Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin in a moment.
You're all gathered in the Brewed Awakening and Bench is getting some cold
clots for Alistair who's asleep in one of the booths and you're all just kind
of piling in around him, waiting for him to wake up, waiting for Bench to
come back with a big bucket of cold water to wake him up, any of the above.
I was just thinking about like, what if I accidentally like, tipped a glass
of water into his lap?
No, that's not how you do it.
Warm water, hand in it.
Bra in freezer.
Yeah.
Let's just prank this guy now that we've decided he might be evil.
Right.
Just sleep over antics.
He's going to wake up and he's going to be on the floor.
You know, I could cast floating disc and we could basically simulate that.
It's a good use of the first level spell slot.
Oh, he wakes up in the bathroom as one of us whispers Bloody Mary for the third
time, just dips.
Let's see what happens to us.
I have disguised self so I could make my sleepovers.
We are ready.
Absolutely.
We should have just a sleepover episode.
I know it would be fun.
Slumber party.
Oh no, they stole my kidneys.
After we stop, whatever this is, I think it's really extreme as a night
goes on, the pranks get more and more serious.
That's why you always have a bathtub of ice.
Just in case.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D and D actual play podcast, and I'm your
dungeon master, Russ More, he, him.
Also with me today is Amy More as Alydin, she, her.
Rude.
Carla Maxstead is Bonwyn Everbane, she, her.
This is how Russ calls us all out.
And Kyle Claset is Bazaar the Wizard, he, him.
I don't think I'm ready to be read yet.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon supported podcast, and we'd love for
you to join us today at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
You'll get a seven day free trial to check things out.
And now let's get right to it.
Fuck it.
Let's play.
So this is Alistair.
Asleep right now.
Yeah, but when he's sleeping, you can look through his stuff.
I just take out like a fistful of papers from his.
Messenger bag.
That's kind of what I was picturing, right?
Like an overflowing.
Satchel kind of thing, accordion portfolio.
This guy wearing any like jewelry that signifies like religious following.
Great question, Kyle.
Great question.
Make a religion check.
Literally.
Did we like.
Nope.
We didn't girl.
That's going to be a 12.
But neither did Tom.
It's not just on us.
No.
So you see before you, because I haven't described Alistair really
very well to you at all.
You, he is a, what you could describe as a youngish man, probably early
twenties, um, in his robes that he is in are like way too big for him.
Um, he does as described to have a satchel that is bulging with papers
and journals that Alydin is now pulling out and the loose scrolls
that are just tied haphazardly.
Um, he does have a set of round spectacles, um, that just kind of
perch on the end of his nose.
His hair is disheveled.
He has no, um, to your religion question, he has no prominent jewelry
with any sort of religious symbols or insignia or anything that you can see.
He does have like a very, nothing too noticeable about it.
Like chain necklace.
Would you call it mundane?
It's a mundane necklace.
Thank you.
Is he wearing a turtleneck?
Uh, he's not at this time.
Somebody get this man a light beer.
I'm going to pop his eye open and look at his, look at the color of his eye.
See if he has any of the, uh, magical graying that occurs.
He does not.
And as you kind of prop his eyes open, he wakes up quickly and he's
like, oh, oh, oh, oh, thanks.
Okay.
Thanks guys.
Sorry.
Uh, something in my eye.
Uh, it was his finger.
Oh, why?
Hi.
Who are you?
I'm Alastair Greaves.
Nice to meet you, sir.
Alastair Greaves.
I'm Bazaar'd.
What brings you to town?
I shake his hand.
Oh, well, uh, I came to town, uh, is he with you and he looks
to you, Alydin and Bonwyn?
Oh yeah.
Yes, he is.
He is the most important part.
This is your friend that you needed to talk to.
Yes.
Okay.
So clearly we have not completely caught up.
Um, I, well, I've, how would I position this?
What you tell me better match what they told me.
Yeah.
So you can get right to it and say the thing.
If you know what that is.
I do know what that is.
I'm looking for, and he looks around in the room, say it's just us.
It's quiet night at the, at the, at the bar.
I'm looking for the weeping archive.
Uh, and I believe that I've found it or at least a possible entry to it.
Um, uh, are you, are you familiar?
Are you familiar?
They said you're very magical in nature's end.
You may be studied in Kingstown.
Uh, is there, uh, are you familiar with it in your own right?
Am I?
Would I remember anything from history or my arconic studies?
Uh, you want to roll history or arcana your call, which
yeah, is this like one of those things where it's not taught in
school, but it's like a myth, you know, like the Holy Grail.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
I want to go with history.
I like that.
The idea that this is that it is magical in nature, but an archive.
Isn't that what it's called?
The weeping archive.
Yeah.
I'm going to go with history on this one.
All right.
That's a 20 fucking four.
24.
Damn.
You've been there.
You built that place.
That's why his spell book is there.
Let me take you there.
Your knowledge of it is through rumors that you heard.
From faculty and like people several years ahead of you at the school.
Right.
Um, there were no books that you could find on it.
Um, what you heard from them is the archive was a library or the
weeping archive was a library that you heard was built against the fe.
So built somewhere between the worlds, um, and only accessible through thin veils.
The archive itself was never, um, kind of the bedtime stories that you may
have heard was never meant for mortals of the material plane.
Um, it was against them or rather against the fe and it was a defense.
It was said to contain contracts, bargains, memories, and forbidden
knowledge, anything dangerous that the fe might twist.
It sounds really important.
This entire time, the first moment you said rumor has it.
I've been making a parody.
Kyle's back.
So he's got your notes.
Yeah.
Thank God.
Cause I'm just over here like,
it ain't real.
Don't worry.
I'll finish it.
Anything else I can give you with that?
That's a really good role.
I can work with that.
So, uh, I can give you this because this was this kind of, this makes sense.
Um, so you would have also heard that it was called the weeping archives
because the ink, uh, like physically weeps from the shelves, um, and
spirits bound in the books were said to be weeping or crying forever.
That sounds familiar.
I think Alistair told us that, uh, he asked me that.
I say a few hours ago, I would have told you that it's a
fairy tale meant to scare kids.
Cause think about it.
If something as powerful as a being from the fe actually had that,
why wouldn't they have already used it?
I think they do use it though.
Sorry.
Uh, you had a thought you were at a string.
No, no, go ahead.
And you, they do use it.
What are we going to say?
I think they do use it.
I think they've been using it.
And I think that there's something happening here in this town that
is, that is, that is why people are coming here to try and find
it, to try and tap into it, to, to, to, to use its power, to
use whatever, whatever contracts or binding elements are in it.
That, oh, it just,
I, I, I found more information about it.
That leads to possible openings where we could get into that.
Uh, Russ real quick, that exasperation and that does desire and drive.
What is the vibe I'm getting from him on that in that moment?
I was also, I was also wondering too now about his, now that I see
like Bazaar being skeptical and like, yes, it must be more like Bazaar.
Is it fanatical?
Like, does it seem?
Yeah, I got an 11.
Oh shit guys.
I rolled good.
Oh damn, I didn't.
I got a nine.
Oh man, I got a plus zero on it.
17.
Damn.
Proud of me.
I mean, definitely with 17, uh, you with 11 or anything below a 15,
like you're passionate, like it's passionate.
That's what you're getting from it with a 17.
You, Alydin maybe have felt this feeling that you are seeing in him now.
And that's that he has been talking to people who don't understand,
don't believe, don't trust.
And now he's talking to people who register that this could be a thing.
Not only that this could be a thing, but I've heard of this thing
and are willing to at least entertain the idea of finding this thing.
So it's like a relief, like a passionate release of like,
he's not talking to a wall.
But does it feel like good intentions behind that wanting to find it?
Cause while he's passionately talking about it, I'm more wondering
if I'm seeing that glint of greed behind his eyes.
I don't think you see any of that.
Like, I think you see somebody who's been, uh, researching this been told
these crazy, been told its stories and fairy tales, um, and has seen
like the reports coming out of Vintersmouth of all these strange and
unusual events have heard of people like going on their own expedition
to see the, the, the dream world or whatever they might call it.
Um, the weeping archive.
Um, and he's like, this is his chance, but he doesn't seem
like it doesn't seem like he is ill intent with this.
I'm looking and say, okay, say it does exist.
Say you do find it.
What then?
Well, uh, what then is, um, we burn it to the ground and I want to
look and see how he reacts to that.
I was thinking the exact same thing, Amy.
I was like, we burn it.
He, he looks at you with a little confusion.
He's like, no, no, no, no, no.
I mean, somebody, somebody may try to control it, but I don't think
it's something that can be controlled.
Like I think the, the power that is coming through into this town and
will eventually bleed into the greater world is something that needs to be stopped.
I don't know how to do that.
The books that I found in the archives back in Kingstown, they didn't,
they're all redacted.
They don't have the information on who controls it, who actually
created it and, and what they want to do with it.
So I feel like if I were to find it, that I have enough knowledge that
I would know what I'm looking for in order to shut, to shut it down,
to release people from it.
People are trapped in it.
Well, the, the, the spirits in the books, the, the, yeah, the, the, the
faith that like the entire thing is, is contracts and binding agreements.
And like, and this kind of like sparks a recent event for you,
particularly Bonwyn is you went through a very recent ritual where
there was a binding of sorts with some sort of extra planar being.
Like people make arrangements for power, for, for their own greed,
for, for good, like to save somebody they love, but they
sell their soul to this archive.
And I feel like I could save some of those people.
Okay.
Um, it's a noble pursuit.
Uh, I think, uh, again, I wouldn't have really put much thought to this 24 hours ago.
I haven't even thought about the weeping archives since school.
Um, cause yeah.
Um, but after seeing stuff like this and I flip open the thin journal and
like write it and, and show him the effects of the ink itself written
with the, uh, written with the elk ink.
It's like, after seeing this, does that disappear after he's done writing it?
Our previous entries still in the journal.
When you open it, it is blank again.
Yeah.
Sorry, Kyle.
No, you're good.
It's a good call out.
Good call out.
I didn't want, didn't think about it, but yeah, I'm going to just
write a note and I'm gonna put like, hello world.
He watches the ink smear across the page and, and he, he looks at it in like
equally delighted and also horrified.
And he says, yes, yes, this is it.
Uh, it's, it's a fragment of the weeping archives influence
right here in Vintersmouth.
Like you, you see it.
Everybody sees what it does, right?
Like the archive doesn't preserve words.
It couldn't, it consumes them and it writes them back.
This, this, this, and he puts his hands on his paper.
This is glorious.
So this is a person trapped in the book.
Well, I think so.
Like it's, it's glorious, but it's also terrifying because if it is, then
somebody is in here, somebody, somebody's, I don't, I don't know how it works.
I cast remove curse on the book.
I touch all curses affecting one creature object end.
If the object is a cursed magic item, its curse remains, but the spell breaks
its owner's attunement to the object.
So I guess I would, I would know that that's not going to.
Well, I mean, what's the point then at your touch, all curses affecting
one creature or object one creature object end.
So I guess the shot and what Bazaar would do, right?
He'd be like, here's the thing I can do.
Let's give it a shot.
Yeah.
So is this object cursed or is it a cursed magic item is the question.
So up to you, sir.
Yeah.
I would not know at this point because I haven't identified it, but my initial
reaction, knowing that there's a person trapped in this would think
that there's a curse on this book.
Yeah.
And I tried it instantly.
Welcome to the middle, everybody.
The middle.
You're in the middle.
A 2026 middle.
This is Carla's first 2026 middle.
Oh yeah.
Thanks for having me back after all that kerfuffle.
I'm glad I'm still here.
It's water under the bridge at this point.
Perfect.
That's really big of you guys.
The bruise is healing though.
You can barely see it now.
So good.
That's a joke everyone.
That's just a joke.
We didn't buy a joke.
We're all, we all love each other so much.
2025, we had various middle themes and now it's beating each other up.
It's brawl.
It's fight club.
Yeah.
Well, we're not supposed to talk about fight club.
Oh right, we're not supposed to talk about fight club.
It's a terrible middle.
Okay, so we've started the year off poorly.
I'm sorry, Brad Pitt.
What about Edward Norton?
I mean, it was really horrible though.
What about Edward Norton?
Was he there?
What about meatloaf?
Thank you Carla.
What about meatloaf?
We're bad guys.
No one asked about Jared Leto.
That's right, no one asked about that.
Jared Leto was in that?
Who?
Oh boy.
So the middle, this is obviously where we talk nonsense.
And here we are doing it and also selecting one very special
patron to dedicate the episode to.
Because that's something you get when you're a patron.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
When you join at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, you get that episode
dedication like today's patron, Theodrax.
Theodrax, that's a stunt name.
That is a dope name.
The dragon's name.
I believe now it's a dragon.
Absolutely.
Thank you for listening.
Awesome dragon listener.
That whole long dragon life that you're taking this, I mean, nine years.
We're echoing through a hoard right now.
Like it's where our voices are resounding off piles of gold.
You know how to select your treasure.
So thank you.
Oh, guys, guys, come on.
This is dragon.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, thank you, Theodrax.
And thank you for joining us here today.
patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
We hope to see you over there and now we'll get you back to the episode.
Okay.
Love you.
Bye.
Love you.
Bye.
As he's describing this, you, you cast that and as you're casting it, he
like breaks for a second and he goes, Oh, look, a brass button.
And he goes, uh, I just down beside the table and like picks it up
and he's looking at it.
He's like, what are you doing?
And as you're casting it, you see the ink begin to swirl on the
page and similar, similar to an Alydin drew on it, um, you see
it form that same, what appears to you to be the same circle, um, that
then evolves into that same door.
And it's like the, it's, it gives the perspective that you're moving
through the door and you see the ink bleed and spill out onto the
pages and across the table.
How, how big is it?
Journal book size.
Yeah, no, that's a good, good point.
Uh, so yeah, I wasn't sure.
Yeah.
Um, what did you do?
I tried to see if perhaps there was a curse on the book, holding
the spirit within to try and release it.
Um, what if the spirit within is bad?
What if it's trapped for a reason?
Like the, the perspective movement on the pages, uh, continues to evolve.
And it's like, the ink is like drying up in the center and the
white page is coming back and the ink is rolling out, uh, continuously
onto the table and like off the edge.
It is like actual liquid ink, not like ephemeral looks like ink.
It's like a liquid.
Yeah.
It's the same.
It's the same ink blood from the elk.
I'm going to try to stick my hand into the book.
Okay.
We're not doing a rescue mission.
You need to stay here.
Bazaar.
It's so curious to swat it.
Uh, you're just putting your hand on the book.
Oh, no, I'm going to try to put my hand into the book.
Oh, like into the spine.
Like, yeah, like this looks like a hole.
So I'm going to put my hand in the hole.
Yeah.
You, you do that.
Nothing happens.
Uh, your, your, your, your hand goes into the book.
It like heaves up and closes onto your hand, but ink hand.
It seems like whatever was happening has passed.
That was super dangerous.
Remember the, what if it sucked you right in or something?
The book's bite.
The book, remember that, the book's bite.
Yeah.
You need to be more careful.
We need you here.
Sorry.
That was some major curiosity.
And, um, but the book seems like it went back to normal.
Uh, yeah, it is completely blank pages.
Whatever ink that was there is now like pooled on the table and down on the ground.
Gotcha.
What about this other book that we took from the podium in the center of town?
That's just writing shit willy nilly.
That's a bigger book.
Both books have stuff writing themselves.
Yeah.
Which, which, uh, another book.
Didn't you see the book?
It was on like, uh, like a platform in the center of town and it was revealing secrets.
Well, I wasn't here.
I was, I was having a nap in a street.
It's not really a nap if you just fall asleep.
That's okay.
You don't need to pretend for us.
Yeah.
Um, yeah, we, we came back from our adventure and, um, there was a book on
a podium in the middle of town and it was just talking shit.
I opened it up on the counter.
Do you open it so that it's like facing him or like, how do you, how do you
put it?
Yeah, I mean, I'm just opening it so you can see that it's writing.
It's not facing him.
It's facing us.
Okay.
I don't know this guy.
I want to just take a quill and write on the book that has spilled all of
its ink out just to see if it does anything or is it like used up now?
Did it like spit out all of its inky stuff and now it's just a book book.
Yes.
Okay.
So a couple of things.
I write bizarre smells.
LOL.
So two things happen at once.
You turn the book, uh, to him.
You open it to the last entry, which was Alydin's.
So if you're reading the book, I could give you Alydin's as well, but
first you see that it begins to write out in front of Alastair.
He falls asleep, not from illness, but from fear.
He cannot face the silence when awake.
He said, Oh, this one, this one tells hard truths.
And then Alydin's, which you would be able to see bizarre, uh, says the
maker still dreams of the Faye who touched her and sometimes she wishes
the dream would never end.
Rude.
Yeah.
Damn.
Fuck book.
This is how Russ calls us all out.
Jesus.
Von Nguyen, take a look at this.
I don't want to be alone.
I don't think I'm ready to be read yet.
So I don't think so either.
Oh boy.
Shit.
Alastair just kind of closes it after you see that.
Um, uh, I don't, I don't, I don't know.
It's definitely seems like a similar, um, similar type of enchanted magic
or like coming from the, the, the archive, but that.
This one feels malicious for no reason.
No, no, you're right.
And who's to say it's even true.
Well, we all just exchange looks.
Bench who comes over with some beers.
He's like, that's not watered down.
I promise.
I mean, Alydin is there truth to that?
Was there something that you, that you're still holding onto from your
experience in the Fae that you want or need?
I don't know.
She's like clutching her.
The antlers.
The shiny antlers.
Like, I don't know.
I don't know.
No, you can tell us nobody remembers their dreams and dreams are just your
mind playing you a play so that you're not bored when you're sleeping.
Yeah.
You know, I'm trying to think, have we even talked about what happened
with you before we took you out of that home?
Cause I, I don't remember us covering what was going on.
No, no.
Um, I mean, I almost just said, Flint asked me, I mean, like when Cav like
came up, he was like, are you okay?
And I was like, yeah.
And that doesn't seem like an in-depth kind of discussion about,
about what you experienced and your thoughts and feelings about that.
I mean, we kind of came back and just things started happening right away,
you know, and maybe, maybe we need to talk about what was happening.
She's like sitting there uncomfortable, like shifty eye looking towards Alistair.
Like, guys, yeah, we don't need to do that now.
No, not now.
You, you maybe, I can, I can go.
No Alistair, it's fine.
We should have, I feel terrible.
Yeah, we don't, we're not trying to spring this on you.
And also, you know, like, just think about it when you're ready.
I want to lead with, I'm sorry.
I didn't ask sooner.
Me too.
Yeah.
I really agree with that.
We, we really should have prioritized that.
I'm like, I'm, I'm so fine.
You're always fine, Alydin.
You're a survivor.
You're always going to be fine.
But that doesn't mean that, you know, it isn't helpful to kind of talk about
things you've been through.
Cause it is.
Did you talk about all the things that happened at the Forge?
I mean, most.
Boom!
Listen, we all may be fine, but if we're helping each other out and we're
friends, I want to make sure my friends do better than fine.
Yeah.
Agreed.
Okay.
But maybe later.
Yeah.
Anytime.
Uh, so Alistair, what do you, you don't want to burn it down.
You want to.
Well, then.
Seal it off.
Yeah.
Seal it off.
But then are we trapping the people?
Like the spirits in there?
I don't know if what's in there can be, I don't know.
I, I, I hope I can find something like not only to like.
So you're saying that you think they've already found it.
The people who would use it for malicious intent.
Well, I think they, I think they found, I think they found some of the
same information that I have.
And I think if they want to release whatever is in there to, to, to
bind more people to gain their own power, to tap into something that
would give them something that would, would give them an edge here as this,
as whatever this is.
And he just kind of gestures to this, to the city.
That's like, that's the vibe you're getting.
Like that gives them a higher status when whichever Faye comes
through and takes over.
What do we, what do you know about the Faye?
Are there certain, are there certain symbols represented by, by beings?
Like I'm trying to think about power and how it's been, you know,
visited here, the, you know, the power over greed with Mayor Knapp's.
Yeah.
Power over knowledge by eliminating the schools.
You know, maybe there is validity to what you're saying here.
And it's been a slow creep.
Alydin has helped herself to one of the beers.
I'm not noticing.
I'm too caught up.
Honestly, she's, she's giving eyes above that glass, like say something.
Like he's listening to you, but his eyes are drawn back to the, to the,
the, the book that you found in the center of town.
Yeah.
Like, and he's like, you can tell that he like wants to open it again,
but like there's hesitation and he's like flip, like lifting the cover
and I open it for him.
His eyes are transfixed on the page and another passage begins to come
across the page and it says the ink first stained his hands years ago.
It has never washed clean.
And he's, he closes it.
Sorry.
Can I see that?
And I want to pull the book towards me and open it.
Yeah.
He lets you, he lets you, you're going to open it to yourself.
Yeah.
I guess I'll have to look and see what the book says about me too.
Curiosity.
Me too.
I'm not up for it tonight though.
No, that's fair.
Alydin, you opened the book again and beneath Alistair's two
entries in your one, it writes, she wonders if the Faye curse is not a
burden, but a gift, and she does not wish to give it up.
Reading that over your shoulder.
Right.
All right.
So you're looking at the book too.
Got it.
Oh, no, no, no.
I was like, I was kind of knowingly nudging back to what we were just
talking about.
Yeah, no, I'm not waiting.
On my turn.
I got you all primed and ready, sir.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Oh no, I did.
Come on guys.
It would be so hard to resist.
No, yeah, I definitely do it.
I just want to make sure my, my clearing my throat wasn't mistaken for
like, get the fuck out of the way.
Right.
My turn.
Got it.
Not me going around opening it in front of people.
Look at yourself.
Look at the mirror.
Shane.
Oh my goodness.
That's pretty hilarious.
I mean, I think that is what a teenager would do.
Bizarre.
I mean, Alladin had pulled out a bunch of pages from, from his, from
Alistair's bag and they're kind of just strewn across the table and
like falling, regardless of whether she was pulling them out.
Are they ink soaked now?
Yeah.
Some of them have a slight ink stain to them that rolled up across it.
Rolled up across it.
Um, but make a perception roll.
21.
As you're looking over Alladin's shoulder at the end of the table,
two things catch your eye.
On one page, which Bonwyn had already previously seen, you see a
symbol of Ashutra, scrawled onto it, which was the, which
was the deity who Bonwyn communed, or did the ritual with, um, and
you helped set up all of that.
So you would have seen that symbol.
Um, the other piece you see is off the corner of a page.
You see your last name.
Man.
The wizard.
Yeah.
I'm like, isn't that, that's, that's the mystery.
No, it's the mystery.
We wouldn't even realize that like, wouldn't even.
Yeah, actually, I would have never said my last name around y'all for reals.
Not for reals.
You have, I think you have, I don't know.
I know what it is.
Okay.
Yeah.
I know what it is, but yeah.
Yeah.
I don't think I've actually said it.
I don't think so.
I was going to say, I know everybody's last name, but bizarre.
It's like, it's not the man I live with and call magic daddy.
And I don't have a last name.
I'm sure I do.
Bizarre T whiz, huh?
T whiz guys.
Cool.
I'm not saying anything about that.
Okay.
Got it.
That's what you see.
Yeah.
Well, this got awkward.
I set my glass down to empty.
Dumbgeons and Dragons season four, episode 45, starring Amy More as Alydin, Carla
Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane, Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, Kyle Claset as Bizarre
the Wizard, and Russ More as your dungeon master.
Dialogue editing and sound design of today's episode is by Russ More.
Our community manager is Jessica Babiuk.
Music is from Epidemic Sound and sound effects are from Epidemic Sound,
Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
Our amazing cover art is by Matt Garbutt.
A huge thank you to our supporting producers, Gabriel Lynch, Jessica
Babiuk, Angaron Kierzen, Perry Matey, Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Old School
Gamer D, Craig Zeiss, L.A.
Branton, Chibs1012, and Kudzu828.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon supported podcast and all of our amazing
community help make sure that we have adventures for you every single week.
Come join us today, patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
We hope to see you over there and you have yourself right now a great week.
Yes, and we'll talk to you very, very soon.
And let's say I need to find in the book where I put more than one for each of you.
Russ just has a Google doc called like mean things to say to characters.
Private shames, private shames, reporting for duty.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production.