Hold on, Tom forgot his dice. Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin in a moment.
All of these warped toys come up out of the ground as everything shakes. The mannequins are
making their way into the forest as Kavlaran and Bizard. You see mannequins shaped as the
children you recognize. I have to be specific. Disappear into the forest. The banjo man lets
out a discordant chord and a melody rings out. Everybody roll perception, please.
Oh, nat 20.
Damn, Carla.
Really roller coaster-ing it.
14.
As you all prepare yourselves, Bonwyn, you're kind of coming back to after firing a very
powerful shot into the banjo man's instrument. And as he lets out this chord, you see
ripples within the air caught on the mist, almost like strings coming from the banjo man
to the toys, to the large warped toys that stand imposing in front of you.
And from the banjo man to what you see as picket fence instruments that have been set
up and come up and out of the ground. He lets out another chord as they begin to
rush forward towards you with huge footsteps and this creaking, laughing jack-in-the-box
coming at you. Let's roll for initiative.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast and I'm your dungeon master,
Russ More, he, him. Also with me today is Amy More as Alydin, she, her.
More like jackass in a box.
Carla Maxtad as Bonwyn Everbane, she, her.
I just want to scoot away.
Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, he, him.
So it's just 25% of my total health pool.
Sure.
And Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard, he, him.
Phew, but no.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast and we love and appreciate all of
the support that we get from our community. You can join us today at patreon.com slash
dumb dragon cast. Not only do you get amazing bonus episodes of shows like The
Adventures of, but you could also join us backstage at our regular recordings.
Check it out today. And now, fuck it, let's play.
Alydin, you groggily eyed, groggily eyed.
Speaking of Russ saying crazy things, I would like to
four years later, in Russ's defense, say that both rifled through and riffled through
are legitimate turns of phrase.
Because I saw riffled somewhere else and I was like, huh.
Son of a bitch.
And I was like, and I made a note. I was like, I need to say,
Russ, you were right. It's both.
Thank you.
Anyway, Alydin wakes up and kicks her dad's ass.
I assume that's what you were going to say next.
Yeah, that's right. Actually, what I said is groggily eyed.
Alydin, you bleary eyed wake up again in your bed.
It appears you've been tucked in and you.
Am I wearing the same clothes?
You are wearing the same clothes.
Good. Bad parents.
And up till now, they've seemed like great parents.
Really, really been good. Yep.
You're in your same clothes. You are tucked into the bed and you
are trying to clear the haze and you think for a second.
Actually, roll perception as you wake up.
Or tell me your passive perception, whichever you prefer.
My passive perception is 10.
It's one more than what I rolled.
OK.
How about that?
You think you hear the sound of like a groaning monster
coming from somewhere.
And then it's gone.
As you shoot up in your bed, you look out the window
and you see it's still nighttime.
The picket fence out there, the blowing grass.
That sound fades away from you.
And you look over to the right, to the mirror,
and you see for just an instant,
like your face begin to warp into the mirror
and then snap back.
OK.
Alydin hops out of bed upon seeing her twisted face
in the mirror and picks up, I don't know,
whatever, something figurine on the desk.
I don't, I don't know, whatever.
And I want to smash that fucking mirror.
OK.
Because it's creepy as shit.
I'm hearing monster sounds.
My face is looking all fucked up.
No, thank you.
Are you breaking it to break it?
You're not being stealthy, sneaky in any way.
You're just...
No.
Great.
You pick up this figurine and hurl it at the mirror
and as it strikes, there's a cracking sound.
And instead of showing shattered glass,
it reveals a swirling void.
Blacks and blues and stars and something ethereal and beyond.
I, I, I reach in the dresser and get
a pair of balled up socks and I throw it into the void.
And as you throw it, just as it would be about to hit the void,
the mirror repairs itself and it bounces off and falls to the dresser.
But there's no glass anywhere.
No.
Did it make a sound at all?
No.
Fuck.
I break it again.
The same process repeats.
A swirling void before you instead of shattering glass.
And I want, as soon as I break it,
I want to like pick the socks up again and try to put it through.
I'm trying to catch it before it mends itself.
No.
Yeah.
I see what you're saying.
So you're just trying to put the socks through the void.
Yeah.
See if it's a space.
I want to see if it's a space.
Is this like a path?
Like, is this a through way?
Or am I just looking into something?
Every time you try to put the socks through, the mirror repairs itself.
It doesn't matter how long you break it.
You try and shove it through like almost at the same instant.
Doesn't seem to allow anything to pass into it.
You hear footsteps starting to come up the stairs.
Two sets.
Before...
Alydin, is everything okay?
Yeah, everything's fine.
I want to break it one more time.
And then I want to say, what are you?
I'm talking to my mirror.
As one does.
You magic?
Hey, you magic?
Hey.
You magic?
Obviously.
That's what the mirror would say.
Yeah.
Duh.
Thought you were supposed to be the smart kid.
What is this?
Hmm.
Sorry, your question is, what are you?
Yeah.
That's a good question.
That's a great question.
I don't think anything responds.
Where am I?
Who are those people downstairs?
The footsteps are now outside the door.
I hear a light knock.
Are you feeling better?
Uh, yeah, yeah, no, I'm feeling a lot better.
That was, that was real weird.
I'll be out in a second.
Um, I want to break it again.
It's not making any noise, right?
So I'm going to break it again.
I want to just the loudest glass shattering noise every time.
Who am I?
Yeah.
Alydin's just lost her hearing.
Okay.
Who am I?
Interesting question.
Okay.
I'm imagining a montage of like, I've smashed this thing 50 times.
And I'm like, what is going on?
Where am I?
Who are these people?
Who am I?
On that last question, and almost like a frustration,
you turn your attention away from the mirror.
In the corner of your eye, you see it repair itself,
and it's back to being a mirror.
And in the reflection of the mirror,
now focus not on, on yourself or on the mirror.
There's a painting on the wall behind you.
What's it up?
You turn around and you look at it.
And as you turn around, you, you stop for a second
because you realize that the footsteps
haven't walked away from the door.
The two people on the other side
claiming to be your parents are still standing there.
You see shadows beneath the slit in the door.
You draw your attention to the painting
and it shows a life that you don't remember.
It shows you in a childhood home.
There are vacations, moments that should feel real.
A roll investigation.
Can't investigate.
Oh wait, no, I can't.
19.
You see as you get closer the brush strokes
of this painting shift before your eyes
and they change the image.
And as you get closer, the image feels like
it becomes more real and then something around the edges
shifts and you just, you've lost that memory
and it changes to something else.
The edges begin to morph and change
and you feel this weakness begin to return.
Can I rip this painting down?
Yeah, I want to, I want to, I want to take it down.
I want to rip it if I can.
Pull it off the wall and it's, yeah,
it feels canvas in your hands,
a wooden frame, canvas back.
You see the painting evolving before you.
I want to like hold, how big is this?
Foot and a half, two feet.
Okay.
Yep.
Big enough for me to hold, like.
Yeah.
And then step on.
Sure.
And I'm trying to bust, I'm trying to bust it up.
So I'm holding onto the edges and I'm,
and I'm stomping on it.
Yeah, you put it down and you lift your foot
and you go and you see like every,
it kind of clues, clicks in for a moment
that every image you have, there's like a missing piece.
There's something in this image
that hasn't quite been filled in.
And then as the painting shifts once more,
as you're holding it,
it fills in something that you recognize
and then the painting shifts and you feel weaker.
And as you lower your foot,
you want to roll into strength or sleight of hand
or something to cause damage to.
You should try unfocusing your eyes
in case it's a magic eye puzzle.
That'll do it.
There's probably a boat or a dolphin or something in there.
Yeah, an elephant.
Oh, fuck off.
Ooh.
Nat 1.
Fuck.
I feel like this is a pivotal moment.
Of course I would roll a Nat 1.
Yeah, of course you would,
but you can fail upwards in story
and still move forward.
It's fine, yeah.
Just not in my favor.
You don't know.
Oh yeah, I don't know.
As you lose your bAlydince
as this last image
kind of comes into view
and that click of recognition,
what's the image that clicks for you?
Something that you actually recognize
from your real life.
Oh, it's Tally.
Sitting down, just crisscross applesauce.
She's holding one of the books that we have
and looking up expectantly.
You see Tally and she's looking up at you
and it's as if the painting was from your perspective
as you were walking into this room and seeing her.
And as that clicks into place,
you feel it suddenly vanish
and you lose your bAlydince
and you fall through this painting
and the frame cracks
and the canvas warps
and crumples beneath you
and you feel yourself hit the ground
and then you hear the door creak open behind you
as footsteps begin to come in
and in this bleary
again, narrowing of vision,
you look up and you see the two people
who've been before you
but instead of seeing...
Well, actually now you have a chance
to really sit with it
and realize that you haven't actually seen their faces.
You haven't been able to put a picture
to these people that have been before you.
Like they've...
There's a familiarity to them.
You know, the clothes feel the same.
There's been a smell, you know,
kind of of what you think home should feel like
but then now as you look towards them,
faces become clear
and these figures before you begin to,
like the painting and the brushstrokes moving,
become shadowy figures
that have empty music box eyes
and their voices that start with
Alydin, are you okay?
Warp into a single droning note
as everything goes dark.
Fuck!
Damn it, shit!
Come and save me, I'm doing a terrible job.
I'm barely keeping it together over here.
We just got to kill like 50 monsters
and not children.
No, no problem.
Just try not to murder kids.
The kids try and murder you, right?
I mean, all's fair.
Welcome to the middle, everybody.
Thanks for being here.
It's getting real tense.
Real tense, which we can't say
for fear of spoilers
for the people watching this live,
which you can too.
Oh God, there's too many parameters.
I'm trying to think of like
where we would be in the story
and I'm like, I don't know.
So there's a lot going on.
It's a, you know, it's a pivotal moment.
Yeah, things are happening.
Yes, that pivotal moment.
Yeah, things are happening and
People are there.
Yep.
There are events.
Probably a problem.
May or may not be unfolding.
Could be.
Maybe we're on a quest.
It's possible.
So when Russ said
if you're watching this in the future,
for anyone who doesn't already know,
if you are a patron
and you are subscribed as the
supporting producer level or up,
you can actually come and watch us
do this baloney live
while we do it.
Just live, unedited.
To see how the sausage is made.
Yep.
Just bananas.
Raw bananas.
Raw bananas over here.
So you can visit us
at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
You did it.
That sounds right.
And you also get a patron dedicated to you
like today's patron.
Digital replica of a person.
That's amazing.
Long enough to put that credit card info in there.
I think we've got an in on the robot uprising.
So well done, guys.
They should probably check out our cyberpunk stuff.
Probably.
Absolutely.
Maybe because they're a digital replica of a person,
they could help get that out.
So yeah.
And then they could listen to it.
All of those things.
No pressure digital replica of a human.
Come on over.
We'll put you to work.
Just looking for a side hustle.
That's right.
Okay.
Thanks for listening.
We hope that you're enjoying the story thus far.
Wherever it is.
We're in the middle of it.
We're in the middle of it right now.
It's happening.
Which makes this the middle of the middle.
Oh my god.
This should be the end of the middle though.
This should be the end of the middle.
Oh yeah.
We're at the end of the middle.
Star wipe and we're out.
Okay.
Love you.
Bye.
Okay.
Discordant note.
Bonwyn, you see these strings that are coming from the monsters to the banjo man
to these pickets that are set up around these instruments that are set up around the space.
The banjo man lets out another one of these that echoes vibrations throughout the entire
space and gives these monsters more power as they are barreling down towards you.
Bizard, it's your turn.
Right in front of you is the jack-in-the-box.
Behind that is the stuffed bear.
Stuffed guardian we'll call them.
The marionettes are swarming out from the trees so they're not on you yet.
But there are dozens of them swarming.
And then the porcelain doll knight was on horseback
coming around from the house which is about 50 feet away.
I forgot there was something on fucking horseback.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
How far away is the banjo man?
He would be on the porch.
So we'll say 50 feet just because that's the number I said.
Okay.
That's how this game works.
That's the one, yeah.
I'm going to point at the banjo man and I'm going to say
all of these machinations here mean nothing without you.
So really you're the source of it.
And really you're not even the source of it, Calder.
You're the source of a deal.
So really whoever's pulling your strings is who we need to find.
But we'll take care of you for now.
And I'm going to disengage and I'm going to be in a blade song
and move 30 feet straight towards him.
And that is my bonus action and action and movement.
Okay, so you are cutting around Jack in the Box
between that and the Stuffed Guardian
making your way towards the house.
Yeah.
Very cool.
Okay, next up is the Jack in the Box and the Stuffed Guardian.
So you've disengaged.
So you are cutting between as the Jack in the Box
is throwing its head back and forth.
You're dodging beneath this giant stuffed animal's legs.
The Jack in the Box is going to attempt a spring-loaded lunge
towards Kavlaran.
Kavlaran, that's going to be a 14 to hit you
as it's waving back and forth.
That will hit.
All right then.
Three.
What kind of damage?
It's probably bludgeoning.
That makes sense.
Oh, three bludgeoning and one psychic damage.
Oh, okay.
Because this is fucked up.
Because this is just 25% of my total health pool.
Nothing, no problem.
No problem.
Just one attack, just 25%, don't worry.
Yeah, no worries.
This Jack in the Box knocks into you
and lets out this roiling laugh.
The Stuffed Guardian is going to turn
and take chase of you, Bizard.
Okay.
That's going to be a 13.
No, sir.
Interesting.
So it's trying to bear hug you.
It's trying to grapple you
and you dodge out of the way
as you continue making your way towards the porch.
Bonwyn, it's your turn.
Fantastic.
So no one has attacked me yet?
No.
And also it doesn't appear
that anybody has seen what you've seen.
Okay, I am going to,
and I'll dash if I need to,
to get to them.
And I have just a,
it's not a martial hammer,
but it is just my work hammer with me
and I'm going to try and smash some shit.
You're going towards the pickets
or the monster?
The pickets.
The pickets, okay.
Yeah.
So yeah, there are five in total
that you can see and they're spread around.
You could dash.
You are close enough to the Jack in the Box
that if you did not disengage
that you would take an opportunity attack.
Okay, great.
Then I guess I will disengage.
I don't want him to attack me.
Okay.
Just want to scoot away
and start hitting things
with my big heavy weapon smash hammer.
To make it to the first one,
I don't think you would need to dash,
but you do lose an action.
Is it a full action to disengage?
Yeah, it's your action.
Okay, well I'm ready.
You could risk the opportunity attack.
Your call.
Or I could risk the opportunity attack.
Bonwyn doesn't know.
I'll risk the opportunity attack
and see what happens.
Bold move, Cotton.
Oh, that's a six.
Oh, it's not going to do it.
It's a six.
So yeah, as you catch it between-
Fortune favors the bold, I run.
Amazing.
Okay, yeah, you can make it to the first one.
So you bolt off to your right.
So right of the group
that you're running towards
one of these swarms of marionettes,
but you can make it to this picket
before they get to you.
Sweet.
I don't have stats for the hammer.
It just says, like,
hammer, good for smashing open treasure chests
is the way it's described.
We could say a D6.
Let's say a D6.
That seems reasonable.
And I guess just damage
because it's not dodging me.
It's an immobile object.
There's nothing around you immediately.
Yeah, I rolled a D8 and got an eight.
So does that mean a six?
I think that's one.
No, two.
Two is what I actually got on the D6.
I'm going to put the D8 away.
It's not for me.
Eight minus six is two.
Rewind a little bit here.
You bolt between this jack in the box
as it's swinging back and forth
and you're running towards this picket.
Kavlaran and Bizarre,
you kind of catch out of the corner of your eye.
Well, Kavlaran, you specifically see
as Bonwyn bolts off to the side.
Bizarre, you see out of the corner of your eye
as you swing down on top of this instrument,
this violin that's coming up and out.
It's white and looks like it's connected
partially to this picket fence.
And you strike it and this discordant note rings.
And as it does, you see this fracture
move through the air and towards the banjo man
who lets out this guttural,
not shriek, guttural yell
as he turns and locks eyes with you, Bonwyn.
Yeah, and I say, good,
because I'm mad that I hit him earlier
and it did nothing, so.
It didn't do nothing, but it did.
I mean, it didn't murder him.
Didn't do much.
He laughed.
So I just, he's trying to eyeball me.
I'm just eyeballing him right back.
Yeah, hammer.
So Bizarre, as you're running,
you see this fracture go towards him
and like see out of the corner of your eye.
Bonwyn go for this picket instrument.
Did it destroy it or is it still there?
It appears to be fractured.
Like how you would smash a violin,
you can't play a violin anymore.
Right.
Exactly.
Right.
Yeah.
Okay.
The devil will not go down to Georgia
with this particular fiddle.
No.
He still might.
I'm sure they've got good repair shops there.
I kind of let out a smirk.
I'm like, very clever, very clever.
Okay, I'm going to continue walking towards him,
but I'll do a spin as part of my blade dance
and I'm going to cast magic missile.
It's not your turn.
Oh, I thought you said it was.
I was just giving you some information.
Oh, I 100% thought you were crazy.
I also was like, okay, great.
I guess the banjo man hasn't had a turn yet,
so that probably needs to happen first.
Is he not turning the entire time?
Oh yeah, that's true.
Banjo man's doing things, don't worry.
Apologies.
Yes, it's not quite your turn yet.
There's a couple of monsters and a Kavlaran to go.
Oh, that's right.
I thought Kavlaran was...
Just providing some insight to the action around.
Sorry, I got excited.
Yeah, no, it was great.
That's good.
Okay, the marionette swarms.
There are two of them.
One of them is coming towards you, Bazaar,
and one of them was like close to you, Bonwyn.
It's going to come down on top of you.
And these do not have the faces of children
that we recognize.
These are just generic.
These are dozens of dangling faceless puppets.
Okay, great.
Controlled by unseen children.
Oh, that's fine then.
No worries.
So much better.
No worries.
Yeah, they come down and I need you to make both of you,
because there are two of them.
One is going to come down on each and top of you.
Make dexterity saving throws, please.
That's a 19.
23.
There we go.
19 and 22.
Remember how I'm a rogue, so I'm dexterous?
Yeah, I'm dancing.
Awesome.
Yeah, you're like mid-dance.
You're ready.
You see these come down and they release,
similarly to Bonwyn particularly,
what you've seen with the strings leading up to
and around the monsters and all that sort of stuff.
You see these ethereal strings come down
and they try and latch onto you.
And Bazaar, do you see this as well?
They're trying to grasp hold of your arms and legs,
but you manage to maneuver out of the way
as they kind of swarm above your head.
The sound of hooves cuts across the lawn
and is charging towards you, Kvlarin,
as this porcelain doll on rocking horseback
draws a blade and swings down at you for a...
That's a 15.
Oh, that'll hit.
Yeah, baby.
So that's another five slashing damage.
Buddy.
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
That's great.
I feel a little rough.
Do I have a healing kit or anything from a friend?
So Kvlarin, it's now your turn.
The jack in the box is right in front of you.
This horse has run past you.
The rider has swiped down at you.
It is going to continue to run past you.
It hasn't stopped.
So I'll give you an opportunity attack as it moves past you.
Okay, I'll take it.
That's just straight up damage
or do I have to roll the hit as well?
You'd have to roll the hit still.
Okay, I can do those things.
That's a 19 to hit.
Nice, 19 will hit.
Yeah, and give me some damage.
All right, and I'm going to treat this
as like a two-handed swing.
Of course you are.
Because if I'm taking all these hits,
I probably didn't have my shield out.
That'll be eight damage.
Okay, oh, good hit.
Yeah, take the horse's legs out from it.
Yeah.
Eight horse damage.
Amazing.
So sorry, you're hitting the horse or the rider?
Let's do the horse.
Horse?
Yeah.
Take its legs out.
Brute.
The rider swings down with his blade
as you are coming around swinging at the legs
that splinter out from underneath it.
There's this another discordant note that rings out
and you see this like this fitsing energy
that comes out from the horse
and like moves itself up to the rider
who is knocked to the ground.
He's prone and he's struggling to try
and get back up now as your full turn starts.
All right, but this jack-in-the-box
is still next to me, right?
Sure is, yeah.
So you've got the prone rider and the jack-in-the-box.
All right, I'm going to take a swing
at the jack-in-the-box.
Okay.
That is a nat 20.
Yeah!
Nice.
More like jackass in a box.
More like hand him his ass in a box.
Is that anything?
I like it.
I like all of it.
It is now.
Keep him coming.
That is 13 bludgeoning damage.
Hell yeah!
Good one!
Just like wailing on this thing.
Who's laughing now?
It's a real shame though when you hit it far away
it comes back with the increased speed.
Yeah, you swing and I mean I like that
but you swing through and you like hit its face
as it's going down and like knocks into the ground
and sticks for a second.
As the hammer continues and fractures the box
there's the same energy that rings through
in this note that echoes through your ears.
Still laughing, still appears to be
alive.
Jovial.
Still having a great time.
Just happy to be here.
Yeah, happy to have a great time.
Anything else you can do?
That's probably all I can do right now
but I'll take a quick peek at any like bonus actions
or anything.
Anything fun?
No, I don't have the thing up that I
would have a bonus action for so that's it.
Okay, the banjo man looks around
and you see him like start he begins to tune the banjo
like he's trying to correct something
and Bizarre you'd be most focused on it
Bonwyn you were focused on the picket and the swarm.
As he tunes like there is this shot of energy
that begins to unravel and move back out
and towards the picket that Bonwyn destroyed.
So it's trying to make its way there
it hasn't on this turn and now it's your turn.
Okay. Okay, so kind of repaired that picket
and there's five in total.
There are five in total.
He has not yet repaired that picket
but it appears that he is trying to
from what you can determine.
Cool, cool, cool, cool.
Well, yeah, I'm gonna just kind of give like
a knowing smirk and say that's the game.
Okay, fair enough.
I'm gonna turn and I'm gonna cast magic missile
at a second level and I'm gonna use one dart
for each of the other four that have not been struck.
So those will all do 1d4 plus one damage to them
which is a total of two force damage.
Two force damage each, okay.
But on each one he can't send out repair structures
to all of them.
On each one.
So everybody sees his Bizarre
and lets out these magic missiles that fly out
and towards all these other pickets
and they hit with this, lets out this echoing chord
at this point.
Like each one sets off its own note
and it's like the final chord of the lullaby
and it shoots all of these energy threads
back up and towards the banjo man
and then you see the energy
kind of pull in from him away from the monsters.
The monsters let out this discordant note as well
and they all crumble before you
as all of these pickets simultaneously explode
around the perimeter.
And we hear my dog has fleas.
The toys they shudder and collapse.
They turn back into lifeless wood or stuffing or fabric
and the banjo man up on the porch growls in irritation
but still smirks and he turns away from the group
as everything falls back to the ground.
The Marionettes landing on the ground around you.
Bonwyn and Bizard, the Jack in the Box
releasing itself from the ground
and then just helplessly floundering back and forth.
He turns and he opens the door to the house
that he's in front of and takes a few steps inside
leaving the door open behind him.
From your view he disappears into shadow.
Upstairs, Alydin, you hear the front door open
you hear footsteps come inside
they're different from the footsteps you've heard before.
Down at the end of the bed though
as you see the two figures standing watching over you
as this droning note lulls you into this weakened state.
Dumbgeons and Dragons Season 4 Episode 20
starring Amy More as Alydin
Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane
Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave
Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard
and Russ More as your dungeon master.
Dialogue editing and sound design of today's episode is by Russ More.
Our community manager is Jessica Babyuk.
Music is from Epidemic Sound
and sound effects are from Epidemic Sound and Boom Library.
Our amazing cover art is by Matt Garbut
and we'd like to say a huge thank you to our supporting producers
including Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyuk.
Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
Angaron Kiersen, Perry Matey,
Old School Gamer D, Craig Zeiss and L.A. Branton.
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Sassy the Banjo Man, we ain't losing anything.
We're just keeping it going.
That's right.
Sass the Banjo Man to death.
Chop up that wine.
Let's go.
I'm taking nighttime cold meds.
Let's do this.
We're on the clock now, baby.
That's okay.
You're sleeping.
So it's fine.
No, because we need her help.
Well, you need her help.
She's not there though.
I know.
You never know.
You need my help?
Well, probably.
Always.
You also probably have 16 or 17 hit points to throw around.
She's got 18.
I have 18.
You're such a robust child.
Well, kids bounce.
Yeah, that's true.
Kids bounce.
Yeah, Bonwyn don't bounce no more.
Bonwyn don't bounce.
No.
Bonwyn.
Bonwyn middle-aged woman.
Yeah.
Bonwyn's kind of always thudded, I think.
Bonwyn's solid.
Bonwyn's too old for this shit, okay?
Yeah.
Bonwyn's just two weeks from her time.
Hope I can use my magics to help me fuck this chair.
Help you do what?
Help you fuck this chair is what she said.
Yep.
That's uh.
I used my knee and just slowly.
This is not what Bazaar has taught you at magic school.
Oh my word.
What did you learn while I was gone?
Like maybe my magics didn't help me out.
Billy Magic showed up and showed me things, man.
No, oh my god.
I gave it one of a bitch.
Billy Magics does sound pervy.
Absolutely.
Oh he is.
I went to school with the fucker.
I just keep writing down notes about all the things Kyle says Billy Magics was.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.