[0.0s] Hold on, Tom forgot his dice. Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin in a moment.
[7.5s] All of these warped toys come up out of the ground as everything shakes. The mannequins are
[13.0s] making their way into the forest as Kavlaran and Bizard. You see mannequins shaped as the
[18.4s] children you recognize. I have to be specific. Disappear into the forest. The banjo man lets
[25.4s] out a discordant chord and a melody rings out. Everybody roll perception, please.
[33.0s] Oh, nat 20.
[35.2s] Damn, Carla.
[36.9s] Really roller coaster-ing it.
[38.7s] 14.
[39.8s] As you all prepare yourselves, Bonwyn, you're kind of coming back to after firing a very
[46.2s] powerful shot into the banjo man's instrument. And as he lets out this chord, you see
[54.3s] ripples within the air caught on the mist, almost like strings coming from the banjo man
[62.6s] to the toys, to the large warped toys that stand imposing in front of you.
[69.7s] And from the banjo man to what you see as picket fence instruments that have been set
[76.5s] up and come up and out of the ground. He lets out another chord as they begin to
[83.0s] rush forward towards you with huge footsteps and this creaking, laughing jack-in-the-box
[91.8s] coming at you. Let's roll for initiative.
[96.9s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast and I'm your dungeon master,
[101.7s] Russ More, he, him. Also with me today is Amy More as Alydin, she, her.
[106.6s] More like jackass in a box.
[108.4s] Carla Maxtad as Bonwyn Everbane, she, her.
[111.2s] I just want to scoot away.
[112.6s] Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, he, him.
[115.4s] So it's just 25% of my total health pool.
[119.1s] Sure.
[119.8s] And Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard, he, him.
[122.8s] Phew, but no.
[124.2s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast and we love and appreciate all of
[129.1s] the support that we get from our community. You can join us today at patreon.com slash
[134.6s] dumb dragon cast. Not only do you get amazing bonus episodes of shows like The
[139.0s] Adventures of, but you could also join us backstage at our regular recordings.
[143.3s] Check it out today. And now, fuck it, let's play.
[155.5s] Alydin, you groggily eyed, groggily eyed.
[165.4s] Speaking of Russ saying crazy things, I would like to
[169.0s] four years later, in Russ's defense, say that both rifled through and riffled through
[175.2s] are legitimate turns of phrase.
[179.2s] Because I saw riffled somewhere else and I was like, huh.
[183.5s] Son of a bitch.
[184.3s] And I was like, and I made a note. I was like, I need to say,
[187.8s] Russ, you were right. It's both.
[190.8s] Thank you.
[191.5s] Anyway, Alydin wakes up and kicks her dad's ass.
[196.2s] I assume that's what you were going to say next.
[197.6s] Yeah, that's right. Actually, what I said is groggily eyed.
[201.8s] Alydin, you bleary eyed wake up again in your bed.
[207.1s] It appears you've been tucked in and you.
[210.8s] Am I wearing the same clothes?
[212.2s] You are wearing the same clothes.
[213.4s] Good. Bad parents.
[215.3s] And up till now, they've seemed like great parents.
[218.1s] Really, really been good. Yep.
[220.0s] You're in your same clothes. You are tucked into the bed and you
[224.9s] are trying to clear the haze and you think for a second.
[228.7s] Actually, roll perception as you wake up.
[235.9s] Or tell me your passive perception, whichever you prefer.
[243.4s] My passive perception is 10.
[246.2s] It's one more than what I rolled.
[247.8s] OK.
[248.3s] How about that?
[249.8s] You think you hear the sound of like a groaning monster
[258.4s] coming from somewhere.
[261.8s] And then it's gone.
[263.0s] As you shoot up in your bed, you look out the window
[269.0s] and you see it's still nighttime.
[270.7s] The picket fence out there, the blowing grass.
[275.7s] That sound fades away from you.
[278.6s] And you look over to the right, to the mirror,
[281.6s] and you see for just an instant,
[284.4s] like your face begin to warp into the mirror
[288.0s] and then snap back.
[289.9s] OK.
[291.4s] Alydin hops out of bed upon seeing her twisted face
[297.8s] in the mirror and picks up, I don't know,
[302.1s] whatever, something figurine on the desk.
[306.7s] I don't, I don't know, whatever.
[310.0s] And I want to smash that fucking mirror.
[312.2s] OK.
[313.3s] Because it's creepy as shit.
[314.5s] I'm hearing monster sounds.
[315.7s] My face is looking all fucked up.
[317.1s] No, thank you.
[318.5s] Are you breaking it to break it?
[322.3s] You're not being stealthy, sneaky in any way.
[326.0s] You're just...
[326.9s] No.
[327.4s] Great.
[327.9s] You pick up this figurine and hurl it at the mirror
[333.3s] and as it strikes, there's a cracking sound.
[337.1s] And instead of showing shattered glass,
[339.6s] it reveals a swirling void.
[343.6s] Blacks and blues and stars and something ethereal and beyond.
[354.7s] I, I, I reach in the dresser and get
[359.9s] a pair of balled up socks and I throw it into the void.
[363.4s] And as you throw it, just as it would be about to hit the void,
[368.3s] the mirror repairs itself and it bounces off and falls to the dresser.
[374.6s] But there's no glass anywhere.
[376.2s] No.
[377.6s] Did it make a sound at all?
[380.4s] No.
[381.1s] Fuck.
[383.2s] I break it again.
[385.4s] The same process repeats.
[389.3s] A swirling void before you instead of shattering glass.
[393.3s] And I want, as soon as I break it,
[396.8s] I want to like pick the socks up again and try to put it through.
[404.7s] I'm trying to catch it before it mends itself.
[408.8s] No.
[409.1s] Yeah.
[409.4s] I see what you're saying.
[412.4s] So you're just trying to put the socks through the void.
[415.3s] Yeah.
[415.6s] See if it's a space.
[417.0s] I want to see if it's a space.
[418.4s] Is this like a path?
[421.0s] Like, is this a through way?
[422.6s] Or am I just looking into something?
[424.4s] Every time you try to put the socks through, the mirror repairs itself.
[430.4s] It doesn't matter how long you break it.
[432.2s] You try and shove it through like almost at the same instant.
[435.7s] Doesn't seem to allow anything to pass into it.
[443.2s] You hear footsteps starting to come up the stairs.
[447.5s] Two sets.
[449.0s] Before...
[450.1s] Alydin, is everything okay?
[452.2s] Yeah, everything's fine.
[454.2s] I want to break it one more time.
[456.9s] And then I want to say, what are you?
[461.4s] I'm talking to my mirror.
[463.4s] As one does.
[464.6s] You magic?
[465.7s] Hey, you magic?
[466.6s] Hey.
[468.7s] You magic?
[470.1s] Obviously.
[471.9s] That's what the mirror would say.
[473.0s] Yeah.
[473.4s] Duh.
[476.2s] Thought you were supposed to be the smart kid.
[477.8s] What is this?
[481.9s] Hmm.
[483.8s] Sorry, your question is, what are you?
[485.7s] Yeah.
[486.4s] Yeah.
[487.3s] That's a good question.
[488.5s] That's a great question.
[491.0s] I don't think anything responds.
[493.1s] Where am I?
[496.7s] Who are those people downstairs?
[500.6s] The footsteps are now outside the door.
[504.3s] I hear a light knock.
[506.2s] Are you feeling better?
[508.2s] Uh, yeah, yeah, no, I'm feeling a lot better.
[511.8s] That was, that was real weird.
[512.8s] I'll be out in a second.
[514.6s] Um, I want to break it again.
[516.0s] It's not making any noise, right?
[517.4s] So I'm going to break it again.
[519.9s] I want to just the loudest glass shattering noise every time.
[525.5s] Who am I?
[526.4s] Yeah.
[526.8s] Alydin's just lost her hearing.
[533.3s] Okay.
[533.8s] Who am I?
[534.8s] Interesting question.
[536.4s] Interesting question.
[537.8s] Okay.
[538.9s] I'm imagining a montage of like, I've smashed this thing 50 times.
[544.4s] And I'm like, what is going on?
[547.0s] Where am I?
[547.8s] Who are these people?
[549.0s] Who am I?
[550.6s] On that last question, and almost like a frustration,
[554.4s] you turn your attention away from the mirror.
[558.6s] In the corner of your eye, you see it repair itself,
[561.0s] and it's back to being a mirror.
[562.5s] And in the reflection of the mirror,
[564.0s] now focus not on, on yourself or on the mirror.
[568.5s] There's a painting on the wall behind you.
[572.2s] What's it up?
[574.1s] You turn around and you look at it.
[577.0s] And as you turn around, you, you stop for a second
[580.5s] because you realize that the footsteps
[582.4s] haven't walked away from the door.
[587.5s] The two people on the other side
[591.0s] claiming to be your parents are still standing there.
[593.9s] You see shadows beneath the slit in the door.
[599.1s] You draw your attention to the painting
[601.3s] and it shows a life that you don't remember.
[605.9s] It shows you in a childhood home.
[609.5s] There are vacations, moments that should feel real.
[615.4s] A roll investigation.
[618.6s] Can't investigate.
[619.8s] Oh wait, no, I can't.
[622.2s] 19.
[623.9s] You see as you get closer the brush strokes
[628.3s] of this painting shift before your eyes
[631.3s] and they change the image.
[633.8s] And as you get closer, the image feels like
[636.9s] it becomes more real and then something around the edges
[641.1s] shifts and you just, you've lost that memory
[644.1s] and it changes to something else.
[649.3s] The edges begin to morph and change
[652.9s] and you feel this weakness begin to return.
[659.5s] Can I rip this painting down?
[663.3s] Yeah, I want to, I want to, I want to take it down.
[669.3s] I want to rip it if I can.
[670.6s] Pull it off the wall and it's, yeah,
[672.5s] it feels canvas in your hands,
[675.0s] a wooden frame, canvas back.
[677.1s] You see the painting evolving before you.
[682.9s] I want to like hold, how big is this?
[686.8s] Foot and a half, two feet.
[688.0s] Okay.
[688.3s] Yep.
[688.9s] Big enough for me to hold, like.
[691.0s] Yeah.
[691.5s] And then step on.
[694.9s] Sure.
[695.5s] And I'm trying to bust, I'm trying to bust it up.
[698.1s] So I'm holding onto the edges and I'm,
[700.4s] and I'm stomping on it.
[702.0s] Yeah, you put it down and you lift your foot
[704.8s] and you go and you see like every,
[707.6s] it kind of clues, clicks in for a moment
[711.2s] that every image you have, there's like a missing piece.
[714.4s] There's something in this image
[716.0s] that hasn't quite been filled in.
[718.1s] And then as the painting shifts once more,
[721.3s] as you're holding it,
[722.6s] it fills in something that you recognize
[725.7s] and then the painting shifts and you feel weaker.
[728.6s] And as you lower your foot,
[731.3s] you want to roll into strength or sleight of hand
[736.0s] or something to cause damage to.
[737.4s] You should try unfocusing your eyes
[740.0s] in case it's a magic eye puzzle.
[741.2s] That'll do it.
[742.1s] There's probably a boat or a dolphin or something in there.
[744.4s] Yeah, an elephant.
[746.2s] Oh, fuck off.
[747.0s] Ooh.
[748.0s] Nat 1.
[750.2s] Fuck.
[751.0s] I feel like this is a pivotal moment.
[752.6s] Of course I would roll a Nat 1.
[753.9s] Yeah, of course you would,
[754.9s] but you can fail upwards in story
[757.7s] and still move forward.
[758.8s] It's fine, yeah.
[760.2s] Just not in my favor.
[763.0s] You don't know.
[763.7s] Oh yeah, I don't know.
[765.4s] As you lose your bAlydince
[768.3s] as this last image
[770.9s] kind of comes into view
[772.9s] and that click of recognition,
[775.4s] what's the image that clicks for you?
[778.3s] Something that you actually recognize
[780.0s] from your real life.
[781.8s] Oh, it's Tally.
[786.7s] Sitting down, just crisscross applesauce.
[789.1s] She's holding one of the books that we have
[791.0s] and looking up expectantly.
[794.7s] You see Tally and she's looking up at you
[799.9s] and it's as if the painting was from your perspective
[804.7s] as you were walking into this room and seeing her.
[808.2s] And as that clicks into place,
[811.0s] you feel it suddenly vanish
[813.9s] and you lose your bAlydince
[815.6s] and you fall through this painting
[817.7s] and the frame cracks
[819.4s] and the canvas warps
[821.4s] and crumples beneath you
[823.4s] and you feel yourself hit the ground
[826.5s] and then you hear the door creak open behind you
[831.1s] as footsteps begin to come in
[833.4s] and in this bleary
[837.4s] again, narrowing of vision,
[839.0s] you look up and you see the two people
[841.8s] who've been before you
[843.3s] but instead of seeing...
[847.0s] Well, actually now you have a chance
[848.7s] to really sit with it
[850.6s] and realize that you haven't actually seen their faces.
[857.1s] You haven't been able to put a picture
[860.5s] to these people that have been before you.
[862.9s] Like they've...
[863.6s] There's a familiarity to them.
[865.4s] You know, the clothes feel the same.
[867.2s] There's been a smell, you know,
[870.1s] kind of of what you think home should feel like
[873.2s] but then now as you look towards them,
[875.7s] faces become clear
[877.8s] and these figures before you begin to,
[881.0s] like the painting and the brushstrokes moving,
[884.6s] become shadowy figures
[886.6s] that have empty music box eyes
[889.8s] and their voices that start with
[893.4s] Alydin, are you okay?
[896.3s] Warp into a single droning note
[899.6s] as everything goes dark.
[902.6s] Fuck!
[904.0s] Fuck!
[907.7s] Fuck!
[910.1s] Damn it, shit!
[911.2s] Come and save me, I'm doing a terrible job.
[915.6s] I'm barely keeping it together over here.
[918.6s] We just got to kill like 50 monsters
[920.4s] and not children.
[921.5s] No, no problem.
[923.7s] Just try not to murder kids.
[925.3s] The kids try and murder you, right?
[927.1s] I mean, all's fair.
[930.0s] Welcome to the middle, everybody.
[934.2s] Thanks for being here.
[935.7s] It's getting real tense.
[938.3s] Real tense, which we can't say
[941.7s] for fear of spoilers
[943.0s] for the people watching this live,
[944.2s] which you can too.
[946.5s] Oh God, there's too many parameters.
[950.4s] I'm trying to think of like
[951.5s] where we would be in the story
[953.0s] and I'm like, I don't know.
[953.9s] So there's a lot going on.
[955.4s] It's a, you know, it's a pivotal moment.
[958.2s] Yeah, things are happening.
[959.3s] Yes, that pivotal moment.
[961.1s] Yeah, things are happening and
[963.7s] People are there.
[964.6s] People are there.
[965.8s] Yep.
[966.2s] There are events.
[968.2s] Probably a problem.
[968.9s] May or may not be unfolding.
[970.6s] Could be.
[971.5s] Maybe we're on a quest.
[973.4s] It's possible.
[974.3s] So when Russ said
[975.2s] if you're watching this in the future,
[978.1s] for anyone who doesn't already know,
[980.2s] if you are a patron
[981.9s] and you are subscribed as the
[984.8s] supporting producer level or up,
[987.7s] you can actually come and watch us
[989.5s] do this baloney live
[993.8s] while we do it.
[995.0s] Just live, unedited.
[996.5s] To see how the sausage is made.
[998.1s] Yep.
[999.4s] Just bananas.
[1000.6s] Raw bananas.
[1002.4s] Raw bananas.
[1003.4s] Raw bananas over here.
[1004.6s] So you can visit us
[1006.7s] at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[1010.1s] You did it.
[1011.0s] That sounds right.
[1013.8s] And you also get a patron dedicated to you
[1015.8s] like today's patron.
[1017.2s] Digital replica of a person.
[1022.8s] That's amazing.
[1025.4s] Long enough to put that credit card info in there.
[1028.1s] I think we've got an in on the robot uprising.
[1030.6s] So well done, guys.
[1033.2s] They should probably check out our cyberpunk stuff.
[1034.7s] Probably.
[1035.9s] Absolutely.
[1037.3s] Maybe because they're a digital replica of a person,
[1040.2s] they could help get that out.
[1041.5s] So yeah.
[1043.5s] And then they could listen to it.
[1045.7s] All of those things.
[1046.6s] No pressure digital replica of a human.
[1053.3s] Come on over.
[1054.3s] We'll put you to work.
[1055.0s] Just looking for a side hustle.
[1056.5s] That's right.
[1057.4s] Okay.
[1058.3s] Thanks for listening.
[1059.5s] We hope that you're enjoying the story thus far.
[1063.5s] Wherever it is.
[1065.5s] We're in the middle of it.
[1066.4s] We're in the middle of it right now.
[1068.4s] It's happening.
[1069.4s] Which makes this the middle of the middle.
[1071.2s] Oh my god.
[1072.2s] This should be the end of the middle though.
[1073.4s] This should be the end of the middle.
[1074.8s] Oh yeah.
[1075.8s] We're at the end of the middle.
[1076.8s] Star wipe and we're out.
[1078.2s] Okay.
[1078.3s] Love you.
[1078.6s] Bye.
[1083.2s] Okay.
[1084.2s] Discordant note.
[1085.4s] Bonwyn, you see these strings that are coming from the monsters to the banjo man
[1090.9s] to these pickets that are set up around these instruments that are set up around the space.
[1098.5s] The banjo man lets out another one of these that echoes vibrations throughout the entire
[1103.7s] space and gives these monsters more power as they are barreling down towards you.
[1112.4s] Bizard, it's your turn.
[1114.3s] Right in front of you is the jack-in-the-box.
[1118.4s] Behind that is the stuffed bear.
[1122.7s] Stuffed guardian we'll call them.
[1125.1s] The marionettes are swarming out from the trees so they're not on you yet.
[1129.4s] But there are dozens of them swarming.
[1132.7s] And then the porcelain doll knight was on horseback
[1136.9s] coming around from the house which is about 50 feet away.
[1141.4s] I forgot there was something on fucking horseback.
[1143.8s] Jesus Christ.
[1144.7s] Yeah.
[1145.0s] How far away is the banjo man?
[1147.8s] He would be on the porch.
[1149.8s] So we'll say 50 feet just because that's the number I said.
[1155.0s] Okay.
[1158.1s] That's how this game works.
[1159.2s] That's the one, yeah.
[1161.8s] I'm going to point at the banjo man and I'm going to say
[1166.3s] all of these machinations here mean nothing without you.
[1170.8s] So really you're the source of it.
[1172.8s] And really you're not even the source of it, Calder.
[1176.3s] You're the source of a deal.
[1179.0s] So really whoever's pulling your strings is who we need to find.
[1183.0s] But we'll take care of you for now.
[1184.7s] And I'm going to disengage and I'm going to be in a blade song
[1188.0s] and move 30 feet straight towards him.
[1191.8s] And that is my bonus action and action and movement.
[1198.5s] Okay, so you are cutting around Jack in the Box
[1202.0s] between that and the Stuffed Guardian
[1204.4s] making your way towards the house.
[1207.2s] Yeah.
[1208.5s] Very cool.
[1210.4s] Okay, next up is the Jack in the Box and the Stuffed Guardian.
[1216.2s] So you've disengaged.
[1218.0s] So you are cutting between as the Jack in the Box
[1221.7s] is throwing its head back and forth.
[1224.9s] You're dodging beneath this giant stuffed animal's legs.
[1230.4s] The Jack in the Box is going to attempt a spring-loaded lunge
[1237.2s] towards Kavlaran.
[1243.3s] Kavlaran, that's going to be a 14 to hit you
[1248.7s] as it's waving back and forth.
[1250.9s] That will hit.
[1252.5s] All right then.
[1257.8s] Three.
[1259.6s] What kind of damage?
[1260.5s] It's probably bludgeoning.
[1261.4s] That makes sense.
[1263.4s] Oh, three bludgeoning and one psychic damage.
[1270.2s] Oh, okay.
[1270.9s] Because this is fucked up.
[1272.2s] Because this is just 25% of my total health pool.
[1275.8s] Nothing, no problem.
[1277.5s] No problem.
[1278.6s] Just one attack, just 25%, don't worry.
[1281.2s] Yeah, no worries.
[1282.6s] This Jack in the Box knocks into you
[1285.5s] and lets out this roiling laugh.
[1288.2s] The Stuffed Guardian is going to turn
[1291.0s] and take chase of you, Bizard.
[1294.3s] Okay.
[1295.4s] That's going to be a 13.
[1300.0s] No, sir.
[1302.4s] Interesting.
[1304.6s] So it's trying to bear hug you.
[1307.1s] It's trying to grapple you
[1308.2s] and you dodge out of the way
[1309.5s] as you continue making your way towards the porch.
[1313.7s] Bonwyn, it's your turn.
[1315.4s] Fantastic.
[1316.0s] So no one has attacked me yet?
[1318.8s] No.
[1319.6s] And also it doesn't appear
[1321.1s] that anybody has seen what you've seen.
[1324.0s] Okay, I am going to,
[1325.8s] and I'll dash if I need to,
[1328.5s] to get to them.
[1330.6s] And I have just a,
[1333.2s] it's not a martial hammer,
[1334.9s] but it is just my work hammer with me
[1337.4s] and I'm going to try and smash some shit.
[1340.6s] You're going towards the pickets
[1343.0s] or the monster?
[1344.6s] The pickets.
[1345.2s] The pickets, okay.
[1346.0s] Yeah.
[1346.8s] So yeah, there are five in total
[1348.9s] that you can see and they're spread around.
[1351.8s] You could dash.
[1354.0s] You are close enough to the Jack in the Box
[1356.0s] that if you did not disengage
[1359.1s] that you would take an opportunity attack.
[1361.4s] Okay, great.
[1362.6s] Then I guess I will disengage.
[1364.6s] I don't want him to attack me.
[1366.2s] Okay.
[1366.9s] Just want to scoot away
[1368.3s] and start hitting things
[1369.8s] with my big heavy weapon smash hammer.
[1373.2s] To make it to the first one,
[1375.0s] I don't think you would need to dash,
[1377.1s] but you do lose an action.
[1379.5s] Is it a full action to disengage?
[1381.5s] Yeah, it's your action.
[1382.9s] Okay, well I'm ready.
[1384.5s] You could risk the opportunity attack.
[1386.3s] Your call.
[1387.4s] Or I could risk the opportunity attack.
[1391.4s] Bonwyn doesn't know.
[1393.0s] I'll risk the opportunity attack
[1394.7s] and see what happens.
[1395.8s] Bold move, Cotton.
[1399.4s] Oh, that's a six.
[1401.1s] Oh, it's not going to do it.
[1402.2s] It's a six.
[1402.6s] So yeah, as you catch it between-
[1405.1s] Fortune favors the bold, I run.
[1408.6s] Amazing.
[1409.0s] Okay, yeah, you can make it to the first one.
[1411.5s] So you bolt off to your right.
[1413.1s] So right of the group
[1415.0s] that you're running towards
[1417.3s] one of these swarms of marionettes,
[1419.0s] but you can make it to this picket
[1420.7s] before they get to you.
[1422.5s] Sweet.
[1423.3s] I don't have stats for the hammer.
[1424.9s] It just says, like,
[1426.4s] hammer, good for smashing open treasure chests
[1429.4s] is the way it's described.
[1431.4s] We could say a D6.
[1432.9s] Let's say a D6.
[1434.0s] That seems reasonable.
[1436.2s] And I guess just damage
[1437.4s] because it's not dodging me.
[1439.4s] It's an immobile object.
[1440.4s] There's nothing around you immediately.
[1442.0s] Yeah, I rolled a D8 and got an eight.
[1443.7s] So does that mean a six?
[1445.0s] I think that's one.
[1445.5s] No, two.
[1447.8s] Two is what I actually got on the D6.
[1449.8s] I'm going to put the D8 away.
[1451.1s] It's not for me.
[1451.8s] Eight minus six is two.
[1454.2s] Rewind a little bit here.
[1455.4s] You bolt between this jack in the box
[1457.4s] as it's swinging back and forth
[1458.8s] and you're running towards this picket.
[1461.4s] Kavlaran and Bizarre,
[1463.0s] you kind of catch out of the corner of your eye.
[1464.6s] Well, Kavlaran, you specifically see
[1467.0s] as Bonwyn bolts off to the side.
[1470.5s] Bizarre, you see out of the corner of your eye
[1472.3s] as you swing down on top of this instrument,
[1474.7s] this violin that's coming up and out.
[1477.2s] It's white and looks like it's connected
[1480.4s] partially to this picket fence.
[1482.7s] And you strike it and this discordant note rings.
[1486.6s] And as it does, you see this fracture
[1490.6s] move through the air and towards the banjo man
[1493.8s] who lets out this guttural,
[1497.6s] not shriek, guttural yell
[1499.8s] as he turns and locks eyes with you, Bonwyn.
[1504.6s] Yeah, and I say, good,
[1506.8s] because I'm mad that I hit him earlier
[1508.5s] and it did nothing, so.
[1510.1s] It didn't do nothing, but it did.
[1511.8s] I mean, it didn't murder him.
[1513.0s] Didn't do much.
[1513.9s] He laughed.
[1514.7s] So I just, he's trying to eyeball me.
[1516.4s] I'm just eyeballing him right back.
[1518.1s] Yeah, hammer.
[1520.1s] So Bizarre, as you're running,
[1521.9s] you see this fracture go towards him
[1524.4s] and like see out of the corner of your eye.
[1526.3s] Bonwyn go for this picket instrument.
[1530.6s] Did it destroy it or is it still there?
[1532.6s] It appears to be fractured.
[1535.8s] Like how you would smash a violin,
[1537.5s] you can't play a violin anymore.
[1539.1s] Right.
[1539.5s] Exactly.
[1540.6s] Right.
[1541.0s] Yeah.
[1541.4s] Okay.
[1541.7s] The devil will not go down to Georgia
[1543.4s] with this particular fiddle.
[1545.2s] No.
[1545.8s] He still might.
[1546.4s] I'm sure they've got good repair shops there.
[1550.6s] I kind of let out a smirk.
[1552.9s] I'm like, very clever, very clever.
[1555.9s] Okay, I'm going to continue walking towards him,
[1558.9s] but I'll do a spin as part of my blade dance
[1562.2s] and I'm going to cast magic missile.
[1563.7s] It's not your turn.
[1565.1s] Oh, I thought you said it was.
[1566.5s] I was just giving you some information.
[1569.3s] Oh, I 100% thought you were crazy.
[1570.7s] I also was like, okay, great.
[1572.7s] I guess the banjo man hasn't had a turn yet,
[1575.1s] so that probably needs to happen first.
[1576.7s] Is he not turning the entire time?
[1579.0s] Oh yeah, that's true.
[1580.2s] Banjo man's doing things, don't worry.
[1582.3s] Apologies.
[1583.0s] Yes, it's not quite your turn yet.
[1584.5s] There's a couple of monsters and a Kavlaran to go.
[1587.4s] Oh, that's right.
[1588.1s] I thought Kavlaran was...
[1588.3s] Just providing some insight to the action around.
[1591.7s] Sorry, I got excited.
[1593.1s] Yeah, no, it was great.
[1595.8s] That's good.
[1597.4s] Okay, the marionette swarms.
[1599.7s] There are two of them.
[1600.8s] One of them is coming towards you, Bazaar,
[1603.0s] and one of them was like close to you, Bonwyn.
[1605.9s] It's going to come down on top of you.
[1608.1s] And these do not have the faces of children
[1610.0s] that we recognize.
[1610.9s] These are just generic.
[1612.2s] These are dozens of dangling faceless puppets.
[1615.4s] Okay, great.
[1615.8s] Controlled by unseen children.
[1616.8s] Oh, that's fine then.
[1617.9s] No worries.
[1618.6s] So much better.
[1620.2s] No worries.
[1622.2s] Yeah, they come down and I need you to make both of you,
[1626.3s] because there are two of them.
[1627.4s] One is going to come down on each and top of you.
[1630.0s] Make dexterity saving throws, please.
[1633.1s] That's a 19.
[1634.1s] 23.
[1635.4s] There we go.
[1636.0s] 19 and 22.
[1636.7s] Remember how I'm a rogue, so I'm dexterous?
[1639.0s] Yeah, I'm dancing.
[1640.8s] Awesome.
[1641.9s] Yeah, you're like mid-dance.
[1643.3s] You're ready.
[1646.1s] You see these come down and they release,
[1649.3s] similarly to Bonwyn particularly,
[1652.2s] what you've seen with the strings leading up to
[1655.4s] and around the monsters and all that sort of stuff.
[1657.8s] You see these ethereal strings come down
[1661.5s] and they try and latch onto you.
[1663.3s] And Bazaar, do you see this as well?
[1665.2s] They're trying to grasp hold of your arms and legs,
[1668.3s] but you manage to maneuver out of the way
[1671.1s] as they kind of swarm above your head.
[1674.6s] The sound of hooves cuts across the lawn
[1679.4s] and is charging towards you, Kvlarin,
[1683.0s] as this porcelain doll on rocking horseback
[1687.7s] draws a blade and swings down at you for a...
[1695.2s] That's a 15.
[1697.0s] Oh, that'll hit.
[1698.1s] Yeah, baby.
[1702.6s] So that's another five slashing damage.
[1706.4s] Buddy.
[1707.4s] Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
[1708.9s] That's great.
[1709.5s] I feel a little rough.
[1714.4s] Do I have a healing kit or anything from a friend?
[1717.8s] So Kvlarin, it's now your turn.
[1720.4s] The jack in the box is right in front of you.
[1722.6s] This horse has run past you.
[1727.5s] The rider has swiped down at you.
[1731.2s] It is going to continue to run past you.
[1733.6s] It hasn't stopped.
[1734.6s] So I'll give you an opportunity attack as it moves past you.
[1737.8s] Okay, I'll take it.
[1740.4s] That's just straight up damage
[1741.6s] or do I have to roll the hit as well?
[1742.7s] You'd have to roll the hit still.
[1744.2s] Okay, I can do those things.
[1747.1s] That's a 19 to hit.
[1749.9s] Nice, 19 will hit.
[1751.7s] Yeah, and give me some damage.
[1753.8s] All right, and I'm going to treat this
[1756.0s] as like a two-handed swing.
[1758.2s] Of course you are.
[1759.6s] Because if I'm taking all these hits,
[1761.3s] I probably didn't have my shield out.
[1764.2s] That'll be eight damage.
[1765.8s] Okay, oh, good hit.
[1767.8s] Yeah, take the horse's legs out from it.
[1769.7s] Yeah.
[1771.5s] Eight horse damage.
[1775.1s] Amazing.
[1776.7s] So sorry, you're hitting the horse or the rider?
[1781.2s] Let's do the horse.
[1782.6s] Horse?
[1783.1s] Yeah.
[1783.8s] Take its legs out.
[1784.7s] Brute.
[1786.5s] The rider swings down with his blade
[1788.5s] as you are coming around swinging at the legs
[1791.9s] that splinter out from underneath it.
[1794.0s] There's this another discordant note that rings out
[1798.6s] and you see this like this fitsing energy
[1802.8s] that comes out from the horse
[1804.6s] and like moves itself up to the rider
[1807.6s] who is knocked to the ground.
[1809.8s] He's prone and he's struggling to try
[1812.6s] and get back up now as your full turn starts.
[1816.2s] All right, but this jack-in-the-box
[1818.4s] is still next to me, right?
[1820.3s] Sure is, yeah.
[1821.3s] So you've got the prone rider and the jack-in-the-box.
[1824.2s] All right, I'm going to take a swing
[1826.2s] at the jack-in-the-box.
[1827.7s] Okay.
[1829.0s] That is a nat 20.
[1829.9s] Yeah!
[1831.1s] Nice.
[1831.8s] More like jackass in a box.
[1835.6s] More like hand him his ass in a box.
[1838.0s] Is that anything?
[1839.2s] I like it.
[1839.8s] I like all of it.
[1840.3s] It is now.
[1841.5s] Keep him coming.
[1843.4s] That is 13 bludgeoning damage.
[1848.3s] Hell yeah!
[1849.0s] Good one!
[1850.6s] Just like wailing on this thing.
[1852.2s] Who's laughing now?
[1855.1s] It's a real shame though when you hit it far away
[1857.2s] it comes back with the increased speed.
[1861.6s] Yeah, you swing and I mean I like that
[1865.5s] but you swing through and you like hit its face
[1870.2s] as it's going down and like knocks into the ground
[1873.1s] and sticks for a second.
[1874.6s] As the hammer continues and fractures the box
[1877.5s] there's the same energy that rings through
[1881.0s] in this note that echoes through your ears.
[1885.8s] Still laughing, still appears to be
[1890.8s] alive.
[1891.8s] Jovial.
[1893.8s] Still having a great time.
[1895.3s] Just happy to be here.
[1896.2s] Yeah, happy to have a great time.
[1899.1s] Anything else you can do?
[1900.7s] That's probably all I can do right now
[1903.1s] but I'll take a quick peek at any like bonus actions
[1906.0s] or anything.
[1907.3s] Anything fun?
[1910.6s] No, I don't have the thing up that I
[1914.1s] would have a bonus action for so that's it.
[1916.2s] Okay, the banjo man looks around
[1920.0s] and you see him like start he begins to tune the banjo
[1924.1s] like he's trying to correct something
[1927.3s] and Bizarre you'd be most focused on it
[1929.6s] Bonwyn you were focused on the picket and the swarm.
[1933.9s] As he tunes like there is this shot of energy
[1939.3s] that begins to unravel and move back out
[1943.1s] and towards the picket that Bonwyn destroyed.
[1947.1s] So it's trying to make its way there
[1949.4s] it hasn't on this turn and now it's your turn.
[1953.8s] Okay. Okay, so kind of repaired that picket
[1957.2s] and there's five in total.
[1959.3s] There are five in total.
[1960.4s] He has not yet repaired that picket
[1962.3s] but it appears that he is trying to
[1964.4s] from what you can determine.
[1967.2s] Cool, cool, cool, cool.
[1971.3s] Well, yeah, I'm gonna just kind of give like
[1974.4s] a knowing smirk and say that's the game.
[1977.8s] Okay, fair enough.
[1979.2s] I'm gonna turn and I'm gonna cast magic missile
[1981.4s] at a second level and I'm gonna use one dart
[1984.2s] for each of the other four that have not been struck.
[1990.2s] So those will all do 1d4 plus one damage to them
[1994.3s] which is a total of two force damage.
[1996.8s] Two force damage each, okay.
[1998.3s] But on each one he can't send out repair structures
[2001.8s] to all of them.
[2003.3s] On each one.
[2004.3s] So everybody sees his Bizarre
[2006.4s] and lets out these magic missiles that fly out
[2009.5s] and towards all these other pickets
[2011.3s] and they hit with this, lets out this echoing chord
[2017.7s] at this point.
[2018.4s] Like each one sets off its own note
[2020.6s] and it's like the final chord of the lullaby
[2024.0s] and it shoots all of these energy threads
[2026.8s] back up and towards the banjo man
[2029.2s] and then you see the energy
[2033.5s] kind of pull in from him away from the monsters.
[2037.8s] The monsters let out this discordant note as well
[2040.9s] and they all crumble before you
[2043.7s] as all of these pickets simultaneously explode
[2047.2s] around the perimeter.
[2049.0s] And we hear my dog has fleas.
[2053.9s] The toys they shudder and collapse.
[2056.8s] They turn back into lifeless wood or stuffing or fabric
[2061.4s] and the banjo man up on the porch growls in irritation
[2065.7s] but still smirks and he turns away from the group
[2071.4s] as everything falls back to the ground.
[2073.4s] The Marionettes landing on the ground around you.
[2076.2s] Bonwyn and Bizard, the Jack in the Box
[2079.6s] releasing itself from the ground
[2081.4s] and then just helplessly floundering back and forth.
[2085.6s] He turns and he opens the door to the house
[2089.0s] that he's in front of and takes a few steps inside
[2092.8s] leaving the door open behind him.
[2095.7s] From your view he disappears into shadow.
[2102.3s] Upstairs, Alydin, you hear the front door open
[2108.9s] you hear footsteps come inside
[2111.0s] they're different from the footsteps you've heard before.
[2115.2s] Down at the end of the bed though
[2117.6s] as you see the two figures standing watching over you
[2122.3s] as this droning note lulls you into this weakened state.
[2145.8s] Dumbgeons and Dragons Season 4 Episode 20
[2149.1s] starring Amy More as Alydin
[2151.6s] Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane
[2154.1s] Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave
[2156.4s] Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard
[2158.7s] and Russ More as your dungeon master.
[2161.1s] Dialogue editing and sound design of today's episode is by Russ More.
[2164.9s] Our community manager is Jessica Babyuk.
[2167.4s] Music is from Epidemic Sound
[2169.3s] and sound effects are from Epidemic Sound and Boom Library.
[2172.6s] Our amazing cover art is by Matt Garbut
[2175.3s] and we'd like to say a huge thank you to our supporting producers
[2178.9s] including Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyuk.
[2181.5s] Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
[2183.6s] Angaron Kiersen, Perry Matey,
[2185.7s] Old School Gamer D, Craig Zeiss and L.A. Branton.
[2189.3s] We'd love for you to join us over on Patreon.com slash DumbDragonCast
[2194.2s] where there's so many amazing bonus episodes
[2196.6s] and now we're opening up the backstage of our actual records.
[2200.7s] Join us today.
[2201.8s] Hey, you have a great week.
[2203.0s] We'll talk to you soon.
[2204.1s] Hope to see you over there.
[2205.8s] Sassy the Banjo Man, we ain't losing anything.
[2208.2s] We're just keeping it going.
[2209.4s] That's right.
[2210.2s] Sass the Banjo Man to death.
[2211.1s] Chop up that wine.
[2211.9s] Let's go.
[2213.4s] I'm taking nighttime cold meds.
[2215.3s] Let's do this.
[2216.1s] We're on the clock now, baby.
[2217.6s] That's okay.
[2218.2s] You're sleeping.
[2218.9s] So it's fine.
[2221.1s] No, because we need her help.
[2225.8s] Well, you need her help.
[2227.1s] She's not there though.
[2228.2s] I know.
[2229.4s] You never know.
[2230.2s] You need my help?
[2231.3s] Well, probably.
[2232.2s] Always.
[2232.8s] You also probably have 16 or 17 hit points to throw around.
[2237.2s] She's got 18.
[2238.2s] I have 18.
[2239.4s] You're such a robust child.
[2241.2s] Well, kids bounce.
[2242.6s] Yeah, that's true.
[2243.3s] Kids bounce.
[2245.9s] Yeah, Bonwyn don't bounce no more.
[2247.2s] Bonwyn don't bounce.
[2248.1s] No.
[2248.2s] Bonwyn.
[2249.0s] Bonwyn middle-aged woman.
[2250.6s] Yeah.
[2251.7s] Bonwyn's kind of always thudded, I think.
[2253.5s] Bonwyn's solid.
[2253.8s] Bonwyn's too old for this shit, okay?
[2255.8s] Yeah.
[2256.3s] Bonwyn's just two weeks from her time.
[2260.7s] Hope I can use my magics to help me fuck this chair.
[2265.6s] Help you do what?
[2266.4s] Help you fuck this chair is what she said.
[2269.4s] Yep.
[2270.5s] That's uh.
[2272.2s] I used my knee and just slowly.
[2274.1s] This is not what Bazaar has taught you at magic school.
[2277.7s] Oh my word.
[2280.2s] What did you learn while I was gone?
[2283.5s] Like maybe my magics didn't help me out.
[2286.6s] Billy Magic showed up and showed me things, man.
[2288.6s] No, oh my god.
[2289.4s] I gave it one of a bitch.
[2293.2s] Billy Magics does sound pervy.
[2295.7s] Absolutely.
[2296.9s] Oh he is.
[2298.9s] I went to school with the fucker.
[2301.2s] I just keep writing down notes about all the things Kyle says Billy Magics was.
[2306.7s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.