Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin in a moment.
Yeah, I'll be right back with that registrar.
What, what are you doing in this room?
This is where I spend my time when the students aren't here. I make notes from the day. I log important events. Any gestures to the cabinets that are in the room?
Oh, question for you. Please. You said this is where you stay when the when the children aren't here, when the students aren't here. Where did the students go?
I presume the students went home for the day.
Okay.
Did you ever check upstairs? What do you mean?
Nothing.
How many how many students would be in this class for you to check on?
Presently enrolled, as far as I recall, based on your questions, I have a feeling some things may have changed. But perhaps that is I that has changed. There were 37 students enrolled at this school.
Do you do you know their names?
I have a registrar of their names. Yes.
Who is the baddest one?
All students are here to learn and better themselves. There are no bad students.
Who is the naughtiest one?
There were some that tried the patience of the teachers. Yes. Rusty. Rusty was one.
When when they were naughty, you know, shenanigans were happening. They've been told several times to stop. What kind of consequences are we talking about?
Is your interest in the punishment of students?
Well, yes, just to compare against my own experience, you know, I'd like to know what I'm getting into at this school. Or was discipline not within your purview here?
It was just a marker of discipline. I imagine the discipline would be taken on by the teachers, which how many teachers did you say there were and what were their names?
There were two teachers here when I was he as he as it's speaking, it appears to be gaining context from the things that you're saying.
There were two teachers here. Last I recall, a dwarven fellow named Kill Darum and an educator went by the name of Demise.
What's a dwarven's teacher's name again?
Kill Darum.
Kill Darum?
It's better than Kill Delights.
Kill Darum.
And bring in the noise and bring in the fun.
Less teaching to do comedy.
Lessen the rule, was it?
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast and I'm your dungeon master Russ More, he, him. Also with me today is Amy More as Alydin, she, her.
Are all students classified?
Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, he, him.
Ask again later?
And Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard, he, him.
Yes, please. And that, thank God. Thank you, little dice.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported show, so every twist, every triumph, every truly questionable decision is possible because of listeners like you.
Join us today at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast. And now, fuck it, let's play.
But 270 years is not necessarily a long time for a dwarf.
Okay, um, yeah, you were gonna ask something.
Uh, well, yeah, no, I was just wondering, like, who made you? Is that rude?
I did not know my manufacturer.
Me neither.
I'm sorry.
So, like, the worst consequences I've gotten in school so far have been just detention.
She looks over at Bizarre and goes, just kidding.
Like, would the kids get detention here at this school?
Children have received detention, writing of lines.
Oh, line writing, yeah.
Cleaning of various equipment around the school.
There was never any ill intent towards the children, if that is what your question is.
Well, you know, sometimes, you know, for their own good or whatever, that none of that happened here.
Not under my watch.
What city is the school in?
This school resides in, and it looks like it's considering the three of you.
This school resided in Vinter's mouth.
Uh, that read was weird.
Um, is this machine being shifty?
I wouldn't expect it, but I've seen weird stuff.
You can roll in sight.
You're really liking those two tonight.
Those twos.
All right, that's a seven.
I'm going to stop rolling you.
What is happening?
I'm getting all the twenties.
These boys are rolling shit.
All right.
Yeah, unfortunately, yeah, you don't pick anything up off any sort of
contextual feeling one way or the other.
Who is the principal at this school?
Well, the principalship was shared by the educators.
Oh, so, so Keel and Demise?
Correct.
And who wears short shorts?
Hmm.
Oh, it got Russ with that one, guys.
I don't know who wore short shorts, but boots with the fur was Demise.
But she had the whole school looking at her.
Twas hot in her.
And that's where that will stop because it's in the school.
You hear it's the school for children.
I footsteps and a call downstairs.
I have that registrar.
Do you do?
Is it safe to come down?
Oh, yeah.
Thank you so much.
Look at Alydin.
Like, oh, I assume she's not like coming down the stairs.
Is she?
I thought she was like screaming from the top.
Oh, she was screaming.
She was very much not wanting to.
Does anybody want to come get it?
Sure.
I'll, I'll, I'll be right there.
All right, Cav, you quickly run up the stairs, grab the list.
She says, is everything OK down there?
We found some weird like automaton type thing that said it's like the
guardian of the school.
Anyway, gotta go figure this out.
We'll be back.
Oh, I like you have interpreted hall monitor as guardian of the school.
I love that so much.
I mean, what is a hall monitor if not the guardian of the school, Amy?
I love it.
That's someone who takes their job real seriously.
Cav, you come back and have the registrar's list.
So do you know how to play any cool games?
I did not partake in playground games.
I monitored the children.
OK, but like X's and O's?
I do know the rules for X's and O's.
And did you play?
No.
Did no kids ask you to play?
Children asked me to play.
It was not my role to play.
Did you want to play, but you didn't because it wasn't your role?
There's been stuff I've wanted to do, but that I didn't because it wasn't.
Like. For me.
But I still wanted to.
I was in charge of the children's safety.
Russ, are there any other doors in this room, or is this kind of just
like where this ends?
This is where this room seems to end.
So, yeah, in this room, there's the desk that this being was seated at.
He's it's now standing in front of you.
There are a few filing cabinets that do appear to have documents in them.
Some of them are like, yeah, like a cracked open a little bit.
How tall is this entity?
He stands six foot four.
Oh, so very big.
He appears very tall in front of all of you.
I think Cav is probably the tallest of the three of you,
and he's still taller than Cav.
So looking down at the floor, at the ruins that we're standing in,
what sense can I make of what I'm seeing?
Arconically, do you want to roll our comments, please?
And that thank God.
Thank you, little dice.
That's going to be a 24. We're back.
Damn, damn.
Class is now in session.
What you see just at a glance, without any sort of check,
you see a faint circular etching in the floor.
There's geometric precision that doesn't appear to be decorative in any way.
It currently is not glowing.
But when you did step inside, you saw that faint glow,
which appeared at least context clues to activate this hall monitor.
You see lines intersecting at odd angles
that don't quite align with the room's general architecture.
You spend some time as as it's talking
and you catch something.
The structure of the ruins resembles
a sort of puzzle,
and it has similarities to certain ruins that you saw in the library room.
The geometry itself
matches the ley line alignment diagram that you saw in that room as well.
The magic itself, the ruins itself does not appear to be local.
Nobody in town or nothing outside of these extra
planar events where have you been able to tie to anything in particular.
The system itself appears to be built
with the same principles as the false entrance.
And when you trace the outer ring with your eyes,
the circle itself briefly appears larger,
not physically, but conceptually.
It's as though this room once existed inside something much bigger
and then it snaps back really quick.
OK, as you're examining it, you cross the ruins and enter into the circle.
And as you do so, the bell that is on the hall monitor begins to tremble.
You hear a slight
tinkling of this bell.
One room glows briefly.
And you hear a whisper not coming from the hall monitor,
but you bizarreed hear a whisper that says status pending.
Does anybody else hear it or is it just bizarre?
Just bizarre.
I'm going to pull out the the the thread
and see if there's any reaction from it.
You pull it out and the thread tightens slightly,
not violently, just enough to confirm that this place
perhaps was once tied to what you're seeking.
OK, I step out of the circle.
The bell on the hall monitor stops vibrating and the room slowly dissipates.
OK, I remember.
I remember Bonwyn hearing it.
So the voice that I heard in the false index after placing my
tome on the pedestal repeated itself.
And it's a lot of similar
activity to the false index.
What do you mean?
Well, the I hold the thimble out and I heard the thread out
and just kind of let the spool like float for a moment
and then grab it up again and say also
step in there and see if you hear what was the phrase that you heard again.
Well, you don't even have to tell me just.
See if you hear it.
I don't think I said it out loud.
Yeah, I step in to the circle.
OK, because I trespassered.
Alydin, you step in and
you all hear the hall monitor's bell tremble again,
and this time two rooms flicker.
You know, after a brief moment, both go dark.
You don't hear a voice, Alydin.
The bell stops ringing as the lights go dark.
I step back out and I shrug.
Hmm. Nothing.
Cav, you try. Yeah.
OK, sure.
Cav, you step in after Alydin exits and similar to Bazaar,
one room illuminates a different room on the other side of the circle.
Can I be walking around and sketching these rooms as I go?
Sure. As they're doing things.
I don't have specific images of them, but just right.
I sketch rooms. Or Cav room or whatever.
Same thing. The bell trembles.
One of the rooms glows briefly and Cav, you hear a whisper,
again, barely audible, that says status pending.
Anything? Yeah, same sort of thing Bazaar had.
Hmm.
Why?
Why us?
Um, hey, why did they hear a voice and I didn't?
I'm addressing the construct, obviously.
I have an answer for that.
OK, good.
I love it when there's an answer for my question.
Very rarely does it happen at all.
So this is exciting.
Welcome to the middle, everybody. How are you doing?
Hey, we are right here.
Wondering about you. Glad to be here.
Oh, I'm doing great.
You know, is living the dream of working at Target.
Oh, shit. That's a that's a deep pull.
It's that off screen is what that was.
You know, it could be an inspirational time for Kyle
just to motivate everybody is what it could be.
That's right. Motivational words.
What do you really want to be doing, man?
Yeah. What do you really want to be doing?
Because if, you know, you want to, you should try it. Yeah.
What if you want to, like, help support your favorite podcast?
Fucking. Oh, my gosh.
There's a place you can do that, Carla.
Wow. What?
Tell me. How do I do it?
He's the most coherent start to a middle we've had in a long time.
Word of mouth on, like, social media.
But if you're looking to get like something for something,
a little squid pro crow, you know what I'm saying?
Then we got that Patreon.
We do. Hell, yeah, we do.
We've had it for a while. We talk about it incessantly.
But that's the only way to make sure people know about it,
because they duck in, they duck out, they listen to the story.
They wait till they get caught up.
And then there's this constant reminder of us saying, hey,
we love to do cool things.
And because of your support and all of your amazing generosity
and joining us in this community, it's allowed us to do it for.
We're coming up on our 10 year anniversary next year, guys.
Oh, my gosh. That's crazy.
Damn. I'm adding it to the business agenda
that we have to talk about our 10 year anniversary.
OK, we got a plan for that all through year nine.
We can't do what radio does and figure out they're halfway through
a big milestone anniversary and then be like, well, let's do a day.
Yeah. I mean, we could do that. Yeah.
We'll see what happens, but let's endeavor to do better.
Let's do we go like that.
So good. Yeah, we got there.
But Patreon, which when you come support us on Patreon,
that's exactly what you're doing is you're supporting the stories
that you love and us in creating those stories
so that we can create more of them for you.
Goes to help us cover the cost behind the scenes
because making a podcast ain't free
as much as it is free for the public.
There's some things that come along with that.
And it also allows us to go do really cool things like get together
in the same city and play games together,
which is an entirely different dynamic.
And I'm not going to knocking on wood.
Yes, not going to have to say it.
Damn it, Russell.
Come on. I want you can't lightning can't strike twice.
It does. Yeah, it does.
There's things specifically designed to attract it.
And I feel like you saying that was one of them.
Like you're a pneumonia lightning rod now.
Yeah, it's going to come back twice.
It's going to be that old ammonia.
No, that's what I'm talking about.
It's going to be the same.
Monia is coming back for revenge.
It's like, yeah, retro ammonia pneumonia.
I joke because it was terrible.
It was terrible.
What wasn't terrible was that we all got to get together.
And that was thanks to our patrons.
It was. Yep.
So Patreon.com slash dumb Dragoncast.
And when you are a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you
like today's patron.
Loading, loading.
Thanks, Loading.
Javier Lutegas.
Thank you, Javier.
Got it in one.
Join us today at Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragoncast.
We hope to see you over there.
Now we'll get you back to this episode.
Thanks for being here. Love you. Bye.
Love you. Bye.
It looks to consider your question and then
goes to it takes a couple steps towards you.
Do you do anything?
No, I don't back up or anything.
I'm feeling pretty chill about this guy. Sure.
I step forward a little bit.
Sure, it it sees you step like, you know, kind of in the way
and it pauses and takes a step back and
turns to you, Bazaar, apologies.
I am moving to the filing cabinet
on the other side of the room.
If you would just I can move further.
No, sorry. Yeah.
And I shove Bazaar.
I go, Bazaar.
I step back.
Don't embarrass me.
He kind of takes a side step around
and Alydin nods and moves to the filing cabinet
and pulls one open,
begins filtering through some of the files.
He pulls a thin folder
that you can kind of see over his shoulder.
It looks like it has some meticulous script on it.
And he he pulls it over.
I'm trying to like. Yeah.
You see over you see
the header that says transitional students
hold until classified.
Inside you see names without ages.
You're kind of skimming through as he's going.
Ages without names.
Marginal notes like exhibits adaptive traits.
Does not respond to standard placement.
Re-evaluate after alignment event.
And then one page as he's flipping through
that he lands on that's blank
except for a single line that says
Alydin pending determination.
And it is dated for three days from now.
I don't think you can be classified.
What does that even mean?
Uncertain.
Ask again later.
How does one get classified?
What are the classifications?
Why can't I be classified?
Oh, is there.
Is it a test?
Do you just look at?
Do you just.
Did you classify them?
I'm pointing to Cav and Bazaar.
It is not I who classifies.
Who classifies.
Can I see that?
He hands you the file.
Damn.
I hand it back to Bazaar.
I didn't really want to look at it right now.
It was a blank page with my name on it.
That's.
So who classifies?
I'll open it up and look at it.
I don't believe I'm authorized to remember that.
Somebody's authorized your memories?
Tilts his head again.
I don't believe I'm authorized to remember that.
I don't like that.
That seems wrong.
Doesn't that seem wrong?
I mean, it doesn't seem great.
Seems ominous.
Is Tally's name in there?
Why would my name be in there?
When did your name get in there?
So you don't know who.
Is it important to be classified?
I'm gonna go back to my other one.
What are the classifications?
I like that question.
Classifications are specialties or traits
that may be deemed of interest.
If I ask of interest to who,
are you gonna say that you're not authorized
to remember that?
Believe I'm authorized to remember that.
Okay.
What was this school for?
Education.
In?
All subjects.
Including magic?
Magic is categorized.
I am not.
You are though.
Then what is my purpose?
I don't think purpose and categorization
are necessarily the same thing.
You've told us to protect the kids.
Are you protecting them from categorization
or classification?
I don't believe protection of classification is necessary.
Have you found anything that determines
whether classification is negative in those files?
Flip through these files.
Doesn't appear to-
Are all students classified, Bessard?
I don't think that's how it works.
You've never worked school administration,
so I can't say that for sure.
Kav, do you know somebody who,
do you have a contact that knew like administration
for schools or something?
I mean, not off the top of my head,
but probably Oak knows someone.
Should we ask June?
June might know.
Does June even know about this?
That's a great question.
Who is June?
I think that's the answer.
June's a good friend.
I wanna have like an aside with Bessard
and just be like, come here.
Step out of the room, yeah.
What are you thinking?
I don't think that like this,
I'm getting the feeling that this guy
isn't inherently bad,
but I'm getting the feeling like he has like a trigger
maybe that will make him do something bad.
I think you're onto something there
based off of the runes on the floor.
It appears, like I said, tied to the false index
or the archive in general, so.
Should we ask him about the archive?
I don't think he's permitted to remember that.
That upsets me.
I know, it's okay.
It'll be okay.
I look down at CQ and I go,
I permit you to remember everything,
just so you know.
We can go check with,
we know June doesn't know about this thing.
What we need to figure out is.
Hold on, how do we know June doesn't know about this thing?
That's actually a fair point,
just because it doesn't know June
doesn't mean June doesn't know about it.
True. They could be like,
hey, there's like this weird thing in the basement,
don't touch it.
And as the school administrator,
like maybe there's some handoff from the previous one
to explain what the hell's going on?
I wanna give the benefit of the doubt.
Like, can we keep him?
I don't think that's a good idea.
I do think that we take note of this event,
recognize its potential,
but other than some of the oddities
going on in the classrooms.
We should ask him about the oddities
going on in the classrooms.
True, maybe it's something related.
That's the next direction.
Let's go.
Hey, Joe, mind if I call you Joe?
What'd the kids call you?
They just said hall monitor, didn't they?
They did.
Is there another name that you would prefer to be called?
I have not considered it.
Okay, well, yeah, consider it.
Would you call me Joe?
If you like it.
I don't find it distasteful.
Okay, if you do, let me know.
I'll call you Joe.
I'll stop calling you Joe.
There are some weird things happening in the school, Joe.
Like desks, like growling at students
and like moaning, kind of complaining.
The bells are ringing all by themselves at weird times.
Also, there's this weird knocker
that is like interrogating people
before it's letting them inside of the classrooms.
I just developed a list out of nowhere.
What do you, have you seen anything like that?
Isn't that weird?
I don't believe I'm authorized to remember that.
Then it glitches briefly.
The runes on the floor,
you said they look to appear like a puzzle piece.
I'm going to try to manipulate,
see if it's able to be manipulated like a slid
to actually be solved like a puzzle.
Are we talking like one of those tile puzzles?
Yeah, something like that.
I'm thinking more so like spinning the rings
to make the picture come together is where my head's at.
But yeah, yeah, I like that.
Let's go with it.
Yeah, so you are,
let's figure out how that works with the description
that I gave and what you pictured.
So you see them as like physical pieces on the floor
or you see them like on a wheel in the middle of the floor.
Yeah, so you described them as like a geometric precision
and they don't seem to match up.
It's like they're like off kilter from each other.
So I'm imagining they probably need to be like shifted
so that the,
so essentially the ley lines that they're representing
are readjusted to look proper by magical standards.
By magical standards.
So I'm thinking maybe there's a disconnect
because of the way the rune is right now
and maybe altering that if I can will permit him.
Absolutely.
So you bend down
and find that the runes themselves
are inlaid within this secondary piece.
It's not obvious the amount of dust,
the amount of clutter that's kind of in this room
wasn't obvious at first,
but you brush some of that away
and you find that you are able to manipulate them.
And as you manipulate them, the runes themselves,
like as you move this circle,
like it's moving like a lazy Susan.
The runes themselves begin to spin in place
as you move this structure.
There are brief moments where the runes,
as when you step through it,
like some of them light up on the other side
and then quickly fade.
Every time one happens,
there's a jingle of the bell on the hall monitor on Joe.
Every third or fourth light that lights up,
there's like, it looks like Joe is glitching.
I'll let you decide how far you go
with that, seeing that response.
The first time I see a glitch result
in an erratic behavior that could hurt somebody,
I'm gonna stop.
Okay.
Yeah, we'll say like lights light up,
bells go for the first couple of times,
but then on like the third, fourth time,
you see the glitches, like the same subtle glitch,
but then like there's this rattle of his figure
and which causes you to kind of retract.
The, as the runes are spinning,
like you see the ley line picture
that was in the center of this, as I described,
which was the same that was up on the wall
in the previous room.
You see the same as it's all laid out,
you have a sketching of it from Alistair,
who unfortunately isn't here,
he would love this shit.
I'm sure.
You see it start to faintly glow,
like right as you stop.
Like it's just a low, like glowing hum.
Doesn't look like it's fully illuminated,
like all the runes, like they glue bright,
but then they quickly fade.
Joe, are you okay?
I am fine.
Do you?
I feel fine.
You feel?
I don't feel, and he looks,
he's looking at you kind of for context.
I don't feel like I would bring anyone harm.
I meant, are you hurting?
Pauses, but doesn't respond,
and then looks down at the clipboard
that's fused to its arm,
and he looks at it as if considering it,
like he hadn't since you guys walked in,
and lifts a couple of pages,
and pulls this card.
It's a parchment card,
looks like a thicker stock of paper,
and he goes to hand it to you.
Says, I forgot I had this.
He hands it to you and says,
this permits passage without escalation.
I believe it is incomplete.
He hands it to you, Alydin.
I reach forward and I take it.
Do I see something that is incomplete on it?
You see what looks like a hall pass or badge.
It's warm to the touch as you grab it,
and you see runes shift with names and rules.
As he hands it to you again, he repeats.
This allows passage without escalation.
I am not authorized to know why that would be necessary.
Dumbgeons and Dragons, season four, episode 57,
starring Amy More as Alydin,
Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane,
Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave,
Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard,
and Russ More as your dungeon master.
Dialogue editing and sound design of today's episode
is by Russ More.
Our community manager is Jessica Babiak.
Music is from Epidemic Sound,
and sound effects are from Epidemic Sound,
Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.
Our amazing cover art is by Matt Garbutt.
A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak,
Ongorong Kiersen, Perry Matey,
Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
Old School Gamer D, Craig Zeiss,
L.A. Branton, Chibs 1012, and Kudzu828.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported show,
and because of our Patreon supporters,
we get to keep telling bigger, weirder,
more heartfelt stories in this world we love.
And honestly, that's something
we will never take for granted.
Join us today at patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast,
and help us tell the stories that you want to hear.
We hope to see you over there.
Have a great week, and we'll talk to you soon.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.