Ad breaks are marked in the transcript below. The audio player uses the ad-supported feed.
previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Hey, how attached are you to the fact of Perseus being a rat?
I don't think his being a rat is of particular importance.
Great, enough said.
Margaret, I'm going on an adventure to find my creator.
And if you're not busy, it would be great if you could come.
Well, I could go for a little walkabout.
I did it!
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you had company.
Um.
Lex, it's me, Perseus.
Perseus?
Yeah, it's me!
We live in a world of magic and fantasy.
We can do whatever we wish.
You look over and you see a familiar face, and you're reminded of a kobold
whose name is Marvin Dundalfoot.
Hey, hey, I could get you a sweet deal.
Just look at this watch here.
And as you kind of focus on him, he has a feeling that somebody's watching him.
He looks over and he sees you, and then you see a look of panic in his eyes.
I will, I'll say that later.
And he bolts down the street.
We've got to follow that kobold.
Yeah, follow.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We're a D&D 5th Edition Actual Play Podcast, and I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
And with me today is Tom Laird.
That's me, and I play Perseus the Rat kind of halfling guy.
Also with me, Carla Maxted.
That's me, and I play Lex the Frankenstein-y cool monster dude guy.
And joining us again today, we can't get rid of him because we love him so much,
it's Rev from the Crit Show.
Hi, I play Margaret Broadcloak, and I'm still sleeping on Russ's couch.
I made you stay for another two weeks after that last one in order to make sure we got
this one just right on time.
He's like, sorry, we only record this specific story every other week, so just hang out.
That's how it works.
Yeah, but we got that closet super organized.
Thank you for that.
Where you can organize people's closets if you really want to is over on Patreon.
We'll post a link and you can organize a closet.
Why not?
Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragoncast.
But when you are a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you like today's patron,
Ty Zuniga.
Hey, thanks, Ty.
Thank you, Ty.
You can find out more at Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragoncast.
And now, fuck it, let's play DND.
We pick up with our friends, Lex, Margaret, Perseus, and Arvid, taking chase down the
streets of the town of Glickfast, which is at the base of the Baldrick Mountains,
pushing their way through the crowd.
And now we're going to enter what we call a chase.
We've never done this specifically before, and I'm very excited about it, everybody.
Look at Russ with his game mechanics.
I know.
It's very exciting.
I feel like Tom and I are both like, oh, no.
No, they actually have chase mechanics in the Dungeon Master's Guide.
Who knew?
Fun.
That sounds like an NPC's name.
Chase mechanics.
Chase mechanics.
It's going to be now.
Please write that down, Russ.
Amazing.
Chase mechanics.
Got it.
I feel like he didn't actually write that down.
He just set it in the tone like when you're blowing someone off on the phone
and you're like, yeah, 7 p.m. and then.
They're on to me.
They're on to me.
OK, so we'll run down kind of because we've never done this before.
We'll run down a little bit of how this is going to work.
So a chase requires a quarry and at least one pursuer.
So we have a quarry, which is the Kobold Marvum Dundalfoot.
And four pursuers in this case.
Any participants not already in initiative order must roll initiative.
So we're going to get everybody to roll that sweet initiative.
Oh, my God.
A six.
Seventeen.
You're much more.
You guys are much more.
This seven year old woman is much more fleet of foot than my big lumbering body, I guess.
It's all right.
Arvid got worse.
And I guess the halfling was a former rat, so he's pretty good.
And you're just a little scurrier.
You're so quick.
I don't know what you're going to do when you get to the Kobold.
Way ahead of the rest of us, but let's see.
Very problematic.
Marvum was across like a crowded area.
By the time Lex set off and we picked up, he's probably 80 feet ahead of Lex.
And then Lex took off.
Who took off first behind Lex?
I did.
Margaret will say you're about five feet behind.
Perseus and Arvid will say are pretty close to each other.
Running the chase.
Participants in the chase are strongly motivated to use the dash action every round,
which you use your action, which you would normally take to attack or cast a magic spell
to move double your speed during the chase.
And then pursuers who stop to cast spells and make attacks run the risk of losing their quarry.
So you can run 30 feet, but if you cast a spell, they may bolt ahead on their next turn,
which means you can't exactly catch them.
During the chase, a participant can freely use the dash action a number of times equal to
three plus your constitution modifier.
Each additional dash action it takes during the chase requires the creature to succeed
a DC 10 constitution check at the end of its turn or gain one level of exhaustion.
The participant drops out if they reach level five.
Since its speed becomes zero, you can also die.
Don't do that.
A creature can remove levels of exhaustion it gained during the chase by finishing a
short or long rest, which we're not going to really worry about right now.
So you have free reign of dash until you use up your number?
Yeah.
And then you have to roll for it?
So if you have four, once you hit four, you're donezo.
Spells and attacks.
A chase participant can make an attack or cast a spell against other creatures within range.
Apply the normal rules for cover terrain and all that stuff.
Chase participants can't normally make opportunity attacks against each other since
they all are assumed to be moving in the same direction.
So if you catch up to them and they move out of range, just based on how initiative works,
you can't then swipe at them the same way opportunity attacks would work.
Ending a chase if one side stops.
That ends the chase.
If neither side gives up, the quarry makes a stealth check at the end of each round
after every participant in the chase has taken its turn.
The result is compared to the passive wisdom perception.
So if they make a stealth check and nobody sees them disappear, you lose them.
So that said, can I get everybody's passive perception, please?
24.
Wow.
Good fucking luck, Marvam.
Nine.
Oh wow.
22.
He's just got those little baby eyes.
22, 24.
So we're never going to lose and Arvind is 13.
At the end of each person's turn, I'm going to get you to roll a d20,
which is going to cause a complication for the next person.
We shall begin.
The four of you take off down the street following Marvam.
He's pushing out of the way.
He says, move, move, get out of the way, get out of the way.
And he dashes ahead.
So he moves 60 feet, just bolting through the streets, dodging and weaving as he goes.
At the end of his turn, he's going to roll a d20, which is going to be a 14.
No complication occurs.
Perseus, what do you do?
So you are currently 90 feet behind him.
I dash.
I dash the living hell out of it, Russ.
All right.
And you are halfling, so you move 50.
Let's get, yep, 50.
Okay, and roll a d20 for me, please.
Okay, it's an 11.
Perseus, you charge ahead.
Margaret, it's your turn.
Yeah, I will dash as well, start running through the crowd,
trying to chase after Marvam.
Okay, so you dash ahead 60.
So you are within 25 feet at your new current position.
Roll a d20 for me, please.
One.
Okay.
That's never a sound you want your DM to make.
Lex, so you head off.
Margaret and Perseus kind of bolt ahead and are running past you.
What do you do?
I also dash.
Okay, you begin to take off, running full tilt.
You see Marvam.
You're catching up to him.
Make a dexterity check, please.
That is a 20.
As you're running, this huge horse cart jumps out in front of you across street.
You do get over it.
How do you get over it?
Maybe I slide under it.
Maybe I like grab the thing and slide between the wheels,
like be first and then like get up and keep running.
Real fast and furious stuff.
That's exactly.
Yeah, you as without losing a beat, you slide under and you
are now within 20 feet of Marvam.
I roll a d20, please.
Two.
Okay, it's Arvid's turn.
Arvid is following as quickly as he can, his robes flowing behind him.
As he's trying to keep pace with you, you slide underneath this trolley, this horse cart.
He tries to go around it and there's this huge crowd that is just moving in behind it.
He gets blocked and he's slowed by 10 feet.
I was really hoping there'd be like a farmer stand with a bunch of oranges.
Oranges everywhere as he crashes into it.
Are moving panes of glass somehow?
Sure, yeah.
Good option as well.
He has rolled an 18, so there is no complication for Marvam.
Marvam looks behind and sees everybody gaining on him.
He takes a quick turn, shoots down a side street and is running as fast as he can.
He is also dashing.
Okay, and how far away from him am I now?
So you're 100 feet.
So yeah, this little halfling legs is not a great thing for me.
Okay, yeah, I guess I'll dash again and try to get to that corner that he turned down.
You absolutely make up.
He's about 50 feet ahead of you now.
You're losing ground on him at this point.
Roll the d20, please.
10.
Okay, Margaret, you are currently 85 feet behind, so he's taking a sharp turn.
Make a dexterity saving throw.
16.
As you come around this corner, falling behind Perseus and Marvam,
these vendors are right around the corner and you narrowly miss running right into them.
One of them, you know, you kind of clip his arm as you're running by
and he yells out to you and says, watch where you're going there.
And I actually have one of his apples from his carton.
I throw a coin over my shoulder as I go.
Awesome.
And roll a d20, please.
Two.
Sweet rolls.
You guys are killing it.
Lex.
I'm going to dash again.
You're around the corner.
There's the guy yelling who Margaret just kind of clipped.
A coin is flying through the air.
You're catching up and passing Perseus who looks like he's maybe running out of breath.
And the further down you go, like the crowd begins to get, it's just filling up the street.
So make either an athletics or an acrobatics check as you're trying to move your way through this crowd.
Well, let's say athletics.
So that's a 23.
Okay.
I do a handstand over the crowd.
Well, I mean, yeah, basically how athletics works because of strengths
is you're just shoving people out of the way.
I'm like a big linebacker, right?
I'm just like barreling my way through this crowd.
It's that scene where we just see like from the crowd's point of view
and just people flying into the air, but we don't see you.
So you're making way for Arvid who is trailing a little bit behind.
Now roll a d20, please.
Nine.
Arvid finally pushes his way through the crowd that he was working through.
When a guard sees him running and yells out to try and stop him.
Hey, you stop there.
Seems like somebody he has mistaken him for somebody else.
I'll let you folks decide if he continues to move,
he may be attacked by the guard or we could have him stop and deal with the guard,
which would take him probably out.
I don't know.
What do you think Arvid would do?
I don't I feel like he makes some fucking awkward small talk with a guard, to be honest.
Yeah, like and they would just let him go.
Okay, Arvid taken back stops in front of this guard who is holding a spear in his hand.
You look behind you, Lex, you see him stopped talking to the guard.
Nothing has happened for Marvam who dashes again
and he is going to roll for Perseus, which is a five.
So Perseus, you're trailing ever so farther behind.
Make a dexterity saving throw and tell me what you do.
Okay, it's a 19.
Okay, are you dashing?
Are you trying to do something?
What are you what are you doing?
How close is Lex to me?
Lex is 30 feet ahead of you.
I really wish it was 20 feet.
I have it written down here.
I have to follow it.
It's a chase.
No, fair enough.
All right.
Well, that changes what I'm going to do then.
Hang on.
Will I figure something else out?
No, because you're falling behind.
Nobody's in 20 within 20 feet of you at this moment.
But I mean, I kind of had the first step.
So I mean, you can move 30 feet and then do something still.
Well, I can only move 25 feet.
That would put you within range of Margaret.
Okay, I'll do it.
I'll I'll move up to Margaret and I will cast Spider Climb on Margaret.
Yes, Betty White.
So until the spell ends, one willing creature you touch gains the ability to move up down
and across vertical surfaces and upside down along ceilings while leaving its hands free.
Also gains a climbing speed equal to its walking speed.
So if there's anything that Margaret then needs to get over top of,
I feel like she can do it pretty easily.
I think so.
All right.
So you've moved 25 feet, which places you 75 feet now behind Marvam.
I forgot to roll the stealth stuff.
So we'll do that at the end of the next one.
But Margaret, you now have Spider Climb.
So roll a d20 there, Perseus.
Go get him, Margaret.
And that's a 12.
Nothing impedes you this round.
What do you do with your newfound spider abilities?
So is the fleeing cobalt like in a straight line in front of us right now?
Yeah, it's a relatively packed crowd.
But yeah, you can see his head kind of bobbing up and down
as he's kind of peeking behind him as he's running down the street.
Okay.
So yeah, I'm going to dash again.
And I think because we aren't making, like we're not catching up.
All we're doing is kind of keeping the same distance.
So far you're even keel, yeah.
So I think that having been given this gift by Perseus,
I'm actually going to action surge and move again
so that I can run past him and get in front of him.
Okay, so that puts you 15 feet ahead of him if you take the full movement.
Yeah, I'll take the full movement that way.
Next time if he gets past, I might be able to catch up to him again.
But I'm going to try to like stop and block him now.
Okay.
So you are trying to block for his next movement.
He's going to have disadvantage on that stealth check
because you're right in front of him.
And if you could roll me a d20 for Lex.
Eight.
Lex, as you're running down, you see Margaret take this huge jolt
and get out in front of Marvam.
And out in front of you, a hunched over old man comes out and steps in your way.
Then he's reaching his hand out for a coin.
Could you just spare just a little bit?
So you have to make either an athletics, an acrobatics,
or an intimidation check to slip past this beggar.
Okay, well, it's going to be acrobatics
because I don't want to just push over this old man.
Get out of here, jerk.
18 for acrobatics.
So I can like twist around him, hopefully.
Yeah, absolutely.
You twist around him.
And as you do so, he kind of double takes and looks and says,
well, fuck you too.
Roll a d20, please.
Oh, sorry.
You're dashing.
Yeah.
Yeah, I did.
20.
Okay.
Nothing happens for...
Marvam's out.
Nothing happens for Marvam.
So we're going to try and at disadvantage,
he's going to try and stealth away.
He does not.
So he now sees you in front of him.
He is going to try and...
He's going to try and...
She's going to take these 30 feet of movement,
but he's going to try and shove you as he moves by.
So he'll move 15, shove, and then try and go.
So this is going to be straight strength against your ac,
which is not going to be good.
So that's a nine.
So he runs into you.
How do you stop him?
I think I have my shield out.
Margaret is a mark of the sentinel.
And so she just puts the shield out and plants it down.
So he runs directly into it.
Kind of like he's barreled down his shoulder
like he was trying to plow into you
and just glances up and off and falls to the ground,
just off to the side as everybody else catches up.
And the chase is over.
Oh, God.
Didn't mean to interrupt you.
I think we've got a couple of questions for you.
Oh, who do you think you are stopping people like me?
Oh, nice to meet you.
My name is Margaret Broadcloak.
I've got some friends here who seem to recognize you.
And boy, it sure seems like you recognized him as well.
I don't know what you're talking about.
And then as he turns and sees Lex come up,
oh, yeah, that's your friend?
That's correct.
That's your friend.
Okay, I'm just going to just stand right here.
I'll just stand right here just beside this.
Hey, so Lex now.
Yes, Lex is my name now.
Pleasure to meet you, Lex Marvam.
Marvam, that's me.
That's what my friends call me.
I don't think we're meeting for the first time.
You know me.
I mean, I've seen you around, you know, it's just.
Maybe about two years ago.
Maybe about two years ago.
Would you say you saw me like this or sort of more separate?
Well, I mean, you know, who's to say really what?
I mean, a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B.
I might have been around when they kind of put you together.
And then, you know, I mean, you know, bring pieces and stuff.
Anyways, long story short, how you been?
What you been up to?
It's good to see you.
I don't know that you mean that, but I've been well.
I have these friends now.
Yeah, I've come very spry to meet my creator.
Oh, cool.
What can you tell me?
What about my creator?
You know, what do you?
What is a creator?
What are you trying to do here?
You're trying to like, like intimidate.
I just want him to like, tell me some stuff about the dude.
Yeah, you roll.
You roll me a skill and then we'll that'll dictate how he responds.
I think intimidation.
No, well, not great.
Eleven.
I'm just so winded.
It's really, I just.
Hey, hey, look, once you get yourself
collected here, maybe we can have a few drinks.
I'm just going to go.
I'm just going to check on some things back at the old homestead.
No, you are definitely not leaving here without giving me some information
and maybe just guiding my friends and I to where my creator is.
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
I get it.
Mountains up there.
He's starting to take a few steps back there.
Margaret and Perseus as Arvid kind of finally makes it up and says,
oh, that that guard was just delightful.
Confused me for some other person.
Well, you do have that look.
Don't you just have one of those faces looks so familiar.
Thank you for saying so.
Perseus pulls out his dagger and kind of starts to point it at Marvam.
Oh, hey, yeah, wait a second here, buds.
We don't need to pull out any weapons.
You just look like you might have been going somewhere
and I don't think you should be going somewhere right now.
Roll an intimidation there, Perseus.
Oh, I would love to.
Oh, well, it's going to be good.
Uh, what's the bonus?
Oh, fuck, it's a 23.
Look, I wasn't a scared of the big guy because I knew where to pull the stitches
to just make his arms go all flippy dippy.
But you you look like you've been in some battles there, friend.
And he walks over to you and kind of just like pushes your knife just to the side here
and says, look, you know, we can get to know each other.
We can be friends.
We don't have to fight.
And I hold my other free hand close up to his face
and it's like dancing electricity is on my fingers.
Oh, that's cool.
We cut to a tavern later.
It says, so you want to meet your you want to meet your creator.
Yes, I want to know why I was made.
Why you were you were made as an experiment.
But for no purpose, just to see if he could do it.
Is he evil?
He's evil, right?
No, he's got to be evil.
I mean, he sounds a little evil.
No, don't don't don't look not.
He's not evil.
He he was trying out some things
because he was getting in good with with this guy who, you know,
I told him he was kind of evil.
He's like he was trying to just, you know,
make a push forward in this in this new organization,
trying to make a way for himself, putting pieces together,
as you know, seeing if he could bring them back.
That's how you came about.
You were kind of his golden child.
More of a mottled gray child, I think.
But I see your point.
What what organization?
The strict name of it was never exactly divulged
to your good buddy Marvam over here.
He he just told me to go out and collect parts.
So that's what I did.
I went out and I dug some things up and found some things
and I stole some things and, you know, slice and dice.
And then you got pieces to put together a jigsaw.
I mean, this is a very blase attitude from you, Marvam.
But I see that you perhaps are just
you weren't the the brains of the operation, right?
You were just just a worker bee.
Yeah, yeah, a worker bee, right?
And he nudges Perseus.
He's like, you get it.
I don't really know what a bee is.
How about you?
Lady with the shield, you're very fast.
You strike me as the type of person who
doesn't really work for for loyalty or for fame,
but for coin.
What if I was just to offer you a number of coins
to walk us back to the place
you delivered the things you collected?
Oh, well, now we're speaking my language here.
You see, I had a feeling we might be.
What kind of coins are we talking here?
These like these like high value,
highfalutin, high weighted coins.
I mean, that looks like a good looking shield
you got there probably cost a pretty penny.
It's true.
I make the rounds around various cities,
helping them out and collecting a little money
here and there.
I'm sure you can be more than aptly compensated.
Interesting, interesting.
All right.
Well, I mean, if the if the price is right,
maybe we can just visit there.
I mean, you know, who am I to stand
in front of a family reunion?
Exactly.
You're just helping bring a family back together.
Who could fault you for that?
You know what?
That's what they say on my business cards
is bring in family together.
Marvam Dundalfoot, Marvam Dundalfoot,
bring in families together.
Let's point the slogan.
You know, it's really catching fire here.
Marvam, do you know we've been dancing around it,
but what is the name of my creator?
He don't even remember the name of the guy
who created you.
How did you make it back this far?
Well, when I left, I recognized the things
that, you know, I woke up,
there was no one there.
I escaped.
I have vague kind of flashes,
but it's not like we sat down
and had a conversation and then I left.
You, well, I mean, you had many conversations.
You don't remember any of those?
It's not like he created you and you were gone.
Like you were around for a while
as he trained you and gave you your gifts,
as he says.
Well, I don't really remember that.
I mean, if I saw him,
maybe I would probably recognize him.
Or when I see the place,
I knew that I would recognize it,
but I don't remember spending quality time
with my creator.
All right.
It's his name is Nick O'Real Katie.
It's been a while since I've been up
to his establishment.
Haven't heard much of him.
You know, he doesn't have any runners
coming down lately.
So if you go up,
I'm not sure what you're walking into here.
You haven't been bringing him more?
He cut me a while ago, you know,
before you left.
Well, maybe he's had a change of heart.
Maybe, maybe.
All right.
Well, he looks around to the table.
He said, do we settle up now
or do we settle up then?
I assume that's then.
OK.
OK.
Does that count as a short rest mechanically?
I don't know how long a short rest is.
It depends what you all want to do.
Do you want to like spend the night
and then go up in the morning?
You kind of will call it like,
you know, mid afternoon
when you were starting
this chase interrogation thing.
We could spend the night,
go fresh in the morning.
I guess we have to keep him with us, though.
Yeah.
He's a real shady character.
Yeah.
Maybe we should go now
while we've got him in hand.
Yeah.
I don't want to pay for him
to stay at an inn with us.
That's true.
And nobody wants to share a room with him.
No.
No.
Yeah, we could definitely call it
a short rest.
You set out same day
being led by
Marvam.
And you head up into the Baldrick Mountains.
They are cascading,
tall mountains
that stretch the expanse of Fay,
which is the country you are in.
You are led deep within these mountains
following a winding path.
There aren't many,
any people that you see coming or going.
Yeah, it's just up around the bend here
to the mouth of the cave.
You've been traveling for
let's say four or five hours at this point.
You continue to travel
for another 30 minutes or so.
You round a bend
and you come to the mouth
of this wide open cave.
You've traveled up and into
to one of the mountains
nearest to the city.
Says, you go in there,
kind of go to the back.
He's got a door.
I don't know if the knock still works.
It's like a rick-a-dick-a-dick-a-dick-dick, you know?
Well, maybe you should come and show us.
Ah, okay.
Yeah, sure.
Okay.
Got it.
You all proceed into the mouth of the cave.
And everybody has dark vision, I presume?
Sure.
Or you're a human, aren't you, Margaret?
I am.
My mace gives off light.
Okay, perfect.
Margaret thinks of everything.
As it gets to be too beginning to get
like dim and like, you know,
where you're straining to see, Margaret,
you pull out your mace and illuminate the area.
The light spins out and everybody you see
bones kind of pushed up and off to the side.
Like they've been almost like swept off to the side
of various creatures and humans
and different humanoids.
They're in a bundled mess,
not like somebody sat down and just died there
and then that's where their skeletons are,
but just in a bundled mess.
And the further back you go,
like Marvam said, you reach a door.
It's almost like this cave was carved into this mountain
and then it reaches a flat face
and then there's a stone door with a handle.
He says,
uh, just knock.
You want me to knock?
Yes.
You said you know the knock.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, I mean, you're the adventuring types.
All right.
He knocks.
He stands there kind of scuffing his feet,
looking around at everybody.
So, any good stories anybody wants to tell while we wait here?
Was it usually a long wait when you knocked?
Ah, not usually this long.
Looks like maybe some people,
some runners have expired in these here caves.
Not usually such a clutter of bones.
I mean, as new as bones can be.
I mean, they weren't here when you were coming regularly?
Not previously.
Like I said, you know,
around the time that you went poof a couple years ago,
give or take, that's the last time I was here.
So he's just maybe doing a new decoration thing.
You know, I'm just going to try the door.
I'm just going to see what happens.
And he reaches for the door and tries to pull on it
and it doesn't open.
So, all this way just to come to a locked door.
Ha, what a story to tell your kids later.
Can you have kids?
I don't even know if that's possible.
I'd like to reach into my, like,
adventuring sack that I imagine I have with me.
Okay.
And I pull out a hollow metal tube
that measures about one foot long.
And without knowing really what I'm doing,
just just like this otherworldly power
is kind of guiding my hand.
I strike it and point it at the door
and a tone issues out from it.
And if the door is locked, it should now be unlocked.
Is it knock?
Is that what you guessed?
I use my wondrous item, Chime of Opening.
Ooh, fancy.
Perfect, yeah.
It rings out and you hear from the door
just like this movement of stone.
And then it kind of cracks open
and there's a, it doesn't have hinges so to speak,
but it kind of slides open and like scrapes along the floor
and is like, wow, I got it gets me one of those.
Where'd you get it there, friend?
I'm not really sure.
Arvid, did you, did you cook this up for me?
Yes, yes I did.
Well, it's pretty handy.
You're so thoughtful, Arvid.
That's why I gave it to him, really.
Because I knew we'd need to open the door at some point.
You're so smart.
As if by some knowledge that, thank you, thank you.
Incredible foresight to know
that somehow we'd need to open a door.
I mean, I've been on a few adventures
and there's usually a door in the way.
Okay, okay.
Lovebirds, I see, they're just gonna pull the door open.
After you.
He pulls the door and it grinds open
and it's into a dark hallway that extends down before you.
You don't see any person or any creatures in your way.
Okay, what do you do?
Can I, I'm gonna do a perception check to see.
I mean, we got the door open now,
but just to make sure there's not, you know,
a big old trap immediately.
Uh, 14?
It appears to be entirely safe.
Well, we've come all this way.
I'm going in.
Yes, yes, after you.
All right, friends first, here we go.
He's kind of waving everybody by.
I mean, we understand you're just gonna leave now.
You don't need to.
I still need my payment.
We said I'd be paid then.
So I mean, I gotta wait around.
Maybe I'll just keep the door open.
Yes, that's fair.
You can count half your coins while you wait.
Perfect.
Thank you.
And I'll hand him a little, a little pouch.
Oh, would you look at these here?
Yeah, key onesies, twosies.
And as you walk down the hall,
you hear him counting them out.
I'll just wait here for you.
No worries.
Hey now, we're in the middle.
We're talking all about the things.
Oh, it started so strong.
It didn't start off really good.
It started so strong.
Hey now, we're in the middle.
We're talking about the things.
I feel like the lyrics were what were good the first time.
Yeah, it's the lyrics that were not the problem.
Yeah, the tune was great.
I know.
Hey now, it's the middle.
Come and join us.
Hang in.
Okay, you're better at things than I am.
Amy can rap and just like put random lyrics into any song.
You know what?
It's not a skill that comes in handy as much as you think it would.
Wow, see, I thought you'd be like making mad coin off that.
I know.
It's just kind of sitting unused except for every once in a while here in the middle.
And we're in it.
What are we talking about today?
Stuff.
Probably Patreon.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast is a place where you can go listen to a really cool.
Amy's dying.
That's what you lose your shit at.
It's because in my head he said Patreon.com slash dumb dragon teats.
It sounded like dunk dragons.
Which doesn't make sense for this because they're not going to overheard it yet.
So dumb dragon teats means nothing.
When you hear the episode that we just recorded, it's a side scroller episode.
You'll be able to piece this energy that we've got going on to the exact recording.
Yeah, if you've been on the fence, if you've been on the fence about joining Patreon,
I gotta say Russ really brought a pretty unique energy to the game we just recorded.
And I'd really love it if you could listen to it because if you're a Patreon,
then you can listen to all these extra games that we play.
And some of them are pretty weird.
You're going to see a different side of Russ.
If you like DM side, you're going to see character side and go,
the hell is going on here?
What happens when Tom yes ends everything Russ says in an episode?
I didn't have a lot of prep, so there was a lot of yes ending.
It's true.
He showed us his notes.
Where we don't prep many things, Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
Long story short, we do have another podcast over there called The Adventures of.
It is DM'd by Tom Laird.
And he lets me go a little bit bonkers in that.
He just announced that we go hard on him, so I'm going to let him do whatever he wants,
which is great until we get to the point where we're at now
where I can't say because nobody's listening to it.
Even Carla and I can't really rein him in.
He's impossible.
It's a good thing he DMs all the time.
Tom tried there for a minute with some characters and it just
steamrolled over top of them too.
Just couldn't stand up to it.
Rules are there ain't no rules.
Exactly.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
We hope to see you over there.
Not only for that show, but we do some great hangouts.
We play some games.
We get to know you, our listeners and our patrons.
And we have a lot of fun over there.
So we hope to see you.
And now let's get back to the episode where Lex and Margaret and Arvid and
Perseus are doing some wild and crazy things.
Love you.
Bye.
Okay, bye.
Thank you, Margaret, for that.
Yes, of course.
This does all seem familiar.
I've been here.
This is, I mean, I knew when I saw Marvin, but this is the place.
Do you have any memory of coming through this corridor or?
I mean, yes, flashes, but was that me?
Was that the parts of me?
I do have memories of that.
It's hard to say.
Everything is such a blur and a jumble.
As you walk down the halls, there are a series of doors that are opened up.
And it looks like this place hasn't been well kept up for quite some time.
It's, you're not sure.
There's no, I think the dust is thick along the floor.
The dirt is thick along the floor.
There's no footsteps except for the ones that you're making.
Doorways along the hall that you're walking down and offshoots.
You see into a couple and it, the first one you look into is
more or less like a sitting, eating room.
Lex, you have flashes of a fire illuminated in the middle of this room,
where there are just long since burned out embers.
You're seated around with several people, not just one, not just Marvam,
not just your creator, Nick O'Real, but many people in this place.
This is all familiar.
I remember now we were in this room and there were several people,
some in a uniform, just some regular looking folks and Nick O'Real, I remember his face now.
Russ, do I remember like in this building, if I was here, like what I remember where,
I don't know, like where his room is or where the,
where's the TV room?
Like, where is he chilling?
Yeah.
Yeah, you do, the further in you go and the more flashes you get room by room,
you get a clearer image of Nick O'Real and you get a clearer sense of who he was to you
and what he was to you.
The further in you go, each room flashes, you have interactions with people
who work there or who did work there rather.
You get flashes of people who were similar to you in a way, pieces of people,
but none that exhibit the same interaction level that you had.
Like you were almost tasked to work with these new
people, for lack of a better term, to try and coax something out of them.
Like you see that as you walk through, you see kind of more medical-like facilities.
They're not medical because you're in a cave, but that seems to be what these rooms were like.
Everybody else, as Lex is describing these scenes to you, you see like broken down
tables and equipment, long since expired or dried up medicinal or magical items.
And Lex, your feeling of Nick O'Real is not one of hatred the further in you go.
The deeper you go, the more fatherly you remember him being.
You see his face, he's a taller man, a little heavier set, round face,
balding white hair that flows long down.
And you see his smile the longer you're here.
And it brings a certain warmth to your normally cold demeanor,
not your demeanor is cold, but normally cold body.
I remember him now not with anger or even confusion.
I remember him being kind to me.
Do you remember why you left?
I don't. I remember there were others like me and we were sort of working together.
And now that I'm here, I don't have these.
I thought I would get here and I would feel angry and I would feel vengeful.
But now I just have sort of warm memories of him and that's it.
I don't know, I can't trust my own memories because they're so sporadic,
but maybe he wasn't an evil man.
Although there is some inherent evil in what he did.
Well, perhaps if we dig a little further through here,
you might find something as to why maybe it was for,
you know, bad, what's the phrase, bad intentions towards a good end.
Perhaps.
As you're all walking through, I presume you're walking with,
you know, keeping aware of your surroundings and stuff, not just waltzing through.
Yeah, I think, yeah, I'm like pretty like looking at things and even kind of like
touching the walls, trying to like, as things are coming back to me.
Yeah.
And even detecting magic every now and then just to see if anything here still seems to be
potent at all.
Margaret, as you're detecting magic, you know, very early on,
everything's like there's nothing there.
Like it's just a cold, empty room, cold empty rooms in the side of a mountain.
The deeper in you all go into this mountainside,
Lex, you start to get a feeling that you are nearing Nick O'Real's office or quarters
or a common gathering place.
And Margaret, you get a sense of as you enter this last room, all of you
at the end of this long winding hallway through this facility,
you sense kind of in this room that's coming up, it's dark, dimly, well, dimly lit based on your
light, you can't quite make out everything that's in there, you see shadows, but you
also get a sense of kind of an illusory magic that's emanating from this room, not in a huge
strong wave, but in just kind of it's lingering throughout this room that's coming up,
but not anywhere else.
I'm reading something from this room coming up, just be careful when you go in.
I will. This was his study where he did all of his
thinking, his writing, I don't know, I remember him being in this room a lot.
And I'll open the door.
Lex, you walk through the door. Margaret, as Lex walks through the door,
there's this wave of illusory magic that just kind of spreads out and into the room and
everybody sees the wave kind of as it rolls through the room, it cleans it up. So it's
like the room was the same as every other room you passed, chairs and everything turned
over, covered in dirt and dust. But then as the illusion rolls over, it's like this
room is back together. And you see a man, an older man, seated in a large armchair by a
wood-burning fireplace. Seated in the chair beside him is Lex.
You see a scene play out in front of you. It's the two of you, Lex and Nikaril,
talking back and forth. You can't quite make out what they're saying. It's low,
drawn-out conversation. Everything is very above board, very warm, very encouraging.
Lex, you have memories that wash back of this conversation. And the gist of what Nikaril is
imparting with you is that you are special and meant to do good in this world. And he
tried to build you and build others like you in order to get in with a new
power, a new employer, he says, time and time again. He doesn't tell you who that is,
but he tells you he can't do it anymore. What he was hoping to do was to give you the
powers that you have, but not have them corrupt your new body.
As you interpret that, he doesn't want you to fall apart as you are able to cast these healing
spells. Some time passes in this conversation and there's a loud bang that is heard from
the direction of the hallway. Margaret, if you're still detecting magic, you can tell
that it's still part of whatever this illusion is. It's like it's captured a scene, a moment
in time. You hear echoing screams coming from down the hallway, footsteps running,
and Nikaril's face goes stark. He has a sense of like a quick urgency of panic.
Like the blood rushes from his face and he stands up and he pulls Lex and says,
you need to leave now. And he rushes out and down the hall and you see in rooms,
undead warriors, soldiers striking down others in this facility and he pushes past you.
You get into a fight as he ushers you down this hallway.
The scene leaves you, he sends you off, and he runs back to his chamber, closes and locks
the door behind him. He begins writing a note on a table. The door bursts open behind him
and in rush, six undead warriors. Swords and spears drawn, and in behind them, almost floats
a dark elf with long white hair. He doesn't say anything, but the look on Nikaril's face
with long white hair.
He doesn't say anything, but the look on Nikaril's face
is resolute. He knows what's about to happen. And as the warriors rush towards him,
a small smile, a smirk comes across this dark elf's face and the scene immediately cuts.
And you're back in this dust covered, tossed and turned room.
So I was wrong. I wasn't here for vengeance or maybe I do need vengeance,
but not against my creator, against those people that killed him.
And yes, it seemed like he created you to make things a little better in a situation
where he saw things going very badly.
Can we look and see if that note he was writing is
there? Yeah, everybody can make an investigation check.
I love investigating. 19.
9. I'm too distraught. 16.
Perseus. Everybody begins looking through. Lex, you immediately go to the desk.
You don't find anything inside the drawers and strewn about, broken pens and torn up paper,
but nothing that was explicitly written on or you recognize from that scene.
Perseus, you begin searching through some piles off to the side,
some of which have been burnt up and you find a scrap of paper. It's been torn. It's been singed.
But the two line is too Lee.
Too Lee. And then it issues a list of people.
And at the top of that list, partially torn, says Thelonious Prims.
Well, my friends, I feel like my work here is now I think only just beginning.
I need to find this Thelonious Prims and get justice.
Well, I'm in. I don't know about about you others.
Oh, I'm happy to help.
Yes, this person seems to command just the type of thing I am,
well, still kicking around to deal with.
Well, Lex or Lee or Granger or whatever your name might be tomorrow.
Where to next?
I think we need to leave this place
and go back to that town and get some more information.
Music and sound effects from today's episode can be found at EpidemicSound.com. A huge thank
you to our supporting producers, Christian Brown, Creighton's Raven, Devin Michaels,
Gabriel Lynch, Jacob Madden, Joshua Dixon, Cat Waterflame, Katarina Sindelar and Stevie.
To find out more about how you can support Dumbgeons and Dragons,
please visit Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, where for as little as two dollars a
month you can gain access to our exclusive podcast, The Adventures of, DMed by our very
own Tom Laird, monthly hangouts, supporting producer meetings, merchandise, as well as
being able to play around the virtual table with us. Hope to see you over there. Patreon.com
slash dumb dragon cast. What you want, if you want to hear what we said about ACDC,
go pay us over on Patreon. That means you too, Angus Young.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.