1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,839 Hold on, Tom forgot his dice. Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin in a moment. 2 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:12,960 All of these warped toys come up out of the ground as everything shakes. The mannequins are 3 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:18,400 making their way into the forest as Kavlaran and Bizard. You see mannequins shaped as the 4 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:25,440 children you recognize. I have to be specific. Disappear into the forest. The banjo man lets 5 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:32,000 out a discordant chord and a melody rings out. Everybody roll perception, please. 6 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:33,920 Oh, nat 20. 7 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:36,079 Damn, Carla. 8 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:38,719 Really roller coaster-ing it. 9 00:00:38,719 --> 00:00:39,760 14. 10 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:46,159 As you all prepare yourselves, Bonwyn, you're kind of coming back to after firing a very 11 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:53,359 powerful shot into the banjo man's instrument. And as he lets out this chord, you see 12 00:00:54,320 --> 00:01:01,920 ripples within the air caught on the mist, almost like strings coming from the banjo man 13 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:09,680 to the toys, to the large warped toys that stand imposing in front of you. 14 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:16,480 And from the banjo man to what you see as picket fence instruments that have been set 15 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:22,960 up and come up and out of the ground. He lets out another chord as they begin to 16 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:31,040 rush forward towards you with huge footsteps and this creaking, laughing jack-in-the-box 17 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:35,680 coming at you. Let's roll for initiative. 18 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:41,680 Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast and I'm your dungeon master, 19 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:46,640 Russ More, he, him. Also with me today is Amy More as Alydin, she, her. 20 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,400 More like jackass in a box. 21 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:51,200 Carla Maxtad as Bonwyn Everbane, she, her. 22 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,640 I just want to scoot away. 23 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,439 Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, he, him. 24 00:01:55,439 --> 00:01:59,120 So it's just 25% of my total health pool. 25 00:01:59,120 --> 00:01:59,840 Sure. 26 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,799 And Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard, he, him. 27 00:02:02,799 --> 00:02:04,239 Phew, but no. 28 00:02:04,239 --> 00:02:09,120 Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast and we love and appreciate all of 29 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:14,560 the support that we get from our community. You can join us today at patreon.com slash 30 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:18,960 dumb dragon cast. Not only do you get amazing bonus episodes of shows like The 31 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:23,280 Adventures of, but you could also join us backstage at our regular recordings. 32 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,159 Check it out today. And now, fuck it, let's play. 33 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:39,920 Alydin, you groggily eyed, groggily eyed. 34 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:48,080 Speaking of Russ saying crazy things, I would like to 35 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:55,200 four years later, in Russ's defense, say that both rifled through and riffled through 36 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:58,400 are legitimate turns of phrase. 37 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,800 Because I saw riffled somewhere else and I was like, huh. 38 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:04,319 Son of a bitch. 39 00:03:04,319 --> 00:03:07,760 And I was like, and I made a note. I was like, I need to say, 40 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,800 Russ, you were right. It's both. 41 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:11,520 Thank you. 42 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:16,159 Anyway, Alydin wakes up and kicks her dad's ass. 43 00:03:16,159 --> 00:03:17,600 I assume that's what you were going to say next. 44 00:03:17,599 --> 00:03:20,319 Yeah, that's right. Actually, what I said is groggily eyed. 45 00:03:21,759 --> 00:03:26,560 Alydin, you bleary eyed wake up again in your bed. 46 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:30,799 It appears you've been tucked in and you. 47 00:03:30,799 --> 00:03:32,159 Am I wearing the same clothes? 48 00:03:32,159 --> 00:03:33,439 You are wearing the same clothes. 49 00:03:33,439 --> 00:03:35,280 Good. Bad parents. 50 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:38,079 And up till now, they've seemed like great parents. 51 00:03:38,079 --> 00:03:40,000 Really, really been good. Yep. 52 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:43,919 You're in your same clothes. You are tucked into the bed and you 53 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:48,720 are trying to clear the haze and you think for a second. 54 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:52,880 Actually, roll perception as you wake up. 55 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:59,200 Or tell me your passive perception, whichever you prefer. 56 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,240 My passive perception is 10. 57 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:07,760 It's one more than what I rolled. 58 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:08,320 OK. 59 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:08,960 How about that? 60 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:18,400 You think you hear the sound of like a groaning monster 61 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:19,600 coming from somewhere. 62 00:04:21,759 --> 00:04:22,960 And then it's gone. 63 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:28,960 As you shoot up in your bed, you look out the window 64 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,720 and you see it's still nighttime. 65 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,439 The picket fence out there, the blowing grass. 66 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,680 That sound fades away from you. 67 00:04:38,639 --> 00:04:41,600 And you look over to the right, to the mirror, 68 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,400 and you see for just an instant, 69 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:48,000 like your face begin to warp into the mirror 70 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:48,959 and then snap back. 71 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:50,420 OK. 72 00:04:51,439 --> 00:04:57,840 Alydin hops out of bed upon seeing her twisted face 73 00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:01,280 in the mirror and picks up, I don't know, 74 00:05:02,079 --> 00:05:06,639 whatever, something figurine on the desk. 75 00:05:06,719 --> 00:05:08,719 I don't, I don't know, whatever. 76 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,599 And I want to smash that fucking mirror. 77 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:12,740 OK. 78 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:14,479 Because it's creepy as shit. 79 00:05:14,479 --> 00:05:15,680 I'm hearing monster sounds. 80 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:17,120 My face is looking all fucked up. 81 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:17,620 No, thank you. 82 00:05:18,479 --> 00:05:22,319 Are you breaking it to break it? 83 00:05:22,319 --> 00:05:26,000 You're not being stealthy, sneaky in any way. 84 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:26,879 You're just... 85 00:05:26,879 --> 00:05:27,360 No. 86 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:27,919 Great. 87 00:05:27,919 --> 00:05:33,279 You pick up this figurine and hurl it at the mirror 88 00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:37,120 and as it strikes, there's a cracking sound. 89 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,600 And instead of showing shattered glass, 90 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,400 it reveals a swirling void. 91 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:50,240 Blacks and blues and stars and something ethereal and beyond. 92 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:59,040 I, I, I reach in the dresser and get 93 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:02,720 a pair of balled up socks and I throw it into the void. 94 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:08,320 And as you throw it, just as it would be about to hit the void, 95 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:12,720 the mirror repairs itself and it bounces off and falls to the dresser. 96 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,240 But there's no glass anywhere. 97 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:16,740 No. 98 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,040 Did it make a sound at all? 99 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:21,120 No. 100 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:21,620 Fuck. 101 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,000 I break it again. 102 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:27,120 The same process repeats. 103 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:32,640 A swirling void before you instead of shattering glass. 104 00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:35,680 And I want, as soon as I break it, 105 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:40,480 I want to like pick the socks up again and try to put it through. 106 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:48,800 I'm trying to catch it before it mends itself. 107 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:49,120 No. 108 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:49,440 Yeah. 109 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:50,400 I see what you're saying. 110 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:55,280 So you're just trying to put the socks through the void. 111 00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:55,600 Yeah. 112 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:56,960 See if it's a space. 113 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,400 I want to see if it's a space. 114 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,040 Is this like a path? 115 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:02,640 Like, is this a through way? 116 00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:04,399 Or am I just looking into something? 117 00:07:04,399 --> 00:07:09,439 Every time you try to put the socks through, the mirror repairs itself. 118 00:07:10,399 --> 00:07:12,159 It doesn't matter how long you break it. 119 00:07:12,159 --> 00:07:14,959 You try and shove it through like almost at the same instant. 120 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:20,000 Doesn't seem to allow anything to pass into it. 121 00:07:23,199 --> 00:07:25,759 You hear footsteps starting to come up the stairs. 122 00:07:27,519 --> 00:07:28,079 Two sets. 123 00:07:29,039 --> 00:07:29,519 Before... 124 00:07:30,079 --> 00:07:31,519 Alydin, is everything okay? 125 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,240 Yeah, everything's fine. 126 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,240 I want to break it one more time. 127 00:07:36,879 --> 00:07:38,959 And then I want to say, what are you? 128 00:07:41,439 --> 00:07:42,560 I'm talking to my mirror. 129 00:07:43,359 --> 00:07:44,560 As one does. 130 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:45,680 You magic? 131 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:46,560 Hey, you magic? 132 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:47,060 Hey. 133 00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:49,219 You magic? 134 00:07:50,079 --> 00:07:50,959 Obviously. 135 00:07:51,919 --> 00:07:53,039 That's what the mirror would say. 136 00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:53,359 Yeah. 137 00:07:53,359 --> 00:07:53,859 Duh. 138 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:57,759 Thought you were supposed to be the smart kid. 139 00:07:57,759 --> 00:07:58,259 What is this? 140 00:08:01,919 --> 00:08:02,419 Hmm. 141 00:08:03,759 --> 00:08:05,680 Sorry, your question is, what are you? 142 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:06,399 Yeah. 143 00:08:06,399 --> 00:08:06,899 Yeah. 144 00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:08,479 That's a good question. 145 00:08:08,479 --> 00:08:09,439 That's a great question. 146 00:08:10,959 --> 00:08:12,399 I don't think anything responds. 147 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:13,839 Where am I? 148 00:08:16,719 --> 00:08:18,079 Who are those people downstairs? 149 00:08:20,639 --> 00:08:22,639 The footsteps are now outside the door. 150 00:08:24,319 --> 00:08:25,519 I hear a light knock. 151 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:27,279 Are you feeling better? 152 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:31,760 Uh, yeah, yeah, no, I'm feeling a lot better. 153 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:32,800 That was, that was real weird. 154 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:33,759 I'll be out in a second. 155 00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,000 Um, I want to break it again. 156 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,360 It's not making any noise, right? 157 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,920 So I'm going to break it again. 158 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,519 I want to just the loudest glass shattering noise every time. 159 00:08:45,519 --> 00:08:46,399 Who am I? 160 00:08:46,399 --> 00:08:46,800 Yeah. 161 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,320 Alydin's just lost her hearing. 162 00:08:53,279 --> 00:08:53,759 Okay. 163 00:08:53,759 --> 00:08:54,800 Who am I? 164 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:55,759 Interesting question. 165 00:08:56,399 --> 00:08:57,759 Interesting question. 166 00:08:57,759 --> 00:08:58,259 Okay. 167 00:08:58,879 --> 00:09:03,439 I'm imagining a montage of like, I've smashed this thing 50 times. 168 00:09:04,399 --> 00:09:06,960 And I'm like, what is going on? 169 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:07,840 Where am I? 170 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,039 Who are these people? 171 00:09:09,039 --> 00:09:09,679 Who am I? 172 00:09:10,639 --> 00:09:13,360 On that last question, and almost like a frustration, 173 00:09:14,399 --> 00:09:17,039 you turn your attention away from the mirror. 174 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,960 In the corner of your eye, you see it repair itself, 175 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,480 and it's back to being a mirror. 176 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,000 And in the reflection of the mirror, 177 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:28,480 now focus not on, on yourself or on the mirror. 178 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:31,120 There's a painting on the wall behind you. 179 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:33,120 What's it up? 180 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,240 You turn around and you look at it. 181 00:09:37,039 --> 00:09:40,480 And as you turn around, you, you stop for a second 182 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,399 because you realize that the footsteps 183 00:09:42,399 --> 00:09:44,000 haven't walked away from the door. 184 00:09:47,519 --> 00:09:51,039 The two people on the other side 185 00:09:51,039 --> 00:09:53,919 claiming to be your parents are still standing there. 186 00:09:53,919 --> 00:09:58,559 You see shadows beneath the slit in the door. 187 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,279 You draw your attention to the painting 188 00:10:01,279 --> 00:10:04,879 and it shows a life that you don't remember. 189 00:10:05,919 --> 00:10:08,159 It shows you in a childhood home. 190 00:10:09,519 --> 00:10:13,759 There are vacations, moments that should feel real. 191 00:10:15,439 --> 00:10:16,799 A roll investigation. 192 00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:19,759 Can't investigate. 193 00:10:19,759 --> 00:10:20,719 Oh wait, no, I can't. 194 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:22,879 19. 195 00:10:23,919 --> 00:10:28,319 You see as you get closer the brush strokes 196 00:10:28,319 --> 00:10:31,279 of this painting shift before your eyes 197 00:10:31,279 --> 00:10:32,799 and they change the image. 198 00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:36,879 And as you get closer, the image feels like 199 00:10:36,879 --> 00:10:40,240 it becomes more real and then something around the edges 200 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:44,079 shifts and you just, you've lost that memory 201 00:10:44,079 --> 00:10:45,839 and it changes to something else. 202 00:10:49,279 --> 00:10:52,879 The edges begin to morph and change 203 00:10:52,879 --> 00:10:55,519 and you feel this weakness begin to return. 204 00:10:59,519 --> 00:11:02,240 Can I rip this painting down? 205 00:11:03,279 --> 00:11:07,039 Yeah, I want to, I want to, I want to take it down. 206 00:11:09,279 --> 00:11:10,639 I want to rip it if I can. 207 00:11:10,639 --> 00:11:12,480 Pull it off the wall and it's, yeah, 208 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,960 it feels canvas in your hands, 209 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,120 a wooden frame, canvas back. 210 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:20,000 You see the painting evolving before you. 211 00:11:22,879 --> 00:11:26,159 I want to like hold, how big is this? 212 00:11:26,799 --> 00:11:28,000 Foot and a half, two feet. 213 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:28,320 Okay. 214 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:28,879 Yep. 215 00:11:28,879 --> 00:11:31,039 Big enough for me to hold, like. 216 00:11:31,039 --> 00:11:31,519 Yeah. 217 00:11:31,519 --> 00:11:34,320 And then step on. 218 00:11:34,879 --> 00:11:35,519 Sure. 219 00:11:35,519 --> 00:11:38,080 And I'm trying to bust, I'm trying to bust it up. 220 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,399 So I'm holding onto the edges and I'm, 221 00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:42,000 and I'm stomping on it. 222 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,799 Yeah, you put it down and you lift your foot 223 00:11:44,799 --> 00:11:47,600 and you go and you see like every, 224 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:51,200 it kind of clues, clicks in for a moment 225 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:54,400 that every image you have, there's like a missing piece. 226 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,000 There's something in this image 227 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,520 that hasn't quite been filled in. 228 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,280 And then as the painting shifts once more, 229 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:02,560 as you're holding it, 230 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:05,040 it fills in something that you recognize 231 00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:08,640 and then the painting shifts and you feel weaker. 232 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,400 And as you lower your foot, 233 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:16,000 you want to roll into strength or sleight of hand 234 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,440 or something to cause damage to. 235 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,000 You should try unfocusing your eyes 236 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,200 in case it's a magic eye puzzle. 237 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,080 That'll do it. 238 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,399 There's probably a boat or a dolphin or something in there. 239 00:12:24,399 --> 00:12:26,240 Yeah, an elephant. 240 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,039 Oh, fuck off. 241 00:12:27,039 --> 00:12:28,000 Ooh. 242 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:28,480 Nat 1. 243 00:12:30,159 --> 00:12:31,039 Fuck. 244 00:12:31,039 --> 00:12:32,639 I feel like this is a pivotal moment. 245 00:12:32,639 --> 00:12:33,919 Of course I would roll a Nat 1. 246 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:34,879 Yeah, of course you would, 247 00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:37,679 but you can fail upwards in story 248 00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:38,799 and still move forward. 249 00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:39,600 It's fine, yeah. 250 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:41,440 Just not in my favor. 251 00:12:43,039 --> 00:12:43,679 You don't know. 252 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:44,559 Oh yeah, I don't know. 253 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,600 As you lose your bAlydince 254 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:49,680 as this last image 255 00:12:50,879 --> 00:12:52,879 kind of comes into view 256 00:12:52,879 --> 00:12:55,440 and that click of recognition, 257 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,279 what's the image that clicks for you? 258 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,000 Something that you actually recognize 259 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:00,960 from your real life. 260 00:13:01,759 --> 00:13:03,759 Oh, it's Tally. 261 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,120 Sitting down, just crisscross applesauce. 262 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,040 She's holding one of the books that we have 263 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,720 and looking up expectantly. 264 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:19,279 You see Tally and she's looking up at you 265 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:24,720 and it's as if the painting was from your perspective 266 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,519 as you were walking into this room and seeing her. 267 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,320 And as that clicks into place, 268 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,800 you feel it suddenly vanish 269 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:35,600 and you lose your bAlydince 270 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,680 and you fall through this painting 271 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,360 and the frame cracks 272 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,360 and the canvas warps 273 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,440 and crumples beneath you 274 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:46,480 and you feel yourself hit the ground 275 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:51,120 and then you hear the door creak open behind you 276 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:53,440 as footsteps begin to come in 277 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:54,640 and in this bleary 278 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:58,960 again, narrowing of vision, 279 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,200 you look up and you see the two people 280 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,280 who've been before you 281 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:04,560 but instead of seeing... 282 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,720 Well, actually now you have a chance 283 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,640 to really sit with it 284 00:14:10,639 --> 00:14:15,600 and realize that you haven't actually seen their faces. 285 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:20,480 You haven't been able to put a picture 286 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,879 to these people that have been before you. 287 00:14:22,879 --> 00:14:23,600 Like they've... 288 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,439 There's a familiarity to them. 289 00:14:25,439 --> 00:14:27,199 You know, the clothes feel the same. 290 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:30,080 There's been a smell, you know, 291 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:33,199 kind of of what you think home should feel like 292 00:14:33,199 --> 00:14:35,679 but then now as you look towards them, 293 00:14:35,679 --> 00:14:37,679 faces become clear 294 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,960 and these figures before you begin to, 295 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:44,640 like the painting and the brushstrokes moving, 296 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,640 become shadowy figures 297 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:49,840 that have empty music box eyes 298 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,640 and their voices that start with 299 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,440 Alydin, are you okay? 300 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:59,600 Warp into a single droning note 301 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,600 as everything goes dark. 302 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:03,600 Fuck! 303 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:04,500 Fuck! 304 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:08,180 Fuck! 305 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,200 Damn it, shit! 306 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:13,120 Come and save me, I'm doing a terrible job. 307 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,360 I'm barely keeping it together over here. 308 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:20,399 We just got to kill like 50 monsters 309 00:15:20,399 --> 00:15:21,519 and not children. 310 00:15:21,519 --> 00:15:23,680 No, no problem. 311 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,279 Just try not to murder kids. 312 00:15:25,279 --> 00:15:27,120 The kids try and murder you, right? 313 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,360 I mean, all's fair. 314 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:34,159 Welcome to the middle, everybody. 315 00:15:34,159 --> 00:15:35,680 Thanks for being here. 316 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:36,879 It's getting real tense. 317 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:40,720 Real tense, which we can't say 318 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:42,960 for fear of spoilers 319 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,240 for the people watching this live, 320 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:45,120 which you can too. 321 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,399 Oh God, there's too many parameters. 322 00:15:50,399 --> 00:15:51,519 I'm trying to think of like 323 00:15:51,519 --> 00:15:53,039 where we would be in the story 324 00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:53,920 and I'm like, I don't know. 325 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,440 So there's a lot going on. 326 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,080 It's a, you know, it's a pivotal moment. 327 00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,280 Yeah, things are happening. 328 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:01,120 Yes, that pivotal moment. 329 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,680 Yeah, things are happening and 330 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:04,560 People are there. 331 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:05,759 People are there. 332 00:16:05,759 --> 00:16:06,160 Yep. 333 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:07,120 There are events. 334 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:08,879 Probably a problem. 335 00:16:08,879 --> 00:16:10,639 May or may not be unfolding. 336 00:16:10,639 --> 00:16:11,520 Could be. 337 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:12,639 Maybe we're on a quest. 338 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,320 It's possible. 339 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:15,200 So when Russ said 340 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:18,080 if you're watching this in the future, 341 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,160 for anyone who doesn't already know, 342 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:21,920 if you are a patron 343 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:23,840 and you are subscribed as the 344 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,680 supporting producer level or up, 345 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:29,520 you can actually come and watch us 346 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,600 do this baloney live 347 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:34,960 while we do it. 348 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,480 Just live, unedited. 349 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,080 To see how the sausage is made. 350 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:38,580 Yep. 351 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:40,560 Just bananas. 352 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:41,520 Raw bananas. 353 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,440 Raw bananas. 354 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:44,640 Raw bananas over here. 355 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,720 So you can visit us 356 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:50,080 at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast. 357 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:51,040 You did it. 358 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:51,760 That sounds right. 359 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,840 And you also get a patron dedicated to you 360 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,200 like today's patron. 361 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,120 Digital replica of a person. 362 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:03,520 That's amazing. 363 00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:08,080 Long enough to put that credit card info in there. 364 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,559 I think we've got an in on the robot uprising. 365 00:17:10,559 --> 00:17:12,080 So well done, guys. 366 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,720 They should probably check out our cyberpunk stuff. 367 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:15,200 Probably. 368 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:17,279 Absolutely. 369 00:17:17,279 --> 00:17:20,160 Maybe because they're a digital replica of a person, 370 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:21,519 they could help get that out. 371 00:17:21,519 --> 00:17:23,519 So yeah. 372 00:17:23,519 --> 00:17:24,559 And then they could listen to it. 373 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:26,559 All of those things. 374 00:17:26,559 --> 00:17:29,519 No pressure digital replica of a human. 375 00:17:33,279 --> 00:17:34,319 Come on over. 376 00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:35,039 We'll put you to work. 377 00:17:35,039 --> 00:17:36,480 Just looking for a side hustle. 378 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:37,359 That's right. 379 00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:37,859 Okay. 380 00:17:38,319 --> 00:17:39,519 Thanks for listening. 381 00:17:39,519 --> 00:17:42,240 We hope that you're enjoying the story thus far. 382 00:17:43,519 --> 00:17:44,720 Wherever it is. 383 00:17:45,519 --> 00:17:46,399 We're in the middle of it. 384 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,399 We're in the middle of it right now. 385 00:17:48,399 --> 00:17:49,359 It's happening. 386 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,200 Which makes this the middle of the middle. 387 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,159 Oh my god. 388 00:17:52,159 --> 00:17:53,440 This should be the end of the middle though. 389 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:54,799 This should be the end of the middle. 390 00:17:54,799 --> 00:17:55,759 Oh yeah. 391 00:17:55,759 --> 00:17:56,799 We're at the end of the middle. 392 00:17:56,799 --> 00:17:58,160 Star wipe and we're out. 393 00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:58,319 Okay. 394 00:17:58,319 --> 00:17:58,640 Love you. 395 00:17:58,640 --> 00:17:58,799 Bye. 396 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:03,599 Okay. 397 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:05,440 Discordant note. 398 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:10,879 Bonwyn, you see these strings that are coming from the monsters to the banjo man 399 00:18:10,879 --> 00:18:16,720 to these pickets that are set up around these instruments that are set up around the space. 400 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:23,680 The banjo man lets out another one of these that echoes vibrations throughout the entire 401 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:31,440 space and gives these monsters more power as they are barreling down towards you. 402 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,320 Bizard, it's your turn. 403 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:38,400 Right in front of you is the jack-in-the-box. 404 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:42,720 Behind that is the stuffed bear. 405 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:44,480 Stuffed guardian we'll call them. 406 00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:49,440 The marionettes are swarming out from the trees so they're not on you yet. 407 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,720 But there are dozens of them swarming. 408 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:56,880 And then the porcelain doll knight was on horseback 409 00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:00,240 coming around from the house which is about 50 feet away. 410 00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:03,759 I forgot there was something on fucking horseback. 411 00:19:03,759 --> 00:19:04,720 Jesus Christ. 412 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:04,960 Yeah. 413 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,039 How far away is the banjo man? 414 00:19:07,759 --> 00:19:09,839 He would be on the porch. 415 00:19:09,839 --> 00:19:14,960 So we'll say 50 feet just because that's the number I said. 416 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:15,200 Okay. 417 00:19:18,079 --> 00:19:19,200 That's how this game works. 418 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,880 That's the one, yeah. 419 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:25,440 I'm going to point at the banjo man and I'm going to say 420 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:30,800 all of these machinations here mean nothing without you. 421 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,800 So really you're the source of it. 422 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,960 And really you're not even the source of it, Calder. 423 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:37,600 You're the source of a deal. 424 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:43,040 So really whoever's pulling your strings is who we need to find. 425 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:44,720 But we'll take care of you for now. 426 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:48,000 And I'm going to disengage and I'm going to be in a blade song 427 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,480 and move 30 feet straight towards him. 428 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:58,480 And that is my bonus action and action and movement. 429 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:02,000 Okay, so you are cutting around Jack in the Box 430 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,400 between that and the Stuffed Guardian 431 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,160 making your way towards the house. 432 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:07,440 Yeah. 433 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:09,040 Very cool. 434 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:16,160 Okay, next up is the Jack in the Box and the Stuffed Guardian. 435 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,000 So you've disengaged. 436 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,680 So you are cutting between as the Jack in the Box 437 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,839 is throwing its head back and forth. 438 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:29,599 You're dodging beneath this giant stuffed animal's legs. 439 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:37,200 The Jack in the Box is going to attempt a spring-loaded lunge 440 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:43,279 towards Kavlaran. 441 00:20:43,279 --> 00:20:48,720 Kavlaran, that's going to be a 14 to hit you 442 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,879 as it's waving back and forth. 443 00:20:50,879 --> 00:20:51,599 That will hit. 444 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,240 All right then. 445 00:20:57,759 --> 00:20:58,240 Three. 446 00:20:59,599 --> 00:21:00,480 What kind of damage? 447 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:01,440 It's probably bludgeoning. 448 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:02,160 That makes sense. 449 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:09,279 Oh, three bludgeoning and one psychic damage. 450 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:10,879 Oh, okay. 451 00:21:10,879 --> 00:21:12,160 Because this is fucked up. 452 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,840 Because this is just 25% of my total health pool. 453 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,519 Nothing, no problem. 454 00:21:17,519 --> 00:21:18,560 No problem. 455 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,200 Just one attack, just 25%, don't worry. 456 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:21,840 Yeah, no worries. 457 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:25,519 This Jack in the Box knocks into you 458 00:21:25,519 --> 00:21:27,360 and lets out this roiling laugh. 459 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:31,040 The Stuffed Guardian is going to turn 460 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,680 and take chase of you, Bizard. 461 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:34,640 Okay. 462 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:39,040 That's going to be a 13. 463 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:40,480 No, sir. 464 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,080 Interesting. 465 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,120 So it's trying to bear hug you. 466 00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:48,240 It's trying to grapple you 467 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,519 and you dodge out of the way 468 00:21:49,519 --> 00:21:53,680 as you continue making your way towards the porch. 469 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,360 Bonwyn, it's your turn. 470 00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,000 Fantastic. 471 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,680 So no one has attacked me yet? 472 00:21:58,800 --> 00:21:59,040 No. 473 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,120 And also it doesn't appear 474 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:04,000 that anybody has seen what you've seen. 475 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,840 Okay, I am going to, 476 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,480 and I'll dash if I need to, 477 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:09,920 to get to them. 478 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,480 And I have just a, 479 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:14,880 it's not a martial hammer, 480 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,440 but it is just my work hammer with me 481 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,840 and I'm going to try and smash some shit. 482 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,960 You're going towards the pickets 483 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,560 or the monster? 484 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:25,200 The pickets. 485 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:26,000 The pickets, okay. 486 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:26,800 Yeah. 487 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,880 So yeah, there are five in total 488 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,759 that you can see and they're spread around. 489 00:22:31,759 --> 00:22:34,000 You could dash. 490 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,000 You are close enough to the Jack in the Box 491 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,160 that if you did not disengage 492 00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:41,440 that you would take an opportunity attack. 493 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:42,640 Okay, great. 494 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,560 Then I guess I will disengage. 495 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,160 I don't want him to attack me. 496 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:46,880 Okay. 497 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,320 Just want to scoot away 498 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:49,759 and start hitting things 499 00:22:49,759 --> 00:22:53,200 with my big heavy weapon smash hammer. 500 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,040 To make it to the first one, 501 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,120 I don't think you would need to dash, 502 00:22:57,120 --> 00:22:59,519 but you do lose an action. 503 00:22:59,519 --> 00:23:01,519 Is it a full action to disengage? 504 00:23:01,519 --> 00:23:02,880 Yeah, it's your action. 505 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,480 Okay, well I'm ready. 506 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,320 You could risk the opportunity attack. 507 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:06,800 Your call. 508 00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:09,680 Or I could risk the opportunity attack. 509 00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:12,399 Bonwyn doesn't know. 510 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,720 I'll risk the opportunity attack 511 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:15,759 and see what happens. 512 00:23:15,759 --> 00:23:16,799 Bold move, Cotton. 513 00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:21,119 Oh, that's a six. 514 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:22,159 Oh, it's not going to do it. 515 00:23:22,159 --> 00:23:22,559 It's a six. 516 00:23:22,559 --> 00:23:25,119 So yeah, as you catch it between- 517 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:26,879 Fortune favors the bold, I run. 518 00:23:28,559 --> 00:23:29,039 Amazing. 519 00:23:29,039 --> 00:23:31,519 Okay, yeah, you can make it to the first one. 520 00:23:31,519 --> 00:23:33,119 So you bolt off to your right. 521 00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:34,079 So right of the group 522 00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:37,279 that you're running towards 523 00:23:37,279 --> 00:23:38,960 one of these swarms of marionettes, 524 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,720 but you can make it to this picket 525 00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:41,839 before they get to you. 526 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:43,279 Sweet. 527 00:23:43,279 --> 00:23:44,879 I don't have stats for the hammer. 528 00:23:44,879 --> 00:23:46,399 It just says, like, 529 00:23:46,399 --> 00:23:49,439 hammer, good for smashing open treasure chests 530 00:23:49,439 --> 00:23:51,439 is the way it's described. 531 00:23:51,439 --> 00:23:52,879 We could say a D6. 532 00:23:52,879 --> 00:23:54,000 Let's say a D6. 533 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,159 That seems reasonable. 534 00:23:56,159 --> 00:23:57,439 And I guess just damage 535 00:23:57,439 --> 00:23:59,359 because it's not dodging me. 536 00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:00,399 It's an immobile object. 537 00:24:00,399 --> 00:24:02,000 There's nothing around you immediately. 538 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,679 Yeah, I rolled a D8 and got an eight. 539 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:04,960 So does that mean a six? 540 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:05,519 I think that's one. 541 00:24:05,519 --> 00:24:06,880 No, two. 542 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:09,759 Two is what I actually got on the D6. 543 00:24:09,759 --> 00:24:11,120 I'm going to put the D8 away. 544 00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:11,759 It's not for me. 545 00:24:11,759 --> 00:24:13,200 Eight minus six is two. 546 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:15,360 Rewind a little bit here. 547 00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:17,440 You bolt between this jack in the box 548 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:18,799 as it's swinging back and forth 549 00:24:18,799 --> 00:24:20,560 and you're running towards this picket. 550 00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:22,960 Kavlaran and Bizarre, 551 00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:24,640 you kind of catch out of the corner of your eye. 552 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:26,960 Well, Kavlaran, you specifically see 553 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,920 as Bonwyn bolts off to the side. 554 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,320 Bizarre, you see out of the corner of your eye 555 00:24:32,319 --> 00:24:34,720 as you swing down on top of this instrument, 556 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,200 this violin that's coming up and out. 557 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:40,399 It's white and looks like it's connected 558 00:24:40,399 --> 00:24:42,159 partially to this picket fence. 559 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:46,559 And you strike it and this discordant note rings. 560 00:24:46,559 --> 00:24:50,639 And as it does, you see this fracture 561 00:24:50,639 --> 00:24:53,839 move through the air and towards the banjo man 562 00:24:53,839 --> 00:24:56,399 who lets out this guttural, 563 00:24:57,599 --> 00:24:59,279 not shriek, guttural yell 564 00:24:59,839 --> 00:25:04,559 as he turns and locks eyes with you, Bonwyn. 565 00:25:04,559 --> 00:25:06,079 Yeah, and I say, good, 566 00:25:06,799 --> 00:25:08,480 because I'm mad that I hit him earlier 567 00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:10,079 and it did nothing, so. 568 00:25:10,079 --> 00:25:11,759 It didn't do nothing, but it did. 569 00:25:11,759 --> 00:25:12,960 I mean, it didn't murder him. 570 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:13,920 Didn't do much. 571 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:14,720 He laughed. 572 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:16,399 So I just, he's trying to eyeball me. 573 00:25:16,399 --> 00:25:18,079 I'm just eyeballing him right back. 574 00:25:18,079 --> 00:25:19,440 Yeah, hammer. 575 00:25:20,079 --> 00:25:21,920 So Bizarre, as you're running, 576 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:24,399 you see this fracture go towards him 577 00:25:24,399 --> 00:25:26,319 and like see out of the corner of your eye. 578 00:25:26,319 --> 00:25:29,519 Bonwyn go for this picket instrument. 579 00:25:30,639 --> 00:25:32,559 Did it destroy it or is it still there? 580 00:25:32,559 --> 00:25:33,839 It appears to be fractured. 581 00:25:35,839 --> 00:25:37,519 Like how you would smash a violin, 582 00:25:37,519 --> 00:25:39,119 you can't play a violin anymore. 583 00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:39,519 Right. 584 00:25:39,519 --> 00:25:40,079 Exactly. 585 00:25:40,639 --> 00:25:41,039 Right. 586 00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:41,359 Yeah. 587 00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:41,679 Okay. 588 00:25:41,679 --> 00:25:43,359 The devil will not go down to Georgia 589 00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:45,200 with this particular fiddle. 590 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:45,759 No. 591 00:25:45,759 --> 00:25:46,399 He still might. 592 00:25:46,399 --> 00:25:48,399 I'm sure they've got good repair shops there. 593 00:25:50,559 --> 00:25:52,879 I kind of let out a smirk. 594 00:25:52,879 --> 00:25:55,919 I'm like, very clever, very clever. 595 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,880 Okay, I'm going to continue walking towards him, 596 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:02,240 but I'll do a spin as part of my blade dance 597 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:03,680 and I'm going to cast magic missile. 598 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:04,480 It's not your turn. 599 00:26:05,120 --> 00:26:06,480 Oh, I thought you said it was. 600 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,320 I was just giving you some information. 601 00:26:09,279 --> 00:26:10,720 Oh, I 100% thought you were crazy. 602 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,720 I also was like, okay, great. 603 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,120 I guess the banjo man hasn't had a turn yet, 604 00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:16,720 so that probably needs to happen first. 605 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,960 Is he not turning the entire time? 606 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:20,160 Oh yeah, that's true. 607 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:21,680 Banjo man's doing things, don't worry. 608 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:22,960 Apologies. 609 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:24,480 Yes, it's not quite your turn yet. 610 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,400 There's a couple of monsters and a Kavlaran to go. 611 00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:28,079 Oh, that's right. 612 00:26:28,079 --> 00:26:28,319 I thought Kavlaran was... 613 00:26:28,319 --> 00:26:31,680 Just providing some insight to the action around. 614 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,120 Sorry, I got excited. 615 00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:33,920 Yeah, no, it was great. 616 00:26:35,759 --> 00:26:36,559 That's good. 617 00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:39,680 Okay, the marionette swarms. 618 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:40,799 There are two of them. 619 00:26:40,799 --> 00:26:43,039 One of them is coming towards you, Bazaar, 620 00:26:43,039 --> 00:26:45,920 and one of them was like close to you, Bonwyn. 621 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,079 It's going to come down on top of you. 622 00:26:48,079 --> 00:26:50,000 And these do not have the faces of children 623 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:50,880 that we recognize. 624 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:52,160 These are just generic. 625 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:55,440 These are dozens of dangling faceless puppets. 626 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:55,840 Okay, great. 627 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:56,800 Controlled by unseen children. 628 00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:57,920 Oh, that's fine then. 629 00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:58,560 No worries. 630 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:00,160 So much better. 631 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:00,800 No worries. 632 00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:06,320 Yeah, they come down and I need you to make both of you, 633 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:07,440 because there are two of them. 634 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,000 One is going to come down on each and top of you. 635 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,120 Make dexterity saving throws, please. 636 00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:14,080 That's a 19. 637 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:14,720 23. 638 00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:16,000 There we go. 639 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:16,720 19 and 22. 640 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:19,040 Remember how I'm a rogue, so I'm dexterous? 641 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:20,800 Yeah, I'm dancing. 642 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:21,120 Awesome. 643 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:23,280 Yeah, you're like mid-dance. 644 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:23,920 You're ready. 645 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:29,280 You see these come down and they release, 646 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,160 similarly to Bonwyn particularly, 647 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:35,440 what you've seen with the strings leading up to 648 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,760 and around the monsters and all that sort of stuff. 649 00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:41,520 You see these ethereal strings come down 650 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,280 and they try and latch onto you. 651 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,200 And Bazaar, do you see this as well? 652 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:48,320 They're trying to grasp hold of your arms and legs, 653 00:27:48,319 --> 00:27:51,119 but you manage to maneuver out of the way 654 00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:53,919 as they kind of swarm above your head. 655 00:27:54,559 --> 00:27:59,359 The sound of hooves cuts across the lawn 656 00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:02,079 and is charging towards you, Kvlarin, 657 00:28:03,039 --> 00:28:06,720 as this porcelain doll on rocking horseback 658 00:28:07,679 --> 00:28:13,519 draws a blade and swings down at you for a... 659 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:16,079 That's a 15. 660 00:28:17,039 --> 00:28:18,079 Oh, that'll hit. 661 00:28:18,079 --> 00:28:18,639 Yeah, baby. 662 00:28:22,639 --> 00:28:25,359 So that's another five slashing damage. 663 00:28:26,399 --> 00:28:26,799 Buddy. 664 00:28:27,439 --> 00:28:28,879 Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. 665 00:28:28,879 --> 00:28:29,519 That's great. 666 00:28:29,519 --> 00:28:31,039 I feel a little rough. 667 00:28:34,399 --> 00:28:37,839 Do I have a healing kit or anything from a friend? 668 00:28:37,839 --> 00:28:40,399 So Kvlarin, it's now your turn. 669 00:28:40,399 --> 00:28:42,639 The jack in the box is right in front of you. 670 00:28:42,639 --> 00:28:47,199 This horse has run past you. 671 00:28:47,519 --> 00:28:50,319 The rider has swiped down at you. 672 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,600 It is going to continue to run past you. 673 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:54,559 It hasn't stopped. 674 00:28:54,559 --> 00:28:57,840 So I'll give you an opportunity attack as it moves past you. 675 00:28:57,840 --> 00:28:59,279 Okay, I'll take it. 676 00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:01,600 That's just straight up damage 677 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:02,720 or do I have to roll the hit as well? 678 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,240 You'd have to roll the hit still. 679 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,080 Okay, I can do those things. 680 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:08,480 That's a 19 to hit. 681 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:11,680 Nice, 19 will hit. 682 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:12,960 Yeah, and give me some damage. 683 00:29:13,759 --> 00:29:16,000 All right, and I'm going to treat this 684 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,160 as like a two-handed swing. 685 00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:18,880 Of course you are. 686 00:29:19,599 --> 00:29:21,279 Because if I'm taking all these hits, 687 00:29:21,279 --> 00:29:22,880 I probably didn't have my shield out. 688 00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:25,839 That'll be eight damage. 689 00:29:25,839 --> 00:29:27,119 Okay, oh, good hit. 690 00:29:27,839 --> 00:29:29,680 Yeah, take the horse's legs out from it. 691 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:30,180 Yeah. 692 00:29:31,519 --> 00:29:33,359 Eight horse damage. 693 00:29:35,119 --> 00:29:35,680 Amazing. 694 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:39,440 So sorry, you're hitting the horse or the rider? 695 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:42,559 Let's do the horse. 696 00:29:42,559 --> 00:29:43,119 Horse? 697 00:29:43,119 --> 00:29:43,839 Yeah. 698 00:29:43,839 --> 00:29:44,720 Take its legs out. 699 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:45,519 Brute. 700 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,480 The rider swings down with his blade 701 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,920 as you are coming around swinging at the legs 702 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,000 that splinter out from underneath it. 703 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:58,639 There's this another discordant note that rings out 704 00:29:58,639 --> 00:30:02,799 and you see this like this fitsing energy 705 00:30:02,799 --> 00:30:04,639 that comes out from the horse 706 00:30:04,639 --> 00:30:07,599 and like moves itself up to the rider 707 00:30:07,599 --> 00:30:09,839 who is knocked to the ground. 708 00:30:09,839 --> 00:30:12,559 He's prone and he's struggling to try 709 00:30:12,559 --> 00:30:16,159 and get back up now as your full turn starts. 710 00:30:16,159 --> 00:30:18,399 All right, but this jack-in-the-box 711 00:30:18,399 --> 00:30:19,599 is still next to me, right? 712 00:30:20,319 --> 00:30:21,279 Sure is, yeah. 713 00:30:21,279 --> 00:30:24,240 So you've got the prone rider and the jack-in-the-box. 714 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,240 All right, I'm going to take a swing 715 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:27,679 at the jack-in-the-box. 716 00:30:27,679 --> 00:30:28,179 Okay. 717 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:29,919 That is a nat 20. 718 00:30:29,919 --> 00:30:30,419 Yeah! 719 00:30:31,119 --> 00:30:31,759 Nice. 720 00:30:31,759 --> 00:30:33,359 More like jackass in a box. 721 00:30:35,599 --> 00:30:37,440 More like hand him his ass in a box. 722 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:39,200 Is that anything? 723 00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:39,839 I like it. 724 00:30:39,839 --> 00:30:40,319 I like all of it. 725 00:30:40,319 --> 00:30:40,879 It is now. 726 00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:42,240 Keep him coming. 727 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:47,360 That is 13 bludgeoning damage. 728 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:48,960 Hell yeah! 729 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:49,460 Good one! 730 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,240 Just like wailing on this thing. 731 00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,320 Who's laughing now? 732 00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:57,200 It's a real shame though when you hit it far away 733 00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:00,080 it comes back with the increased speed. 734 00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:05,520 Yeah, you swing and I mean I like that 735 00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:10,160 but you swing through and you like hit its face 736 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,120 as it's going down and like knocks into the ground 737 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:14,560 and sticks for a second. 738 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:17,519 As the hammer continues and fractures the box 739 00:31:17,519 --> 00:31:21,040 there's the same energy that rings through 740 00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:24,720 in this note that echoes through your ears. 741 00:31:25,759 --> 00:31:28,000 Still laughing, still appears to be 742 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:31,759 alive. 743 00:31:31,759 --> 00:31:32,259 Jovial. 744 00:31:33,759 --> 00:31:35,279 Still having a great time. 745 00:31:35,279 --> 00:31:36,240 Just happy to be here. 746 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:37,600 Yeah, happy to have a great time. 747 00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:40,000 Anything else you can do? 748 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,120 That's probably all I can do right now 749 00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:46,000 but I'll take a quick peek at any like bonus actions 750 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:46,480 or anything. 751 00:31:47,279 --> 00:31:48,560 Anything fun? 752 00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:54,080 No, I don't have the thing up that I 753 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,240 would have a bonus action for so that's it. 754 00:31:56,240 --> 00:32:00,000 Okay, the banjo man looks around 755 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:04,080 and you see him like start he begins to tune the banjo 756 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:07,279 like he's trying to correct something 757 00:32:07,279 --> 00:32:09,599 and Bizarre you'd be most focused on it 758 00:32:09,599 --> 00:32:12,720 Bonwyn you were focused on the picket and the swarm. 759 00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:19,279 As he tunes like there is this shot of energy 760 00:32:19,279 --> 00:32:23,119 that begins to unravel and move back out 761 00:32:23,119 --> 00:32:27,119 and towards the picket that Bonwyn destroyed. 762 00:32:27,119 --> 00:32:29,440 So it's trying to make its way there 763 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:33,839 it hasn't on this turn and now it's your turn. 764 00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:37,200 Okay. Okay, so kind of repaired that picket 765 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:38,400 and there's five in total. 766 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:40,400 There are five in total. 767 00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:42,320 He has not yet repaired that picket 768 00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,400 but it appears that he is trying to 769 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,320 from what you can determine. 770 00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:48,480 Cool, cool, cool, cool. 771 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:54,400 Well, yeah, I'm gonna just kind of give like 772 00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:57,840 a knowing smirk and say that's the game. 773 00:32:57,840 --> 00:32:59,200 Okay, fair enough. 774 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,360 I'm gonna turn and I'm gonna cast magic missile 775 00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:04,160 at a second level and I'm gonna use one dart 776 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:08,640 for each of the other four that have not been struck. 777 00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:14,320 So those will all do 1d4 plus one damage to them 778 00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,800 which is a total of two force damage. 779 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:18,320 Two force damage each, okay. 780 00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:21,760 But on each one he can't send out repair structures 781 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:22,560 to all of them. 782 00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:24,320 On each one. 783 00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:26,400 So everybody sees his Bizarre 784 00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:29,520 and lets out these magic missiles that fly out 785 00:33:29,519 --> 00:33:31,279 and towards all these other pickets 786 00:33:31,279 --> 00:33:37,680 and they hit with this, lets out this echoing chord 787 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:38,400 at this point. 788 00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:40,639 Like each one sets off its own note 789 00:33:40,639 --> 00:33:44,000 and it's like the final chord of the lullaby 790 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,160 and it shoots all of these energy threads 791 00:33:46,799 --> 00:33:49,200 back up and towards the banjo man 792 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:52,079 and then you see the energy 793 00:33:53,519 --> 00:33:57,680 kind of pull in from him away from the monsters. 794 00:33:57,759 --> 00:34:00,880 The monsters let out this discordant note as well 795 00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:03,680 and they all crumble before you 796 00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:07,200 as all of these pickets simultaneously explode 797 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:08,320 around the perimeter. 798 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:11,200 And we hear my dog has fleas. 799 00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,800 The toys they shudder and collapse. 800 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:21,440 They turn back into lifeless wood or stuffing or fabric 801 00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:25,680 and the banjo man up on the porch growls in irritation 802 00:34:25,679 --> 00:34:30,639 but still smirks and he turns away from the group 803 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,440 as everything falls back to the ground. 804 00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:36,159 The Marionettes landing on the ground around you. 805 00:34:36,159 --> 00:34:39,599 Bonwyn and Bizard, the Jack in the Box 806 00:34:39,599 --> 00:34:41,359 releasing itself from the ground 807 00:34:41,359 --> 00:34:45,599 and then just helplessly floundering back and forth. 808 00:34:45,599 --> 00:34:49,039 He turns and he opens the door to the house 809 00:34:49,039 --> 00:34:52,799 that he's in front of and takes a few steps inside 810 00:34:52,799 --> 00:34:54,799 leaving the door open behind him. 811 00:34:55,679 --> 00:34:59,440 From your view he disappears into shadow. 812 00:35:02,319 --> 00:35:07,359 Upstairs, Alydin, you hear the front door open 813 00:35:08,879 --> 00:35:10,960 you hear footsteps come inside 814 00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:14,000 they're different from the footsteps you've heard before. 815 00:35:15,199 --> 00:35:16,879 Down at the end of the bed though 816 00:35:17,599 --> 00:35:22,319 as you see the two figures standing watching over you 817 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:28,480 as this droning note lulls you into this weakened state. 818 00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:49,120 Dumbgeons and Dragons Season 4 Episode 20 819 00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:51,600 starring Amy More as Alydin 820 00:35:51,599 --> 00:35:54,079 Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane 821 00:35:54,079 --> 00:35:56,400 Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave 822 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:58,719 Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard 823 00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:01,119 and Russ More as your dungeon master. 824 00:36:01,119 --> 00:36:04,880 Dialogue editing and sound design of today's episode is by Russ More. 825 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,440 Our community manager is Jessica Babyuk. 826 00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:09,279 Music is from Epidemic Sound 827 00:36:09,279 --> 00:36:12,639 and sound effects are from Epidemic Sound and Boom Library. 828 00:36:12,639 --> 00:36:15,279 Our amazing cover art is by Matt Garbut 829 00:36:15,279 --> 00:36:18,880 and we'd like to say a huge thank you to our supporting producers 830 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:21,519 including Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyuk. 831 00:36:21,519 --> 00:36:23,599 Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, 832 00:36:23,599 --> 00:36:25,679 Angaron Kiersen, Perry Matey, 833 00:36:25,679 --> 00:36:29,280 Old School Gamer D, Craig Zeiss and L.A. Branton. 834 00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:34,159 We'd love for you to join us over on Patreon.com slash DumbDragonCast 835 00:36:34,159 --> 00:36:36,639 where there's so many amazing bonus episodes 836 00:36:36,639 --> 00:36:40,719 and now we're opening up the backstage of our actual records. 837 00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:41,759 Join us today. 838 00:36:41,759 --> 00:36:42,960 Hey, you have a great week. 839 00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:44,079 We'll talk to you soon. 840 00:36:44,079 --> 00:36:45,199 Hope to see you over there. 841 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:48,159 Sassy the Banjo Man, we ain't losing anything. 842 00:36:48,159 --> 00:36:49,440 We're just keeping it going. 843 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:50,159 That's right. 844 00:36:50,159 --> 00:36:51,119 Sass the Banjo Man to death. 845 00:36:51,119 --> 00:36:51,920 Chop up that wine. 846 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:52,319 Let's go. 847 00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,279 I'm taking nighttime cold meds. 848 00:36:55,279 --> 00:36:56,079 Let's do this. 849 00:36:56,079 --> 00:36:57,599 We're on the clock now, baby. 850 00:36:57,599 --> 00:36:58,159 That's okay. 851 00:36:58,159 --> 00:36:58,879 You're sleeping. 852 00:36:58,879 --> 00:36:59,519 So it's fine. 853 00:37:01,119 --> 00:37:03,039 No, because we need her help. 854 00:37:05,839 --> 00:37:07,119 Well, you need her help. 855 00:37:07,119 --> 00:37:08,239 She's not there though. 856 00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:08,559 I know. 857 00:37:09,359 --> 00:37:10,159 You never know. 858 00:37:10,159 --> 00:37:11,279 You need my help? 859 00:37:11,279 --> 00:37:12,239 Well, probably. 860 00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:12,799 Always. 861 00:37:12,799 --> 00:37:17,199 You also probably have 16 or 17 hit points to throw around. 862 00:37:17,199 --> 00:37:18,159 She's got 18. 863 00:37:18,159 --> 00:37:19,359 I have 18. 864 00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:21,200 You're such a robust child. 865 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:22,559 Well, kids bounce. 866 00:37:22,559 --> 00:37:23,280 Yeah, that's true. 867 00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:24,079 Kids bounce. 868 00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:27,200 Yeah, Bonwyn don't bounce no more. 869 00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:28,079 Bonwyn don't bounce. 870 00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:28,160 No. 871 00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:29,039 Bonwyn. 872 00:37:29,039 --> 00:37:30,640 Bonwyn middle-aged woman. 873 00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:30,880 Yeah. 874 00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:33,519 Bonwyn's kind of always thudded, I think. 875 00:37:33,519 --> 00:37:33,760 Bonwyn's solid. 876 00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:35,760 Bonwyn's too old for this shit, okay? 877 00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:36,320 Yeah. 878 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:39,039 Bonwyn's just two weeks from her time. 879 00:37:40,720 --> 00:37:44,880 Hope I can use my magics to help me fuck this chair. 880 00:37:45,599 --> 00:37:46,400 Help you do what? 881 00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:49,360 Help you fuck this chair is what she said. 882 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:49,440 Yep. 883 00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:50,960 That's uh. 884 00:37:52,240 --> 00:37:54,079 I used my knee and just slowly. 885 00:37:54,079 --> 00:37:57,680 This is not what Bazaar has taught you at magic school. 886 00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:58,720 Oh my word. 887 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:01,440 What did you learn while I was gone? 888 00:38:03,519 --> 00:38:06,559 Like maybe my magics didn't help me out. 889 00:38:06,559 --> 00:38:08,559 Billy Magic showed up and showed me things, man. 890 00:38:08,559 --> 00:38:09,440 No, oh my god. 891 00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:13,200 I gave it one of a bitch. 892 00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,680 Billy Magics does sound pervy. 893 00:38:15,679 --> 00:38:16,879 Absolutely. 894 00:38:16,879 --> 00:38:17,440 Oh he is. 895 00:38:18,879 --> 00:38:20,079 I went to school with the fucker. 896 00:38:21,199 --> 00:38:25,199 I just keep writing down notes about all the things Kyle says Billy Magics was. 897 00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:31,919 Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.