[0.0s] Do you know the secret knock?
[2.6s] No, you don't need it.
[3.4s] Dumbgeons and Dragons will start in just a second.
[5.4s] Hang out right there.
[9.4s] You're all quickly moving through the forest as quietly as you can.
[13.9s] Some of us are very quiet, but does that matter with these gentlemen with us?
[19.0s] Yeah, if I'm rolling an imaginary nat 20.
[23.6s] Yeah.
[23.9s] And they're not.
[25.3s] Say you're secretly a rogue and you're very stealthy.
[28.6s] Yeah.
[28.8s] When you roll a group roll to try and be as stealthy as possible,
[32.8s] at least half of you have to do the good thing.
[36.1s] There are three of you who could potentially do the good thing,
[38.9s] and three of you who, four of you who can't.
[42.6s] Like just auto fail.
[44.1s] Folan could be good.
[45.1s] Steuben could be good.
[46.4s] Folan and Steuben could be good.
[47.8s] Okay.
[48.1s] Steuben's carrying all the stuff.
[50.0s] Steuben's okay.
[52.3s] Yeah.
[52.9s] Yeah.
[53.8s] No.
[54.8s] No, not so much.
[55.9s] Yeah.
[56.8s] In fact, it's even worse because who's following in behind everybody.
[61.7s] There is another story that's coming from from Rudger in like a stage whisper.
[67.6s] He's like the elves once offered me a general ship.
[71.5s] You know, as I said, I had the finest strategic mind they'd ever seen.
[76.4s] Of course, I turned them down loyalty to Kingstown.
[80.0s] Of course.
[81.4s] What else?
[83.0s] And then what happened?
[88.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast,
[91.5s] and I'm your dungeon master Russ More, he, him.
[94.3s] Also with me today is Amy More as Alydin, she, her.
[98.2s] You've stabbed the most things in the butt.
[100.2s] Carla Maxstab is Bonwyn Everbane, she, her.
[103.4s] You don't have Elko on your list?
[105.0s] And Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, he, him.
[107.9s] Even for a reader, a voracious reader like Kav.
[110.8s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon supported podcast and you can join today,
[115.0s] or better yet, put it on your Christmas wish list because
[118.6s] your friends and family can gift you a one to 12 month membership to come join the community.
[124.4s] Find out more details at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast slash gift
[129.4s] for all the greatest gift ideas this holiday season.
[132.4s] And now, fuck it, let's play.
[137.4s] Who's leading this, this, this charge?
[141.4s] Let's place ourselves in, like, you're following a path, like,
[145.1s] you could maybe go two by two, but, like, who's, who's at the front here pursuing the elk?
[150.9s] I feel like, yeah, I am a dwarf, so I only have a 25 foot walking speed,
[156.6s] so I am probably realistically not at the front.
[158.6s] You're bringing up the rear with stupid and rudgered at this point.
[161.9s] Which, I gotta tell you, is extremely frustrating.
[165.4s] Yes, yeah.
[167.0s] I can't see anything past them.
[169.0s] I can, like, it's just, I'm just back there.
[171.8s] You are fully enveloped in red.
[175.6s] I'm just in it, yeah.
[177.5s] Oh, I'm probably near the front.
[179.7s] I'm excited.
[180.6s] I want to see an animal of any kind, but a ghost one.
[185.4s] So, Follon and Alydin, followed by Cav and Merrick,
[192.7s] and then the trio at the back who's just having the best time out of anybody.
[198.9s] All three of you.
[201.0s] Everyone, all three of us, 100% enjoying this experience.
[205.3s] Follon and Alydin, you are kind of first to step out into this clearing,
[210.2s] and immediately, it's still daylight as you step out into it,
[215.2s] but immediately you see this majestic creature, this elk, ahead of you.
[222.4s] However...
[223.2s] Carla's mad that I'm definitely not going to get to see this thing.
[227.4s] Not the first one to see this.
[230.2s] You step out into the clearing,
[231.7s] and you see this majestic creature with these massive antlers.
[236.4s] It almost appears to be shimmering or translucent,
[239.9s] and the antlers themselves, as you are catching your breath and focusing on it,
[245.4s] everybody else is coming in behind.
[248.2s] It turns and looks at you,
[250.0s] and the antlers appear to be dripping with something black.
[254.0s] Is it sick?
[254.8s] What's wrong with it?
[256.2s] Does it appear to be in distress?
[259.3s] Roll nature or animal handling.
[263.1s] You're not really handling it, but understanding creatures or animals.
[267.7s] 14.
[268.8s] It doesn't appear to be in distress,
[272.0s] and the longer you...
[273.8s] For the brief moment, you continue to stare at it.
[276.4s] It stomps its front hooves and turns to face you,
[280.6s] and like scuffing the ground towards you,
[285.9s] letting out this snort.
[287.8s] And it's not a cold day, but you see billowing from its nostrils
[294.2s] like this fog pour out of its nostrils,
[297.9s] and it begins to like crawl along the ground towards you.
[302.2s] It looks really mad.
[304.7s] Yeah, it definitely looks really mad, but amazing.
[308.6s] Throw it a roll.
[310.0s] Yeah, Steuben, throw it a roll.
[311.8s] You turn to look at the gentleman who are with you,
[315.3s] and all four of them are like frozen in fear
[319.7s] as you hear the hooves pound again into the ground,
[325.2s] and this animal charges towards you.
[328.6s] Everybody roll for initiative.
[330.1s] Fuck.
[332.4s] A three.
[334.2s] I also rolled a three, but that's a seven.
[337.9s] I'm like, oh, I have plus one.
[340.6s] 11 for me, Russ.
[342.3s] The elk is going to go first.
[344.2s] I mean, I know you guys rolled really well,
[346.0s] but that's a big surprise.
[348.4s] Well, we just kind of came upon this now angry elk.
[352.9s] Yeah, it is going to charge towards you.
[357.5s] So as I mentioned, the men who you're with
[360.9s] appear to be frozen in fear.
[363.7s] Folan does kind of snap out of it
[366.2s] and grabs his sword that you had made for him, Bonwyn,
[370.3s] and comes up to join you.
[372.2s] It's going to charge towards everybody, though,
[374.8s] so let's give a straight shot.
[379.9s] I mean, you're all standing kind of clustered
[381.9s] as far as I picture it as you come out of this path,
[384.5s] so everybody make a dexterity saving throw as it charges.
[388.9s] 21.
[389.8s] Fuck.
[391.0s] 6.
[391.6s] Do I die?
[394.1s] 17.
[396.7s] Everyone dodges, and there's just like,
[400.7s] Alydin like.
[402.5s] Well, you and the three frozen men
[405.5s] who are just not frozen physically,
[407.8s] but like in state, are going to take a hit.
[413.0s] No.
[414.2s] That hit is going to be dispersed among you.
[421.1s] Breast strength's so hard not to kill Alydin right now.
[426.3s] So each of you are going to take two piercing damage,
[430.3s] and you need to also make a strength saving throw.
[433.5s] Jesus.
[434.3s] So you're a child, you're very strong.
[436.3s] Very strong.
[437.3s] So strong.
[438.5s] Definitely do not have a minus in that.
[443.1s] So all four of you are knocked prone as this.
[447.4s] What makes sense?
[448.2s] Does it throw me?
[449.4s] Animal throws you like back into the trees.
[453.3s] She's like a waif.
[455.5s] Like a ragdoll.
[456.8s] You hear the men kind of trying to clamor to their feet
[461.0s] and run back into the forest.
[463.1s] Cowards.
[465.8s] Kavlaran, it's your turn.
[467.4s] Cav's going to like get his war hammer ready,
[471.5s] but he's not going to like just ready in action.
[473.8s] He's also going to like do a little spells-y.
[476.8s] OK.
[479.1s] Going to cast Sacred Flame at this elk.
[484.3s] All right.
[485.9s] Remind me if I have to do anything or that's an attack roll.
[488.2s] I believe you have to roll a dex save.
[490.4s] A dex save.
[492.6s] OK.
[495.0s] How about a 13?
[496.8s] A 13 will pass.
[499.6s] Ah, sorry.
[501.1s] That's all right.
[502.0s] It's a sweet, sweet cantrip, so no harm, no foul.
[505.5s] What does it look like as you cast Sacred Flame?
[508.0s] A like column of radiant light kind of comes down from the sky,
[513.3s] but it doesn't hit where I was looking.
[516.9s] Yeah, no.
[517.7s] As it passes by the elk,
[522.2s] you find that that radiant light begins to refract unnaturally
[526.6s] and as it kind of disperses around,
[530.6s] everybody make, I guess everybody remaining,
[533.7s] which is Cav, Follin, and Bonwyn,
[536.7s] Alydin is kind of off in the trees a little bit.
[539.2s] Make a wisdom saving throw, please.
[541.4s] Oh, we don't get to roll dex?
[543.6s] No.
[545.1s] Damn.
[545.7s] Wisdom is probably better.
[548.2s] Not for me.
[549.3s] I'm dumb.
[550.4s] That's a 12.
[551.7s] But damn it, are you good with that hammer?
[553.7s] That's right.
[554.7s] That's a 14 for me, Russ.
[557.1s] Cav has read five books.
[559.5s] At least five books.
[560.7s] Pretty wise.
[561.5s] Least.
[562.2s] Slowballing.
[563.5s] Cav and Follin succeed.
[565.4s] Follin got a 19.
[568.5s] Bonwyn, however, you become distracted by the shimmer
[572.4s] and you have disadvantage on your next attack roll.
[575.9s] Okay.
[576.8s] Follin's turn.
[578.1s] He's going to take a look at the men behind him and Alydin,
[582.8s] see that they're okay,
[585.2s] and even some trying to escape the situation.
[588.8s] And he looks over to you, Bonwyn,
[590.8s] and he says, so what shall we do in this event?
[597.9s] Stay safe.
[598.7s] Try not to kill it.
[599.7s] It's just a creature.
[601.2s] Of course.
[601.7s] He's going to move between the animal and Alydin,
[608.0s] and he's going to ready an attack if it is to charge that way.
[612.3s] Brave boy.
[613.0s] I mean, his friends kind of stink, but he's great.
[615.4s] Bonwyn, your turn.
[616.4s] So yeah, disadvantage on your next attack.
[619.6s] Okay.
[620.9s] Well, that's rude because I had a whole thing.
[623.6s] Blame Cav.
[624.3s] That was really...
[625.4s] Yeah, my bad.
[627.5s] How dare you?
[628.3s] I don't know.
[628.8s] It's an animal.
[630.0s] You know what?
[630.5s] Maybe we're getting really thrown off the fact
[632.5s] that it is a shimmery white elk.
[636.6s] Yes.
[638.1s] Instead of just like a monster?
[639.7s] Yeah, we've been attacked by stuff before.
[642.0s] I think we're being prejudiced.
[643.6s] We're being prejudiced against cute majesty.
[647.2s] Okay.
[648.1s] No, it's totally true because I'm like, but it's so beautiful.
[652.3s] Elks are wonderful.
[653.6s] Even normal elks, I love them.
[655.8s] But you're right.
[656.9s] So I will try and shoot it with my short bow.
[661.6s] It is also a goat, so TBD.
[664.0s] That even does anything, but that is what I'm going to do.
[669.1s] But I have disadvantage.
[670.9s] You do.
[671.5s] I mean, it seemed pretty corporeal when it hit me with it.
[674.6s] Spoon four people into the fort.
[676.5s] I true, true, true, true.
[679.5s] 24 and 21.
[682.0s] Oh damn.
[682.9s] Then yeah, absolutely.
[684.0s] That'll still work.
[685.1s] Take that disadvantage.
[687.5s] Well, that was bad, but that is a six.
[691.2s] I know you have some sort of sneak attack situation.
[694.7s] You do have...
[696.4s] I do, but...
[697.4s] Fallen would be probably close enough and flanking it.
[703.6s] Oh, does sneak attack work on ranged?
[706.6s] Probably not.
[707.3s] You think that's...
[707.8s] No, I think it's just...
[708.9s] Never mind.
[709.7s] Oh no, it's range 166 with a finesse or a ranged weapon.
[714.1s] There you go then.
[715.0s] So that is...
[718.0s] Oh damn.
[720.0s] 12.
[721.7s] Kick this thing's ass.
[723.4s] Really, you're just trying to scare it off.
[725.2s] I am.
[726.9s] But as a bonus action...
[729.1s] No, because am I still at disadvantage
[731.1s] or that was just for that roll and now that's canceled?
[734.0s] Yeah, just for the next attack roll.
[735.7s] So if you do...
[736.3s] I want to use my insightful fighting,
[737.9s] which is a bonus action so I can make an insight
[740.3s] versus their deception to see if I can learn about it.
[748.3s] Okay.
[750.6s] My insight's terrible.
[752.3s] It's a minus two.
[753.5s] So that's a 13.
[754.6s] It's a 17 for the elk.
[758.0s] I'm still just like, you're so beautiful.
[759.9s] Even if I'm sorry, I shot you real bad.
[762.5s] I might have an apple in my bag.
[764.1s] Did it bleed?
[766.5s] So yes.
[767.1s] What happened?
[768.0s] Did it bleed?
[769.1s] Is it stuck in its body?
[772.1s] This is not how I am.
[777.5s] Hey, we're in the middle again.
[778.7s] Oh my god, how did we get here?
[781.2s] Man, it's like a Hugh Grant movie in here.
[785.1s] Which are more problematic than I remember.
[789.8s] Some charmingly befuddled?
[791.4s] Oh, I see.
[792.0s] Yeah. No, it was in and out because we were in the middle
[795.5s] and then we were out and we were back in once.
[796.9s] I see.
[797.7s] I think that was a Kavin Kline movie.
[799.7s] Was that Kavin Kline?
[802.7s] I'm way off.
[803.4s] Oh wow, Kyle getting corrected in real time in tandem.
[807.5s] Oh my god, I don't even think I've seen that movie.
[810.4s] I really am mistaken.
[812.5s] Maybe I'm from a different universe.
[814.6s] I searched in and out and it just brought up burger places.
[816.9s] That's cool.
[820.1s] You got to turn your location off.
[821.1s] Well, we're in the middle, so it's not really about that, is it?
[823.8s] It's not really about that rom-com from 2002?
[829.0s] Something.
[829.6s] Who knows?
[830.7s] What it's really about is, I don't know.
[833.8s] What's it really about, guys?
[835.1s] Probably the holiday season and how you can get some dope ass fucking gifts
[839.7s] for you and your friends and your family members,
[842.1s] specifically related to the content that this podcast produced over at our Patreon.
[850.4s] This is true.
[851.3s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast slash gift.
[854.8s] We've tossed that in at the end there
[857.3s] because we want you to send others to go purchase it for you.
[861.0s] That's right.
[861.6s] Take a load off.
[862.6s] Yeah.
[863.1s] You give that job to someone else.
[864.7s] You deserve it.
[866.0s] Delegate.
[866.6s] They can get you one month, three months, 12 months, whatever they're feeling.
[872.2s] But then it gives you all that time to come in and test it out and have a grand old time.
[879.5s] Talk to people like Jess, who hangs out with us all the time because she works here.
[884.7s] She's a delight, guys.
[886.3s] Super cool to talk to.
[887.7s] Really good co-worker.
[889.6s] And who else is here?
[890.7s] Sam.
[891.2s] You could talk to Sam, too.
[892.8s] Sam is also a delight.
[895.2s] The thing is, here's the secret.
[896.4s] Sam and baby Grancis.
[897.7s] Oh, baby Grancis.
[898.7s] The secret is they're all a delight.
[901.5s] They're all a delight.
[902.9s] It's a no skips kind of community.
[905.6s] They're all good.
[907.5s] There's them and then everyone else in the Discord, too.
[910.6s] Exactly.
[911.2s] Everyone's so good.
[912.9s] Lovely.
[913.4s] I only list them because they're in the chat right now.
[916.1s] So it's like we're all talking to you.
[919.6s] Sam says, hide your wife.
[924.1s] Fair.
[925.6s] But yeah, patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast slash gift is the place to send people.
[930.6s] Or you can just go knock off the gift and come join us today and be like today's patron
[937.8s] because you get an episode dedicated to you.
[939.9s] Today's patron is Katharina Sindelar.
[943.6s] Thank you, Katharina.
[944.8s] Thank you so much.
[946.7s] What a name.
[947.2s] You've been with us forever.
[950.4s] Again, is that a character name or is that...
[953.9s] Oh my goodness.
[956.4s] It's a good character name, too.
[958.0s] It's just a good name.
[959.2s] It's just a good name.
[960.6s] Yeah.
[961.1s] Thank you for being here and we hope to see you over there.
[964.0s] Now we'll let you go back to the episode where we will be talking more
[969.2s] because that's what a podcast is.
[971.7s] That is it.
[973.1s] It's just talking.
[974.4s] Definitively.
[976.0s] Fancy talking.
[977.5s] We'll call it fancy talking.
[978.6s] Fancy talking.
[979.6s] Talking.
[980.1s] Elevated.
[981.1s] Yes.
[982.3s] Get in the kitchen and elevate your cooking.
[985.2s] Grab your apple cider and curl up by the fire.
[990.0s] I don't know what's happening in this episode because I haven't gotten that far,
[993.6s] but I'm sure it's fire worthy.
[995.7s] Okay.
[996.0s] Love you.
[996.4s] Bye.
[1001.3s] So everybody who's close enough.
[1003.2s] So that would be Bonwyn Cavan and Folan can see this.
[1006.4s] So the arrow strikes and I mean you said ghost,
[1009.6s] but it does strike it as if it is...
[1012.1s] A corporeal animal.
[1015.1s] The arrow sticks into its side and instead of blood coming out,
[1020.7s] it begins to ooze more of that black liquid that's coming off of its antlers,
[1026.5s] which obscures the luminescence that's happening on it
[1031.2s] and like turns and snorts and more of this fog comes out.
[1034.4s] And for everybody who's close enough within the fog,
[1037.6s] you see that there appear to be words mixed into the fog
[1043.5s] that they dissolve faster than you can actually read them.
[1047.4s] Even for a voracious reader like Cav.
[1051.9s] I know.
[1053.5s] He read those five books over the last 20 years,
[1057.3s] so he is pretty quick with the reading.
[1061.6s] I'm in the grass, right?
[1062.6s] Even for Cav.
[1063.7s] Oh yeah, you're just like...
[1065.2s] It is your turn, Alydin.
[1067.6s] Okay, well I guess I'll use my movement to get up.
[1073.0s] Half your movement.
[1075.2s] You can still run up and try and hug the elk if you want.
[1077.5s] I mean, I won't.
[1081.8s] I get up and I'm holding my side like,
[1087.1s] ow, good, because I don't know if I've actually been hurt very much.
[1094.0s] Like mentally, sure.
[1095.2s] Oh, mentally.
[1096.0s] Yeah, psychologically, absolutely.
[1097.2s] Sent through the wringer, but yeah, physical damage.
[1099.6s] Trauma-wise.
[1100.9s] You took some physical damage in the banjo man stuff.
[1106.3s] Not much.
[1107.3s] Not antler damage.
[1109.6s] And it was all mostly like mental.
[1112.1s] Yeah.
[1113.3s] I think that Alydin is going to grab her sling out of her bucket
[1121.0s] and try to shoot it with the sling.
[1124.8s] Okay.
[1125.2s] I'm going to try yet another d20, see if this one works.
[1128.5s] Nope, that's a five.
[1131.2s] God damn it, plus three, eight, does an eight hit.
[1135.1s] Your rock goes up and over the elk.
[1138.0s] Well, I'm injured.
[1142.8s] Mm-hmm.
[1143.2s] That's all I got.
[1144.0s] That's it.
[1145.2s] And I'm going to probably stagger backwards a little bit
[1148.7s] and make sure I'm behind my found family.
[1153.6s] Okay, got it.
[1154.8s] It is the elk's turn.
[1157.5s] And Fawn, when you were the most recent one to try or to hit it,
[1163.4s] so it is going to be mad at you.
[1167.4s] I mean, I didn't hit it and I seemed to hit it.
[1169.9s] There was like some fallout from that among us.
[1172.3s] So it's going to look at me really disappointed.
[1175.9s] Like, come on, man.
[1176.8s] Like, do you see how beautiful?
[1178.5s] It's going to move away from that.
[1182.7s] It was previously charging towards where Alydin is.
[1185.4s] Fawn has stepped between.
[1186.8s] It's going to move away and come back towards Cav and Bonwyn
[1194.4s] and get within 15 feet of you.
[1198.0s] I assume you were a little further than that to try and shoot at it.
[1202.8s] And it's going to shake its head, which sprays these droplets of this
[1209.0s] ichor that's coming off of the antlers.
[1211.6s] Why did I move back to them?
[1214.2s] I don't know.
[1214.7s] Oh, you're behind us, right?
[1216.9s] You said you moved behind us.
[1218.0s] I did.
[1218.8s] You're under partial cover.
[1220.0s] We'll say you're fine for this one.
[1222.6s] The two of you, can you make another wisdom saving throw, please?
[1225.7s] Come on.
[1226.2s] I'm not lying.
[1227.1s] No.
[1230.0s] 15.
[1232.4s] 20.
[1233.1s] Dirty.
[1234.0s] So you're going to take half damage, which is going to be six psychic damage,
[1240.2s] and you won't receive disadvantage that is granted by this.
[1244.3s] But as this liquid lands on you, you're rubbing away at it,
[1251.3s] and it looks like ink, like from an ink well.
[1254.8s] Back to Cav.
[1256.5s] I kind of look over at Bonwyn and I say, is this ink?
[1260.8s] Is this something to do with the archives?
[1263.3s] Got to be, right?
[1265.3s] There was the words and then the ink, and it's like...
[1268.5s] So this is, I don't know, the guard of the archive?
[1274.1s] Maybe just talk to it.
[1278.1s] Maybe we can talk to it.
[1279.2s] I'll stop shooting for a second.
[1280.6s] You try and talk to it.
[1282.1s] Okay.
[1282.9s] I'll try to talk to this elk for us.
[1285.7s] Okay.
[1287.2s] Animal handle it.
[1288.1s] What do you say?
[1289.3s] And I guess you're just going to presume common?
[1293.4s] Yeah, I think common's really probably my best shot at today.
[1296.8s] You don't have elk on your list?
[1298.4s] I don't have elk on my list.
[1300.5s] I have a fair few, but...
[1302.6s] I mean, elvish and elkish are very close to the same elvish.
[1306.9s] That's true.
[1308.4s] You're in a city of half-elves.
[1310.1s] Carla's got a very good point on that, Russ.
[1312.4s] It's very close.
[1314.0s] Very close.
[1314.6s] Someone reading quickly might mistake the two.
[1317.3s] Exactly.
[1319.0s] I would say they're next to each other on the keyboard even,
[1321.2s] but that's not true.
[1322.2s] That's a lie.
[1324.0s] Okay, I will kind of put my hammer not fully away,
[1330.0s] but mostly away, and say like...
[1334.0s] What do I want to say?
[1334.9s] And say...
[1336.1s] Ah, man.
[1336.8s] Sorry.
[1338.8s] Our bad, dude.
[1340.0s] My bad.
[1340.4s] I'm so sorry.
[1341.9s] Yeah, I'm going to kind of put a hand up like Chris Pratt
[1344.6s] in Jurassic World.
[1347.3s] And I'm going to say, sorry about that.
[1352.9s] Are you involved in this archive stuff at all?
[1356.9s] Straight to the point.
[1357.7s] I like it.
[1358.1s] Straight to the point.
[1358.9s] Make an animal handling roll, please.
[1363.0s] I can do that.
[1364.8s] Bonus of two.
[1366.7s] All right, that's 12.
[1368.4s] Okay, it looks at you.
[1372.3s] It stomps its hooves again.
[1375.3s] Good sign.
[1376.7s] Blows the fog out.
[1379.3s] This is going great.
[1380.2s] Catch any birds?
[1382.0s] It doesn't.
[1382.6s] Well, I mean, there's no recognition
[1385.8s] that it's understood anything that you said.
[1388.6s] It kind of looks back.
[1390.0s] It hears clanging from behind.
[1392.4s] It looks back and then looks off into
[1395.9s] to the open field ahead of you
[1400.1s] before kind of like side-eyeing back to you.
[1403.9s] So that's what you see.
[1405.5s] Guys, I don't know if that's going to do anything for us.
[1409.6s] I didn't.
[1410.9s] It didn't.
[1411.6s] It doesn't seem to speak common.
[1413.2s] I run through the same thing in Dwarvish, Elvish, and Gnomish.
[1418.7s] In that six seconds that you run through that phrase that many times,
[1423.6s] the same, you don't get anything more than what you've got.
[1427.1s] Okay.
[1427.8s] Shocked it doesn't speak Gnomish.
[1429.5s] I know, right?
[1432.0s] It's Follin's turn, and he's now behind the animal.
[1438.5s] And he is looking at you, Cav, trying to negotiate with it.
[1442.0s] And he's trying to signal Bonwyn with his sword.
[1448.0s] He's got a very good vantage point.
[1450.5s] He's trying to signal to you, should he take a hit?
[1455.1s] Oh, Coward can't even do it by himself,
[1457.5s] has to make Carla decide whether or not he killed the elk.
[1460.0s] He's going to stab it in the butt?
[1461.6s] He's going to stab the...
[1462.8s] Why are we stabbing things in the butt?
[1465.2s] This is why we defer to you.
[1468.0s] You've stabbed the most things in the butt, I think, out of everybody.
[1471.9s] Bit of an expert on the team.
[1473.6s] I mean, it's not responding.
[1475.4s] I shouldn't be tricked by its beauty.
[1478.1s] I've already damaged it, so I think I give him a nod.
[1483.5s] Okay, he's going to try and...
[1485.5s] Because it's going to attack again, and last time that happened,
[1487.7s] Alydin ragged all up into the air and felt like...
[1490.3s] And those other guys, but I don't really care about them.
[1492.3s] They ran away!
[1493.1s] But I do care about Alydin.
[1494.3s] Yeah, they just peaced out.
[1496.8s] Then he's going to take his longsword that he has,
[1502.1s] and as stealthily as he can, rush up behind the elk.
[1507.1s] And jump down and strike into it, which he succeeds on his attack.
[1513.8s] And that's going to be seven damage.
[1518.9s] It's always more upsetting when it's a mammal.
[1520.9s] Do you find that?
[1521.7s] Sure.
[1522.4s] 100%!
[1524.6s] With no claws or fangs or anything like that.
[1528.4s] Red eyes, yeah.
[1530.0s] It's an animal that in nature I would be like,
[1532.3s] what a wonder and delight!
[1534.8s] He cuts down into this elk, which the antlers shake again,
[1538.9s] and more of this ink flies off, and there's this huge snort.
[1542.6s] And the elk opens its mouth, you think, to make a call,
[1549.7s] a yell, a scream of some sort.
[1553.1s] But as the sword digs into it, and its legs collapse beneath it,
[1560.6s] its entire body begins to dissolve into these paper fragments
[1567.9s] that appear to be soaked in this heavy black ink.
[1574.3s] Follens standing over top of it as this paper is blowing away
[1578.5s] in the wind and the fogs dispersing.
[1581.1s] And what's left are the antlers of the elk surrounded by this paper.
[1590.1s] Dibs.
[1597.2s] I know you can kill Dib, but...
[1599.0s] She called dibs.
[1599.8s] I mean, you can't...
[1601.1s] That's legally binding.
[1602.4s] That's legally binding.
[1604.4s] You all kind of collect yourselves,
[1607.0s] and Follens calls back to the men who had hightailed it back into the forest.
[1613.3s] They're already at them punks' death.
[1614.4s] They're too far to hear him, or if they have heard him,
[1618.8s] they're not turning around coming back at this point.
[1621.3s] So he looks down and he's like brushing between the papers
[1625.4s] as you all come to join him.
[1626.8s] And he says, there's two inks, there's little words more than anything.
[1634.4s] I don't see any phrases on this.
[1642.0s] What happened here?
[1643.6s] Well, first, you need some new adventuring buddies,
[1646.6s] or I hope the other ones.
[1648.7s] Those guys can't go with you.
[1650.2s] They ran at the first sign of trouble and you were here
[1652.8s] and you protected Alydin and kept like...
[1655.7s] Yeah, thanks, man.
[1656.8s] You're crushing it as an adventure.
[1659.2s] Well, thank you.
[1661.1s] First of all.
[1661.8s] Yeah, no.
[1663.7s] I didn't think they were going to really hold...
[1666.0s] I didn't expect it to charge us and throw them into the trees.
[1671.1s] It really wasn't an animal, it was a book.
[1673.6s] It was somehow a book, but also an elk?
[1677.1s] Was it a book about an elk and then it turned into what the book was about?
[1682.2s] I mean, that's not one of the five books Cav's ever read, so...
[1685.7s] I wish Bazaar was here.
[1687.1s] Oh, God, I was just thinking the same thing.
[1689.1s] All the magic-y shit happens when Bazaar's never here.
[1690.9s] All of this weird stuff is happening and Bazaar isn't here
[1694.2s] and he's the only one that knows about this stuff.
[1697.3s] I want to gather all the pages that I can, even though they're ink.
[1701.8s] Yeah, they're ink covered and mostly scraps.
[1704.1s] Yeah, but yeah, you gather what you can.
[1705.6s] Me as well.
[1706.6s] Follon looks down and there is a pool of what you can presume
[1712.8s] is this creature's blood in the space, but it looks like the ink.
[1718.0s] There are the antlers and Follon and it pulls out of his satchel and he says,
[1723.4s] I don't...
[1725.2s] He says, your friend looks into this.
[1727.6s] Maybe we collect some of this and maybe he can do something with it?
[1731.2s] Great idea.
[1732.0s] Thanks, Follon.
[1732.7s] Yeah.
[1734.1s] So he collects some of the ink-like substance
[1737.5s] and there are the antlers, which are, as you're now up to them
[1741.3s] and the ink has more or less been shaken off,
[1743.9s] they are polished antlers that shimmer faintly with the light around it.
[1748.2s] I'll just take these.
[1750.4s] I always...
[1751.0s] Stab them up on my shoulder.
[1752.1s] Okay, you okay with...
[1753.6s] You're good?
[1754.8s] Oh, yeah.
[1755.5s] Yeah, okay.
[1756.5s] This is a flesh wound.
[1757.9s] It's fine.
[1758.9s] Okay.
[1759.5s] Might have to get you a bigger bucket.
[1761.3s] Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
[1762.9s] You collect everything you can for more investigation,
[1766.8s] both bizarre or anybody else later.
[1770.9s] You manage to find...
[1773.7s] You bring back a couple vials of the blood substance.
[1777.8s] You have the antlers and as you're collecting the papers,
[1781.3s] there is this cracked stone in the shape of a hoof
[1788.9s] that you find underneath a big pile.
[1791.5s] Pick that up and take that with you as well.
[1794.1s] For sure.
[1795.3s] Well, I mean, it's getting late,
[1797.5s] but we could probably still make it back.
[1799.4s] I don't think we necessarily need to stay in...
[1803.0s] We found it.
[1804.5s] I mean, we did find it.
[1805.7s] This was the goal and we did it.
[1807.5s] It was a lot quicker than we thought.
[1809.7s] I guess we can put that rumor to rest.
[1811.6s] It did exist.
[1814.5s] Did exist?
[1815.7s] Yeah.
[1816.2s] I mean, it still might, somewhere.
[1819.0s] Yeah, I mean, who knows what Book L...
[1821.4s] Paper.
[1822.9s] Yeah.
[1823.3s] He's in a little bit of shock himself.
[1825.7s] Everybody heads back towards town.
[1828.4s] As you get back to town, it's late evening
[1833.2s] and usually there's still a good crowd of people
[1838.0s] going shop to shop, restaurant hopping,
[1840.9s] that sort of thing.
[1843.3s] But you hear from the Artisan District town center
[1848.5s] on the Artisan District side of town.
[1851.9s] Comotion coming from that part of the city.
[1858.7s] Folan looks to you and says,
[1861.8s] it sounds like there's something happening over there,
[1863.9s] but I'm going to go see if I can find the others.
[1867.8s] Yeah, tear them a new one.
[1869.0s] Tell them thanks for nothing.
[1870.3s] No, of course.
[1871.3s] Thank you for coming with.
[1873.3s] Of course.
[1874.5s] I don't think that would have gone nearly as...
[1879.3s] The way it did.
[1881.2s] I don't think it would have been as beneficial.
[1883.2s] So thank you.
[1884.2s] Thank you again.
[1884.9s] He kind of bows his head and heads off.
[1889.2s] I guess we got to go see what's going on, right?
[1891.3s] Well, is there an event?
[1892.7s] I don't remember there being anything going on.
[1894.1s] I don't remember there being anything planned tonight,
[1896.5s] but yeah, we got to go see.
[1901.3s] You make your way down
[1902.6s] and this is in the little square outside
[1905.9s] of where the Brutal Awakening is.
[1907.7s] So there's shops around,
[1909.1s] but there is a large gathering of people.
[1912.8s] And as you're coming down the little hilled street
[1918.0s] that leads into the square,
[1920.4s] a few people look and see you
[1922.3s] and you can see over the top of several of their heads.
[1927.3s] You see that there is a crowd that's gathered around
[1930.9s] what looks like a lector that's been placed
[1933.5s] in the center of the square.
[1935.4s] And there is a book that somebody appears to be reading from.
[1940.4s] And then you hear that person yell out,
[1943.7s] it's not true, it can't be true.
[1946.4s] And they turn and they run
[1948.4s] and there's like an audible gasp
[1950.4s] as everybody looks into this book.
[1954.1s] Dumbgeons and Dragons Season 4 Episode 43
[1957.7s] starring Amy More as Alydin,
[1960.2s] Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane,
[1962.7s] Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldwave,
[1965.1s] Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard,
[1967.3s] and Russ More as your Dungeon Master.
[1969.7s] Dialogue editing and sound design of today's episode is by Russ More.
[1973.5s] Our community manager is Jessica Babiak.
[1976.0s] Music is from Epidemic Sound
[1977.9s] and sound effects are from Epidemic Sound,
[1980.0s] Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
[1982.1s] Our amazing cover art is by Matt Garbutt.
[1984.9s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[1987.3s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak,
[1989.3s] Angaron Kierzen, Perry Matey,
[1991.6s] Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
[1993.7s] Old School Gamer D, Craig Zeiss,
[1996.4s] L.A. Branton, Chibs 1012,
[1998.6s] and Kudzu828.
[2000.6s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast
[2004.0s] and all of our amazing community help make sure
[2006.5s] that we have adventures for you every single week.
[2009.9s] Come join us today, patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
[2012.9s] We hope to see you over there
[2014.3s] and you have yourself right now a great week.
[2018.5s] Yes, and we'll talk to you very, very soon.
[2021.6s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.