DUMBGEONS & DRAGONS

Season 4 • November 20, 2024

We Need An Adult

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Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin in a moment.

Quick footsteps are heard running down the hallway of the school, and there's several

children leading Alydin's way.

Come on, come on, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, you gotta hurry, you gotta hurry.

And they round a corner into a room, and as you enter this small dimly lit room,

you find and sense just this unsettling stillness hanging in the air.

There's a small cot in the corner that has rumpled sheets draped over its edge

as if, well, a child had been pulled from its sleep in the middle of the night.

You see a cracked lantern that flickers faintly on a wooden dresser and casts eerie

shadows across the space.

They weren't here when we woke up.

One of them runs over and kind of pulls the curtains open and lets some light into the

space.

I don't know, we looked everywhere.

We went and checked at the shed and we came to check with you, hoping that we

find them and we couldn't find them.

Who else shares this room with Cedric?

Well, there's a few of us in here, but none of us noticed them get up last night.

So he just disappeared in the middle of the night?

He just disappeared in the middle of the night.

Okay.

Okay.

Have you checked all the places he likes to go?

Well, I think we checked most of them.

Yeah, we checked down by the bridge, we checked over in the shed, we…

Down at the bank of the river?

Oh, we didn't check the bank of the river.

Okay, okay, we're going to go check the bank of the river.

Three of you go together.

Okay, okay.

Nobody goes alone.

Three children run out the door.

I look to another miscellaneous child because I don't know how many people

are in this school at this moment.

I'm Peter.

Thanks, Peter.

There's a lot of you.

And I forget.

And right now is a stressful moment.

Okay, I'm new here.

I need you guys to all go into one room.

Get everyone from the school who's staying in here right now.

Okay.

And I want you to stay in one room.

Okay.

And do not open the door.

Okay.

And do not open the windows.

Okay.

Unless you hear my special knock.

Okay.

Got it.

You're new here.

You might not know my special knock.

I just got here yesterday.

But ask one of the other kids.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, a special knock.

I'll close the doors.

Everybody!

Come on, come on, come on!

Thanks, Peter.

I'll be back.

I'm glad that Alydin, like, takes off, like, running only the way a child can.

Which is quickly.

Toward Bonwyn's house because, because she needs a grown up.

Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast.

And I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.

He him.

Also joining me today is Amy More as Alydin.

She her.

It was his, his job.

He was put in charge of the kids.

Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane.

She her.

When it's sticking out the window, maybe have it bottom up so it doesn't fill with

rain.

And Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard.

He him.

I've never wanted to go to class more than right now because I know I'm going

somewhere else.

Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon supported podcast and you can join us today at Patreon.com

slash TumDragonCast.

There's a seven day free trial and a whole bunch of episodes for you to listen

to.

We hope to see you over there.

And now fuck it.

Let's play.

Bonwyn's probably just been taking a long weekend, you know, visiting the rents, seeing

how the canoes doing, if her dad has a whole fleet of them now, you know, just hanging

out lakeside, maybe keeping a pretty sharp eye on the islands to see what she sees,

but mostly just like hanging out with the old folks.

It's been nice having you here for these last few days.

Yeah, thanks for letting me come.

I really needed there's so much to get done and I just really needed just a little reset,

a little break, a little lake time before I get back to, you know, rebuilding a

whole town, taking over the government, starting a school system.

I got a lot of plans.

I mean, you could just leave that to the people in the town.

Like that's what we did back in my day.

Well, I mean, I love you.

But because you did that back in your day, now, like everything is kind of terrible, right?

Like that's why the school's closed and the streets are falling apart.

I mean, I suppose.

I mean, maybe I didn't have a specific say in the school's closing.

Yeah, I didn't mean I didn't mean just you, of course.

I wasn't thinking you were pointing fingers.

Yeah, no, just more of a generational kind of thing.

Which you can have one if you want, you know, no charge, obviously, because you're

family. Oh, that's very nice.

I mean, honestly, I'd really just like to come visit you and then maybe use one

when I'm here. It's not going to do me.

I mean, I could bring it.

OK, well, we'll put one aside.

We'll put it up in your bedroom.

Yeah, perfect. Yeah, just put it in my room.

I mean, you can probably angle it up those stairs and then just get it out

the window. Oh, yeah, absolutely.

No, I've designed the house so that we can fit multiple canoes inside the

house in case the home floods.

That way, there's easy exit because as it floods, you go into the house.

Right. And then you have a place to leave.

Then you just launch the canoe.

I would maybe suggest, though, this is just a thought, just workshopping.

When it's sticking out the window, maybe have it bottom up so it doesn't

fill with rain. Good thinking.

And then you just flip it, launch it in case of flood.

Honey, we got to flip the canoes later tonight.

Flipping the canoes.

Baldwin says we got to flip the canoes.

No, I'm making potatoes.

We'll flip the canoes.

And then, of course, it's not going to flood.

Yeah, the potatoes are going to be great.

Are you staying for dinner?

I know you said you were going to try and head back today, but.

Well, I don't know.

I mean, Mom does make some mean potatoes, but I probably should.

You know, I left Thane kind of in charge of everything, which is

they're more than capable.

But, you know, I like to kind of be there.

I had this really great new client come by.

It seems like he's off on an adventure.

He actually might have.

Did he come to see you?

The fellow who stopped by, who said he should come down.

Follin? Follin. Yeah.

No, pleasure. Pleasure of a man.

Yeah, no, we stopped and he had plenty of plenty of little finger

sandwiches and we we shared stories.

Did you take him out in a canoe?

Took him out in the canoe. He's going to buy two.

He's an adventurer, you know.

Yeah, he's heading off on an expedition with some friends,

but I think we're going to kind of outfit the whole crew.

And yeah, it's nice to feel busy with work in addition to all the,

you know, politics stuff that's going on.

Understand. Well, if you need if you need help at the shop,

I've been looking for a job.

Oh, come on. You're retired.

Enjoy your canoe building.

I'm going to be real with you, Bonwyn.

I have 14 big canoes.

OK, 15 midsize canoes and 20 of what they call kayaks,

which is just a small canoe.

OK, do you want to maybe start a little rental business down here

or something for the summer crowd?

I mean, that's not a bad idea.

Just something to keep you busy.

Yeah, that, you know, skips that one one cost purchase.

You know, this is what I mean.

Like one canoe over and over.

It gets used every day, ideally.

Mm hmm.

I mean, I can at the next business association meeting,

I can definitely bring it up with like the other business owners.

And they're talking to people.

I can let them know and send them down here.

Amazing. Yeah, I think we got pamphlets around here that we can whip up.

No, I haven't washed the pants yet, but all the shirts are done.

We'll get some pamphlets whipped up.

I think that's going to be good.

Yeah, it's been a while since I've since I've prepped some some business wears.

So that's going to be great.

I need a new business card, I think.

Make it make a nice sign, you know.

Yeah, I have to come up with a clever name.

That's OK.

We're going to have to come up with a clever name for canoes.

Yeah.

She's over here.

Hey, hey, how are you doing?

There's...

Dad, could you maybe get her a glass of water or something?

Yeah, of course, of course.

There isn't any time.

Cedric is gone.

OK.

He's missing.

I'm not sure I know who Cedric is.

Tall kid.

Kind of annoying.

With the eyes?

Yep.

Yeah, and one's always looking at this.

Yeah.

He's missing.

Yeah.

And you looked at all the places that he likes to go and checked with all his friends and...

from the middle of the night out of a room with other kids who are also sleeping in the room.

Oh, I don't I don't like that.

I don't like that.

We actually don't have time for the water, Dad.

Oh, yeah, of course.

OK, I'll take it back inside.

It's good to see you, Bonwyn.

Yeah, thanks for everything.

OK, I'll come.

Let's let's go back now.

We got to get this figured out.

OK.

Did you talk to Dase yet?

No, I I talked to the kids and I got everyone in one room inside of the school.

The other kids.

We need to go and get the kids from the mill and the kids from the shack.

Everyone could fit in the school.

I'm not sure why we separated them out.

Maybe if everyone was all together, someone wouldn't have gotten snatched.

Somebody snatched him out of his bed, Bonwyn, out of his bed.

OK, well, let's not overreact.

Maybe he just went somewhere that he wanted to go of his own free will.

OK, but that's also crappy.

I mean, we should also hustle.

Like, let's get back there.

I'm not. It was his his job.

He was put in charge of the kids.

Oh, no.

Fade out as you are making your way back to town with speed.

We be booking it.

Yeah.

The large doors of Barnhart Swan School of Magic Fighting and Dance push open

and a very bleary eyed bazaar steps out into the morning sun.

The bell tolls off in the distance, and there's a few students who are coming up

the steps and just maneuvering around you.

And so excuse me, sir, I'm just going to step by.

Yes, thank you.

Oh, it's been a while since I've pulled an all nighter like that.

Oh, Kav had to head on already.

I appreciate him staying as late as he did.

I'll have to buy him something nice to the chest of drawers.

And good to know Darius is doing well.

I imagine we'll be heading back today.

Should I take care of?

He ponders to himself for a moment.

Door pushes open quickly behind you and

Wayland Jennings.

Page Wayland Jennings comes running out.

Sorry, bazaar, you forgot this.

You forgot this.

There was one more.

It was tucked underneath some of the books.

Thank you, Wayland.

I really appreciate it.

Tell me, what are you studying?

What am I studying?

Well, I came to a major where a dance major is what I came for.

I had the magic moves through my feet,

is what my mother always said.

So I came to specialize in various forms of dance and art.

And then I picked up a bit of an interest,

a keen interest in what the other more experienced

wizards are doing.

The study of magic really just excited me.

So still very focused on getting the dance major,

but with a little minor in wizard studies.

Excellent.

I think it's very practical, especially if you follow dance.

You'll be able to potentially tour around.

And if you ever get to that point in your Inventor's Myth,

see if I'm still around.

Oh, I absolutely will.

If you've gone through several of the classes,

if you had to pick a school of magic

that would complement fancy footwork,

what would you recommend?

I would recommend focusing on illusion.

Illusion.

OK, OK.

I was going a little more like a transmutation,

but illusion sounds great.

Well, transmutation could work,

because then if you're able to manipulate your surroundings,

you could create your own stage on which to dance.

So that's actually not a bad route to go at it.

However, a combination of the two,

then you could make yourself to appear to be dancing with,

well, whatever your illusions could conjure.

Oh, wow.

That's a lot to think on.

And also, you don't have to train a partner to dance.

Not something I thought of.

Not that you shouldn't find a partner, but.

Of course.

Well, it gives me a lot to chew on.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

All of this experience, working through these books,

was, don't get me wrong,

Darius gives us lots of experience,

but this was like real hands on stuff.

Like it sounds like what's a problem for you

that you're dealing with.

So if there's anything that I can do to be helpful in the future,

just you know where to find me.

I'll be here for another few years.

Excellent.

If I have to, I'll ask Darius specifically for you

if I can't find you myself, Waylon.

Thank you, sir.

Well, I've got to go to bed for probably at least an hour

before class starts here.

So it was great meeting you.

I can't wait to converse again.

I'm going to go take a, after I nap,

take a look at some of the illusion.

Have fun with it, Waylon.

Enjoy your time here.

Thank you. Thank you.

Zips back inside.

And I can walk off kind of just taking in the campus

since it's been so damn long since I've been back.

Just kind of like going over, remembering like,

kind of remembering times where maybe I didn't take advantage

of this place as much as I could have in certain ways.

Like kind of thinking back of like how long it has taken me

in Vintersmouth to actually like get to really know people

and have people that I would consider like a friend.

And I feel like I'm at that point.

And it's a stark difference, the dichotomy between my life

in Vintersmouth and my life here is very much on my mind.

So it's weird being back,

but it also lets me know my growth.

Perhaps absent-mindedly, perhaps otherwise,

you find yourself walking through this campus

and you make your way through the garden of the school,

which has very large topiaries all through it

and a winding mystical river,

which is what they refer to it as,

because it starts as if there's no point

of where the water's coming from

and terminates in this large pool

in the center of the garden

with a fountain that comes out of it.

And there are several students gathered around

going over their studies,

getting ready for their classes throughout the day.

But as the sun kind of comes up over the hedges,

it reflects off of this water

and there's this rainbow mist

that cascades down over your position.

I look around at the other students

and I'm just like, things don't change.

And I look around to see if they notice,

notice this rainbow showing up.

And I see a couple of them,

they notice it and they start to get up

and they put their bags in,

they put their books in their bag

and they begin heading off.

And a couple of moments later, like a class bell tolls.

And the rest of them kind of get into it.

I'm like, okay,

there are still observant students out there

knowing like once day hits this time,

it's time to go to class.

You see that rainbow, you get to class.

So I see it and like probably just like muscle memory,

like I begin to like walk with them

for a moment before I stop myself

and just kind of chuckle.

That realization comes that you have no class to get to.

Then a bit of hopeful unease sets in

as you only intended to be here for another day or so.

You know, you're helping Kvlarin finish up

anything he needs to do

before heading back to Vintersmouth.

But there's also another couple stops

that you wanted to make before finding a ship

to head back to Vintersmouth.

Reality sets in and I'm like, hi.

I wish I could just go to class.

I've never wanted to go to class more than right now

because I know I'm going somewhere else

and I really don't want to deal with.

Screw it, I burn an hour in a class

and then just leave randomly and then go find my mom.

What class do you take?

I go to the introductory,

introduction to divination magic.

I always thought divination was super cool

being able to have that foresight.

While I've learned a few, it's not like my,

it's not my big thing.

But I was always kind of like interested,

just didn't meet my ends.

As the professor's wrapping up their lecture for the day,

he's a middle-aged woman who has long,

very curly hair and these big bottle cap glasses.

She's calling out to the students as the bell's tolling

and don't forget to finish the assignment.

You have to give a premonition for someone close to you

and it's, hopefully is a good one.

Hopefully is a good one.

Oh man, that's a hell of a lesson to end on considering

and you know, Bazaar's like, of course,

of course I couldn't see that coming.

That's a, you know.

Should've taken more of these classes.

I'm going to go up to her and I'm going to say,

I used to be a student here a while back.

I don't ever think I had you

when I was coming through here.

So pardon the informal nature of this request,

but I need to know if I'm about to do something

good or bad.

Okay.

And like, I just, I don't want to,

but if I know something good could come out of it,

then maybe I'll make that choice.

Well, come up to my desk.

Come up to my desk.

She pours you a tea.

Have a seat.

Sit down.

Take a moment.

And I don't have a class next.

Not sure if you caught my name.

Aurelia, Professor Star Whisper for the students here.

What is it that you are hoping to find in this?

I'm hoping to find a resolution.

I found news that my father is likely near his death bed

or on it.

And I haven't had a great relationship with him.

And I don't know if actually going there

is going to accomplish anything.

And I don't want to waste time,

but against my better judgment,

I expect it to go bad

and have no hope for it to go good.

She sits down at the desk with you

and as you take the last sip of the tea,

she grabs it from you,

swirls the tea leaves in the bottom of the cup

and her eyes, you see like a shine that comes to her eyes.

She places the cup before you and says,

well, let us see what the leaves whisper to us today.

Her voice is soft but confident

and she gazed into the cup and she says,

here at the bottom, I see a symbol of the sun.

A powerful omen represents clarity

and success and the dispelling of shadows.

Whatever challenges you have faced recently,

they will soon give way to brighter days.

The sun, it promises prosperity and personal growth

so trust that you are on the right path.

She gently traces the rim of the cup and says,

here, pointing to show you here near the edge,

a butterfly takes shape.

It's the sign of transformation and freedom.

You are at the cusp of something significant,

a change that will allow you to spread your wings

and embrace your true potential.

Don't, don't be afraid of this transition though.

It could lead to unexpected joy.

Okay, I'll have to take your word for it

and follow that and believe.

Pardon me wonders if that's something I've got to find.

I'll just have to experience it on my own.

Thank you, thank you.

I appreciate it Aurelia, I do.

I hope you find what you're looking for.

The leaves are clear in their message.

You're walking towards a bright future

filled with transformation and success and lasting strength

so trust your instincts.

The universe will guide you well.

Best of luck this semester.

I hope your students are very well versed

and give you a lot of laughs.

Some of them are real dummies, but it's.

We all are at some point.

It's going to be okay.

Thank you for coming in today.

Please feel free to sit in on any class

as you find yourself here.

Will do, kind of slap the table twice

and stand up and say, well,

onto that destiny, I guess, right?

Yes, of course.

Make my way up the stadium style seating.

Make my way out of the lecture hall.

We'll be right back.

It's the middle.

Hey everybody, welcome to the middle.

Nice to see you here.

How's it going, everyone?

Hopefully you're having a great day.

We just came in, popped in to tell you

that we have just had, last week,

as you're hearing this, but this is recorded,

a great gook hang with our friends on the Patreon.

We did have a wonderful hang.

So fun.

If you haven't come, you should come.

If you're a patron who hasn't been there,

we had a pretty good turnout, but like,

We did, we did.

There's always a lot of people who just don't make it out.

There's like 15 people in there.

It was so wonderful.

Good turnout.

All sharing their stories.

But I'm sure there's a lot of people

out there listening that are like thinking like,

well, I mean, shit,

how do I even get to these gook hangouts?

That's a good question.

And you know, you just got to go to that Patreon, right?

Patreon.com slash dumb dragons.

Nope.

Damn it!

Dumb dragon cast.

We're so close.

Nobody's so close to me.

See, I wasn't going to be that bold.

I figured I'd lead into it.

It's for a reason.

Well, when I get it, I get it.

I'm going to tee it up for someone.

I took a risk.

I was wrong.

Dumb dragon cast.

It's only been the same for seven years.

Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.

Okay.

I have a condition.

You do, and we acknowledge that.

But yeah, come over to Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast

where you can join us for the gook hangs,

which happen on the first Tuesday of every month

at 7 p.m. Pacific time, 10 p.m. Eastern.

I mean, that could be it too.

Some people are sleepy.

So that's possible.

But it's always a great time and we have a blast.

And also when you're a patron,

you get an episode dedicated to you

like today's patron, Brian Sullivan.

Thank you, Brian.

Awesome, Brian.

So much for being here, Brian.

Are you related to Sully Sullivan?

Ooh.

Saved 50 souls that day.

Did?

150?

Bunch of them.

Hero of the Hudson.

Hero of the Hudson, that's right.

Saving our soul every day, Brian.

That's right.

I actually think his name is like Sullenberger

or something and I fucked it up.

That's okay.

But we all know who I was talking about.

But we all know that Brian is a hero.

Yes.

So let's just go with that.

Sullenberger, I was right the second time.

Let's bring the focus back to Brian.

Brian, you rock.

Thank you for listening.

Thanks for being here, Brian Sullenberger.

We really appreciate you.

We just renamed you.

Yeah, no, we do that.

Sorry about that.

But you too can come join us at the GooKangs

and get an episode dedication

at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast

and we hope to see you over there.

And now, fuck it.

Get back to the episode.

Let's keep playing.

All right, have a great week.

We'll talk to you soon.

Bye.

Love you, bye.

Bye.

Bye.

We cut back to Vintersmouth.

Halladon and Bonwyn,

you've made your way back to the school.

Many of the children have now been rallied

back at the school.

A few stragglers and then the three you sent down

to the riverbank, they've come tearing back

as you're coming up the way as well

and said, we can't find Cedric down at the riverbank.

We've looked everywhere and we've asked everybody,

we don't know.

All right, just go and just stay

with the others at the school.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Okay, so Halladon is everyone other

than Cedric accounted for?

Like they've all come here?

As far as I know, yes.

That's a great first step.

Could I look at where he was sleeping

or where he disappeared from?

Yeah, let me show you.

She leads Bonwyn down a hallway in the school

to one of the empty-ish classrooms.

This is where he was sleeping

and then other kids were sleeping over here on the floor.

Can I roll investigation?

Please do.

I have no magic so I can't tell anything that way

but I can roll a 17 investigation poll.

Amazing, so as you walk into this room,

the curtains have been opened

so they're still hanging in the air

this unsettling feeling that washes over you.

The bed in and of itself rumpled sheets all over the place.

The cracked lantern that previously mentioned to Halladon

is no longer lit.

There are several cots and sleeping bags

and blankets all over the floor

and as you walk towards the bed,

your foot pushes one aside

and there's what looks like something

that has been scratched into the floor

and as you push away the blankets below it,

your attention's drawn to what looks like

a twisted musical note

that's scratched into the wooden floorboards

near the bed.

Note looks like it was burned into the wood

with its lines spiraling unnaturally radiating

with a faint shimmer to it.

Next to the bed are a scattering

of dried autumn leaves

that are predominantly found near an open window.

You take a look outside

and there are no trees in the vicinity.

You look at them and they don't,

I mean having grown up here,

they don't look like any leaves

on any of the trees that grow in this region.

They're sharp edged with a faint golden hue

and as you look down at them,

a cool unnatural breeze passes over your neck.

This whole room's really given me the willies.

Has it been like this?

Do you feel that?

That like.

Right and it just,

it makes you feel like worried

and kind of like.

I assume it was not like that

when the children settled in here.

No, I visited them.

No, of course not.

Right before everyone was going to bed.

I saw everyone.

I spoke with Cedric and I told him,

stop singing and telling stories with this stupid guy

and then he was like,

oh yeah, I'm not doing it.

Okay, well I think we probably should go talk to Dase

because he's a crime fighter, good guy

or the closest we have on this side of the river,

but maybe first and I pull out a scrap of parchment

and kind of scratch it over the thing

so I get an impression of the weird symbol.

What are you doing?

Well, there's this weird thing here

and it looks, it seems very fresh and creepy.

So I'm just going to kind of take a bit

of an impression of that

so we can remember what it looks like.

And also these leaves are weird.

Like you're from here.

These don't look like any leaves we have here.

So I'm very carefully,

maybe even using that same piece of parchment,

like scooping the leaves into a small bag

that I have with me, but not touching them

because this room's weird.

So you think Dase will know what's happening

because of the picture and the leaves?

I think it's possible.

I think they might help solve this little mystery

that we've got here.

In the meantime, can you show me the room

where they all are,

just to make sure like the vibes are good?

Yeah, they're just all down this hall here.

As you go to leave the room,

the door has been blown closed a little bit,

not all the way, but on the back of the door,

which you didn't see walking in

and now that you haven't seen,

is pinned up with an old nail, a child's drawing.

The sketch shows a crooked figure playing a banjo

standing at the edge of what looks like a misty wood

with strange glowing eyes staring out from the trees.

In the lower corner of the drawing,

the child scribbled the words.

He's coming from the forest.

Fuck this.

I quit.

I look up at it.

JK, JK.

I look up at it.

I told them just to stop talking about it.

You recognize this?

Yeah, well, no, yeah.

And Alydin rips it down.

Take a close look at it.

She don't care.

She was gonna pick those leaves up with the bare hands

before you went in and scooped them.

I'm like, oh, that's a good idea.

It's a good thing I'm playing a child

because I just have all the instincts.

Just come with me.

Yeah, let's get out of this room.

Yeah, hard agree on that.

Let's get out of here.

We'll go to the room where all the kids are.

Just make sure everything's okay.

And you can tell me what you know

about Creepy Woods Banjo Man.

Yeah, we just go a few doors down

and I knock the special knock,

which is just like the, so special.

Hey guys, it's me, open up.

Okay, was it three at the end or two at the end?

Oh my God, open up.

Okay, yeah, of course, of course.

Door opens.

Did you just pretend to make locking sounds?

Yeah.

That's a good idea.

It makes it seem safer when there's locks on the door.

I hold up the picture to the group of children

and I go, who did it?

Who drew it?

Oh, okay, Alydin.

Hello, everyone.

I think I've met all of you.

I'm Bonwyn, if we haven't met.

Hi, Bonwyn.

How is everyone?

I know we've had a bit of an upset with Cedric

not being here, but everybody's feeling okay.

Not feeling scared.

Yeah, no, it's not been great.

I think maybe Cedric drew that.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure

that's all I'm doing the other day.

Okay.

Alydin, you said, was he telling a story about?

He's singing a song.

He was singing a song about a scary man from the woods.

Alydin, you said we shouldn't sing it,

but Bonwyn hasn't heard the song.

Maybe that would give Bonwyn a clue.

It's really catchy.

We could sing it again.

We could all sing it again.

Okay, but this is-

Okay, but this is the last time.

Okay, just a taste.

Hush now, child, and close your eyes.

The Benjamin will sing the skies

with silver strings and gentle sound.

He'll lead you where no harm is found.

Wow, well, first, great singing.

Thank you, thank you.

Everyone, that was beautiful.

Cedric, correct the thing.

I think, probably never sing that again.

That's a very scary song.

That's what I said, and this is not the only,

I went to every group to check on them yesterday.

It was the man down at the-

They all went on a trip down to the river,

down to the docks.

There was a man singing a song.

Which I talked to Tally about,

and I talked to Cedric about.

You did talk to us about it, I'm sorry.

No, that's fine,

because it was like after you'd already done it,

but I heard them singing the song

at every single place that I went.

It's a catchy diddy.

Yeah, it's a bop.

It's scary.

Now that a child is actually missing.

Sorry.

Did you see?

I'm pointing at the picture.

You saw this person down?

No.

Oh, just everyone was singing the song.

There was a man who's just a traveling entertainer,

just out singing songs.

And that was one of the songs they sang.

And that's when we walked up

and then it got stuck in our heads.

And we all just thought it was a great little song

to sing.

What did he look like?

Oh, the man, he was a younger fellow.

He had like a little bit of patchy hair on his face.

He had like shortish hair,

like kind of like Petey's hair,

but a little bit longer,

a little bit of gray in there.

He had a long sweater.

And I say sweater because it looked like

it was kind of knit,

but it had multiple colors,

but it went down like past,

like longer than a sweater normally goes.

Yeah, I said it was like a dress.

Kind of like a dress,

but he wore a belt,

but it was like very fashionable.

And he had an over cloak.

Maybe it was a cloak or was it like a cape?

No, it was more like a cape.

It was a cape.

Yeah, it was a cape.

Yeah, yeah.

And then he had open-toed shoes,

open-toed shoes, like sandals.

You could see his feet.

You could see his feet.

Yeah, he had very hairy,

hairy toes and the tops of his feet.

But they looked pretty well taken care of

considering they'd be out of their shoes for so long.

And hanging out under a dock.

This was a human man, an elf.

He was a man.

Yeah, a human man.

A human man.

Yeah, no, he was singing some songs before that.

And did he have a banjo with him

or a flute or any kind of instrument?

He had a box on the ground

that he would stomp for the rhythm.

And then he had also a lute,

I think is what they call it.

So multiple strings,

but no, he didn't have a banjo on him.

Otherwise he might be singing about himself

and he might say,

I will sing the skies instead of the banjo man

because he's the banjo man.

Okay, number one, you have an incredible memory.

Thank you.

Number two, no evil dude is dumb enough

to put themself in the song and use I

because there will be questions.

Yeah, okay.

So you think he was the evil man?

Well, we don't know,

but just don't assume that the evil people

are always gonna say,

hey, I'm an evil person.

Or look evil.

You know this kids, you're so smart.

Maybe he assumed the banjo man's really popular

and didn't wanna get mobbed by kids

because of how cool he was.

Valid point.

Okay, I feel like you guys might be taking

the wrong lesson from this whole thing.

Do not leave this room.

Yes.

Just stay here, stay safe, no more singing.

Actually, sing as much as you want,

just don't sing that song.

Okay.

Sing something more upbeat, more positive.

All right, and a one, and a two,

and a one, two, three.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

That's where we'll end today's episode.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

Dumbgeons and Dragons season four, episode 11,

starring Amy More as Alydin,

Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane,

Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard.

You heard all of us, plus Tom Laird and Abdul Aziz

as the singing creepy children,

and Russ More as your dungeon master.

Dialogue editing by Carla Maxted

and sound design by Russ More.

This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound

and Slipstream, and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,

Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.

Our amazing cover art and character designs

are by Matt Garbutt,

and a huge thank you to our supporting producers,

Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak,

Kat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Christian Brown,

Angaron Kierzen, Perry Matey,

Old School Gamer D, Craig Zeiss,

L.A. Branton, Barbara Sandrzaik, and Sarah Murphy.

Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast,

and you can find us at patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast,

where you get an episode dedication,

a whole bunch of exclusive content,

access to exclusive community channels in our Discord,

hangouts, and so much more.

We can't wait to see you over there.

Oh, and merch.

Merch is over there too.

After three months, we'll send you some, just like that.

Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.