DUMBGEONS & DRAGONS

Season 4 • April 09, 2025

We Need To Go!

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Looking for Dumbgeons and Dragons? Well, you found the right place. We'll begin in a moment.

We see a picture of this quaint little home with a white picket fence sitting in the

middle of an open field. That house begins to shake back and forth and sound emanates from

it and windows smash. We see fire pouring out of those windows. Inside we see Bonwyn rushing

room to room lighting anything she can on fire as Bizard walks down the seemingly endless hallway

being chased or at least slowly cornered by more and more of these instrument monsters that

have come to life. Upstairs Kavlaran you've knocked down Alydin's parents and Alydin you

sit up in bed and throw your legs over and go to stand up and you stumble and fall forward.

Kavlaran make a dexterity saving throw please or no not a saving throw because you're not in

danger. Make an athletics or make a don't let the child hit the floor. Gotcha.

Operation continue saving Alydin. She didn't even expect to see me here.

Right and then she totally wasn't even stoked when I busted in the door like what the fuck.

Oak would have been so happy to see me. Maybe it's Kavlaran the heroic, Kavlaran the magnanimous,

like now it's a whole different thing. He's saving people. Kavlaran the ever giving.

Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast and I'm your dungeon master Russ More

he him. Also with me today is Amy More as Alydin she her. Do you want to kill them

before we go? Carla Maxstead as Bonwyn Everbane she her. You would recognize that booty.

Tom Laird is Kavlaran Goldweave he him. Cav used to be a touring musician so he's

well familiar with destroying hotel rooms thank you. And Kyle Claset is Bazaar the Wizard

he him. This is a problem. Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon supported podcast.

You can join us today at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast where you'll get access to

hangouts backstage access recordings a whole lot of extra episodes and we know you love those

so come come give it a try plus when you sign up before the end of April 2025 you're going to

save 25% off your first month or your first year 25% off your first full year is a pretty

great deal if I don't say so myself patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast we hope to see you over

there and now fuck it let's play uh that is a 13 to acrobatics okay yeah you like catch

her arm as she falls forward Alydin you feel weak like you you felt this these waves come

throughout your stay in this ethereal home um but you feel like walking is difficult

at this moment like you're trouble grasping at things I think I'm as you go no you go ahead

uh I was gonna ask like Russ uh is there anything like is Alydin saying anything like mumbling and

coherently or just quiet or will Amy take it away Amy is Amy is still in full control she

just is losing yeah so yeah sorry I think I'm gonna just need a little help or like a sec

I don't I don't want to stay can I can you help me get it I need to get out yeah we have to get

out of here 100 kid uh let's get out let's do it desperate to know if Alydin lets that kid

pass because she's in a weakened state or points it she does she lets it go

oh wow okay it's not the time it's not just maybe not but I'm filing it away yeah

you only get so many thank you something calves not used to a big check mark for the knocking

down the parents and rescuing but like a small negative for the kid yeah Alydin will remember

this you're on the list condescending twice on the third time it doesn't go over well for

anybody okay um and you russ you mentioned I saw a glint and I thought it was in music box

or did I just fill in the the background yeah so uh just to reset that part of the scene so on

the dresser there is a music box that is continually playing it has been for as

long as you've been in the space um below the dresser it looks like there's a broken

floorboard and something metallic caught your eye underneath this floorboard okay and that's

below the dresser yeah like yeah it's like the the leg of the dresser is like on top of it

a little bit like kind of leaning in a little bit yeah all right um as I as I catch Alydin

and say that we should get out of there um I take a bit of a closer look at the

parental figures I guess do their music boxes like kind of match the one that's on the

dresser like their music box heads uh like design wise just if they have like any

yeah um yes there are definite similarities like in the style of of wood that appears to be

making up whatever the head structure is um a lot of the engravings and carvings along the

side appear very similar to the smaller box and they both have the same spinning uh we say

ballerina yeah we both have the same spinning ballerina and as you've knocked them down

all three do have the same winding mechanism just obviously larger in scale okay um as I see

this on the two I knocked down and on the dresser I like with my other free arm that hasn't caught

Alydin I want to like pull the dresser over and like throw it to the floor sort of thing

okay uh make a strength check please you're fucking trashing my room absolutely

actually even though Alydin spent all the day before just just trashing the room just

trying you can't be a touring musician so he's well familiar with destroying hotel rooms thank

you yeah uh oh and you said strength yes please 16 okay uh yeah you pull Alydin out

of the way and throw this down um which um drawers start to to pour out but yeah

crashes down to the ground that leaving that floorboard open if that's what you were

yeah I was kind of wondering if the floorboard like springs open at all like it was holding it

down or kind of what's going on yeah like pulling it forward like it even cracks into

the floorboard more and then the leg itself pulls it up uh like splintering the floorboard

which does appear secured closer to the wall um but yeah splinters it open so that you can

see further inside um and it looks like there is a how musical is how um would he know what a

tuning fork is or do you want me to describe it as Kavlaran would see it if he doesn't know

what a tuning fork uh Kavlaran thinks it's like a fancy hot dog roaster yes exactly

just a really short one yeah just like a really small one yeah like a travel size yeah

so yeah the small and he's gonna grab it okay what are you doing I think like this

caught my eye I think we should take it well then I'm like you know I like shiny things I'm taking

I kind of lean that awkward thing where he's holding me up by my arm but I'm reaching in

the opposite direction like like an a-hole um and I want to pick up which I'm assuming the music

box that fell off of the dresser didn't break no no of course it didn't I want it landed

actually pristine on the bed which was just equidistant from where the dresser had fallen

it is made of wood there's a lot of fire in this house yeah I'm

I assume I can smell that smoke yeah yeah I think we need to take this stairs yeah

uh okay you grab the music box you grab the tuning fork um do you want to kill them before

we go I just wasn't expecting that yes I don't know I think we should just go

oh okay

disappointing fine another strike

jump back into initiative order downstairs bizarre this hallway is not ending and now everything

that was in the hallway so all of the violins the trumpets um the cello is still trying to

track down Bonwyn so yeah the trumpets and the violins are like climbing the walls and the

floors making their way towards you you still have mage hand holding your tuning fork down

closer to the door my my mage hand's just gonna move to me and I'm gonna take possession of

the actual tuning fork uh and before striking it or I'm not gonna strike it this time how

many how many violins are there I think we said three there are three violins

perfect then I am going to uh I'm going to take my blade and I'm actually gonna like

run the uh run the tuning fork along the edge of it creating a spark and using that to launch

scorching rays cool and uh so I'm gonna do a do a ray at each each one okay love it well

roll that that's a 12 to hit on the first one 24 on the second and 15 on the third

all three of those hit beautiful the first one takes 10 damage second one takes

eight damage and the third one takes nine damage that seems like a lot that does seem

like a lot of damage yeah scorching rays go um and like um all three of these violins as they

are their strings are moving them down the hall like they light on fire and like continue

to move their way down the hall towards you that was my action I still have blades ongoing

uh I am going to I'm gonna stand my ground okay yeah I'm gonna stand my ground and wait

right where I am okay Bonwyn you're in the dining room uh the cello is making its way

down to this this doorway that you are in there are no more egresses you've reached like the end

of end of the house as far as you're concerned um so dining room table there are three chairs

looks like it was set for a another set for a meal um there's a sideboard in this room a

window outside which as you look out it is um like pitch black night like you can see the

faintest wavings in the trees um and as you look into those trees you see the moonlight

glint off of the mannequin children that are all lined up along the tree line what about

those guys they're made of wood too oh what have I done stay there you turn back and face

the cello and um the table is set make and what are you better at investigation or perception

oh probably neither let's see um investigate oh definitely investigation okay roll investigation

please roll perception something looks off 23 okay yeah something looks off and you're

looking and there's there's perfect table setting for two of two of the three settings

the final one where there should be a fork you see a tuning fork which I think you know

in asking cav that question valid but Bonwyn would know because you could have made them

could have made them yeah I get a lot of magazines with all kinds of different

metal working in it so I've seen lots of different projects yeah so you see where

on this third spot there is a tuning fork where the fork would be normally placed

cool and cello straight out the door in front of you kitchen on fire

well my main plan was light everything on fire and I've done that I came here to

save Alydin and light some fires and I haven't found Alydin so you also would have heard

bizarre's first attempt at the tuning fork down from the front entry like

well that's what I was gonna say like I have been presented with a new thing to do

so I think I would I would um do that and maybe just uh like I said I have that that

little hammer so I would take it out and like you know try and get get a good ring off

that tuning fork all right off a piece of metal so you run you run over rush over to the table

not run it's not a big room so you rush over to it grab it and and make it ring make an

arcana or performance check please 10 same better than what I did same as I had previously

described for bizarre so you strike it and this note rings out and it's like visually like

there is a um expansion of energy that comes out from this which is unlike anything you've

ever seen look at all the house around you none of this is normal everything is yeah it

moves out into the space and and as it moves out into the space like you see the cello be

pushed back and against the wall and then it sucks back into the tuning fork and finishes

its ring how far is the cello from me uh and it's like between me and the door obviously

because it followed me in there yeah it was coming into the door so like you pushed it

back out into the hallway so um let's say like 15 15 feet because this is okay so it's always

space yeah what would on when do everything's on fire she tried the tuning fork

she's trying to see like what else have I got here oh how about this guys it's a classic oh

it's a classic oh the cello's back in the hallway yeah so you're alone in this space really

the only person can you just duck down when the cello comes and looks back in it's going to be

like oh she's not here oh yeah that's actually hilarious i'm going to open the window okay

and then i'm gonna i'm gonna duck under the uh the table i don't know how this thing sees

if it just senses me i don't know sure but um for now because in case it like wanders away

i don't need to engage with it i might just be able to like sneak out behind it

i don't know what it's gonna do it's fine it's fine i got you yeah okay so cello knocked back

out you're going to go slide open the window uh make a stealth roll stealth check i am actually

good at that so that's a 19 okay cool so you are hiding under the table the table has

a tablecloth on it um so yeah it provides you a little extra cover but that is a good roll so

we'll check in when the cello gets back around and that's where you are holding for now

yeah i think so because i definitely like clearly saw something happen with the tuning fork so i'm

just gonna try that again got it unless something else crazy happens which seems likely

some weird weird shit happening okay weird shit going on

welcome to the middle everybody thanks for being here

hey this banjo man he's he's kind of scary he's definitely a thing i don't like him i don't you

know what amy i don't like him either i don't say that a lot no but i do not like him or

this song that i i literally just imagine poor Alydin has been hearing the same like

how am i not taking psychic damage right how am i not just bat shit crazy like it would

i guess you would eventually just tune it out probably because that's what we do as humans but

my goodness well and as a child though repetition is something that that's right you know see i'm

more into early banjo man this new stuff yeah that's fair before he signed to that major

label got kind of commercial yeah yeah totally totally get it um but yeah no it's it's a great

time and we're having fun uh we're we're live live live streaming to some of our patrons

over there we do that that's a lot of fun um and i mean becoming a part of the community

a lot of people have been jumping on board because we've got that 25 off your first month

or first year yeah that's a great deal it's a no-brainer uh i think so i think many people

think so uh so patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast come on over have some fun have a great time

you get an episode dedicated to you like today's patron donna newton thanks donna

god i love the name donna i know we mention names every time

um but i just like it i like it too i i think it's kind of due for a resurgence don't you think

i also i think so yeah i bet in like five years it's going to start happening again

with babies because it hasn't been in a while yeah true all right let's put it out there

we're bringing donna back uh or donna's bringing donna donna's bringing donna back

we're gonna thank you for bringing yourself donna yeah appreciate donna we appreciate you

all i can think is she's bringing donna back yeah anyway thanks donna thank you for being here

donna we hope to see you over on patreon patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast 25 off

until the end of the month uh come on over it's a great time uh but now we'll get you back to

the episode and we'll talk to you very very soon love you bye love you bye trumpets turn

they are have stopped moving the trumpets they're close enough so they are going to

let out that same ear-splitting swell and burst so can i get a constitution saving throw from you

bizarre this is a problem no no violins that's a five yes okay in a 30-foot cone this swell and

burst of compressed air flings itself towards you uh you're going to be shot backwards 10

feet and take four thunder damage as you are knocked back uh make a dexterity saving throw

to avoid being knocked prone all right that's a 21 okay so yeah you managed to stand your

ground but yeah you have been moved back 10 feet the violins that are on the walls also

had to save against this because it covered everything the fire that you lit extinguishes

on them but they are tumbled forward and two of them break apart um and you see their their

strings trying to like reach for the parts and pull themselves back together um one the final

one is like crawling now on the ground towards you piano stuck in piano room uh we're not

going to worry about that uh however it is the cello's turn piano had to be built and

airlifted into that room yeah i think the piano was assembled in that room right like how

wide is the door yeah the cello moving itself back into the room um you hear it like stomping

it's on its foot and like the strings are like holding it's propping itself up as

it moves into the space and over to the window it's going to turn back into the room

and let out a deep vibrating note all creatures within 30 feet that's you Bonwyn must make a

wisdom saving throw but with advantage right because my because my earplugs nice with advantage

uh sorry you said wisdom wisdom yeah okay that one was a 15 and that one was also a 15

so it's a 15 so you are under this table you've got the the tuning fork in hand um the cello lets

out this deep vibrating note that shakes the bones in your body and even though you have your

your ears plugged like you feel this what can only be described as like a paralyzing

nostalgia come over you and you feel a sense of dread for a moment you see visions flash quickly

of childhood homes and loved ones and all these places where you feel safe and then they all

crumble splintered into wood and churning darkness but you saved so all of that disappears

as you come back to the space Alydin upstairs Kavlaran has you by the arm but in like a nice

way in a supportive way yeah yeah of course you've got the two parents behind you door in front of

you chaos sounds like it's coming from downstairs did you guys find cedric

which one was cedric again

i mean you gotta be true to character right no i i don't know i i don't have all you kids

look the same i'm sorry i'm just leaning into it now i love this like awkward uncle

never been around kids i don't really know how to act around kids i love that it's so good

that's awesome Alydin kind of gives him one of like these what like look at him just like

cedric has a very unique appearance you don't yeah i don't think tom was actually

face blindness so it's totally fun yeah no i love it i love it you're never gonna find gorsh

again no gorsh was he doesn't have but blindness but he doesn't he has face blindness he

remembers those cheeks and he would recognize that tight peach yeah all right

whoa this is a scary place sorry nope if i took one thing away from the business

yeah it was more gorsh more gorsh gorsh spin-off episodes yeah um okay so she's just gonna

blow right past that and we'll also sorry we'll also bump Kavlaran up to yours because you guys

are kind of together so it doesn't really make sense to have you do something but he's supporting

you so two of you collectively can kind of figure out what you're gonna do cool who who's

here uh we uh bazaar's here Bonwyn's here i'm here you're here and we all gotta go she like

like brightens up significantly to hear that somebody else yeah anybody anybody am i

preferred anyone else could have said fucking ignatius at this point

i mean um but yeah she definitely brightens up hearing that um bazaar and Bonwyn like she's

you know like yeah these two don't know each other that well like this is what being cared

for looks looks like so okay we have to leave because this place and it'll it'll put you to

sleep and the and nothing is right and i i can't leave you can't leave not yet okay but maybe

maybe

something burning oh yeah that's probably uh yeah well um yeah we we need to go is the

the short story there right she she nods and is like okay yeah okay all right what's the best

way out of this place she she looks back at cav and is like front door i only came in i've

never gone out okay cool we'll try the front door let me start hustling towards that door russ

okay so you're gonna go you're gonna make your way down the stairs you can make it to the bottom

of the stairs and part way down the hallway which is back towards the door as you get down

there Alydin you're now seeing a lot of this for the first time uh Kavlaran more things

are on fire um naturally be weird of less i mean i would hope more things were on fire

yeah as you get to the base of the stairs looking down to your right you see these

instrument creatures these trumpets like moving along the ground vile one single violin moving

down but also the shadowy outline of who you recognize as bizarre who is an inexplicably

long way away from you in this space you see into the dining room um make a perception

check you see me i was gonna see with my tuning fork and my lit torch under the table

cello didn't see me he just guessed 17 and i've got a plus zero okay i was uh 15 after uh after

bonus all right so neither of you see Bonwyn because you rolled a 19 i believe yeah yeah but

you look into the room and you see this cello figure um on the other side of the room and an

open window um the kitchen's on fire the dining room's on fire um you're halfway down the hallway

but that's as far as you can get this turn is there anything else you want to do uh well i

think at seeing bizarre uh Alydin would go bizarre good good she's safe run just fucking

run wait was that you with the tuning fork you mean this hot dog roaster

that's hilarious but not right now there's a time and a place

and now i'm hungry damn it it's actually bazaar's turn now so that

works out we can just flow into that uh yeah seeing Alydin like i i'm very very angry and

upset in this like encounter like i really want to find this fucking this dude but he

disappeared so like bazaar's pissed in his own way so like he is going to push forward just

walking right past that poor little violin on the ground not even getting it the time of day

and he is going to push towards that uh that mess of trumpets and other bells and give two

attacks to it and then move past it okay like just going in yeah brutal attacks love it

see that is an eight on the first one and a 20 unnatural on the second and the dirty 20 will

hit yep dope all right and that's going to be seven slashing damage cut it up yeah your blade

cuts down through them lets out this muted horn sound as it's knocked against the wall

the other one and as you continue to move past it because i assume you're going to

use your full movement yep yep it doesn't really have like a effect it yeah no that's not going to

work uh so yeah you you're able to insult you insult you hey fucker that's what i imagine

when you're like slashed at the trumpet that's totally all i was picturing too

all right so there's going to be a lot of trumpet falls

uh and you can make your way um i mean you walk what feels like 30 feet but you've been backing

up for some time but by the time that you reach that distance um you find yourself at the base

of the stairs and unless there's anything you can do it's Bonwyn's turn since cav showed

showed me his i'm gonna show him mine and be like i have a tuning fork too found one as

well Bonwyn from under the table you see um Kavlarne and Alydin rush down the stairs that was

going to be my first question was if i saw them amazing cello still in the door uh cello moved

behind towards the window so yeah you've got a clear shot to the door like hey where did she

go where did she go i don't know why i did a violin thing just so you guys could see it

anyway you're it's a very tall person playing it it's right

um i am just gonna like book it for my friends like Alydin i'm so happy that she's there and

we found her and she appears to be like whole and i'm probably just gonna run up and hug her

here i'm sorry i do not ask but i'm just so happy to see her i'm into it and then i will

try to hit that tuning fork again so you're all four of you are back together now

gangs all together again you're you pull out your tuning fork like let's

like oh yeah so we all have them out now in our hands so let wind yes i know that's what

i was gonna say like this is an initiative order but can we like yeah yeah yeah kyle tip to tip

with the tuning fork cheers like uh so yeah you rush out uh you've got your tuning fork

the trumpets of what's left of the trumpets have turned around the violins are piecing

themselves back together i drop my burning torch on them they run past cello is like

getting ready to make another one of these blasts and you hear the stomp of the piano

in the other room as it's on fire trying to just make its way out the poor fucking piano

god it's just trapped in there i know i can't think about it too much or i'll feel guilty

about this evil piano that i lit on fire but it's crazy the banjo man made me evil i just

know this is really good pay that's what you see around you that's what's happening around you

three of you have these tuning forks out what are you gonna do with those

i didn't work the first time mine didn't work either but i probably yeah i think that i have

like a small just like piece of metal that i like maybe can hold out and we can all

and i'm like uh we can all try and hit it at the same time love it yeah let's do it

what happens what do we roll group uh performance or arcana role you can choose

a better role team party kill you can roll yeah yeah all four of you they're cheering us on

all right it was arcana or what russ or performance 19 17 18 in performance 19 crushed it oh we're so

much stronger together guys at least two yeah all together what it is uh let me scroll ahead here

hold on he did not see us succeeding so he's gonna pass some stuff here yeah i was just

still hovering on the monsters yeah you strike each of these three tuning forks and the energy

wave amplifies and rings out and you you feel the entire house shaking this wave passes by

each of these monsters that begin to vibrate and fall apart and collapse and just become

lifeless instruments as this music fades into a soft melancholic tune

as the final instrument shatters or falls silent you hear the front door burst open

and stumbling in is the banjo man as he staggers in his fingers twitching as if

struggling to keep playing and he says no no no no the song's not over yet his voice cracks

almost pleading he screams out in frustration gripping his head as the discordant magic

begins to fall apart the clearing that you are in begins to tremble as the banjo man's hold

on this dreamlike realm begin to weaken a window of glowing golden light bursts

open behind you on the opposite side of the banjo man in the space between worlds

Alydin you're the first one to see it because of how we're all kind of standing here

everything around you at this point everything around everybody begins to disappear the house

disappears the parents the illusions all gone and Alydin as you look back and see the banjo

man for the first time yet have this odd recognition of him all of you see his eyes

flicker with something unreadable is it regret rage perhaps despair the silmarillion the

silmarillion and then his bones begin to crack his arms begin to extend his strumming on the

banjo becomes fractured and this these notes begin to vibrate and move and in this new form

with his monstrously long limbs and sunken in eyes and jagged sharp teeth wings begin to

sprout from his back he digs into the ground beneath him and charges towards you pushing you

towards this glowing window as the energy that surrounds him is moving towards you

Dumbgeons and Dragons season four episode 22 starring Amy More as Alydin carla max dead

as Bonwyn everbane tom laird as Kavlar in gold wave kyle Claset as bizarred the wizard

and russe moore as your dungeon master dialogue editing and sound design of today's episode is by

russe moore our community manager is jessica babyuk music is from epidemic sound and sound

effects are from epidemic sound and boom library our amazing cover art is by matt garbutt and

we'd like to say a huge thank you to our supporting producers including gabriel lynch

jessica babyuk cat water flame jacob madden anger on kiersen perry matey old school gamer d

craig zeiss and la branton we'd love for you to join us over on patreon at patreon.com slash dumb

dragon cast and when you sign up by april 30th 2025 you're going to save 25 off your first

month or your first year that's huge bonus episodes hangouts backstage access we've got it

all over there so we hope to see you over there okay you have a great week we'll talk

to you soon Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production