Dumbgeons and Dragons begins in a moment. As Thurston Lawfulgood says his goodbyes and disappears through the crowd heading back towards what you can presume is Kingstown with his big bag of money, we see coming from City Hall, there are several wagons out front. Being led by military guard are the mayor and many of his counterparts, a few of the nobles from town, all being led
down kicking and screaming towards these wagons. The crowd that's outside of the courthouse quickly shifts and begins making their way over to these wagons throwing whatever they have on them. Bottles and tomatoes, I would assume a lot of rotten tomatoes, a lot of rotten tomatoes like they're not
wasting good produce, no. We haven't said, but this town is just flush with rotten tomatoes specifically for these particular reasons. There's a weird curse. We'll find out more about that another time, I'm sure. But as they're being shoved in, one of the guards kind of looks over to the crowd and gives it like, everybody calm down, justice will be served. They're being taken to Kingstown to be put under their own trial to serve
time. I don't know, I'm just the guard. Okay, I'm just here to take them away.
You're doing a great job.
We love you. Thank you. This guy said he's serving just us, meaning the 1%. Get him.
No, no, no. Run.
You catch a glimpse of the mayor who is comically upset in this moment. And as he kind of fades into the sunset, heading back towards Kingstown, he's looking through the back window. And you see he's got like this, you can't hear him because they put soundproof glass on there. But he has this look that he's about to say something like, if it wasn't for those damn kids, I'm going to kill you.
I'll get you next time, Scooby Gang. Something like that. Maybe not exactly that because of copyright. But you get what I'm saying.
Anybody know what he said? I couldn't hear it.
I he was moving his mouth, but
I mean, probably something like he'll be back for vengeance someday.
No, I think it was something about peanut butter. I don't know. It was hard to follow.
That's what he said kids, but I'm just one. You guys are all
There was this trick we learned where if you're not a kid, where if you didn't know the words in a song, you could just mouth watermelon. And that usually worked. Maybe he was maybe he was saying watermelon.
He didn't really have much good to say.
Never did.
Good one. Good one.
So like Thurston's gone with all the money. Yeah.
I'm just a random crowd person. I don't know who Thurston is.
Sorry. You exactly sound just like Benson. Another person that I know with that exact same voice.
It's weird.
Sorry, sir. Yeah, you're much taller.
I have one of those voices. I am much taller.
All right, stranger. And then I walk away because I don't know what's a stranger.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast and I'm your dungeon master Russ More, he him.
Also with me today is Amy More as Alydin, she her.
I let him touch my duck.
Tom Laird is Kavlaran Goldweave, he him. I really missed it when I was stuck on house arrest.
And Kyle Klasset is Bizard the Wizard, he him.
This looks like part of the cuckoo clock that I was working on in the back room.
A quick shout out to our Patreon family who make this show possible and get 130 or more exclusive episodes for their trouble.
That's like a lot of D&D that you can get right now.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
We hope to see you over there.
And now fuck it. Let's play.
We cut to the next day.
Kav, you are back at your apartment, no guards in tow.
Freedom is the first time you've tasted freedom since you've been back from the fey.
And dare I say, even before going to the fey, because that wasn't really freedom.
How long has it been since I've been back to the apartment and like separated from the guards?
The guards you wouldn't you wouldn't have had the guards basically since the night before.
Yeah, because like they wouldn't have been hanging out in the jail.
Yeah, you would. If not them, then there were guards on you in the jail.
So basically since you escaped jail is the last time you've had any guards on you.
On the way out of jail and that I started to miss the guards because it's been a couple of days.
So I sent them a little note to be like, hey, do you guys want to hang out?
And now that I'm back in the apartment, I see that the reply has been like slipped under the door.
So I eagerly open that up and it says no, thank you.
Swiftly after that, there's another note that gets kicked under the door.
Oh, man, all sorts of mail.
And I open the door to like see who it was.
Do I see anyone out in the hallway?
Oh, my God, you try to catch them while they're trying to sneakily.
The anxiety within me cannot.
Hold on. Yeah.
No, you don't see them.
So fucking rude.
Like the hallways are quite long to before.
Amy can't even.
No other doors.
Do you open the door when you're like door dash or Uber eats or skip the dishes person is there?
Depends how hungry I am.
I wait outside the front door.
I wait. I don't.
I wait at the peephole like the weirdo I am.
I'm sorry.
Kyle waits up the block and then tails back to the house.
I got to make sure they drive safe through my neighborhood.
Right. OK, sorry about that.
Yeah, that's OK. I'm not actually sorry.
OK, no one. No one in the hallway. Yeah.
OK, I'm going to open up my new piece of mail and see what's see what's up.
It says Kavlarin, please report to City Hall at nine a.m.
You look and it's eight fifty seven.
Sincerely, Nina.
All right. And it's probably more than a three minute leisurely stroll
to City Hall from where I am. Yeah, definitely.
Yeah. All right.
I'm going to go run through town to see if I can get there on time.
All right. You quickly get yourself ready and bolt out the door.
And we it's a skills challenge.
Suddenly, there's a giant boulder rolling behind you.
What do you do?
Cardiff, I mean, I avoid the man with the fruit cart.
Absolutely.
Somebody dumping refuse out the second story window.
All these rotten tomatoes just everywhere.
Just everywhere. Slip and fall on them.
We fade out on you as you're running towards City Hall
and jump over to Bazaar and Mom's Marvels, formerly the Magic Closet,
where Bazaar, you are just getting up for the day.
You hear some movement downstairs.
You look and you assume it's either your mom or Alydin.
And as you come down in, you hear Alydin like burst from the back room.
Hmm. What's the noise?
What's going on? I did something.
OK. Good. Bad. Yes.
OK. I broke a few things, but that's OK.
That's fine. Mm hmm.
And I reach into my bucket
and I pull out this little like mechanical toy duck.
Do you mind? Do you mind if I check it out?
Yeah, don't break it.
Wouldn't dream of it. I let him touch my duck.
Yeah, I'm going to inspect this thing over,
look it over, set it down on the desk and just kind of look at how it stands
and, you know, really try to get a like glean something.
Um, like, well, how does it?
How does it work?
OK. What do you do?
Hold on, Amy's reading.
This looks like part of the cuckoo clock that I was working on in the back room.
I haven't seen a cuckoo clock.
OK. So, OK, I pet its head.
And from within the duck's body, there's a soft like blue.
Or what color did I say my coin shined with?
I think it was blue.
Yeah, it was like a white or a white blue.
Yeah, that same color. Yeah.
Kind of radiates from the inside of the duck.
And I say, can you go get me that wand?
And the duck hops out of your hands
and waddles over and grabs the wand that I was pointing at
and then brings it back to me.
And I take the wand and I go, huh?
Ha ha ha ha. OK.
How's it alive?
I that's a really good question.
I kind of know because I have these books that I took off the shelf.
And I know that you said to wait for you, but like I didn't
because I couldn't sleep.
And so I just started, you know, like I was just I followed.
It's kind of like cooking.
OK, yeah, yeah, I can I can get that analogy.
It's a very good way of looking at it, especially if it makes sense.
And I mean, the the initiative you're showing yourself starter.
And I'm I'm really proud of you for just
stepping in and doing this
and discovering what your talents are on your own.
I mean, I'm certainly happy to be making ducks.
And you know what? Make ducks, you shall.
Is is it alive?
It's like someone making a dish that they've never cooked before,
so they have no idea what it's supposed to look like.
Going, you know, even reference frame going with that analogy
is is a stuck alive.
I it is,
I believe, an automaton, a think about.
OK, so there's these creatures called golems,
and they're crafted out of all sorts of different materials,
but they are imbued with a magical essence that like animates them.
It's animated with magic.
But because it is, there is a personal touch to it.
You know, part of you,
you know, is exhibited through the creature.
And that's why you probably have, I mean, have such a bond with it.
I think it's imprinted on you.
Isn't that's what isn't that what ducks do?
Yeah, I guess. I guess so.
My God, I'm like, it's God.
But I just want it as a friend and I pick it up.
I didn't name it.
Also, I borrowed something and I lift the duck's wing.
And it's I mean, it was this is my first pass at this duck.
So it does not look like it's like bony.
I would like I lift the wing and you can see like
like metal, like nails that I've bent into place as rib bones.
And inside, there's a crystal.
I found that in the back and I hope that's OK.
You know what? I don't even remember that being there.
And I try to live by rule.
If I haven't used it in a year, then I probably didn't need to use it.
Fantastic. It's like it was waiting for me.
OK, I have to think of a name.
Think of a name and, you know, we can we can talk to Bonwyn
about improving, you know, maybe the structure of it.
I would give advice on how to maybe cover up the more precious parts
like the stone.
But I think Bonwyn would serve you better in that area,
being able to armor in some ways.
She can teach me how to do metal smithing.
I mean, if this is if this is part of the craft that you have
and there's this marriage of metallurgy and magic, then, I mean,
you're going to need more than one mentor and more than one person.
I can't do any of that.
So by all means, you've I'm here to help you figure out
what you want to do and not make you do what I think you should do.
So explore. OK.
Come on, duck quack.
That's a really good quack sound. Solid.
I've been practicing, so I've been sitting over here
for this entire scene, like, OK, they're going to call on the duck
here any moment. Any minute.
Now is my time to shine. Get ready.
And the duck and I waddle over to the corner where I was
where I had all these books open and I snuggle up with it in my lap
and I start to flip through the pages and read.
I'm about to walk out to the front of the of the store.
And I turn back and say,
do you remember that when you're done with your experiments,
you need to clean up after yourself?
Yeah. Yeah. It's the one rule. I know. Just remember.
I'm proud of you. Remember that. OK.
And I walk through the door and close it.
For D&D sake, because that's what we're playing.
I made a homunculus servant.
Yeah, you did. With an armor class of 13.
And it can it has 20 walking speed, 30 flying speed.
It's immune to none of your fucking business, Russ.
I mean, I can just look it up. Yeah, fine. OK.
I also have a computer.
You you don't have the ability to find this.
You'll never have this.
I can only find this like 10 percent of the time
when I'm looking for it in my character sheet. So.
Damage immunity is to poison condition.
Immunity is exhaustion and poisoned. Can't do it.
It's got dark vision.
It understands my languages.
It has evasion, which means if the homunculus is subjected
to an effect that allows it to make a dexterity saving throw
to take only half damage, it instead just takes no damage
if it succeeds and only half of it fails.
And it's got the action of forced strike,
which is a ranged weapon attack.
It's my spell modifier to hit the range is 30 feet
and does force damage, and it also can channel magic.
Humunculus delivers a spell you cast that has a range of touch.
And the humunculus must be within 20 feet of you.
So like I could throw my duck at something
and my duck could deliver like shocking grasp or something.
Yes. Awesome.
So is the duck more buff than most of your player characters?
Maybe. Yeah. Yeah.
That's cool. I mean, well, don't forget that duck anywhere.
This duck lives in my bucket. It's a duck. It's.
And then the next one, you have to say duck it. Let's play.
Write that down.
That's good. That's gold.
Let's play. Got it. Thanks.
100 percent. Love it.
Perfect. Amazing. Could do no better.
Yo, what up? Yes, welcome.
Welcome. It's great to be here in the middle.
It is comfy.
We're. What year is it?
We're in October now.
Mm hmm. Twenty twenty five.
Yes. Twenty five. Still. It's been a long one.
You know what we have?
We have our other show coming back next week.
Next week. That's very soon.
That would be a totally appropriate thing to talk about here in the middle.
Amy, tell me more. I just interrupted you and tried to.
What? No, I'm not sure if I said the right show because.
Which show? Cyberpunk.
Well, yes, but it's on Facing Fate, which is the name of our show.
Oh, yes. Yeah, it's a show.
Chromeheads and Corpos.
Yeah. Is that a secret or is that.
I didn't know. I didn't know.
Trailer's already out in the feed.
Oh, baby. Maybe time.
It will be. It's scheduled.
Guys, you should listen.
It's really great.
Kyle was the boss.
That's what you call the the game master, right?
The boss. Yeah.
You call it the referee.
The referee. Yeah, yeah.
I like that.
It's really fun.
We're so out of our element.
Oh, my God. Doing doing the murders and things like we're not prepared.
Yeah. Oh, please.
They know that we're living in a dangerous
place and everyone's doing killing here has to be appropriate for where we live.
So it's just different because we're mostly trying to make friends and be kind.
That's right. And this is not that.
No. Yeah.
Sometimes facilitating survival is not conducive to making friends.
Exactly. So but it's a really good show.
We like it a lot if you listen to it.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you all have cracked me up any times.
We all worked really hard on it.
Mostly Kyle and Russ.
Yes, they worked very hard, very hard on it.
So, you know, face it.
Give her a little listen.
Missed you, Kyle.
Didn't even catch it, didn't even catch it.
Good times.
Hey, how's that name coming here?
Yeah, I was going to say, am I wrong that there's already cyberpunk
content over on our Patreon?
Absolutely, there is.
And now that the episodes are actually releasing,
I'm going to get them out before they go out to the public.
So you get early access when you join.
I'm sorry, everybody's been a patron for the last year and a half,
and we've been talking about it.
We won't talk about that, though,
because you also get something else when you're a patron, right?
Yeah, you get an episode dedicated to you.
That's right.
And today's patron, who we dedicate this episode to, is Ted Hubbard.
Thank you so much.
Oh, my goodness.
Ted, are you so wholesome?
That's the most wholesome sounding name I ever heard.
I like it.
Ted, just just baking bread, being nice to their neighbors.
Probably a great pet owner.
Oh, probably.
Yeah, absolutely.
Or conversely, a total punk rock badass with a wholesome name,
and either way, crushing it.
Ted, thanks.
Yeah, absolutely.
We're lucky to have you, Ted.
Thanks for being here for so long, Ted.
We love and appreciate you.
And yeah, when you sign up and you're like Ted,
and you commit for the long haul,
you get those early Facing Fate episodes
and a whole bunch of other stuff.
It's a great time.
We've already talked about it all ad nauseam.
So see you over there.
Just ask Ted.
They know.
Give them a call.
Go to the Discord.
Say, hey, Ted, what up?
Just like that.
Ted, it's 555-555-5555, as for Ted.
You got it.
Thanks, Ted.
OK, let's get back to the episode
where we're having a great time, too.
And you will be in the episode.
OK, love you, bye.
Love you, bye.
What a weird way to end it.
You're going to be in the episode, everybody.
You're going to be in the episode, I think.
What?
What do you mean?
We cut over to City Hall.
And Cav, you are...
You've cavbooked it, I think?
I'm assuming there's some sort of, like, Ferris Bueller day off
running hijinks that I've gotten into along the way.
Yeah, of course.
There's a parade that you've had to cut through
and you've actually joined in, started to sing a song.
So we'll get that.
We can get that later.
That's fine.
We'll roll the tape back on that one, no worries.
I know you're good for it.
There's a swimming pool.
You know, you're leaping over people in their backyards,
stopping at the at the gorsches of the group.
Of course, yeah.
Run up through City Hall.
And, I mean, you tell me where you go.
Nina's the one that presumably sent the letter.
There's, like, the golden fountain in the front courtyard.
That's where I would go, yeah.
Making your way through the city, you see the golden fountain.
You stop on one side.
Nina's nowhere to be seen in the immediate vicinity.
Gives you a moment to catch your breath
and, like, swat the fog words.
I know.
Dab the sweat from your brow.
I'm having that day, too, so.
Yeah.
We'll just all muddle through together.
Maybe we'll only do one today.
We'll see how it goes.
Okay, sometimes I'll come up
with, like, really good words like duck it.
It's fine, okay?
Amy, shoulder the load for the rest of us.
We create words.
Got you guys.
Not the other way around.
That's right.
We don't need to use these all ready words.
Fucking all ready words, how dare they?
These goddamn all ready words.
Thought I had a good vocab,
but turns out I just know a lot of all ready words.
Yeah, right?
Fucking all ready words.
God damn.
You're dabbing your brow of all the sweat
from your Ferris Bueller's run.
Yep, no, this is all making sense.
Keep going with it.
Yep, we're crushing it.
And you sit down at the Golden Fountain,
which is covered in tomatoes,
rotten tomatoes particularly,
and you hear quick footsteps coming from behind you,
which is not unusual because it's, you know,
relatively busy here for the morning.
And you hear just a little clearing of a throat
Cough Lauren.
Oh, hey.
Hey, what's up, Nina?
You were supposed to be here exactly 17 minutes ago.
Okay, well, funny story.
I didn't get your note until like right before 10.
So kind of took me a little bit to get here.
Yes, yes, yes.
Come with me, come with me.
So you're cleared of all charges.
She starts walking off towards the actual City Hall.
Mayor Knops has been taken to Kingstown
along with a lot of his cohorts.
As discussed, I am, and she looks at you,
and also I work in Kingstown for the Auditor's Department.
I remember, obviously.
My question for you is,
do you want to remain employed in Vintersmouth?
She turns around and looks up at you.
I mean, like, I do kind of like it here.
Is there more work to be done?
Oh, she leans in and like moves to put her hand
up on your shoulder, but is like ushering you
to like kneel down a little bit so that she can.
Yeah, she puts her hand on your shoulder
once you bend down a little bit.
The work is just getting started.
Cool, okay, well, what's next?
Follow me.
And she continues to walk and she says,
grab a snack, I don't think you've had breakfast yet
as you're passing by the kitchen.
I do love that snack area of the kitchen.
It's so well stocked.
Still fully stocked.
Yeah, I really missed it when I was stuck on house arrest.
Well, I'm so glad you're back here.
We've had too much food since you've been gone.
So really they've been overstocking it,
anticipating your arrival back.
I can totally help with that.
That's fine.
You get to the point at which, you know,
normally you would turn to Nina's office.
She turns towards the mayor's office
and continues that way
and goes through the mayor's office door
and hops up in the big chair behind the table desk,
hops up in the big chair behind the desk and says,
I have a seat, sir.
Now, did you get rid of the table desks
that was here before and just go with the desk?
I have asked for specifically just a desk.
The table desk was way over the top.
Okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
And are you mayor now?
What is, film me in on everything, girl.
So I am mayor standing in for mayor for the time being.
I am closest to knowing what is happening.
Therefore, I am filling in.
So like surrogate mayor, if you will.
Yes, yes, yes, until they have a proper mayoral birthing
as is the tradition, as is the tradition.
So mayor is birthed into the position.
Like Ace Ventura through a rhino.
That's exactly what you're talking about.
So at the next mayoral birthing,
they will take over the rules
and regulations of the city.
In the meantime, I have been put in place to,
how to say this delicately,
stop the rest of the corruption
that is happening in the city.
Yeah, no, well, I mean, like you're perfect
for the job, so.
Well, thank you, thank you.
It's not too long ago that you thought I was bad
and I heard you say bad things.
That's how good you were doing.
I don't know what the local acting award
is here in Vintersmouth,
but you should probably get one.
Oh, well, thank you.
I think it's by nomination only though.
And you need certain participants in the city
to actually vote for you.
So they're difficult to win.
But if you can lead that, you can do anything.
What I need from you is,
because you have seen a lot of the damage
that has been done and I feel like
if I'm judging your character correctly,
you want to do more with your life.
Yeah, sure, yeah, okay.
Yeah, I think so, right?
You just haven't found your calling yet.
Well, like I'll be honest with you,
it wasn't this.
I know I stumbled into a good job,
but this is not what I want to do.
No, it's okay.
Well, tell me, in three to five years,
where do you see yourself, Kavlar?
I mean, I haven't really given it much thought.
I guess me and Bench open a cool new place in town
and like, you know.
So restauranteur?
Yeah, maybe, or something like that.
Very nice, yeah, Bench is good.
I've cleared Bench of everything
that he was being tried for as well.
So that is possible.
Just so you know, his name was in the books,
but he wasn't directly tied to a lot of the things
that were happening.
Oh, well, that is good to know.
He's on the up and up.
He's good, he's clear.
I guess I should, like, is Oak cool?
Like, is Oak solid?
Oak, Oak is the most solid individual.
I fucking knew it.
In this entire city.
Oak stumbles backwards into bad things
thinking he's doing good things.
That's why they thought he was helping
because he was doing the paperwork so well
and all of that paperwork covered up everything.
Yeah, I mean, he's very good at it.
Which is why they brought you in.
Did you know that?
That's why they brought you in
because they knew you would do bad job with the paperwork,
but you just gave it all to Oak.
Yeah, they didn't really see that coming, eh?
No, no, they did not.
What I need is a right hand.
Okay.
No, I'm in.
You don't even have to say anymore.
Yeah, okay. I'm on board.
Great, great, great, great, great.
So we'll have to dig in a little bit more
and figure out exactly where we're going to place you
and how we're going to place you
because we don't want it to seem too rushed.
Take some time. Okay, all right.
You've been to this weird fae place.
You've just gone through a trial.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, Nina.
Does this mean that I get to do
the thing that all municipal employees
get to do at some point
and that's go on an extended leave?
That is exactly what I'm teeing you up for here,
Kavlaran.
Yes, you are going on an extended leave.
Sorry. Amazing.
Hold on.
She turns around and like pulls a big rope
that's behind her
and streamers start to fall from the ceiling.
Confetti and then people come in with snacks.
Baby's first leave.
Baby's first leave, exactly.
I had the pomp and circumstance here already for it,
but you beat me to it.
That's just how good you,
that's just how good I know you are.
So you're going to go on your extended leave.
Take a week, take two weeks, you tell me.
But when you come back, we'll get you up and running
and infiltrating isn't necessarily the wrong word,
but infiltrating certain organizations in the city.
Okay, cool. Like which ones?
I can't tell you that.
You're going on extended leave and you blab.
I mean, you're not wrong.
What?
You're not wrong.
We will work on that, okay?
That will be first week back,
working on not blabbing so quickly.
Because like the second you came back into the city
after that, and I heard your friends,
I heard, I heard her tell that your friends said,
oh, maybe we'll keep it to ourselves.
And you were like, portals are real.
Well, I mean, it was oak.
I can't lie to oak.
Well, you're going to have to lie to oak.
Nina.
She gives you like this one eyebrow look.
It's like, that will be the true test.
Okay, it's good I'm going on this leave
because like I need to prepare for that.
You take the snacks you need.
There's nothing in your office.
You could take what, if you leave anything there, that's fine.
Go have a rest.
Take a vacation.
Take a boat cruise.
Go hang out with your friends down at the pub.
You and the magic, busy.
Bizarre, yeah.
Busy the wizzy is what they called him, yes.
Really, I did not know that,
but I'm going to store that one right up there.
Yeah, just take that out.
Tell him Nina sent it.
He loves it.
Got it.
And that kid, you hang out with the kid too.
What's up with that?
Don't worry about it.
We'll talk about it when you get back.
Okay, cool.
And you said just to help myself to the snacks?
Yeah, yeah, come in every day.
I don't care.
They stock the thing for everybody.
You work here, so that's good.
Okay, cool.
Take the confetti, take the streamers.
You know what, clean up on your way out
and I'll see you in two weeks.
Okay, I'll go grab a broom from the closet
and I'll come clean up and then we'll see you in a bit.
I love to go get her attitude.
Thanks, Kavlaran.
And she slams open a big ledger on her desk
and starts jotting some notes down.
Back at Bazaar and Mom's Marvels.
Bazaar, it's been some time since you've
actually been tending your store.
So as you enter back in,
you see that, which you subscribe to,
but there's the Vintersmouth voice is like stacked up
in a corner underneath the desk.
You haven't been through any of that,
which is some way you keep up on the city.
The pirate paraphernalia has grown
in the last few days.
It was kind of dwindling there as you were back
and you still haven't actually seen Captain Jacob around.
But yeah, you close the door after seeing Alydin's new duck
and you kind of catch your eye
on the Vintersmouth voice.
It's like an easy place to start cleaning up
and getting things back in order.
Yeah, start going through cleaning up the desk area
because I think probably my first task
is going to be making sure the books are good
since I haven't been around.
But to do that, I've got to have a clean working space.
I'll be way too distracted.
So I start picking up papers and I'm like,
well, I do want to read about these
because I want to know how the outside perspective was
of what we went through.
So I go and I open up a cupboard
kind of above the shelf
where I keep a bunch of different magical items.
And as I do, there's just this downpouring
of coconut shell drink mugs
that are just plastered with the namesake
of Bazaar Mom's store.
It's Bazaar Mom's Marvels.
Bazaar's still learning the name of it.
He's been away that long.
But yeah, this just torrent of coconut shell drinks
come down and I'm just standing there kind of like,
oh, it's all the pirate stuff.
Why is it, okay.
And I start cleaning that up
and I start looking around and I try to take stock
of how much is my original merchandise
versus how much is new merchandise
I have nothing to do with.
It's probably like a one third yours,
two thirds your mom's and this Captain Jacob's.
I'm gonna walk around the store
and kind of take eye on like the stock of things.
And I mean, business is business.
Like, I'm gonna take note of as I go around,
like where are the empty spots on the shelves?
Do they, are they mostly weighted towards the,
the merchandise that I'm not responsible for
or is it the other way around?
You would see that most of the empty shelves
are probably more on the mom's side of things.
There are a number of spots
that you could stock on your side.
Pretty stock and standard toys
that the kids would come in,
firecrackers, that sort of thing.
But yeah, as you're kind of walking around
and you have been back and you have noticed
that some of this pirate merchandise,
like you had pulled some things from the shelves
because you had come to realize
that some of them were in fact cursed items.
Good, good.
But yeah, most of the empty shelves
are their responsibility at this point.
Okay.
Yeah, you know, I'm gonna spend the day
like just tending my shop, taking care of things,
kind of getting back to like a baseline of normalcy
after everything that's been going on.
And then as I'm, I can go ahead
and I start pulling out merchandise, restocking,
like even the pirate stuff.
And I'm kind of looking over it and I start,
I pull out this one like small figurine
of like a pirate standing behind a cannon and I'm like,
I bet I could make that fire something interesting.
And I go back into my shop with it to go work
and go up to Alydin and say, Alydin,
do you want to put your new knowledge to the test
and see if we can make this little cannon man
shoot off colorful sparks?
Yes.
Cool, I'm gonna close the shop up, we're stocked up.
I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go grab some food,
clean up the area, come back,
and we're gonna make this little thing
blow some small shit up.
Okay, I'll get my books.
Yeah, and Bazaar walks out to go get the food
and just thinking to himself,
I was like, well, if I invited her here,
I left, if this is, and if it's profitable
and it provides us the money for her to live here
and I lean into it, lean into it.
Let's make it work.
And he steps through the door, closes it behind him.
And yeah, the close sign just kind of flips over
as he, as the door closes.
Dumbgeons and Dragons, season four, episode 39,
starring Amy More as Alydin,
Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane,
Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave,
Kyle Claset as Bazaar the Wizard,
and Russ More as your dungeon master.
Dialogue, editing, and sound design
of today's episode is by Russ More.
Our community manager is Jessica Babiak.
Music is from Epidemic Sound,
and sound effects are from Epidemic Sound,
Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.
Our amazing cover art is by Matt Garbutt.
A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak,
Ongorong Kiersen, Cat Waterflame,
Perry Matey, Jacob Madden,
Old School Gamer D, Craig Zeiss,
L.A. Branton, Chibs1012, and Kudzu828.
We'd love if you joined us today
at Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast
for the amazing community,
all the bonus content, and so much more.
Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast
will see you over there,
but until then, have a great week,
and we'll talk to you soon.
They're being taken to Kingstown
to be put to their own,
to be put under their own,
what's the word I'm looking for?
Did anyone else think Russell's going to say
to be put to death?
Yeah, me too.
Like, are we getting back into public execution?
Because, I mean, I don't take kindly to this.
We don't know that this world doesn't do that.
And then I walk away,
because I don't know what to string to.
Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
You just sounded exactly like
this other person I've been dealing with.
I wasn't actually looking at you.
I just heard the voice.
Well, yeah, no, we're in a crowd.
Yeah, mm-hmm.
Like, okay.
Okay.
Guys, we're at peak.
I've never played an artificer before.
Carla's gone for one extra week,
and we fall apart.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.