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Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We are the Guild of the Nine Shadows.
Fancy.
Well, be on your way.
Go catch the train.
What's a train?
Do we know what trains are?
Yes, because you've ridden the train before.
Do we?
When you arrive in Waterdeep,
you sense a sudden shift in the wind,
and with it brings a strange sense of unease.
One woman stands up and she says,
The disturbance that's been sensed
across the Sword Coast is the dracorn.
Well, I say we go north
because it sounds like more fun as well.
And that's how I base a lot of my decisions to adventure.
To you too.
This is the F-R-O-S-T-S-K-I-M-M-R.
The frost skimmer.
Yeah.
Thank you for playing along with that.
As the ship hits a large wave,
you have to hold onto the railing
and you hear more crewmen scream from port side
as people and cargo are dumped into the water.
You guys should be making now either a dexterity
or a strength check to see if you stay on the boat.
All right.
So whichever is better for you.
Oh, strength is better for me.
Fuck.
Guys, guys, I rolled a five.
Plus?
Two.
All right.
Solid seven.
Okay.
I rolled a 10 plus four.
So that is 14.
I rolled a 12 and it also plus four.
So it's a 16 for me.
You have a low center of gravity because you're a dwarf.
So you just like, you're solid.
I'm short to the ground.
Yes.
Thea is so tall and thin and graceful
as she just like gets knocked over easily.
It actually all makes perfect sense.
It's all checking out.
So Flint, you managed to hold onto the edge,
but Thea and Nularaaaa,
you are knocked into the frigid cold waters.
There are five, six, seven marrow in the water with you.
Was Nularaaaa knocked over with her flaming sword?
Because you can totally use that now.
You have all of your equipment.
You don't have to worry about burning the boat down.
One thing that I'm going to tell you now
is that both of you who are knocked into the water,
you have to make a constitution saving throw
at the start of each of your turns.
So not yet.
Oh, and we might have disadvantage
because we're in the water.
On each failed saving throw,
which I will tell you if you pass or fail.
Uh-oh.
On each failed saving throw,
you suffer one level of exhaustion.
So once we get there,
Wilt, I'll tell you what happens if you fail.
But until then, let's roll for initiative.
20.
I got it.
Oh, good one.
18.
I got a three.
Solid.
So got that real bad roll out of the way.
I mean, you got knocked into the water, right?
I got my good roll out of the way.
And now I can just do mediocre shit
for the rest of the time.
Excellent.
Okay, so Thea, you're up first.
So you've got-
Yeah, I am.
Yeah, you've got most of the marrows
swimming around you as you fall.
So each square is five feet.
Oh, we're on the opposite side of the boat too.
Okay.
We're farthest away from,
well, I mean, Flint's up there.
He could help you.
No, you know what?
That's fine.
I'm going to do Ice Storm.
I'm gonna cast Ice Storm.
Okay, and what does Ice Storm do?
Ice Storm, it rains down ice from the skies.
You should look up
because that's going to affect a lot of people
or not a lot of people.
If it does, I'll take it back.
Also, because we are in an icy place,
these creatures probably have advantage against icy stuff.
Oh, yeah, but it's bludgeoning.
Oh, that's some aggressive ice.
It's some big ass hail thing coming down.
Okay, okay.
I'm like, doesn't anything get hurt
if you hit it hard enough?
I suppose.
That's always been my philosophy.
It's like, I live in the mountains,
so if you hit me with rocks, doesn't matter.
Yeah, that's how it works, right?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Okay, Ice Storm.
A hail of rock hard ice pounds to the ground
in a 20 foot radius, 40 foot high cylinder
centered on a point within range.
So it's 20 feet.
So where's my point within range
that would not affect the boat?
Is it the furthest guy?
Five, 10, 15, 20?
Well, it's centered, right?
So it comes out, so that'd be five, 10.
So yeah, you would miss the boat
if you centered it kind of here around.
Okay, good.
I'll go to the left of the furthest guy.
Ooh, fancy.
So what?
What?
Things are happening.
I showed them where I was talking about
and they saw the little circle pop out.
I thought they were talking about
how impressive my Ice Storm was going to be.
Oh, that's also.
Well, no, I like that too, but.
Each creature in the cylinder
must make a dexterity saving throw.
Okay.
You're gonna do that right now?
I'm just going to.
What is happening?
No, but like, are they gonna do that right now?
There's gonna be label these guys as we go here
so that I can keep track of them.
That is going to be 18 for red guy.
Okay, red guy saves.
And 13 for blue guy.
Ooh, blue guy doesn't.
Okay, so red guy is going to take half damage.
So the creatures take 2d8 bludgeoning
and 4d6 cold damage on a failed save.
Whoa.
Okay.
Half as much on a successful one.
Yeah, okay.
So roll that out.
I roll a 2d8, I know what that dice looks like.
Shut up.
Seven, seven, 14.
Ooh, good roll.
That was a bludgeoning damage.
So one guy gets that full shot
and another guy only gets seven of that.
Okay, and what about the cold?
4d6, six, six, one.
Four, that's 17.
So 31, jeez.
He is on a hot streak with those rolls.
She's killing it.
Okay, wow.
Good.
The red guy takes half of that, yes?
Or all of the cold?
He takes 2d8 bludgeoning and 4d6 cold on a failed save
or half as much on a successful one.
So he just takes half of whatever damage that I, yeah.
Okay, so blue guy is bloodied.
Yeah, he is.
Red guy is.
I swim in the pool of his blood.
Fantastic.
I revel in it.
I feel like it fuels me.
It's gonna warm you up in that frigid water.
Yeah, well, advantage.
Oh, you didn't take your constitution saving throw.
Oh, shit.
Well, we'll forego it for this first go around
just because I didn't make it.
Because if you failed it,
it would have affected how your rolls were.
Of course.
Okay, so.
Let's pretend I did it and I did really well.
Flint, you're up.
All right, none of them are on the boat yet, correct?
No, they are not.
I'm wondering if I should just stay on the boat
or like jump on in there.
You should stay on the boat,
I think Flint for sure skis.
Throw boxes and stuff.
Can you find something to throw?
So Larry's still on the boat with me.
Who else is on the boat?
You've got, let's say two crewmen
on the surface of the boat.
There are more crewmen underneath,
but they haven't come up.
Okay, so two crewmen, Larry and myself.
Yes, sir.
I will mosey on over to where Larry and the crewmen are
just to give the appearance like I'm ready to fight
in case anybody comes over the side.
Do you have any ranged attacks?
Do you have a bow and arrow or anything?
Do you have a slingshot?
I've got some throwing axes.
Yeah, but you'll lose that forever.
Yeah, it'll be gone.
That's true, I do have a throwing ax,
or a slingshot here somewhere, hang on.
I will refer to the page.
You guys picked up those slingshots
in like the first session, so that's.
I used mine before, I know.
I know I've used it too,
but it's just been a very long time.
Come on, Dennis the Menace, these bitches, do it.
Okay, there we go.
1d4 plus two, and it's got a plus three to hit.
So I guess I will try and attack.
How is Mr. Blue doing?
Is he bloodied or is he doing okay?
Mr. Blue is the only bloodied one so far.
All right, well, I'll try and add to his misery
by throwing a couple sling rocks at him.
Because I'm a real jerk.
So that's 16 on the first one.
For your attack roll?
Yes, definitely not for damage.
I don't think a 1d4 goes that high.
That's fair, that hits.
So five damage on the first attack.
Whoa, crit 20.
What?
With a slingshot.
Yeah, way to waste it on a slingshot, hey.
So five damage with the first, oh, five again,
so 10 damage in total on the second one.
So you hit the marrow with the second shot there
and you see him disappear beneath the waves.
You can assume that he is no more.
No, no, put this ball in the crossbones.
That's a big red X through him.
Come on.
Well, that means he's poisoned.
Oh, does it?
Oh, nevermind then.
It's gone, you don't have to deal with him.
Now it's the marrow's turn.
So we're gonna go, the green and orange guys.
Three of the marrow begin to rock the boat again.
I break out into song from Guys and Dolls.
This is all that's been in my head, Amy,
ever since he said rock the boat the first time.
So thank you for saying that,
because this whole time I'm like,
don't knock the boat over.
Yeah, it's in there, it's in my head.
They begin to.
I just wrote down rock the boat off my note.
No reason.
Well, we've said it enough times
that it obviously means something.
Oh my God.
They begin to do that, but it doesn't rock.
The episode title.
It doesn't rock the surface of the boat
nearly as much as the last time.
There aren't as many of them doing that.
So we don't need to make any saves there.
This yellow guy goes to attack one of these crewmen.
And Nulara, you hear,
because you're on the same side as him,
you hear a scream from behind you
as the marrow takes a bite out of that crewman.
He takes eight damage on that bite.
And purple guy is gonna move over
and go to attack you, Nulara.
He comes at you with his claws
and he gets a 17 on the first attack.
17 is my AC.
Which means he fails, he's a failure.
Good, hate him.
Tries to pull you in for a bite though
and again, misses on that one.
Red guy comes over to see you here.
I'd like to see him try.
Does the same thing.
He gets a 23, not critical on his claws.
And you take.
A shower.
12 damage, 12 piercing damage.
And he pulls you.
I don't know why it's wrong.
Because he probably clicked something.
I didn't.
And he tries to pull you in for a bite.
And he, again, Nulara, you're up there.
So all the marrow have gone,
Nulara, it's your turn.
Okay, so I whisper Mui Caliente.
Yes.
And it's amazing.
And my sword lights on fire.
And then I roll a not fantastic roll of a six,
but I have plus nine.
So that is 15.
Is that a hit?
15 is a hit, yes.
Great.
Then I am going to do seven plus five is 12.
Plus six is 18 damage.
To that purple guy.
And then I'm going to attack him again.
Yeah, you will.
Maybe I won't.
That was a four.
So that is a 13.
13 is not good.
Okay, what about Donny?
Donny's going to do some, I don't know.
He's going to do something.
Let's see what he's going to do.
Sure.
He rolled a 16.
There you go.
That's good.
Well, Donny, what a good job he's doing.
And I think that he just does a D4
plus something is my recollection.
Yep.
So he rolled a two plus two.
So that's four damage.
And then that he has to do a constitution saving throw
because he's, Donny's trying to sting him.
That is a six.
Oh my goodness.
He's poisoned for one hour.
It's never happened before.
Donny just like peed.
He's so excited.
That's it, we're done now.
What did you say you rolled?
Six.
Oh, it's so much even better, you guys.
It's so much even better.
If the saving throw fails by five or more,
which it did because he had to beat 11,
the target falls unconscious for one hour.
What?
He's going to drown.
What?
Donny just drowned a guy.
Wow, Donny.
Donny, you're so badass.
Oh, it's so good.
Just say he's under the water.
Yes.
Yeah, he disappears beneath the surface and he's gone.
Amazing.
Donny.
Yes, we high five.
Of course, of course.
We know what, like with his little tiny,
his little tiny pseudo dragon paw,
he flies over me.
We high five.
Now it's Larusta's turn.
I mean Larry.
Larry. Do it Larry.
And he has a heavy crossbow
that he's going to try and shoot one of the marrow with.
So he rolls.
Oh, not well.
He only gets a five on his attack roll.
So he doesn't, he shoots into the water
because he's just a little frazzled
with what's going on here.
And then the crewmen get a turn here.
So this guy is going to come over here
and throw his spear,
which hits for six damage to this yellow guy.
And this crewman is going to attack said yellow guy,
but it does not.
And this guy is going to go over here.
Why are we always teamed up with people
who can't do stuff?
The crewmen don't do anything.
We're just going to omit the crewmen for now.
Poor crew.
Okay.
Fia, you're up.
Yeah, I am.
All right.
So I am going, who's around me right now?
I got red guy.
I got green guy.
Green guy trying to shake the boat.
Oh wait, I need to, I need to roll.
I have to do a constitution saving throw.
No, it's hard.
Oh yeah.
You're doing it my turn?
Yeah.
Come on.
Yes.
Make a constitution saving throw.
Way to be honest, Fia.
Way to be honest.
You get so excited.
I did.
Seven.
Seven, you failed your first saving throw,
which means you are now at level one of exhaustion,
which means you have disadvantage on ability checks.
Okay, that's fine, but I can still...
I can still murder him with my magic?
Yeah.
Neat.
Okay, I'm gonna swim all of it over to green guy.
And I'm going to use blight, which means
the necromantic energy washes over the creature
of my choice that I can see within range,
draining moisture and vitality from it.
The target must make a constitution saving throw.
That's five.
I don't think that's gonna be good.
The target takes eight D8 necrotic damage
on a failed save.
Whew.
Okay.
Let's do this.
Do you need some more D8s?
Nah, I just need someone to add for me.
Five.
Four, six, seven.
Nine.
Is there a reason why he's only counting
by ones and twos?
11.
I don't like it.
Because I am low, really shitty.
18.
There you go, there you go.
What am I at?
21, 29, 30.
Nice even 30.
30 damage.
I like it.
I rolled many ones and twos.
Let's just say that.
Okay.
So you flooded him with that damage.
Is there anything else that happens?
Is there, are you asking me
if there's anything more than eight D8 damage?
Anything more than the 30 damage?
Like it wasn't enough?
He pees a little bit
and it gets a little bit warmer
in that water for Thea.
Yeah.
I swim a little bit closer just to make sure that.
For sure.
I'm getting as much of the warmth as I can.
Flint, you're up there.
I guess none of them are on the boat yet, hey?
Not at the moment, no.
I blighted the guy who was trying.
Yeah, I guess I will slingshot away
since I have 28 more sling stones.
All right.
The first one was,
well, I mean, it might not be successful, but nine?
Nine is not successful, no.
Okay.
Oh, this is better.
23.
23 is much more successful.
Okay, perfect.
And five damage.
And I guess I will go for Mr. Red.
Red.
And now it's their turn.
I'm just gonna do one big roll for them.
So Red Guy begins to climb up into the boat.
He's gonna try and go for you there, buddy.
All right.
He misses on his first claw,
but second one, that's going to be a 21, not critical.
All right.
And you will get.
Hep A.
My favorite of the heps.
That's 10 damage.
Hey, all right.
Green Guy.
Much the same.
First claw doesn't do anything.
Second gets a 19 on Thea.
I assumed.
Yeah, that's eight damage.
Orange Guy backs away from the boat here
and pulls out a harpoon
and tries to shoot up onto the boat at Larusta.
And that is a 22.
So he hits Larusta for 11 damage.
This guy here pulls the crewman
he's battling under the water.
The yellow one misses entirely what he's doing.
So it is Nularaaa's turn.
So you have to make a constitution saving throw there.
Okay.
So I rolled a 12.
Do I do anything else with that?
Do I add anything to that?
Yeah, your constitution bonus.
Oh, I see.
So that's 13.
You save that.
So you are not exhausted yet.
Ooh, nice.
Perfect.
Am I able to do an action
but then also an attack or those are the same thing
or I can move, right?
You can move.
I'd like to try and get back in the boat
and then shoot someone with an arrow.
Can I do both of those things or do I have to choose?
No, you can do both of those things.
You can move up to 30 feet
and each square is five feet.
We'll say that to climb up into the boat is another.
Okay.
Yeah, you could move up and shoot.
Yeah.
Okay, perfect.
That's what I would rather than swimming alongside
in the boat.
I will try to get in the boat
which I assume I do like strength or dexterity
or what should I try to roll to do that?
Yeah, maybe dexterity, check.
Okay.
That is 17.
That is fine.
So you're back up into the boat there.
Nice.
There I am.
Look, I moved and everything.
So I'm gonna check out this rotational skill.
Is it the red guy in the boat?
The red guy is, yes, in the boat, yeah.
Okay.
Oh, by the way, I also sheathed my sword
so it's not on fire anymore
so the captain won't kick me out of the boat.
So maybe I will, no, since I'm on the boat
and he's only 10.
Okay, so I can still move more.
I can still move over to the red guy, right?
Rather than shooting someone outside of the boat
with an arrow.
Yeah, you should be fine.
Great.
So I'm going to attack him.
That is a 20, not a natural 20.
I am not on fire anymore.
So he only gets,
so he only gets a roll two sixes on my d6.
So he plus two, so he is 14 damage.
And then I'm going to attack him again
because I have that guy, which is a 17.
And then he gets two plus six, eight plus two,
10 more damage.
Because I hate that guy.
He is knocked back out of the boat and he is dead.
Perfect.
Now, Donny will, I think he can go 60 feet.
I think he can go a bit further because he's flying.
So he maybe is going to go over
and try to bite the green guy that is attacking Nia.
Attacking as you lose that turn.
And he got, oh yeah, because you dehydrated him,
didn't you?
Yeah, he's looking sick.
Well, it's fine.
He's still the closest to the people
I care about the most.
So he's going to-
Finish him off, Donny, finish him off.
Yes.
So Donny rolled the 16 plus three, so that's 19.
Donny killing it tonight.
I know, Donny is doing real good.
And then he gets two plus two, so that's four damage.
And then the guy needs to roll a constitution.
He gets a 15 on his constitution.
Okay, so he is not paralyzed.
Okay.
This time.
This time.
And it's LaRouste's turn now.
Come on, Larry.
Reloads his crossbow and tries to shoot
at the orange marrow in the water.
Oh, Jesus.
It doesn't.
Larry, what the fuck?
It's like, I'm sorry, guys.
It's cold on the fingers.
Your turn.
Okay, well, I'm in the water, I guess, still.
I mean, which has worked out for me fine,
but I'm going to try to get back up in the boat
and also use a ranged weapon.
So if you try and get back up in the boat,
you're going to have an opportunity attack on you
from the marrow that's right beside you.
Oh, fine.
I will fight him.
If I must.
Just kill that guy, then get back in the boat.
Yeah, I'm very close to him.
So I'm just going to, I'm going to take a dagger
and I'm going to, both my daggers,
I'm going to dagger him in the sides,
like in both ribs, like, like.
Nobody can see the action I'm making,
but I'm, I feel like I can picture it.
I feel like I know the one you're doing.
I could hear it and then help me visualize it.
This, this is strength, right?
Yeah.
21.
Yeah.
Yeah, 21's great.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, so dagger is one D four plus two.
Okay.
Is that all it is?
Really?
Yeah, it's a dagger.
Two?
Plus two.
Four?
Yeah, that's it.
Did you dagger him with twice?
So just for one of my daggers or?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you had to go again, yeah.
Okay, good.
Three?
No.
One.
You rolled two for your first one.
Yeah.
You only get to roll it once more.
Okay, fine, seven.
God.
Yes, right?
No.
Two.
Nine.
What, why?
Two.
Two plus two.
Is four plus three.
Three plus two.
Oh.
Oh.
Let's just split the difference and go nine.
He is dead too.
Yay.
I killed him, yay.
Can I move after I attack?
Yes.
Okay, I want to crawl back up on the boat.
Yeah, make a dex.
Oh, I should have rolled before then.
Just make it.
Sweet.
It's all right.
19.
Yay.
You're back up in the boat.
You just like levitate up or something.
My rolls have been just awesome.
Yeah.
You still have that exhaustion stance on you.
Whose turn is it?
Flip.
It's my turn.
All right, so the rest of them
are still down in the water, correct?
Yes, the pinkish looking one there.
He is under the water.
You can't actually see those two right now.
Okay.
But the yellow one and the orange one are still visible.
All right, I guess I'll take a little trip.
Down the boat.
I will throw some more slings at the orange fellow.
Oh, since I get bonus crits on 19.
That's a crit.
Nice.
All right, so that's one and two is three.
Solid roll.
And five, so eight damage on the first attack.
Eight.
And second attack roll is a 13.
Any bonuses with that?
That was with bonuses.
13's not good.
So the marrow we're gonna go.
So this pink marrow comes back up here.
And the crewman does not.
He's been under for a while now.
Well, yeah, full turn here.
But yeah, so the crewman does not come back up.
The pink guy does, however,
and he reaches up into the boat
to grab at this other crewman that's here.
And pulls this crewman into the water.
This yellow one, he attacks the other crewman
and takes a chunk out of him with his claws
and he takes another eight damage.
And orange guy shoots his harpoon up into the boat
at Flint.
Bring it.
And he rolls a 23, not critical.
Ooh.
And you get.
You did.
You get seven damage.
Nulara, your turn.
I guess the pink and yellow marrows
are like on those guys, right?
I shouldn't be firing arrows at them.
Unless you're really sure that you're gonna.
I'm on a moving boat.
I'm probably not that confident.
So I will shoot an arrow at the orange guy.
That is a, sorry, I don't use my boat that often.
I need to check my things.
That is a 22.
I'll assume that's a hit.
You're good to go, yeah.
For one damage.
Oh yeah.
But I will shoot another arrow at him on my next attack.
For one damage?
And that's a, yeah.
Wow.
Cause it's only one D8 for me.
That's it.
No bonuses, like I don't have anything with that weapon,
but it's my only range weapon.
So I got a 19 on my second attack.
And that is three damage.
Donnie is maybe gonna go and try and bite
like the yellow guy.
Cause he can get in there quick.
He got a 23.
Donnie.
Donnie's badass.
Killing it. Hello, Donnie.
I know, it's crazy.
He's really coming into his own.
And he got six damage.
And that guy needs to do a constitution throw.
He got an 18 on his constitution.
Well, I guess he's fine then.
And then Larouste gets another turn to save the day.
Okay.
So he shoots his heavy crossbow again
and that's a 17 this time.
So he actually hits something this time.
Oh, nice.
Whoa, Larry.
I don't know which dice to use
because he hasn't hit anything yet.
There we go.
And he gives six damage to the orange.
Good job, Larry.
Nice.
Way to join the party.
I'm useful.
Whoa, let's not go put labels on anything.
It's now the crewman's turn.
They're in the water.
They have to thrash around wildly.
One of them takes a level of exhaustion
but the one on the yellow one manages to land a hit
and he takes two damage.
Thea, your turn.
I'm going to, I can run across the boat, right?
Yeah.
I can go 30 feet.
So five, 10, 15, 20, 25.
I'm going to take out my oath bow
and I look at the yellow one
and I say swift death to those who have wronged me
and I try to shoot them.
13 plus, what was dexterity, right?
14.
Yes, 14's good.
Cool.
3d6.
Six damage.
Hey, Flip, you're up.
All right.
Okay, so still no one in the boat.
Nobody in the boat.
Okay, I've got 27 stones left
so I will see the way again.
That's a 20 but not critical.
Okay.
I'm still going for Mr. Orange, by the way.
Yeah, for sure.
So that's four damage on the first one
and 22, not critical
and four damage again, consistent.
You did more damage with a slingshot
than I did with an oath bow.
Dennis the Menace wins again.
It's the Marrow's turn.
So the pink and the yellow Marrow
pull both of those crewmen under the water
and they disappear.
And at the same time that happens,
the orange one disappears under the water.
And as you wait for a little while,
none of them come back up.
It appears that they have fled.
I'll take it as a win.
Fantastic.
Yay.
Some of the other crewmen kind of watch over the edge
to see if anything comes back up as does Larry.
But those three crewmen that were brought overboard
died in that battle.
But Larry says, no, that happens sometimes.
He is not broken up.
He's not.
They knew what they were getting into.
Some of the crewmen seem a little more perturbed
but Larry's like, well, yeah, they signed on for that.
But you guys, you fight really well
in comparison to me who does not
apparently fight very well.
I wasn't gonna say anything.
But you're a hell of a captain.
Oh, thanks.
Thanks for saying, thanks for saying.
So with that done, it was about nighttime now
and you guys continue to travel on
as you said you wanted to just stay on the boat
through the day and night.
And come morning, you see off in the distance
some fishing boats filled with what looks like hunters
in the boats.
So there are two boats you see
going by some nearby ice flows
and they are filled with six hunters.
What are they hunting?
Maybe we should ask them that.
How far away are they?
You see them at quite a distance.
If you were to have Larry redirect the boat
you could get to them.
Can we just ask Larry what he thinks
they might be hunting?
I only ask that question because I thought it was strange
that we automatically assume they're hunters
maybe on a fishing boat.
They have spears and stuff.
So we're close enough to see their weaponry?
Yes.
Okay, should we just talk to them?
Maybe they know more about
this woman we're trying to find.
Maybe they've seen her.
They might wanna go over there.
It's probably a good idea.
Hey, Larry.
Yes?
Let's head over to that boat
and ask those, their crew a few questions.
Maybe they can give us a little more direction.
Maybe they've seen something.
He says, yeah, we could do that.
There are some tribes in this area.
So I mean, they're usually pretty forthcoming
and friendly, but yeah, we'll go over there.
So they redirect the boat
and you notice that the two canoe boats
kind of notice your ship coming towards them
and they are beginning to paddle away from you.
They do not like the cut of our jib.
Is it because our boat is like bloodstreaked
and like scary?
I mean, it could have something to do with it,
but yours is faster than theirs.
And you pull up alongside
and one of the crewmen begins talking to them
in a language that none of you speak.
Not even me.
I speak a lot of languages.
You don't speak this language.
I also speak five languages.
Who speaks?
The made up word you're about to make up.
Towel microphone mousy.
Dwarfish.
Oh, that's me.
You lick.
You lick?
You lick.
You lick what?
You lick.
Oh, easy there, people.
None of you speak it, all right?
So they have an interaction
and people in the boats,
they seem quite unfriendly
and give very short answers
to whatever the crewman is saying.
And before the crewman is kind of done talking,
they try harder to paddle away.
So it doesn't look like they're offering
any information to him.
And he comes over after and says,
I don't quite know why they're like that.
I mean, usually they're a shy group,
but they don't, generally speaking,
act with any malice or rude towards outsiders
coming in and asking questions.
So it seems odd,
but they didn't give me anything to go on
based on what you guys are looking for.
I wanna talk to them more and make them give me answers.
Could we, could Donnie,
cause he can speak to people telepathically using images.
So could he show them,
I guess we don't know what it looks like,
but we're looking for that drag horn, right?
Maybe he could show them a picture
of like a dragon and a horn.
Yeah, something like that,
like to try and communicate them sans language.
Yeah, you could do that.
Okay.
Yeah, so Donnie does so
and gives them all an image in their minds
of what do you want the image to be?
Well, because we don't know
what the woman we're looking for looks like, right?
So we couldn't do that.
It's not like he saw a picture,
but yeah, I guess like, yeah, the dragon and a horn.
I mean, it's called a drag horn.
So that seems reasonable, right?
Yeah, the drag horn.
Yeah, he does that.
He shows them a dragon and a horn
and we're talking like the instrument, not like.
Yeah, not like a horn.
Well, I just thought we need to clarify for Donnie.
Yeah, like the instrument, perhaps a French horn.
Who knows?
So he shows them that and they all look very confused
and some of them a bit scared
at the fact that they're seeing these images
against their will.
Oh my God, Donnie can totally mind break them, Jesus.
And they begin to paddle faster off into the distance.
Seems fair.
Yeah, congratulations, everyone.
We scared them half to death.
Now they have stories to tell.
What else do we see?
Just some ice?
You see a lot of ice and yeah,
just the canoes heading off into the distance.
That's all you see right now.
Do we wanna follow them?
I mean, that seemed like an un-worthwhile interaction
because we can't talk to them, so.
Yeah, maybe we leave them alone
and go back on our, continue our course.
Okay.
So you.
What were all those dice rollings?
I have to decide what you see next.
It's magic.
I see, I see.
So you guys continue on for a little while.
Are you going in the same direction as the boats
or a different direction?
I think the previous course we had set
before we asked.
So you guys carry on for another half day or so
and off in the distance.
During that time, I sit and I meditate.
Good call.
For four hours, which means I'm good to go.
Well, this is the next day anyway, right?
So everybody should be all healed up.
Yeah, there's enough time for a long rest in there.
So everybody should have.
I still take my long rest in a short period of time
because I can.
For sure.
You hear above ship, Larry yells down.
He says, you guys should come up here
and take a look at something.
That's vague.
Let's go take a look at something.
Okay?
Totally.
You go up and you see, he points off to the side
and you see a large silhouette of a massive iceberg
with a flattened expanse at one end
rising to jagged peaks at the other.
And he says that, I don't know for sure
but what this iceberg looks like,
looks like that of what could be
one of Aruthatar's lairs.
Ooh, let's check it out.
Ooh.
The direction of it does kind of match
where the people in the boats were going.
Let's get there.
Let's see what's up.
Oh, I want to put my feet on solid ground.
Totally.
So as you get closer,
you come up to this large shelf of ice
down near the water line
and you see the canoes, very similar canoes,
the hunter that we're being talked to
and given images earlier.
You also see that this landing is littered
with enormous cracked bones,
including ribs that arch taller than a human,
creating an entryway into
where you can climb up onto this iceberg.
Seems inviting.
Is there a welcome mat of sorts?
Totally.
You spend a little while kind of looking at the area.
If you want to make a nature check.
As a 14 for me.
It's a six.
13, but I have advantage on that.
What does that mean?
You get plus two.
Yeah.
Okay, so 15.
So you recognize the bones
as mostly whale and huge seal bones.
And as you kind of examine them a little more,
you discover tooth marks with a monstrous bite radius,
giving you, leaving you evidence
that some sort of gigantic predator
ate at least some of these creatures.
And as you examine through them,
you find some smaller human bones in the pile as well,
all of which show the same bite marks.
That sounds promising.
Mm-hmm.
I said, there's a dragon over here.
Let's go.
I run forward through the ribs,
but like singing in the rain style.
So I'm kind of like swinging off of each of the ones.
I'm just happy to be back on the ground.
Twirling around them.
As you guys kind of get off the boat,
Larry says, if it's all the same to you guys,
I would like to keep my crewman on the ship,
being that if this is, in fact, a dragon's lair,
I don't want to leave my ship unguarded.
Fair enough.
Yep, you guys are pretty useless anyway.
And it did prove to be a very safe place
for all of your crewmen on the boat.
I kind of more muttered that.
I don't want to be rude,
but I do want to talk a little bit of shit
just to you guys about him.
So, like, whatever.
No problem there.
It's time for a break, obviously.
Well, you know, we've been traveling long enough.
We're all getting a bit irritated with each other.
We've got a little cabin fever setting in.
Yeah, yeah.
An ice chasm splits the cliff face above the ice shelf
rising to the top of the plateau.
And the chasm is about 20 feet wide near the bottom,
but narrows to five feet wide at the top.
And steps are cut into the ice,
making for an easy climb up to the top of the plateau.
As you get up to the top, it's not level.
The ground is uneven and fractured
by different narrow ice chasms.
You see, when you come up to the top of the plateau,
in a row, there are 10 corpses frozen into a wall of ice.
You see three Lusker warriors, a dwarf,
and six of the people who look the same
as those who you were talking to in the canoes.
The bodies have been preserved in the ice,
making it impossible to tell how long they've been there.
But that's what you see as you walk up there.
And there is a bit of a footpath
that continues along more towards the center
of this iceberg.
I stop in front of one of the frozen people,
and I look back at Plinthi and go,
should I like thaw one of them out
and see if they're still alive?
They can maybe tell us how they got here
and what's going on.
How's your resurrection magic?
It's not.
So I could thaw them and they could just be dead,
or they could be just frozen.
And when I thaw them out, they'll probably still be dead.
But they mean they could be alive.
I think we could probably leave.
Okay.
Maybe next time.
Well, if nothing else turns up,
let's come back and unthaw one of these bad boys.
I patch the ice and I'm like,
maybe next time you guys,
I'll get my necromancy under check.
Love it.
There is an obvious path,
which looks to be that of,
which has been made by the hunters
who you saw in the canoe
leading towards the center of the iceberg there.
Off we go.
Yeah, I'm already on the path.
As you travel along it,
it doesn't take a long time
before you see smoke rising
over some of the snow drifts
and some of the different chasms and stuff
that you're walking through and around.
You see smoke rising from the center of the iceberg
in very chimney-esque type streams.
Guys, I think we should go there immediately.
Agreed.
What else are we doing?
We hurry faster thinking
that there might be a warm place.
As you approach,
there's a large chasm and ice ledge.
You are noticed by a pack of sled dogs
that is a little bit further ahead there,
and they begin barking and growling
as you enter into this open area
that opens into a village.
I have animal handling.
I'm proficient in animal handling.
Okay.
I also have animal handling.
Okay.
So.
I also have a minus
to my animal handling ability.
You stay back.
All right.
You stay back.
I think maybe we get them to stop barking.
We befriend them and we're like,
it's okay, puppy dogs.
Because we don't want to alert the town
and barking dogs make people unsteady.
Makes sense.
Yeah.
So.
Eight plus seven.
Are you the only one?
New Laura, are you doing this as well?
Yeah.
I also have.
So if you have, if I have proficiency,
I just add my proficiency bonus
or do I also add like my,
I guess wisdom bonus.
You would add your wisdom and your proficiency bonus.
You know what?
On your character sheet,
beside where it says animal handling,
it gives you a number and that's your bonus.
This is factual.
Does it.
Does it now.
I rolled a 16 plus five.
So 21.
You're trying to calm down the dogs
and you're somewhat successful,
but you hear almost as soon as you start doing this,
the sound of footsteps and yelling
coming from the village.
And you are greeted by a whole slew of warriors.
There are 25 warriors,
30 commoners.
And there's also three people who are more dressed up
in different looks like tribal regalia.
I remain like sitting on the floor,
on the ground surrounded by the dogs.
And I've like got one laying down
and I'm scratching its belly.
That's how.
You didn't succeed that well.
What?
Why not?
Can I pet them?
Am I petting them?
I just remain off in the background,
not talking to the dogs at all.
So you are greeted by a whole bunch of people.
The warriors have weapons drawn
and they begin yelling at you in their language.
Yulia, what do you do?
I wave.
Hello.
Hi.
Yes.
Smile, wave, look friendly.
Be non-threatening.
Kind of like lift up our hands,
you know, in the universal like.
Look, no weapons in my hands.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You are now surrounded as they're pointing spears
at you.
And after a little while of them yelling
what appear to be questions at you,
you hear from up the way you came, Larry yell,
just don't make any sudden movements, okay guys?
And some of them,
some of the warriors turned to look
where he was coming up and he walks out
and he says, I don't know
why they're acting like this guys.
Like really?
They're really normally very nice people.
As he's describing this,
one of the warriors comes up and knocks him out.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Thanks Larry.
In fact, all three of you are struck from behind
and are all knocked out.
Hello.
I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More
and thank you for listening to episode three
of Dumbgeons and Dragons.
This one titled Rock the Boat.
I hope you're enjoying what we're creating here.
I just wanna take a moment to say sorry
for the technical issues midway through.
We are working on remedying this
so hopefully it won't last too much longer.
As for exciting news,
Dumbgeons and Dragons is on iTunes
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More details on that soon.
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Thank you again for taking part
in what we have going on here.
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Let's get back to the adventure.
Our next episode will be out February 1st.
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Have a wonderful couple of weeks
and we'll talk to you then.
And you wake up,
you're unsure how long later,
but you are in a very small yurt,
tied up.
All of your belongings are out of reach
and you are being watched by one of the people
who was dressed up in some of the regalia.
I mean, he asked a question to you.
Larry is awake at this point
and Larry interprets what he's saying
and he says he wants to know what we're doing here
and why you're here and what you want from them.
Well, Larry, you know,
we are in search of a woman
who might have the location of the Dracorn.
And if we can control the Dracorn,
we can start to eliminate our big dragon
and dragon cult problem
that is the scourge of our part of the world.
Larry interprets, but the man,
he says the dragon problem is not a problem
that can be taken care of.
If you think you can, you are foolish.
That, yeah, that sounds like us.
But we're also very stubborn.
Do you think that they like worship this dragon
because they're living like surrounded by his carcasses?
Right, so maybe we want to,
instead of talking about, I don't know,
like anything negative about dragons,
we want to just like really focus
on how we're trying to find that woman and that ship.
Like that's what we're,
have they seen anything like that?
You describe Makoth the Crimson
and he kind of takes a pause and says,
we've heard stories of her and her ship,
but they were destroyed years ago
by a dragon named-
Aruthator.
Well, he uses the phrase old white death.
Yeah, sounds like the same guy.
But in fact, the dragon itself
was killed a year ago by frost giants.
Oh, twist.
Twist indeed.
He starts describing how they are living here
and that you guys need to leave right away
as there are many different sea monsters in the area.
And he tells you that he is surprised
that you walked past the ice shelf
as those are all the bones of the monsters
that they have killed in trying to keep people away
from where they are staying.
They're saying they killed the whales
and the giant seals, like the rib tunnel.
He did not refer to them as whales or seals.
He referred to them as bones of sea monsters.
I do not think this group is very educated.
But also they're lying
because there's teeth marks on them,
like giant teeth marks.
So how'd they kill them?
They're pulling our legs here.
Call a note on it, Eulara.
Well, so we can ask like,
oh, it looked like there was teeth marks
on those giant bones though, huh?
Without being accusatory, but you know.
He takes a second and looks like he's searching
for the right thing to say,
but then says, you must just leave
for the safety of our tribe and for your safety.
There is nothing for you here.
Can I ask him,
before the ice giant defeated Arithator,
who's now dead,
were they ruled over by this dragon?
He does not say, but a look in his eye
gives you the feeling that there is something
that he is very concerned about.
Do the ice giants rule this land?
He says, no.
Is Arithator the dragon actually dead?
He avoids the question and says,
I've got my answer.
If you do not leave,
Arithator is gonna be pissed and destroy your village.
If you do not leave,
we will force your strongest warrior
to battle our strongest warrior.
Would this get us the answers to the questions
that we've been asking?
Because we're not above a fight or anything.
I'd prefer to work together to solve this problem
as opposed to kill your strongest warrior.
That just sounds like a backwards step to it.
Do they need help fighting the frost giants?
Because we're all over that.
Yeah, we are very helpful.
We don't want to fight them.
He says, if you feel you can help us,
the only way I know that you can prove this
is to battle our strongest warrior.
Do we have to kill him?
I don't really want to kill him.
Me neither.
I really don't want to kill your strongest warrior.
I mean, we can like-
Can we just fight till-
Like main?
Or even-
Fight until he gets too tired?
Or fight until we could have struck a killing blow,
but not actually, you know what I mean?
Like how they would fight, like a training fight.
The battle must be to the death.
All right, fine.
Let's do this.
Why do you want us to kill your strongest warrior?
So bad.
You know what?
Maybe they don't trust the strongest warrior.
Maybe he's in cahoots with them.
Maybe he's just trying to get us to do his dirty work.
Who knows?
Which one of us is going to murder
perhaps a very innocent person?
He says one of the stipulations of this battle
is that it must be one-on-one.
No magic is allowed.
No.
And the fight continues until one contestant
is unconscious and dying.
Ooh, so not necessarily dead-dead.
All right, I volunteer as tribute.
Yes, I was going to say.
Also, what do these people look like?
Are they human?
Humanoid?
Yeah.
Humanesque.
Yeah, very human, humanesque.
Human-like.
Yeah, Flint.
Also, I don't want you to turn your flaming sword on
and be disqualified, so.
Oh, yeah, I guess that's magic.
That's a really good point.
Yeah, Flint is like the least magic we have
with the most strength.
Knock him down, Flint.
Let's do this.
You've accepted the battle.
So you are brought out.
You're allowed one weapon.
I will take my two-handed great axe,
thank you very much.
And your armor, of course.
But you guys are brought out
to the center of the village.
All of the people from the village
are encircling the area.
And you come out and you are greeted by
a very large man
dressed in full gladiator-type armor.
And he is probably at least double your size,
who has a shield and a spear.
And all of the commoners and people surrounding the area
are all chanting a word,
which Larry tells you that this word is,
what he assumes is this man's name,
and it is orca heart.
So they are chanting this louder and louder
over and over again
until you are escorted into the center of this arena.
["Song of the Dumb Dragons"]
Music in today's episode was by Kavin MacLeod
of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
Dumb Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.
["Song of the Dumb Dragons"]