DUMBGEONS & DRAGONS

Season 1 • September 12, 2018

E53 - It's All About That Butt

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Transcript

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Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.

from it you see a bloodstone that bounces off the wall and towards the exit and you are in a room of

even more mayhem and chaos okay what's next guys as you begin to examine the room again the

shadows start slowly rotating till they shrink into the gnomon we can put all the gems on the

sundial you reach at the exact same time and your precision is accurate and they all fall

through and disappear podcast over bye guys well really you don't think there's a portal

that they just went through try to i stand on the gnomon thea disappears flint crawls in

and everybody falls harmlessly back into the sundial room where the shadows are pointed at

every single exit the curving path you follow suddenly twists to reveal a proper maze you

hear the pounding of hooves is a massive stone gorgon i really hope that we never figure out

dnd me too i like the way we do it i like the way we do it too welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons

we are dnd fifth edition actual play podcast and i'm your dungeon master Russ More and with me

today is Amy More i have a pink fuzzy robe on and i play thea amastasia and also sporting

nightwear attire maybe carla johnson i am not sporting nightwear attire but i did

literally say to amy when we got on this call you're wearing the robe i missed it so much

the robe was like one of our original players when we started playing around the table

also i play Nulara moonbrook and tom laird and i am wearing my queens of the stone age

concert tee from when i saw them back in january and i play flint Firebeard russ what

are you wearing i am wearing an avengers infinity war thanos t-shirt it's a little

too intimidating i meant to say something like pretty hard is aggressive oh he's yeah he's he's

good like yeah i don't like it no she doesn't like it i wear it go change your shirt russ

it's upsetting carla and i've had numerous people say i am offended by that shirt

as i walk through the door okay i mean that's and he doesn't care i don't care he is a real

troublemaker that's me that's me um yeah welcome everybody uh this is the podcast

and we're gonna jump right in to the podcast but first a message from us

about the podcast we love you re the podcast we notice that you've been listening and we

appreciate you oh we do appreciate you that's true yeah definitely it's like a little psa

yeah i mean it's just nice to throw it back just a little bit yeah you know also you look great

today yeah oh you really do real good okay now pause for response good good yeah yeah um where

i was kind of going with this is we're on Patreon wow wow that is yeah that's whoo i don't

know how i was gonna get there it's a 90 degree turn yeah and when you're on Patreon

you get a random episode dedicated to you and today this episode is dedicated to

katharina sindelar thanks katharina sorry if i pronounce your name wrong yeah katharina you're

awesome you rock also if it's katharina we apologize oh 100 we apologize 100 but there's

a th in there so i feel pretty confident maybe katharina could have gone could have gone

either way yeah it's a cool name it's very melodic i'm deeply into it Patreon.com slash

dumb dragon cast go check it out uh if you're interested in supporting us uh just a little bit

more but i mean if you just got to listen that's totally cool too fuck it let's play dnd

you're still stuck in a maze yeah we are boy how are we so happy about that oh yeah

we're still in there just accepted it you know where we live now this is our life it's

guys it can't be i need to find guac moldy you're right and there are people wondering about her

oh there's a lot of people wondering about guac but i'm very confident that we are gonna

hashtag find guac that's right so you have currently find yourself in perhaps another

maze after you went down a pathway and you ended up in what appears to be a more different

type of maze perhaps even a bit more real that's the queen's english by the way more

mazy sort of style more mazy maze yeah like maybe it's a corn maze maybe it's maybe that's

whimsical right maybe just on the other side we hear like there'll be a pumpkin patch pony riding

and there's yeah people picking pumpkins sure to make pumpkin spice lattes out of

which are now available as of yesterday starbucks get on board uh sponsor this

podcast as this recording is released oh three weeks ago the pumpkin spice

it's more seasonally appropriate for us to be talking about such autumnal things when this

episode actually comes out so that's true yeah yeah way to go ask screw you starbucks whoa we

want them on board ross unless you want to sponsor this podcast unless then we're into it

is this like when you were gonna badmouth google the other night come on ross get it

together come on all these all these could be potential sponsors of ours because i'm sure

starbucks sponsors they're itching to get in the podcast game mediocre dnd

and starbucks are looking for us if you are give me a call five five five

that's my number there's the thing that people need to understand there's like a far fewer

people in canada so our numbers are only three that's true yeah that's very true

brusco five five five and it's all rotary too so oh yeah yep yeah our phone is on the wall

in the kitchen as we speak there are cell phones but they're the 80s zack morris brick

cell phones exactly we really just use them to throw at each other when we're angry but

that doesn't ever happen because this is canada let's face it very genteel

so we're in a maze so yeah the path you follow suddenly twist to reveal a proper

maze cut out of the surrounding hedges moments later the pounding of hooves rings out

and a gorgon charges out of the greenery towards you

roll for initiative does it smell like gorgonzola nice thanks

ah i'm here all day i got a 20 uh 23 i think seven sorry 27 amy that's very good

right no it was just a seven isn't gorgon from trolls no not trolls sorry smurfs

that's gargamel that is gargamel isn't that isn't a gorgon like medusa in her cronies

aren't they gorgons i believe so in this case yeah i'm talking real world greek mythology here

russ bowl yeah stone bowl a stone yes that does sound yes well that's just confusing when we're

talking about myths they can't they can't just take a name of a thing and make it the name

of another thing that's true that's not allowed i mean i guess it is wizards of the coast

way to be confusing so no new law you're first i'm gonna go first is that what you're saying

that's what i said yeah new law Nulara you are up first how far is uh old mr gorgon from us

the gorgon has just come out of the greenery okay and he is now 25 feet charging

towards you and your friends who are standing in the middle of a maze there is an opening

to your right as you look at the gorgon and an opening behind you and to your left well i'm just

gonna try and stab it i know it's really big and muscular and looks like it's got some kind

of armor on it but i'm pretty irritated and would like to get out of this maze so

whether by success or death i care not okay so you're rushing forward charging at the gorgon

yep all right roll it up

all right well that was only a 14 so that probably didn't do anything

oh nope it's okay i'll try again okay well that was a 13 so that probably didn't do anything

either i'm just gonna like yeah i'm gonna scooch a little sashay a little scooch have you seen

that gif of um and it was also in the show of homer simpson just like into the head into the

head just gonna do one of those moves sure i get that um so yeah you charge forward 25 feet

swinging um and uh i mean it's it's we'll say it's glancing off of its horns but you

don't connect solid and sidestep off allowing it to continue charging forward to your friends

okay well donnie's gonna try he's gonna first try to recharge the old breath weapon yep didn't

work so he is probably going to sure he's gonna try and bite this charging bull because why

wouldn't he why would me you guys he's worried about um guac too they're best friends you

know uh that is a 16 uh 16 will not hit okay well he's gonna try and recharge his breath weapon

again and it didn't work again so he's gonna try and bite again and he doesn't because he got a

10 i'm gonna swap out my dice donnie leaps and flies just above not too high because he's

worried about the guac syndrome and hovers above the bull that's charging towards you

and takes a couple bites at its back but misses and the gorgon continues forward i feel like he

lies above it and just is like that and just licks down the gorgon's back

and just as he's about to reach the group lets forth a giant green plume that goes

30 feet out in front of it encompassing flint thea thaddeus and Flamikinskins who all have to make

a constitution saving throw yes you have to make the constitution saving throw everyone

has questions about poison it's not poison i know that's why you were confirming they had

to do it right i crit failed oh that is not great amy uh flint got a 19 thaddeus got an 18

i rolled with a different dice for Flamikinskins it's an 18 for her i know i just swapped all my dice

three of you are fine and you just you just this cloud comes up and over you thea however

we'll get to that in a second the bull as it releases this gas continues charging forward

moving to gore flint as he is the first one in the way or with a 21 to hit oh yeah so that's

15 piercing damage and you must make a strength saving throw or be knocked prone as it is in a

trampling charge okay so i'm gonna take 12 hit points because i can lower these things by three

due to my heavy armor master skill strength throw that's a 19 plus four so 23

you are not knocked prone suck it gorgon and then as you are gored and kind of knocked to the

side the the cloud settles and you see a stone figure and thea is what's called petrified

oh no just like a basilisk does so you can at the end of your next turn you can make another

saving throw and on a success you are no longer petrified on a failure the target is petrified

until freed by a greater restoration spell or other magic next up in rotation Flamikinskins

russ is banging out the uh big guns as far as side effects for us fucking failing

saving throws these days true i mean things things get real if i be hurt if i'm petrified

you have resistance against a lot of stuff if you're petrified nice um so Flamikinskins as

right into the right into the gorgons face Flamikinskins hurls a bubble of acid

and it must make a dexterity saving throw which it does not succeed on and that is a

high roll so that is six twelve seventeen acid damage against this gorgon's face

oh i've mixed up Flamikinskins and flint two fls in that list so flint you go now

okay so being as it kind of knocked flint off to the side i'm guessing i'm

just to the side of it as opposed to in front of it yes so it has a charge like five feet

past you okay uh i'm gonna go alongside it and kind of swing my axe in an uppercut fashion right

where like its front legs meets its upper body just to like just to get in that joint yeah for

sure and that is a 25 that will hit come on big money 13 damage on that one and i'll

continue attacking it in the same spot that's a 21 no 22 sorry it's another 13

we're consistent on the damage front and a 20 but not critical uh yes okay

and that's 12 more damage with like down and up swipings you're working into the joint and

you see like cracks begin to form on the front shoulder and creeping down the back of this

gorgon as it is thaddeus's turn all right everybody make a perception check as well as

as flint is deciding can i perceive anything i didn't think i could uh thaddeus got a

23 and flint critically failed carla got uh oh sorry carla's not there new laura got a 23 as

carla's not here man flint's too focused on defeating this is gorgon but the 23s as the

dust is settling you notice a diamond kind of in the middle of where it shot its blast of

petrified breath which he would currently be standing right over top of so the gorgon is

currently standing right over top of a diamond so the gorgon is standing over the diamond like

as if the diamond is in the floor uh like it's just a diamond that has is placed on the ground

it's not inset in anything okay oh i thought thaddeus had mage hand and i was like does

he have one of those hand spells right where he can grab things i thought that would be very

handy but i'm not seeing here at all handy yeah uh thaddeus is going to touch the stone

statue of thea and cast resistance on it so she has uh an extra d4 to a number

rolled on a saving throw of its choice ah thanks okay i'll need it may i roll two d20s

because i think if i if i add them together i could maybe get it's possible oh and thaddeus

kind of gets out of the way as well so he can go like back into his right as far as where the

gorgon is or back into the left uh he will go to the left to the left back into the left

so kind of just in that doorway there so he runs back and down and just out of sight

or just you know peering around the corner at the action happening thea you get to make a

saving throw yeah i do do it do you remember what kind of saving through it is what i don't

care i rolled a 19 is it constitution it was a constitution okay so 21 so and you can add a d4

to it if you want do it did my 21 i'm pretty sure my 21 made it up to you yeah the effect

effect ends so you the stone begins to fall away from your skin but that is the end of your turn

you should be doing this like when you have like luna's face masks on it gets on crack

you're making all those faces back to the top and that's Nulara okay well i'm going to try

again that's a 27 so you're rushing back towards the gorgon to attack stab it in the

butt nice while i'm behind it so realistically i'm gonna stab it in the butt yeah or how about

doesn't have horns this sounds better i'm gonna stab it like in the rear flank oh sure how about

how about that well you do have all that animal handling stuff so just a fancy way to say butt

stab so that's 18 damage okay i'm gonna stab it in the butt again i'm gonna stab it in the

other side of its butt uh no maybe i'm not 16 does not hit 16 is not a butt stab okay not

a butt stab it's a it's a glance off it's it's a spank stony hide okay you just spanked it

donnie's gonna try and recharge didn't work so he's gonna try and bite that is a 23

yeah uh for six damage recharge attempt recharge fail bite attempt 25

uh and seven damage where is beginning to show and the cracks are beginning to spread throughout

this gorgon as it is its turn and it rears up and stomps to the ground and releases another

petrifying breath which spreads out and encompasses everybody except thaddeus yeah thaddeus

everybody's got to make a constitution saving throw again i'm glad i didn't use that d4

15 i'm using a d4 i got a 20 flay mccain's got a 19 flink got a 20 donnie did donnie roll

donnie got a 12 uh so as the cloud comes up you hear a thud like a stone hitting the ground

as donnie falls to the ground from the brief small height that he was up and he too is

petrified it's not as bad as it looks donnie the gorgon jumps through the greenery in front

and comes back out from the other end down by on the other side of thea

and begins charging back towards you but does not make it as far since it was charging past

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thaddeus does he have an opportunity attack yeah yeah yeah i'll give you an opportunity

attack yeah all right he's gonna swing his war hammer at this bad boy and that is a 22

yeah and nine damage his hit stops him in his tracks and he turns and looks

at him and now it is truly flint's turn all right uh how far out from flint is this bad

boy now 30 feet flint is going to grab his dwarven thrower and throw that bad boy at this

fucking gorgon yeah ranged weapon and that is a 17 17 will not hit okay he's going to do the

same thing again so you throw your hammer and recall it back to you instantly that's right

only to whip it again that's right and this is a nat 20 yeah it is we haven't had a nat 20

in a long time it feels like a while yeah so that's 17 plus five is 22 damage tell me how

your hammer destroys this gorgon uh well after it missed on the first flyby it noticed a little

weak spot where we've been hitting the gorgon repeatedly and there's cracks showing so

as uh flint let it fly again it strikes true and shatters the gorgon into a million pieces

yeah it does thea shakes off the rest of the rock and goes whoo dust herself off good job team

uh yeah so your hammer strikes true and the gorgon explodes and crumbles and begins to mist

up into the air and you have seemingly defeated the gorgon he just i don't like the sound of

that seemingly you have defeated the gorgon yay i don't know what you're talking about i didn't

say seemingly when the gorgons destroyed does donnie magically become unpetrified negative

okay uh guys can somebody do help me out here uh that is that is is gonna cast uh that same

spell again that resistance spell um so should he just should i just roll so it would be

that is his turn flaming kins there's like i can't fucking do shit thea no sorry uh and

then it's back to you and donnie so yeah we'd say you'd have to make a constitution

saving throw at the end of his turn uh that is a 17 you can add a d4 to that if needed

and a d4 because why the heck not that is a 21 you see the stone begin to retreat from donnie

as he stands up he's like well that was a shitty experience yeah but we went through

together donnie yeah high five over here all right with my hand claw which clearly i have

yeah that's weird right didn't we decide that it was like weird baby hands yeah and also you

have a pretty bitching hat so right well not anymore now it's just tiny oh yeah well that

makes it even more bitching that's adorable it's adorable Nulara you told me that it was

adorable is it not adorable no it's no donnie it's adorable you look amazing oh i'm gonna have

a compLex no i gotta hang out with you all the time i wouldn't want you to look like an idiot

shit all right where are we we're in a maze donnie i think the stone is at the same place we've been

forever yeah somebody ought to uh pick up that diamond you look back to the diamond and it is

gone motherfucker well how about thea turns to her right and says how about we go this way you

guys do you do you go as a group do you split up what are you doing well traditionally

we love splitting the party so oh we never split up yeah you kind of follow each other around

throughout this throughout this maze about a minute passes as you're trying to find some

sort of exit and you seem to be just kind of looping around not really getting anywhere

and you hear the beating of hooves and charging out from in front of you thea

the gorgon returns

releasing his breath directly down towards you so thea and flint need to make a constitution

saving throw i get stuck and i don't get to fight this gorgon again that's an 18

oh yeah that's an 18 without any added fun so you're fine but you get a gore attack there

thea for a 19 so that's gonna be 20 piercing damage oh yeah and you must make a strength

saving throw as you were thrown about 13 and you were knocked prone and as a bonus action

the gorgon stomps on you with his hooves holy shit for a 17 that will hit me for another

15 bludgeoning damage oh my god damn so he is currently on top of you and will continue

in initiative order so i guess we'll go back to the top there Nulara you and donnie are up

did he drop a diamond when he released his breath weapon yes you see down in the mist

a crystallizing diamond form as he is stomping on your friend okay i hope my friend starts

crawling towards that she's really tough she'll be fine in spirit yeah she's tough in spirit her

body is weak and brittle she's very willowy and slender uh okay i am going to uh you know try

and stab stab the guy that is a 20 19 damage yeah i'm gonna do it again because i got 22

it's 22 damage uh donnie's gonna try and recharge hey it worked guys guys it worked

worked so he uh is going to well god can he even do that where is everybody here

thea is directly underneath the gorgon but like she's up a little she's all flat on the ground

oh i'm so flat on the ground so prone i'm trying to be very like unassuming and

yeah so maybe he'll stop stomping on me if i pretend i'm not there like sinking into the

grass um i think that now that donnie has recharged he's not gonna shoot fire when

he is right there seems like a bad idea so he'll he'll he'll do a he'll do a bite move

which is a 19 okay for seven damage and then he will do that again uh but that is only a 14

so that's probably a big old nothing 14 doesn't hit so donnie leaps almost on top of and begins

biting at the gorgon as it begins attempting to buck him off and flint what's the what's the

deal with this diamond russ is it directly below the gorgon what's what's the situation

here yeah it looks like it formed like it started its its breath kind of as it came out

of the the greenery so it's kind of just behind where the gorgon is right now and since the

gorgon is all like distracted from stomping on thea would i be able to make some sort of

acrobatic like run and jump uh kind of off to the side and maybe go grab this diamond

if you roll for it well i suppose i could roll for it this is d and d after all hey nat 20 again

oh my goodness the sweetest of flips occur yeah so i do like some parkour moves using like the

hedge the side of the hedge and like run up the hedge kind of crouching tiger style

and uh jump in behind and grab this diamond okay as you pick up the diamond thea and flint

make a perception roll thea at disadvantage because you've got a gorgon stomping on top of you

as a 16 for flint 14 i rolled a 15 and a 14 plus an eight oh right plus eight 22 you've

been adding your modifiers yes i have just not right now so flint as you pick this up

uh you and thea hear greenery like moving um and you see down the corridor behind you

a doorway open up about 30 feet down the next aisle that you were right beside there

do i alert everyone can everyone else see this is it just something that we can see what's

happening here it's just that something that you two have seen uh everybody else is kind

of out of eye shot of where they would be able to see it i do should we like attack

this thing or like disengage and run for it what's what's the group consensus here

run flint but you're kind of trapped under this army crawl my way out it'll be okay

uh i don't want to abandon everyone carla any thoughts it's in the moment man

time's ticking turn's gonna be over in five four three uh i'm gonna attack the gorgon okay

stab it in the butt you're behind it right i am behind it gonna pull a real carla butt

stab here yep no carla's not there it's Nulara yeah but it was carla who wanted to do the

uh that's a 25 on the first attack yes sir uh so that's 14 damage okay i'll give a second

attack uh and that's a 21 on the second attack yes sir oh that's only 10 damage

swiping your axe into its butt uh you begin to

create new butt cracks as it becomes uh thea's turn oh god is this does this thing have me

pinned with its big no you're not fucking you're not pinned you are prone though all right

while i'm prone can i cast a spell well i'm in a wild shape sure yeah i'm in a wild

shape into a winter wolf look at me with all my hit points i yell guys a door yes winter wolves

can speak common we've already been over it it's just been so long since she wild shaped these

are for the it has been it has been and you know for any new listeners sure so yes they do

speak basic common and i say guys a door and i disengage Flamikins kens yells a window it's

not a window from the window to the wall yeah yeah it's from yeah finish finish the lure

dress seems like it would be a song Flamikins kens would be that's true yeah yeah facebook.com

slash dumb dragon cast group i don't know what the fuck it is go put that song in there now

oh yeah oh and the beyonce to the left oh yeah yeah got a couple in this one uh so i

i yell to them that there's a door and i i want to disengage and dash to the door okay you are

i'm gonna dnd disengage and dash that's right so how far are you going well i can move 50 feet

okay i'm gonna go right to the fucking door okay and just wait because guys i'm like

i'm hurting real bad i want nothing to do with any more fighting that's fine um

now with this bullshit right ah

Flamikins kens comes around the corner and she's like what's going on oh shit and then Flamikins

kens casts dimension door what's that she teleports herself from her current location

to another spot within range and she arrives at exactly the spot desired so she's going to

dimension door herself right oh that's the girl oh excuse me she sends the girl on a one

why Flamikins kens why uh Flamikins kens dimension doors right over to the door and then it's

thaddeus's turn he starts like big time like what the where's what she comes in like almost

at a run hey i like snarl like these squares on your map are roughly 10 by 10 exactly 10

by 10 i think if that is like hugs the fucking uh the shrub wall and dashes over there he can

just zip right on over to that door like you guys have been walking around the maze so you

kind of have a feeling that um where thea and Flamikins kens is he could get to from the

other side it's just based on your travels through so he could dash and get to thea without

even passing the gorgon okay he will do that then yeah so wait maybe he should like yeah no

he'll do that that's fine yeah so thaddeus uh turns and heads back down a pathway that you

guys have kind of researched and heads back to the group over there and then it is the gorgon's

turn boom he likes you go home and as the gorgon kind of sees all the commotion of everybody

running away and moving uh flint you look down in your hand and the diamond begins to disappear

and as the diamond disappears so does the door son of a bitch and the gorgon releases another

breath out in your direction flint and down and banks around the corner

to where uh Flamikins kens thea and thaddeus are and you all need to make a constitution saving throw

it probably doesn't hit thaddeus but that is just out of range for all these things

yeah he's lucky it's pretty good uh that's a 17 for flint oh Flamikins kens doesn't do well

either so Flamikins kens and thea are now petrified and flint you see at the base of

where the gorgon is about 10 feet away a new diamond forming in place and just for good

measure the gorgon charges you with of course yeah oh it doesn't do well though that's a 14

oh hooray yeah uh new laura you're up so whereabouts is that diamond

it is about 10 feet in front of the gorgon so on the opposite side of where you are currently

located it turned and faced towards flint and the rest of the group so i have to stab it in

the butt again wow is it always behind so i'm not like i'm not really into butt stabbing all

of a sudden just as always facing away from me or maybe i always have been i mean everybody's

got secret character motivations right this is like an m night shamAlydin level twist here

yeah it's my twist butt stabs uh okay so let's go for the old butt stab that is a 25

yeah that's a solid butt stab and that is eight that is 24 damage whoa that is almost

the most i could get i'm gonna do it again i'm not gonna do it again that was a 12

well like you needed to you just nailed you just gave more damage in that one roll than i have

since we started recording this episode because it would zero i've given zero to

okay how far okay is it is our map positions right now accurate uh as far as i've been

trying to keep up with them so yeah they should be fairly accurate have you determined

in canon that breath weapons go through shrubberies because i feel like you have

didn't that just happen with the gorgon well it went through like the doorway in front of it

and banked around like it hit the wall and kept going well i noticed that it's bleeding but

it's kind of sticking behind that oh well that's because i can't put it anywhere else

like it just where the thing that's okay i think donnie's gonna sure its butt is hanging

no it's fine i mean it's a it's a fire weapon so fire can go through trees trust me as we have

all learned in british columbia oh yeah like light this shit up yeah fire fire can go through

trees so he is going to do his fire weapon which means ye old gorgon needs to uh do a

deck save and this is not going to be good it's going to be amazing it's going to be a seven

it's going to be seven does that save it's it's it doesn't see it coming it just goes

straight up its butthole oh jeez jesus oh boy did donnie put his lips to it like how is his

oh my god why with the visual no the butthole it's too far russe did you hear how many dice

a lot of dice anytime i get a lot of dice it's 22 damage so canonically he's blown this fire

up his butthole and cooks him from the inside out and bursts in a cloud of stony dust vapor

and as he does those watching the diamond it does the same thing and dissolves into the

ground so we're going to go through and make some saving throws at this point uh it would be

flint's turn next if there's anything you want to do flint uh i go and cheer real loud

for thea's saving throw that she's going to make all right make a constitution saving throw

the uh

oh not 20 whoa i have to whisper to my dice right against a fall away and you are back the same

Flamikinskins however did not fare so well and as the stone falls away you're kind of just

watching Flamikinskins hoping the same happens but nothing does happen

hey there i'm your dungeon master russ more thanks for joining us for episode 53 of

Dumbgeons and Dragons it's all about that butt as mentioned off the top if you enjoy what we do

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thanks to sirenscape for some of the amazing atmosphere in this episode make sure you check

them out at sirenscape.com to bring your games to life links for everything mentioned

today can be found in the description and the next episode will be out wednesday september 19th

when maybe just maybe the adventures will be able to get out of this darn maze maybe i make

no promises but maybe but let's jump back into the action and see if they can figure out

this diamond riddle diamonds can be pricey though so you know it might be tough have

a great week we'll talk soon that is kind of gives the old like chin like thinks about it

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for a second he says i might uh rust does the voice for this guy but he sounds like an old man

says i might have something for this and he digs around in his spell component pouch

and he opens up a couple different containers and he can't quite find what he's looking for

and finally he finds a container with the ruby dust in it and he puts a little bit in his palm

and just blows the the ruby dust over the the statue form of flamikins and says

heal thyself he's casting greater restoration uh the ruby dust sprinkles down over top of

flamikins and she she was like standing with her face and like a weird kind of motif seems

pretty normal for her and as the stone falls away she's like okay we're back are we out yet

uh nope not yet guys we gotta we gotta game plan this it seems like we only have a limited

time with the open exit and the diamond so uh i think next time we gotta have people like

make a break for the exit right away and then we gotta get lucky with some some some

acrobatic type of stuff and get that diamond and go agreed how's everybody feeling

i've been better but i'm okay you're still a wolf form right i am perfect that's good because

that will be more uh acrobatic than i assume everybody's gone over to where the stone stone

features were thereabouts oh yeah if everyone was yeah like as you guys are game planning

you begin to hear the sound of hooves again so this is your time so if you're doing anything

in particular okay you guys as soon as you see the diamond one of us will grab it once that

stone door opens up and makes itself known we just need to high tail it there get it high

tail it there i swish my tail i i mean agreed i think whoever grabs it run to the door and

try to open the door maybe the door will stay open once it's open as you finish discussing this out

of the greenery right behind flint you hear the charging hooves of the gorgon as he runs towards

and blasts its petrifying breath out and down towards flint thaddeus and thea god i had to be

in the fucking corner please nobody puts baby in the corner 11 uh thaddeus got a 16 and flint

got a 15 and i say not again mother and then as i turn to stone thea turns to stone again

and flint and thaddeus are fine except for the charging trample that flint receives

uh that's a natural 20 35 piercing damage and you must make a strength saving throw

so that's 32 damage let me just subtract three from that small victories oh boy okay that's a

lot of uh that's a lot of damage and a strength throw you bet that is a 15 that doesn't make it

you are knocked that makes no and as a bonus action it tries to trample you with its hooves

wait a minute wait a minute wait one goddamn minute waiting waiting i am going to use my

indomitable skill and re-roll a saving throw that i fail

17 that makes it so you are not prone yay and it doesn't trample you with its hooves

even better yeah that doesn't feel good doesn't feel good it did not look fun when you were

doing it so no uh Nulara you were up did it drop a diamond did it drop it you were around

the corner presently so unless you move around the corner you may not be able to see if only

someone else who could see asked regardless right do you remember the plan i am going to

i was busy saving things i know you were rolling around and like not getting stomped on it was

amazing i assume i couldn't see i'm gonna come around the corner though and uh you know i guess

try and stab it in the front this time which seems seems crazy but well maybe it'll work

maybe it'll work uh it's a 25 that will hit so you push your way through

and uh make it in front not on the hedges but you're like yeah you're beside flint not

standing on top of it in the front and the back yeah so that is 24 damage okay i'm going

to try and stab it again but i failed because i rolled a nine that will not hit okay donnie's

gonna try and recharge didn't work he wasn't gonna use it anyway because all of his friends

are in the way this time but he's gonna try to bite he he fails he's gonna try again

and he probably succeeds because as a 24 yeah 11 damage

oh hey now do i see a diamond you sure do right at uh like pretty much right at your feet within

five feet of where you are great i'm super gonna grab it you grab it and right behind you in the

same spot that it was before right behind where you the main group of you is pretty much where

i'm frozen yeah no donnie you know oh there's a lot of people in here i know we're all up

there clustered yeah you're there you're there you're there there's a gorgon here sure you're in

that vicinity but right where thea is okay the hedges move away and an exit forms flint should

i go try and open the door guys you're it's it's an open oh no you're not like it's an

open we've been over this i'm sorry oh it's not right beside me yeah i'm like right beside

you can i just hand it to you i mean i guess can i because i can i just can i just steal it from

her hand yeah yeah absolutely i feel like we should all go at once but i will go all right

i'm gonna i'm gonna disengage i don't even think i've been fighting this thing i'm gonna

disengage yeah well you're within range so yeah i'm gonna book it over to that opening with

my diamond in my hand oh sure he's stealing the diamond so you're gonna stand like right

in the entryway like it's open like essentially it's just another pathway down a maze yeah

essentially i'm going to stand in the way as if there was a door there that might try to close

and i'm at the supermarket and it's not going to be able to close because i'm in the sensor

i like it uh anything else you're doing before we go to the next person uh i tell everyone

to get the fuck over here see how does that sound like a character and whatnot tom uh it's

really i'm just running and grumbling so it's like and then i'm over at the door

and we've been with him long enough to know you guys got the gist of it clearly get the

fuck out of here um thea your turn 19 so the stone falls away from you and that's the end of

your turn yeah um but you are right beside the the entrance that's not gonna turn

yeah she does it's her turn next oh Flamikins kins um hurl something just vomit

did she just oh she literally just hurls does she have a nervous tummy when she fights

rough night guys rough night uh that's gonna be five feet away from me so i'm just gonna

go stand with you flint and see what happens okay can you can you drag thea over here with

you i pull her does she what her hair she moves but she growls oh yeah she's a wolf

fatius's turn yeah he's just gonna back away and go for the fucking door while the pathway

that's open yeah so he backs away and continues to go for the door everybody is standing

roughly in the doorway as it becomes the gorgon's turn and where before as it readied its

petrifying breath the old diamond would disappear flint you look at it now standing within this

newly created maze exit the diamond remains present but the gorgon still gets a turn and

tries to gore uh Nulara why did i roll your dice fuck oh it was bad guys it was a 15

15 to hit okay doesn't hit and then it's Nulara's turn i can use well i probably don't even

need to use this can i just like run away yep you can disengage and run okay that's what i am

going to do donnie's gonna come with me all right so both of you uh disengage and run

towards the group that is standing in the exit um and as you continue down the path you turn

and see that the gorgon stops at the passageway that is created and kind of steps back and tips

his hat because he was wearing a hat that we didn't say um exhales a giant green plume

and turns and exits into the hedges beside it and you guys run back down this maze that

is created and after a short while you enter back into the sundial room where the shadows

are pointed still at a through h i see why sundials are no longer in favor

music in today's episode was by Kavin mcleod of incompetech.filmmusic.io i mean sorry about

your cat but um it's kind of dark and angry yeah no i wish you hadn't said that i didn't like

it at all i think you should probably cut that part out someone's gonna be like how did you

know my cat died and then we don't need dead cat stuff happening well maybe it's something

more innocent like they had to switch the cat from wet food to dry food and they're and

we're just sorry about it yeah because the cat's not happy yeah however however they're probably

happy because wet cat food smells disgusting oh yeah it does not smell good confirmed doesn't

smell good not just not just you doing them over and over and over again just kind of like

kind of how we do this joke over and over and over again yeah i know apologies it's been a

while we'll brainstorm better jokes no we won't we won't brainstorm better not a chance

let's stumble upon one and then hold on to it forever forever correct gorgon charges out

charges charges charges right at you if i die this round doesn't mean i don't have to play

the rest of this game you won't die Dumbgeons and dragons is a dumb dragons production