[0.0s] Welcome back. We missed you.
[2.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin in a moment.
[6.2s] Bizard.
[7.8s] Uh huh.
[8.8s] It's been a while.
[10.4s] Been a while.
[12.0s] Thank you.
[13.8s] You've been talking to your mom about maybe taking over like the actual
[18.4s] responsibility of the store is where we kind of left you. And if you don't
[22.3s] remember that, maybe I made it up. Maybe I didn't.
[25.4s] Sounds sounds right.
[26.9s] Sounds like something that we came to in one of those last sessions that we
[30.2s] played together. But she's actually because of the conversations that
[34.9s] you've had, the kind of arrangements throughout the story of making, she's
[39.3s] actually wanting you to meet Captain Jacob.
[46.4s] Okay.
[47.4s] So she's invited you out to dinner tonight. And this is in the terms of
[52.6s] like where we are in the episode release timeline. We're backing up a
[57.0s] little bit for our other friends that we will catch up with. But you're
[61.4s] busy getting ready. She's given you the Brewed Awakening is having a
[66.7s] prime rib buffet.
[68.2s] Oh, okay.
[70.0s] Bench.
[70.9s] Very nice.
[71.4s] So you're getting yourself ready to head out, lock up the store at the
[74.9s] end of the day. What's Bizard doing to prepare yourself to head out on
[81.0s] this?
[82.3s] Adventure of your own sort.
[84.4s] I mean, honest like that. This is this is going to be an interview for
[87.7s] Bizard. So he is like dressing like he's going to his like final
[93.0s] seminar at school. He is presenting himself to the highest degree that
[99.2s] he possibly could to use his knowledge and station to dominate this
[106.0s] conversation. That's how he's going into this.
[109.0s] So yeah, you've got cloaks on cloaks. That's right.
[112.0s] Prim and proper. Everything is quaffed. It's got a lovely haircut from
[117.5s] next door. And you're locking up the store. It's evening dusk. A few
[124.6s] people on the street, but really pretty quiet. You're making your
[127.9s] way giving yourself a little pep talk for for how you envision this
[132.2s] to go. And as you kind of round a corner onto Main Street, you
[137.5s] pass by an alley and you hear some commotion down this down the side
[144.0s] street like tweaks your ear. It doesn't it doesn't sound positive.
[149.7s] You hear someone yell out and then there's some there's a bit of a
[153.2s] scuffle that happens.
[155.3s] Yeah. I'll rush down there. I'm a businessman in this town. Got to
[159.9s] represent.
[160.9s] You run down this side street and you can it's pretty shadowy and
[166.9s] dark and you see one person on the ground up ahead of you. And
[171.4s] another taller, much heavier set man just lay a kick into this
[177.0s] person.
[179.2s] Okay.
[183.3s] I'm going to walk forward and I'm going to cast reduce to make
[188.2s] them a size smaller. And I need a constitution save DC 14 from
[192.2s] them.
[192.6s] That is a 13. So that's not gonna make it.
[196.8s] All right. He's reduced by one size and has a negative one D four
[202.4s] to any of his attacks. And I'm just going to walk him say you
[206.7s] seemed like you were such a big man before. What's what seems
[210.2s] to be the kerfuffle here?
[211.6s] As you cast this like he's laying in one more kick and
[214.1s] then you see him shrink down in size and it's like
[217.3s] surprises himself as the kick lands and he's confused and
[221.3s] turns and looks at you. Make a perception roll.
[225.2s] Okay.
[227.2s] Perception that is a five.
[230.6s] You're preoccupied.
[232.2s] Oh, yeah, I'm constant.
[234.9s] Mom's boyfriend.
[236.3s] Yeah, you can say just say new dad.
[240.9s] We'll see. It's an interview.
[242.4s] It's an interview.
[243.6s] He turns and he looks at you. And like his face is is
[248.4s] covered in shadow and he says, Hey, you the magic man.
[253.5s] I don't know. You tell me you're smaller than you were
[256.4s] a moment ago. What do you think?
[258.3s] Before you have time to react, there's a hood pulled over
[262.6s] your head.
[265.8s] And inside the hood, these runes begin to glow.
[270.6s] And you feel it cinch around your neck. And you hear
[274.0s] footsteps coming from behind you.
[278.1s] And someone pushes you to the ground. You hear one of
[281.3s] them speak up and they say you picked the wrong side rope man.
[286.0s] They lay a kick into you.
[289.0s] Shit.
[291.2s] Let's see.
[293.8s] I'm going to try to cast something. Actually, no, I
[298.7s] would observe the runes and see if I can decipher what
[302.2s] they're likely doing. Like Zard's assumption would be
[304.9s] that okay, well, this is going to keep me from using
[307.2s] verbal components of my spells.
[309.2s] Make an arcana roll.
[314.7s] Man, it's really like in those threes tonight. That's a nine.
[318.0s] You're looking at them and like you feel like you can
[323.1s] piece together like just a couple quick runes before
[328.0s] another kick slayed into you're going to take three
[330.6s] bludgeoning damage for based on the two of those. You
[334.5s] can tell because he spoke before the smaller big man
[339.5s] says, stay out of the ink wizard to drown in it.
[344.6s] The ink as these runes kind of flash across your
[347.5s] eyes, like you get a quick sense that whatever these
[351.5s] runes are doing, their goal is to stop you from
[355.6s] casting anything. As the three of them gather around
[360.0s] you, you hear a fourth set kind of get themselves up
[362.8s] off the ground. And that's where we fade out as you
[366.5s] are being laid into dope. The four of them exit out
[372.2s] into the street and one of them as they reach the edge
[375.2s] of the road, you're laying on like coughing up
[378.0s] blood. One of them yells back, Kenny's not the only
[382.4s] one watching you. You hear the footsteps fade. The
[386.8s] fuck do they mean by the ink?
[390.2s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast
[393.9s] and I'm your dungeon master Russ More, he him. Also
[397.0s] with me today is Amy More as Alydin, she her.
[400.8s] We just got here. Carla Maxstab is Bonwyn Everbane,
[404.4s] she her. I mean, you can't miss a wedding even if
[406.6s] it is the fifth. Tom Laird is Kavlaran Goldweave,
[409.7s] he him. Gorsh, hold the bow. And Kyle Claset
[413.3s] is Bazaar the Wizard, he him. One guy was big
[416.9s] but I made him small and then there was a bag
[418.8s] over my head. Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon
[421.7s] supported podcast and we'd love for you to join us
[424.0s] today at patreon.com slash dumb dragging cast.
[427.6s] You'll get a seven day free trial to check things
[429.7s] out. And now let's get right to it. Fuck it.
[432.8s] Let's play. We're gonna cut ahead. It's been a
[442.0s] couple days catching up to where everybody else
[446.4s] is. Kavlaran, Bonwyn and Alydin, you've just
[451.2s] returned from this, what was supposed to be a
[454.5s] camping excursion going out to find this ghost
[457.2s] elk. You arrive back in town with some of your
[461.8s] findings. I'll leave you to kind of describe
[464.9s] those as we're reunited with some with some
[467.9s] friends in a moment. And there's this this
[471.0s] large gathering in the center of town. There's
[475.0s] this lectern that you've never seen it
[477.7s] before, but there are people like looking into
[480.3s] the book and there's shock and confusion on a lot
[483.8s] of their faces. And one woman who we said her
[488.2s] name was Melody Shore, who is a younger girl in
[493.2s] town, often has worked part time, we said,
[496.5s] with Neven. She yells after reading in the
[500.2s] book. It can't be true. It's not true. I
[503.0s] swear. And she storms off as more people
[506.2s] gather around and there's this growing
[509.4s] cacophony of confusion. And as that happens, a
[515.7s] rather royal looking page comes up to the three
[519.2s] of you and has this this large envelope in
[523.5s] their hands. And they immediately like you see
[526.4s] them, catch them out of the corner of your
[528.1s] eye and they like clock on to Kavlaran. And
[530.8s] they quickly walk up to him, hand him the
[533.6s] letter and say, You've been cordially
[535.4s] invited to your father's fifth wedding.
[538.2s] Kavlaran looks down at it and he shrugs and
[541.4s] says, What can I say? He loves love. And the
[546.6s] page says, What a Tom answer. We must go
[550.7s] now. Quick, post haste. We have to make the
[552.8s] next ship. And Kavlaran looks at you too
[556.1s] and says, Gorsh, hold the boat. And heads
[560.2s] off to the boat with the page. What?
[562.8s] See ya. I mean, you can't miss a wedding, even
[567.9s] if it is the fifth one. Oh, my God. We
[572.9s] really could use his help around here,
[574.4s] though. Across the way, you see a little
[579.0s] bit, well, definitely more shrunken than
[583.4s] usual. You see Bazaard enter from the
[586.4s] other side, surveying the scene, not
[589.4s] really clocking you two yet. Oh, thank
[591.7s] goodness. Oh, thank goodness. Alydin, look,
[595.7s] look, we have. Oh, my God. Oh, thank
[598.2s] God. I mean, we're just, yeah, we're
[599.9s] just going. Well, I'm kind of limping.
[602.5s] I did get, I have not gotten a bandaid
[606.1s] yet. I am very hurting. Why? What
[613.6s] happened to you? Oh, um. Before you
[616.5s] answer, you look at Bazaard, he's got
[618.4s] like a black eye, he's bruised, like
[621.0s] he's like cradling an arm, like he looks
[624.7s] like he, too, has been through some
[626.4s] things. What happened to you? Are you
[631.5s] OK? You look not well. I have so
[635.2s] many things I need to ask you. But
[636.7s] first of all, how are you? Are you
[639.2s] OK? I'm doing good. Who did this? You
[645.0s] know, honestly, I can't say their
[648.4s] name because I didn't get it. What do
[651.5s] they look like? One guy was big, but I
[655.4s] made him small and then there was a bag
[657.1s] over my head. That made me. I think I
[662.6s] couldn't cast spells if I wanted to.
[664.6s] How small? She's thinking maybe she
[667.9s] can take this. Oh, no, it's no,
[670.6s] not at this point. I would have worn
[672.4s] off. But what is going? I'm fine.
[675.3s] Thank you. I appreciate it. I will be
[677.0s] OK. There's other things I want to
[679.9s] talk to you about. Maybe you know,
[682.0s] maybe you don't. But what is
[683.6s] happening here?
[684.9s] Alydin, do you? Well, you go.
[688.3s] I'll add. She kind of like lifts her
[691.4s] bloody hands off of her bloody torso
[695.8s] and is like there was a mean ghost
[701.8s] elk and they stabbed me. Mm hmm.
[705.5s] And. It was made, it was, it was
[712.3s] bleeding ink and there were all these
[716.2s] papers and we met this guy.
[719.4s] This happened first.
[720.2s] We met this guy, Alistair, Alistair
[722.8s] out all the sleep all the time.
[725.5s] Yes, narcolepsy.
[727.1s] Over by the book, as you're
[728.4s] describing this, there's an eruption.
[731.1s] Someone screams, you lie and
[733.0s] cheat. And you look over and you see
[737.1s] another man, Rufus Douglas, who is a
[740.4s] local farmer in Vintersmouth.
[742.7s] He takes a swing at Bench.
[744.7s] Oh, no, come on, hey, what the
[748.0s] hell's in that book?
[749.8s] I want to run up and see the book.
[751.7s] Nosey as fuck.
[753.1s] You all make your way over there.
[755.4s] Bazaar and Bonwyn trying to break
[757.2s] up Bench and this Rufus.
[759.7s] Alydin, you go look at the book
[761.3s] and inside the book, the latest entry,
[765.4s] it looks like it's written in very
[768.2s] nice calligraphy.
[770.4s] It says, Bench waters down the
[773.8s] ale when he thinks no one will
[775.6s] notice.
[776.5s] Is this a burn book?
[778.6s] The phrase before it, what you
[782.3s] can presume was Melody's, she
[786.0s] dreams of another's bed, even as
[788.6s] she vows loyalty.
[790.4s] What?
[791.0s] Scandalous.
[793.1s] I'm going to I'm going to take the
[794.6s] book and I'm going to close it.
[796.0s] As you close it, it begins to write.
[799.9s] Do you wait?
[802.3s] No, I slam it.
[804.0s] I think that Alydin has worked
[805.5s] with enough tricky books with
[808.1s] Bazaar to know that a book can be
[810.9s] dangerous.
[812.1s] The words that you do see before
[813.8s] you slam it are the maker still
[816.4s] dreams and it continues to write.
[820.0s] I'll read that later.
[821.8s] This is just this is going to cause
[823.3s] trouble.
[823.8s] And I thrust it into Bazaar's one
[826.0s] good arm.
[827.9s] The whole town behind you begins
[830.4s] to erupt like, hey, what are you
[831.9s] doing?
[832.8s] You don't even know if any of
[834.0s] this is true.
[835.2s] Oh, you guys are all just
[836.6s] causing a big problem.
[840.6s] Few people like throw punches at
[842.3s] each other like this is very
[845.1s] unusual for for this town.
[847.6s] The friends.
[848.8s] Yeah.
[849.2s] I'm getting caught up in it right
[850.3s] now.
[850.8s] A couple town guards come finally.
[855.8s] There were a few in the mix, but
[857.2s] they seem to have been caught up
[858.8s] in whatever whatever stirring
[860.6s] everybody up.
[861.3s] But a few more come and like
[862.7s] knock them out of it and they
[864.8s] begin dispersing the crowd.
[867.0s] I mean, we'd need to take this
[868.0s] book, right?
[869.0s] Can't just give it to them.
[871.6s] We can't just leave it here for
[872.6s] people to get in fights.
[876.2s] Seems to be a bad book.
[878.6s] A bad book.
[879.9s] Have you all seen this before?
[881.4s] This is no.
[883.6s] We just got here.
[885.0s] Yeah, lots of bad, lots of book
[886.8s] things, though, going on.
[888.4s] Maybe this is why they close
[889.8s] the schools.
[890.6s] I don't know.
[892.4s] Here, books make you gay.
[898.6s] Is this true?
[900.4s] Bizarre.
[901.0s] I read about it somewhere.
[902.5s] That's OK.
[903.2s] I was already gay.
[906.3s] Welcome to the middle,
[907.1s] everybody.
[908.3s] Well, it's the middle.
[909.0s] I didn't even see you.
[911.0s] And it even has I didn't either.
[912.7s] Just yeah, you were busy.
[915.0s] I was a minute and 35 seconds ago,
[917.1s] man. Where you been?
[918.2s] That was that was that other podcast
[919.8s] you were trying to pitch.
[920.5s] Bird talk, bird talk.
[923.2s] And he's not going to budge on that.
[927.4s] Ooh, I get that.
[930.5s] Hey, we're a little cuckoo over here.
[933.3s] OK, did you miss us?
[935.9s] Yeah, absolutely.
[938.2s] Yeah, yeah, we did.
[939.4s] We're glad to be back in this this year,
[942.1s] which is twenty twenty six,
[944.1s] which somebody just joined
[945.0s] the discord not too long ago
[946.2s] and said they were listening
[947.0s] to an episode in season one,
[949.3s] maybe where we mentioned twenty
[951.1s] twenty six.
[951.9s] And I was recorded in like twenty
[953.9s] twenty twenty seventeen or twenty
[955.8s] eighteen. So like future premonition.
[958.7s] I don't know what the context was,
[960.0s] but we were talking about it.
[961.1s] So I think flying cars
[964.5s] and everyone's living on the moon.
[965.8s] Yeah, well, I nailed it 100 percent.
[968.1s] Yeah, we've done no wrong.
[970.1s] I think that's yeah,
[971.0s] that's the only future premonitions
[972.5s] anybody can ever have is one time
[975.0s] they're going to be right, though.
[976.6s] Yeah, maybe we can be right.
[978.5s] All right. Twenty thirty eight.
[979.9s] If you're listening to this in twenty
[981.0s] thirty eight and there's flying cars,
[983.7s] come into the discord
[984.6s] and tell us that we were right.
[987.0s] We finally did it.
[988.2s] Finally, finally did it.
[989.9s] Twenty thirty eight.
[991.4s] Yeah, which which brings me
[993.3s] to another fun point,
[995.5s] which Google reminded me is this
[998.0s] January, of course, celebrates
[999.7s] the anniversary of this
[1001.1s] Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[1002.7s] And we're in our
[1005.6s] a ninth year.
[1006.6s] So then next year is our tenth year.
[1009.5s] So we got to plan something big.
[1011.1s] Oh, damn.
[1012.0s] For our tenth year of the show.
[1013.4s] Oh, we got to start thinking about it.
[1014.9s] And so do you guys.
[1016.0s] I'll work time.
[1016.8s] What do we got there?
[1017.7s] Yeah, I don't.
[1018.5s] I didn't look that far ahead.
[1020.5s] I've just thought of the concept
[1022.1s] of thinking of an idea, Tom.
[1023.8s] So here's what we do.
[1025.0s] We get together.
[1026.0s] Everyone we've ever played with.
[1028.7s] Oh, my God, that's a lot of people.
[1030.1s] I know the boy.
[1031.1s] And that's all I've got.
[1033.0s] OK, Kyle.
[1034.4s] And then we do what?
[1035.5s] I'm sorry.
[1036.7s] Actually, you know, you're good.
[1039.4s] We have to write an entire like ten.
[1042.6s] No, never mind, Tom, go.
[1045.0s] OK, we fly.
[1048.3s] Everyone we've ever played with
[1049.9s] to five star resort in Hawaii
[1052.8s] and we all hang out for a week.
[1054.3s] Oh, I love it.
[1055.8s] OK, so, yeah, my idea.
[1058.6s] Yeah, your idea was work.
[1063.8s] I'm always going to choose
[1064.7s] vacation over work.
[1065.9s] Always. Yeah.
[1067.8s] Yeah, that's fair.
[1069.3s] But you know what?
[1069.9s] Also, I will always choose our listeners
[1072.4s] over our non listeners.
[1074.4s] Oh, yeah.
[1076.2s] For listening to us
[1077.5s] because the non listeners will never know.
[1081.0s] They'll never know.
[1082.0s] How could they know?
[1082.5s] They can't know unless you tell them
[1084.1s] to come listen and then through inception
[1087.5s] or osmosis or some other
[1091.1s] persuasion, threats,
[1094.2s] any of the above, they'll become listeners
[1096.3s] and then they'll know.
[1098.4s] OK, what are we talking about here?
[1100.6s] Well, I mean, that's the middle.
[1102.2s] I think we've talked about it,
[1103.3s] but what we haven't done
[1104.4s] is dedicate it to one of our patrons.
[1106.7s] Let's do it.
[1107.5s] So today's episode, which you're
[1110.9s] we would love for you to come join us
[1112.4s] at Patreon dot com slash dumb dragging cast
[1115.9s] where when you are a patron,
[1117.6s] you get an episode dedicated to you
[1119.2s] like today's patron, Les Wenzel.
[1123.4s] Thanks, Les.
[1124.9s] Oh, Les, thank you so much.
[1126.6s] Amazing. Amazingly awesome.
[1129.2s] In that.
[1132.2s] Shout out from Loki.
[1134.0s] Our dog.
[1134.8s] Yeah, let's go.
[1136.7s] But you can join us like Les again.
[1139.8s] Patreon dot com slash dumb dragging cast.
[1142.0s] Help us fund this Hawaii was a Hawaii trip.
[1145.3s] Maybe it could not be Hawaii.
[1146.5s] Maybe it could be.
[1148.5s] Greece.
[1149.5s] Oh, sure. All right.
[1150.8s] Mecanos. Yes, here we go.
[1152.3s] Mm hmm. There we go.
[1153.4s] So see myself in Greece.
[1155.4s] Help us fund this 10th anniversary,
[1158.0s] something that we're going to do.
[1160.8s] And you two can get an episode
[1163.0s] dedicated to you, as well
[1163.9s] as a whole bunch of other bonus content.
[1165.3s] But that said, we'll get you back to the episode.
[1168.2s] Thank you so much for being here.
[1169.4s] Excited to be back for the new year.
[1172.2s] Hopefully you are having a wonderful time
[1174.2s] and we'll talk to you soon.
[1174.9s] Love you. Bye.
[1175.8s] We did it. Love you. Bye.
[1179.2s] I. Thanks, guys.
[1180.7s] Thanks, guys. I'm sorry.
[1182.5s] I. Are you OK?
[1185.7s] Yeah, I feel like I'm asking people,
[1187.0s] are you OK?
[1187.8s] Way too much.
[1188.9s] Benj, where did this book come from?
[1190.6s] I don't know.
[1192.2s] I was I was working and
[1195.1s] I mean, to be fair, it's he's not wrong.
[1198.6s] It's not wrong.
[1199.9s] I do and I'm sorry.
[1201.8s] But like, I don't know.
[1203.4s] I think it's just a crowd started started gathering.
[1206.5s] And then I came out and then this this
[1210.1s] stand was here with a book on top and.
[1214.5s] Uh, I don't know where it came from.
[1217.1s] It's been lots of lots of strange people in town.
[1220.0s] Like like Alastair.
[1222.0s] Yeah, Alastair, there was another guy
[1224.2s] who left a book, a different book at the at the bar.
[1228.7s] I thought he'd come back for it, but I haven't seen him since.
[1231.3s] Do you have it?
[1233.8s] Yeah, probably.
[1234.6s] It's underneath the counter.
[1236.2s] Lost and found.
[1237.5s] I'll be right back.
[1238.0s] We should look at that.
[1239.3s] Yeah, you kind of push through some people.
[1241.6s] Someone like takes a one last swing towards Benj
[1245.4s] and before they're pulled away by one of the guards.
[1249.9s] This is this is bad, guys.
[1251.1s] This is it's good insight.
[1252.2s] I've taken the book with me.
[1254.0s] For sure.
[1254.6s] We're in Benj's accent.
[1256.6s] Do you get punched?
[1257.4s] Did it get punched out of it?
[1258.6s] I got punched out of it.
[1260.3s] Now he's got a normal voice.
[1262.5s] Why? It's only in the bar.
[1264.4s] Somebody else punch him in his bench.
[1266.7s] Yes. Oh, my God.
[1267.8s] No, I've become a custom post.
[1273.6s] Yeah, let's go inside.
[1274.7s] I've got that book under the desk.
[1277.3s] He lets you in and locks it behind you.
[1280.1s] And I think we should close early for the night.
[1284.4s] And he goes behind and pulls out.
[1288.6s] Where did that book go?
[1291.9s] Oh, you said it was under the counter.
[1294.2s] In lost and found.
[1295.2s] Lost and found. Yeah.
[1297.1s] That's where it went.
[1298.2s] He pulls out this slim leather bound journal.
[1300.9s] There's no title on the cover.
[1302.6s] He says, I don't know.
[1304.3s] They left it a few nights ago.
[1307.1s] If you want it, you can have it.
[1308.9s] It gives customers the heebie jeebies.
[1311.6s] Was it the sleepy guy?
[1313.0s] No, no, Alistair, your friend?
[1315.3s] Not Alistair? A different guy.
[1317.4s] Different guy, yeah.
[1319.5s] Okay.
[1320.4s] What did he look like?
[1321.3s] Yeah, he was kind of tallish.
[1325.7s] A little bit taller than Bazaard.
[1328.0s] He had a dark cloak, a long nose.
[1334.0s] Like I only say that because it was unusually long.
[1336.8s] I mean, it was a normal nose,
[1338.1s] but it was kind of long.
[1340.0s] Big bushy eyebrows.
[1344.5s] Olive skin.
[1346.3s] He looked like he was, I don't know,
[1348.2s] kind of my age, which is like 30-ish.
[1351.5s] 80, oh, 30.
[1352.8s] Yeah, no, 30-ish, maybe 40, maybe closer to 50.
[1359.3s] He's an age.
[1361.2s] He stopped in, had a couple drinks,
[1363.6s] and then just, you know,
[1365.1s] he had a couple different things with him,
[1366.7s] met with somebody, and then left.
[1369.2s] And this one, he left this one here.
[1373.8s] I take the book, lay it on the counter, and open it up.
[1377.6s] So you open the book, and all the pages,
[1381.4s] it kind of flipped past a few,
[1383.6s] just to kind of get to a center point,
[1385.4s] and everything is blank.
[1387.8s] And as you look at it,
[1389.9s] words begin to scrawl themselves
[1393.0s] in shaky ink handwriting, forming an entry.
[1398.7s] That reads,
[1400.4s] the maker dreams of chains that bind the waking world.
[1406.6s] As you look back, you see that Alydin
[1408.6s] has kind of like poked herself up and over,
[1412.2s] and her eyes are locked onto the page as well.
[1415.5s] The maker.
[1416.7s] So there's this thing called the Weeping Archive.
[1419.6s] Oh, right.
[1420.5s] We haven't had a chance to explain
[1421.9s] because of the book and the punching,
[1423.3s] and Bench losing his accent.
[1427.3s] Devastating.
[1429.3s] Alistair told us about the Weeping Archive,
[1431.6s] and he's looking for it, and it's like this,
[1434.2s] I don't know, all the world's knowledge or something?
[1438.2s] Okay, and where did this Alistair person come from,
[1441.0s] and how did you end up talking to them?
[1443.0s] Oh, great question.
[1444.2s] Oh, we saved all of his stuff.
[1446.7s] He fell asleep, and then.
[1448.5s] He has narcolepsy, so he fell asleep,
[1450.3s] his bag, everywhere.
[1451.6s] I caught him, so he didn't get a head injury.
[1454.2s] We started picking up all of his stuff,
[1456.7s] and he is like a scribe, I guess, and.
[1460.7s] A scholar of some kind.
[1461.8s] A scholar of some kind.
[1462.8s] He had a bag just chock full of books,
[1464.9s] all kinds of books,
[1466.1s] and he's looking for the Weeping Archive,
[1468.1s] and then we thought, well, I don't know,
[1470.2s] maybe that's a fun adventure we could go on,
[1472.3s] but first let's go on this fun camping cosplay adventure
[1477.0s] with the old guys,
[1477.9s] and then the elk thing happened with Alydin.
[1481.0s] I should probably get this taken care of.
[1483.2s] Yeah, we should head, yeah.
[1486.5s] Did I hear something about bleeding ink earlier?
[1489.9s] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1491.1s] So we were looking for a ghost elk, found it,
[1494.3s] when it bled ink,
[1496.5s] and also there was random pages all over the forest.
[1501.6s] And the wind was saying stuff.
[1504.8s] Yeah.
[1505.8s] All of this is to say, my god, we missed you.
[1511.1s] Oh, wait.
[1511.9s] I have so many questions.
[1513.5s] The archives.
[1514.7s] The archives.
[1516.5s] Are meant to close the gap
[1520.0s] that is being made bigger between our world
[1523.6s] and the fae world.
[1525.0s] Yeah, so it's kind of important maybe
[1526.5s] that we go and help with that
[1527.8s] because we need to stop all those super weird things
[1531.7s] that have been happening.
[1532.8s] Yeah.
[1534.2s] Okay, Bizarre, you look back at the book
[1538.2s] and there's another phrase that has written itself
[1541.9s] since you've been talking,
[1543.4s] and it says the wizard's spell book
[1546.2s] is already on the shelf.
[1548.8s] What does that mean?
[1550.0s] I don't know.
[1553.1s] I don't know if that's referring to me
[1555.7s] or another wizard.
[1559.8s] So I have a couple of things coming together
[1563.0s] and it involves, now that we're here,
[1564.8s] it involves the event I had the other night
[1569.8s] that caused all these things.
[1571.4s] So I don't know why,
[1573.8s] but they kicked my ass and said,
[1576.6s] stay out of the ink.
[1579.4s] Oh.
[1580.2s] And I don't know why they would say that,
[1583.6s] but they're not,
[1584.6s] I was expecting Kenny's people,
[1587.6s] but they said Kenny's not the only one watching me.
[1592.4s] Real bummer of it all is I did not get
[1595.7s] the delicious prime rib from the other night.
[1598.2s] Oh, the buffet.
[1599.0s] Oh, it was so good.
[1600.6s] Ah, that's where you were.
[1602.3s] Uh-huh, bleeding.
[1603.6s] The whole town was writing about it.
[1605.3s] I'm so sorry.
[1606.3s] Oh, I'll get it another time,
[1608.7s] but did y'all happen to collect any of the ink blood?
[1615.2s] Yes, and I hold up my bucket,
[1617.4s] which is stuffed full of not only the regular accoutrement
[1622.2s] that one holds in a bucket,
[1623.6s] but also ripped pages of journals
[1628.5s] and two vials of inky blood.
[1634.0s] Oh, right, yes, and I do,
[1635.4s] I have elk antlers that I'm just kind of dragging around
[1639.5s] like a backpack at this point.
[1641.3s] They're mine and they glow.
[1643.6s] Sick.
[1644.7s] Are you making them glow?
[1646.4s] No.
[1647.3s] Well, good, let's work on you then.
[1650.1s] So yeah, if you let me see that ink real quick.
[1653.6s] So I'm thinking of a few things,
[1654.8s] and I'm pulling out a quill
[1656.2s] while I'm prepping this ink
[1657.4s] as if to use it for writing.
[1660.8s] We've had a couple of very strange events.
[1664.2s] The very first one being the monsters coming from the cave.
[1668.4s] Perhaps this is part of the gap that's being referenced.
[1674.8s] That could be a reference to that.
[1677.3s] We have the maker still dreaming,
[1680.0s] or the maker dreams of chaos
[1682.9s] that binds the waking world.
[1686.0s] Who's the last person that we know
[1687.6s] tried to bring chaos and binding to the waking world?
[1691.8s] Like the banjo man?
[1693.2s] Yeah.
[1694.1s] Yeah, we also, there was that entrance too,
[1696.2s] like through the tree when we went to see the banjo man.
[1698.6s] So there's some, there's a few options for.
[1702.6s] Well, and Alistair said that it could be starting
[1705.3s] to kind of happen anywhere.
[1707.8s] Yeah.
[1709.9s] And more often,
[1711.0s] like people have been seeing some really weird stuff.
[1714.6s] Yeah.
[1715.5s] Like smoke in the shape of animals,
[1718.4s] like teeny mushrooms that are grown on the food,
[1723.2s] like lanterns. Candles.
[1724.7s] Yeah, burning with no oil.
[1727.2s] And, you know, looking in a mirror
[1730.5s] and seeing like a forested background.
[1732.9s] The river was singing.
[1735.4s] Yeah.
[1736.7s] So many weird things have been happening.
[1738.2s] It's almost hard to keep track of it all, but.
[1741.8s] I'm thinking though that nature talks a lot.
[1744.2s] The river singing, then the wind whispering.
[1748.3s] Bazaar, you would have seen a lot of these.
[1751.4s] Bazaar, you would have seen a lot of these,
[1753.6s] like town happenings,
[1755.5s] like written in the Vintersmouth Gazette.
[1758.4s] Okay.
[1761.1s] Sorry if this has been answered and I'm forgetting it,
[1764.6s] but why did you go kill a ghost elk?
[1769.0s] Oh.
[1771.3s] So Folin Verham, that nice older man who was my new client
[1776.0s] and I was making all that stuff for him,
[1777.7s] his other adventuring friends all came,
[1780.2s] kind of a group of retirees out for an adventure,
[1782.6s] you know, inexperienced, I would say.
[1786.6s] And a couple of them and one of their, I don't know,
[1790.6s] butlers said, you guys should come.
[1792.6s] We're going to find this ghost elk,
[1794.6s] you know, go out for a couple of days.
[1796.0s] We thought it would be kind of nice, you know,
[1798.7s] like kind of a camping trip.
[1801.4s] And we were kind of testing them out because they were like,
[1803.3s] why don't you come adventuring with us?
[1805.4s] Yes, they invited us to go adventuring.
[1807.4s] And we're like, well, let's see if we like this.
[1809.8s] We didn't like it.
[1811.3s] We didn't like it.
[1812.1s] It was for boring reasons and then blood reasons.
[1818.1s] Sport.
[1819.0s] One of them like moved out of the way
[1821.6s] and then I got hit by an elk.
[1824.1s] Yeah.
[1825.8s] Yeah, so we will not be going adventuring with them.
[1828.2s] They're not even taking care of,
[1829.6s] are not a child, but still a young person friend, Alydin.
[1833.6s] So that's how we ended up out there having an adventure.
[1838.2s] But we did not, we were just like,
[1841.4s] we didn't go out to like kill anything.
[1844.1s] No, no, no, we just wanted to see the ghost elk.
[1846.4s] And it looked so cool.
[1848.8s] It did look so cool.
[1849.6s] But then it looked at us and like, we weren't cool.
[1853.6s] And then it's antlers were dripping
[1855.4s] like black blood ink stuff.
[1857.5s] And then it just lost it.
[1859.8s] It lost it.
[1861.6s] As they're telling me this,
[1862.8s] I dip the quill into the blood ink
[1864.6s] and I write into the book, who are you?
[1867.7s] As the ink touches the paper,
[1869.7s] like you get to the end of the phrase
[1872.3s] and the ink behind it begins to smear across the paper.
[1877.1s] And then it begins to form entangled glyphs.
[1883.8s] There's definite familiarity to a lot
[1886.9s] of like the glyphs and runes that you've seen
[1889.0s] over these last events that you've been talking about.
[1891.8s] In the hood?
[1892.7s] In the hood.
[1894.1s] In the hood, in the hood?
[1896.0s] Yeah.
[1897.1s] Yeah, there definitely are some similarities
[1901.0s] to the one, there are some similarities
[1903.8s] to some of the ones you saw in the hoods,
[1905.2s] but definitely more so in the fey.
[1908.6s] Like the ones you saw written across the path
[1910.6s] and that sort of thing.
[1912.3s] It forms into these tangled glyphs.
[1914.7s] You don't know what they're saying.
[1917.3s] What they're saying.
[1918.2s] But there's something trying to communicate back.
[1921.0s] Appears that way or may appear that way.
[1923.8s] And as it does so,
[1927.9s] you pick up a faint smell of burnt parchment.
[1932.2s] Can I like see what he's writing?
[1935.8s] I'm not hiding it yet, it's open on the counter.
[1938.3s] What if you drew a picture?
[1941.6s] I spin the book around and hand you the pen.
[1944.9s] What if you drew a picture?
[1948.0s] Art, art with tallies thing.
[1951.0s] And I draw very crude sketches
[1956.9s] of like a deer's head with antlers
[1962.5s] and then a question mark beside it.
[1965.6s] And then a happy face with a question mark
[1968.6s] or a sad face with a question mark.
[1973.0s] Because how do you communicate with someone
[1975.0s] who doesn't speak the same language as you?
[1976.8s] I mean math, I guess.
[1978.8s] But I don't know math.
[1980.5s] I didn't have a lot of schooling.
[1982.4s] Exactly.
[1983.2s] So, hence these pictures.
[1986.0s] There were no art classes.
[1988.2s] Yeah, so you draw pictures of the deer or the elk,
[1992.3s] I assume is what you're reflecting.
[1994.6s] Happy, sad and similar,
[1997.9s] same thing as with Bazaar.
[1999.9s] Like the ink smears itself behind you
[2004.6s] as you are writing it.
[2009.2s] And instead of what did,
[2013.0s] I mean you couldn't read it,
[2014.1s] but what did look like it was maybe writing a phrase.
[2018.3s] Like it draws this circle
[2022.6s] that is made up of tiny runes,
[2026.8s] tiny glyphs that go all around this circle.
[2031.1s] Then they smear to form this doorway
[2039.4s] that opens into blackness.
[2046.8s] I have, and I'm searching through my bucket frantically
[2050.0s] for a piece of paper and I read,
[2051.7s] the archivist will fall asleep and dreams the door open.
[2055.8s] At that, you hear a fast knock at the window.
[2061.9s] And Bench looks over top of everybody.
[2064.7s] He's just been kind of standing there.
[2066.0s] He served you drinks and like just kind of standing there
[2068.7s] watching everything happen.
[2070.6s] But looks over at the window
[2072.1s] and he points before anybody turns around.
[2074.8s] He says, that's your friend from the other night?
[2078.6s] You turn and you look and you see Alistair
[2081.4s] and he's like waving.
[2082.7s] I'm already running so I can catch him if I need to.
[2085.1s] Yeah, before you can even get there,
[2087.8s] like his eyes roll back and he falls to the ground.
[2091.5s] Oh, speak of the devil.
[2093.8s] I really tried.
[2095.3s] Dumbgeons and Dragons, season four, episode 44,
[2098.6s] starring Amy More as Alydin.
[2101.2s] Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane.
[2103.6s] Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave.
[2106.0s] Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard
[2108.3s] and Russ More as your dungeon master.
[2110.6s] Dialogue editing and sound design
[2112.2s] of today's episode is by Russ More.
[2114.5s] Our community manager is Jessica Babiak.
[2116.9s] Music is from Epidemic Sound
[2118.8s] and sound effects are from Epidemic Sound,
[2120.9s] Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
[2123.0s] Our amazing cover art is by Matt Garbutt.
[2125.8s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[2128.2s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak,
[2130.2s] Ongarong Kierzen, Perry Matey,
[2132.5s] Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
[2134.7s] Old School Gamer D, Craig Zeiss,
[2137.4s] L.A. Branton, Chibs1012 and Kudzu828.
[2141.6s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast
[2144.9s] and all of our amazing community help make sure
[2147.4s] that we have adventures for you every single week.
[2150.8s] Come join us today, patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
[2153.8s] We hope to see you over there
[2155.2s] and you have yourself right now a great week.
[2159.4s] Yes, and we'll talk to you very, very soon.
[2163.0s] Do we see him?
[2164.4s] Yeah.
[2165.3s] Okay, we see him.
[2166.1s] He doesn't see us.
[2166.9s] Correct, yes.
[2167.8s] Sorry, my brain just reversed that.
[2170.5s] Nobody sees anybody.
[2171.9s] You're all blind.
[2172.8s] We all just stand around not looking at each other.
[2176.1s] Perfect.
[2177.1s] Masturbation does cause blindness.
[2182.8s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.