[0.0s] Hello and welcome to the fifth wedding for Lord Harrison Goldweave. Your invitation, please. Oh, yes. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Please come in, grab a drink and have a seat on the bride or the groom side. Oh, it doesn't matter. Actually, take a seat wherever you like. Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin in a moment.
[21.7s] We find ourselves in Kingstown in a beautiful banquet hall. People have started to show up for the wedding of Lord Harrison, who's a very well-known noble in the region. And we see our good friend Kavlaran come through the front doors looking a little lost, bewildered. How's Kav doing?
[44.7s] Kav's a little tired after his his trip over there, his unexpected trip.
[49.3s] Yeah, you were approached by a page who basically said without warning that your father was preparing for his fifth wedding, and you found yourself here and you see an usher, you know, greeting people at the door. He looks over and sees you and gives you a raised eyebrows and a wave to come over to him.
[70.0s] And I make my way over and I'm like, Hi, where do I go? Who do I talk to? You must know, right? Yes. Yes. You are the son, Kavlaran Goldweave. Yes. Yes, that would be me. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Your father is in the, well, it's the holding facility for for the husband's jail.
[97.4s] He's in groom jail.
[99.3s] He's in groom jail. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, dear. He's in groom jail. He's waiting for you. He was hoping that you would arrive just on time. Shall I announce your arrival? Or are you good to find your way back there? I know he's had two weddings here previously.
[113.5s] Yeah, you know what? I'm old hat with this venue. So not a problem. I'll just I'll see myself back there.
[118.7s] Love it. Well, I will I will tend to hear if you need anything, any direction whatsoever beyond where to find your father, you know where to find me. Yes. And your name was Benny Benson.
[130.4s] Benny Benson. Oh, that'll be an easy one to remember. Thanks, Benny. You're welcome. You're welcome, sir. Oh, no, put those down. And he rushes off towards the gift table.
[141.2s] All right. I make my way. I make my way back to where Papa should be. Yes. And I like knock our special little knock on the door. It's three short taps in a row.
[158.9s] He'll know.
[159.6s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast. And I'm your dungeon master Russ More. He him also with me today is Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave. He him. Yeah, I said hustle. Karla Maxted as Lady Marison the first. Like you did in college. Like that sort of experimenting or Amy More as Elowen the second. So you're saying there's there's still a shot. And Kyle Claset as Baroness Yiselle the third. It's the third grandson. Nobody wants to be the third grandson.
[190.5s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon supported podcast. And we'd love for you to join us today at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast. You'll get a seven day free trial to check things out. And now let's get right to it. Fuck it. Let's play.
[205.2s] Three short taps in a row go and you often the often the main chamber you hear music begin to drift down the hallways. You hear more guests. It's getting a little busier out there. And you hear from inside the deep voice of your father. Call in. Yes, please. Come in. I'm trying to tie my tie.
[231.9s] Papa, is that any way to greet your son?
[235.1s] Kavlaran? Oh, I did the special knock. Oh, well, yes, you did. It's been quite a while since we've experienced that knock around here, though. Said you were out adventuring. Just there was kind of a rapid fire thing there for a little while.
[252.4s] Yes. Well, when you know, you know.
[254.8s] Oh, yeah. Well, you always say I do. I do. I do thank the gods that you are here. I mean, I was hoping you would arrive before the seating became well, complicated, which it appears you have.
[270.5s] What do you mean by complicated?
[272.6s] I don't suppose you've noticed how many familiar faces are already here on your way in.
[278.9s] No, I literally just got here.
[281.1s] OK, well, well, I mean, they all assured me that they behave and I believe them.
[287.0s] Truly, I just history suggests optimism is not my strongest skill.
[296.5s] This matters, Kav, not because it's another wedding, because it's this one.
[303.4s] She deserves a day that isn't haunted by my poor judgment.
[307.4s] OK, all right. I don't even think I caught her name from the page that came to get me.
[313.9s] What? Sorry, what was her name?
[316.1s] Gwendovere.
[317.9s] Gwendovere. Oh, it's a beautiful name.
[319.8s] It is. She's a beautiful woman.
[321.8s] You're going to love her.
[323.1s] She's, of course, not replacing your mother.
[327.9s] Nobody, nobody could do that.
[332.4s] Look, Kavlar, and he he meets your eyes in earnest.
[337.1s] I. I would prefer if there wasn't shouting today.
[342.4s] Oh, OK. Well, the last couple of your weddings that I've been to, that has not been the case.
[350.8s] That is true. At the last couple of my weddings, not all of my previous wives were there, though.
[360.1s] Ah, yes. So here's.
[366.1s] I'm glad you're here, boy.
[368.6s] I need your assistance.
[370.3s] I don't I don't want I don't want shouting.
[373.1s] I don't want speeches.
[375.0s] I don't want tears unless they're appropriate.
[381.2s] He pauses.
[384.1s] Gives a bit of a rueful smile and says, I love love, my boy.
[389.1s] But love has a habit of leaving debris behind.
[392.5s] He gestures vaguely toward the hall.
[396.2s] Marisandre will want accuracy.
[400.7s] Elluin will want meaning and Hizel will want entertainment.
[408.6s] And Corvela, he pauses and then looks at his shoes.
[413.9s] No, let's not borrow trouble, shall we?
[417.0s] I'm asking you not as my son, but as the most competent adult in the room to keep the peace.
[426.4s] Talk to them, distract them, if necessary, lie to them.
[431.1s] I trust your judgment.
[432.6s] OK, so just like.
[435.4s] Hang with each of them equally so that none of them are jealous of any of the other ones or the new wife.
[443.6s] Yes, and if any of them look like they are about to start anything,
[448.8s] Kavlar, and you know, you know, the traditional signals that they give off.
[454.6s] If you could just shut her down.
[457.2s] OK, yeah, yeah.
[458.8s] I know it's an unfair thing to ask.
[460.7s] I've made a habit of those.
[462.9s] But if all goes well, no one remembers anything but the vows.
[466.8s] And that's all I want.
[468.5s] Sure, I can do this.
[469.9s] I can do this.
[471.8s] I can do this.
[473.6s] I can do this.
[475.6s] You have always been good at bAlydincing ledgers.
[479.0s] Consider this an emotional one, Kavlar.
[482.4s] I can do this.
[486.9s] He gives you a firm pat on the back and looks hard into your eyes and says,
[492.4s] I know you can.
[493.8s] Shall we seal it with our traditional father, son high five?
[497.6s] We certainly shall.
[500.2s] He. Extends his hand high,
[503.6s] but I start coming in low.
[505.5s] And then he goes in for the windmill, which connects down low,
[511.0s] says, gotcha classic.
[515.2s] Describing knocks and high
[517.2s] five on a podcast has now perfect.
[520.4s] It's my favorite thing.
[523.0s] Wait till you hear about the multifunctional sleeping bag, Amy.
[527.7s] Tell me more, baby.
[532.4s] Just wait, I'm going to describe a handshake to you later
[535.4s] that's going to rock you to your core.
[538.2s] Amazing.
[541.8s] You finish your high five and he says, OK, well, we'll go get a good seat.
[545.7s] Things can start early as guests are arriving, you know, some of
[550.4s] some of my lovely dear wives like to make a grand entrance.
[554.2s] And perhaps we can hit them off at the pass.
[558.2s] Yeah, I can do this.
[560.0s] I got this. You know it.
[562.6s] Absolutely. Uh huh.
[564.2s] I'm just going to. Yeah, I'm going to.
[565.9s] I'm going to just keep pepping myself up while I walk out of here
[569.4s] and go get it done.
[570.4s] If you if you need absolutely need anything to have this.
[574.2s] Benny Benson, go see Benny and he will help you if you need anything.
[579.7s] Sorry, I didn't catch any great talking myself up.
[583.4s] The door shuts behind you and you find yourself
[587.5s] pumping yourself up, moving back to the hall
[590.9s] where many more guests have arrived.
[593.7s] And you out of the corner of your eye,
[596.9s] as you look up between one of these positive affirmations,
[600.6s] turn and look and see who is un
[606.2s] not unrecognizable.
[609.7s] You see some. I don't know who I see.
[612.8s] You've never met any of these women before in your life.
[615.6s] Even your own mother.
[617.1s] Sorry. It was for the maid.
[620.2s] Yeah, you see your father's Lord
[623.7s] Harrison's first wife, Lady Marisande, enter the hall.
[630.6s] Carla, if you could describe Lady Marisande
[633.6s] and what she's doing as she enters.
[636.6s] Lady Marisande is very tall, of course.
[639.3s] Also a half elf, very, very elegant of an age with your father.
[644.0s] So of of a similar age.
[646.4s] So beautiful, like natural gray hair in an updo.
[650.6s] Very elegant, stern face,
[654.4s] let's say, not not smiling, quite austere looking. OK.
[660.2s] Oh, Kavlar, and I was so hoping I would get to see you.
[664.8s] Oh, Lady M, it is wonderful to see you as well.
[668.4s] How are you doing, dear boy? Where are you now?
[671.9s] You know, I've been a little bit of here and a little bit of there
[674.1s] and a little bit of other worlds and other planes of existence.
[677.1s] But right now, just like you did in college,
[680.6s] like that sort of experiment, I mean, adjacent to that.
[685.1s] A little more like you could reach out and grab it sort of thing
[688.8s] this time, but still weird as fuck.
[691.5s] Yeah, yeah. But anyway, Vinter Smith.
[694.4s] I've been hanging out in Vinter Smith.
[695.8s] Oh, interesting.
[697.4s] Yes, I know a few of the noble families over there.
[700.7s] Oh, of course you do. Of course, you know, I know.
[703.2s] I mean, there's Lord and Lady Bucket over there.
[706.8s] I know. I mean, I know all of the more distinguished guests
[711.3s] at this event. Of course, I have been in your father's life
[715.5s] since he stole my youth and beauty for many, many years.
[723.1s] Did you know there's an open bar, Lady M?
[725.9s] What's that? We have an open bar.
[727.7s] It's just right over here.
[730.1s] Oh, well, I could do with maybe a maybe a martini.
[734.8s] You know, alcohol always helps smooth these social occasions.
[739.1s] So absolutely perfect.
[741.9s] Every time you want to drink, you just like, give me a little signal
[745.3s] and I'll make sure a new one appears in your hand.
[747.7s] You're a very sweet boy, very, very sweet.
[751.0s] I fell a little far from the tree, but still relatively close.
[755.0s] The further from the male tree, probably the better in your case.
[759.4s] So well done. Of course, of course.
[761.7s] Yes. Oh, I've missed you, Lady M.
[763.8s] It's lovely to see you.
[765.0s] And I give you one little smooch on the cheek and then whisk myself away
[769.1s] to the bar, because that'll help. That's right.
[771.6s] I immediately steered her to the bar.
[773.4s] Yeah, great. Things are going good so far.
[776.3s] Yeah. And as you turn and see Lady M walking towards the bar,
[781.4s] you see turning away from the bar with a fresh drink in her hand.
[785.2s] Your father's second wife, Ellowin.
[787.8s] Ellowin is also half elf, so tall,
[792.9s] very slight, almost kind of frail looking.
[797.3s] She is wearing what
[800.3s] some might
[804.0s] see as a wedding dress. Yes.
[809.6s] Mm hmm.
[810.9s] Whether or not it is the wedding dress
[815.5s] that she wore when marrying Cav's dad,
[822.0s] she'll never tell, but she will tell you it is that same dress.
[825.8s] And this is not her first drink.
[830.3s] So she's already had a couple.
[835.6s] What what do they serve in?
[837.7s] What's the special?
[838.7s] Yeah, what's the special beverage?
[840.7s] Because, you know, there's always a theme drink.
[842.1s] Do they have a signature cocktail?
[843.2s] Yeah, I would hope so.
[845.8s] I'm assuming the new wife is very young,
[848.0s] so they must have a hashtag and a signature.
[850.6s] Oh, absolutely. There's a little like selfie station.
[853.2s] You know, they've got it all.
[854.0s] Yeah, no, they they have absolutely all of that.
[857.1s] And the signature cocktail
[860.6s] is called, as you see on the menu, the fifth times the charm.
[866.6s] It's a drink that it's.
[871.7s] Yeah. OK.
[873.0s] Drink the drink and she's had a couple of them.
[877.0s] Twenty twenty six is going to drink.
[882.4s] Listed beneath it are the ingredients, which are aged
[885.6s] brandy, elderflower liqueur, fresh citrus, a splash of sparkling wine.
[890.9s] And it's finished with a gold dusted cherry
[893.9s] or citrus peel tied in a knot.
[897.0s] I hope it's a citrus peel.
[898.1s] Cherry seems extra creepy.
[901.1s] But like, you don't know which one until you get the drink.
[903.9s] Yeah, it depends on which side of the bar you get it served from.
[906.9s] Right. There you go.
[911.2s] OK, let's do a middle.
[914.5s] We've already been doing a middle where we've been talking about lapping
[918.1s] timers. Yeah, that's true.
[921.0s] Well, welcome to it.
[922.0s] We started in media res for the middle.
[925.6s] Yeah. You're joining us now for an intense discussion
[928.6s] about whether to start and stop a timer or hit lap pros and cons.
[934.1s] I think what we've discovered.
[936.3s] This is coming to you secretly in the middle is that Russ
[939.0s] just didn't know what lap did.
[940.9s] Yeah. And it was, in fact, a good idea.
[944.4s] Oh, of course. Yeah, of course it was.
[946.0s] It's always a good idea.
[948.4s] But it seems silly because, you know, of how sportsy I am.
[952.7s] That's true. That's very true.
[955.5s] I'm dying. You were a runner for a while.
[959.3s] I did. When this podcast started, you were a runner.
[963.0s] That's true. It's true.
[964.9s] And I constantly think of how I should do that again.
[968.4s] But then don't.
[971.0s] So maybe that's the call.
[972.8s] This is that it was hard then.
[975.4s] I'm remembering how hard it was.
[976.8s] And now my body's 10 years older than it was when I did it
[981.8s] and thought it was hard.
[983.4s] Every once in a while, I hop on just to see if I can do it.
[986.1s] And I can run straight for like 10 to 15 minutes.
[989.0s] OK, I'm glad you can still run when you need to do it.
[991.7s] When I need to. You never know when you're going to need to run.
[993.7s] I just put up a poster of a bear on the back wall.
[996.5s] Sure. Yeah. That gives me motivation.
[999.0s] Does that give you motivation? That gives me motivation.
[1001.7s] By not looking at it?
[1003.3s] By not looking at it. I know it's there.
[1005.7s] So if I stop and get off that bear, still there.
[1008.8s] I got to keep going.
[1009.7s] It's just a mirror of you.
[1011.0s] You're watching yourself running from a bear.
[1013.7s] Just terrifying. It's not even a mirror.
[1015.7s] I just have the selfie cam on.
[1021.3s] So I have 10 to 15 minute videos of me being chased by a poster bear.
[1025.7s] Love it. Do you yell too? Because no one's home.
[1027.4s] No, nobody's home. The dogs freak the fuck out.
[1029.6s] Yeah, no.
[1031.0s] Yeah, nobody hears you scream
[1032.2s] when you're running on a treadmill away from a fake bear.
[1034.3s] That's that was the original tagline for Aliens.
[1037.2s] Makes sense. Yeah. Yeah.
[1040.2s] Didn't land quite as well in focus groups, though.
[1042.6s] Oh, boy. They don't know what they're missing.
[1044.5s] This is our tightest middle yet.
[1046.3s] It really is. Yeah.
[1047.6s] Yeah, it's the most natural.
[1049.1s] Hey, when you join us on Patreon at Patreon.com
[1051.8s] slash Dumb Dragon Cast.
[1053.8s] If I did actually have those videos, I might upload them,
[1058.1s] but I probably would.
[1059.0s] Oh, he doesn't know when he is turning tail before he gets through that door.
[1065.2s] I would totally probably not post them.
[1068.7s] Yeah, I don't want to be held to this.
[1070.2s] Seems like something nobody needs.
[1071.8s] But what you do need is an episode dedication, right?
[1074.8s] Oh, and you can go there.
[1076.8s] You can sign up and then you get put into the randomizer.
[1080.3s] And then we tell you.
[1082.1s] Rob Lowe comes out. He tells you.
[1084.0s] Oh, no. This is the floor.
[1085.4s] Yeah.
[1086.8s] Mm hmm. That's exactly.
[1088.0s] Name every type of pasta you can. Go.
[1091.1s] Oh, God.
[1092.4s] But you get an episode dedicated to you like today's patron, Nathan Ervin.
[1099.1s] Thanks, Nathan.
[1100.9s] Thanks, Nathan.
[1102.0s] Nathan, let us know.
[1103.6s] Lap picture of a bear.
[1105.7s] Any of that resonating with you?
[1107.6s] Pasta, Rob Lowe.
[1110.0s] You know, there's a lot of touch points in this one for Nathan.
[1112.9s] Indeed. I feel like I certainly hope so.
[1115.1s] Pulled this straight from Nathan's CV.
[1117.4s] Yeah. You know, all of the experience in Nathan's life,
[1120.3s] we've really just rolled up right here.
[1122.8s] Imagine that was true.
[1124.5s] I hope at least I hope it is too.
[1126.9s] I hope it's not the bear thing.
[1128.6s] I hope it's also not the bear.
[1130.0s] Well, the picture of a bear. Fine.
[1131.6s] But not an actual. Yeah.
[1133.1s] I hope on Nathan's resume, it's just like friends with Rob Lowe.
[1137.3s] That would probably hire him.
[1139.2s] I often put on my resume credited next to Jeff Goldblum.
[1143.6s] So yes, ask no more questions.
[1148.0s] Please. Nothing else.
[1151.0s] Yeah. But thank you very much, Nathan.
[1155.4s] Patreon.com.
[1156.3s] I'm Dragoncast. We hope to see you over there.
[1158.2s] Please come join us.
[1160.8s] Please, please, please.
[1163.1s] Please, please, please.
[1166.8s] Please. OK, hit the lap.
[1169.3s] How long was that one?
[1171.0s] Oh, no, I didn't even hit the timer.
[1173.8s] Oh, boy.
[1174.8s] Oh, we have to start again.
[1175.4s] Get us back to the episode, Russ.
[1176.9s] Get us back to the episode.
[1177.9s] Take it back to the top.
[1180.6s] Love you. Bye.
[1181.3s] Love you. Bye.
[1184.9s] As you are approaching Lady M,
[1187.0s] you see Eloin coming with a fresh fifth
[1190.5s] time's the charm in her hand.
[1193.2s] Oh, well, if it isn't the replacement.
[1196.3s] Lovely to see you.
[1198.1s] Oh, are you? You as well.
[1201.4s] You're looking good.
[1206.1s] Yeah. Yeah.
[1207.5s] You know, that's so lovely.
[1209.7s] I I wouldn't dare put on my wedding dress
[1214.5s] from so, so, so many years ago.
[1219.2s] But you are.
[1220.8s] Well, you're very brave, aren't you?
[1223.7s] You're very brave.
[1225.0s] After you two were finished,
[1228.6s] you just after I was replaced by you against my will.
[1232.9s] The heart wants what the heart wants.
[1235.4s] Mm hmm.
[1236.6s] Younger, hotter woman, I understand.
[1238.8s] The heart definitely was the one that wanted that.
[1242.3s] Listen, it wasn't all about.
[1245.1s] Physical, they.
[1247.0s] Wait a minute.
[1247.4s] I mean, obviously, you didn't you didn't you didn't provide an heir, did you?
[1251.4s] So, yes, that's why we're both replaced.
[1256.6s] Yeah.
[1257.6s] You hear the sound of catfight.
[1262.2s] Rare.
[1262.9s] You hear the sound of like moving of furniture
[1266.0s] happening from the other side of the hall, loud enough
[1269.2s] like somebody is now dragging a table behind them.
[1272.7s] And you turn and look.
[1273.9s] And, well, I mean, the three of you recognize immediately.
[1277.8s] Cav, you've allowed this conversation to go on.
[1280.9s] That may not work in your favor.
[1282.6s] You see Baroness Yaselle rearranging some furniture.
[1287.8s] Oh, there she is.
[1289.9s] Yaselle, she makes me like you a lot better.
[1293.1s] Hey, Lady M. That was almost a compliment.
[1296.2s] Oh, I just have I just heard from Lord Lady Bucket
[1299.7s] that they would love to have you for a minute.
[1301.7s] Oh, that's so sweet.
[1304.2s] They just welcome their third grandson.
[1306.4s] I'll have to go say hello.
[1307.9s] Perfect. Great.
[1309.1s] I'll see you later.
[1312.3s] I guess.
[1313.2s] Hello and probably at the bar.
[1316.6s] Well, and how are you settling in?
[1318.8s] Everything good? Are you good?
[1321.5s] Well, no, no, Cav.
[1325.4s] OK, OK.
[1326.6s] If if you were at the love of your life's fifth wedding.
[1333.2s] Well, I mean, what you need to remember, though,
[1335.7s] is that this is only the fifth official wedding.
[1338.1s] If she says yes, there have been like 17 weddings.
[1341.4s] Only four have stuck, though.
[1344.6s] You're just saying that to be nice.
[1346.6s] No, no, no, it's true.
[1348.2s] I have a running list of the weddings I've attended.
[1353.0s] It's almost double digits.
[1355.6s] OK, so you're saying there's there's still a shot.
[1358.7s] There's still a shot.
[1359.8s] Absolutely. There's still a shot. OK.
[1363.5s] All right. You know, I could have been your mom.
[1366.4s] I mean, that would have been wonderful if it had happened.
[1371.0s] But I'm so glad that we're so close.
[1373.9s] Me too. You know, blended families are beautiful.
[1378.3s] And no matter what happens,
[1381.1s] I hope you can always look to me as a kind of mother figure.
[1385.4s] Of course. Now, unfortunately, speaking of mother figures,
[1389.0s] I have to go deal with mine.
[1391.2s] So I just I'll be back soon, though.
[1393.8s] I'd love to keep chatting, but I just, you know,
[1396.0s] I got to go do that thing. Of course.
[1399.4s] Yeah, no, I'm just I'm going to go talk to some of the bridesmaids.
[1403.8s] Perfect. Perfect. Goodbye. High five.
[1405.7s] Oh, yeah, for sure.
[1407.3s] So we raise our hands up, but like up, like really, really high, like tiptoes.
[1412.9s] But then we just stand there and wiggle our fingers
[1415.2s] and we don't actually connect. It's perfect.
[1419.0s] And as you depart this and head towards your mother,
[1423.3s] Baroness Yaselle, the third, the third wife,
[1426.5s] Kyle, if you could please describe Baroness Yaselle.
[1430.1s] Well, quick question. Is Lord Harrison a human or an elf?
[1434.4s] He is.
[1437.2s] Well, he's let's let's say he's the elf.
[1441.8s] Yeah, but he's Elven.
[1443.9s] Yeah. OK.
[1446.0s] Then you see Baroness Yaselle bent over.
[1449.0s] She's wearing a green dress.
[1451.4s] It's like an a there's a asymmetrical aspect to it and some chiffon lace.
[1456.4s] But her hair is kind of just bent over.
[1458.1s] She's like tugging this this table to like merge it with another one,
[1463.1s] dragging it over like slowly just hurt across the floor.
[1468.3s] And it's like, Cal, darling, come, come help me with this.
[1471.6s] It's it's heavy, please.
[1473.4s] Kyle, I thought legitimately you were going to tell me
[1475.8s] that she had an A on her dress that was scarlet in color.
[1478.9s] And I was like, oh, my God, like this wedding is already off.
[1483.0s] So your mom. Oh, my God. Yeah.
[1487.6s] Oh, first off, well, lovely to see you as always.
[1492.8s] Yes. Peck on the cheek.
[1494.5s] Yeah, we're not supposed to move the furniture, though.
[1498.3s] You know that, right?
[1501.0s] We got placed.
[1502.1s] Well, I got placed to those fucking buckets and they have their new kid
[1505.9s] and Mark Wilson or something.
[1508.4s] Their grandkid. I don't know. Mark Wilson.
[1513.4s] It's their third grandson.
[1514.5s] Nobody wants to hear about it.
[1517.4s] No, I mean, it's you're more than right.
[1519.6s] I mean, maybe we won't just say that as loud as you did.
[1522.9s] Just for people that are nearby and might overhear it.
[1525.7s] But everyone agrees with you.
[1527.7s] Nobody wants to hear about it.
[1530.2s] Well, so you can you can get my spot switched, right?
[1536.0s] If you go and ask your father pretty please.
[1540.5s] And I could just honestly, I could switch some around and, you know,
[1545.0s] say it was a servant or something that got something wrong.
[1549.0s] Yeah, we can definitely we could definitely do that.
[1552.0s] You know what, though, I will.
[1553.0s] I'll just go I'll pop over and talk to him real quick
[1556.2s] and just make sure that that's like a OK.
[1560.1s] Just because I know he had some reservations.
[1562.0s] It was called like the Triangle of Sadness.
[1564.3s] He had it mapped out at one point and never between shall they twine,
[1568.9s] you know, that sort of thing.
[1570.9s] Well, ask him. I'll go ahead and get started.
[1573.7s] Oh, OK. Yeah, I'll be real quick.
[1575.4s] I'll be you better be you better.
[1577.9s] It's going to be a great day, isn't it?
[1579.4s] Are you excited?
[1580.6s] Another mom.
[1584.6s] I am excited.
[1587.1s] I mean, do you think you'll have when it's all said and done?
[1590.4s] You know, I think it's going to be about eight.
[1594.0s] Just it's been like it's picking up steam, it seems like.
[1598.0s] So it's respectable.
[1600.4s] Anyway, I'll be right back.
[1602.4s] Oh, yes.
[1603.6s] I go over and I start grabbing another table
[1605.8s] and like pulling it somewhere else, switching cards.
[1609.8s] Russ, I'm going to hustle and hustle back to sweet papa.
[1613.1s] OK, you turn and you look and you like you've clocked three of three of the wives,
[1617.6s] including your mother.
[1618.5s] And, you know, as you're heading back towards your papa, it's
[1622.3s] very clear that there's definitely one missing.
[1625.6s] You haven't seen Dame Corvella yet, which has you a little nervous
[1629.1s] that she could arrive while you're, you know, tending to things.
[1634.2s] But yeah, first thing I thought of when I said I was going to go there,
[1636.9s] I was like, oh, my God, the fourth wife's going to show up and I'm not going to be there.
[1639.7s] It's fine. All right.
[1640.7s] Tom's like, I said hustle.
[1642.9s] I hustle. I'm moving very quickly.
[1646.8s] Barry Allen, let me do a skills role.
[1649.5s] Book it back quick knock at the door and you open it.
[1652.4s] And your father's sitting in there.
[1654.6s] He's he's sitting in a chair, head and hands
[1658.6s] resting on his knees.
[1659.6s] He's like, oh, Kavlar.
[1661.0s] And he just brushes himself off.
[1663.4s] Is everything OK?
[1665.3s] Real quick, Papa, real quick.
[1667.1s] If I had to pick a table to move mother sweet mother
[1671.4s] to that would not offend her, who would you suggest?
[1675.4s] Is there a table on the patio?
[1677.3s] There might be one in the catio.
[1679.4s] Oh, oh, good one.
[1681.8s] That might seem like too much.
[1683.8s] Yeah, no, you could.
[1685.8s] Well, where did we have her place?
[1687.8s] We had her place with the buckets.
[1689.0s] They were next to the buckets.
[1690.1s] Yeah, I thought they were great friends.
[1692.1s] I thought that would be I know she doesn't want to hear about
[1694.0s] the third grandkid is the whole thing.
[1695.6s] Yeah, well, you know how she gets.
[1696.9s] Nobody wants to hear about the third grandkid.
[1698.8s] Totally get that.
[1700.3s] Perhaps the Schneider Hounds.
[1703.7s] Schneider Hounds.
[1704.4s] Yeah, the Schneider Hounds.
[1705.8s] They're placed kind of center back, center back.
[1709.1s] It is close to the bar, which is a risk.
[1711.9s] But you know what?
[1713.4s] That bar is going to be liberally used today.
[1716.1s] So I think we just we're going to try to keep everyone at the same level
[1719.5s] and we'll see how that goes.
[1720.6s] All right. Well, I hope that I hope that works out.
[1722.9s] The this everybody should be getting ready to be seated
[1725.5s] for the ceremony here very soon.
[1728.0s] Does it look like it's everybody's arriving and filling out?
[1731.8s] I mean, people people are here.
[1733.8s] Yeah. Great.
[1734.6s] So far, I've seen one, two and three.
[1736.6s] No sign of four.
[1737.5s] But I got to get back out there.
[1739.6s] Yes. No sign of Kroveliet.
[1740.8s] OK, good, good, good.
[1742.0s] Yeah. Yeah.
[1742.8s] Again. Need anything?
[1744.6s] Find Benny. Perfect.
[1746.6s] Schneider Hounds got it.
[1747.6s] Benny got it. Let's go.
[1749.4s] You book it back down and you like
[1751.8s] clocking the room.
[1752.9s] Where do we see a quick quick description?
[1756.7s] Where do we see the three of you at this moment?
[1760.4s] Lady Marison has gone to the buckets and is in.
[1764.9s] Tell me all about Marklson.
[1767.4s] I'm in raptures.
[1768.6s] Tell me all about this very important third grandson.
[1772.5s] Did you know I was forced out of my own marriage
[1776.2s] before I was able to have children of my own?
[1779.5s] So I just am filled with envy.
[1781.9s] We did hear that on child one and child two,
[1785.2s] but child three's nose seems to have been, you know,
[1788.4s] corrected itself to the good.
[1790.0s] So not the family.
[1791.5s] Not the family schnoz.
[1793.2s] No. Oh, wow.
[1795.0s] Mm hmm. Yes.
[1797.3s] Maybe a milkman involved on this one.
[1799.6s] Eyes crossed or not cross?
[1801.8s] Well, if you tap the head just lightly,
[1804.3s] they uncross themselves.
[1806.2s] Oh, perfect.
[1808.2s] Well, that's wonderful progress.
[1809.8s] I'm so happy for you.
[1811.2s] Oh, thank you. Thank you.
[1813.1s] And we transition over to Yissel.
[1816.0s] Yissel is talking to one of the one of the helpers
[1819.8s] that's setting up.
[1820.8s] She's saying, I need to introduce you to my son, Kavlaran.
[1824.8s] He absolutely would adore you.
[1826.9s] And it's a perfect day for love.
[1829.0s] It is love.
[1829.8s] But we must put these chairs back over here, miss.
[1833.7s] No, no, don't worry about it.
[1834.8s] What was your name again? Erika.
[1837.4s] Erika. Oh, such a lovely name, Erika.
[1840.6s] Why don't you come come with me?
[1842.0s] Let me introduce you to my son, Kav.
[1844.1s] I know you've got work to do, but
[1846.8s] it'll get done. Don't worry.
[1848.8s] But yes, but they're facing the other side of the facing away from the OK.
[1853.1s] OK, perhaps. Yeah.
[1855.6s] Let's stop by the bar and I'll grab a drink before we meet him.
[1858.1s] As you and Erika are walking back to the bar.
[1863.0s] Sorry.
[1867.7s] We passed by Eloin.
[1869.2s] What are you doing?
[1870.0s] Oh, Eloin is talking to the bridesmaids.
[1873.9s] So on a scale from one to ten. Yes.
[1877.0s] Like how?
[1880.0s] Like how in sync are they really?
[1882.4s] Oh, they seem to be very in sync, you know.
[1886.1s] I asked for a number.
[1887.9s] Well, I have never really quantified that.
[1892.0s] Does she know his favorite color?
[1894.6s] Does she know just the way he likes to yell?
[1900.6s] What do you mean, just the me?
[1902.3s] If she hasn't told you about it, she probably doesn't know.
[1906.4s] What about in the bedroom?
[1909.9s] It was that moment when Kav manages
[1913.1s] to like reinsert himself in this conversation.
[1916.5s] It's just getting good, Kav. Back off.
[1919.6s] You know, you know, it's a rebel yell.
[1921.5s] Eloin, that's all.
[1923.9s] Oh, oh, that's what you were referring to.
[1925.9s] Yeah, sorry, I thought we were talking about the bedroom before.
[1929.8s] Yes. No, no, no.
[1932.5s] OK, we're going to go.
[1934.4s] I think I think I. Yeah, that's good.
[1936.6s] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1938.0s] Do warn her his needs are extensive.
[1941.8s] Of course.
[1943.4s] I can't believe we missed you at the bridal shower.
[1945.6s] And like, we don't want to spoil any of the vows there, Eloin.
[1948.7s] So maybe we'll just we'll we'll head over and find your seat.
[1952.0s] Of course.
[1954.7s] I'm at the front, right?
[1956.7s] I would assume you would be.
[1958.8s] She's going to walk confidently to the front row.
[1961.0s] They always save the front row for the ex-wife.
[1963.6s] That's what I thought.
[1965.0s] Traditionally in a half-elf wedding.
[1967.8s] Kav, you are leading Eloin to her seat and see various situations around.
[1974.4s] You're still looking around.
[1975.6s] You don't see Corvella, which for you at this point is
[1980.2s] a probably a godsend.
[1982.1s] Yeah, like maybe, you know, this many wives have inviting them all to the wedding.
[1987.6s] Probably a bad idea.
[1989.4s] Who says I was invited?
[1997.3s] Dumbgeons and Dragons, season four, episode 46,
[2001.2s] starring Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave,
[2004.2s] Carla Maxted as Lady Marizon the first, Amy More as Eloin the second,
[2009.4s] Kyle Klasset as Baroness Yiselle the third, and Russ More as your dungeon master.
[2014.8s] Dialogue, editing and sound design of today's episode is by Russ More.
[2018.6s] Our community manager is Jessica Babiak.
[2021.0s] Music is from Epidemic Sound and sound effects are from Epidemic Sound,
[2025.0s] Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
[2027.2s] Our amazing cover art is by Matt Garbutt.
[2029.8s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[2032.5s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak,
[2034.4s] Angaron Kierzen, Perry Matey,
[2036.6s] Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
[2038.9s] Old School Gamer D, Craig Zeiss,
[2041.6s] L.A. Branton, Chibs1012, and Kudzu828.
[2045.7s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast,
[2049.1s] and all of our amazing community help make sure that we have adventures
[2053.0s] for you every single week.
[2055.1s] Come join us today, patreon.com slash Dumbdragoncast.
[2058.1s] We hope to see you over there and you have yourself
[2061.7s] right now a great week.
[2063.6s] Yes, and we'll talk to you very, very soon.
[2066.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.