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previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
What does Thea do when she gets to Silvery Moon?
She's there to see her parents because we did not leave on the best of terms.
I scale up the side of the house and I go into my childhood bedroom.
Hello.
Oh, Thea.
Hi, Mom.
I left because you and Pop are difficult to deal with.
We shipped you off because we just didn't have the understanding to deal with it and I'm sorry.
Nulara.
All your brothers, their spouses and a bunch of kids have all come running out to greet you.
How are you guys? How are things here?
We've been safe and we've been trying to be as safe as possible.
You see Rulon kind of slam down the drink he's having.
Won't let me go and join the rebels and do our part?
Okay, I'm going to follow him.
And what happens if the people who are trying to stop these dragons and wizards don't stop them?
If the bad guys win, you're going to be awfully happy to have had every moment
of peace and happiness that you could cram in before, you know, the end of the world.
You climb into bed and as you begin to drift off.
Well, this is a new place.
Flint, make my way back to my folks place.
It opens up and you see your sister, Helge.
Hey, sis.
Flint, there's no easy way to tell you this.
Dad passed away a couple weeks ago.
Oh.
Helge, what are you making?
And she looks up and sees you and immediately starts crying.
I rush forward and give her a big old Firebeard style hug.
You're being safe then and you're surrounding yourself with good people.
Yeah, no, they're they're the best.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We're a D&D 5th edition actual play podcast and I'm your dungeon master,
Russ More, and with me today is Carla Johnson.
Hey, it's me.
I play Nularaaa Moonbrook.
And Tom Laird.
It's me and I play Flint Firebeard.
And Amy More.
I'm Amy More.
And I play Siamastasia.
And for those of you who aren't sure what that was.
Oh, no, everybody knows what that was.
What was it?
Yoshi.
Amazing.
I didn't know we were doing a theme, you guys.
Well, Tom went for it.
I was just like, what could I?
Yes, yes, I could.
Do I know how to make that sound?
We'll find out.
Doesn't matter.
See what happens.
All right, is there any Mario noise you wanted to make, Carla?
She's a Carla.
She's a gonna win.
All right.
Well, welcome, everybody.
How's everybody feeling after that last week?
Ah, feeling good.
I'm nervous.
I'm nervous for you.
It was so lovely.
I was having such a nice visit with my family and then
fucking Dagger McFuckface had to pop.
Write that down.
It's new name is Dagger McFuckface.
Yeah, no, I was all holy man confrontation.
I don't like this as a regular person, let alone in my fantasy world
where I get to pretend not to be a regular person.
But here I am having hard conversations with parents like I love to do.
I mean, you could have gone anywhere.
You chose to go home.
You've been calling it the home episode.
You could have lied to me and be like, yeah, no, I went to a different place.
And really, I'm just here to hook up with my high school boyfriend.
That is my next stop.
Amy's like, I want to go to home hardware.
I have some things I need to pick up.
Depot, HomeSense, there's a lot of home stores.
Sure.
Well, another place where we ask hard questions
and post even harder polls is over on Patreon, Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
Yeah, Russ is always discussing hard polls.
Asking questions where they fill out an A, B, C, D response.
You're all about the D, aren't you?
You guys are all about the D.
Don't know why anybody just suggested that my husband is all about the D.
All about the D.
This is where rumors start.
Like rumors, the Fleetwood Mac album.
Oh, my God.
Because that's a good album.
I was waiting in the post office the other day when I was waiting.
Fleetwood Mac was there.
No.
Now, whatever story I tell is going to be shit.
Yeah.
Because Fleetwood Mac wasn't there.
Way to go.
You feel you're proud of yourself.
Really good about myself.
Yeah.
They just had the rumors soundtrack, like the rumors album just playing.
So good.
All the wall.
It's so good.
I don't think rumors has left my car CD player since I purchased it.
It just lives there.
Do you have a single disc or like a six disc?
I got a six, but it's always one slot is rumors.
There you go.
Now, I just want to listen to the rumors album.
I know.
Me too.
Like, can we wrap ourselves up?
I have an album to go listen to.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, we'll hit play now.
With all the rumors on that Spotify playlist.
Yeah, just add the whole album.
It's wall to wall amazing.
I feel like we're missing a few songs.
So that'll just help fill it out.
Yeah.
Perfect.
It'll be good.
Speaking of Patreon and rumors,
rumor has it that we've got a dedicated an episode to a patron.
And that patron today.
Is Adele.
Thank you for letting us use a tiny pullout of yours.
Is Gabriel Lynch.
Hey, Gabriel.
Thank you.
You rock.
Fuck it.
Let's play D&D.
Let's do that.
OK.
Or let's talk about feelings.
So your call.
So you step back down the stairs, back at your home there, Thea.
And you get to the landing and.
No, I get halfway down the stairs and I ride the banister the rest of the way down.
All right.
Roll.
Make a dexterity check.
I don't have any dice out.
Nobody told me I'd be rolling.
Here we go.
Thought she was all about that rolling.
I love it too much.
What everyone likes to see.
Beautiful.
Look at that.
Beautiful.
Can anyone imagine what's going to happen to me down the stairs?
I don't know.
It's going to be a mystery.
Instead of walking down the stairs like a normal human being elf creature,
you decide to ride the banister like you did when you were a child.
But what you don't realize
is that they installed a newel post at the very base of it.
So you slide down and you hit that newel post
and go ass over tea kettle onto the floor at your father's feet,
who then looks down at you and says,
Good God, Thea.
Jesus Christ.
I don't know who Jesus Christ is.
Just the man down the street, you see.
That's Jesus Christ, Dad.
Get it right.
I can't pronounce these human names.
They're letting anybody into Silver Moon here.
What are you doing home?
I bounce up.
Rachel went aside.
I came to bury the hatchet with you and Mom.
And he sees your mom stepping down the stairs.
Elegantly like an elf should.
Yeah.
Oh, fine.
So elegant.
Like she went to finishing school.
Fancy hell.
She could be bouncing on her head the whole way down.
The way that my dad wished I could walk down the stairs.
Well, I'm sure your mother has yelled at you far enough,
so I will say that I'm glad to see you
so you don't have to get it from both of us.
Thanks, Pop.
I missed you too.
Yes.
Do we shake hands or maybe just a curt nod?
I hear the kids are fist bumping.
The whole daughter fist.
All right.
Shall we go maybe sit down?
I think we have a lot to talk about
and I don't have a whole lot of time.
Always running around.
Always flitting about.
All right.
To my study.
You remember where it is, don't you?
Can you get up off the floor?
I already got up off the floor, dad.
God, I stomp over to his study.
He leaves a huge sigh and then follows behind you
into the study.
New Laura.
Yes.
It's the middle of the night.
And you've been walking in your sleep.
No.
You've been walking in your sleep.
Yeah.
And you heard from your buddy.
Yeah, my buddy.
The dagger.
Dagger McFuckface himself.
Dagger McFuckface, I believe,
was how you referred to him as.
And you find yourself,
you're not quite sure how you got there,
but you find yourself in the middle of the forest.
Oh, okay.
And I have awoken,
like I have come to myself
and I'm in the middle of the forest.
Yes.
You don't recall getting out of bed
and walking into the forest,
but you have done so.
I don't like this at all.
The dagger says,
remember how I said that there was
a little rider in the claws
that said that every now and again
has to be some stabbing.
Yes.
Yeah.
So now's the time.
We have to seize the day.
Carpe diem, as they say.
We can go either this way,
back to these people,
these fine people we've been talking to for so long.
They seem like nice people.
Or we can go this way,
where you see kind of through the trees,
you see off in the distance
a single log cabin.
And that is like just some strangers?
Yeah.
I mean, it's one of my brother's homes.
It appears that you've,
judging from what you can tell
about your location,
you've been walking for quite a while
and you don't appear to be super close
to where you were with your brothers.
And it doesn't look like a cabin
that you are familiar with.
It's perhaps been built in recent years
since you've been gone.
I don't want to do this right now.
You can't wait a day?
No.
A day.
See?
You can't wait a day.
No.
I'm going to stab like a thousand creatures
in the next several weeks.
That's not going to be enough for you?
The gems on the dagger
begin to glow a bright red.
Well, can I...
God, it's been a long time
since the dagger tried to make me do anything.
I assume I can roll against it, right?
It doesn't just get to tell me what to do.
I mean, it's given you
very strict parameters of what happens
if you don't listen to it, right?
That I'll stab one of my friends?
That something will happen
that you probably won't be happy with.
Well, I'm not happy with this.
These are two terrible options.
Look.
Okay, let me put your mind at ease here.
The guy in the cabin, not a great guy.
The fact that he's living so close to your family,
it's probably not a good thing.
Tell me more.
If I'm getting my sources right,
which my sources are usually correct,
he's been on the run for quite some time,
wanted for killing some people,
cold blood, stealing.
He's not a good guy.
And if I don't do it,
something bad's gonna happen.
I don't know what's gonna happen.
I can't tell you.
I'm not a future reader.
Okay, I'm gonna go look in this guy's window,
see if I can see anything.
You know, sneaky-like.
You go up to the window.
You peer inside,
and inside there's a single cot with no one in it
and a fireplace that is lit illuminating the room
and a single chair,
which from where you're looking
has the back to the window.
But you can tell from the arm you see kind of overhanging
that there might be a man, possibly a little older,
who is at least sitting in the chair.
The way that his arm is kind of hanging there
could lead you to believe that he's fallen asleep.
This is the worst.
I mean, there's no way I'm gonna stab my family
or like be around my family
when I can be compelled to do something horrible.
Like, can I just leave?
No, because then something bad's gonna happen.
This is New Laura having this conversation like out loud.
I'll give you a moment.
It's fine.
Not too many moments, though.
Not too many moments, though.
I mean, that's the thing is that
when you tell me what to do, it's really fucking bad.
It's as bad as it can be.
It's thaddeus in the chest and it's...
Yeah, I apologize for that.
I did.
Do you though?
I feel like if he's gonna make me do it anyway,
I should just kill this guy that I don't know,
which is pretty fucking fucked up place to be at.
If I have to choose between killing somebody I love
and killing someone I don't know,
Randall's gonna get it every time.
Like, there's no way I'm gonna kill anyone in my family.
Okay.
I am going to pull out my cloak
so I'm like all covered
and I'm gonna pull out flametongue and say Mui Caliente.
I'm gonna kick open the door of the cabin,
real like dramatic-like.
Is the chair facing the door?
It is, it's to the side, yeah.
I guess if I think he's sleeping.
Let me just first like try the door very quietly
because, you know, dramatic entrances and all
but kind of wasted if he's sleeping.
The door is unlocked.
Well, it is a good neighborhood.
Except for me.
So I open the door and I see him.
Is he sleeping?
He appears to be sleeping.
Does he look guilty?
Tell me what guilty looks like.
I don't know.
He just looks like a dude.
Just looks like a dude
in a very sparsely furnished room.
Doesn't appear to be too many personal belongings there.
Okay, well, I'm still gonna do it dramatic style.
I think because I want to know that he is a bad person.
So I'm going to standing there.
I'm in front of him now.
Robe covered flaming sword.
I'm going to say more dramatically than I can right now.
Awake, your time has come.
Confess your sins.
As you get closer, you see that he looks to be an older man.
He kind of startles awake, opens his eyes
and immediately there's a look of panic and fear when he sees you.
Good.
He doesn't seem to be able to catch his breath or say anything.
He's just kind of trying to scramble back into this chair.
Who are you?
Your time has come.
Confess your sins before you go.
Confess my sins?
Okay.
Who sent you?
Who are you?
I pull out the dagger as well.
But I approach him with the flaming sword and say,
this is your last chance to confess before you go.
Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay, okay.
I, I, I, I did, I, I heard some people.
I heard them.
I heard, I heard them real bad, but I've been, I've been trying to,
I've been trying to, that's why I came here.
I stab him.
I stab him in the leg.
He screams out in pain and you feel a rush of energy.
Come up and swirl around the dagger from the wound.
You feel it absorb into your, your body.
And as the man yells out, you see him fall back in his chair
and you're watching him as the life is being drained out of him.
Watching him, you see a face, not his face, but another face,
a very fair skinned, porcelain looked face come and materialize over top of the man's.
And then fade away.
And as it fades away, the red glowing gems on the dagger fade away as well.
Now that wasn't so hard, was it?
You pull the dagger from his leg and the man is dead in the chair.
How's your sweet potato pie, bud?
Oh, it was fucking best thing ever.
You've had your sweet potato pie and you've been kind of just sitting around.
It's a late hours been quite the cribbage tournament that's been going on.
And you've been, you know, telling stories as much as you feel.
You, you know, you've been, you know, you've been, you know,
you've been, you know, you've been, you know, you've been, you know,
as much as you feel you can tell or want to tell your family.
And some of the things that they're amazed at, you know, what you've been able to do.
And your, your mother, she looks at you and she says,
you've never been one to, to, to be upfront about exactly what you're doing.
So I'm not going to pry.
I have a feeling that you are doing more than you say you're doing.
You're probably good to to go with that.
Yeah. Okay.
I mean, I don't want to make anyone worry, so.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
And she stands up and she says, well, the spare room is there.
We still have still have lots, lots to do tomorrow, I'm sure.
Make sure you get, make sure you get a good rest.
And she puts her hand on your shoulder.
Just kind of holds it there for a minute and then says, okay, well, you,
you have a good, you have a good sleep then.
I'll see you in the morning.
All right. I'll see you bright and early.
What would you, what would you like for breakfast?
Oh, oh, surprise me.
Surprise me.
Okay, can do.
And she goes into her room and closes the door.
You are sitting there with your sister for a little while and you come to the
realization that the shoulder that she had her hand on is covered in dragon scale.
Helge looks at you and so what's.
What's with with that?
Oh, it's a, it's a bit of a long story.
Essentially, I have a Dragonborn that's also living in my head and it's kind of
kind of messing with some physiological stuff here.
Oh, so nothing serious then?
No, no, just your run of the mill second personality kicking around.
Yep.
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Yeah, you know, second soul, all that, all that good stuff.
So that's, that's, that's something that you're just okay with and it's just,
just does.
I mean, like it's not my first, not my first choice, but you know, we kind of have this
thing that's a little more pressing than this.
So we're kind of working on that with my friends.
Got a lot, got a lot going on.
Yeah, there's always something.
Hey, yeah, okay.
I'm sure I actually don't know.
Dad, dad left you something.
I don't know if it'll help you.
Um, she goes into a side room and comes out with a, a long box
and she hands it to you.
I guess he's been hanging onto this for a while,
waiting to, to give it to you at some point and she puts it down in front of you.
I, uh, I'll open it up.
You open it up and it is a, a gleaming shining long sword.
Huh.
Um, I know, I know you and dad, you know, you made a lot of
hammers and axes, but I guess this, I guess this went back in,
in the Firebeard family for quite a while.
And he, he never really got use of it, but knew that you, you know,
when you went into the military, maybe when you came back, you would want it.
Um, he left a, left a note with it.
Um, I'll see if I can, hold on, let me see if I can go find that.
And she goes and roots around and comes out with an envelope that has your name on it
and hands it to you and says, I, I don't know if you want to read it now,
or if it says anything of, of, of importance concerning the,
concerning the sword or anything else, but that he wanted you to have this.
Thanks. I'll, uh, I'll, I'll take it with me as, as I go to bed.
Of course. Um, and she says, well, I'm, I'm gonna, since you're, you're here tonight,
maybe I'll go, go tidy up, tidy up my own place and, uh,
and get that all sorted out and come back in the morning, if that's okay.
Yeah, that, uh, that sounds good. Give my, uh, give my best to Lothar.
Of course, of course, will do.
And she gathers up her things and, and heads off.
Let's read this letter.
You open it up and it looks like it's been been sealed up for quite a while.
It doesn't look like it was one that was written, written recently.
It's addressed to Flint. It says Flint.
I hope this comes in handy when you need it.
And then it says the keyword is moist.
And, uh, Flint has a pretty good chuckle about that because, uh,
it's a bit of an inside joke for the two of them going back a long time.
And it says, I hope it finds you well.
Be safe.
Your dad, Fargram.
And I, uh, I pick up the sword and, uh, so, uh, I guess, uh,
as we might as well see what, uh, what this does moist.
The blade begins to glisten.
You see a shining fluid move out
along the blade until the entire blade is coated in a clear liquid.
Yep.
That's generally what happens.
It's just so on the nose.
There's no subtext.
I know we're not subtle,
but I'm dying.
Uh, is it water?
Yeah.
What?
Taste it.
Um, will saying moist again make it stop?
Do you, do you say moist again?
Moist.
You see the fluid come off of the blade.
Like, and go where does it drop to the ground?
Is there a puddle there?
Is it?
It appears viscous.
Is it mucusy?
Are we talking more of like a, like a really slimy fluid?
I'm gonna say it like absorbs back into the hilt.
Okay.
Oh, secret shaft fluid there.
That's great.
That's right.
Yep.
Cool sword.
Now is this a one-handed sword or two-handed sword?
Maybe it was with one or two hands.
I put the sword back in the, in the box and, uh.
Go wash your hands.
And I, uh, and I go to bed.
Well, hello there.
How are you?
It's me, your dungeon master, Russ More.
Thank you for joining us for episode 71 of Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Returning home part two.
And oh man, we were doing so well, weren't we?
And then one of our lovely patrons, Ty, they throw in a, uh, a moist sword
and we all just lose our shit.
Thank you, Ty.
Albeit, I was the one to choose where to have it show up.
So I guess that one, that one's on me.
We do have some more patron items and even characters coming up
in future episodes and some in even this episode.
But I don't want to spoil those.
So, so keep listening.
This week, we've just been gearing up for PodCon.
Some late nights editing, some, some working ahead recordings.
We're super excited to be heading to Seattle and hanging out with all four of us.
If you're going to be there in Seattle at PodCon, make sure you let us know.
We are hoping to meet as many people as possible, fans and podcasters alike,
including as we're meeting up with the broadswords for breakfast.
We're going to have a super fun game.
We've got planned with Travis Van Grof of Dark Dice and Sean Howard
at the end of time and other bothers.
But we're planning on meeting, like I said, as many people as possible
and share the good word of Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We're going to have stickers to throw out people in the halls.
So hopefully we see you there.
And hey, don't forget to come join us in the newly formed Reckless Play Guild Facebook group,
which is an amazing group of people who are getting together to talk Dumbgeons and Dragons
and some amazing actual play podcasts.
Dark Dice, The End of Time and Other Bothers, The Lucky Die, and of course, us.
There are, of course, many other ways you can find and interact with us here
at Dumbgeons and Dragons, including on Patreon, Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast,
where for as little as a dollar a month, you'll become part of
what we call the inner sanctum of Dumbgeons and Dragons.
The dumb dragon cast, making the show better with each and every episode.
You get access to a ton of bonus episodes, exclusive channels on our Discord server.
All of that is in there for patrons.
Again, that's Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
And we hope to see you over there.
To find more ways that you can get a hold of us on social media or email,
just head to our website, dumbdragons.com.
And a big thanks to Sirenscape for some of the amazing atmosphere in today's episode.
Make sure you check them out at sirenscape.com to bring your games to life.
Links for everything mentioned today can be found in the description.
The next episode will be out next Wednesday, January 23rd,
which will be after PodCon.
And while we're there, we're going to be doing recordings together while in Seattle,
but we're not sure whether it's going to fit in the timeline quite yet.
So those will be coming and I promise not to buy super crunchy chips this time.
But we hope you have a great week.
Maybe we'll see you in Seattle.
Otherwise, we'll talk soon.
Thea, you are sitting in your father's study,
and you've been kind of just awkwardly staring at each other for a little while.
Sounds about right.
Till he finally breaks the silence and says,
So, you came home to stay?
No.
I can't.
I mean, you can.
I actually can't.
I mean, there's choices in this world and you can choose to stay.
Okay.
As you might have seen, being that you came from upstairs,
you probably snuck in through your bedroom as you usually do,
rather than knock on the door like a civilized person.
Listen, if I stayed, you would die.
For two reasons.
Number one, I don't know if you know this,
but there's a whole crap ton of badness going on out there.
And number two, like I might legit murder you and mom
if I stay in this house.
I've been here 30 minutes already and it's been nothing but criticisms.
Mom, I take that back.
You and I would be fine.
I think we'd be cool.
Dad, however, he's got to let some things go.
Fair enough.
I have things of my own to work through.
Yes, I realize that.
I'm sorry.
Well, it didn't sound like a sincere apology,
but it's fine.
I'm not here for an apology.
I'm here to bury it all.
You know what?
Were you and mom, you know, super awesome
in tune with their kid parents?
No.
No.
Did you handle my differences in a good way?
No.
Should you have sent me off to the university when I was so young
and only ever talked to me on the weekends?
No, no, probably not.
But all that has made me into the resilient person I am today.
And for that, I can thank you.
I'm with a group who is working very closely
and very, very hard to stop the rise of TMS.
So, you are, you are using your certain skills for, for good.
Yes.
What did you think I was out there doing?
I know you didn't know, but you had some inkling.
I'm sure you've talked to Benny.
I'm sure you've talked to Master Carlisle.
Master Carlisle, you must have known I was out
just trying to make a name for myself.
I mean, that's what they said.
They said you were out.
You were trying to find your own way.
I mean, when you left, you were dealing drugs
to the local kids down the street.
Oh, I never dealt drugs to kids.
You yourself are a kid.
I'm dad.
I'm 200 years old.
Yeah, dad, I'm 200 years old.
It's the same story as when you left.
I was 150 when I left.
Nevertheless.
I am with a good group.
We, we've been fighting for a long time
and it's all, it's all coming to a head.
And whichever way it goes, I just wanted to know that,
that we are okay.
And I wanted you both to know that I love you
and I forgive you.
There's a long pause
and you see your mother move closer to your father
and elbow him a little harder than she otherwise might.
He kind of corrects himself and says,
Thea, I'm sorry.
Thea doesn't talk
because she doesn't want to ruin this moment.
I'm sorry we drove you away.
Well, I'm glad to be back now.
You're right.
We weren't the best parents.
We were doing the best that we thought we could.
It's not easy.
It's not like there's a book on parenting.
There are numerous books on parenting.
I did already reference books on parenting
but none of them appeared to be working very well.
You send me to the university library.
I could have directed you to some pretty good reads.
But thanks.
Just know that you are always welcome back here.
Thanks, Dad.
If I die, I'm going to come back and haunt you
and mom, but in the good way.
He doesn't.
More look out for you kind of haunting.
He kind of just goes a little stone-faced
and doesn't know what to say.
That was a joke, Dad.
That was a joke.
Just trying to lighten the mood.
I don't plan on dying.
Good.
Hey, you don't get the name
Decimator of Dragons by dying.
I mean, it sounds like a job that might end up dying.
Oh, no, yeah, for sure.
But I mean, we didn't get the name by dying.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
Let's go eat.
Is is Herschel still your chef?
You better believe it.
Man, I could really go for a roast right now.
He's been actually it's roast day.
You came on a good day.
I could smell it when I walked in.
Yes.
You head into the kitchen where there is an elaborate
and exorbitant meal.
In the kitchen?
In the kitchen?
In the dining room.
You head into the dining room.
Maybe it's like you fill your plate in a station
and then you take it to the dining room.
No, they're so fancy.
I met Thea's friends with the kitchen staff.
So she goes into the kitchen to be like,
yo, what's up, homies?
Because they like you to give her treats and stuff
when she was a kid.
I take the end pieces of the roast.
Thea, we're in here.
We're in here still.
OK, sorry.
I come in and I'm like I have like a piece of pot roast
in like one hand and I'm like.
You all sit down and continue discussing
and eating your roast.
New Laura.
Yes.
You find yourself back in your room.
You wake up in the morning.
OK, am I covered in blood?
No, you appear to have cleaned up
what blood might have been there the night previous.
OK, so you say I wake up.
Did I like I don't remember
and I just wake up in my room or you remember
or I remember trudging back through the woods
having just murdered a man.
You remember the act of murdering.
You don't really remember all the details
of getting back and getting cleaned up.
Well, that murdering will really take it out of you.
It's probably pretty.
Sure will.
There you go.
OK.
You hear your nieces and nephews playing outside.
Well, I am going to like get up
and try as best as I can
to pretend there's nothing wrong
because this is my like this is it.
I have like a day with these people, right?
I get up, we have breakfast together
and then I kind of kind of ask all the kids
like you guys want to like learn some cool moves
that your that your folks don't know.
Yeah, we don't know.
My dad's pretty cool.
He knows a lot of moves.
Oh, come on.
She's on the decimator of dragon.
She kills dragons and shit.
How many dragons you killed?
Well, kill such a harsh word.
Because decimate is not.
No, not totally.
So, yeah, we like go out to the field
and I'm like showing them moves and stuff
and like doing some of my spells
and, you know, just like just playing
and showing off
and the kids are showing me their moves
and I'm like super impressed
and yeah, it's very wholesome
considering I just stabbed a man eight hours before.
It's good.
You go through all of this
and you go back as they're getting breakfast
kind of served up there
and everybody's seated down.
You're seated beside John Zick
and he, as everybody kind of gets their plates full,
he kind of nudges you and says,
hey, remind me before you go.
I have something for you.
Okay.
Is there anything else that you,
Nulara, want to do before we start wrapping up?
I don't think so.
Like I just want to try and spend time with everybody
and just like hang out
and have things kind of be as normal as possible
because like nothing has been normal.
Even at night here, it's not normal.
So yeah, just like hanging out with the fam.
It's real chill.
It is a great day.
Everything is normal
and as if you had been there the whole time,
you spend a lot of time with your niece's nephews
joking around with your brothers
and their significant others
and it comes time for you to go.
We didn't really say what the signal was
when you got to go,
but we'll say it's about now.
Then I guess I start my goodbyes,
which will take like three to four hours.
We're going to cut away and then cut back
and then you're still going.
You say all your goodbyes,
give everybody big hugs
and John Zick kind of walks you back
to where you came up to
and met with Veres
and he reaches into his pocket
and he hands you a necklace.
It's a small red rock on a chain.
It doesn't look like much.
He hands it to you
and he says,
I know that you're trying to be safe,
but I hope this helps a little bit.
It'll give you,
as the merchant who traded it to me said,
it'll give you a little extra boost
when you need it.
He hands it to you.
Thanks, brother.
I'm sure I'll be back real soon.
Look forward to it.
He gives you a big final hug
and watches as you walk off
back into the woods.
Flint, it's the next morning.
Everybody has woken up
and you've created something masterful.
Yeah, for breakfast.
Did some of my patented
apple cinnamon scones.
Everybody loves them.
And your mom, she kind of looks
to the side there and sees the box.
She says, did Helge give that to you
last night?
Yeah, I guess.
I mean, what's the story with this sword, Ma?
She said it's been passed down
from generation to generation.
I've never seen it or heard anything about it.
Yeah, he he kept it kind of tucked away.
You know that that disgusting joke
you and him used to have?
Yep.
Well, I mean, that comes from
his father and his father and his
and they're very dirty people.
Love them to bits, but good Lord.
Like sailors, mouths like sailors.
Yeah, real trucker mouth.
So that sword was your great, great,
great grandfathers.
And he I guess either found it
or made it himself that I don't know.
I was never I never really stuck around
much longer than when he told me
it was called the moist tongue sword.
Kind of gross.
Anyways, you got the letter too?
Yep. Yeah, yeah, I got that.
I got the letter as well.
Good. All right.
Well, I hope it I hope it works well.
I did.
I did wonder about one thing.
Are our dads smithing tongs anywhere around?
Yeah, we haven't.
We haven't gone to clean out
clean out the shop quite yet.
I'm sure they're I'm sure they're still there.
Is it OK if I if I pop by and and pick those up
just to keep them with me?
Sure. Do you need need anyone to go with you or you?
No, I remember the way.
Yeah, I'm sure I'm sure they're there.
She hands you a set of keys and she's like
she fumbles with I can't remember which one it is
and she hands you the whole ring.
I remember the fake rock that the spare keys under.
Oh, OK. OK, good, good.
Yeah, I'll pop out to go to go pick those up.
You find the fake key in the exact spot where it should be.
We're not the fake key, the spare key.
Find the fake keys. I got you again.
Ah, sucker trickster.
No, you find the spare key and you make your way in to the shop.
What is it? What does it look like?
And what do you what are you looking for?
It's it's pretty dusty in comparison to how I remember seeing it,
because it was always in action.
But yeah, it's clear that it hasn't been used in a while
and everything's kind of in disarray.
Obviously, you know, he wasn't feeling 100 percent
and never really got back to it after he
after he was down for the count there.
But yeah, I brood around a little bit and I find is his tongs.
Is there anything else you want to do
as you feel your time to return to water deep approaching?
No, I'll just I'll lock it back up and hide the key where I found it
and head back for final hugs and goodbyes and everything.
You head back to your mother's place
and she and your sister give you equally large hugs.
It's a big group Firebeard family hug.
And she as you get ready to go, she looks at you and says,
you be safe and you come back.
I promise I'll do both of those.
She pats you on the shoulder where she felt the dragon scale
and she gives you a knowing look and ushers you on your way.
You head back out the secret door to Mithril Hall
where you see the runes beginning to form.
Thea, you finished your dinner.
Oh, so good.
I yell back, Herschel, you have outdone yourself again, my man.
What?
Side adventure for Herschel to cook, by the way.
Oh, yeah, you're the one, that guy.
So anyways, you feel that it's getting to be about that time
when you got to head back?
Mom, dad, thank you for understanding.
This is meant a lot to me and, you know,
whereas before I would have gone out and fought,
I feel like I have something extra I'm fighting for now.
Your mother begins to cry.
Your father reaches over and gives her a consoling kind of side hug
because you're at the table.
Thea, you are always welcome here.
I don't know if it will hold on and he gets up
and leaves the room headed back towards the study
and comes back and says, I don't know if it'll help,
I don't know if it'll help, but I mean, hands you a book.
It might do some good.
I look down at it and I look back at it and I say,
but I don't know how to read.
Fuck, you're never welcome here again.
Also, you don't have a great track record with books.
I feel like Thea is like the inappropriate joke maker
her parents never appreciate it.
I give him a big hug, not a side hug,
like probably the first hug we'd probably ever shared
since before I would like.
It's a little like he doesn't know what to do
with his hands at first.
And then he returns the hug
says you are always welcome here.
Thanks, dad.
Your mom who's still crying comes over
and gets in on the hug.
Ah, so much hugging.
I feel like the hug is going on a little too long,
like dad's really into it now.
And I'm like, everybody's doing a big sway.
I look over his shoulder at the book
and I'm trying to read the cover.
It says multitasking.
Yeah, it says tome of thunderstep.
I break free from this super hug
that surprised us all.
And I give them each a kiss on the cheek
and I wave goodbye as I leave out the front door.
You head back out
and you see them watching you
as you walk down the street of silvery moon
back out as far as they can watch you.
And you head back out to the gate
where the guards there open it and let you out.
I high five them as I pass.
And you see the runes beginning to form
the same spot that you left.
You step into them
and find yourself back in water deep
with Flint and Nulara.
Music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod
of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
Add it to Spotify.
You, it's not as fun when you point
every single one out because then
they don't have to find them.
Well, you know, I'm sorry.
But like, for real, add the entire
rumors album right now.
Yeah, that was legit.
No, that's that's what I follow in his voice.
My dad's a dagger.
So maybe, maybe.
Plot twist.
You want to be a star, don't you?
Oh, God, this is the worst.
I hate you, Russ.
Which one of our patrons made this item, Russ?
Ty.
It's all coming together.
I love it.
Um, and the.
How did he learn all of his tips and tricks?
We'll find out next Christmas.
This puts in calendar Herschel side
adventures.
Christmas 2019.
Damn it.
Yeah, Herschel the cook.
It was mentioned once.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.