[0.0s] It's okay, you haven't missed it, the ceremony's about to begin, and Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin in just a moment.
[8.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast, and I'm your Dungeon Master, Russ More, HeHim.
[14.0s] Also with me today is Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, HeHim.
[18.0s] Hey mom, mom, this isn't where you're supposed to be sitting.
[22.0s] Carla Maxted as Lady Marison the First.
[24.0s] You're so sad. Come on, let's go have a drink.
[27.0s] Amy More as Eloin the Second.
[29.0s] So have they done marriage classes?
[32.0s] And Kyle Claset as Baroness Yselle the Third.
[35.0s] Here, let's go wash your hands off.
[37.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast, and we'd love for you to join us today at patreon.com slash DumbDragonCast.
[44.0s] You'll get a 7-day free trial to check things out.
[47.0s] And now, let's get right to it.
[49.0s] Fuck it, let's play!
[51.0s] The banquet hall is a buzz, as everybody's taking their seats getting ready for the ceremony.
[57.0s] The music is gently lifting, encouraging people to start to quiet down, and we move among the crowd.
[67.0s] Kavlaran, where have you placed yourself?
[70.0s] Well, I took a look at the seating chart and I actually didn't see a spot for me anywhere, which was both upsetting and about right.
[80.0s] So he's just kind of playing Rover at the moment.
[84.0s] He just drifts from table to table.
[86.0s] If there's an open seat, he'll go just hang out for a couple minutes until, you know, the person's back from the bathroom and he's off to the next seat.
[94.0s] Just filling it for the camera.
[96.0s] Making sure everything looks full.
[98.0s] You are in every picture.
[102.0s] Amazing.
[103.0s] Lady M?
[104.0s] Well, Lady M has found all of the highest status people and has joined with them.
[109.0s] These are all the lords and ladies, the zoomed-ins, the pet bros, the Balquins, everyone that she was brought up with and has known for many, many, many years.
[121.0s] So they're all together and chatting and catching up on life.
[126.0s] She has produced a few documents showing how unfairly she was treated in the dissolving of her marriage and the subsequent settlement.
[138.0s] But I mean, it's very it's she's doing it classily.
[141.0s] Of course.
[142.0s] Yeah.
[143.0s] Well, there's some people looking over these documents with some with some scowls on their face.
[148.0s] Yes.
[149.0s] Yeah. The narrative wasn't really to her favor.
[153.0s] We move over to Ellowin.
[155.0s] Where are you seated?
[156.0s] Are we is this like at the front with the bridesmaids?
[160.0s] Well, I mean, are we sitting down?
[164.0s] Like, what is the situation here?
[166.0s] Are we talking like pews aisle bridesides groom side?
[170.0s] Are we is it just more of like open table?
[175.0s] We know this is a fifth marriage.
[177.0s] They didn't quite put as much money into it.
[179.0s] Yeah.
[180.0s] Where are we?
[181.0s] Yeah.
[182.0s] No, there's definitely we said there were tables being moved around, but those I think were a little bit more off to the side.
[188.0s] So we do have rows of chairs.
[191.0s] There is loose bride side groom side, but everybody's encouraged to sit wherever they please.
[197.0s] So long as Kavlaran can keep eyes on everybody at all times.
[203.0s] I'm in the front row and I'm trying to catch the like the attention of the person who will be performing the wedding ceremony.
[217.0s] The officiant.
[218.0s] Yes.
[219.0s] Yes.
[220.0s] Wherever they might be.
[221.0s] I don't know.
[222.0s] Yeah.
[223.0s] Look, what are you doing to try and catch his attention?
[226.0s] Just like a little like.
[229.0s] Whoo.
[232.0s] He's just kind of shut up, Tom.
[237.0s] Go try and give him that cool high five that you have did.
[241.0s] That will get it'll get his attention.
[243.0s] You see him kind of look up and then back to his notes.
[248.0s] We're going to be beginning in just a moment.
[250.0s] Yes.
[251.0s] No, I know.
[252.0s] I know.
[253.0s] I know.
[254.0s] I just have I have a quick question.
[255.0s] OK.
[256.0s] Have you have you met with the bride and groom?
[257.0s] Oh, yes.
[258.0s] Yes.
[259.0s] It's a formal.
[260.0s] We do meet several times leading up to.
[263.0s] Oh, Catholic wedding.
[265.0s] Yeah.
[267.0s] Well, I don't like to just show up.
[269.0s] You know, I don't like to get to know him.
[271.0s] You know, play a game of like gin rummy.
[274.0s] You know, really set the stage for what they want.
[279.0s] So have they done marriage classes?
[282.0s] Like how how dedicated do you feel like this this engagement is?
[290.0s] He kind of pauses.
[293.0s] And are you going to be asking if anybody has anything to say?
[301.0s] That's kind of can see this happening.
[303.0s] And it's like frantically like getting through the crowd to get out there.
[308.0s] And like he kind of slides in.
[310.0s] So, hey, what are you guys talking about?
[312.0s] Well, every wedding's different.
[315.0s] Your dad would know.
[317.0s] But I was wondering if this was going to be just a traditional, you know, ceremony or.
[325.0s] Well, you know what?
[326.0s] You know what?
[327.0s] You know, what's fun, Elwin, is maybe we just like experience as it happens
[331.0s] and we just like drink it all in while it's happening,
[334.0s] because like not knowing is part of like the fun, right?
[339.0s] And on that confused look, we transition over to Yselle.
[343.0s] Like, I think that's I think you're talking about a birthday present.
[349.0s] Not a wedding.
[351.0s] Not a wedding.
[352.0s] Where's where's Yselle and what's Yselle up to?
[354.0s] Yselle has clocked a bridesmaid and her spouse.
[360.0s] And now that they've started separating off for the bridesmaid to be with the bridal party,
[365.0s] I've sat myself next to him and I am openly flirting with him in hopes of upsetting her.
[372.0s] Get it, girl.
[373.0s] All right.
[374.0s] I like your and my goal.
[377.0s] Yeah, it's literally to like make her mad.
[381.0s] You sidle up to this gentleman like in it so you can still be seen as this is happening.
[390.0s] Yeah.
[391.0s] What's your first move?
[393.0s] First move is like, oh, that is quite the garment you're wearing there.
[399.0s] Where did you where did you get that fashion?
[402.0s] Oh, well, it's a custom piece.
[405.0s] There's a new tailor downtown.
[408.0s] It's invite only, Fredericks.
[411.0s] If you know somebody, he pulls out a card and hands it to you.
[415.0s] Get you in there.
[417.0s] Oh, thank you so much.
[418.0s] I take the card and I scoot up and I sit next to him.
[421.0s] Say, have you ever shopped at a chest of drawers?
[426.0s] As a matter of fact, I have and he's looking around.
[433.0s] He's part back some of his hair.
[437.0s] Look out of the corner of your eye.
[440.0s] I'm looking for it.
[442.0s] Look out of the corner of your eye.
[444.0s] It's so intimate.
[445.0s] Just watching Amy do that, I was like, I shouldn't see that.
[448.0s] It's very intimate.
[450.0s] Kav clocks this from across the room.
[453.0s] And the bridesmaids have clocked this.
[455.0s] Like they're lined up like on the hallway.
[457.0s] They're not far out.
[458.0s] And you just turn and you look and you see like she's just got fire in her eyes.
[462.0s] Like, what the hell are you doing?
[465.0s] Big smile.
[466.0s] Yeah.
[467.0s] Hey, mom, mom, this isn't where you're supposed to be sitting.
[471.0s] Oh, Kav, darling, have you met my friend?
[475.0s] Was it Chris?
[477.0s] Frederick.
[479.0s] Frederick.
[480.0s] It's your shop.
[483.0s] She's flirting with you.
[485.0s] Trying to get at them.
[486.0s] You're just trying to make a sale.
[489.0s] What is happening?
[490.0s] The amount of deception layered.
[493.0s] Layer is an onion in this bitch.
[500.0s] Frederick, I was just having a conversation with this lovely gentleman.
[505.0s] Where is the ceremony going to start soon?
[509.0s] I'd really like.
[510.0s] I'm hungry.
[511.0s] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[512.0s] No, it's going to start real soon.
[514.0s] But you know that I've always got your back, sweet mother.
[517.0s] So Kav reaches into his pocket and pulls out.
[520.0s] I'm assuming some sort of candy bar type of treat.
[523.0s] I just don't know what that would be in this scenario.
[527.0s] A piece of honeycomb.
[528.0s] What do we got?
[529.0s] Yeah, sticky gooey.
[532.0s] They're called globby goose.
[536.0s] All the kids love them, which is why the Kavlaran has so many of them.
[540.0s] But because they've been in your pocket, they are a little warmed.
[543.0s] So the parchment that they're wrapped in is like all mounted and stuck together.
[548.0s] And you hand it to her and it's like squishing into Play-Doh.
[553.0s] So, you know, just let's let's go get you over to your seat where you can hang out with the Schneiderhounds.
[563.0s] Schneiderhounds.
[564.0s] Oh, that's going to hang out with them.
[566.0s] Yeah, yeah, because I talked to to to Papa and he figured that would be a really good table for you to spend some time at.
[574.0s] I think your papa is right.
[576.0s] I'm going to have a good time with the Schneiderhounds.
[579.0s] Now, we have to talk about this thing where you keep leaving candy in your pockets.
[583.0s] I've been telling you since you were a young lad that you need to remove them, otherwise they will melt.
[588.0s] Here, let's go wash your hands off.
[590.0s] OK, Mom, as you get up and you're going to wash his hands off, you're walking like down the aisle as the music.
[600.0s] We are not.
[603.0s] We are not walking down the aisle.
[606.0s] OK, you're walking up the aisle then as the music like cuts out and the officiant looks at you and says, if you could please, please take your seats.
[617.0s] He has to wash his hands just one second.
[620.0s] It's OK. We'll just we'll sit right here.
[622.0s] I'll just...
[623.0s] Did you have a wet wipe?
[624.0s] Yes, let me check.
[625.0s] Dig out a wet wipe and get his face.
[628.0s] Sorry, old habits and hand it to him.
[631.0s] The music as you sit down picks up and the bridal party begins to enter.
[638.0s] Everybody looks very beautiful, very pink floral bridesmaids dresses.
[645.0s] The groomsmen come in. Kavlaran you were not invited to be a groomsmen.
[650.0s] Neither here nor there.
[652.0s] You've got a much more important job happening right now in the eyes of your father, though.
[656.0s] And then the bridal procession starts and your father walks in and he is nervously looking around the room for Kavlaran you clock him.
[670.0s] He's looking for you and he catches your eye and he gives you like just like a very sneaky thumbs up.
[677.0s] Like everything OK?
[678.0s] And with with Kav's mom right next to me like holds up a hand and is like 50-50 sign.
[687.0s] Yeah, he gives a nod to kind of the side and shrugs and he walks past you and just here under his breath.
[695.0s] Well, here we go and makes his way up.
[698.0s] I can do this.
[700.0s] I can do this.
[702.0s] I don't know how many of you would have met the bride previous.
[708.0s] It sounds like not all of you certainly have, but she enters led with her father coming in.
[717.0s] Very beautiful long gown sequined dress, long train and veil, very fair skinned.
[726.0s] She looks younger, not young, but younger.
[731.0s] We're all half elves, what does that mean?
[733.0s] As they all do.
[734.0s] Oh, you know, you know.
[737.0s] I know.
[739.0s] And she's led up to the front of the room and handed, not handed.
[746.0s] We're not going to do that bullshit.
[748.0s] My face is used, you said it.
[750.0s] No.
[751.0s] Gross.
[752.0s] Kav's dad gives her dad a goat.
[754.0s] The ceremony begins.
[756.0s] He hits her over the head with his club, drags her back.
[760.0s] Marriage.
[762.0s] Ceremony done.
[763.0s] Because it's fantasy, it needs to be realistic.
[766.0s] That's right.
[767.0s] They part, he sits back down and all of them are up there.
[773.0s] Are we in the middle?
[774.0s] Russ hit record, so I feel like we're in it.
[775.0s] I don't know.
[776.0s] Yeah.
[777.0s] We're in the middle of talking about wonderful stuff.
[778.0s] We're in the middle of talking about dogs and how much we love them.
[782.0s] Exactly.
[783.0s] Love dogs?
[784.0s] Exactly.
[785.0s] You know what else?
[786.0s] Or love the people who listen to us.
[787.0s] Exactly.
[788.0s] Yes.
[789.0s] I was going to say we love dogs.
[790.0s] We love things with D, like Dumbgeons and Dragons, and Dumbgeons and Dragons listeners.
[796.0s] It just turns our podcast into an adjective.
[799.0s] Sure.
[800.0s] Yeah.
[801.0s] I like it.
[802.0s] It also brings us very quickly to the Patreon dedication.
[806.0s] If we're doing things that start with D, it felt like a natural transition to
[812.0s] throw to that.
[813.0s] Today's episode is dedicated to Donna Nalbone.
[818.0s] Thank you, Donna.
[821.0s] Wow.
[822.0s] I love it.
[823.0s] Donna, this was meant to be your episode.
[825.0s] Absolutely.
[826.0s] Oh my goodness.
[827.0s] I hope we don't all D-I-E, Donna.
[829.0s] I'm sorry.
[830.0s] Oh no.
[831.0s] That would be a memorable episode for you though.
[833.0s] It would be a memorable episode.
[834.0s] We're going to not.
[835.0s] We're going to not, Donna, because we love you.
[838.0s] Yeah.
[839.0s] For that reason alone.
[840.0s] Do we die?
[841.0s] We do not.
[842.0s] Or do we?
[843.0s] Who knows?
[844.0s] Russ, right?
[845.0s] Don't, Russ.
[846.0s] What?
[847.0s] I can't kill you all off with Amy not here.
[852.0s] That's true.
[853.0s] That would be just rude.
[854.0s] This is the hard launch of the podcast, Just Being the Morse.
[857.0s] To be fair, recording would be a lot easier.
[860.0s] Oh my god, really?
[862.0s] Yeah.
[863.0s] I feel like Amy.
[864.0s] You wouldn't have to be wrangling nearly as much.
[867.0s] That's true.
[868.0s] The prank would be good though, is if Amy and I sit down and we're just sitting here waiting
[873.0s] and then I just go live and then nobody else is here.
[877.0s] She's like, what the heck?
[878.0s] Just Jess up in the corner.
[879.0s] Oh, that would be pretty funny.
[881.0s] Okay, so maybe for like an April Fools thing.
[883.0s] Maybe for April Fools or something.
[885.0s] Maybe, yeah.
[886.0s] Or we can flip the narrative where it's like, yeah, all of us die and all of a
[889.0s] sudden we're the children to Alydin.
[892.0s] There it is.
[895.0s] Yep.
[896.0s] Well, Donna, if that happens, it's because of this brainstorm.
[900.0s] You heard it here first.
[901.0s] Yes.
[902.0s] So thank you, Donna.
[903.0s] Thanks, Donna.
[904.0s] Yep.
[905.0s] Hey, you can join us on Patreon at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, where you get
[908.0s] a week free.
[909.0s] And when does this episode come out?
[911.0s] I don't know.
[912.0s] We probably got a sale going on soon.
[913.0s] So check it out.
[915.0s] I don't know what day this comes out.
[917.0s] So could be now, could be in a week from now.
[920.0s] It's happening.
[921.0s] Either way, it's around the corner.
[922.0s] It is.
[923.0s] Always is.
[924.0s] It's going to be on a day ending.
[926.0s] And why?
[927.0s] Oh, I know it.
[929.0s] Thanks for listening.
[930.0s] We love you.
[931.0s] We'll talk to you very soon.
[932.0s] OK, bye.
[933.0s] Love you.
[934.0s] Bye.
[935.0s] The officiant begins and we kind of cut ahead a little bit.
[941.0s] And the officiant finishes his speech and nods towards Lord Harrison, who takes
[950.0s] his bride's hands and he smiles genuinely, looks to the crowd, sees all of his wives
[960.0s] and then looks to Kavlaran.
[963.0s] What's the I guess what's the face that everybody gives as he's looking around
[968.0s] and sees each of you three?
[970.0s] Elowen's decided to sit on the left side so that when he's facing the bride, he's
[980.0s] looking at her like in her mind, right?
[983.0s] Like she's got his eyes and she is just like, like just like holding it back.
[992.0s] He kind of pans her over, likely sees Lady M.
[997.0s] Just impassivity.
[999.0s] Cool as a cucumber.
[1001.0s] Nods.
[1002.0s] Yeah, nods.
[1003.0s] That's what I expect.
[1004.0s] And then back over to Kavlaran and Ezell.
[1007.0s] Who has stepped away and is filling up a glass of rose.
[1012.0s] From behind the bar.
[1014.0s] He looks at Kavlaran, a little confused, but then looks to the bar and yeah, OK.
[1021.0s] And then looks to Kavlaran and he just like starts counting.
[1027.0s] And then gives like a questioning four.
[1030.0s] Like Kavlaran holds his hands up in a little X and a little like shrug like.
[1035.0s] I love the charades game.
[1037.0s] I love it as if not everyone can see.
[1041.0s] The officiant just stopped talking and then they're like, they're doing baseball signals.
[1048.0s] It's cool.
[1049.0s] He looks back to his wife and his soon to be wife rather and begins his vows and clears his throat.
[1057.0s] And he says, my love, I stand before you, having lived a life enthusiastically.
[1069.0s] There's a gentle laugh from the crowd.
[1075.0s] I have loved boldly.
[1077.0s] I have loved poorly.
[1081.0s] And I have loved in ways that taught me exactly what love is not.
[1087.0s] Elwyn leans to the person beside her and goes, does he say the same vows every time?
[1093.0s] They look over to you.
[1094.0s] Really?
[1097.0s] You see him kind of nervously squeeze her hands.
[1101.0s] But loving you feels different.
[1103.0s] It's not because it's perfect, but because it is honest.
[1109.0s] Takes a breath steady.
[1112.0s] I promise not that I will never err, but that I will always return.
[1120.0s] Not that I will never doubt, but that I will never hide those doubts from you.
[1129.0s] And he kind of looks over to Kavlaran and gives like a little like, you got this?
[1137.0s] He's slowly snaking his way to other seats.
[1141.0s] And not that this love will be the last, only that it will be the truest.
[1147.0s] Slides a new drink in front of Lady Eve and takes her old one away.
[1153.0s] I have learned that love is not proven, but how fiercely it burns.
[1157.0s] But by how carefully it is tended.
[1161.0s] He smiles softer now.
[1163.0s] Tissues for Elwyn.
[1164.0s] So I vow this.
[1166.0s] To choose you in joy, to choose you in mess, to choose you even when the world grows loud with old stories.
[1176.0s] And he glances just briefly toward the crowd, toward the past for him.
[1183.0s] I have lived many chapters.
[1185.0s] Today, I am not erasing them.
[1188.0s] I am turning the page.
[1190.0s] And he lifts her hands and says, with you.
[1193.0s] She goes on to say her vows, because this isn't about her, this is about him.
[1198.0s] I still don't even think they caught her name.
[1200.0s] Nope.
[1202.0s] Gwendovir.
[1204.0s] Gwendovir, a beautiful name.
[1206.0s] The most beautiful name in the world.
[1209.0s] Which I feel like I've said before, but I can't remember about who.
[1213.0s] For sure you have.
[1215.0s] I've gotten written down.
[1217.0s] Good, good, good.
[1219.0s] It's a common name.
[1221.0s] Because it's so beautiful.
[1223.0s] It's so beautiful.
[1225.0s] The vows are finished.
[1227.0s] It has beautiful vows, honestly.
[1229.0s] Yeah, really nice.
[1231.0s] I mean, this guy sucks, but beautiful.
[1233.0s] Yeah, no, he's working through some things.
[1235.0s] I like how he snuck in there that this probably won't last, but damn it, will it?
[1241.0s] But like, whew.
[1243.0s] At least he's honest.
[1245.0s] Real better-to-burn-out-than-fade-away situation.
[1248.0s] Gotta love that as the fifth wife.
[1251.0s] The officiant looks to them and says, the rings.
[1255.0s] They exchange their rings and says,
[1260.0s] Do you, Lord Harrison, take Lady Gwendovir to be your lawfully wedded wife?
[1266.0s] He says, I do.
[1269.0s] Lady Gwendovir, do you take Lord Harrison to be your lawfully wedded husband?
[1276.0s] And she says, Wait!
[1283.0s] I'm sorry, is everything okay?
[1288.0s] I'm sorry.
[1290.0s] Harrison looks to you and says, Elowen, is everything okay?
[1292.0s] No, you're making a mistake.
[1294.0s] Oh, Elowen.
[1296.0s] The mistake is that you haven't had me up to speak about how awesome you are, Papa.
[1304.0s] Of course, of course.
[1306.0s] This is a move.
[1307.0s] No.
[1308.0s] I mean, trying to take that bullet anyway.
[1310.0s] For not being invited and then all this, like, you are going above and beyond.
[1317.0s] No, Elowen and I had chatted before the ceremony, and she had said it would be such a good idea if I just got up there
[1325.0s] and talked about what a great papa you are.
[1327.0s] Oh, well, I mean, we had some time at the speeches, but yeah, it's unorthodox.
[1332.0s] But of course, yes, come on up, Kavlaran.
[1335.0s] He's taking the cue and, like, just allowing this to happen.
[1339.0s] Just a second, Gwendovir.
[1341.0s] Yes, it's ceremonial in the Goldweave family to have the firstborn son of the third wife come up
[1350.0s] and give a speech before the fifth wife's wedding.
[1355.0s] Of course, yes, yes.
[1357.0s] As everyone here knows already.
[1359.0s] You come up and turn to face the crowd who has gone like dead silent.
[1369.0s] When I was invited to this wedding, I dropped everything and ran here.
[1376.0s] Because I knew how important it was to my papa.
[1380.0s] And he has always been there for me through thick and thin, wedding after wedding after wedding.
[1390.0s] He's my rock.
[1393.0s] And it's really nice to see that he's found someone to be his rock.
[1398.0s] And I just want to say Gwendovir, this beautiful name.
[1402.0s] I've never heard it before, but it's absolutely amazing.
[1405.0s] It's lovely to meet you for the first time, Kavlaran.
[1407.0s] Yes, yes, interesting circumstances to meet someone.
[1411.0s] But I just I wanted to say welcome to the family and fifth time's the charm.
[1417.0s] And I hold up my drink of the same name.
[1421.0s] Everybody else in the crowd also holds up their drink.
[1425.0s] Your father leans into you and says that was very moving.
[1430.0s] I knew I had you.
[1432.0s] You know what? You're in the wrong place, Kavlaran.
[1435.0s] And he turns to his best man.
[1438.0s] Oh, no, no, no, no, that's quite all right.
[1440.0s] He's doing it.
[1441.0s] It's quite all right.
[1442.0s] And he's like, Gary, go sit down.
[1444.0s] He's demoting him.
[1446.0s] He's demoting Gary.
[1448.0s] Gary, I'm so sorry.
[1450.0s] Gary spent so much on the bachelor party.
[1454.0s] Gary's out a lot.
[1457.0s] I'm so sorry, Gary.
[1459.0s] I'm so sorry.
[1460.0s] Yeah, that'd be another one in a couple of years.
[1462.0s] It's fine.
[1464.0s] And he pulls you up and says, you come stand here.
[1468.0s] And then he leans in.
[1470.0s] He's like, it's also a better vantage point, just in case.
[1473.0s] Well, you know who shows up.
[1476.0s] Oh, no, that's 100 percent why I thought you were doing that.
[1479.0s] Yes. No, I appreciate it.
[1481.0s] Also, Elluin looked like she was going to just lose it.
[1483.0s] Anyway, back to the wedding.
[1486.0s] Sorry.
[1488.0s] His lapel mic's been on the whole time.
[1490.0s] Yeah.
[1492.0s] Where were we?
[1493.0s] And Guindavere looks at him and says,
[1495.0s] well, I was just about to say, I do.
[1501.0s] And she looks around the crowd and sees the various states of previous wives.
[1506.0s] And she says, you see, everybody looks at her.
[1510.0s] And she's got this face like, I can fix him.
[1514.0s] And she says, I can do this.
[1516.0s] I can do this.
[1518.0s] I can do this.
[1520.0s] I do.
[1522.0s] The officiant says, well, with that, you are now Mr.
[1528.0s] and Mrs. Lord Harrison Goldweave.
[1531.0s] You may now kiss the bride.
[1534.0s] They do.
[1536.0s] There's a ruckus cheer from the crowd.
[1539.0s] Maybe not everybody, but.
[1542.0s] There's some ugly crying happening in the front row.
[1546.0s] Various emotions happening.
[1548.0s] The band strikes up again.
[1550.0s] And Harrison and Guindavere head back down the aisle.
[1556.0s] The crowd sees them off.
[1558.0s] And everybody's milling about, not milling about, standing up.
[1562.0s] Lots of people heading towards the bar.
[1564.0s] There's an announcement that goes over.
[1566.0s] It's Benny.
[1568.0s] The lord and lady will be taking some time for sketches in the garden.
[1574.0s] And then after that, the toasts and dinner shall begin.
[1580.0s] The reception shall begin.
[1581.0s] That's where that happens.
[1583.0s] It's not my first, won't be my last.
[1586.0s] He looks at Kavlaran gives him a wink.
[1588.0s] He's like, you know.
[1589.0s] Killing it, Benny.
[1590.0s] 100% thought Benny was going to come on and be like,
[1593.0s] To the person with the white Prius.
[1596.0s] You are parked in the wrong.
[1599.0s] In the loading zone.
[1601.0s] I just wanted to say that the eagle has landed.
[1603.0s] The eagle has landed.
[1607.0s] I'll just wait for it.
[1608.0s] You see them and the bridal party all head out towards the garden.
[1614.0s] Leaving you a moment to make bad decisions.
[1617.0s] I think lady M is going to go to Ellowen.
[1622.0s] Oh, darling.
[1625.0s] Still.
[1627.0s] Here, have it.
[1629.0s] There's a handkerchief.
[1631.0s] I can't believe.
[1632.0s] How can you still let him affect you like that?
[1635.0s] This is the difference between you and I.
[1637.0s] I loved him.
[1638.0s] I love him.
[1640.0s] And that doesn't just go away.
[1642.0s] Well, I know.
[1645.0s] I know.
[1646.0s] I know.
[1647.0s] If their love is real, they should be able to stand up to a question.
[1651.0s] Why didn't he ask if anyone objected?
[1654.0s] Why didn't he ask?
[1655.0s] You're right, my dear.
[1657.0s] Oh, you're right.
[1659.0s] It's.
[1661.0s] I mean, it's very pathetic, but my heart does go out to you.
[1665.0s] You're so sad.
[1666.0s] Let me come on.
[1667.0s] Let's go have a drink.
[1668.0s] Not one of these terrible fifth times the charm.
[1670.0s] A real drink.
[1673.0s] From somewhere in all of the tool of her wedding dress,
[1679.0s] she pulls out a little unmarked bottle of amber liquor.
[1685.0s] Yes.
[1686.0s] It's just like.
[1687.0s] Yes.
[1688.0s] Ellowen, that is exactly what we need.
[1691.0s] I thought it might not have gone my way this time, but I guess.
[1695.0s] I suppose there's.
[1697.0s] I don't want to say there's still hope.
[1699.0s] There isn't hope.
[1700.0s] You've aged out.
[1701.0s] I'm so sorry.
[1702.0s] I wish it wasn't so, but he's a terrible man.
[1706.0s] Wouldn't you want someone to fight this hard for you?
[1710.0s] It's very romantic.
[1712.0s] I will admit it's very romantic, misguided, foolish, embarrassing,
[1718.0s] but very romantic.
[1720.0s] Two of you have made your way over to the bar
[1722.0s] as much as you are drinking from Ellowen.
[1724.0s] We're best friends now.
[1725.0s] We need a glass.
[1726.0s] That's what we need.
[1727.0s] We're not animals.
[1728.0s] Well, you turn and you see both of them headed towards the bar,
[1732.0s] but headed towards your direction.
[1734.0s] Because you're now bartending the shindig.
[1737.0s] I'm imagining you're just like cocktails there.
[1741.0s] We went flair cocktailing.
[1743.0s] Yep, I've pushed the bartender out of the way.
[1745.0s] I'm just taking care of myself though.
[1747.0s] See you two pull up.
[1750.0s] Ladies, please have a seat.
[1754.0s] Oh, my goodness.
[1755.0s] How are you?
[1757.0s] I must say, your boy, he's working very hard.
[1763.0s] Oh, Cav.
[1765.0s] To keep us all contained.
[1768.0s] But I had a thought.
[1772.0s] I hate him.
[1774.0s] Ellowen loves him, but hates him.
[1777.0s] Yselle, what are your thoughts?
[1779.0s] Do you hate him?
[1780.0s] Do you love him?
[1781.0s] Do you have strong emotions right now?
[1783.0s] You're talking about my son Cavalarin?
[1786.0s] No, no.
[1787.0s] Of course you love Cav.
[1788.0s] I'm talking about that bastard.
[1790.0s] A bastard, Harrison.
[1792.0s] Cav is an angel.
[1794.0s] He is the best thing.
[1796.0s] The rosé.
[1797.0s] I would never tell you I hate Cav.
[1800.0s] Oh, I'm so sorry for the confusion.
[1802.0s] I have been drinking out of that small bottle.
[1806.0s] Well, honestly, I could give two shits at this point.
[1811.0s] I mean...
[1812.0s] Oh, good for you.
[1814.0s] Sure, it was lovely while it lasted.
[1818.0s] It was bright, flashy, and...
[1825.0s] I feel like I'm pretty locked in, though, with Cav, so...
[1829.0s] Yes, you did get that sweet angel boy out of the deal, so...
[1834.0s] You came out ahead of us, didn't she, Ellowen?
[1837.0s] Well, I really feel like I came out ahead once the fourth one came around
[1843.0s] and it took a little time to stop icing me out just because I gave a kid,
[1849.0s] and it's been really nice getting to know you two, and...
[1853.0s] The icing out was the worst part.
[1856.0s] Just use your words.
[1857.0s] You're an adult half-elf.
[1859.0s] Just say, I found someone else.
[1863.0s] I'm breaking the vows that we made under the name of the gods
[1868.0s] and for both of our families' benefits, and I'm moving on.
[1871.0s] At least just say it.
[1872.0s] Don't just...
[1874.0s] Oh, my goodness.
[1876.0s] I completely agree.
[1877.0s] If he would just say that it meant something and that it was done,
[1884.0s] but he didn't ever just say that.
[1886.0s] It was just kind of drifty, and then it was over, and like it...
[1892.0s] He starts misbehaving as if you're going to leave him.
[1896.0s] Hey, hey, what are my three favorite ladies talking about?
[1900.0s] Oh, just what an angel you are.
[1902.0s] The statistical anomaly of a Sith wedding.
[1906.0s] I'll probably have another chance.
[1910.0s] And maybe another one after that.
[1912.0s] So, you know what?
[1913.0s] Life is full of chances.
[1915.0s] Yeah, we live a long time.
[1918.0s] Kavlarne, you'd rushed back in
[1922.0s] because you did get swept away in with the bridal party,
[1925.0s] and then as you got outside, your father was like,
[1928.0s] As much as I need you, would love to have you out here.
[1931.0s] I kind of need you in there.
[1932.0s] Could you send Gary back, please?
[1935.0s] Oh, Gare Bear.
[1937.0s] Gary's a roller coaster of emotions for this wedding.
[1940.0s] Poor Gary. I hope he doesn't go.
[1942.0s] I hope he leaves.
[1943.0s] I hope he stands up for himself.
[1945.0s] He should just come over here.
[1946.0s] Shit talk, Harrison.
[1947.0s] Yeah, he should.
[1949.0s] This is where the real party is.
[1951.0s] But as you're rejoining this conversation, Kavlarne,
[1954.0s] you catch out of the corner of your eye heading...
[1957.0s] Someone has walked into the building
[1959.0s] and gone down the back hall, and you see this woman,
[1963.0s] and she is dressed all in black
[1966.0s] and disappears into one of the back areas,
[1971.0s] out of sight, and heads back towards
[1974.0s] where your father was hanging out before the ceremony.
[1982.0s] I don't want to alarm anyone,
[1986.0s] but the fourth has arrived.
[1990.0s] Interesting.
[1994.0s] I don't know about you ladies.
[1995.0s] I look forward to seeing her.
[1997.0s] I thought I was going to be the one who made the biggest
[2002.0s] fool of themselves at this.
[2005.0s] Let's see what happens.
[2007.0s] Look, I got to go.
[2008.0s] I got to go take...
[2010.0s] I just...
[2011.0s] You know.
[2012.0s] You know.
[2013.0s] You know.
[2014.0s] High fives?
[2016.0s] High fives.
[2017.0s] Just make sure the bet goes in my direction, okay?
[2019.0s] I offer the liquor bottle to him.
[2021.0s] You're going to need it.
[2022.0s] I take a hit of it.
[2023.0s] Absolutely.
[2024.0s] You're going to need it.
[2025.0s] Kavlarne, you're heading quickly back down the hallway.
[2028.0s] You don't know where exactly she went,
[2030.0s] but you're checking every single door,
[2032.0s] trying to track her down.
[2036.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons Season 4 Episode 47
[2041.0s] Starring Tom Laird as Kavlarne Goldweave
[2044.0s] Carla Maxted as Lady Marizan the First
[2047.0s] Amy More as Ellowin the Second
[2049.0s] Kyle Claset as Baroness Yiselle the Third
[2052.0s] and Russ More as your Dungeon Master
[2055.0s] Dialogue Editing and Sound Design of today's episode is by Russ More.
[2059.0s] Our Community Manager is Jessica Babiak
[2061.0s] Music is from Epidemic Sound
[2063.0s] And sound effects are from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.
[2067.0s] Our amazing cover art is by Matt Garbutt.
[2070.0s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers
[2072.0s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak, Ongorong Kierzen, Perry Matey,
[2077.0s] Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Old School Gamer D,
[2081.0s] Craig Zeiss, L.A. Branton, Chibs1012, and Kudzu828
[2086.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast
[2089.0s] and all of our amazing community help make sure
[2092.0s] that we have adventures for you every single week.
[2095.0s] Come join us today, patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
[2098.0s] We hope to see you over there and you have yourself, right now, a great week.
[2104.0s] Yes, and we'll talk to you very, very soon.
[2106.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.