[0.0s] Hey, friend. So glad to have you. Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin in just a moment.
[7.0s] Bizard, you are running your hand along the stage and you feel an inscription of sorts.
[17.4s] You direct your attention away from the children and down to this and you see
[22.2s] symbols similar to the ones that you saw along the path. But even more so,
[31.4s] like there is a hint of recognition that comes to you from your schooling.
[38.0s] You run your hand along this one and then you notice that there are several more along the
[42.6s] stage. If you can roll arcana or history. I believe it will be arcana.
[52.2s] Oh, that's a natural one. I'm really fucking up in the magic area today.
[59.4s] Everyone's very confused.
[61.3s] These are really difficult to read. I'm having a hard time. So I'm going to take a bottle of
[66.6s] ink and I'm going to pour it in to fill in the worn out sigils and runes so that they're
[73.0s] clearer and easier to read.
[74.7s] I like that. I like that. Yeah. Do that. And Bonwyn and Cav, you
[81.7s] see Bizard do this, like pouring ink onto the stage and like pulling out a scrap of
[88.3s] parchment. So that brings your attention over there as well. And you see that he's pouring
[93.1s] it into these symbols along the stage. Allow you to now that everybody's kind of crowded
[101.7s] around looking, allow you to roll again with this new version of the same symbol.
[109.1s] Thank you, Ross. And what are we rolling?
[113.5s] Arcana or history.
[115.0s] Yeah. Could I also roll? Like I would have done, you know, like research into
[121.0s] even not understanding it, but just for like artistic flourishes on things, you know?
[125.3s] Sure. 13.
[127.8s] 13.
[131.6s] I got a 25 this time.
[133.0s] Oh, that's so much better. Thank God for Bizard.
[137.8s] The ink has brought it all together. So you do that and you're flipping this over
[143.8s] and the two of you, Bonwyn and Cav, are looking at them like,
[149.0s] yeah, we know what this is. You don't know what this is.
[152.3s] The first one, you pick up the symbol and on the paper, it immediately comes to you.
[158.8s] The symbol represents a movement. Maybe it's a class that, you know, you said the dance
[164.2s] wasn't a particularly strong one, but maybe it's one you kind of like nodded off through
[169.0s] and didn't quite pay attention. But this movement is says or is interpreted as
[175.8s] step forward. With that context, you look at the next few. The next one says spin.
[184.3s] The next one says bow. The fourth one says clap.
[191.0s] However, one section as you're looking between these, one section of the dance
[197.0s] floor is slightly cracked and you go over and make an investigation roll at that.
[206.8s] Twelve.
[208.0s] You pick away at this crack in there and it reveals another inscription hidden beneath
[214.9s] and the inscription says only the banjo man may end the song.
[223.5s] So are these kids doing this step forward, spin, bow, clap move?
[226.9s] They are doing step forward, spin, bow, clap and then they are stumbling over the final step.
[236.8s] Gotcha.
[240.1s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast and I'm your dungeon master,
[244.9s] Russ More, he, him. Also with me today is Amy More as Alydin, she, her.
[249.8s] I grab it and I pull him over me and I flip him over.
[253.1s] Carla Maxstead as Bonwyn Everbane, she, her.
[256.1s] We're very weak. We don't know anything.
[258.8s] Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, he, him.
[261.6s] Which unfortunately is actually radiant damage, but that's all right.
[264.9s] And Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard, he, him.
[268.1s] Sorry, I've never fucked up this bad at dancing, y'all.
[270.5s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast and it wouldn't be around if it
[275.2s] wasn't for fine patrons just like you. Well, you can sign up today at patreon.com
[280.8s] slash dumb dragon cast, get a seven-day free trial and access to a whole bunch
[285.0s] of additional adventures that are ready and waiting for you.
[288.6s] And now, fuck it, let's play.
[294.9s] While you think on that, we're going to cut back to your room, Alydin.
[300.6s] You're staring at yourself in the mirror with this music box that you've released,
[306.7s] released the mechanism on.
[308.7s] The mechanism, when you turned it backwards,
[311.7s] it distorted into an eerie whisper that repeated the phrase,
[315.4s] not real, not real, not real, not real.
[319.8s] You've released it and the song continues forward again.
[324.9s] Well, I'm done with this.
[333.5s] So, Alydin is going to strip the bed,
[341.0s] tie the sheets into knots, carefully open the window
[346.8s] and throw out the music box.
[355.5s] Fuck that thing.
[358.6s] Fucking things going first and throw out the makeshift rope.
[365.4s] Tied it to like the bed frame or something like that.
[371.6s] But I don't go down it.
[373.6s] Um, you said that there was a closet.
[377.6s] I said there was a dresser.
[378.9s] A dresser.
[380.2s] I go under the bed.
[383.0s] Okay.
[384.2s] Um, and then I get out from under the bed
[387.0s] and realize I have to make a big noise.
[389.7s] Or you'll just be waiting by yourself in a dark space.
[394.5s] And now I'm just under the bed and it's cold because I've opened the window.
[399.7s] Um, I'm gonna, I need it to be, I need it,
[405.2s] I need to make them think that I really went out there.
[409.0s] Alydin throws her bucket out the window
[415.2s] and make sure that it hits the roof.
[420.0s] Like it doesn't clear it.
[423.0s] It's in the middle of the field.
[425.0s] Uncle Rico's that bucket over those mountains.
[429.8s] And then I quickly hide under the bed.
[433.8s] You throw the bucket and it goes over the edge of the roof
[438.2s] and you hear it hit, um, like a, a porch post or a banister
[444.3s] or something down below.
[445.8s] Like you hear it strike wood, um, and clatter the contents of,
[451.8s] inside the bucket rattle together.
[454.3s] You hear like the sheet pulling against the window frame.
[460.3s] The conversation you hear silenced downstairs, like it stops.
[466.9s] And then you hear some slow footsteps
[470.8s] move towards where the sound came to the front door.
[475.0s] You hear as the door opens and a few steps out onto the porch.
[479.6s] I, I, I'm, I'm waiting because I only heard one set of footsteps.
[489.3s] There are two creepy not parents in this house
[493.6s] and I'm hoping they both go look for me.
[495.4s] You hear this, this, this storm door close at the front
[500.3s] and a few steps, uh, muffled steps out on the front porch.
[506.8s] Um, and then you hear the heels again.
[509.8s] Of your mother and they're coming up the stairs.
[515.7s] They come up the stairs and round the, the mid landing
[520.6s] and come up again and you hear slow footsteps
[524.4s] and a, and a soft voice that calls out.
[532.9s] I do not respond.
[534.6s] I'm holding my breath.
[536.8s] I'm out that window.
[538.8s] Roll stealth.
[541.8s] How about a 19?
[544.6s] Yeah, you did.
[546.6s] You hear the, the handle on the door turn
[550.2s] and then light creek of the hinges and a few steps come in.
[556.5s] The woman pauses in the room and she calls out again.
[560.5s] Alydin, are you playing hide and seek?
[564.3s] She slowly walks over to the window.
[567.8s] She pokes her head out the window.
[581.5s] Sorry, a lot of visual comedy going on right now.
[584.6s] Kyle's just miming what I'm thinking and just like,
[589.0s] I just push her out the window, but I don't think,
[592.6s] like they haven't actually done anything to hurt me.
[595.3s] It's just weird and so I don't think I'm ready to murder a person.
[605.5s] Strong urge for defenestration.
[608.7s] Roll for self-control.
[611.1s] No, I just, I stay hidden.
[613.8s] Woman's still looking out the window.
[617.5s] You can't see her.
[618.5s] You can see her feet.
[620.2s] You're tucked as far to the wall as you can.
[623.2s] You can see her feet.
[624.2s] She's standing by the window and she's there for what is a good long moment.
[631.3s] And then from outside, you hear this low warping note
[637.3s] that feels like it's being carried on the wind.
[642.8s] Then the woman pulls her head back inside and pulls the sheet back up.
[648.4s] You hear your bucket kind of clanging as it's being dragged up and over.
[654.3s] And then she pulls it back in and then closes the window.
[659.8s] Says, Alydin, when you're done playing your game, come down for dinner, okay?
[663.8s] And she walks back out your room, back downstairs,
[669.0s] and you hear the door open downstairs.
[671.9s] The man come back in.
[676.4s] Damn it.
[684.2s] Ugh.
[693.1s] As you hear the door latch shut and the footsteps begin to move back downstairs,
[698.4s] you hear the clattering of plates being set around a table.
[702.2s] Again?
[703.0s] Again, the low conversation starts back up.
[708.3s] You can't make it out.
[711.5s] Okay, that didn't work.
[713.4s] Um, Alydin is gonna play along.
[718.4s] She goes into her dresser.
[720.3s] She finds clothes.
[721.8s] She changes into whatever pretty dress is in there.
[726.4s] Very out of character.
[729.8s] And she opens her door and skips downstairs.
[735.3s] What's for dinner?
[737.2s] Back up a little bit.
[738.7s] You open your door with your dress on,
[741.7s] and you immediately hear the conversation downstairs stop.
[747.7s] You walk downstairs and enter into the dining room area
[753.0s] where there's another meal set.
[756.1s] You don't know how long, like this is going back to like your hands, right?
[761.9s] Like you don't know how long you've been here.
[763.9s] Is this meal the same meal that was here when you got to this place?
[768.3s] Or have you been here for a long time?
[770.0s] You don't know.
[770.8s] Do I feel hungry?
[772.7s] I'm an orphan.
[773.8s] I'm always hungry.
[774.7s] You're an orphan.
[775.1s] You're always hungry.
[777.8s] On the table, there is a roast in the center.
[783.9s] There's some potatoes.
[785.4s] And at each of the place settings, there is a bowl of soup.
[790.4s] You sit down at the table and you see all of this wonderful meal.
[796.1s] And your mother reaches over and says,
[797.8s] I'm sorry we didn't find you in your game and hands you this basket of rolls.
[803.2s] Oh, that's okay.
[807.8s] I was just fooling around.
[809.8s] You know, I'm such a good hider.
[812.0s] Oh, of course.
[812.8s] You play those games so, so well.
[815.0s] And she passes the roll down to your father.
[818.0s] And you look down into the soup.
[822.4s] I guess first, do you go to eat anything?
[829.6s] Play our knowledge because Amy isn't tired.
[832.6s] It's so tough.
[834.8s] I ate the first time, didn't I?
[837.1s] I believe so.
[839.0s] I think you did.
[840.5s] I think you ate at least something.
[843.7s] It was a meal.
[845.4s] You've been gone for who knows how long.
[847.8s] I'm a starving orphan.
[848.8s] I ate.
[849.4s] Yeah, I remember you ate quite well.
[852.2s] If they were going to poison me, they probably would have already poisoned me.
[855.5s] But I'm going to kind of like pick at my roll and drop the pieces of bread into the soup.
[860.2s] Because I like a mushy because I'm a fucking animal.
[863.8s] Sure.
[864.2s] Yeah, you tear apart the roll and you drop it in.
[867.1s] I mean, you're just used to like day olds that you get your hands on.
[870.9s] So it needs it.
[873.0s] You drop the pieces into the soup and like there's pleasant
[877.2s] nothing conversation happening between your parents.
[881.0s] Um, you drop the pieces into the soup and that bowl of soup
[884.5s] begins reflecting a distorted version of your face.
[892.6s] The surface as the soup begins to settle at the bottom begins to clear.
[899.1s] And it begins showing a memory that is like rushes back to you.
[905.8s] It shows you at the orphanage where you had grown up for the majority of your child life.
[915.1s] And then as this memory comes flooding back to you, the image in the soup is gone.
[925.3s] You're broken from that moment as the father figure who you pictured right beside you
[934.0s] is now standing, like standing over you and he's put a hand on your shoulder.
[940.6s] He says, is everything all right, Alydin?
[943.5s] Yeah, dad, every everything's fine.
[947.9s] And as he puts his hand on your shoulder and you look up at him,
[951.6s] I grab it and I pull him over me and I flip him over.
[955.0s] No, I'm just kidding.
[957.8s] Sorry, go on.
[958.7s] As he put his face in the soup and drowns in the soup.
[963.1s] I just hold it in there.
[965.1s] I'm gonna waterboard my mom with the soup.
[967.7s] I'm gonna get all kinds of weird, I'm on cold meds.
[971.8s] Things are getting weird.
[976.2s] As he puts his hand on your shoulder and asks you that question, you turn and look up at him.
[982.9s] You begin to feel a weakening in your body, strength leaving your body.
[991.8s] And he looks down at you and says, okay, that's okay.
[994.0s] You just eat up, eat up, okay?
[995.8s] And he goes back and sits down at the table and he himself begins
[1000.6s] slurping on the soup and eating the roll.
[1003.8s] You feel lightheaded and woozy.
[1007.5s] I don't fucking touch the soup, but I eat the, I eat the roll.
[1013.2s] What's left of the roll in my hand.
[1015.7s] You begin to put the roll in your mouth and you're looking between
[1019.9s] the parents.
[1021.5s] They're looking at you and smiling.
[1027.4s] And we'll cut back to the stage.
[1034.6s] So much more than what we got done.
[1035.2s] Welcome to The Middle, everybody.
[1036.7s] The Middle.
[1037.5s] Hey there, so glad to be here.
[1041.0s] We just got out of our recording of The Adventures Of,
[1043.4s] which you can now join us and watch from the backstage over on Patreon.
[1049.2s] And while you're talking about all the great experience that everybody's having with that,
[1053.5s] I'm going to go and do the thing that I should have done a while ago.
[1057.3s] Oh yeah, we know what you're talking about.
[1059.6s] You know what though?
[1060.6s] This was kind of like our trial time of doing this live record with our backstage.
[1067.1s] We got two backstage beauties.
[1070.4s] And maybe they can let us know how it went.
[1074.0s] I can't put a heart.
[1075.8s] Less than three.
[1078.2s] Wow, that's harsh.
[1082.0s] Oh no, the alligator ate the three.
[1084.0s] That's all I'm going to think about now every time I see that, Kyle.
[1089.7s] But if you want to hang out and do the backstage thing while we play live,
[1093.8s] you can go to patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[1097.4s] Anyone on the supporting producers tier and up is welcome to join us.
[1101.9s] Kat says much fun.
[1103.8s] Very wow.
[1105.2s] Very well.
[1105.9s] That's a ringing endorsement.
[1107.8s] Yeah, get that gook hang too.
[1110.4s] But also if you join us on Patreon, you get an episode dedicated to you.
[1117.7s] Yeah, you sure do.
[1119.3s] Like today's patron.
[1124.2s] Who is the amazing, wonderful, fantastic, stupendous, intelligent.
[1134.4s] I got to keep track of this better.
[1136.3s] Jason Quinn.
[1141.2s] Thank you so much.
[1143.0s] And I mean all those things that I said.
[1144.6s] All those things are true.
[1146.3s] Also, I think you look great in jeans.
[1149.0s] They really work for you.
[1150.3s] Way to go, Jason.
[1151.4s] Thanks for being here.
[1152.2s] Way to do it.
[1152.7s] Thanks, Jason.
[1153.4s] And thanks everybody for joining us tonight in The Adventures Of,
[1157.0s] which you can go listen to over on Patreon too.
[1159.7s] You don't just have to join us for the record,
[1161.0s] but there's six seasons of amazing, super fun stuff
[1165.0s] where we're now realizing that we do secretly love us.
[1170.6s] That's what we're realizing.
[1172.6s] It's been my long con to make us the ultimate big bad in the end.
[1176.2s] Oh god.
[1177.4s] Nah, we're fine.
[1178.6s] Yeah, you guys are all right.
[1180.5s] That's right.
[1181.1s] Thank you all for being here.
[1182.6s] We'll get you back to the episode.
[1183.8s] We love you so much.
[1185.7s] K, love you.
[1186.4s] Bye.
[1186.8s] Love you.
[1187.3s] Bye.
[1191.0s] I'm going to turn to Bono and Cavan and be like,
[1201.7s] okay, so he obviously didn't teach these kids the final move.
[1206.9s] And these kids don't understand, they learned the steps,
[1210.2s] but they don't understand why they're doing the steps.
[1212.5s] And, you know, music and dance correlated with each other rhythmically.
[1217.4s] And in the song that brought all these kids here,
[1220.1s] says with music suite, your steps he'll guide.
[1222.6s] So hopefully following the rhythmic pulse of the music
[1226.8s] and filling in the steps, that's literally all I've got.
[1231.8s] Okay.
[1232.3s] Okay, let's do it.
[1234.7s] So I'm going to hop on stage and I'm going to try to create my own move
[1240.0s] that fills in with the rhythm where these kids keep messing up.
[1243.1s] Okay.
[1245.1s] You get up on stage and you step into formation with these children.
[1250.6s] Mm-hmm.
[1251.7s] Are all three of you doing it or are you just letting Bazaar handle this?
[1255.4s] I feel like I'm going to see what he's doing.
[1257.7s] Yeah, I want to see the move and then I'll.
[1260.7s] See what the vibe is.
[1261.6s] Are we all going to like freestyle our own move?
[1263.9s] Are we all going to try?
[1265.2s] Right?
[1267.0s] Okay, get up and you get into position.
[1270.7s] You begin the steps that you've watched them.
[1272.6s] There's four steps.
[1274.2s] You've picked those up.
[1276.0s] And then roll me either a performance or dexterity.
[1280.2s] Oh, performance, definitely.
[1282.6s] Okay, guys, go fuck yourself.
[1284.2s] That's a nine.
[1286.9s] Was uneven.
[1287.8s] I mean, you trip.
[1288.9s] I don't know.
[1290.5s] Yeah.
[1291.5s] So slippery from all that ink.
[1294.2s] Damn it.
[1294.9s] You get up on stage and you do the four moves and then you attempt a fifth move.
[1301.0s] You whatever you do causes you to stumble along with the children.
[1309.7s] And then Bonwyn and Cav, you hear this now, too.
[1317.2s] Bonwyn, you hear the creaking coming from the surrounding forest again.
[1324.7s] Bazaar as you're trying to find a new step.
[1328.8s] You keep attempting this and the correlation clicks
[1333.8s] for the two of you off the stage as you're watching him.
[1337.2s] The more bizarre tries and fails, the louder this sound gets.
[1346.9s] And as you look back to him and Cav, you're looking over at Bonwyn.
[1352.3s] You see like a parting, a bending of the trees as this
[1360.4s] nightmarish creature resembling a twisted marionette of roots and broken instruments,
[1369.6s] its limbs held aloft by invisible strings, and it begins moving out of the forest.
[1376.3s] And all three of you look over now as its joints creak like old wood
[1381.2s] and its hollow chest cavity thrums with the haunting echoes
[1385.7s] of the banjo music that you've been hearing.
[1390.4s] As horror steps into the clearing and is making its way over to the stage.
[1399.3s] I'm gonna get you to roll for initiative.
[1403.3s] Sorry, I've never fucked up this bad at dancing, y'all.
[1407.4s] Even on his worst day.
[1410.0s] And these dice can go away for tonight.
[1412.1s] Yeah, my dice are sucking.
[1414.3s] 14.
[1420.8s] Four.
[1421.9s] Oh, jeez, guys.
[1423.8s] Wow.
[1425.5s] Why don't these guys do puzzles?
[1427.3s] I don't know.
[1427.7s] I'm switching from green to orange.
[1430.4s] Bonwyn, you're going to be up first.
[1431.8s] So the two, Bonwyn and Cavalarin, you are off the stage.
[1436.1s] Bizarre, you are still on the stage.
[1437.9s] You can see all three of you have seen this creature making its way towards you.
[1442.8s] It's not moving quickly, but it is moving directly towards you.
[1447.9s] And like the roots and its limbs seem like they can extend
[1457.0s] and like the vines from trees are wrapping around itself.
[1461.8s] Like this entire thing, like its face looks like a, well, I mean,
[1468.2s] kind of like an ant from Lord of the Rings, but much more marionette.
[1474.5s] Like there's a movement to the jaw that's happening.
[1477.9s] Great.
[1479.9s] I am going to like pull up my flint and steel and light an arrow on fire
[1488.4s] and try and shoot it, because wood.
[1490.9s] Burn it up.
[1491.4s] All right.
[1493.2s] Also, I have no weapon.
[1496.8s] Bonwyn, no fight.
[1499.1s] Bonwyn, no do anything good.
[1500.4s] Level two.
[1501.4s] Okay, but let's see.
[1506.5s] Oh, 19.
[1507.8s] Nice.
[1508.3s] 19 will hit.
[1509.4s] Yes, yes, it will.
[1511.5s] Excellent.
[1513.4s] So that's five damage.
[1516.4s] I don't know if you want to like gimme a little something because of the fire.
[1519.8s] You want to roll a d6 worth of fire damage.
[1526.9s] Okay, that's a three for fire damage.
[1531.4s] And then because I hit, I can sneak attack it, I think.
[1537.9s] Yep.
[1540.2s] So that's an extra five damage.
[1543.4s] There are some real dry roots right in like the lung area.
[1547.0s] Yeah.
[1548.1s] Yes.
[1549.3s] I don't want to think of it as an end because I love the ends.
[1552.5s] Yeah, no, this is.
[1553.5s] But as some other creepy treat.
[1555.6s] Yeah.
[1557.8s] Call it a waltzing horror if you want to.
[1560.3s] It's not an end.
[1561.2s] Oh, cool.
[1563.5s] Yeah, your arrow looses and sticks into the chest of this and you hear like this
[1570.9s] discordant like string snapping as it strikes in and lets out this low droning note that
[1578.9s] echoes out over all of you.
[1581.5s] You see where the arrow hits, like the flame is still a light.
[1587.4s] It doesn't appear that it's completely caught on all of the tree yet,
[1592.0s] but it is still a light and stuck into them.
[1595.4s] Do the children, like I'm going to look behind me, like are they, what are they doing?
[1599.4s] They continue the dance.
[1601.6s] Oh, OK.
[1604.5s] It is this creature's turn and he lets out this low note and then begin and then continues
[1614.0s] to move towards you.
[1616.2s] He's going to, you know, you who's just tried to hit him Bonwyn or just hit him Bonwyn,
[1624.4s] you, he's going to reach out with his hand and coming out of his hand are not only vines,
[1632.3s] but these very thin strings of an instrument.
[1637.2s] He's going to try to ensnare you with this so you can make a strength saving throw
[1646.0s] to try to avoid this.
[1649.8s] Oh, 19.
[1650.6s] 19, all right.
[1651.8s] I am a hearty dwarf.
[1653.3s] It reaches out for you and you feel these things trying to wrap themselves around your
[1658.3s] hands and your feet.
[1660.1s] You manage to pull yourself free and it releases itself and it takes another few
[1667.4s] steps towards you and Cav.
[1670.0s] Bizarre, you're still up on the stage.
[1672.5s] The children continue to dance.
[1675.3s] This creature has come out of the forest and is now attacking Bonwyn down off the stage.
[1681.0s] There's an arrow that's a light in its main body as well.
[1685.4s] You said that plank that says the banjo man can only end the song is broken already.
[1691.0s] Yes, I did, banjo man.
[1695.3s] The floor was slightly cracked and you pulled away at it which revealed a hidden
[1701.4s] inscription beneath.
[1702.4s] I'm going to try to break the whole idea of like what I know to be incantations or spells
[1707.4s] and I'm going to try to rip the entire board out just to remove that part.
[1711.0s] Of the equation.
[1713.4s] Make a strength check.
[1715.4s] That's a 14.
[1717.4s] You break away from the group of children as they stumble on that last step and run over
[1723.4s] to the board itself and you're pulling at it and the nails are prying themselves free
[1729.3s] and as you're doing that, the creature before you, you've gotten quite close to it now.
[1735.3s] The creature turns and acknowledges you as you do manage to pull this board up and out.
[1741.8s] It splinters and breaks but yeah, you've pulled the majority of it away.
[1746.1s] There are a few little pieces closer to the nails.
[1750.2s] I'm going to take the inscribed part that I ripped off and just throw it off
[1754.2s] away from the stage.
[1756.9s] I assume that'll be my action.
[1759.3s] I'm going to go ahead and pull out my scimitar and start up a blade song.
[1763.1s] Just the humming of my scimitar as it spins,
[1766.7s] creating its own little music to counter the music going on.
[1769.1s] Amazing.
[1770.0s] Okay.
[1771.0s] And I'll move up to Bonwyn and Cav and be in the thick of it with them.
[1775.8s] Got it.
[1777.1s] That brings us to Cav.
[1778.6s] All right.
[1781.3s] Cav is going to have his war hammer drawn and rush forward and take a swing at this
[1790.2s] horrible tree banjo monster.
[1791.8s] Okay.
[1793.0s] Unless it's a terrible idea but we're doing it anyway.
[1795.8s] Got to do it.
[1796.7s] We got to do something, right?
[1798.3s] Yep.
[1798.6s] All right.
[1799.1s] That is a 19 to hit.
[1802.2s] Oh yeah.
[1802.9s] 19 is going to hit.
[1803.8s] Switching to the orange dice is paying off, Joe.
[1805.8s] Drop that bitch down.
[1806.6s] Excellent.
[1807.7s] And that is seven points of crushing damage, bludgeoning damage.
[1811.9s] I'm over here so jealous.
[1814.0s] I'm fighting some sort of stupid mind problem and you guys get to punch and hit stuff.
[1821.4s] Absolutely.
[1822.6s] You crack into like the leg of this creature and you hear.
[1827.5s] Similarly, you hear like as if you took your hammer to like the back of a guitar.
[1833.3s] Like that's the sound that comes out of it and then the splintering wood
[1836.8s] follows quickly after that.
[1839.3s] It lets out this thunderous scream for lack of a better term as you do that.
[1849.4s] Okay.
[1849.7s] Anything else you can or would like to do?
[1853.6s] I could probably do more but I'm going to leave it there.
[1857.4s] Okay.
[1858.8s] Look, after you've torn up the board, the children continue to stumble on that last step
[1863.4s] but now that you've removed that board from the stage, you turn and you look
[1869.3s] and the children continue to stumble for a few more paces but then they start to correct
[1876.4s] themselves as the music continues.
[1879.3s] However, instead of stumbling, they hit that beat in the music and they freeze
[1887.9s] and then they continue on with the dance.
[1890.6s] So the pattern has changed but there's still a beat in the music that's missing.
[1896.6s] Bonwyn.
[1897.7s] Drop that beat.
[1901.2s] I guess.
[1902.6s] Well, it's all up on me now.
[1905.1s] Yes, yeah.
[1906.2s] The three of you are basically right up on it.
[1909.4s] Yeah.
[1910.6s] Okay, then I'm going to switch to my short sword better.
[1918.6s] Oh my god.
[1919.8s] And close range and that is a now one.
[1924.3s] That's gross.
[1925.8s] Going out the way.
[1927.4s] No, I'm just kidding.
[1928.2s] But it's going away.
[1929.8s] There's a way in the bucket.
[1931.9s] That's right.
[1932.6s] You try and swing out with your short sword and it ends up getting wrapped up in the vines
[1943.8s] and branches of one of its arms and because it's a now one, you feel the same pressure
[1953.5s] around your wrists that you felt when it first tried to attack you but this time it latches
[1958.6s] on.
[1959.4s] So along one of your wrists and one of your legs, you feel these strings now attached to
[1967.4s] you.
[1967.6s] So you are grappled for all intents and purposes but you still have, is Bonwyn left
[1973.8s] or right handed?
[1975.1s] Oh, I don't know.
[1976.1s] I guess right.
[1976.9s] I had not said.
[1977.9s] So your right hand and right leg are both bound.
[1980.9s] You still have your left.
[1982.6s] Anything else you would like to do?
[1985.0s] I don't think there is anything else I can do.
[1986.8s] You are grappled and you begin to feel an urge to move like this.
[1996.2s] You now feel the strings pulling up on that side of your body and it's going to try and
[2002.2s] grab the other side.
[2004.4s] You can make a strength saving throw to save yourself from this.
[2010.6s] 17.
[2011.9s] So it tries to latch onto the other side.
[2014.8s] Your right side, however, starts to dance uncontrollably, which is throwing you off
[2021.3s] bAlydince.
[2021.8s] So it's puppet mastering you.
[2023.3s] It's trying to puppet master you.
[2029.2s] Now that it's up close to everybody, it's going to swing down at you, Bazaard,
[2033.8s] and try and strike you.
[2035.1s] That's going to be a 15 to hit.
[2039.7s] No, sir.
[2040.3s] Okay.
[2041.0s] It swings down and it hits the ground beside you and you hear this thunderous echo
[2046.3s] throughout this space.
[2049.2s] Ground is turned up underneath you.
[2052.6s] Like you could tell, if this thing had hit you, it would have knocked the wind
[2056.6s] out of you pretty hard.
[2058.7s] Which after that happens, his arm is crushed into the ground and you see
[2065.1s] Bonwyn trying to fight off half of what's happening.
[2069.5s] It's your turn now.
[2071.4s] This is very dangerous and we need to move quickly.
[2073.9s] So I'm going to use my action to cast haste on myself, giving myself a
[2080.3s] secondary action, which I'm going to use that to attack the vines that
[2084.1s] are holding Bonwyn.
[2085.9s] So I'm going to make attack against each vine, if that's possible, or
[2090.1s] against the creature, however it works out.
[2091.8s] Yeah, I think based on proximity, you could slice down through both of
[2097.3s] them.
[2098.1s] As long as you hit, you should be good.
[2100.5s] That's a 17 on the first attack and a 16 on the second.
[2104.6s] Both of those will hit.
[2106.3s] All right.
[2106.9s] 1d6 plus 2.
[2109.4s] That is 8 damage on the first attack and 6 damage on the second.
[2114.7s] Good hit.
[2116.3s] Same echoing string breaks happen in Bonwyn.
[2119.9s] You quickly find yourself released and free from the need to move as the
[2128.4s] way you were, but because your bAlydince was thrown off, you're now prone
[2132.7s] at the foot of this monster.
[2134.5s] Makes sense.
[2135.6s] Kavlaran.
[2137.0s] There's a lot going on.
[2138.1s] There's a lot of things happening.
[2139.4s] Yeah, a lot going on.
[2141.3s] All right.
[2141.7s] And if I remember correctly, Russ, our characters don't really know
[2145.0s] shit yet.
[2147.1s] Yeah.
[2147.9s] We're very weak.
[2149.0s] We don't know anything.
[2150.7s] It's an accurate description of our characters.
[2153.0s] Yeah.
[2154.4s] Fair.
[2154.7s] We don't know shit.
[2155.8s] Yeah.
[2159.0s] Is there shit in particular that you were hoping to know?
[2161.8s] No, just knowing, just reminding myself that he doesn't really know
[2168.2s] the things that he could do with his class if given the training.
[2173.0s] Yeah, I mean, you've been in battle already, so you did pull some of your
[2179.4s] abilities out.
[2180.4s] Like, I think you used, what did you use?
[2184.7s] Did you use a spectral weapon or do you have a spectral weapon?
[2188.5s] I don't have a spectral weapon.
[2190.2s] You did something because you saw Christina's character.
[2195.5s] Maybe like a sacred flame?
[2197.5s] Yeah, maybe a sacred flame.
[2199.4s] Yeah.
[2200.2s] Flame would be great in this situation.
[2201.7s] Yeah, but you did pull some pAlydin or, yeah, some cleric type feature out
[2209.0s] that we didn't really get into.
[2210.6s] But yeah, it was after she had done hers and then you did yours.
[2214.4s] Yeah, I'm going to, I'm assuming it would have been like spectral flame.
[2220.0s] Yeah.
[2220.2s] That makes sense to me.
[2221.3s] Now that you say that, I think that's what it was.
[2223.0s] Yeah.
[2224.9s] And seeing the fucking kind of shit that's going on with this weird tree thing,
[2230.3s] Kav tries to call down that spectral flame.
[2234.6s] Okay.
[2236.2s] Describe to me what that looks like.
[2238.8s] Kav kind of raises his war hammer a little bit and like then like points it at the
[2244.0s] tree banjo man monster.
[2245.6s] Yep.
[2246.8s] And like a crack of like really bright, not quite lightning, but like flame, it's
[2256.7s] got a whole lot going on, kind of like comes down from the sky on top of this guy.
[2262.4s] Okay.
[2264.6s] Does, which unfortunately is actually radiant damage, but that's all right.
[2267.8s] That's fine.
[2268.6s] Yeah.
[2271.0s] And yeah, you need to do a dex save.
[2274.6s] Oh, that's a nat one.
[2277.0s] Any big pluses?
[2278.7s] Four.
[2279.0s] So that's a max five.
[2280.6s] Okay.
[2281.5s] Well, that is going to hit you.
[2283.2s] How can you have a plus four to dex?
[2284.8s] It's a giant tree monster that seems unfit.
[2287.2s] It's a giant instrument tree monster.
[2289.8s] Right, right, right.
[2291.0s] You're right.
[2291.9s] All right, all right.
[2294.3s] So yes, you'll take five points of radiant damage from the sky.
[2301.9s] And that's amazing.
[2303.4s] That comes down and like, although it's not flame, it does sear into this creature.
[2311.5s] And one thing we missed on your turn, Bonwyn, was additional fire damage because it is now
[2316.2s] a light from that position.
[2317.6s] So if you want to roll me a d6 on that as well.
[2320.5s] Six.
[2321.2s] Oh, shit.
[2324.9s] Okay, cool beans.
[2327.4s] The flames are building and like smoke is billowing through and like out of this
[2331.9s] creature's mouth now.
[2334.2s] And we go back to the children and like you see you've been,
[2338.6s] all of you have been kind of clocking them out of the corner.
[2340.7s] You guys seeing if anything changes and you see that same pattern.
[2344.2s] Like they have now, they are no longer stumbling.
[2347.6s] They are still continuing to dance.
[2349.5s] But there is that pause in the dance that they are not resolving still.
[2355.3s] Have they become any more corporeal or they're still just okay?
[2359.0s] Yeah, still everything is still the same for all intents and purposes.
[2363.4s] And we will go to Bonwyn.
[2367.2s] Oh, that's me.
[2369.1s] That's you.
[2369.8s] Okay.
[2370.2s] Well, I mean, really all I can do is just try again with that short sword.
[2377.4s] That is 25 to hit.
[2380.7s] Yes, it will.
[2382.2s] So that is a seven piercing damage and then I'll do the fire damage for this turn.
[2392.4s] And that's a six again.
[2394.4s] Oh, and because I hit sneak attack.
[2399.8s] Yeah.
[2404.1s] Which is an extra two.
[2406.2s] That's okay.
[2408.5s] Limbs and strings and vines are beginning to fall off of this creature.
[2412.6s] Like it's falling to its knees.
[2416.5s] The flames are engulfing it now.
[2419.7s] Roll me another fire extra d6 of fire damage.
[2423.7s] Five.
[2424.6s] The flames now moving across its body and up over its head.
[2429.0s] Like this discordant tune and melody begins like fracturing itself out of this creature
[2436.0s] as it falls to its knees and splinters.
[2438.7s] You hear crackles and pops of the wood as it falls to the ground at your feet.
[2443.7s] There's this echoing musicality that happens.
[2448.6s] And as the banjo music that's coming from the chest of this creature begins to fade,
[2456.7s] you look back at the children who are slowing their dance.
[2460.6s] But then there's a surge of music that happens and it begins to play faster.
[2468.4s] And the children begin to dance faster, still missing that beat.
[2472.6s] But it continues to pick up pace.
[2475.6s] The monster appears to be defeated.
[2478.0s] But whatever is controlling these children is not resolved.
[2483.1s] Well, with my super speediness, I was going to go over and use four attacks to attack
[2490.3s] the other four planks that dictate their movement.
[2494.2s] Just go ahead and take those out.
[2496.4s] Quickly you hop up onto the stage and you don't need to roll damage.
[2502.1s] We can just say you go up and you hit the planks.
[2505.0s] You destroy the symbols as they exist there.
[2508.4s] And you see their movements as they are moving faster.
[2511.8s] They begin to miss the steps that you are destroying.
[2515.6s] And they begin to, rather than stop on the steps,
[2519.2s] they begin to walk in the circle that they are creating this dance for.
[2526.0s] As the dance stops, they begin to move around you and they all turn and look at you,
[2533.2s] their hollow eyes staring down at you.
[2536.5s] And in one voice they all say,
[2539.8s] He waits for you at the hollow.
[2543.7s] The mist that engulfs this space begins to part.
[2547.9s] And it reveals on the far side of this clearing that you catch your eye.
[2554.7s] A forest path that leads out of this clearing.
[2560.5s] As this mist dissipates and the children before you become part of the mist.
[2566.6s] Follow out into the forest.
[2575.4s] Dumbgeons and Dragons Season 4 Episode 17 Starring Amy More as Alydin
[2581.5s] Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave
[2586.3s] Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard And Russ More as your Dungeon Master
[2591.1s] Dialogue editing and sound design of today's episode is by Russ More
[2594.9s] Our community manager is Jessica Babyuk Music is from Epidemic Sound
[2599.2s] And sound effects are from Epidemic Sound and Boom Library
[2602.6s] Our amazing cover art is by Matt Garbutt
[2605.2s] And we'd like to say a huge thank you to our supporting producers
[2608.8s] Including Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyuk, Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
[2613.4s] Angaron Kierzen, Perry Matey, Old School Gamer D, Craig Zeiss, and L.A. Branton
[2619.1s] We'd love for you to join us over on Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast
[2624.0s] Where there's so many amazing bonus episodes
[2626.5s] And now we're opening up the backstage of our actual records
[2630.6s] Join us today! Hey, you have a great week, we'll talk to you soon
[2633.9s] Hope to see you over there!
[2636.3s] What's for dinner?
[2639.5s] And she's going through puberty, obviously
[2646.4s] Do you want to give me another what's for dinner?
[2649.3s] What's for dinner?
[2651.2s] That's okay, that's okay, you try
[2655.2s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production