DUMBGEONS & DRAGONS

Season 2 • May 20, 2020

E45 - Trade a Donkey?

↓ TXT ↓ SRT

Transcript

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Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.

You have reached the city of Proskur.

Uh, so, I've been here a few times. Good soil, too.

So, to find the map we're looking for a man. Last name, Undertask.

Well, I mean, most people know him by Thunderaxe.

Sully, do you see that?

Oh, that guy with the rash?

Yeah, the blue man group over there juggling.

My name is Eska Nerveen.

I have had some such similar things happen to me in the past.

Perhaps we could talk about this over a snow cone or something.

I mean, I'm always up for that. Can Sully come, too? He loves snow cones.

You look back and Sully is gone.

Two individuals come up behind Sully and throw a bag over his head.

Jesus fucking Bahamut, what the hell is going on here?

You do remember the good Leiden Menda, don't you?

The look on your face tells me you perhaps don't remember.

I've met a lot of people in my life.

You go to High Moon, you find this scroll.

The scroll is going to be at the Temple of Agma.

Well, you know what? I hate being under someone's toe like this.

Do this mail delivery, sure, and we won't kill Merve.

I mean, that was on our list of things to do.

We just didn't know where he was and now I guess we do?

This poor guy's just a fisher.

He's probably just like, the fuck is happening?

Two men start walking towards you. One draws a crossbow.

Hey, what the fuck?

Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. We're a D&D 5th edition actual play podcast

and I'm your dungeon master, Russ More, and with me today is Amy More.

I am with you today and all days and I play Sullivan's Light.

And Carla Maxted.

I am with you one evening a week and this is that evening and I play Glim.

And finally, Tom Laird.

I'm also with you one evening a week except for this week and last week where this week

it's already two evenings a week for me and Russ and last week I think we were up to four?

Four evenings last week.

We really do love each other.

We got three this week too, at least most of us.

We spend a lot of time together.

And where you can spend more time with us is several places but primarily Patreon.

Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast where when you are a patron you get access to our public

discord but there are private Patreon exclusive channels in there.

As well we have an entire other podcast, More of What You Love over there,

DM'ed by Tom Laird.

And this month we're wrapping up season three of that story.

What?

And then next month we're starting season four.

I know we're only on season two.

They're baby seasons.

Just little itty-bitty boys.

We can call them whatever we want to over there.

They're stories, they're vignettes, they're seasons.

That's what we call them.

And we really enjoy playing those games and we want you to come enjoy them too.

So Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.

And when you are a patron you also get an episode dedicated to you.

Like today's patron, Jonathan Nguyen.

Thanks Jonathan.

Thanks Jonathan.

Thank you Jonathan.

Fuck it, let's play D&D.

Glim and Sully coming towards you are two male people.

One pulling out his crossbow.

Oh, it's not what I thought it was going to say.

It's not that kind of town.

Or maybe.

I don't know.

They're in trench coats.

They could have been pulling out anything.

Could have been.

I said overcoats, not trench coats.

We're losing the steam here.

Sully and Glim towards you are coming two male figures.

One is pulling out a crossbow.

The other has a hand on his blade.

And in his other hand, the closer he gets, you see he has a pamphlet in his hand.

It says, excuse me.

Yes?

Is this yours?

Did you?

It is.

Did you want to learn a little bit more about Bahamut?

No.

Oh.

Oh.

Well.

You need to take this and he shoves it towards you and not spread it around here.

Well that seems really close-minded of you guys.

He maintains eye contact with Glim.

You don't?

Oh.

Well.

I just was telling Leopold.

We just met.

I was buying some supplies and I was telling him about-

We talked to Leopold.

We got your story.

All 48 minutes of it.

We don't need those thoughts around this town that is quite happy the way it is.

Yeah, you guys seem super happy.

Couldn't everyone just be a little bit happier though?

Don't you feel like in your heart you could be like, I could be happier.

I could have more fulfillment.

I'm the happiest motherfucker around here.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's just that your countenance is so...

My job doesn't allow me to put up a front of happiness.

We are happy here.

Oh.

Oh.

Okay.

Take your pamphlets.

And be on your way.

Well, the good news is we're just passing through.

We are on a mission to save the world.

So we're not going to be here very long.

We're just looking for a map from a guy.

And then we are out of here to leave you to all your happiness.

From off to the side of you, as you say, looking for a map from a guy.

There's an older dwarf that cuts between you and says,

what seems to be the problem here, Victor?

He says, well, these fine folks here were just leaving, they said, after they find some map.

So they don't spread any ideas around here that might cause some issues.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Don't worry.

I'll take care of them.

I'll get them on their way.

Don't worry.

Just go back to circle jerking around the get going.

I'll take care of them.

Turns and looks at you and says, just come with me.

And he starts walking off.

Excuse me, sir.

Did you just say circle jerking?

Moot, you're seated at a tavern with Esca

and you've been talking about different sporadic occurrences,

not things that you have been trying to do and trying to find some correlation to them.

Esca is in midst describing one of these events.

They've already described to you the tidal wave that came on.

And as you found out, in fact, killed a lot of their family.

They were driven out by the rest out of fear, mostly,

but also an underlying hatred of them and this ability that has come upon them.

And they're describing another event where

like a crack in the earth opened up as they were trying to do one of their tricks.

And since everyone around them fleeing, some people got hurt.

No one, fortunately, died.

But Esca describes that moment of like there was this well-up of

it felt like something inside was trying to break free.

I could feel it.

My hair started to freeze.

My feet started to burn.

The elements inside of me, I just couldn't control them anymore.

And it released into this earthquake in front of me.

I mean, that sounds terrifying.

So you didn't feel this until after you used the magic.

Like kind of you didn't feel it before or anything like that.

It was it was only after everything seems to be tied to when I

perform or when I do tricks or when I cast these.

And I guess you could call them spells when I do these events.

Everything is tied to when one of those occurs.

Yeah, mine have been mine have been after I've used magic as well.

So I think that's the the correlation there.

But I just I just I wish there was a way to know if

there was a safe time for you to do your tricks or me to use magic.

Like if there was a feeling we had inside that we thought like,

oh, I can I can feel it kind of like a tingling behind the ears or whatever it is.

Like I know it's coming, but you don't you don't feel any.

I mean, I haven't felt anything like that till after I've used the magic.

And then that's when the things happen.

Sometimes like after an and a strange event doesn't occur for a while.

Like I can feel this buildup inside of me.

Like it almost comes out as some like like an anger.

Like it changes my mood.

It changes who who I am and what I feel.

OK, I can that it's more predominant when

when it hasn't happened in a while.

And that's when I know like it's it could be like a bad one.

So almost like there's some sort of reservoir inside you

that's filling up and then it reaches a breaking point.

He starts to nod across from me.

He says, yeah, yeah, yeah, that that kind of hits the nail on the head.

Have you have you noticed that there's like a similar amount of time

that goes by in between these things happening?

Or is it just sometimes you go for a long time and then it happens

and sometimes it happens real quick?

Or is there any sort of thing like that that you've noticed?

There's there's no doesn't seem to be any pattern to it.

It's not like once this time it happens,

that means it's going to happen next time.

Sometimes it happens a couple in a row.

Sometimes it doesn't happen for like weeks or months on end.

So no rhyme or reason, really.

Not that I've found.

Smoot writes that down in his notebook.

Well, I mean, I take a lot of notes, as you can see.

I think it's almost full.

You know, yes, I need so many books.

I think I'm going to start trying to track when this happens for me.

And see if I can determine any sort of pattern.

Maybe you should do the same

and then we can compare notes in the future next time I'm in town.

When when's the next time you're going to be in town?

Well, I mean, we've been running all over the place.

So I think probably sooner than later.

OK, yeah, I can I can try and keep track.

It's not something I really want to happen,

but I will do my best to.

Oh, no, I don't want it to happen either.

But knowing when it might happen

could give us a leg up on maybe controlling or avoiding bad situations.

He leans back in his in his seats and reaches into his bag and pulls out a flute.

Starts to play it not well, but just blows on it and starts to play it.

Puts it down.

OK, OK, I'll I'll do my best to.

Make a note going to have to get a notebook.

I don't keep track of many things.

But yeah, let's do it next time you're here.

If I'm here, we can make notes.

Perfect.

That sounds at least as something.

And if it ends up being nothing, then, you know,

I guess it was an exercise in futility.

But hey, it might lead us to kind of cracking the code on this.

We're like detectives of the unknown.

Oh, I like that.

Yeah.

Oh, should I start a detective agency?

This could be something.

We can call us the note takers, the note buddies, the detective note cases.

We'll workshop the name.

We'll workshop the name.

OK, perfect.

Perfect.

Looking forward to that, too.

I'll write down some ideas for that as well.

Well, I don't want to keep you.

You told your friends you'd be back there.

Walk with you back to town square there.

Certainly.

You get up and he settles the bill for you.

And you walk back out into the street.

We cut back to Glim and Sully who are following behind an older dwarf,

gray, long gray beard, bald head, kind of torn and tattered work clothes

that he's wearing.

And he's just.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, like a tunic and like brown trousers.

Yeah, just that.

Yeah, not very well cleaned.

And he says, so what is it you need?

You need a map.

Hey, thanks for diffusing the situation over there

and for explaining what a sucker jerk is.

Well, a lot of the law enforcement in town

really just like to hear the sound of their own voice

because there's no real law enforcement here.

It's just everybody just steals from each other.

Yeah, it seems weird in a town where you can just steal.

You can't talk about the good news about bomb

and it seems like a weird priority.

But I guess, you know, everybody has their own culture.

So that's I shouldn't be judgmental about that.

The primary religion here is one of thieves and trickers

and liars and sinners, so to speak.

If you look at it from Bahamut's point of view,

they don't want that so much.

The other one less known, but still predominant

is Tempus, god of war, primarily concerned with

destruction.

Right, not really compatible religions, I guess, with mine.

I understand, I understand.

Their concern being that if someone gets the idea

that there's a true good or right

that maybe the whole system falls apart.

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Yeah, I guess I can see that from their point of view.

I wonder if this might seem like a crazy question,

but you're not Thunder Axe, are you?

Looks to you and you've stopped walking by this point.

You're out front of another looks like a shop

or home on top and he looks up to the sign

that is in front there and kind of points to it.

You see Thunder Axe on it says, yeah, yeah, that's me.

Well, that is amazing because you are exactly

who we're looking for.

Nobody says that in a long time.

Well, I'm on a mission.

We have a destiny to save the world and I need to.

Anyway, we need a map.

Apparently, maybe you have a map that.

Of the world of the map of the world.

Oh, OK, specifically more specifically.

I have many maps, but yes, I am one of the few

who possess a map of, you know,

the full world to a reasonable extent.

Yes, so is that what you sell here or?

Come in.

Sure, thanks.

I'm sorry.

Do you want it?

Moot should be coming back.

I don't know.

I'm not going to lie to you, man.

I don't want to be alone.

Yeah, no, you're right.

You're right.

You just yeah, come with me.

Last time I was alone, I was put into a sack.

My friend just got kidnapped and then escaped.

It's been a very busy morning so far.

It's a it's a rough town.

I'm not going to lie.

It doesn't jump out to me as an unusual occurrence

that your friend has gone through.

Right.

To be very fair, though, I thought it would have happened anywhere.

Yeah, Sully's a bit of a magnet for.

I was going to say scamp.

Oh, oh yeah, I was going to say magnet for trouble,

but scamp is really encapsulates your whole thing very well.

So come in, stay outside, do what you like.

I'd rather talk about your map, your adventure,

your saving the world inside.

Yes, yes, we'll come inside, of course.

You head in and it's a it's a modest

workshop.

Looks like he does a little bit.

There's a small forge in the back, a woodworking area.

He's got some some weapons and armor and shields up on the wall.

You see, Glim, you see one sword that catches your eye above everything else.

It looks like it almost stands out of place in the in the room.

It is a almost radiant long sword.

It's the closer you look at it.

If you do, you see intricate like carving work

like along the blade.

The Hilton pommel are just divine compared to everything else around it.

This sword is.

Wow, this is really something.

Was this I assumed you fought with an axe, thunder axe, I assumed.

Is this your sword?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is.

That's that's able.

Is he able to split someone in half?

Yeah, it's family weapons been searching for.

There's a pair of them and searching for them for a while.

Found the one for is able to find the other took ill here

and just never found the strength to kind of keep going.

But yeah, so you have a destiny to save the world.

Yeah, destiny to save the world.

We need to get to to man Thor and I need to declare my loyalty.

And it's, you know, I mean, that's we're just working our way there.

It's a long ways away.

We got a new, more urgent sort of pressing mission because of the kidnapping.

So I guess we need to know how to get to to high moon.

And then also, if you have a map that's going to show us the way

to to man Thor, that'd be great.

He walks over to a large drawer in a big wooden wardrobe and pulls it out.

And you see scrolls all rolled up inside of it and kind of flicks through and say,

no, not this one.

Pulls one out, looks at it.

It's a large map and pulls it.

I was like, yeah, there we go.

Lays it on the table and unrolls it.

He says, this is as I've seen it, the entire world of toriel.

What's a lot bigger when you look at it all on a big piece of paper.

And he points to a spot on the map and says, well, where, where did you say you came from?

Oh, well, we didn't.

We all met in never winter.

My friend points to the map and says, you're never winter's up here.

Right.

And you said time, man, Thor.

Yeah.

Well, that's way down here.

Right.

Down near unther here.

Okay.

So, I mean, we've got a, a ways to go.

And what about high moon?

Pretty, pretty close to where we are now.

Right.

We could probably, uh, reasonably close.

I mean, you could probably make it in a couple of 10 day.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Excuse me.

We're sorry.

Hold on.

Wait, how many of the tents did you say?

Uh, well, it's a fair distance out there.

He points.

We're here in Prosker right here, right next to the bridge of fallen men.

Uh, hi moon.

Well, the Dale lands are over here.

Jesus Christ.

That's like, and Sully puts his fingers out when he's like,

that's like a whole hand away.

Yeah.

I mean, you got to cut through the mountains there.

It's going to take you a while.

Couple mountain ranges to pass over.

Shit.

And you could try and how's that?

Will that be faster?

Um, well, if you were to get a, if you were to be able to charter,

Sarah Loon is, uh, on the coast here.

Uh, and where's high moon?

High moon is up in, uh, up in the Dale land.

Good Lord.

How would they expect me to get to, to get to high moon and then to Sarah Loon

all within 10 days?

Oh my God, most gonna die.

I'm sorry to hear that for.

Yeah, it's real shitty.

I just, um, do we even bother going?

I mean, well, I mean, he's your very best friend.

I think we probably should try.

Right.

And Ms.

Ma'am, meow, meow.

I mean, there's a lot of things kind of counting on us

getting to, to high moon and then to Sir Loon in the next 10 days.

Oh my God.

Is there like, okay, is there any way that we can travel faster?

Faster than like a horse or a ship?

Yeah.

Uh, I mean, I usually just traveled by, by cart or by foot.

Not no.

Is that why you're it's called cartography?

Sure.

No, I don't, I, I don't think that's right.

It doesn't sound right.

Actually, it was right folks.

Little did he know cartography is the making of maps.

Yeah, that's exactly it.

Well, I know that's the making of maps.

I don't know what I didn't think it's because there's a cart.

Why else would it be called that?

Russ getting back to the story sort of like a stopped clock is right twice a day.

I think that's what we've hit upon with Sully and this assertation about cartography.

You do not have to look up cartography, hon.

It's fine.

The showing the work part wasn't correct, but he arrived at the right answer.

He arrived at the right answer, which is impressive in its own way.

Is there any way to travel faster than a horse and a cot and a, and a ship?

And is the like, are there horses with wings?

I mean, have you do they sell?

I mean, I know you can get your hands on a lot of kind of like down low stuff.

I'm starting to feel like this town's changed a lot since the last time I've been here.

But when was the last time you was here?

Oh, like, you know, his agent, like your shop was in here, that's for sure.

I've been here for a while.

Yeah. So it's been a long time.

OK, so say you had only 10 days.

To get to High Moon and then to Sirloin and lives depended on it.

You know, this immediate area much better than we do.

What would you suggest?

Uh, well, I mean, you could try and arrange for some sort of

teleportation magics.

I don't even like to get involved with that shit.

Gosh, that's how I lost move in the first place.

Yeah, seems very risky and also expensive.

I mean, to make it through the mountain rages alone is going to be like,

I don't know, most of a 10 day if you're walking.

And if we're horsing?

Well, if you're horsing, it's going to take about half that.

If you if you make good trails and you got a strong horse.

OK, so we need three strong horses and good trails to not take a five days.

Glam, I just I don't know when I just.

I usually have a plan and I just.

Yeah.

Well, we don't need to talk this out in front of you.

Thank you so much.

We can we we'd love to buy the maps are going to be a big help.

Of course, of course.

And we'll keep an eye out for that sword.

Does the other one match this one?

Um, yeah, yeah, it does.

I mean, we will be traveling all over so much of the whole known world.

So who knows what we'll find kind of stopping things.

Yeah, it's very, very similar in design.

And of or about it rolls up the map and just hands it to you and says,

no, no charge.

Oh, well, thank you.

And thanks again for helping us with those those guards out there.

We will guess we gotta we gotta find mood and then we should just really get going.

We don't have a lot of time.

No, yeah, I guess not.

Well, I wish you the best on your journey.

And I hope this map does you well.

Going to want to move fast.

Yeah, thanks for all your help.

So we exit onto the street.

Sully screams, I need a horse.

People just kind of look at you and one guy comes up.

It says, you need a horse.

I got a horse.

I just got to look right here.

And then he opens his dress.

I got watches with horses on them.

No, I need an actual physical horse.

You're wasting valuable valuable time.

So I could die.

Geez, geez, look here.

Just men trying to make a business.

Look, come on, get out of here.

Get out of my face.

I don't want to buy a horse watch.

You get your face out of my face.

Walks off.

Son of a Jesus Christ.

You go circle jerk yourself.

Did I do it right?

I think circle jerk.

That must be Sully.

Just screaming circle jerk in the middle of town square.

Guys, you got what are those maps?

Moose, so much has happened.

Yes.

Yes.

We need to get to High Moon and then Sarah Loon.

Otherwise, Merv is going to die.

Whoa.

Oh, that's what I mean.

Sully got kidnapped and we we found the maps.

We I got in trouble for putting out pamphlets.

It's been a very I hope.

As guy, I hope you guys had a nice visit too.

Just I don't mean to be rude, but a lot has happened.

We sort of are on a bit of a time crunch to get to our next destination or Merv might die.

And also miss me and meows can come after me.

Yeah, more.

Oh, well, yeah, I don't want to deal with her again.

She's awful, awful, awful person.

OK, I guess, Asuka.

Yeah.

So do do your best to track it.

Of course.

Yeah.

Well, we'll figure it out if we if we can.

If not, yeah, at least we tried.

Yeah, of course.

I'll keep track.

Hold on.

You don't have any fast horses, do you?

Ways to get places real fast.

Specifically.

No, I don't have, you know, like, where do you like?

How quick do you need 10 days?

High moon.

Are you OK?

I mean, and Sirloin.

We got we just got to get there and then do a bunch of stuff.

So just get a scroll.

You can make it from high moon to Sirloin in a few days.

But I mean, getting to high moon, that's kind of tough.

I mean, there's a shop down by the town square there that I mean, they sell some.

I mean, they sell some.

Some, you know, black market magic stuff like maybe could help some guys.

I think I owe it to Merv.

I don't expect you to come with me.

Oh, we're a team.

We've got to save.

I mean, I'm with you, I think.

Right, Moon?

Yeah, I mean, this is the first time hearing of all of this.

It sounds very exciting.

But wherever you guys go, you know, I'm there with you.

We have a destiny.

So I think this is just another stop along the way.

It's the middle time, baby.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

How's it going, everybody?

Thanks for listening on this fine week.

Hopefully you're well and safe and doing doing fine.

Just living your best lives, or at least.

Okay versions of your lives.

Yeah, something that resembles maybe what it used to be like.

Or nothing at all, but you're finding the joy in that too.

Hopefully if we're here with you, that means there's some normalcy in your life

because we're here.

We got you every week, every Wednesday.

We're here for you.

We want to thank some patrons this week who have gifted us some names to use.

They've gifted us items as well, but names specifically to use

in this latest episode here.

We're going to list some character names and who gave them to us.

So Bollnil Thunderax Undertask is from Nathan Hacking.

Thank you, Nathan.

Such a fun name.

And so hard to say.

Impossible, basically.

Eska Nerveen, or Eska Nerveen.

I think we said Nerveen in the episode, but if it's Nerveen, I'm very sorry.

That's ALex Garrity.

Thank you, ALex.

Thank you, thank you.

That was a fun character.

Merv, who is not a new character, but a recurring character, is from Christian Brown.

Christian, so sorry I lost him.

He was with us for such a short period of time.

So short.

Flintthea and New Laura lost him as well as Sully lost him.

So really we've lost him twice.

Perfect.

Just keep mis- mis-placing Merv.

And Leydon Menda, who made a comeback again, is from Jacob Madden.

So thank you, Jacob.

Thank you, Jacob.

If you would like to put your name, or some other name, into the show and have it live

on forever in podcast fandom, in podcast infamy.

If you want that to happen, Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, if you join us

at the in world tier, which is $15 a month, you can give us a character name

and an item to gift to a specific character.

And we will do our best to work those in in a timely-ish fashion,

but make it work with the show and with everything going on.

We've got lots more cool names coming up in the next little while,

and hopefully we'll see yours.

So Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, we hope to see you over there.

And now, let us get back to the episode.

We'll talk to y'all next week.

Thank you for being here.

Be safe.

Have fun.

Wash your hands.

Thanks, guys.

Love you, bye.

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Sully has never felt such, like, brotherhood and camaraderie before.

And it's like, like wipes away, like a little, like, OK, well, that's real,

that's real nice of you guys.

It's like real dangerous and stuff.

And this isn't your shit.

So so I thank you.

Let's let's go do some black.

Let's go do some black magic.

No, black, black market magic.

Black, black magic.

OK, let's go.

OK, OK, magic markers.

OK, your friend is very stressed.

I understand.

OK, he says, just follow me.

And he takes you back to the town square there.

And the shop that Glim, you were speaking to the woman in,

he leads you to there.

But it looks like it's been closed up.

Oh, no.

Oh, do you think they're open?

Can we knock frantically?

I mean, it's a knock of a desperate man.

She lives upstairs.

She don't usually.

OK, you're knocking.

Excuse me, shopkeeper.

Her name is her name is Charmy.

Charmy.

If she comes down, maybe just slow down.

Maybe you hear kind of the thing rattling and she the sliders open

and she looks out and says, what is the problem?

Eska, why?

Why?

She really was down for a nap or something, hey?

No, that's how I say it when I'm woken up from a nap.

What what is the problem?

Hi, I'm back and I'm sorry to be so rude.

It's just my friend that I was looking for.

I'm so sorry.

He was kidnapped.

You really were right about that.

And then something about the pamphlets.

And I mean, that doesn't matter.

Sorry, I wasn't trying to sell you out there.

I just don't like to get mixed up.

They asked where I was.

You told them it's no problem.

What's the shortest way to say this?

We need to get to High Moon real fast.

Otherwise, someone could die.

Oh, that sounds like a very big problem.

Do you sell anything that might be a solution to a very big problem?

Well, I don't have any horses here, if that's what you're asking.

What thing can maybe a little faster solution?

You see Charmé look to Eska and Eska kind of like nods.

She's okay.

Come in, come in, come in, come in, come in, come in, just come in.

We come in.

You enter into her shop and she closes and locks the sliders behind you

and says just go back through through the curtain there.

And you enter into this incense-filled room.

A candle lit all around the edge.

There's different vials and components all along the walls

and says you need to get to High Moon quickly.

It's not cheap to get such places.

I'm just going to say that out front because I got to run a business here.

Well, yeah, no, I understand.

That's fair.

That's fair.

We do have some money and we have a donkey and a cart,

which I assume we don't get to transport with us

by whatever means we might be going.

Rolf is like a real, real solid donkey.

So, sorry, you want to bring the donkey?

No, I just mean if we need to sell him.

He's a solid donkey.

Right. Well, okay.

So, because this spell, I mean, it normally goes for a thousand gold.

I don't know if your donkey is a thousand gold donkey.

No, I was sort of more suggesting perhaps you could take the donkey

and the cart and all of the supplies and all of the donkey supplies

that we just bought as partial payment.

And then also some of the gold we have in our pocket.

Yes.

I also have, well, so I have a thousand ball bearings.

I have this bell here and a candle.

I got this crowbar and a hammer.

I just start emptying my pockets.

Don't you have an expensive magical staff as well?

No, Jesus Christ.

How much?

No, that was a question for you.

I didn't know.

I was like, you outing me?

I do.

But I, Sully, I think kind of feels like that's a Hail Mary for him.

So if he's got.

Sure.

If he's got that left over, maybe he's got a big bang in his pocket.

Like he had the scroll of vitriolic sphere or whatever it was.

So, so you want to give me a donkey?

You want to give me a cart?

Everything in the donkey cart.

Things we may need to have on our bodies.

I mean, I don't really have a place for a donkey.

I don't really have a place.

You woke me up from a nap.

I'm so sorry.

We thought maybe it would help with deliveries or something.

I don't know.

I mean, we can try and we can try and sell it.

It's just.

Going to High Moon and then where?

To Sirloon.

Sirloon.

Yeah.

Is there anything you need delivered to that area?

Maybe we could play courier for you.

Is there anything you'd like us to bring back for you?

I mean, you got a lot of like bobs and boobles over you were.

You were.

I mean, you were passing pamphlets for like the heebie jeebie god of good.

Yes.

You wouldn't want to see any.

It would.

You'd have to steal something to make it worth my while here because exactly you

don't have money to pay for the thing that I need back.

And I mean, I just want it.

I just want it.

And then I say in thieves can't.

Oh, I don't mind stealing.

Okay.

You might have a deal.

If I send you to High Moon, you get whatever you need for your buddy.

Go to Sirloon.

There's a shipment coming in around the same time that you're supposed to be there.

I think is what you said.

Don't know.

There was a lot of numbers and things being spewed out there.

Ken, I got 10 days to do this.

Perfect.

There's some components, some items coming in on a ship from across the sea.

That would be beneficial to have in my repertoire here.

Yeah.

Okay.

So let's do this thing.

You don't want to talk to your friends about it.

Okay.

Yeah, sure.

Hey, you guys.

So it turns out she does need a delivery picked up from Sirloin.

And so what we can do is we can when we drop off the scroll,

we can pick up her shipment and then bring it back.

Well, that seems like a pretty good deal.

That sounds very fair.

Is this a two-way ticket spell?

Well, the time frame of getting it back here is not quite as bad.

So not perishables then.

We're not going to pick up a big order of sheep's milk or anything.

No.

Freshly baked bread or anything like that.

We'll need a wagon perhaps.

So maybe if we send you with your donkey, that could be a good idea.

I would like to keep both.

Right.

It's going to be real cramped in here.

Not sure how we're going to get a donkey and a cart through my shop back here.

But is there a way that we can, since this is going to be so fast,

we can do it out in maybe in the cover of darkness in like a field or something?

Don't usually like to do that in case of passerbys,

being that all of you will be leaving at the exact same moment.

Right.

A little suspicious I guess.

Leaves me kind of holding the bag there is all I'm saying if somebody walks by.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure.

Well, I mean, we can help you just move some things around in here so we make some more space.

Yeah.

I mean, it's a donkey.

It's not a horse.

That's true.

Smaller.

All right.

You bring your donkey back here.

I'll get set up.

We're going to sign some paperwork and all's going to be good.

Okay.

Sure.

Yeah.

Paperwork.

I'll sign the paperwork if you guys want to get the donkey and stuff.

Sure.

So Glim and Moot, you walk back out and ask us like, so is she going to do it for you?

Sounds like it.

We have to pick something up for her and bring it back afterwards.

But otherwise, I think we're good to go, Glim.

Is that the impression you got?

It sure is.

Yeah.

I think she's going to help and we're going to just bring something back for her.

Okay.

Perfect.

Yeah.

Just make sure you follow the contract to a T and all should be good.

Okay.

Thank you for all your help.

Of course.

He starts to walk away.

I'll see you next time.

Sounds like you're coming back.

We've got kind of a date to see if anything happens there now.

Yeah.

We'll be back in the near future.

Perfect.

All right.

Well, I'll see you then, Moot.

It's nice to meet you, Glim.

I'm just going to go back home.

Okay.

Bye.

See you, Eska.

He runs off and you see Melvin waving in his hair.

So you walk off and go get Rolf back inside.

So we just have to draft up the contract here, my dear.

You see her writing on a large scroll.

It says, you three, your names were again, Sully.

You know what?

Do we need all our names down for the whole stealing thing?

Can we just put mine down for that?

Well, I mean, the three of you are, you seem like a good team.

We're a great team, but you know what?

If shit goes sideways, this should be all on me.

Why would shit go sideways?

Doesn't shit always go sideways?

Have you been outside your shop?

All the time.

And shit never goes sideways for you.

I stood out in the square for like four minutes and got kidnapped.

Look, that's not things going sideways.

That's just a regular day of the week.

Well, you know what?

My days are a little bit harder than everybody else's.

If it's at all possible, it makes no difference to you so long as you get your stuff.

As long as I get my stuff.

You put my name down there.

You leave them out of this.

All right.

You see her write down just Sully then.

Let's go full name Sullivan Sleight.

Sullivan Sleight.

And she writes down a list of various spell compo...

Well, I'll fill out the list properly, but like spell components,

some different items that she's looking for.

When the shipment is coming in, it's in approximately 10 to 12 days in Sarah Loon.

It's coming from across the sea from Aglauron there.

Cool. Write it down.

It's down.

Don't forget it.

I get to take a copy of the contract, do I not?

You get to take a copy of what you need to get.

Not specifically this contract.

And she says, all right, you just need to sign here.

And she holds up a sharp, thin dagger.

Do you want to make it official?

Oh, no, yeah, no, totally.

This is very standard.

Just a little drop will do.

But I'm curious about the terms of the agreement.

Well, if the agreement is void, or not followed through on rather,

well, you would be bound to the contract.

Okay, I'm going to need a more layman's terms.

We don't like to get too deep into it because we just like this piece of paper.

No, you're not going to get sucked into the paper.

I guarantee you're not going to get sucked into the paper.

Will I be chained to you to do your bidding for the rest of forever?

Sexual things and otherwise.

Oh, no, my dear, we would not need to go that far.

That's that takes a turn and this is not good.

Why do you plan on like totally fulfilling this?

Because when Sullivan's light says he's going to do something, he does something.

We need not worry about that.

Well, no, I think we kind of do.

Do you want to get to save your friend?

Ah, fuck.

I take the dagger.

I cut my finger and I do a little smudgy.

Beautiful.

She's flicks it and it rolls up and says, all right.

Ariel at this moment.

It'll be fine.

Sully, you say you've got it covered.

So much so that you put your name down as the sole one responsible.

It's very noble, very honorable of you to do such a thing.

Which is so strange.

Which is, from what I hear, so strange.

You hear up at the front the braying of Rolf and Mute and Glim kind of

starting to move things in.

Not a word to them, please.

Of course.

There's a deal.

You've signed the paperwork.

All is good.

It'll be back here in a few, two weeks probably.

Two to three weeks.

Oh, it's probably because you didn't let her hand out those pamphlets.

I mean, good God.

You know, you hang out with really nice people.

That goodness starts to seep right into you.

It really does.

Yeah.

That's why I stopped hanging out with really good people.

Anyways, she opens the curtains and says, right through this way.

Oh, what a fine steed this is.

Oh, Rolf likes that.

Yes.

It's wonderful.

Please no droppings.

It ruins.

And she points down and ruins the circle.

There's a chalk outline in the middle of the room.

It says, yes, just come in, bring your carts in.

And is everybody ready?

Sully's taking care of all the arrangements.

He knows what to get, when to get it, where to get it.

I hold up a piece of paper so that they don't worry about me actually remembering these things.

Turn audible sigh, that comes from.

I provided a pack slip for it.

Don't worry.

So if we're all ready.

Yes, I think time is of the essence.

Yeah, it sounds like we're on a clock here.

She opens a large book and it thuds and dust kind of kicks up from the table that

she puts it down on and starts to speak from the book and moves her hands around very precisely.

The candles begin to dim as a wave of energy begins to build up and swirl

in the middle of this room, the dirt that's on the ground.

I yell as this is happening.

If you could drop us near the temple of Agma.

You can't tell if she's heard you or not.

Um, almost like a tornado vortex begins to swirl around you.

You begin to lose sight of the room.

The candles from what you can see are snuffed out either by the wind or just by the fact

that you can't see them and there's a snap and this wind begins to die down

and you're in the middle of a forest just before like just at dusk,

about the same time as it was previously.

You hear the sound of a city off in front of you.

There's a path that goes down and it opens onto this sprawling valley down below.

You begin to walk forward a little bit and you see a sign that says, Hi Moon, this way.

Well, she's accurate.

You got to give that.

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Merle's gonna die.

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Merv's gonna too.

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