Ad breaks are marked in the transcript below. The audio player uses the ad-supported feed.
Previously, on Dumbgeons and Dragons, Halloween at Kron Manor, the Destiny's children got
the invite of a lifetime and make their way to Kron Manor with new friend Vorunax.
While at the party, they had many delightful beverages, took in the spooky ghost tour
by Mr. Mortimer, which led them through the many exciting events that were coming
their way.
While on the tour, our heroes became a little interested in other areas of the house that
they were told perhaps not to go.
They became separated and found themselves under the influence of something mystical,
magical, or just a bludgeoning to the back of the head by an unknown captor.
Let's pick up there and jump into Halloween at Kron Manor Part 2.
And you go unconscious.
All of you drift to sleep or get knocked unconscious or forced to sleep.
You don't know for how long and you awaken in a dimly lit space.
You see similar tile to where Sully had lit the match.
There is a mirror on one side of the wall that you can see in this reddish brown illuminated
area.
And as you all begin to come to, you look around and you see each other in opposite
in in corners of this room.
You feel shackles around one of your legs.
Oh my gosh, you're not supposed to fall asleep at the party first.
You have a dick on my face.
Let me see.
Turn the other way.
It's a little far off.
Is this the costume contest?
Yeah.
Uh, no penises.
Me too.
On your face.
How about me?
Do I have any phalluses on my face?
Nah, but you're still just a dickhead.
Yeah, thanks Sully.
Wait.
My head, like, is there blood back here?
Somebody hit me.
It looks like there's some, yeah, there's a glisten, some more than the usual
glitter.
Ouch.
Yeah, you guys were like, I'm so tired, I need to take a nap and then whack.
Somebody hit me.
Wow.
That's not very nice.
That's not cool.
No.
And I, it might have been Benjamin.
I asked, I, cause I heard kind of swinging doors like the ones we went through, but
I don't know.
Well, this is a concern and predicament.
I do seem to be chained.
Yes, I have now noticed that I am also chained.
Yes, no, it's three times chained over here.
Yeah, same here.
Uh, let's see, what am I gonna do about this?
Like, I don't want to be like such a, like a, like a, you know, like, one of
those, but like, help, kind of thing, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's a sudden flicker in the mirror, this is like a static that begins to
course through it and a figure, a cloaked figure, you can't see any facial features,
comes on and says, do you want to play a game?
I mean, honestly, not at the moment.
I should have used the washroom when I had the chance.
It's kind of what I'm thinking about now.
And so it's not the best time.
My head kind of hurts.
I don't know.
What are you, charades?
Like, what do you think?
You seem to be the kind of people who like to play games with other beings and bring
them to different places at random times.
And so I decided that maybe that was time to happen to you.
So you've got a choice now.
I'm sorry, um, who did we bring somewhere random at a time?
Multiple times.
Is that multiple times?
Any times.
Wow.
I don't, I know I've had a whole witch's brew at this point, but I don't ever really
remember doing that.
I remember having a dream about something like that, but it was, I don't know,
I was being some kind of goody two shoes nitwit or some shit.
It was a nightmare, honestly.
So it sounds familiar, but I don't think it's me.
So you're a bad boys end, Mr. Vorunax.
Bad boys for life.
Bad boys.
We ain't going nowhere, not with these chains around our legs.
Nope.
That's right.
So I guess, I guess we're playing a game.
Hold on, is this your fault?
Is this whose fault?
My fault.
Yeah, well, I just want, you said you were a transporter and that you transport
people.
What's in the trunk?
That's true.
What's in the trunk, Vorunax?
My buddy Jason.
You can't even let your captor get through his little monologue and diatribe
without going off on your own tangents.
You were all so selfish.
Well, I mean, I don't, I don't mean to sort of armchair bad guys
speech, but you asked a question and then that requires us to answer.
So maybe next time, just monologue and leave the question for the end.
As a regular monologuer of evil diatribes, I would recommend leaving the,
even the thought of a rhetorical question out so that you don't get,
you know, dickish answers to those questions you don't want to hear the
answer to.
Oh yeah, if I hear rhetorical, I'm going on it.
Yeah.
Who didn't ask a lot of questions?
And the mirror begins to shift in space.
You see this slab up on a wall and there's a figure like within the slab
and it like zooms in just here off to the side.
That's like off mic.
Enhance. Enhance. Enhance.
And it zooms in and it's pixelated.
No, no, like the CSI enhance.
And then the pixelation goes away and it's a crystal clear picture of
Moot encased in this stone carbonite.
He didn't ask a lot of questions.
It seems like he should have.
Yeah.
So what you do with Moot?
Wait.
So the mashed potatoes wasn't real?
Who is that?
Oh, he's like, he's like our best friend.
He's the third Destiny's child.
He's the third kind of Destiny's children.
Our group name.
He's the...
All right, all right.
He's a hot.
Great guy.
You'd really like him.
Okay.
He's really cool.
Yeah.
So this is a shocking development if you want.
I feel ridiculous now.
No, not Moot.
You purveyor of evil deeds.
Is that...
That's exactly right.
I felt disgusting in my mouth.
You, Mr. Vorunax.
The screen begins to move back to the cloaked figure.
You are burning about a certain amount of evil.
And we just need to put that to a stop.
Oh, you jelly?
I don't think you're ready.
I mean, if I'm leading the charge, I think I've been ready.
But let's see what you got.
I'm interested.
Maybe I can take some notes back home with me after this whole situation's taken care of.
The door on the opposite side of the mirror kicks open,
and you hear the same music as when you went out into the garden.
And the garden and the zombie gnomes begin marching in,
doing their Thriller dance.
Moving towards each corner and encircling you.
We'll see if you can get out of this one.
And the door slams shut and locks behind you,
and the mirror statics and fritzes and goes out.
The music stops entirely,
and you see these gnomes who before appeared to be painted and modeled,
and like they were just putting on a play.
Their skin is sloughing off their faces,
and their jaws hanging to the ground,
and some are missing limbs.
And they let out this blood-curdling scream and jump towards you.
Everybody roll for initiative.
Oh, hell yeah.
I feel like I haven't rolled for initiative in ages.
I know.
How do I even do it?
Oh.
Oh, better than I usually do.
I got a nine.
21.
21?
Well, I rolled a 16, and I've got a plus five initiative.
You got it.
I don't.
You want to roll for hillop?
Yep.
Sully is ready for a dance fight.
I'm here for a dance battle.
Okay.
Thing fits us.
Light in the space begins to flicker,
and these gnomes all pile on top of you.
Everybody make a strength saving throw.
This will be their first action.
Fuck.
16.
22.
Minus one.
Five.
Are the other people within like 10 feet of me?
How close is everyone?
I didn't specify how big the room was.
Let's call it like a...
11 feet.
A large bathroom.
Okay.
So all, you know...
Are they within 10 feet of me?
Two of them, the corners right across from me,
or like to your left and right.
Yes.
Person across from you, no.
So let's place these people in this room.
Okay.
Damn hypotenuse.
Get that whiteboard out.
Son of a bitch.
Damn geometry.
So we'll say mirrors on this wall.
Doors on this wall.
And we'll go around in initiative order.
Sully, Glim, Barnox, Hillop.
So Hillop and Glim.
Hillop's to your left.
Glim is to your right.
Sully is across from you.
Sorry, Sully.
That's all good.
Those two get a plus four to their saving throw.
Great.
26.
It wouldn't have helped you.
Sorry, Amy.
That brings Hillop up anyway.
Dope.
So everybody except Sully saves.
And we.
Yep.
So everybody was in a seated or prone position.
You're shackled.
All these gnomes are piling on top of you.
They're attempting to restrain you.
Sully, you are now restrained.
You've got it.
They're holding you down.
Makes sense.
You're the smallest of everybody.
Seems unfair.
The other ones, they're just clamoring at you trying to get a grasp on you as
you go around.
So Sully, you're first up in this.
You would have to make a strength check to try and get out or do some other shenanigans
as you see fit.
Well, I can shenanigan dagger them while I'm prone.
Yes, they are holding you down.
So you don't you didn't actively have a weapon in your hand to begin.
All right.
I'll I'll try to make a strength saving throw.
OK.
But I just for the record, it's not just a struggle.
It is weird and off putting body undulation.
OK.
Love it.
Hi Nat 20 undulated them right off of me.
That's right.
Take it.
Yeah.
The music begins starts back up as you're doing this and it turns into just this right
side Fred kind of vibe more than anything.
And you're like your pelvic thrusting them off and into the walls.
I'm too sexy for these notes.
And this was as one was moving towards you with a dagger to plunge it deep into
your heart.
Absolutely.
They are being thrown off.
That is your action.
You are now no longer restrained, still prone.
We go to glim.
Are any of them on me with the 26?
No, they are.
You are not restrained.
So you are you are still on the ground.
But they are they're like pawing at you.
They're just trying.
And are we just like one leg is attached to a thing.
OK.
Great.
I guess I'll stand up.
Love it.
And then I'm just going to try and sword them.
Swording.
Thirteen.
Thirteen will hit.
Yep.
Oh sick.
So that is a 13.
Thirteen damage.
So yeah.
Slashing damage.
Stand up and brandish your sword and swing it down through this group of zombie gnomes
who let out these moans and groans as they are.
Several of them are eviscerated and just thrown across the floor in front of you.
Make two 13s.
Nailing the Halloween theme.
Yep.
Vorunax, you're level 20 still, obviously.
So you can do whatever you want.
Just burn this whole fucking thing down.
I down myself.
I guess level 18 is what I down myself.
I meant to do it to 16.
We are at four.
Doesn't matter.
Okay, there's all kinds of people at parties, okay?
Right on.
Well then I'm just going to do some light murdering.
Just do some light murder.
Yeah, you know.
Do whatever you got.
Alright, cool.
Well then just Wand of Orcus.
All you undead, shut up.
It's fine.
No.
No, I'm going to bust out the Wand of Orcus and just like lay into these undead.
Okay.
You know.
Twenty-six.
So you're just using it as a bludgeoning weapon?
Oh yeah, I just stand up, smack the shit out of these little gnomes.
Say, look, I danced with you.
Twenty-six is going to hit.
I danced with you.
We shared a moment.
Twenty total damage.
Twelve of it is necrotic if it makes a difference.
I'm sure it might.
It definitely does.
You slam down into these gnomes who see the Wand of Orcus and look terrified as you pull
it out.
And then they are crushed beneath it.
There's still a couple of them on each of you in Glim.
And then we will go to Hillop.
Hillop, who's just kind of wiggling and writhing around, pulls a baseball bat.
Hillop, who's just kind of wiggling and writhing around, pulls a baguette out of who
knows where and swings to try and hit with it.
You roll for Hillop.
And the baguette explodes because it's just a baguette.
Yeah, but does the shrapnel of the stale baguette get lodged into the eye of one
of them who's looking like he's having just a hard time with it?
That's slightly irritating.
Yeah, it's just bad.
I mean, now it's soft and it's kind of conformed to the eye, so it's going to be a real yeasty
later.
It's the gnome's turn, and they are...
I said there were two on each Glim and Vorunax.
Sully, you've...
You're off.
There were five over there.
And five on Hillop.
They are going to try and slam attack you, for lack of a better term.
One of them does have a blade, so the one with the blade is going to try and go for
Sully.
I won't make you roll for that one.
Why not?
You didn't like the low rolls I was given?
I didn't like the low rolls I was given.
That's going to be a 16 to hit with this bladed zombie.
Nice.
He's a 16.
If it meets, it beats.
That's three piercing damage as he clamors up and runs over to you screaming, and tries
to stab into you.
Oh, fuck.
Gee.
And does so.
Dick.
The other ones rush over to Glim.
The ones who were on Hillop and a couple that were on Sully are going to try and
rush over to Glim, and a couple are going to rush over to Vorunax.
Both of you make a strength saving throw as they jump at you en masse.
14.
22.
22 is good.
14.
You are weighted down.
They have your arms pulled down, avoiding the blade if at all possible.
To swing, you're going to have to roll with disadvantage, or you're going to have
to try and shake them off with a strength saving throw on your next turn.
Okay.
Sully, it's your turn.
There's a gnome on top of you who's just impaled you with a dagger.
It's really rude.
Brutal.
I want to take out my dagger and impale him.
I've got two.
I can do two-handed.
Ha ha.
So I'm just letting him, like, I guess he can't hang from me because we're
like the same size.
Yeah, they are the same size.
Yeah.
So, like, dagger's in me.
Yeah.
I just let him do it.
I take both of my hands and I whip out my daggers, and what I want to do is I
want to, whoosh, from side to side right through his ears.
Love it.
Sick.
And instead, oh, wait, it's a 17.
That definitely works.
Oh, yes.
I want to stab him in his ears.
You don't need to roll for damage.
You're stabbing him into his brain space.
So two daggers go in through the ears and, like, you feel the blades,
like, shank off of each other inside the head.
Oh.
And he stops immediately and just kind of slumps as you pull them out and he slumps
to the ground.
Oh.
Damn, Sully.
He stabbed me in my chest.
I know.
That was amazing.
And Glim, as you look down, after you say that, there's these gnomes hanging
off of your arms, three of them on each arm trying to pull this blade.
The others on your blade hand are trying to pull your fingers free.
Hey, Glim, it looks like you're, like, doing a daycare over there and the
kids are unruly.
I know.
And that's just what I would do if I ran a daycare.
And then I slam my hand against the wall.
I'm just kidding.
It's not what I would do if I ran a daycare.
Don't, oh, don't ever tell anyone.
Make an unarmed, an unarmed attack.
Don't ask Carla to base.
23.
Yeah, that definitely happens.
So with the sword hand because I want to, like, knock him off.
Yeah, so you got that.
So, yeah, the three that are hanging off your sword hand get flung into the wall
and you hear crushing of bone and matter as they slump to the ground.
And you have your sword hand free, but you only have one action.
So we go to Bardox.
Yep, that's it.
Like, they do good work.
I need to remember to talk to them after this is done.
So Sully's getting, like, attacked more than others?
Not anymore.
I think it was just that one still lost.
That he killed.
Yeah, so there's three on Glem, five on you, a couple on Sully, and a couple on Halem.
Okay, well, if there's more on me than anyone else, then I'll just start, you know, swinging at the ones on me.
There we go, 21 and 17 total damage.
Swinging down with the Wand of Orcus, you crush through them.
They have domino effect down and into the wall beside you.
One of them gets blasted into the door and, like, crushes through and into the hallway
where beyond, now that the door is open, you hear this, like, nothing that you can pick up
is what they're saying, but you hear, like, whispering murmurs and laughter coming from the hallways.
That sounds very scary outside.
I'm going to try and stab him with my baguette.
He's got the warm, crusty parts now.
He's going to do so.
Hylop doesn't have weapons or spells or anything.
What's Hylop?
That was a three.
Hylop's a baguette man.
Hylop is here for a party.
He's here.
Yeah, that's right.
Not everyone takes all their gear.
No, I was not here.
I was not prepared to fight an adventure at a party, at Halloween party.
Good God.
Is that three?
It was a three.
Yeah, three.
Well, I'll make a sandwich for you.
How about that?
That would be better than what I'm doing now.
The gnome in front of him just laughs and tries to take a bite out of him and
does so.
He latches on to Hylop's leg and takes his chomp out of him.
The three on your other arm, Glim, are going to try and do the same.
That's 19.
Oh, that'll do it.
You take a couple chunks out of your arm and you're going to take six
bite damage, piercing damage.
Gross.
Vorunax, that's going to be a 16.
No, 19.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, cool.
And Sully, there were a couple on you.
That's a natural 20.
Oh, no.
I can't bring it on.
They're mad now.
You stabbed their friend through the ear.
They're mad now, but I did only roll a one.
Two dice, one plus, so that's five piercing damage.
That's fine.
That's fine.
That's fine.
All right, one more to the top.
One more time.
We got Sully.
Okay, so two just stabbed me.
Bit you.
Bit me.
Okay, well, while their nomers are on me, I want to ... I still have my daggers in
my hand, so I was like this, and then the guy dropped, and then they bit me.
I want to go ... So if they're biting on my bicep, I want to stab them kind
of from behind.
Yeah, love it.
Yeah.
I'm doing that.
A 13.
Yeah, but they're latched on to you, so it's with advantage for you.
So you get to roll again.
I think I said 13 hit, though, but maybe you get a natural 20.
I didn't.
I rolled a five.
Okay, so definitely hit them.
So roll some damage.
First dagger for the one on my right is a four plus five, nine.
And the other one is a seven.
Daggers go into the tops of the heads of both of these, and they drop as well.
I'm going to have to get rabies shot at something.
Did you get all the tests done before we went on the road, like I told you to?
No.
That's psychotic.
Psychotic.
Who goes for tests and blood tests and immunizations before going to a Halloween party?
But doesn't bring weapons.
I don't understand your priorities.
That's quite odd.
The invitation did not say Chewy Chewy Nom Nom Zombie Gnomes.
It also didn't say bring your own baguette.
It wasn't B-Y-O-B.
Wait, who leaves home without a baguette?
Like literally everyone else in this room.
It's not even our turn yet.
We're just yelling at each other.
This is what's being said during the fight.
Exactly.
You want to give me an attack roll there, Glim?
Yeah, and I'm just going to try and do the same thing and just hit the other arm.
Unarmed strike is plus six, so that's a 15.
Love it.
Almost like you pin them up.
You tell me if this feels right.
You pin them up and then stab into them with your blade.
I could maybe hold them up and then just disembowel all three, just right across.
That's so much cooler than what I was thinking.
I thought you would poke each individual one, but that would be real awkward.
Just like shanking them held up against the wall.
Her sword is big.
It's hard.
You got to have that good reach back.
No, yours was cooler.
I don't know how many are left in this room.
Vorunax, do you want to do something cool before Hillop eats a sandwich?
We can figure these shackles out.
I'd say there's a couple more left in there.
Couple more left in here.
There's definitely two on Hillop because he hasn't done anything.
There's like what?
Like three on me or something? Four?
There were five and then you...
Yeah, I think I got most of them on the last one.
Yeah, you describe what you do and then it'll take a bunch of them out if it works.
I pull out my hand and I just do a quick snap.
And there's this snap that goes off in all of their heads.
And some psychic damage is dealt from it unless they want to make an intelligence 20 DC save.
They're going to try.
Wow.
Bless them.
Bless them.
Bless this little zombie garden.
No, no, they definitely didn't do it.
That's a 10. They barely made it halfway.
That's 25 psychic damage.
As all of the remaining zombies, countless because I didn't keep track, their heads explode and coat the room.
Oh, gross, but awesome.
Yeah, it was real good.
That was pretty cool.
You look over and you see Hillop about ready to eat.
Maybe take a bite of the baguette as it exploded.
I will not be eating that one.
Maybe we swing by the kitchen later and see if the ghost is a good guy or a bad guy.
Maybe he's got some food for us.
Perhaps.
I want to try to pick the lock on my shackle.
Yeah, you're out of combat now so you can do what you need to get out of the shackles.
I've got, what is it, sleight of hand?
Sleight of hand would be cool.
You need sleight of foot for that one.
I got a plus nine in that.
Do you have lockpick tools?
Yes.
Alright, good.
I was going to say, be weird if you didn't.
No, I have a flute.
I left them at home.
No, I have a flute.
Okay.
I'll do 20 plus sleight of hand.
Oh, I have to actually roll for it.
Now it just busts us all up.
Oh, yay.
That is a 26.
I want to see how long you're there for.
Oh, wow.
You maybe play it up a little bit.
Like, oh, it's so slippery and you can't do it.
But then you have no problem going around and picking the locks on everybody.
Nice.
I'm doing you last, Hillop, because you know why.
Well, I don't specifically know for this reason why.
I would have shared, but it's covered in the brain's guts now.
And that's why.
Because you want it?
No, no, thanks.
Do you guys have any idea what Mirror Dude was talking about?
No.
Sounds like I used...
Varnas did bad things, but you summoned something or called something
sometime, somewhere, multiple times.
Multiple times and drugged something to somewhere they didn't want to go.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
It's magic.
Oh.
You know.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, this is not karaoke.
This is Moot's fault, that dick.
I bet this is that fucking unicorn.
Unicorn.
Wait.
Y'all fucked with a unicorn?
Not on purpose?
Not on purpose and not only one time.
This is quite elaborate.
It is quite elaborate.
You did sort of have a flair, though.
But his name is not Unicorn.
It's Eunice Acron.
Uh-huh.
I'm hearing it now.
It seems obvious now.
Oh, shit.
Oh, man.
We did do the thing.
Well, I...
Okay, hold on.
I thought mistaken identity for sure.
I mean, they got Moot.
Obviously we'll, like, properly get him back.
I mean, we need to save Moot.
But I mean, like, that?
Like, it was Moot's fault.
So what you're saying, you're going to leave Moot here
and you're not going to save him from the unicorn?
No, that was absolutely the opposite.
I said we have to save him,
but it was definitely his fault.
Yes.
Like, I don't feel guilt over this.
Yeah, me neither.
I don't even have anything to do with it,
but, I mean, y'all were cool to hang out with
for the party, so I'll give you a hand.
Yeah, we're sorry, y'all.
Wrapped up in this.
I feel very validated with all of my corn jokes now.
So, you know.
You know what, you're right.
You psychically were making incredibly bang-on puns,
and we still didn't quite realize,
which, again, when you say unicorn,
it's right there.
See, I was thinking acorn,
and I thought it had something to do with nets.
That's crazy.
No, bring it back.
Get to a party's crazy.
Okay, what should we do?
Go through the door, smash through the mirror?
What do you think?
I mean, the door's smashed through a little bit.
We could finish the smashing and go on.
I'm going to kick that door now.
Here I go with my dragon foot.
We cut out into the hall,
and then there's this huge foot
and, like, stumble out as these...
You're still wearing your costume
as all of these spider legs pour out
into the hall
through this door that
appeared stronger than it actually was
with this gnome on the other side.
You pick yourself up,
and the hallway before you,
you're the first to see it,
but as everybody else joins you,
does not look
like any of the other hallways.
It's not as well done up
or cleaned up
or any pristine.
The wallpaper's peeling off of the walls.
The paintings are hanging,
and you see,
you visualize
this wave,
this ripple that goes down,
and the wallpaper
and the wood is pushing out
down this hallway
as these whispers intensify.
Are we thinking, like, Frightener's style?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Being no stranger to hallucinatory
terrain, is this really happening?
That's a great...
Or is this is real and everything else was...
Oh, was it all a glamour
and it's really just a shithole?
Well, the stuff with the hallway, like...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think you're right.
Make an arcana check
with advantage for you,
Vorunax. Yeah, sure.
Twenty-six.
What? Yes, it does appear
to be actually happening.
Oh, this is fun.
From haunted house to fun house.
Okay, so...
And we think this is...
Like, ghosties?
Or what are we...
Well, they did tell us
the story. Didn't he tell us
the story of the whispering
walls?
The eerie laughter, the whispers
and the faint...
And they, like, soaked up the terrible things
that happened to the people in this.
And then we heard the bits
and the pieces of the stories that we missed.
Like, curse befalls
and music
sends shivers.
And you hear, like, a plunking chord.
Is that all now a lie?
Because this is all a trick?
Or is that real?
Does anyone have, like, a spectral...
A haunted mansion?
We need to find them
in order to find out the exact news
because I am just Hylap, the business partner
of Glim. I don't know the rules
of this space.
Yeah, I was sort of just asking to the room,
not, like, you specifically, Hylap.
Not all about you, Hylap.
If anything, if I had to sort of create
of the people in the room that I would...
I was at the top.
You wouldn't...
You're no longer at the top.
No, now that we've proven that I don't know,
I can be moved from the top
and my rightful place down to
the next in line.
Alright, maybe we just walk down to Hylap.
I'm just... I say we just go.
Sure, yeah.
Maybe I'll look at anything.
Just close your eyes and go.
No, don't close them.
Maybe the arms shoot out of the walls
at him and, like, grab him
and are pulling him to either side.
He says, it's not working! It's not working!
Somebody help me!
Help me!
Take a sword, chop the arms.
Chop the arms coming out of the wall?
Yeah.
Decisions, decisions.
I mean, clarification.
Oh, sorry, his arm.
A clerical error, sorry.
We can replace those.
That's fine.
It won't match.
We'll replace it.
You chop the arm
and you chop it and it goes through
as he's screaming and it
falls and it just falls
and it's a piece of wood
that lands down on the ground.
Okay, we've got to run fast,
I think. Not with eyes closed
so you can see the arms coming out
and it's okay.
Three, two, one, go!
He bolts down the hallway.
He still doesn't have a weapon.
He's just going for it. Don't look at him run.
He's just, I mean, I'm going to go.
Help me!
Oh my god!
Son of a birch.
Let's do a bit of a skills challenge
as we're making our way through this house
to try and find Eunice A. Krohn.
Eunice A. Krohn.
Okay, we got it.
Yeah, I know.
It's good.
I'm surprised that I was the one who figured it out.
You're like, keep transporting
against their will
from one place to another.
Like, hmm.
No, that doesn't check out.
Sounds like we've never done that.
I was thinking about me
something I did.
Tom's not even here and it's his fucking fault.
I thought it was going to be timey stuff.
Fucking unicorn.
So we can go in
same initiative order.
Sully Glim Vorunax
who is stuck.
So arms are shooting out.
Ghostly apparitions,
if you will,
trying to capture you as you run by.
What do you do
to either help yourself or help your group
move down swiftly
through the hallway?
Okay, you guys, so like, since I was
these are not all made
of the same wood.
So I'm going to use my
nature
to
so you got to look for the ones
that are lighter than the others
and those ones, they're brittle.
They break easily. That's soft wood.
You don't want to use that for nothing.
So I tell them that
and as I run,
I use
my frightful sword of reflection,
but without any of the powers, to purposely
hit the ones that are the weak woods.
Okay.
Long winded, does that work?
Love it. Roll nature.
15.
15 will work.
Hit that soft wood.
You're puncturing all the wood
as these arms are shooting
out and things are trying to grab
you. You're clearing away.
You make it down to the end
of this hallway. Hillop has made it down.
You see Hillop being pulled.
He's got legs through one
hole and arms and the other.
He's suspended on
either side and he looks over.
Sully, help!
It's not my turn anymore.
It's not your turn anymore.
Glenn Vorunax as you come up behind Glimit
is your turn.
And he is further down.
He ran very, very fast
this time. So fast.
He was very fast with his no weapons.
I think I'm just going to use
athletics
to try to dodge the
arms up and over and maybe
parkour up the wall.
Let's see how the roll goes.
The roll doesn't go great.
That is a
nine.
Love it.
You immediately
bolt as you're rounding this corner.
You kind of tap Sully.
It looks real cool
for the first five or ten feet.
You're making your way.
You're jumping up on the arms.
And then one of them grabs your foot
and you swing and you smack your head
down on the ground.
You're going to take
three bludgeoning damage as your forehead
meets the floor.
And you are now suspended by these ghosts
upside down
as Vorunax and Sully are making their way behind you.
No, I'm in front.
They kind of caught up.
We're doing like group
rolls here.
Legs, so much longer than mine.
Of course she's in front of me.
Vorunax, you're coming up behind
your spider legs
following behind you.
I'm going to pull out my
days of playing
varsity sports ball
and water deep
and juke and jive my way
between these arms with some
body deception.
I love it.
That's a skill I'm good at.
Absolutely it is.
Body deception.
Twenty-seven.
Okay, love it.
Okay.
You make your way.
Do you want to get to Glim
and help Glim or you want to make your way past Glim
leave Glim for Sully and make your way to
Hillup? I really want to make my way to
Hillup because Hillup's doing
not a smart thing.
Welcome to
Hillup.
Love it.
Hillup's turn. He is
otherwise occupied.
So you make your way
to Hillup on your next turn.
You can free him.
Sully, it is your turn.
So Glim is being suspended
as if
Glim owes
the hallway lunch money.
Give me my money.
Back in elementary school, junior high
or whatever cultist version
of that would be.
Sully was a gymnast
so he's into the gymnastics.
And this isn't really
a side of himself that he's shown.
But seeing Glim
suspended upside down
is very upsetting because
she's always so strong and
so he's pulling
it out and he's going to use some acrobatics
to
essentially hand spring
off of one of the hands that
comes out or one of the wooden
that comes out
and then to kind
of hand spring and do a backflip
and land
probably
like
like waist area
like
I'm so sorry my face is near your butt
kind of thing.
And try
to add
weight to it because he notices that one of
them is not one of those strong woods.
It's a weak wood.
It's got that weak wood.
Oh fuck off.
Eight.
I have a plus five in acrobatics.
Ridiculous.
So you managed to do
the flips and the trips
and then you make it and you land
on Glim and now you're
face to butt with Glim.
The wood was
not as weak as you thought it was
though and it is now
extended down and
enveloping Glim and you
and is beginning to pull you
up into the ceiling.
Glim you are about waist deep
and that means Sully is
Sully's head is up into the ceiling
now as well. It is your
turn to try and do something.
We've got one, two
successes, two failures.
Uh oh. Oh that's
really nice Sully. Thanks for the hug. I was
feeling a bit embarrassed since I really
missed that.
Okay.
What am I good at? Only talking
things so.
Try and reason with this wall.
It's got ears.
Oh because the
ears hear the stuff.
Oh Amy very
good.
Okay well maybe
They're hands. Yeah.
That's what we see is hands.
Yeah we've established yet.
Okay so I'm going to use
performance and I'm
going to start singing the
hand jive to see if I can
get them involved
in that and let us go
because they gotta use
those hands you know.
If I've known any hand jive
if you hear it you have to start doing it.
You have to do it legally.
It's really good guys.
Nice.
Twenty one.
That was a laugh
that could have gone either way. I liked it.
I really didn't know it was going to happen.
I fucked up guys.
I see the same laugh.
No that's awesome. Okay.
That's true.
Hand jive begins
and you feel them begin to
release and all along the hallway
even hillops begin to release as well.
And he falls flat on the ground
and you two tumble down on the ground as well
as the hand jive
is now careful
as the
hand jive is now
commencing.
That is not how you hand jive.
What did I see
when my head was stuck up in the ceiling?
What did you see when your head was
stuck up in the ceiling?
You saw a glimpsed butt.
But if you look to the left
you saw
like this
temporal vortex
like this black space with
colors swirling all around it.
You saw ghostly figures moving
in and out of the space. You saw
off into the distance this light
that looked like it was this greenery
beyond it.
As you
fall to the ground, hand jive is
commencing around you. Three successes.
You are
able to continue the hand jive
and continue this performance
all the way down
and make your way out of this hallway
to where there's a clearing away from all
the whispering in the arms.
You are at the base
of what appears to be
the similar winding staircase
that you went down
in the tour earlier in the evening.
Wow, that was
brilliant. Glam way to go.
Very. Well, everybody
likes to dance, I think. Especially
here. I know they're kind of like trying to kill
us now, but everybody's kind of obvious.
They were born to hand jive, baby. Should we go up?
Yeah. I mean, these stairs
led to the kitchen earlier.
Are we not near
that or should we
look around, see if the entrance
to the kitchen's nearby? But I
assume based off of everything I've learned
so far that this is kind of just an
amorphous house. Yeah, nothing
really seems to be where it was before.
Yeah. Can we hear Benjamin crying?
I'm going to listen really hard. You listen,
you hear the sound of
hands clapping and jiving.
You hear, you don't
hear Benjamin crying.
You do hear the
sound of like a clicking noise.
Well, I don't love that.
I don't think I do either. No.
So up, up the
stairs? That's the atlas just maybe.
Each step you take, you hear that
clicking noise and it sounds like it's moving
above you in whatever
ceiling space is above.
And you're making your way rounding
the staircase up to
the foyer area.
And you see the same
hallway that you walk down
that leads back out and around to
the garden and the foyer.
There is of course the main,
the larger staircase that goes
upstairs where you were told the
Count's quarters were.
And as
you make your way up to this, this landing
space, the
picture frame on the wall,
the one that you examined
earlier, Vorunax, has
swung completely open. And you
see the image of
Lady Azold
and she is like peeking
around a corner. Her eyes are
glaring red.
Everybody make a
saving throw.
Up the Constitution
for Ryan.
Add a plus, add a plus 4 to it.
Oh wait. Oh it's still not enough.
6. 12.
Or no 8. Sorry.
Mine was 8. 25 for me then.
Yours was 8?
Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. Okay.
You're gonna roll for Hillip too please?
He has
a 13. Plus 4.
17.
Solly and Vorunax,
you immediately
lock eyes with Lady Azold
and you feel yourself being
like pulled forward towards
her as if this
as if some sort of force
has like lifted you off your feet.
Glim and Hillip, you
see them, they're walking
narrowly
focused on this picture towards
Lady Azold.
Glim? Glim?
I don't.
We need to stop whatever that is.
Hey guys! Come on!
Maybe we
punch them!
Drag them down!
It won't hurt if I do it!
Who would just punch a defenseless person?
Please don't do that.
Punches Vorunax in the face
for a 14.
Misses.
See, it didn't hurt.
I was just trying something.
Averting my eyes, I'm gonna maybe
try and go and attack the picture.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Rather than our friends.
Love it.
So that is a
20. No. Yep.
23. Stationary object.
You got it.
So that's 10 damage
to Le Painting.
Okay, you swing down into
this painting and a
hideous scream comes out of this
flashing red light blares.
Vorunax and Sully, you're immediately
snapped out. You've made it like
five feet, just like reaching
out towards this picture frame.
This blinding red light
and like these ghostly apparitions
begin pouring out and into
the halls and being
sucked up into the walls of the building.
And it begins to rumble and shake
around you.
Aw, thanks.
I mean, glad I stopped that.
This whole situation seems
bad now.
Hey, unicorn asshole.
Come down here and fight like a
real horse.
There is a
snap.
And all four of you
find yourselves
crouched in a
completely
uncomfortable and
confining cave.
And down at
the end of this cave,
you see the face of
the unicorn staring at
you. And he says, how does it
feel?
Yeah, it feels bad. We
acknowledge that. I feel like we always
did. Why did you keep doing it?
It was
an accident. You know what?
Moot can't actually control it.
The magic
in him is unpredictable.
Once he turned into a goat,
he used to be taller.
He used to be taller. He was
a goat for a while.
I told you
the last time that if it
happened again that you would regret
it. Guess what happened?
Guess what
happened? I showed
up at a fucking
potato explosion.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, so the potato
explosion was trying to
make amends and voicing
just a party and having
a good time being like,
OK, let bygones be bygones.
It's been a couple years. They've learned
their lesson. And then a fucking
potato explosion
poured into my entire
entire village. Oh, my
goodness. I don't
know what to say. I'm really sorry.
I mean, there's no
excuse. I'm saying sorry as an
apology, not as an admission of guilt
because I cannot control what
Moot does. Moot's his
own man. Lord, I've
tried. And to be
fair to these two, they had
nothing to do with it. I mean, we
don't either. I'm
not laughing. Are we just guilty
by association?
Is that what's going on here?
And really, let's be
honest. It was
bad and wrong. I agree.
We shouldn't have done it. It was
probably frightening and disorienting
and angering.
But really, haven't you now in
punishment to us and Moot done
the same thing to these two fine
gentlemen who have done nothing wrong
ever in their lives?
What if
they've now like, you
know, now they've got vengeance and
they're hot and they're going to go after you and
make some sort of big potty trap.
Yeah. Have you thought about
that? I know
that hurt unicorns, hurt
people,
but I think you're just sort
of perpetuating the cycle and it's not
a great idea. Yes, no.
You're going to stay in this
cave for a while.
I'm not going to tell you
what Vorunax has
or has not done, but he deserves
to stay in this cave for a while
too. Well, he seemed like nothing
but nice to me. And Hylop,
you know what Hylop's done.
Yeah, but being annoying isn't
a crime.
Isn't it? I'm going
to take Moot.
And he's going to be in my new
haunted house for quite some time.
You're having a whole new haunted
house? Well, this one's falling apart.
Are we invited to that one?
I mean, because aside from this, the rest
of the party was awesome.
Oh my gosh. Thank you.
I do enjoy throwing
a party. A shindig, if you will.
Mr. Mortimer really puts it on.
Oh my gosh. Where did you find him?
Well, he
was trapped here.
How do you come across this place?
Like left
in the family?
It was a family abode.
All of the images
and stuff, they're actually unicorns.
They put it on. We were going to have
a unicorn themed event.
But then the potato incident
happened and I was like, no, no, Mr.
Mortimer. I'm so mad at Moot now.
We could have been
at a unicorn themed event,
Solly. Maybe next time.
He disappoints me on so many
levels. You could leave me here.
I could come help you plan your next
haunted house or event
if you wanted to be as horrific as this one.
I could give you some pointers.
Not a bad job.
I feel like you could have upped it up
on maybe the blood and gore.
Like if the hands weren't made of wood
and they were actually like, oh, dismembered
hands would be pretty good. Yes, yes, yeah, that
could have been good too. You know, I can hook you up
with some people like
most people do the blood coming
down the walls. I got a guy who can make it
come up the walls. Up the
walls? Up the fucking walls.
Oh my god. I mean, I paid money.
I would pay money to see that.
Me too.
Okay. So you're going to stay
here and think about what you've done for a little
while. Okay, we'll stay
here and think about what Moot has done.
Moot's going to come with me.
Vorunax,
once you find a way to get
out too, come join me.
I am vindictive.
So I'm not going to just let you free,
but I will enjoy a party
next time around. And Vorunax, I'm going to
take you up on that blood up the walls.
That's an interesting thing.
Hold on, has Moot completely ruined the
party invitation from now on?
Like, are we banned from the future parties?
If you can go a full year
without summoning
me to a random location
with an onslaught of mashed potato
and gravy.
Gravy too, huh?
A full year
to the day.
Then your invite
will be sent. So Moot, is he like
in pain or anything?
You hear muffled
calls.
Well, at least
he's alive. Yeah.
I mean,
he can't...
I mean,
of course, we are fully
on board with never summoning you
anywhere ever again. Absolutely.
One year, at the very least. For an entire
year. Proving
a pattern at that point.
Moot
is the one who is
doing the magic.
So...
So Moot lives with me now.
I mean, that makes... That's okay. Makes
sense. Yeah. Vorunax agrees.
If Moot accidentally summons
the unicorn, then it doesn't go anywhere
because it's with him.
Okay, wait.
What if
Moot just doesn't do magic
anymore?
Like, we can teach him to fight and stuff.
Sure.
Didn't you say it's an accidental thing?
It's just kind of like... You mean
like... Well, like if he does magic,
like sometimes weird stuff happens.
Sometimes there's like a consequence.
Okay. Oh.
I mean, his blog
has been going really good.
You know, the buffet reviews. Maybe he could
just focus on that for a while.
Love it. Okay.
So what you've convinced me of is sending
you home with Moot in this
sealed encasement
where he will be
straw-fed buffet materials.
Not perform magic.
And then we'll see you next
year at the...
At the...
I forgot my fucking name.
At the Kron Manor
Haunted Halloween Extravaganza.
Okay, but if we're straw-feeding
him...
What... He's in this
case.
What comes in, what
has to come out.
That's too many logistics for the end of this episode.
Oh, alright.
You hear the sound
of hooves clopping. It's like,
figure it out. You'll get out.
I managed to get out the last time
we did this thing. It'll be fine.
It'll be okay. Moot, you'll find him
out by the front entryway.
And you can just, like, glide him down
in the carriage. Mr.
Mortimer will make sure you get home.
Okay. It's been really great talk.
Don't let any of the ghosts
eat you on the way out.
Okay, thanks for the invitation.
I mean, he was really, honestly, very
reasonable. You know,
I've seen worse.
We fade up and out of the cave
and all of you stuck
in this underground
abode and the
haunted house beginning to crumble
around on top of you.
And sure enough, Moot,
as if in
a certain space
type movie,
is floating outside,
being escorted by
ghostly figures down to the carriage
waiting for you to arrive as the
blood moon rises over
the haunted house of
Count Kron.
Dumbgeons and Dragons
Halloween at Kron Manor
Part 2.
This episode starred Amy More as Sully,
Carla Maxdead as Glim,
with Kyle Claset as Vorunax,
and Amy More as your dungeon master.
Dialogue Editing and Sound Design by Russ More.
This episode featured music from
Epidemic Sound and sound effects
from Epidemic Sound and sound ideas.
A huge thank you to our supporting
producers, Gabriel Lynch,
Jessica Babyok, Cat Waterflame,
Jacob Madden, Christian Brown,
Angerong Kierzen, Craig Zeiss,
Perry Matey, Old School Gamer D,
Kayla Littlejohn,
L.A. Branton, Nathaniel Teeter,
and Luna. Join us today at
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
We're in between seasons, but that doesn't
mean the episodes are stopping. We have our
monthly Patreon exclusive podcast
available over there right now.
5 seasons, all to catch up
on. Plus so much more bonus content,
a live show in November,
and hangouts.
We hang out a lot. It's
kind of our thing. So join us today
at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon
cast. Thank you so much for listening,
so you have a great week, and we'll
talk again soon.
I love
how it was all Tom's fault,
and he's not even here. And he's not even
here. He's not even here. He will never
hear the end of this, but we shouldn't say
anything until the episode comes out, I'm assuming.
Oh, definitely not. That's right. He won't
even know. It'll be a fun surprise for him.
Make sure you listen to this one, Tom.
There are some repercussions
for you, Tom.
Way to go, Tom.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.