1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,480 Really cutting it close, getting in under the wire. 2 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:05,600 The party's still happening, but the ceremony's long gone. 3 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:07,360 That's okay, we've got more for you. 4 00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:08,759 Coming up in just a moment, 5 00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:10,720 Dumbgeons and Dragons will be right back. 6 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:14,560 The bridal parties filtered back in 7 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:17,359 and taken their seat at the head table. 8 00:00:17,359 --> 00:00:21,120 Everybody's, some appetizers have been served, 9 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:23,120 drinks have been flowing. 10 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:27,400 Certain people are perhaps getting a little sloppy, 11 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,360 being that the drinking started 12 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:31,640 well before the ceremony of this. 13 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,920 Not only started, was encouraged. 14 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:38,920 Was thoroughly encouraged and pushed to keep everybody, 15 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:42,600 which is counterintuitive, but we did it anyways. 16 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,520 That's a Goldweave wedding for you. 17 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:45,719 That's right. 18 00:00:45,719 --> 00:00:48,760 Kavlaran, you, some time ago, 19 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:52,320 well before the bridal party had come back in, 20 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:56,320 had gone looking for your father's fourth wife. 21 00:00:56,399 --> 00:01:00,560 Dame Corvella, who you saw enter 22 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,799 from her distinct attire, which was all black, 23 00:01:04,799 --> 00:01:09,799 big, long, wide brimmed hat, black veil of her own. 24 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:14,280 I mean, there was an air of coolness as it entered, 25 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,519 and by coolness, I mean coldness. 26 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,719 You've disappeared down the hallway 27 00:01:19,719 --> 00:01:22,560 and you can't find her anywhere. 28 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:27,600 You've headed back out towards the seating area. 29 00:01:28,519 --> 00:01:31,120 You see that everybody's kind of milling back in, 30 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:34,960 but you know, there's a bit of tension within you. 31 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:37,359 You catch your father's eye and he looks over to you 32 00:01:37,359 --> 00:01:39,599 and gives a smile and another thumbs up, 33 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:41,120 like things going, oh. 34 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:44,960 Given the old neck, not good sign. 35 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:49,960 Yeah, he leans over to his new bride, Guendevere, 36 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:51,960 and you see him whisper something 37 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,920 and he excuses himself and gets up and comes over to you 38 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:58,480 and says, what seems to be the problem? 39 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:02,200 She is here somewhere. 40 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:03,280 Somewhere. 41 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:06,360 Somewhere, not sure where, lost her. 42 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,840 It's not a large place, Kvlarne, what happened? 43 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,879 Well, you see, I was, oh, by the way, 44 00:02:11,879 --> 00:02:14,280 Mom, Eloan, and Lady Emma are all like a team now, 45 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:15,879 so that's a thing you're gonna have to deal with. 46 00:02:15,879 --> 00:02:17,560 Anyway, moving on. 47 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:20,879 I saw her come in and I was busy with the team, 48 00:02:21,359 --> 00:02:23,319 team X mom. 49 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:25,120 Yes, yes. 50 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:27,919 And I saw her come in and then she kind of disappeared 51 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:29,639 into the back and I went and looked for her, 52 00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:31,599 but I can't find her anywhere. 53 00:02:31,599 --> 00:02:34,519 Great, well, we'll all keep our heads on a swivel. 54 00:02:36,719 --> 00:02:39,800 Nothing good comes when she disappears. 55 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:40,879 How did she look? 56 00:02:40,879 --> 00:02:44,639 Did she come dressed appropriately for the wedding? 57 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:49,159 Funny story, totally dressed in black 58 00:02:49,159 --> 00:02:51,520 with a huge hat with a black veil on it. 59 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,240 Yeah, no, that's what I completely expected. 60 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:57,400 So I guess she's dressed appropriately then. 61 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:58,960 Yeah, no, 100%. 62 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,840 I'm glad she took that to heart 63 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:04,000 and that's how she came. 64 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,519 All right, well, you let me know if you find her 65 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:07,359 and I will do the same. 66 00:03:07,359 --> 00:03:10,000 I'll give you a signal, signal, signal, signal, 67 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,879 like a caca, caca, tuky, tuky. 68 00:03:11,879 --> 00:03:13,359 I think it's perfect. 69 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:16,719 Perfect, absolutely the best choice of action there. 70 00:03:16,719 --> 00:03:18,599 That's what we did when you were a kid 71 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,560 and it's what we will do today. 72 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:25,079 So if it's looking bad with, what did you call them? 73 00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:27,159 The X squad, X team? 74 00:03:27,159 --> 00:03:29,079 I call them like the X moms. 75 00:03:29,079 --> 00:03:31,959 X moms, X moms, I like that. 76 00:03:31,959 --> 00:03:34,000 So the X moms, 77 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,799 if they look like they're getting unruly 78 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:40,799 or we see Corvela making a move for any cutlery? 79 00:03:43,039 --> 00:03:45,039 Any cutlery? Sure, sure. 80 00:03:45,039 --> 00:03:46,599 Question for you, just, 81 00:03:46,639 --> 00:03:48,039 because I see there's like a couple, 82 00:03:48,039 --> 00:03:50,680 like kind of balconies up across the way. 83 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:52,639 How good of a shot is she? 84 00:03:52,639 --> 00:03:53,840 Just out of curiosity. 85 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,840 Well, she did, she was, you know, 86 00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:01,400 top of the, top of her class. 87 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,000 Cool, that's great info to have. 88 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,439 Yeah, she doesn't have any problems with you. 89 00:04:07,439 --> 00:04:10,879 We did reinforce the glass here. 90 00:04:10,879 --> 00:04:13,799 It is a lot of glass, this is, 91 00:04:13,799 --> 00:04:16,319 but I mean, you saw her come into the building. 92 00:04:17,079 --> 00:04:19,959 So why would she be across the street? 93 00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:22,319 That's not, that's not something that people do 94 00:04:22,319 --> 00:04:24,719 is come in to distract and then leave. 95 00:04:24,719 --> 00:04:27,000 Look, I mean, you always called her a witch. 96 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,839 Does she, like, can she do magic stuff? 97 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:30,319 I didn't always call her a witch. 98 00:04:30,319 --> 00:04:31,800 I called her a witch. Okay, at the end, 99 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,959 you always referred to her as a witch. 100 00:04:33,959 --> 00:04:34,879 She was a loving, 101 00:04:34,879 --> 00:04:37,039 Is there any fact in that? 102 00:04:39,039 --> 00:04:40,639 I don't think so. 103 00:04:40,639 --> 00:04:42,879 She did have a lot of, 104 00:04:42,879 --> 00:04:44,920 Let's see why you guys didn't make it. 105 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:47,199 She did have a lot of pots. 106 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:48,759 Don't know a thing about her. 107 00:04:50,759 --> 00:04:51,879 She had a lot of pots. 108 00:04:51,879 --> 00:04:53,280 She had a lot of pots. 109 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:56,600 She made a lot of brews, a lot of stews. 110 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,600 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 111 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,439 So, you know, thinking back on it. 112 00:04:59,439 --> 00:05:01,200 Were there a lot of jars with names like 113 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,000 Eye of Newt and stuff like that? 114 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,040 There were a lot of jars, 115 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,879 I couldn't necessarily- Coriander. 116 00:05:08,879 --> 00:05:10,080 Cilantro. 117 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,080 I didn't know the names of all of them 118 00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:16,719 or read all the languages that they were in. 119 00:05:16,719 --> 00:05:18,359 Oh, they were different languages. 120 00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:22,120 It was international cuisine that she made most often. 121 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,839 Okay, in like a big soup pot? 122 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:26,079 Yeah, it was large. 123 00:05:26,079 --> 00:05:29,399 Yeah, like, are you saying like cauldron? 124 00:05:29,399 --> 00:05:30,319 Is that the word you're looking for? 125 00:05:30,319 --> 00:05:32,519 Cauldron, that's the word I was looking for. 126 00:05:32,519 --> 00:05:34,439 She had a lot of definitely a witch then. 127 00:05:34,439 --> 00:05:35,279 That's great. 128 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:37,039 This is just, it keeps getting better. 129 00:05:37,039 --> 00:05:38,719 Yeah, no, you're doing a great job. 130 00:05:38,719 --> 00:05:40,599 I love this for you. 131 00:05:40,599 --> 00:05:42,079 Hey, have you seen Gary? 132 00:05:42,079 --> 00:05:44,479 He's supposed to start the speeches. 133 00:05:44,479 --> 00:05:46,240 You need to keep track of Gary. 134 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:48,079 Look, I realize- 135 00:05:48,079 --> 00:05:48,919 Yeah, Cav. 136 00:05:50,159 --> 00:05:51,199 Thank you. 137 00:05:51,199 --> 00:05:52,079 No, you're right. 138 00:05:52,079 --> 00:05:54,159 I gave you four people to keep track of. 139 00:05:54,159 --> 00:05:56,240 I just need to keep track of Gary and- 140 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:57,079 Thank you. 141 00:05:57,079 --> 00:05:59,000 And my wife. 142 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,000 Where is she? 143 00:06:00,879 --> 00:06:04,479 Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast 144 00:06:04,479 --> 00:06:07,199 and I'm your dungeon master, Russ More, He-Him. 145 00:06:07,199 --> 00:06:09,039 Also with me today is Tom Laird 146 00:06:09,039 --> 00:06:11,279 as Kavlaran Goldweave, He-Him. 147 00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:12,120 Got him. 148 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,440 Got him, found Gary. 149 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:14,320 Gary's here now. 150 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,120 Carla Maxted as Lady Marison the First. 151 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,440 This is actually pathetic. 152 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,600 I can see why you don't care anymore. 153 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,600 Amy More as Eloin the Second. 154 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:23,920 This is my time. 155 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:27,000 And Kyle Claset as Baroness Yiselle the Third. 156 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:27,880 Oh, no, no, no. 157 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,480 You're not getting out of it that easily. 158 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,440 Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon supported podcast 159 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,000 and we'd love for you to join us today 160 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,200 at patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast. 161 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,840 You'll get a seven day free trial to check things out. 162 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:41,880 And now let's get right to it. 163 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,320 Fuck it, let's play. 164 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:46,400 Where is she? 165 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,280 And he turns and looks and Eloin, 166 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:50,160 you're standing right there. 167 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,520 Oh, hi, Eloin. 168 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:53,440 Lovely to see you. 169 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,400 Thank you for coming today. 170 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,120 You should try the pastries. 171 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:57,960 I'm gonna- 172 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:58,800 Do you have a minute? 173 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,400 Oh, we are about ready to start some speeches. 174 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,440 Yeah, we're a little bit behind schedule here, Eloin. 175 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,000 This'll just take a minute. 176 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,600 We're just gonna have to hold that for the end. 177 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,080 All the questions will be held 178 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,359 for the end of the event. 179 00:07:10,359 --> 00:07:11,639 Don't let him deny you. 180 00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:13,519 Say what you need to say. 181 00:07:13,519 --> 00:07:15,159 Oh, that's emboldening. 182 00:07:15,159 --> 00:07:17,839 I see you've all decided to- 183 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:20,319 Well, we have a lot in common. 184 00:07:20,319 --> 00:07:22,000 Yes, no, you do. 185 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,879 I have no disagreement. 186 00:07:23,879 --> 00:07:24,719 Yes, of course. 187 00:07:24,719 --> 00:07:27,839 I have some time. 188 00:07:27,839 --> 00:07:29,199 I haven't found Gary yet. 189 00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:31,399 Gary's the one to be the emcee, 190 00:07:31,399 --> 00:07:34,959 so if we don't find Gary, we can't. 191 00:07:34,959 --> 00:07:37,560 He gives like a wink to you, Cav, 192 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,560 and you'll be like, maybe you find Gary. 193 00:07:40,839 --> 00:07:43,199 So you're stepping on my foot repeatedly, 194 00:07:43,199 --> 00:07:44,759 like, find Gary. 195 00:07:44,759 --> 00:07:46,680 He's not finding Gary. 196 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,439 But now he's connecting find Gary 197 00:07:48,439 --> 00:07:50,600 to fix this wife situation, 198 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,639 so now it's back in his court. 199 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:53,840 Yeah, that's true. 200 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,399 Oh, he's a sneaky one. 201 00:07:55,399 --> 00:07:56,240 Smooth operator. 202 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:57,920 He's a manipulator. 203 00:07:57,920 --> 00:07:59,720 Light bulb goes off. 204 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:03,120 Cav scuttles away to try to find this fucking Gary. 205 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,879 All right, you've dispersed. 206 00:08:04,879 --> 00:08:05,879 You're gonna go find Gary 207 00:08:05,879 --> 00:08:07,519 and keep an eye out for Corvela. 208 00:08:09,719 --> 00:08:10,560 Why? 209 00:08:13,639 --> 00:08:14,480 Why? 210 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,519 What happened between us? 211 00:08:18,519 --> 00:08:19,839 Well, Eleon, 212 00:08:21,399 --> 00:08:24,240 sometimes two people 213 00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:28,120 no longer see eye to eye, 214 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:29,839 and drift apart. 215 00:08:30,759 --> 00:08:33,360 I fear that's what happened with us. 216 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,360 What do you mean you fear that's what's happened with us? 217 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:41,560 Well, I'm a poet and I didn't know it. 218 00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:46,560 I appreciate you being here, Eleon. 219 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:50,120 We've discussed this many times. 220 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:51,560 No, we haven't. 221 00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:55,200 Well, at least once, I'm sure, right? 222 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,480 Yes, all that time together, 223 00:08:58,480 --> 00:08:59,480 and you're right. 224 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:00,960 I should be just satisfied 225 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,159 with that one conversation we had 226 00:09:03,159 --> 00:09:06,919 as to why you think 227 00:09:06,919 --> 00:09:08,719 that we're done. 228 00:09:08,719 --> 00:09:09,559 Well, 229 00:09:10,959 --> 00:09:12,279 yes. 230 00:09:12,279 --> 00:09:14,839 Well, I did think that we were done. 231 00:09:14,839 --> 00:09:16,759 I thought that perhaps, 232 00:09:18,039 --> 00:09:21,600 you know, you would be better off without me. 233 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:22,879 It's not you. Oh, please. 234 00:09:22,879 --> 00:09:24,000 It's me. Jeez. 235 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:24,839 Please. 236 00:09:24,839 --> 00:09:27,399 Obviously, it's you. You're embarrassing yourself. 237 00:09:27,399 --> 00:09:31,240 Obviously, we are at your fifth successful wedding. 238 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,079 If we could just keep our voices. 239 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,360 Oh, if we could just keep our voices, of course. 240 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,840 I appreciate that you RSVP'd. 241 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:39,680 What? 242 00:09:40,879 --> 00:09:41,840 What did I do wrong? 243 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:42,720 I can change. 244 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:43,560 Nothing. 245 00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:44,400 No. 246 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:45,480 You don't have to do that. 247 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:46,960 You don't have to change. 248 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,600 Nothing to change. 249 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:49,440 He's terrible. 250 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:50,280 I'm terrible. 251 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:51,120 Do you need to change your drink out 252 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,200 and I switch the drinks? 253 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,040 Yes. 254 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,920 How are we enjoying the specialty? 255 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:57,759 Oh, no, no. 256 00:09:57,759 --> 00:09:59,320 You're not getting out of it that easily. 257 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:00,160 Yeah, no. 258 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:01,000 Also, it's gross. 259 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,040 Back on topic. 260 00:10:03,039 --> 00:10:06,159 If our love didn't mean anything to you, just say it. 261 00:10:06,159 --> 00:10:08,120 Our love did mean. 262 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:08,959 No. Yes. 263 00:10:08,959 --> 00:10:11,399 Because when love is real, 264 00:10:11,399 --> 00:10:16,399 you can give somebody a good enough answer 265 00:10:16,399 --> 00:10:19,399 so that they are not tearing themselves apart 266 00:10:19,399 --> 00:10:24,240 every single day through countless weddings. 267 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:25,199 You know what? 268 00:10:25,199 --> 00:10:26,919 I'm sorry. One of these times, 269 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,079 I'm not gonna show up to your wedding. 270 00:10:33,039 --> 00:10:37,639 She bustles away in a big swirl of her skirt. 271 00:10:37,639 --> 00:10:39,279 Swirl is a word now. 272 00:10:39,279 --> 00:10:40,120 That's right. 273 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,799 Cav comes running back in with Garry, 274 00:10:43,799 --> 00:10:45,559 fireman carried over his shoulder 275 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:47,120 and dumps him in front. 276 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:47,959 Got him. 277 00:10:47,959 --> 00:10:48,799 Got him. 278 00:10:48,799 --> 00:10:49,639 Found Garry. 279 00:10:49,639 --> 00:10:50,559 Garry's here now. 280 00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:51,959 Lovely to see you, Garry. 281 00:10:51,959 --> 00:10:54,120 We're just having a word with Harrison. 282 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,480 It'll just be a moment. 283 00:10:56,639 --> 00:11:01,199 Garry, if you could please prepare the speeches. 284 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:02,520 I... 285 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,680 Congratulations on being promoted to best man. 286 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:05,520 Good for you. 287 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:06,360 Oh, thanks. 288 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:07,200 Good job. 289 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,040 Yeah, I know. 290 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:08,879 Sometimes a demotion. 291 00:11:08,879 --> 00:11:09,720 Sometimes you get back up and... 292 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:10,720 Garry, go get Garry. 293 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:11,560 No, yeah, no. 294 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:12,640 Of course, I have one job. 295 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:13,600 I'm gonna go do it. 296 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,120 And he heads off. 297 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:15,960 Look, I... 298 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,360 It's a part-time job. 299 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,040 He's right in it. 300 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:20,879 Splish it. 301 00:11:20,879 --> 00:11:22,280 Semi-pro best man. 302 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,160 He also works for him. 303 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:27,360 He's been working his way up the company ladder 304 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,440 every time somebody dies. 305 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:30,280 I... 306 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,240 Are a coward. 307 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:34,080 Am a coward. 308 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:34,920 And... 309 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:35,760 Yes. 310 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,680 I don't know if I have... 311 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,080 An honest bone in your body. 312 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:41,920 Thank you. 313 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:45,600 A spine to say what you mean when you're... 314 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:50,600 A good enough explanation for why I love the way I do. 315 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:51,800 It's... 316 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,280 Poorly. 317 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:54,120 Yeah. 318 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:54,960 Yes. 319 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:55,880 I'm surprised I have a kid from you 320 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,400 considering the lack of balls. 321 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:01,640 Okay. 322 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:04,600 Ellen's over at the bar, but she even heard that 323 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,360 and was like, damn! 324 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,200 Snap! 325 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,520 All you hear is like, yes, queen! 326 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,000 In the background. 327 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:18,000 I owe you more than what I've given you. 328 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:20,320 I do. 329 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:21,160 All of you. 330 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,160 And looks over to Ellen. 331 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,920 I know that, and I am sorry. 332 00:12:26,599 --> 00:12:28,240 I loved... 333 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:29,599 This is actually pathetic. 334 00:12:29,599 --> 00:12:32,240 I can see why you don't care anymore. 335 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:33,079 Exactly. 336 00:12:33,959 --> 00:12:34,799 Exactly. 337 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:41,319 Every conversation like this has happened, you know, 338 00:12:41,319 --> 00:12:45,039 after we split, picking up Cav, dropping him off. 339 00:12:45,039 --> 00:12:47,519 Oh, you must have had to deal with him constantly. 340 00:12:47,519 --> 00:12:49,000 I'm so sorry. 341 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:49,839 It wasn't even... 342 00:12:49,839 --> 00:12:51,879 Co-parenting with him? 343 00:12:51,879 --> 00:12:53,159 Exactly. 344 00:12:53,159 --> 00:12:55,079 Oh, I dodged a bullet. 345 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:55,920 You did. 346 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,360 You absolutely did. 347 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,280 Oh, I'm so glad Four's here. 348 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,879 Where's Four? 349 00:13:00,879 --> 00:13:02,720 It's a great question. 350 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:04,040 At that, you turn and look, 351 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,400 and like, Harrison was there for the... 352 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:09,320 You did, but then you look for Corvela 353 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,160 and don't see her, and he's... 354 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:12,000 Of course. 355 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:12,960 Back at the head table. 356 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,680 He is a coward, as you can see. 357 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:15,520 100%. 358 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:16,879 This is not surprising. 359 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:19,879 You hear Gary, like, tap the microphone. 360 00:13:19,879 --> 00:13:24,200 The microphone. 361 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,360 The thing that's right in front of your face? 362 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:27,200 The... 363 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:34,039 Sorry, this is the best word to forget. 364 00:13:34,039 --> 00:13:36,840 The one my whole life has revolved around for 20 years. 365 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:37,679 I got it. 366 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:40,200 It's not our glass, let's get it together. 367 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:44,080 You hear Gary tap the microphone, 368 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,279 he says, if everybody can take their seats, 369 00:13:46,279 --> 00:13:47,519 we're gonna start some speeches. 370 00:13:47,519 --> 00:13:49,519 And it looks as if, well, 371 00:13:50,159 --> 00:13:51,720 we have the usual, the best man's speech, 372 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,759 which, he kind of covers it. 373 00:13:54,759 --> 00:13:56,840 Am I doing it, or is Cav doing it? 374 00:13:58,279 --> 00:14:00,799 Cav's already done one tonight, I guess. 375 00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:03,840 I guess you, Harrison shrugs. 376 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:07,159 So, the best man's speech, and then it says here 377 00:14:07,159 --> 00:14:09,559 that we're supposed to just pass the microphone around 378 00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:11,399 to anybody who has things to say. 379 00:14:11,399 --> 00:14:13,559 Oh, Eloan Perks, up. 380 00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:16,559 So, take your seats, just, you know, 381 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:18,559 find a buddy, grab another drink, 382 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:19,960 and we'll start in just a moment. 383 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:23,240 Dad, dad, who planned this wedding? 384 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,000 Gwendovere. 385 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:26,840 Benny Benson. 386 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:30,000 When Gwendovere got together with Benny, 387 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,320 and they just went to town and said... 388 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,920 You know, ever since Benny split from the Jets, 389 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,760 hasn't been the same. 390 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:38,600 It's really gone off book, yeah. 391 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,440 Everybody grabs some food, and they grab their drinks, 392 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,480 and everybody sits down, and Gary gets back up to speak, 393 00:14:45,519 --> 00:14:47,920 and he says, well, I've known, 394 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:51,720 I've known Harrison for three weddings now. 395 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:54,560 Me too. 396 00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:58,440 Thank you, Yuzel. 397 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,720 Yes, yes, it was a lovely day, 398 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:06,720 and Harrison's given the same stop now hand signal. 399 00:15:08,039 --> 00:15:09,440 But we're gonna move right along. 400 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:14,440 Harrison's a great friend who treats his friends like, 401 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,080 well, like they're the best man, 402 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:22,360 and look, he's a guy, he's a complicated man, 403 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:26,560 and I've run out of nice things to say, sir, 404 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,400 and yeah, he works for me. 405 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,240 I have one nice thing to say. 406 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:31,080 One. 407 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:34,680 Which was, he's a complicated man. 408 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:35,520 Yes. 409 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:36,360 Yeah. 410 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:41,040 You know what, I was demoted. 411 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:44,000 Kavlaran, perhaps you would like to take over. 412 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,759 I'd love to, Gare, thanks, thanks, bud. 413 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,360 Have all of the controls. 414 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:53,200 Welcome to the middle. 415 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:54,679 You can do whatever you want. 416 00:15:54,679 --> 00:15:56,240 In the middle, it's whatever you want. 417 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:57,080 Welcome to the middle. 418 00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,000 Russ just declared that he has all of the controls, 419 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,200 so nobody else is in control. 420 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,440 That's right, no. 421 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:03,759 I mean, if you're playing the home game, 422 00:16:03,759 --> 00:16:06,240 you know he's had all the controls the whole time. 423 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:07,080 Obviously. 424 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:07,919 So it's fine. 425 00:16:07,919 --> 00:16:08,740 That's right. 426 00:16:08,740 --> 00:16:10,120 But also, he's married to me, so he. 427 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:11,879 Really, this has been Amy's long con 428 00:16:11,879 --> 00:16:14,439 to have this game run. 429 00:16:14,439 --> 00:16:15,279 That's right. 430 00:16:15,279 --> 00:16:17,600 This is just a project that Amy wanted to do 431 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:21,159 that Russ has been enacting for the last 10 years. 432 00:16:21,159 --> 00:16:22,000 I love it. 433 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,320 I mean, sounds like me. 434 00:16:26,879 --> 00:16:29,879 How many podcasts can I give him to make? 435 00:16:29,879 --> 00:16:31,799 I guess I owe him maybe $10. 436 00:16:36,399 --> 00:16:39,000 To trading places, here's your dollar. 437 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:43,240 This middle that you're listening to 438 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,320 is in this episode that you're listening to, 439 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,620 which comes out at the start of our Patreon sale, 440 00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:50,240 or very close there too. 441 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:52,519 So right now, when you visit patreon.com 442 00:16:52,519 --> 00:16:54,259 slash dumb dragging cast, 443 00:16:54,259 --> 00:16:57,720 you can save 50% off your first month 444 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,519 or your first year membership, 445 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:05,039 all in celebration of our very own Carla Maxton. 446 00:17:05,039 --> 00:17:07,599 Not really, but that's pretty exciting. 447 00:17:07,799 --> 00:17:09,079 50% off a year? 448 00:17:09,079 --> 00:17:09,919 That's a great deal. 449 00:17:09,919 --> 00:17:10,740 Yeah, that's really good. 450 00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:11,579 That's crazy. 451 00:17:11,579 --> 00:17:12,399 Do it, I know. 452 00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:13,480 Does that make them a member? 453 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:14,319 Well, yeah. 454 00:17:14,319 --> 00:17:16,240 I mean, I already had every record, 455 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:17,359 but should I? 456 00:17:18,319 --> 00:17:19,159 Now's the time. 457 00:17:19,159 --> 00:17:20,000 Now's the time. 458 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:20,819 What's the time? 459 00:17:20,819 --> 00:17:21,659 That's wild. 460 00:17:21,659 --> 00:17:25,119 You're gonna save boatloads by just signing up today. 461 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:28,079 Yeah, Carla, you're being very humble. 462 00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:30,319 We actually, listeners, we actually asked Carla, 463 00:17:30,319 --> 00:17:31,839 what do you want for your birthday? 464 00:17:31,839 --> 00:17:33,439 And Carla was like, 465 00:17:33,439 --> 00:17:36,639 give a discount to our sweet, sweet patrons. 466 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:37,920 Very altruistic. 467 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:39,520 Very altruistic, absolutely. 468 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,759 I want more of them to join us 469 00:17:41,759 --> 00:17:44,480 and see how dumb we are. 470 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,320 There you go. 471 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:49,440 The world deserves to know just how dumb we are. 472 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:54,440 You deserve to know how this sounds unedited. 473 00:17:54,759 --> 00:17:56,920 Yeah, one hundo. 474 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,920 There are some things that still get cut out. 475 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,880 We're pretty good now, 476 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,860 but yeah, no, there's still some wild stuff 477 00:18:02,860 --> 00:18:04,120 that doesn't make it fair. 478 00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:05,960 Yeah. 479 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:06,840 I believe it. 480 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,559 But if you've been thinking about it, 481 00:18:08,559 --> 00:18:10,039 that's a good deal. 482 00:18:10,039 --> 00:18:11,680 Even if you just wanna dip in for the month 483 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:15,200 and listen to some bonus content, that'd be great. 484 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:16,319 And even if you do that whole month, 485 00:18:16,319 --> 00:18:18,519 you still get that one sweet bonus 486 00:18:18,519 --> 00:18:22,680 that everybody gets whenever you sign up for a Patreon. 487 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,840 And that's a monthly, that's an episode dedication. 488 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:26,680 Yeah, that's right. 489 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,079 Yeah, we've got a special one right now 490 00:18:28,079 --> 00:18:30,360 and we can get so many more with this sale coming up. 491 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:33,120 Carla, thank you again for being so altruistic. 492 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,039 But now we're gonna have them lined up 493 00:18:35,079 --> 00:18:36,720 for way through 2030, 494 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,319 which means we can't stop doing the podcast 495 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,799 until we get through those names. 496 00:18:40,799 --> 00:18:45,799 So looks like you owe Amy 20 bucks. 497 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,039 Commitment. 498 00:18:49,759 --> 00:18:50,599 That's right. 499 00:18:50,599 --> 00:18:51,839 And yeah, don't wait till my birthday. 500 00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,720 My deal's not gonna be as good as Carla's. 501 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,700 I am not as nice as she is. 502 00:18:55,700 --> 00:18:57,680 So you should probably get in on it now. 503 00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,240 Fair. Y'all are giving out deals too? 504 00:19:02,399 --> 00:19:03,599 Untrue. 505 00:19:03,599 --> 00:19:04,440 I'm killing Jesser. 506 00:19:04,759 --> 00:19:06,480 You know who's got the best deal right now? 507 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:07,519 Who's got the best deal? 508 00:19:07,519 --> 00:19:09,360 Who's got the best deal of the month? 509 00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:12,160 The best deal of the month is what we're talking about 510 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:14,279 when you get that Patreon dedication. 511 00:19:14,279 --> 00:19:17,920 Today's patron, the fashionable wizard. 512 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,039 How delightful and elegant. 513 00:19:22,039 --> 00:19:26,400 I wish the fashionable wizard had a 50% off sale. 514 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:27,240 Oh my God. 515 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:31,960 The capes I would buy, the hats, the jeweled items. 516 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,680 My wand would be huge. 517 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,360 That's not the only sale we have going on 518 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:37,960 for fashionable people though, is it Russ? 519 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:38,799 It is not. 520 00:19:38,799 --> 00:19:39,640 You are correct. 521 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,480 Oh, well how apropos that the fashionable wizard. 522 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,200 If you're a fashionable wizard, 523 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:47,400 you need to bedeck yourself in some high class items. 524 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:50,000 Wait. Bedeck? 525 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:50,840 Yes, that's correct. 526 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,039 You need to bedeck yourself. 527 00:19:53,039 --> 00:19:54,240 Bedecked, bedazzled. 528 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:57,519 I'm not even gonna, I can't even look it up. 529 00:19:57,519 --> 00:19:59,320 I'm not gonna disrespect Carla like that. 530 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:00,519 Bedeck is a thing. 531 00:20:00,519 --> 00:20:02,960 You've never got into bedeckery? 532 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,200 I've never bedecked. 533 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:08,120 Bedeck yourself and save some money in our dashery store, 534 00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:11,400 dumbdragons.dashery.com, 535 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:15,000 where you can save a percentage off of different items. 536 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,200 Like a t-shirt is how much usually? 537 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,279 $22. 538 00:20:18,279 --> 00:20:19,360 And now it's gonna be. 539 00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:20,680 $16. 540 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:21,519 Whoa. 541 00:20:21,519 --> 00:20:22,360 That's a hell of a bedecking. 542 00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:23,279 Good deal. 543 00:20:23,279 --> 00:20:24,920 That's a pretty great deal. 544 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:26,160 We got some old school looks. 545 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,039 We got some new school looks. 546 00:20:28,039 --> 00:20:29,559 Also guys, I looked it up real quick. 547 00:20:29,559 --> 00:20:31,920 Bedeck is a word, not crazy. 548 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,000 No, I knew I wasn't even gonna question it. 549 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,840 I questioned myself. 550 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,240 It's just, it's not very commonplace. 551 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:40,680 What if I told you that the kids are saying it? 552 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:41,519 They're not. 553 00:20:41,519 --> 00:20:42,360 Oh god. 554 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:43,200 You know what? 555 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,039 The kids are saying it. 556 00:20:44,039 --> 00:20:46,880 I don't trust them, okay? 557 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,240 Bedecking slaps, guys, is what I'm saying. 558 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:50,080 Love it. 559 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,200 So be like the fashionable wizard 560 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,759 and sign up at patreon.com. 561 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:55,840 Yeah. That's what it is. 562 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,039 Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast 563 00:20:58,039 --> 00:21:00,279 where right now you can save 50% off your first month 564 00:21:00,279 --> 00:21:01,480 or year. 565 00:21:02,279 --> 00:21:04,160 And then just head on over to our dashery store 566 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:05,759 and get yourself some sweet, sweet merch 567 00:21:05,759 --> 00:21:09,640 that you can show off to all the other cool kids 568 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:10,559 that hang out. 569 00:21:10,559 --> 00:21:11,400 In our Discord. 570 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:12,240 In your neck of the woods. 571 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:13,079 Or in real life. 572 00:21:13,079 --> 00:21:13,920 Or in real life. 573 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:15,000 We need to be fashionable. 574 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:15,839 Yep. 575 00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:16,680 All those great things. 576 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:17,519 Thanks for being here with us. 577 00:21:17,519 --> 00:21:18,360 They're gonna save so much money. 578 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:19,200 Save money on the account. 579 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,120 Save money on the clothes. 580 00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:21,920 They can go buy bubble gum afterwards. 581 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:22,759 Yeah, love it. 582 00:21:22,759 --> 00:21:23,599 Happy birthday, Carla. 583 00:21:23,599 --> 00:21:24,519 Thanks, friends. 584 00:21:24,519 --> 00:21:26,240 Happy birthday, Carla. 585 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,759 And if you do sign up, thank you so much for signing up. 586 00:21:29,799 --> 00:21:32,200 Or can't sign up, zero pressure. 587 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:33,839 You're still here listening to us 588 00:21:33,839 --> 00:21:34,680 and that is thanks. 589 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:35,519 Love it. 590 00:21:35,519 --> 00:21:36,640 This middle's been forever. 591 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,759 So you're a trooper, thanks. 592 00:21:38,759 --> 00:21:39,599 Yeah. 593 00:21:39,599 --> 00:21:40,440 We want you here. 594 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,240 Your finger got tired from hitting that skip button 595 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,839 and now we get to say goodbye and we love you. 596 00:21:46,079 --> 00:21:46,920 We love you. 597 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,119 Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast. 598 00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:48,960 We got you again. 599 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:49,799 Bye. 600 00:21:49,799 --> 00:21:50,640 Love you, bye. 601 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:51,480 Bye. 602 00:21:52,839 --> 00:21:53,680 You know what? 603 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:54,519 Let's just do that thing 604 00:21:54,519 --> 00:21:55,759 where you're gonna pass the mic around. 605 00:21:55,759 --> 00:21:57,160 I'm into it now. 606 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:58,759 Sounds like a great plan. 607 00:21:58,759 --> 00:22:00,160 Who wants first dibs? 608 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:03,359 Oh, Eloin, the back. 609 00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:06,519 There's a few people who stand up 610 00:22:06,519 --> 00:22:07,960 as you're putting your hand up 611 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,440 and are moving towards the microphone, Eloin. 612 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:11,519 What do you do? 613 00:22:11,519 --> 00:22:14,559 All right, Lordbucket, we're gonna go with you 614 00:22:14,559 --> 00:22:16,640 and then Eloin, you'll be next. 615 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,279 Yes, Lordbucket here. 616 00:22:21,279 --> 00:22:22,879 Thank you for coming everybody 617 00:22:22,879 --> 00:22:25,720 from well as far away as Vintersmouth 618 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:30,000 and probably up in the Me Mountains there. 619 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:33,960 I was just there last week having just a grand old time. 620 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:37,079 We saw some wild fauna and flora 621 00:22:37,079 --> 00:22:40,120 and it was really quite an adventure 622 00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:43,039 and I think that's what I'm gonna do more of 623 00:22:43,039 --> 00:22:44,920 in these later years in my life. 624 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:46,799 A marriage is like a sunset. 625 00:22:46,799 --> 00:22:49,120 Tell us about your current grandson. 626 00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:54,120 Oh, have you heard about my grandson, Marklson? 627 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:58,320 He is really just the sunshine in my life. 628 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:02,080 And well, as I was getting back to the point, 629 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:07,080 I hear you, Ezell, I'm moving on, don't worry. 630 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:10,360 As I was saying, a marriage is like a sunset, sunrise. 631 00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:12,200 Things are good, things are bad, 632 00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:14,680 but you do it all together. 633 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,360 And well, if anybody wants to take a look 634 00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:19,840 at my slides after from the Me Mountains, 635 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,680 I will be showing them as well as a follow-up 636 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,200 group of photos of Marklson. 637 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,440 He should be making an appearance after his nap later. 638 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:32,519 If anybody wants to say hello, you come find him. 639 00:23:32,519 --> 00:23:37,519 All right, it's bold move to have a former wife here. 640 00:23:39,799 --> 00:23:40,640 Eloin? 641 00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:41,880 Four former wives. 642 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:43,240 Yes. 643 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:44,080 Thank you. 644 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:47,920 Love is important. 645 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:53,920 Marriage, she's had a few to drink now. 646 00:23:55,360 --> 00:24:00,360 Marriage is not a way to say I love you. 647 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,160 You look over to Harrison's face 648 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,880 and he's got a very quizzical look about him. 649 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:12,600 Like he didn't understand what you just said. 650 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,200 Of course he didn't. 651 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,039 He's stupid. 652 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:18,279 He's stupid. 653 00:24:21,519 --> 00:24:26,519 Marriage is supposed to be sharing 654 00:24:28,599 --> 00:24:33,599 with everybody you know, all your important people 655 00:24:36,319 --> 00:24:39,079 that you love someone so much. 656 00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,519 But that's all it is to you. 657 00:24:42,519 --> 00:24:47,519 All you want to do is flaunt a temporary love 658 00:24:47,759 --> 00:24:51,960 and spend ridiculous amounts of money. 659 00:24:52,839 --> 00:24:55,639 Think of the colleges you could have put Cav through. 660 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,079 Okay, Cav did go to college. 661 00:24:59,079 --> 00:25:01,720 I said colleges. 662 00:25:03,079 --> 00:25:03,920 Get it. 663 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,119 Sorry Cav, do you want to go to college? 664 00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:07,119 Is that what this is about? 665 00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:08,639 This is my time. 666 00:25:08,639 --> 00:25:10,639 It's a great, and actually speaking of that, 667 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,600 we've hit our three minute limit 668 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,160 so we'd like to move on. 669 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:15,200 We can come back to you. 670 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:19,280 Oh man, Bucket talked for like 17 minutes. 671 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:22,160 No, that's just, he's just the most boring person 672 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,480 in the world so it seemed like it was that long. 673 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:25,840 Listen. Let her talk. 674 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:29,040 All right, round two, Ellowin, let's do it. 675 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:34,040 Love is not just something that you put on like a costume 676 00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:37,600 and parade around in front of people. 677 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:42,600 Love is deep and love, and it hurts 678 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:48,600 and it makes you do crazy things. 679 00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:54,880 And you, ma'am, and she points to. 680 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:56,920 Gwendolyn. 681 00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:57,760 Gwendolyn. 682 00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:58,680 She points to Gwendolyn. 683 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:01,400 Points to Gwendolyn. 684 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:02,440 I love him. 685 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,360 But you can do better. 686 00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:09,960 Yeah, you can. 687 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,200 And then I drop the mic and I kind of stagger off 688 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:16,120 with my little bottle of brown liquor. 689 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:18,240 Okay, probably won't be getting the deposit back 690 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,160 for the AV equipment. 691 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:21,660 Not a problem though. 692 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,920 Lady Schneiderhound, you're up. 693 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:28,280 Cav, Lady Schneiderhound is giving her speech 694 00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:32,720 and you clock the silhouetted figure of Dame Corvela 695 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:34,640 who doesn't enter the room 696 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,759 but is just like standing off to the sides 697 00:26:37,759 --> 00:26:39,440 looking straight at you. 698 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:46,200 And then after Lady Schneiderhound kind of wraps things up 699 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:49,520 and there's a small clap for what she said at the end 700 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,280 which was all you need is love, da, da, da, da, da. 701 00:26:55,140 --> 00:26:55,980 She. 702 00:26:55,980 --> 00:26:57,640 No more than that because we don't want any 703 00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,400 litigious actors coming after us. 704 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:00,240 Exactly. 705 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,240 I'll take on Daphne, I won't take on the Beatles. 706 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,280 Fair. 707 00:27:03,319 --> 00:27:05,160 She heads back down the hallway. 708 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:09,039 You see her turn and like signal to you this time. 709 00:27:09,039 --> 00:27:13,879 Okay, that was the excellent Lady Schneiderhound. 710 00:27:13,879 --> 00:27:16,859 We're gonna throw it over to my dear sweet mother. 711 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:19,680 Take it away. 712 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:20,879 Welcome, take the mic. 713 00:27:20,879 --> 00:27:23,399 Thank you so much, my darling Cav. 714 00:27:23,399 --> 00:27:28,359 It is wonderful to be here to witness the third wedding 715 00:27:28,360 --> 00:27:33,360 of my only son's father and ex-husband Lord Harrison. 716 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:39,800 Is an absolute delight to be here to witness 717 00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:43,360 all of the great women that he's been with 718 00:27:43,360 --> 00:27:48,360 and the taste he has cultivated over the years 719 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:53,840 for younger and younger vintages of wine. 720 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:59,800 Vintages, so young, well, how young are they? 721 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,760 So young, they're still being pressed. 722 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:08,600 I don't know. 723 00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:09,440 He's not. 724 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:13,800 No, but. 725 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:17,320 He is just like, why'd I pick this analogy, damn it. 726 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:23,240 But truthfully, it's great to see another 727 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:27,720 lavish event to celebrate love, 728 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,960 and I can't wait for the next, 729 00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:32,720 what'd you say, Cav, where'd he go? 730 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,800 I think he said it's gonna be three more times. 731 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:35,900 Three more times. 732 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,040 And if they all do it right, 733 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:41,480 Ellowin, you're right, love does hurt, 734 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,240 and you can do some crazy things. 735 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:47,060 I'm sorry that you didn't do them in the fun places. 736 00:28:47,060 --> 00:28:48,680 And I leave the mic there. 737 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:53,520 It's an awkward clap through the crowd. 738 00:28:53,559 --> 00:28:56,720 Ellowin, ruckus, cheer. 739 00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:58,720 You look for Cavlarn, who, yeah, 740 00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:00,119 he's nowhere to be seen. 741 00:29:00,119 --> 00:29:01,680 You saw him sprint out the back. 742 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:03,319 Lady M, would you like to give a speech 743 00:29:03,319 --> 00:29:04,879 before we check in with Cavlarn? 744 00:29:04,879 --> 00:29:06,359 Why not? 745 00:29:06,359 --> 00:29:08,559 Well, nothing to say to you, 746 00:29:08,559 --> 00:29:10,599 Harrison, but Guinevere. 747 00:29:10,599 --> 00:29:11,680 You see him pull at his. 748 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:12,920 Welcome to the club. 749 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:13,759 Thank God. 750 00:29:13,759 --> 00:29:16,759 Welcome, welcome. 751 00:29:16,759 --> 00:29:18,720 You'll join us soon enough. 752 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,879 And I think we're quite a bit of fun. 753 00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:23,760 Let's do shot. 754 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:25,360 One of us. 755 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:26,200 One of us. 756 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:27,520 One of us. 757 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:29,000 One of us. 758 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:30,480 Goobel gobble. 759 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,280 All of you, you get up and move towards the bar. 760 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:37,200 There's a confused, like a bit of excitement 761 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:38,280 from some people, 762 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:39,960 cause they're not entirely sure 763 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,400 what the vibe is anymore. 764 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,520 Harrison's like pulling at his shirt collar, 765 00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:46,080 looking around for Cav. 766 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,400 Like you can't see you. 767 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,680 And Cavlarn, you had booked it down the hallway. 768 00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,040 You hear kind of the end of Yiselle's speech 769 00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:58,080 and Lady M get up and start speaking. 770 00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:01,200 And you're like looking in every door again. 771 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,320 And you get down to the very end of this hallway 772 00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:07,320 in this dimly lit room. 773 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:10,600 There's a couple of candles inside and you enter 774 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:14,080 and you see the same silhouette standing by a window. 775 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:16,680 Very clearly, Dame Corvella. 776 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:19,360 You've met her several times before. 777 00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:20,840 What'd you have to do? 778 00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:21,680 At least twice. 779 00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:22,720 At least twice, yeah. 780 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:25,200 Well, yeah, I mean, she would have 781 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,039 at least partially raised you, 782 00:30:28,039 --> 00:30:30,160 depending on the timing. 783 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:32,360 At least been there during a raising. 784 00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:33,200 Anyways. 785 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:37,039 She was your only technical step mom. 786 00:30:37,039 --> 00:30:37,880 True, true. 787 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,360 Yeah, we were like pre-step moms. 788 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:40,360 Yeah. 789 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:42,680 You enter and she doesn't say anything, 790 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:44,880 but you see her standing there. 791 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:46,360 What do you do? 792 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:49,320 How are we feeling today, Dame? 793 00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:54,320 She turns and with a coldness in her voice says Gavlarne. 794 00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:00,640 We're doing just fine today. 795 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:03,440 Good, good. 796 00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:06,520 Normally has a bit of a sneer about her, 797 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,320 but she doesn't this time. 798 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:11,040 Couldn't help but notice the attire. 799 00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:12,120 It's a bold choice. 800 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,040 I dressed for the occasion. 801 00:31:15,039 --> 00:31:16,960 It is a wedding. 802 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,559 Exactly. 803 00:31:18,559 --> 00:31:20,920 It's where love goes to die, Gavlarne. 804 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:22,519 Oh. 805 00:31:22,519 --> 00:31:24,000 Give her the mic. 806 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:24,839 Yes. 807 00:31:26,279 --> 00:31:27,119 Gavlarne. 808 00:31:27,119 --> 00:31:28,920 My lapel mic's been on the whole time. 809 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:30,119 Hey! 810 00:31:30,119 --> 00:31:31,799 Fucking lapel mics. 811 00:31:31,799 --> 00:31:33,519 Why did we put them on everybody? 812 00:31:33,519 --> 00:31:34,359 I don't know. 813 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:40,240 I have not come to give a speech. 814 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:41,559 Okay, that's probably good. 815 00:31:41,559 --> 00:31:42,920 Anything profound. 816 00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:47,920 I stayed quiet because noise makes liars sloppy. 817 00:31:48,519 --> 00:31:52,560 She sits down, folds her hands. 818 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,800 She says, come in, have a seat, close the door. 819 00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:00,160 Sure, yeah, I'll be right there. 820 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:03,279 The sound of the party, which has kind of picked up, 821 00:32:03,279 --> 00:32:04,759 people have stopped giving speeches 822 00:32:04,759 --> 00:32:05,640 and there's more just like, 823 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,039 shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot. 824 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,519 You close the door and which dims 825 00:32:11,519 --> 00:32:14,039 everything happening outside and says, 826 00:32:14,039 --> 00:32:19,039 your father believes he has simply been unlucky in love. 827 00:32:21,159 --> 00:32:24,799 Oh, well, we both know that's not the case though, right? 828 00:32:24,799 --> 00:32:26,039 No, of course not. 829 00:32:26,039 --> 00:32:28,960 It's not that he chooses poorly 830 00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:32,240 or that hearts are fragile things. 831 00:32:33,519 --> 00:32:36,639 The small humorless smile comes across her 832 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:41,800 very stoic face and that is not what happened. 833 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:46,440 She noticed you sat a little further away from her 834 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:49,920 and she gets up and pulls her chair closer to you. 835 00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:52,560 Not getting a threatening vibe, 836 00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:56,720 but she's coming over to you for certainty. 837 00:32:56,720 --> 00:33:01,720 She says, years ago, before you were grown, 838 00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:06,560 your father signed a document that he did not understand. 839 00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:08,480 I mean, I do not think that is the first 840 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:10,599 and only time that has happened, but please continue. 841 00:33:10,599 --> 00:33:15,240 No, yes, it was a civic agreement. 842 00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:16,079 You're right. 843 00:33:16,079 --> 00:33:17,319 He has signed many of them. 844 00:33:18,279 --> 00:33:21,519 It was a consolidation of authority, 845 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:26,319 something boring to him, you know, Harrison. 846 00:33:26,319 --> 00:33:27,159 Okay. 847 00:33:27,159 --> 00:33:29,759 Something men like him never read closely. 848 00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:35,200 She looks to you knowingly 849 00:33:36,759 --> 00:33:39,480 the words did not stay where he put them. 850 00:33:40,639 --> 00:33:45,639 They were taken, preserved, filed. 851 00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,399 I do a lot of filing in my job. 852 00:33:50,399 --> 00:33:53,200 Well, in my old, well, I didn't do it, 853 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:55,279 but like I was around while it was done. 854 00:33:55,279 --> 00:33:57,839 So I'm with you so far. 855 00:33:57,839 --> 00:34:01,559 She lifts the brim of her hat, even removes it. 856 00:34:01,559 --> 00:34:03,079 So you can see her eyes. 857 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:07,760 They were filed in the Weeping Archive. 858 00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,480 Oh shit, I've actually heard of that. 859 00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:15,280 Every marriage after that was not chaos. 860 00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:16,800 It was containment. 861 00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:20,800 Each wife placed near him by coincidence, 862 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,640 by council, by recommendation. 863 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:27,519 Families with scribes, record keepers, 864 00:34:27,519 --> 00:34:32,280 people who knew how to erase a just delay. 865 00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:36,639 He thought he was protecting himself. 866 00:34:36,639 --> 00:34:39,559 The Archive thought it was indexing him. 867 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:44,799 That's why he forgets things that matter. 868 00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,920 That's why records vanish. 869 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,639 And that's why Vintersmouth 870 00:34:51,639 --> 00:34:54,799 keeps surviving scandals it should not. 871 00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:01,279 Your father is not powerful, Kavlaran. 872 00:35:01,279 --> 00:35:02,440 He is footnoted. 873 00:35:03,759 --> 00:35:05,039 She stands up. 874 00:35:07,079 --> 00:35:10,360 I waited to see what kind of man you were before telling you. 875 00:35:11,639 --> 00:35:15,519 Whether you could carry truth without turning it into a weapon. 876 00:35:17,159 --> 00:35:19,480 Now you know where to look. 877 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:23,840 The Archive already knows who you are. 878 00:35:25,119 --> 00:35:27,239 She turns to leave. 879 00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:31,599 She opens the door and the sound of the party picks up again 880 00:35:31,679 --> 00:35:33,360 as the door opens. 881 00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:36,719 As she exits, she adds without turning back. 882 00:35:37,799 --> 00:35:41,759 If you ever read your father's name in ink that won't dry, 883 00:35:42,599 --> 00:35:45,559 don't touch the page. 884 00:35:48,759 --> 00:35:49,679 Okay, noted. 885 00:35:50,559 --> 00:35:53,599 She turns the corner. 886 00:35:53,599 --> 00:35:58,599 As you get up to follow her, she's gone down the hall. 887 00:35:58,759 --> 00:36:01,440 It's weird that every conversation I have with her is like this. 888 00:36:05,639 --> 00:36:09,559 Dumbgeons and Dragons, season four, episode 48, 889 00:36:09,639 --> 00:36:12,319 starring Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, 890 00:36:12,679 --> 00:36:15,360 Carla Maxted as Lady Marizon the first, 891 00:36:15,559 --> 00:36:17,839 Amy More as Elluin the second, 892 00:36:17,839 --> 00:36:20,799 Kyle Claset as Baroness Yselle the third 893 00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,199 and Russ More as your dungeon master. 894 00:36:23,319 --> 00:36:27,079 Dialogue, editing and sound design of today's episode is by Russ More. 895 00:36:27,119 --> 00:36:29,400 Our community manager is Jessica Babiak. 896 00:36:29,559 --> 00:36:33,559 Music is from Epidemic Sound and sound effects are from Epidemic Sound, 897 00:36:33,559 --> 00:36:35,679 Boom Library and Sound Ideas. 898 00:36:35,679 --> 00:36:38,279 Our amazing cover art is by Matt Garbutt. 899 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:40,840 A huge thank you to our supporting producers, 900 00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:45,039 Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak, Angaron Kierzen, Perry Matey, 901 00:36:45,159 --> 00:36:48,840 Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Old School Gamer D, 902 00:36:49,039 --> 00:36:54,079 Craig Zeiss, L.A. Branton, Chibs 1012 and Kudzu 828. 903 00:36:54,199 --> 00:36:57,599 Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon supported podcast, 904 00:36:57,599 --> 00:37:01,440 and all of our amazing community help make sure that we have adventures 905 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:03,519 for you every single week. 906 00:37:03,519 --> 00:37:04,480 Come join us today. 907 00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:06,559 Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast. 908 00:37:06,559 --> 00:37:10,880 We hope to see you over there and you have yourself right now. 909 00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:12,519 A great week. Yes. 910 00:37:12,519 --> 00:37:14,519 And we'll talk to you very, very soon. 911 00:37:14,519 --> 00:37:17,360 Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.