk about him nonstop and I haven't ever met him.
He would totally help us out.
He'd sing a way better song.
Oh, yeah, I would assume so.
That song just it wasn't good.
I don't know why Sully is all like into it.
Sully, how are you doing?
Shut up unless you can untie me.
Still not great.
Not great.
Make another saving throw.
There you go.
Eleven.
Ooh, it's significantly higher.
You did it.
Did I really or are you just saying that I did it?
No, you did it.
I did it?
Yeah, you met it.
Oh my gosh, Glim, I'm so sorry.
Listen, listen, I think I was under some spell.
It sure seemed that way.
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, it seemed, yes.
I'm wrapped really tight in you.
It's cozy though, right?
Yeah, it's kind of like relaxing and comforting at the same time.
It's nice.
Yeah, kind of.
That's what I was thinking.
Like with the sway of the ship.
I haven't been held like this in a long time.
It's the middle baby and we got some stuff to talk about like our new show.
Like our new show.
It's middle time.
Yeah.
New show you say.
Well, a new season of our show, Facing Fate, you might have heard of it.
We're very proud of it.
And we'd love for you to go listen to Facing Fate Black Knight over in the Facing Fate feed.
Please go listen to it.
It's very good.
We really like it.
I mean, we're a little biased, sure.
But I think if anything, we're probably biased to not like it because we're those sort of people.
So what I'm saying is if we say that it's good, you're going to like it.
And it's different.
It's not going to be like anything you've heard before.
We have a lot of fun making it.
And that's always like a telltale sign for me is when we're having a lot of laughs around,
I would say the table, but over the Zoom call that I'm usually really looking forward to hearing the end product.
Yeah.
We've been talking for a minute and a half and we've said absolutely nothing about what this season is about.
So what Facing Fate Black Knight is about is it's a show within a show.
So we each play several different characters on this live action role playing reality TV show with a dark comedy horror twist to it.
That's all I can reveal to you, because if I give you any more, then it reveals things.
I was going to say, that's all you get.
But it all will be revealed as you as the episodes are released and you listen to them and think, what are they doing?
I love it.
It's so crazy.
How on earth did they come up with this?
The feedback I've seen so far is it's such a departure.
It's working so well.
Oh, all right.
Thank you, Veritas over in Discord.
I feel those are accurate.
So each episode that I've been editing, like basically up until the time it releases, because that's how I work.
It's just getting better and better.
It's like we planned it this way, but we did.
We did.
Yeah.
But we did.
Absolutely.
So you can find Facing Fate wherever you download podcasts.
And we've got three other seasons up there that you can go listen to.
But Black Knight is the newest one and it will have new episodes every Monday until.
Until they're done.
Until they're done.
Kind of mid-August.
So I put 10 episodes this season and we should be seeing.
But thank you for listening to us and to that.
And now we'll get you back to this show, Dumbgeons and Dragons, which you're listening to.
Thank you.
I guess we could have unswaddled Jonathan at any time.
He seemed to get over the song pretty fast.
He did.
He did.
But I mean, the captain said to maybe keep him wrapped up.
And I know, Sully, you're right.
I don't always need to do what the captain says because sometimes his ideas don't make sense and are kind of bad.
But it's a hard habit to break.
Well, I get it.
I get it.
But sometimes you've got to break those rules.
How about breaking these ropes off of me?
Well, I found the hammer and nail.
What are you doing?
Don't let them out.
What if they're just trying to tell you that they're not calling the siren?
Well, it's just it seemed like they really couldn't help it when they were being called.
And now they're sort of just more normal.
Sully was being quite abrasive before.
I'm real sorry about that.
I mean, more than usual.
All right.
Well, you got to go swimming after them if either of them jump off.
Is my personality too abrasive?
I'm going to take a deep, hard look inside of myself.
You got to go swimming after them if they go jumping off.
I'm going to go hammer down those boards and we'll get going here.
No, don't worry.
I'm not going to go in.
Number one, can't really swim.
Number two, like, I mean, I'm not going to let some watery bitch call me to my grave.
Come on.
We got things to do.
A trade deal to broker?
Yeah.
Well, I was going to say like a destiny.
But yeah, you know what?
Of course, you're right.
It's so silly.
I was getting kind of lost in the minutia there.
That's what I meant was we have a destiny to save the world.
And we can't do that if you get your eyes plucked out by a siren.
Yeah, absolutely.
So I'm just going to wiggle toward you, meet you halfway, you know?
Silly starts trying to roll.
But now all that hip action from when you were going up the mast actually sort of helps.
I'm inchworming my way over.
As you begin to roll, you feel like there's like a wave rushes up against the boat
and like it starts to rock and sway back and forth quite, not like heavily,
like it's going to flip or anything, but like something has bumped up against it.
Oh, OK.
I'm going to get you out of your little swaddling there because maybe there's a,
I don't know what, but let's get you guys out of there.
I think there's like an angry beaver something under there.
Yeah, it's going to be bigger than a beaver.
We got to get going.
OK.
Well, we don't have a sail.
Who's on rows?
Yeah, yeah, I can row.
Yeah, I can do it too.
Great, great.
The two of you head down and start rowing.
And as you do, everybody on top of the ship,
so Jonathan Sully and Captain Dorban,
you see this wave arc up and over top of the boat and slam down on top.
13 bludgeoning damage to the ship as this water elemental
crushes down on top of the ship and wells up beside.
Oh, what the fuck is wrong with this water?
Roll for initiative.
21.
15.
7.
Sully, you're up first.
I am.
This large water elemental is now up and over the side of the ship.
It has just crushed down in.
It's your turn.
Like, what does it look like?
Like a giant, like, wave of, like, energy moving through it.
Like, the edges are cresting, like, the crest of a wave.
So, like, when the ocean plays with Moana a little bit?
Mm.
OK, but, like, less playful and more, like...
Trying to crush you.
Trying to crush you.
Me too.
All right, slice of water seems kind of silly, but it's all I got.
OK, and I take my frightful sword of reflection and I go to slice through the water.
All right.
That's for a 20, not nat.
That will hit.
So that's nine damage.
Glim, it's your turn.
So you felt, like, this crush down on top as you've gone down to hit the oar.
Can I attack the water out the hole where the oar is going out?
What do you want to hit it with?
Because the hole's going to be...
Well, the oar, obviously.
Like, porthole size.
Yeah, I think then, yeah, I guess my only point of attack is, like, this tiny hole,
which isn't really going to...
Can you cast a spell for me?
Oh, actually, you know what?
How big is this boat?
It's very small, we've been told.
It's very small.
I can just go upstairs on my movement and attack the...
You can just go upstairs.
Yeah.
What the fuck was that?
No, you must attack through the tiny hole and only the tiny hole.
I just want to let you puzzle it out.
Okay.
So I'm going to go upstairs and I'm going to use the Vorpal Sword, but I also...
My attack happens, I'm going to do something else.
So I'm going to attack the water with my sword.
Okay.
Like you do.
It's a 15.
15 will hit.
Great.
11 slashing damage, but I'm also going to use Divine Smite,
so I get to do some radiant damage to...
Radiate that water.
19 radiant damage to the water.
What?
Bam, bam.
Tell me what it looks like when you rush up and call upon the gods.
Well, so I run up with my sword and slash at the water,
and then sort of this divine glow comes out of the sword,
and I feel like it weirdly cuts through the water as if you were cutting
through butter or something, or almost like it sears it.
Like maybe it goes...
Like it steams a little bit because it's kind of burning it.
Yeah, and you caught it at a point...
So steam is created.
Like a water limb falls off, and it feels like it's getting smaller
with that hit.
Absolutely.
It's Dorben's turn.
All right, well, you're all doing a great job, okay?
I'm here just to tell you, I've been a little harsh on you.
I thought you did a bad job when we lost the sail.
I thought you did a bad job when we tore up the things,
but really all of this is leading to this moment,
and you're doing great work.
Real team.
Building camaraderie.
Yeah, Dorben, we're doing a great job, aren't we?
Yeah, absolutely.
This is him inspiring you all and giving you advantage
on your next attack.
Is this...
Is now the time to have this conversation?
Absolutely it is.
Look at the situation.
We've got a water elemental.
I mean, the siren hasn't stopped singing,
but we seem to be okay with that,
so we're just moving along from that one.
And I think this is really going to work out for us.
I'm just going to...
Oh, you're back up, so you're not going to row.
I'm going to go down and see if I can start rowing.
You're doing great work, everybody.
I'm going to take Jonathan with me.
Jonathan, let's go row.
Row, row.
No, not sing.
No, the singing helps.
He'll get you really jacked up.
You'll get into the time of it, yeah.
The two of them go down and begin rowing.
You begin lurching forward,
and the elemental begins following you.
Moot, it's your turn.
Did anyone else feel like that was a pretty backhanded compliment?
Yeah, they'll bet.
But at the same time, it makes me want to prove them wrong.
Yeah, so it's kind of inspiring.
We are doing a great job, actually.
We've had no instruction.
We're doing great.
I think we're doing a great job.
Let's get this.
Let's do it.
Let's see what Moot's got on hand here.
A lot of magic missiles looking at me dead in the face.
Well, my other stuff is very much fire based.
Yeah, me too.
And I don't think that's going to be super helpful at the moment.
So let's cast magic missile.
Let's throw some glowing magical darts at this asshole.
All right, auto hit.
Roll me some damage.
Auto hit.
And I've got three of them.
Four and one is five.
And another four is nine force damage.
Oh, ten force damage because there's a plus one on there.
Your magic missiles explode up and into this water
and ripple through it.
And the energy is dispersing.
Each one should be plus one, so 12 total damage.
And it just is a little bit more than you thought it was
just a second ago.
And I'm not going to get you to roll a d20
because that energy that you're feeling built up,
you get the tingles, it just explodes.
So just roll the percentile.
Oh, boy.
All right.
Yeah, this is what they call wild magic fog that you're in.
So every time you cast a spell, it's just going to do it.
How is that even a thing?
I said the same thing today.
He really needed this fog.
And then I found it.
I'm into it.
OK, here we go.
That is a 23.
Magic missiles and then better just a little bit before.
And then your skin you see in your hands
and it begins to like crawl up.
You turns a vibrant shade of blue.
OK, does anything else come along with this?
No.
OK.
You're just a vibrant shade of blue.
Hey, Moot.
Yeah.
Your skin's all fucked up.
Yeah, it's blue.
Yeah.
Is that supposed to happen with that spell?
I don't think so.
All right.
Well, it looks good on you, buddy.
Oh, thanks.
It really brings out your eyes.
You look great.
With that, the water elemental slams down
on top of you, Moot.
That's a natural 20.
Oh, shit.
Is this hit for Moot?
But you were blue, which camouflaged you
and the water couldn't really see you
because you kind of already look like water.
Right.
How many hit points do you have?
That's a great question.
I don't want to tell you.
I just want you to tell me how much damage I've taken.
Don't look at mine.
Well, then you take 26 bludgeoning damage.
Oh, yeah, that's more than enough.
Oh, my God.
So Moot goes down.
He's blue, but he goes down hard.
Moot's looking at his hands
and then it comes down on top of him
and he crumples to the deck, unconscious.
Holy shit.
Sully's turn.
Russ, one quick thing before that happens.
I have a trait as a half-orc.
When I am reduced to zero hit points
but not killed, I can drop to one hit point instead.
Relentless endurance.
Go half-orc.
Yeah, that's nice.
OK, retake.
Moot goes down hard.
You hear this like breath
as he kind of like gets back up onto his knees.
Oh, thank fuck Jesus.
Really cool.
He's still alive.
I'm OK.
Sounded like the captain.
He was waking up.
Somebody wake up.
Just a little bit.
Sully is going to slash at it again.
No, he's not.
He's going to reroll that because it was a one.
Jeez.
Real swings today.
Yeah.
OK, that's only a 13.
Doesn't hit.
OK.
But then, once per long rest,
Sully, can you shimmer gloom,
which is the dragon-hilt head
of the sword of frightful reflection,
to make an enemy of my choice become frightened
upon failing a con save.
All right.
We are killing it with using things today, guys.
We really are.
I don't know if water can be frightened, though,
but I'm just pulling it out.
Let me check the condition immunities.
Frightened is not listed.
Although, I have to admit, full credit goes to D&D Beyond
because when I downed my hit points,
it was like, hey, do you want to use this thing?
Oh.
It's like, oh, yes, I do.
Thanks, D&D Beyond.
7 on the die plus 4 is 11.
Sully goes to, like, lean forward
in, like, a intimidating kind of way,
like, huh, expecting to scare it off.
It's like a little shimmer or, like, ripple in the water.
Can I roll again
because I was given advantage from that rousing speech?
It was inspiring.
OK.
Good remembering.
I'd already forgotten that happened.
It just came to me.
You're welcome.
19.
That will hit.
OK, here we go.
I'm all lost.
10 slashing damage.
All right.
Oh.
Well, because I didn't think of it
because I was able to reroll my 1 as my thingy
and it hurt me until after.
Yeah, that's fair.
I did it.
You did it.
You strike into it.
It is not frightened, and it is Glim's turn.
Am I able to do an attack
and also touch my friend with my action?
I'd say you're all pretty close.
I do both of those things?
Like, it's not a bitch.
OK.
So, yeah, sure.
It's more of a boat.
No, for sure.
It's all down to me.
Don't hurt.
Come on now.
We've already covered this.
Appreciate it.
OK, then I am going to attack again
with the Vorpal Sword, which is a 25.
Yep.
Ooh, baby.
Bad roll, but 8 damage.
And then I'm going to use my Lay on Hands pull
to heal up Moot a bit, which is, I have 15.
So we'll say 14?
Sally was just being a little bit of a baby.
Yeah.
OK.
Yeah, you strike in and then reach down to Moot,
who's still trying to catch his breath.
This radiant light begins to glow on you, Moot,
and you feel the energy come back.
You're able to catch your breath,
and you feel a little bit more strength in order to...
So wait, do I feel like the same amount of energy
I had before the last time?
Oh, yeah, your wild magic is popping off.
OK.
Absolutely.
Yeah, I'm talking like physical energy,
not like your tingly bits, your dingleberry energy.
Oh, OK, because that's what I thought you meant,
and I was like, OK.
Yeah, no, but definitely your dingleberry energy
is strong with this one.
I don't approve of that name.
Dorban's still row, row, row.
He's still doing OK.
I feel like we're making good headway.
No.
OK, keep rowing.
We're barely out of the fog.
Moot, your turn.
OK, I guess magic missile again.
Six and four is 10 force damage on that one.
It hits and then rocks back,
and it slows its pace a little bit at this point.
And roll percentile dice, please.
That is a 19.
You can cast grease centered on yourself.
It doesn't say you do.
No, it does.
You cast grease centered on yourself.
Because all of a sudden he's got chills
and he's multiplying.
Losing control.
So yeah, your magic missiles go off,
and then, Glim, you're right close to him.
Magic grease covers the ground in a 10-foot square
centered on a point within range
and turns it into difficult terrain for the duration.
When the grease appears,
each creature standing in it
must succeed on a dexterity saving throw
or fall prone.
So we're all like whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop,
on the ground.
Benny Hill starts up, and so,
I mean, 10 feet, so Glim for sure.
Maybe Sully's out of this
because a lot's happened to him already.
Yeah, yeah, Sully's out of it.
So just Glim.
Dex saving throw, you said?
Yep.
And it's centered on yourself,
so you gotta make it two there.
16.
14 for Moot.
So it would be against your spell save DC there, Moot.
Spell save DC's 13.
It gets slick, so it's difficult terrain,
so half speed movement,
but it's slippery.
But on the positive side,
it's also hard to stand up.
And shiny.
That's right.
And that duration is for one minute.
And we definitely don't want any fire now.
No.
The water elemental's gonna take one more swing at you here.
And try and...
Grease and water repel each other,
like you know when you put...
Yeah, maybe.
I feel like that's actually helpful for us.
Could be.
Everybody as...
Yeah, let's do it.
Let's see what happens.
The wave wells up and over the ship
and slams down on top.
Everybody has to make a...
Everybody who's on top, which is the three of you,
has to make a strength saving throw.
Why is all the saves the stuff I can't do?
I don't know.
Why are we fighting a water creature
when two of us have so many fire powers?
Eight.
Russ.
It's like the deck is really stacked against us here.
12.
Eight.
But can I do it again,
because I'm inspired and greasy?
Oh.
The greasy part doesn't help,
but yes.
I mean, I was inspired as well.
Yeah, I don't think you've used your advantage yet,
so yeah.
20.
Greasy.
I will stick with the original 12, thank you.
Okay, on a failure,
a target takes 13 bludgeoning damage.
You don't have to say it like that, Russ.
Oh God.
So you're gonna take 13 bludgeoning damage.
Okay.
If it is large or smaller,
it is also grappled.
Until this grapple ends,
the target is restrained
and unable to breathe unless it can breathe water.
The saving throw is successful.
The target is pushed out of the elemental space.
So, yeah, Sully and Glim,
you just wash away up to the sides of the deck,
but then you look back
and you see Moot up inside this water elemental,
spinning and churning within it.
So, yeah,
I will stick with the original 12, thank you.
Tumgeons and Dragons, Season 2, Episode 87,
starring Amy More as Sully,
Carla Maxted as Glim,
Tom Laird as Moot,
and Russ More as your dungeon master.
Editing, production, and sound design by Russ More.
This episode featured music from Kavin MacLeod
and Epidemic Sound,
and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,
Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.
A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok, Mark Hartless,
Stevie, Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
Christian Brown, Devin Michaels, Aaron Stevens,
Eric Houlihan, and Ray Serback.
To support Dumbgeons and Dragons
and help us reach 85 patrons within our community,
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please join our Patreon at Patreon.com
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Thank you for listening.
You have a great week,
and we'll talk again soon.
Begin to start rowing.
Again.
Begin to start.
Always beginning to start.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.