[0.0s] wordofwarning, tread carefully in the fey.
[3.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin in a moment.
[5.5s] Kav and Bizard, you're walking down this path that is unfurling its way for you as you're walking through it.
[13.5s] Both of you make an investigation roll.
[16.5s] Oh, my strong suit. Yeah.
[18.5s] Let's see here, 13 on the table.
[20.5s] Two.
[21.5s] You are rolling my dice as well.
[22.5s] This minus two is a real problem.
[24.5s] 16.
[25.5s] Okay.
[26.5s] Oh, I've got Amy's dice, of course.
[29.0s] Oh, that's what it is.
[30.0s] You can take some of mine here if you need.
[32.0s] No, I'm convinced I'll break the curse.
[35.0s] Okay.
[36.0s] Just got to wear it down a little bit.
[37.0s] Kav's that kind of upbeat guy that, like, he can do this.
[40.0s] I like that.
[41.0s] Yeah, Kav, like, this is all, it feels like a lot for you.
[46.0s] So, like, you're trying to pay attention, but really you're just taking the path ahead of you.
[52.0s] Whatever has brought you here is leading you down this path.
[56.0s] And, like, hopefully you find your friends at the end.
[58.5s] That's your goal.
[59.5s] I mean, I'm not going to find them by just standing still.
[61.5s] Exactly.
[62.5s] Bizarre, very much the same, but you're trying to glean anything on how this is working.
[70.5s] And the more you go down this path, you're starting to see broken runes along the side of this path.
[79.5s] You kind of catch your eye a little bit at first, but they become more present as you're looking.
[87.0s] You take a look at them, and they look like they've been here for a very long time.
[94.0s] Like, you could say they're, like, ancient stone markings along there.
[99.0s] The carvings themselves are in a language or some sort of pictogram language that you don't know.
[109.5s] I'm trying to remember the books that we gave you.
[115.5s] Let's see.
[116.5s] Did we give you any specifically on the thing?
[118.5s] Runes, rivets, and relics, machinations of the arcane, and the alchemy of invention.
[124.5s] So I think that first one would be the most applicable.
[126.5s] What about portals, portals, portals?
[128.5s] Oh, that was one as well.
[130.5s] I do have tears of the veil, portals, portals, portals, bestiary of the lost realms.
[137.0s] What the heck those other monsters are out there, or aminals.
[141.0s] And then phadials and hellish pacts.
[144.0s] So with a combination of some of those books, I'll take back that you recognize some of them,
[151.0s] but not so much that you know what they mean.
[154.0s] You've seen similar writings in the books, but you haven't had a chance to really dive into them to know that's what that means.
[163.0s] Yeah, I can't glean any context.
[165.5s] Exactly.
[166.5s] And a lot of them are half-buried and overgrown with moss.
[171.5s] And the fact that you caught them stands out to you, because they are part of the landscape.
[178.5s] That's how long you feel like they've been here.
[181.5s] Gotcha.
[182.5s] Do they look like they may have been part of some kind of structure for this specific path?
[192.0s] Like a crumbled archway or anything like that?
[195.0s] Right now they look like they're part of, not necessarily an archway, but of an old stone pathway.
[205.0s] The path you're walking on is very overgrown.
[209.0s] It's more bramble and sticks and leaves and things.
[213.0s] If you do take a little bit of time, do you take some time to dig at any of these things?
[220.0s] Yeah, I think the first one I would at least take a little bit of interest and try to clear the moss away and let Cav know,
[226.5s] hey, I'm stopping for a second. That's important, so you just don't keep walking.
[230.5s] Because I would. I'm kind of entranced by what's going on here.
[234.5s] Yeah, so you dig some of the moss away. You take a look at it.
[237.5s] And as you reveal this stone and dig away at the path itself, you see that there's more of the stone underneath this path.
[248.0s] There isn't necessarily the runes underneath the path, but the same stonework.
[252.0s] This was a proper stone path at some point.
[257.0s] It's yellow brick.
[263.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast, and I'm your dungeon master Russ More, he him.
[269.0s] Also with me today is Amy More as Alydin, she her.
[272.5s] Surprise!
[273.5s] Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane, she her.
[276.5s] How was your trip, guys?
[278.0s] Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, he him.
[281.0s] What's all that about?
[282.5s] And Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard, he him.
[285.5s] Oh, I'm glad I didn't go in for an attack now.
[287.5s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast, and you can join us today for a 7-day free trial at Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragoncast,
[296.0s] where we have an entire other podcast for you and an amazing community that you can be a part of like the second you join.
[303.0s] We want you to come check it out. Just give it a little taste.
[305.5s] Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragoncast will see you over there.
[308.5s] And now, fuck it, let's play.
[313.5s] Is this, uh, this stone with the rune on it, is this too big for me to take?
[318.0s] Like, it's pretty inset into the earth, so you'd have to take some time to try and dig it out, but no, it's...
[322.5s] Can you take a rubbing?
[324.0s] Oh, yeah, yeah, I do. I think I do have some, like, paper and, uh, and charcoal, so I would do that.
[329.5s] Okay.
[330.0s] To just get a rubbing real quick.
[331.0s] Thanks.
[331.5s] Um, but yeah, the size of the stone, you have to dig it out.
[334.5s] Probably the size of the stone.
[336.0s] That's what people say.
[338.5s] Um, yeah, you take a rubbing of the, of the engraving, and maybe you take a couple, as they go on, any different ones that you're able to find.
[345.5s] Yeah, definitely.
[346.5s] Okay. You take those, and you, uh, you two are continuing along the path.
[350.5s] Um, the sound of that banjo is continuing to, kind of, come and go.
[357.0s] Um, it's not constant, um, but you hear it, kind of, pick up for a song, and then it disappears and, like, fades out in the wind.
[364.5s] Um, and then it picks up again, and it's getting louder the further down this path you go.
[369.5s] Yeah, and it, is it specifically the, the song that the kids sang for us?
[373.5s] Not specifically. Um, it is, um...
[377.5s] It's the Eurovision remix?
[379.5s] You do hear that, and it kind of comes in and out, but it, it's not specifically always playing that song.
[386.0s] It's like the Scotty Doesn't Know song from EuroTrip. It's just, you hear different iterations of it, no matter where you are.
[392.0s] Matt Dean is hiding in the forest somewhere.
[394.0s] I'm going to turn to Cav and say, well, it appears that we're on some sort of intended path.
[399.0s] Uh, there's brick hiding underneath the foliage here, so...
[403.0s] Yeah, yeah, definitely it, uh, at least was at one time a popular thoroughfare.
[408.0s] Yeah, so, uh, but you're hearing that music too, right? I just...
[412.0s] Oh, the super creepy banjo music. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
[415.0s] Good, good, good.
[416.0s] Yeah, um, what's all that about?
[419.0s] Don't know, but I hear that one song, I don't know the others, so, uh...
[423.0s] Okay.
[424.0s] I, I, I guess, you know, I don't know if we're following it or if it's just coming in from the sides.
[430.0s] It kind of seems like...
[431.0s] Yeah, it kind of seems like it's all around.
[433.0s] Yeah, omnidirectional, and I don't, you know, can we, can we get any kind of sense of, like, north, south, east, or west?
[443.0s] Does that exist?
[444.0s] Like, like, the sun rises from this direction and sets this direction.
[450.0s] Wait a minute, isn't it night? How many moons are there?
[452.0s] Oh, yes.
[453.0s] Uh, yeah, you're still getting the, it's still, yeah, moonlit.
[457.0s] Right.
[458.0s] Um, I mean, you could roll survival. I'm gonna say it's a pretty high DC to try and...
[462.0s] Survival, that's like one of my better ones, as I lock my phone instead of open it up, tuck in.
[468.0s] That's one of my better ones.
[469.0s] D&D Beyond.
[470.0s] Get out of here.
[471.0s] Get the hell out of here. 14.
[472.0s] It's a weird space you're in. You think you have a, I have an understanding based on where you can see this singular moon.
[480.0s] Um, or like...
[481.0s] Is it a rebel moon?
[482.0s] It is, yeah.
[485.0s] You think you get an idea, and then, like, as the path opens and, like, it feels like the space is shifting, and, like, it completely shifts where you expect...
[495.0s] Changes orientation kind of at the same time.
[497.0s] Exactly.
[498.0s] Yeah, so, like, the landscape around you is changing so much that it's hard to determine, like, if you're just walking in a giant circle or if you're...
[505.0s] A loop-de-loop.
[506.0s] Yeah.
[507.0s] Gotcha. Okay.
[508.0s] So, yeah, the surroundings around you are playing games with you as well.
[512.0s] Okay. As we continue walking around, though, does it sound like the music is, like, gently getting louder or quieter?
[519.0s] Uh, yeah, it sounds like it is getting more, uh, when it does play, it's getting louder.
[524.0s] So, in theory, we're getting closer to it.
[527.0s] That's what you could...
[528.0s] That's what you would think.
[529.0s] I mean, as far as I know.
[531.0s] Yep.
[537.0s] Alydin!
[538.0s] Dinner!
[539.0s] Oh, I'm...
[540.0s] Nope.
[542.0s] Where is that girl?
[544.0s] The male figures.
[546.0s] I'll go take a look outside and see if I can find her.
[548.0s] And you hear footsteps.
[549.0s] Get up from the table, chair scoots out, and then you hear them go down the hallway.
[555.0s] It sounds like the hallway that you hadn't gone down or hadn't come out of.
[560.0s] And you hear a front door, like a creaky front door, and then that person has left the building.
[568.0s] I think Alydin just wants to wait it out.
[570.0s] I think she's honestly curious if she is going to be entering the kitchen, like, another her.
[579.0s] Are they waiting for her, her?
[581.0s] Or is this...
[583.0s] Is she, you know, seeing, like, I don't know, like a play of her life or what her life could be?
[589.0s] It's a long day's journey into night, but Alydin style.
[593.0s] Just curious to see if the man comes back with an Alydin.
[599.0s] And or a banjo.
[600.0s] Or a banjo.
[602.0s] Oh no, my dad was a banjo man the whole time.
[607.0s] Totally tracks, though.
[609.0s] Yeah, you wait a moment, and the woman gets up, and she comes over to the sink,
[615.0s] and you hear sloshing around a bit of water, and she's washing a dish,
[620.0s] and she puts it on a drying rack, and she goes and opens a cupboard,
[624.0s] and pulls out a couple things.
[626.0s] It's going to get cold.
[629.0s] And then the door opens at the front, and you hear just a singular set of footsteps come in,
[633.0s] and she's like, I can't find her. I can't find her anywhere.
[639.0s] Oh god, part of Alydin is like, I'm going to stay here until they leave,
[644.0s] and then I'm fucking leaving.
[646.0s] And the other part is, are they going to leave?
[649.0s] And who are these people?
[650.0s] And who are these people?
[651.0s] You can use your Madame Magenta decision maker.
[654.0s] Oh my god!
[655.0s] There it is!
[656.0s] Where is it?
[657.0s] It was here.
[658.0s] It was here.
[659.0s] It was here.
[660.0s] Right over there.
[661.0s] Oh my god.
[662.0s] Perfect timing.
[663.0s] How do you decide?
[664.0s] I can't decide.
[665.0s] Truly, you need an otherworldly source to make it happen.
[668.0s] Yes.
[669.0s] Okay.
[670.0s] Now make sure to do your vibe check.
[671.0s] Here's your instructions for you.
[672.0s] Thank you.
[673.0s] I will read these for the listeners.
[675.0s] So we got Madame Magenta's patented decision maker.
[678.0s] Toss a coin.
[679.0s] Choose your path.
[680.0s] Yes.
[681.0s] Maybe.
[682.0s] And then the instructions.
[683.0s] Madame Magenta accepts no responsibility for silly choices made by the user.
[687.0s] Understandable.
[688.0s] All right.
[689.0s] I'm going to ask Quinn a question.
[692.0s] Yes is the side with the cat and no is the side with the winky orb.
[697.0s] Oh, I really thought it would be the other way around.
[700.0s] Well, that's why Madame Magenta is so powerful.
[703.0s] Fair.
[704.0s] At least subverting expectations.
[707.0s] Toss it, check the outcome, and then do a vibe check.
[709.0s] All right.
[710.0s] All right.
[711.0s] Here we go.
[712.0s] I said cat was yes, right?
[713.0s] Yeah.
[714.0s] Okay.
[715.0s] That's a cat.
[716.0s] Yes.
[717.0s] I'm going to leave.
[718.0s] Okay.
[719.0s] I'm going to leave the cupboard.
[720.0s] You're going to leave the cupboard?
[721.0s] I'm going to leave the cupboard.
[722.0s] I'm leaving it up to fate.
[723.0s] Okay.
[724.0s] Because both decisions felt wrong.
[727.0s] So after like thinking it over and feeling like I can't stay here forever, like I could
[736.0s] be waited out, I'm going to get hungry.
[741.8s] This is like doing something as opposed to doing nothing is better.
[747.2s] So Alydin decides to like play along and come out of the cupboard, and she goes, surprise.
[758.2s] And just for the record, I'm going to get hungry would be like my number one motivation
[762.2s] to just leave the cupboard.
[763.2s] It's going to happen.
[764.2s] I mean, it's going to happen.
[765.2s] Like I'm fairly well-fed now.
[767.2s] And I'm like in a cupboard in the kitchen where I can probably smell delicious things.
[771.2s] I could probably smell that pot roast.
[772.2s] It's pot roast, isn't it?
[773.2s] It's definitely a pot roast.
[774.2s] I knew it.
[775.2s] So.
[776.2s] It's always a pot roast.
[778.2s] She can't help herself.
[780.6s] So yeah, she hops out from underneath the kitchen sink and yells, surprise.
[787.2s] Both the adults are startled as you do that.
[790.9s] And you, this is the first time you've had, she has to actually look at them.
[794.6s] The woman is, she's, she's quite thin, 5'10", 5'11", wearing a, like a yellow,
[805.2s] like bright yellow dress with an apron on over top.
[810.8s] She's got long curly red hair.
[814.7s] Both of their faces, I'll describe the man first.
[819.6s] He's dressed in more business attire.
[822.4s] Like he's got like gray slacks on, black belt.
[826.7s] Like he just came from work.
[827.9s] Like he just came from actually the, like the crotty.
[830.3s] Business suit, black belt from karate.
[835.6s] Yeah, that's right.
[837.6s] Yes.
[838.9s] And then just a, like a pretty plain button up shirt.
[845.5s] He's got a little, he's a little, like losing a little hair, he's combed over.
[850.4s] Oh, he's, he's Alydin's dad.
[853.0s] Yeah, I can definitely see him not keeping all his hair.
[857.1s] Both of their faces appear obscured to you.
[860.5s] Like you can't quite make out certain, you can't make out really any facial features.
[865.3s] Like you can, you get a sense from their body language and from what you can see.
[870.3s] Like they're shocked and surprised when you come out.
[873.6s] And then there's like a warmth, a bit of a smile that comes over them.
[878.2s] It's the woman, she comes over to you and she says,
[881.7s] how long have you been under there?
[883.2s] I've been calling you for what seems like forever.
[886.2s] I just, I was just, I was doing a joke.
[890.7s] Oh, you and your jokes.
[892.7s] Go wash your hands and get over here, it's dinnertime.
[896.6s] I turn around to the kitchen sink and I grab the bar of soap and dunk my hands in the basin of water and wash them up,
[907.0s] dry them off and I come and sit down at the table.
[910.2s] Everybody sits down around the table and says, so what have you been up to today, dear?
[915.7s] Oh, you know, just looking outside and picking flowers and...
[925.9s] Oh, where did you put them?
[928.3s] That would be nice to put them on the table.
[930.6s] I found a bunny and I fed them to it.
[935.5s] No, that's good to keep the animals all fed up here.
[939.2s] And she scoops you some potatoes and puts them down, some of the roast.
[944.7s] Everything smells delicious.
[946.9s] This is the light in the room has brightened up now that you're in this space.
[953.2s] How is Alydin feeling in this space?
[955.6s] Trepidatious.
[956.9s] Like, it's a too good to be true moment because she still feels like, I never had this.
[967.6s] So this isn't real.
[969.8s] This isn't a memory that I'm looking back on.
[973.0s] Yeah.
[974.2s] And so she's wary.
[978.2s] Like, can I investigate the food?
[982.5s] Like, am I going to know, is it poison?
[984.4s] Like, she's not going to take a bite before they do.
[988.4s] Sure.
[989.8s] But yeah.
[990.3s] Give the sniff test.
[991.4s] Yeah.
[993.1s] Yeah, you can investigate.
[995.0s] So suspicious and so sad that it's so suspicious.
[997.9s] But of course she is.
[999.3s] Seventeen.
[1000.5s] OK, yeah, you're getting dished up first.
[1003.8s] And she's dishing up your father in this situation.
[1009.2s] Not like out of the pot, but like serving him.
[1014.0s] Yes.
[1015.0s] Yeah, thank you.
[1015.7s] Thank you, Tom.
[1016.2s] Well, me dishing up your father sounded a little...
[1018.7s] I see the devil on Tom.
[1022.5s] Yep.
[1023.6s] Yeah, serving up the food to each of the different plates.
[1026.6s] And then they all sit down.
[1027.8s] And your dad starts digging in, like is eating quite quickly.
[1034.6s] Putting food into his, what you can presume,
[1037.3s] is his mouth, because he still can't quite make out.
[1041.0s] It's like cloudy.
[1042.6s] When you're in a dream and you know people are people
[1045.8s] and you know what they look like,
[1047.3s] but like they don't have faces,
[1049.4s] that's how I dream anyway.
[1050.7s] So yes, this makes sense to me.
[1053.6s] I take my fork.
[1055.3s] I don't know if I'm looking for pills or something.
[1058.3s] There's just razor blades.
[1059.7s] There's just razor blades, maybe some, I don't know.
[1063.0s] Sure, it's a glass.
[1064.1s] Yeah, just a little warfarin that you get.
[1066.8s] So I'm like, I'm kind of like picking around it.
[1069.8s] It's blood thinners.
[1071.6s] Rapp poison.
[1072.3s] Yeah, OK.
[1074.3s] Just kind of picking around it
[1076.2s] and watching the man furiously eat the food.
[1080.8s] Yeah, no, he's putting it back.
[1083.8s] And the other woman, she's eating it.
[1086.6s] And she says, oh, you should eat up, dear.
[1089.0s] You're looking so thin.
[1090.4s] You need to put a little more meat on your bones.
[1094.2s] I'm not, oh, OK.
[1098.7s] She's hungry.
[1099.3s] She's always been hungry.
[1099.8s] I'm not OK.
[1100.5s] That's exactly right.
[1101.4s] I'm not OK.
[1103.1s] She takes a small bit of the mashed potatoes on her fork
[1107.6s] and eats it.
[1110.2s] You die immediately.
[1111.3s] Yeah.
[1112.8s] Let's go to Bonwyn.
[1114.6s] 10 saving throws.
[1115.8s] Roll 46.
[1116.7s] With two already failed.
[1119.4s] You put some in your mouth and they're
[1121.2s] the tastiest potatoes you've ever had.
[1124.2s] Well, that's just cracking the dam.
[1128.0s] It's blown open.
[1128.9s] I start eating.
[1131.0s] Yeah, it's like the three of you
[1135.6s] are now just in this state of piling this food
[1139.3s] into your mouth.
[1140.0s] And it gets to a point.
[1141.6s] And everybody just kind of calms down and stops.
[1145.2s] And the woman starts cleaning up a little bit and says,
[1150.2s] oh, it's so good to have you here.
[1152.9s] Oh, so, so good to have you here.
[1155.2s] We're going to have so much fun tomorrow.
[1157.3s] I can't wait to show you.
[1159.4s] She starts taking the dishes and scraping them off
[1162.2s] and washing them.
[1164.0s] What are we doing tomorrow?
[1165.4s] Oh, we've got big plans tomorrow, big plans tomorrow.
[1168.8s] It's really great to have us all together again.
[1172.4s] What are the big plans?
[1173.4s] Oh, we'll tell you tomorrow.
[1174.6s] Don't worry.
[1175.2s] Don't worry.
[1176.1s] Why don't you take her up to her bedroom, dear?
[1178.4s] The man steps up from the table and says, come on,
[1180.6s] and I'll show you your room again.
[1183.7s] OK.
[1186.0s] I follow him.
[1188.6s] He leads you down the hallway exiting out of the kitchen.
[1191.8s] This is so weird that they're acknowledging
[1193.6s] that we haven't been together,
[1195.3s] and now we're together again.
[1197.0s] And you've never been to your room before,
[1198.7s] but maybe you have.
[1199.5s] But last, let me show you again, like, ugh.
[1204.8s] So he leads you down the hallway, the one
[1206.6s] that you saw, where you presume he had gone.
[1209.8s] So there's a small living area.
[1212.5s] It looks a little dusty, and then you
[1214.3s] can see some cobwebs up in the corners there.
[1217.6s] And there is that front entry door
[1220.2s] that you heard him leave earlier.
[1223.9s] And you look out into the front yard,
[1226.1s] and there's a white picket fence out in the front.
[1228.7s] There's an apple tree.
[1231.0s] There's a small porch area.
[1233.4s] You can't see much beyond the fence,
[1235.4s] but you can presume that there's like a field out there.
[1239.6s] And then there's a set of stairs that goes up the floor.
[1243.2s] And you're heading up, and there are creaky stairs,
[1245.7s] and you're following behind him.
[1247.8s] And then there's a couple of rooms up top.
[1252.0s] There's what looks like the master suites, which
[1256.4s] is where your parents stay.
[1257.6s] You kind of take a quick look in there.
[1260.4s] You see a bed, and a dresser, and a couple
[1264.1s] pictures on the wall.
[1266.0s] Am I in any of the pictures?
[1270.0s] Make an investigation check.
[1272.0s] And are they in any of the pictures,
[1273.6s] and can she see their faces?
[1276.5s] It's all just the placeholder thing.
[1277.9s] Good question, Tom.
[1278.7s] Never removed anything out of the frames
[1280.2s] after they bought them.
[1281.0s] The ones that came from Sears.
[1282.2s] Yeah, exactly.
[1283.5s] 23.
[1285.8s] Yeah, you get it.
[1286.8s] I'm young.
[1287.2s] I've got good eyesight.
[1288.2s] There you go.
[1289.0s] And you just had a bunch of carrots, so even more so.
[1292.3s] Yeah, you get a good look at these pictures.
[1294.6s] And you see three figures in the majority of the pictures,
[1301.1s] the man and the woman, and yourself
[1303.9s] at various different ages.
[1306.7s] You can make out your face quite well.
[1309.8s] The man and the woman still give that clouded face
[1314.6s] appearance in each of the pictures.
[1317.4s] Really thought I had them there.
[1320.8s] OK.
[1322.6s] I continue to follow him.
[1323.9s] And they lead you down the hall, and he opens a door,
[1326.4s] a little creek to the door.
[1328.7s] And you enter into this room.
[1331.5s] And it's a small room.
[1334.0s] There's a nice bed and a little desk, a dresser
[1339.9s] that is partially open.
[1342.2s] There's some clothes hanging out
[1344.0s] of one of the drawers.
[1345.4s] Yeah, I'm sloppy.
[1346.3s] Is a nice, floral, no fingernails,
[1351.6s] wallpaper on the wall.
[1352.6s] I knew I was going to ask.
[1353.6s] You knew it.
[1354.9s] A window, the moonlight's coming through,
[1359.5s] and wooden floors all throughout.
[1362.8s] The bedding is this nice, soft pink
[1368.0s] with a really cushy-looking pillow on the bed.
[1371.4s] There are a couple of toys.
[1372.6s] What toys do you see?
[1375.1s] Just some, like, there are some dolls.
[1378.3s] There's a small dollhouse and a few trains.
[1384.9s] Well, a train set and some blocks.
[1387.7s] Here's your room.
[1388.8s] Make yourself comfortable.
[1390.2s] Well, where, where, where, where, where have I been?
[1399.5s] Well, you've been right here.
[1403.6s] But you guys said it was nice to have me back.
[1406.1s] Oh, did we say that?
[1407.8s] Oh, well, it's always nice to have you back.
[1409.7s] I mean, you go out during the day,
[1411.9s] and it's always nice to have you back.
[1414.4s] Hmm.
[1415.5s] Um, how was work?
[1419.2s] Oh, work was great.
[1421.7s] They're keeping me pretty busy today.
[1423.8s] I'm sorry I wasn't home sooner.
[1426.8s] Probably would have caught on to your little game earlier
[1430.0s] and wouldn't have had to go out.
[1431.9s] Worry, everybody.
[1433.2s] I was in there for a while.
[1436.4s] Where, where do you work?
[1439.7s] I work down at the mill.
[1441.5s] What do you do?
[1442.9s] Oh, I'm a, I'm the manager down there.
[1444.9s] Of course, you know this.
[1446.1s] Oh, right.
[1447.8s] What does mom do?
[1451.0s] Oh, mom keeps the house for us.
[1456.0s] What's with all the questions?
[1458.7s] I had a weird dream last night,
[1463.8s] and now I'm just making sure.
[1467.8s] Do I go to school?
[1469.7s] Of course you go to school.
[1471.2s] Where's my school?
[1472.4s] Oh, it's just down the lane.
[1474.7s] He moves over to the window.
[1476.6s] He says, it's hard to see right now because it's dark,
[1479.5s] but is everything okay?
[1481.9s] Yeah, yeah.
[1483.3s] Yeah, no, everything's fine.
[1485.3s] Okay.
[1486.9s] All right, well, he moves over to try and feel your forehead.
[1492.2s] I stiffen, but I let him.
[1497.3s] His hand goes on his forehead.
[1498.6s] Oh, you look like you're feeling okay.
[1500.3s] All right, well, perhaps it's just been a long day
[1502.6s] and you just need to have a little rest.
[1503.9s] Feel free to lie down.
[1506.8s] We were going to...
[1507.9s] Where's Muffins?
[1509.1s] Where's Muffins?
[1510.9s] Our cat.
[1511.5s] Oh, I haven't seen our cat in a little while.
[1514.7s] Well, where is she?
[1516.0s] Oh, maybe she got out.
[1517.1s] She usually comes back though.
[1519.0s] Okay, can we look for her tomorrow?
[1521.0s] Of course, of course.
[1522.2s] If she's not back tomorrow,
[1523.2s] we'll put out some milk and encourage her back.
[1526.4s] But if not, we'll go out and look for her tomorrow.
[1529.3s] What are we doing tomorrow?
[1530.4s] Mom wouldn't tell me.
[1531.2s] She said it was a surprise.
[1532.2s] Oh, well.
[1533.1s] But I know you'll tell me.
[1533.9s] Yes, of course, of course.
[1535.6s] I'll tell you, she's got a big thing planned.
[1538.3s] I don't want to spoil it too much,
[1539.7s] but there's a big parade going on.
[1542.9s] Act surprised.
[1544.0s] For me?
[1545.4s] Not for you, but there is a parade going on
[1547.9s] and she wants to take you to it
[1549.7s] because she knows you really love to see
[1551.2s] all the carts all done up,
[1555.1s] all the costumes out, the music playing.
[1557.9s] Will Cedric be there?
[1559.5s] Oh, Cedric comes there all the time.
[1563.6s] Okay, I won't tell her you told me.
[1566.0s] Oh, thank you, thank you.
[1568.6s] All right, you have a great sleep, okay?
[1570.9s] Okay.
[1572.4s] Starts leaving the room.
[1574.8s] I start to wander around the room
[1576.9s] and look in my drawers.
[1579.2s] Yeah, he pulls the door closed behind him.
[1582.1s] You hear a little of the latch,
[1584.9s] not a lock, but the latch.
[1586.3s] You hear several deadbolts.
[1587.9s] Oh, God.
[1589.8s] Yeah, no, the door closes,
[1591.0s] you hear footsteps go back downstairs
[1593.1s] as you explore the space.
[1599.5s] Ho bag of doughnuts.
[1601.8s] Welcome to the middle, everybody.
[1603.4s] So glad to have you here.
[1606.4s] We're just in here like a whole bag of doughnuts.
[1610.2s] Whole bag of doughnuts.
[1611.8s] That's right.
[1612.6s] Doughbag.
[1613.4s] We hope you're having a wonderful day.
[1615.9s] It's even more wonderful because you're here now
[1619.0s] and we love having you here.
[1621.7s] Absolutely.
[1622.6s] This will be the last episode
[1624.7s] with our guest DM, pneumonia Russ,
[1628.3s] who is here with us today.
[1631.4s] Aw.
[1632.8s] Who I've had multiple comments being like,
[1634.8s] yeah, the guest DM really knows the story.
[1637.2s] Who the hell is that?
[1639.5s] Are you serious?
[1640.5s] Yeah, somebody did it in the Discord just today
[1642.8s] or yesterday.
[1643.6s] Aw, buddy.
[1644.6s] Yeah.
[1645.4s] Yeah.
[1646.3s] Like, no, that was guest DM pneumonia Russ.
[1649.2s] And then it was like right out of the middle
[1651.0s] with healthy Russ into pneumonia Russ,
[1653.4s] like without a beat.
[1654.8s] And it was two very different people.
[1657.1s] It scared me.
[1658.0s] It was a very different sound.
[1659.2s] It was like I was cheating on him.
[1661.1s] I was like, I gotta hear what Russ is sounding like.
[1663.2s] And then it started and I was like, oh no.
[1665.9s] Oh no.
[1667.3s] We pushed through.
[1668.2s] We should have known.
[1669.5s] We should have known we were all gonna get sick.
[1670.8s] There were signs.
[1671.6s] We were already thinking.
[1674.4s] You've just been around me for two days before that.
[1676.7s] So like bumping up a podcast to 1.5,
[1679.4s] you gotta do it incrementally.
[1680.9s] Yeah.
[1681.7s] Well, I wonder if the breakfast we went to
[1684.3s] was like the spreader event.
[1687.2s] Oh, cause that was all the people.
[1689.6s] Yeah.
[1690.4s] All the people who got horribly sick.
[1691.7s] Yeah, we're at that first breakfast.
[1693.4s] Yeah.
[1694.6s] Yeah.
[1695.5s] I think it was.
[1696.3s] It was, yeah.
[1697.2s] We shouldn't have all shared that one milkshake
[1698.5s] with one straw, but we did.
[1700.1s] It was a terrible night.
[1701.7s] That would have been a good picture to get.
[1703.9s] That would be a really cute picture.
[1705.7s] How would we all get on that straw at the same time?
[1707.6s] You know what?
[1708.4s] That's a problem we can solve in person.
[1710.5s] That's for next time.
[1711.5s] Just figure it out, okay?
[1714.0s] That's right.
[1714.8s] Anyway, middle guest, EM, pneumonia, Russ, you're here.
[1720.3s] I hope everyone is enjoying us being together
[1723.7s] cause we sure enjoyed it.
[1724.8s] Enjoyed the hell out of that.
[1726.3s] Yeah.
[1727.2s] Yeah, it was the best.
[1728.0s] I can't wait till we do it again.
[1730.0s] Yes.
[1730.9s] We haven't set a date yet, but it's time is a construct.
[1733.2s] We've learned some things.
[1734.3s] It's gonna be warmer.
[1735.6s] We're gonna be less sick.
[1737.3s] It's gonna be amazing.
[1738.7s] Cause it was already amazing
[1740.3s] and it's gonna be like next level amazing.
[1742.2s] Oh yeah.
[1743.2s] Yeah.
[1744.1s] It's gonna be fantastic.
[1745.9s] Know who else is next level amazing?
[1748.0s] Tell me Carla.
[1749.5s] Cause when, well, when you are a patron of our show
[1752.8s] at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast,
[1755.1s] one of the things you get,
[1756.1s] one of the many things you get,
[1758.1s] including some fun new things,
[1760.4s] is an episode dedicated to you.
[1762.0s] And I just know in my heart
[1765.3s] that this is gonna be someone extra special.
[1768.5s] Yeah, it is.
[1769.3s] It's Jeff B.
[1770.4s] Thanks Jeff.
[1771.2s] Thank you.
[1772.1s] Thank you so much.
[1773.3s] I'm assuming Bezos, if so,
[1775.4s] kick it up a few notches on the Patreon.
[1777.7s] Yeah, Bezos, let's get it.
[1780.6s] Let's jack up the Patreon to the point of no one else
[1783.2s] would I ever say that to.
[1785.2s] There's like six dudes in the world
[1787.6s] and they're all dudes and I would say that too.
[1789.8s] And he's one, you can afford it.
[1791.7s] But if you're not Jeff Bezos,
[1793.8s] and I hope you're not.
[1798.1s] But if you are,
[1799.0s] let us know what secret tier you want us to create.
[1801.6s] But we love you.
[1802.7s] Jeff B.
[1803.5s] And we will create it.
[1804.4s] We have always talked about a deranged millionaire tier.
[1807.1s] We are also happy to create a deranged billionaire tier.
[1810.9s] We thought it was assumed, but you let us know.
[1814.2s] But probably this is just a wonderful Jeff.
[1816.4s] It's guaranteed just to be a wonderful Jeff B.
[1818.2s] This is just a wonderful Jeff B.
[1820.9s] Thanks Jeff.
[1821.8s] B stands for best.
[1823.4s] We got a lot of content
[1825.6s] that Amazon Studios could make into something.
[1828.4s] Right.
[1829.3s] So hit us up.
[1830.1s] And Chris Pratt's in all of it.
[1832.0s] Yeah.
[1833.0s] He's playing me.
[1834.4s] We can have him just going to walk.
[1836.8s] He's playing Sully from season two.
[1839.2s] Yeah.
[1840.0s] Yeah.
[1840.8s] That's it.
[1841.7s] Okay, well now as the dog starts barking,
[1843.4s] it's time to wrap up the middle.
[1845.4s] So thank you for being here with us.
[1847.1s] Enjoy the rest of the episode.
[1848.6s] Back to regular Voiced Russ next week.
[1851.6s] Woo.
[1852.6s] Next week.
[1853.4s] Love you, bye.
[1854.2s] Love you, bye.
[1855.1s] Love you, bye.
[1858.3s] What is the oldest I appear in the pictures?
[1860.6s] There's a range from like probably two, three
[1864.8s] up to like 10 or 12.
[1868.5s] So no real like recent pictures
[1870.8s] because you're 14.
[1872.1s] Yeah.
[1872.9s] Yeah.
[1873.8s] Nothing that appears to be really recent.
[1875.8s] But yeah, there is like a scattering.
[1881.1s] And the room.
[1887.9s] Okay.
[1890.9s] I hate it when you make me ponder.
[1893.9s] How big are the clothes?
[1895.2s] Yeah.
[1896.0s] Like when I'm looking at the drawers,
[1897.2s] are they like children's clothes?
[1899.6s] Are they clothes you would even wear?
[1901.2s] Yeah.
[1902.1s] Are they anything like your style?
[1903.7s] I don't know if homeless child has style.
[1906.0s] But what does child in the photos have?
[1910.2s] Russ?
[1912.0s] Details.
[1912.9s] Yes.
[1913.7s] You take a look at all of the clothes and like.
[1916.8s] Would they fit me?
[1917.7s] They would all fit you.
[1919.0s] Yep.
[1919.8s] I would start filling my bucket with underwear.
[1925.0s] Cause let's face it.
[1925.8s] Yeah.
[1926.6s] Didn't we give you a lifetime supply of underwear?
[1929.5s] Yes.
[1930.3s] From the pirates?
[1931.2s] Do I have them now?
[1933.2s] Probably not now.
[1934.3s] Yeah, specifically.
[1935.6s] All of the clothes would fit you.
[1937.5s] They, they're all nice.
[1941.4s] They're all like different floral patterns,
[1943.8s] different like solid colors.
[1945.6s] There's dresses, there's t-shirts, there's pants, there's.
[1949.3s] Kind of like.
[1950.1s] Yeah.
[1951.0s] Middle class.
[1951.9s] Yeah.
[1952.8s] Child clothes.
[1953.6s] Yeah.
[1954.4s] All right.
[1955.5s] I sit on the bed and I sink.
[1959.1s] Deep thoughts.
[1966.1s] Bon, when you're running out into a field,
[1969.4s] Thorne's in that sort of thing,
[1971.9s] pulling at your pant legs.
[1973.7s] You'd close the door and like,
[1975.5s] you hear it straining that door behind you.
[1979.6s] This field looks like it goes on forever.
[1983.4s] And you hear like the wood break.
[1986.1s] And this creature that was your father
[1989.7s] is like barreling down towards you.
[1994.2s] Okay.
[1995.6s] Before he gets too close to me then,
[1998.0s] maybe I'm going to try to shoot him.
[2000.7s] Shortbow.
[2001.8s] Okay.
[2003.1s] Hate this guy.
[2006.3s] That's a 12.
[2008.2s] 12 will not hit.
[2009.2s] So like you're running, you turn,
[2011.6s] and you make a quick fire and you miss.
[2015.9s] You see him, he's like digging in
[2018.3s] and running on all fours.
[2019.7s] And like there's his long teeth in this creature.
[2022.4s] It looks kind of almost wolf-like
[2025.8s] in the way that he's running.
[2028.3s] But doesn't look like any animal you've ever seen
[2031.8s] or heard of or come across before.
[2033.8s] Okay, as a bonus action,
[2035.5s] can I take my cunning action and dash?
[2039.5s] Yes.
[2041.0s] Is there, is it just field?
[2042.8s] Like there's no forest.
[2044.0s] It's just like endless fields.
[2046.2s] I'm in the middle of Saskatchewan.
[2047.6s] Here I go.
[2048.6s] Just running.
[2049.6s] Canada spread basket.
[2052.4s] Yeah, yeah.
[2053.7s] Yeah, so as you first start running,
[2055.6s] that's what it looks like.
[2056.5s] You turn and you fire wide.
[2059.4s] You see this creature with like these red eyes,
[2064.0s] drool coming down its mouth.
[2065.4s] And then you turn back and it does look like
[2067.6s] some forest has come into view off in the distance there.
[2070.8s] Oh, well, veer that way.
[2072.9s] Any kind of cover, I think.
[2074.4s] You dash towards him, towards it.
[2077.0s] And like the two of you are running in pace.
[2080.9s] He's gaining on you a little bit with each step.
[2084.9s] But you make it to the forest
[2087.7s] and you get in, you're weaving through the trees.
[2092.2s] Make a dexterity saving throw as you do so.
[2097.8s] 12, I hate this dice, this one's fire.
[2101.5s] 12 again.
[2102.8s] It only rolls sixes.
[2106.5s] Who's a D6, me fuck, exactly.
[2109.4s] You're weaving through the trees
[2110.5s] and like your foot catches on something
[2113.3s] which causes you to go down
[2114.6s] and you find yourself like underneath a fallen log.
[2120.0s] You hear the sound of this creature
[2122.0s] like barreling through the trees behind you.
[2124.7s] And it like, because you've fallen under this log,
[2128.1s] it goes over top of you and carries forward a little ways.
[2133.2s] Getting fainter and fainter and then you hear it stop
[2135.7s] and it's like trying to survey where,
[2137.7s] figure out where you've gone.
[2139.9s] Okay, well in the meantime.
[2143.6s] Oh, why don't we have any magic?
[2144.8s] Why is there any magic in this world, guys?
[2146.6s] It's the worst.
[2150.6s] I guess I'm gonna pull my short sword out
[2155.0s] and just like ready an action if he comes back
[2159.6s] or jumps over that I can like try and get him.
[2163.5s] Sure. Try and gut him.
[2164.7s] Maintain position though.
[2165.7s] Maintain position,
[2166.5s] cause I am a bit hidden it seems like.
[2168.2s] Yep.
[2169.1s] Yeah. Okay.
[2170.3s] You hear it stop and now you hear it like circling,
[2173.2s] trying to figure out where you are.
[2175.2s] Okay.
[2177.0s] Well, I mean, I'm not gonna run out there
[2180.2s] cause that would be crazy.
[2182.9s] Oh, well, maybe I could just take like,
[2185.1s] I have some stuff on my apron that I'm always wearing.
[2190.5s] Maybe I just like take something heavy and chuck it
[2194.6s] as far as I can away from me.
[2196.2s] So it maybe causes the creature to think I'm over there.
[2199.3s] Yeah. What do you grab and which way do you throw?
[2205.6s] Just like a small pair of like tongs or something.
[2208.0s] Yeah, or like a little finishing hammer.
[2210.2s] Yeah, exactly.
[2211.1s] Everyone doesn't have tiny hammers.
[2212.3s] Well, come on.
[2213.1s] Everyone should.
[2214.0s] Everyone does.
[2214.8s] I would totally have a tiny hammer
[2216.4s] and I'll throw it back towards the way we came,
[2219.0s] like back to the field
[2220.3s] cause I don't wanna go back that way.
[2222.1s] Yep. Okay.
[2223.6s] Yeah. You, you huck it through the trees
[2225.6s] and it clangs off of some branches
[2227.7s] and makes a bunch of racket.
[2229.3s] And then you hear this creature like pick up pace again
[2232.3s] and like crunch the,
[2234.0s] crunch the trees and everything around it
[2236.0s] as it moves back that way.
[2237.6s] Again, getting,
[2238.4s] it gets louder and then it gets quieter.
[2240.0s] Great.
[2240.8s] And then I'm gonna run again.
[2242.6s] Okay.
[2243.8s] You're running further into the, into the forest.
[2246.1s] Yep.
[2247.1s] You're not chasing the monster now.
[2248.3s] No, I'm not. I'm not chasing you now.
[2249.1s] I've not decided, yeah.
[2251.0s] You're the prey now, monster dad.
[2255.3s] No.
[2256.1s] In the name of the monster dad.
[2258.4s] Okay. Yeah.
[2259.3s] You are running through the trees.
[2260.8s] You wanna make a survival roll?
[2262.0s] Sure, I do.
[2265.0s] 10.
[2265.8s] You're jumping over branches
[2267.5s] and pushing away the thicket as you're walking through.
[2271.6s] And then as you get deeper into the wood,
[2274.9s] the pathway begins to form in front of you.
[2279.8s] The thicket becomes a little clearer
[2282.2s] and like there's a,
[2283.7s] there is a path that you can now follow.
[2286.9s] The sound of the monster is getting farther away.
[2290.5s] You can still kind of hear it faintly in the distance.
[2294.2s] This is still present in your current state.
[2298.4s] But yeah, the trees are beginning to widen
[2301.1s] and it's like this path is forming in front of you.
[2303.7s] Okay.
[2306.1s] Yeah.
[2306.9s] Well, I'm gonna stick to the path then,
[2309.2s] but run in a zigzag pattern.
[2311.8s] Serpentine.
[2314.6s] But yeah, I'm just gonna keep booking it
[2316.4s] cause that seems like the most immediate danger
[2319.4s] is giant scary creature.
[2320.7s] One of us, one of us, one of us.
[2324.8s] Okay.
[2325.7s] In your zigzag pattern, you are running down this path.
[2327.5s] And as you're going down this path,
[2328.9s] you begin to hear off in the distance,
[2330.7s] the sound of the banjo.
[2334.7s] Bizard and Cav,
[2335.9s] you have been continuing down this path
[2337.8s] and it's still getting louder.
[2339.9s] And as you're going,
[2341.2s] like you look ahead and the path begins to curve,
[2344.7s] which it hadn't really done before.
[2346.6s] It was much of continuing,
[2349.3s] but it seemed like it was going down this straight way.
[2351.7s] And as you look ahead,
[2353.2s] you see it kind of veer off
[2355.0s] and you hear fast footsteps coming from up ahead.
[2361.2s] I get my sword out.
[2362.3s] Yeah, I'm gonna pull out my hammer again.
[2364.0s] Yeah.
[2364.9s] If I even put it away.
[2365.9s] Probably didn't.
[2366.7s] Probably didn't.
[2367.6s] Probably didn't.
[2368.4s] Danger, 100% always.
[2369.8s] Yeah.
[2370.6s] Do you stop to wait or do you continue forward?
[2373.8s] I mean, maybe try to like take a little cover
[2376.1s] so that whatever's coming through
[2377.6s] maybe doesn't see us first and we see it, but.
[2380.8s] Yeah.
[2381.6s] I think that's a good plan.
[2382.9s] Both sides of the trail.
[2384.0s] Yeah.
[2386.2s] You go high, I'll go low.
[2387.4s] Yeah.
[2388.2s] That's right.
[2389.1s] You go off to each side of the path.
[2391.1s] You hear these footsteps
[2393.2s] and they are like fast paced running down
[2397.9s] and you don't really quite have eyes on it.
[2400.6s] You're trying to stay pretty well hidden.
[2402.4s] And then this person is running
[2404.9s] and they get to a point
[2407.8s] where anybody doing an ambush
[2410.6s] might jump out at this point.
[2412.5s] I mean, yeah, I'm going low with the hammer.
[2414.4s] Okay.
[2416.2s] You jump out and you swing your hammer
[2420.4s] or move to swing your hammer.
[2422.4s] And in the same instant that you're swinging it
[2424.9s] you look and you see Bonwyn
[2427.6s] panicked faced, running down this path.
[2430.4s] Roll for not killing your friend.
[2432.0s] Yeah.
[2434.2s] And I'll roll for dex.
[2435.2s] Yeah.
[2436.0s] Love it.
[2437.3s] Yeah, I mean, I would try to trip the person up
[2439.6s] not knowing it was Bonwyn.
[2440.9s] And then I guess seeing that it is Bonwyn
[2443.4s] I'll like try to move the path my hammer's on,
[2448.0s] but like.
[2448.9s] Roll.
[2450.0s] I don't know if I can do it.
[2450.8s] Roll with Disadvant.
[2453.1s] Yeah, I, no, yeah, roll.
[2455.3s] Yeah, roll to attack.
[2456.6s] Okay.
[2457.4s] And roll.
[2458.2s] Because maybe you'll miss anyway.
[2459.1s] Yeah.
[2459.9s] But then yeah, give a,
[2462.9s] probably a dexterity saving throw.
[2464.8s] That's double the other one.
[2465.6s] It's better.
[2467.2s] Dex saving throw.
[2468.2s] With disadvantage, you said.
[2469.6s] Yeah.
[2470.5s] It's better.
[2471.3s] Yeah, cause like, yeah, you're swinging with intent
[2473.0s] but then you're like trying to pull yourself back.
[2475.4s] It's a 12.
[2476.2s] 25.
[2477.0s] Okay.
[2477.9s] Oh wow.
[2478.7s] So yeah.
[2479.5s] What's up?
[2480.4s] You see it's Bonwyn.
[2481.2s] Just hops over like, no problem.
[2482.0s] And Bonwyn leaps over top of your hammer
[2484.4s] as it skids across the ground.
[2486.1s] And Bazaar, do you see Cav do this?
[2489.6s] And then Bonwyn leap over top.
[2491.1s] So now the three of you are all
[2493.2s] in the middle of this path.
[2494.4s] I'm just standing there with my quarters.
[2496.7s] Well, I guess my sword,
[2497.5s] I always think wizard and quarter step.
[2498.6s] Standing there with my sword,
[2499.5s] I'm like, oh, I'm glad I didn't go in for an attack now.
[2502.9s] I'm sorry, Bonwyn.
[2503.7s] And I'm like, how was your trip, guys?
[2508.9s] I don't necessarily think that's important
[2511.2s] but thank you for caring.
[2512.6s] What, other than missing children, what's going on?
[2517.3s] Cause I haven't seen them, right?
[2518.7s] They came back.
[2519.6s] No, they came back.
[2520.4s] They were still in Kingstown when you guys disappeared.
[2523.8s] I was, okay, so Banjo, Banjo Man Stealing Kit.
[2528.0s] Okay, you know about that.
[2529.1s] Okay.
[2529.9s] Yeah, we heard about that.
[2530.8s] So, Alydin and I came here.
[2532.2s] Tally was gone.
[2533.0s] And then I was in my childhood bedroom
[2535.5s] and it was nice.
[2537.0s] It was nice, guys.
[2538.6s] And I saw my parents and then I was with my dad.
[2541.9s] And then he turned into-
[2543.4s] Sounds awful.
[2544.2s] A monster.
[2545.3s] Oh, that sounds even more awful.
[2546.1s] Yeah, that's awful.
[2547.0s] Monster and I ran and then he was a monster
[2549.6s] and like a weird, scary.
[2552.4s] And I just ran and now-
[2555.0s] And now I'm trying to shake your legs out.
[2556.8s] And now my best friend just attacked me.
[2559.1s] No.
[2559.9s] And now it's like, and now you're here.
[2565.2s] What are you doing here?
[2566.3s] Well, we came to find you.
[2568.0s] Came to find you.
[2568.8s] And Alydin.
[2569.7s] And Alydin.
[2570.5s] I sent Alydin a message on our way back
[2571.9s] and never heard a response.
[2573.0s] So that's telling.
[2575.2s] And like he used like magic to do it.
[2577.5s] Not just like a carrier pigeon or anything.
[2579.6s] Yeah.
[2580.7s] Is, when was the last time you saw Alydin?
[2583.6s] I haven't seen her since we were in the clearing
[2586.7s] and there was a tree and-
[2589.0s] Wait, clearing in a tree?
[2590.0s] That sounds real familiar.
[2590.9s] That does sound real familiar.
[2591.9s] Did you see a giant toy monster?
[2594.5s] No.
[2596.0s] All right, well, that's some new info then.
[2598.0s] Okay.
[2600.3s] Also the moon's like purple.
[2602.8s] Oh, I hadn't even noticed.
[2603.9s] Where are we?
[2606.2s] Yeah.
[2607.3s] This is magic.
[2608.7s] Yeah, I have to assume it was daytime, now it's night.
[2612.2s] I was in a field and there was nothing
[2614.0s] and then there's everbanes in a field
[2616.9s] and none of it really makes sense.
[2619.4s] And I haven't seen Alydin.
[2620.9s] I don't know where she is.
[2622.3s] Or any of the other kids.
[2624.7s] Okay.
[2625.6s] So-
[2626.9s] Bon, when you've lived here your entire life,
[2630.8s] did things like this happen normally?
[2632.2s] Yeah.
[2633.0s] It seems like in the last decade
[2634.4s] or even in the last couple of years,
[2635.7s] these kind of things are just popping up left and right.
[2638.4s] Never.
[2639.3s] It was totally normal growing up here
[2641.2s] and then things got like bad
[2643.2s] because of the corruption and the schools closing,
[2645.6s] but nothing.
[2648.2s] Magic.
[2649.0s] Nothing.
[2649.8s] Nothing weird.
[2650.7s] Nothing unexplainable.
[2651.6s] No portals or-
[2654.6s] Right.
[2655.4s] Monsters or no, just normal, nice, quiet, normal.
[2660.9s] Okay.
[2662.3s] Well, do you hear the banjo?
[2664.2s] I do hear that.
[2665.2s] Okay, good.
[2666.0s] We're all on the same page with that.
[2667.2s] Okay.
[2668.1s] And there's like, so I'm running and then I'm in the woods
[2671.9s] and then there's a path.
[2673.8s] Yes.
[2675.3s] That like reveals itself as you go on it?
[2677.5s] Yeah.
[2678.4s] Okay, yeah.
[2679.2s] And then now this, like that we're on,
[2680.3s] it's like, so people live here?
[2685.1s] It's-
[2686.0s] I don't know about that.
[2687.5s] I think people maybe get suspended here.
[2693.1s] I don't know if there's living here.
[2695.6s] Okay, so how do we find the kids?
[2696.8s] It's a great question.
[2697.7s] I mean, if the banjo man cometh and take at the kids,
[2700.8s] then perhaps we follow.
[2702.0s] Wait, bizarre.
[2703.4s] Try your magic message.
[2705.4s] Oh, you're right.
[2706.2s] Now that we're like here.
[2707.7s] I was just thinking that and I was like,
[2708.9s] I can't see.
[2709.8s] This magic message.
[2712.2s] Yep.
[2713.0s] I'm going to cast another sending spell
[2717.4s] and send out a message and say,
[2720.5s] Alydin, I hope you're alive.
[2721.8s] And if you are, where are you?
[2723.9s] We're well.
[2727.2s] Cool, but.
[2728.2s] I hope this email finds you well.
[2729.8s] Right.
[2730.7s] I'm not on a different,
[2732.2s] I don't know if I'm on a different plane or not yet.
[2734.4s] I assume.
[2735.9s] You assume.
[2736.8s] Yeah, so the only time it could fail
[2740.1s] is if you're dead or on a different plane.
[2742.2s] So I send out that message saying,
[2744.7s] Alydin, are you here?
[2746.7s] And if you are, can you hear the banjo?
[2751.4s] And if not, where are you?
[2754.6s] Can you hear the banjo?
[2756.4s] We leave the three of you
[2758.5s] and we're back in Alydin's room
[2762.2s] and you're sitting on the bed doing your thinking.
[2766.8s] Like Winnie the Pooh on a log.
[2768.4s] Absolutely.
[2769.2s] Yeah, think, think, think.
[2771.8s] As you're thinking and you're holding
[2773.7s] some of these things that are yours,
[2776.3s] but not yours.
[2778.8s] You hear a faint,
[2782.2s] I haven't really determined how it's heard,
[2784.0s] but you hear a faint voice
[2787.6s] and it is Bazaar's voice.
[2789.2s] Alydin, are you here?
[2791.2s] And if you are, can you hear the banjo?
[2795.9s] And if not, where are you?
[2798.8s] Would I know how to respond?
[2801.9s] Would I think I'm going crazy?
[2802.9s] You can respond to this message.
[2804.5s] No, but would I know how?
[2806.1s] Oh, gotcha.
[2807.0s] Would I like?
[2807.8s] I think you just have to speak back, right?
[2809.5s] Is this something we've discussed?
[2810.8s] Do I think I'm hearing things?
[2812.6s] Am I going crazy?
[2813.4s] I don't think I've brought up this spell to you.
[2817.0s] But you do know it is me.
[2819.9s] Yeah, I can.
[2821.1s] And you hear it in your head.
[2822.2s] So I just say, just think your response.
[2826.3s] Bazaar, is that you?
[2831.1s] Where are you?
[2833.0s] I'm in my house.
[2835.5s] I don't know.
[2836.6s] I don't know.
[2837.4s] No, there's no banjo.
[2838.3s] I don't know where I am.
[2839.2s] I'm probably thinking, well, I don't know how many.
[2842.0s] There's a character limit here.
[2844.8s] So it's panicked and I say, no banjo.
[2850.2s] I'm in my house.
[2851.6s] No banjo.
[2852.4s] These are very useful pieces of information for me.
[2855.3s] You're really unlocking the puzzle.
[2858.0s] Bazaar, do you wait a moment
[2859.5s] as you're waiting for a response
[2861.6s] and then you hear Alydin's voice come back
[2863.9s] as it just did.
[2866.3s] And then you, out of the corner of your eye,
[2869.2s] the path that had curved is now straightened back out again
[2872.3s] and the sound of the banjo is much louder.
[2877.4s] Well, Alydin can't hear the banjo.
[2880.1s] They said they're in their house.
[2883.9s] Oh, I was pretty sure she didn't have one.
[2885.9s] Definitely doesn't have a house.
[2888.3s] Yeah, sounded very panicked.
[2891.6s] Filled up a lot of the words in response with,
[2895.8s] Yeah, no, that sounds right.
[2897.6s] Yeah.
[2899.0s] But she's alive.
[2900.1s] She's here.
[2901.0s] Yeah, and she's here.
[2901.9s] She's here somewhere.
[2903.1s] Silver linings.
[2904.1s] Okay, can't hear the banjo,
[2905.5s] so we need to go that way.
[2908.4s] Away from the banjo?
[2909.6s] I don't know.
[2910.4s] This path was curving to the right
[2912.2s] from the direction you came.
[2915.0s] That's right, Russ.
[2915.8s] Yeah, from the direction you came
[2918.1s] and you were running from.
[2920.2s] Bad stuff.
[2921.1s] Bad stuff, so.
[2923.3s] We have to go back to the bad stuff.
[2925.8s] It's entirely possible,
[2927.3s] but I don't know how this place works.
[2930.6s] The path wanted us to find you.
[2934.8s] Oh.
[2935.9s] That's what I'm gleaning from this situation
[2938.6s] because why else would it,
[2940.2s] it hadn't curved. Oh, it curved
[2941.2s] and then I was there.
[2942.0s] Yeah, then you show up.
[2945.0s] Okay, I mean, do we,
[2947.5s] I guess we trust the path
[2951.2s] are words I never thought I would be saying?
[2954.2s] It is an intentional path.
[2955.5s] There's been markers along the way with runes.
[2958.2s] I cleared some out.
[2959.1s] There's actually stone under the overgrowth,
[2961.0s] so this,
[2963.4s] as unnatural as it seems
[2964.7s] with it just kind of like everything parting,
[2967.3s] it's the direction that seems the most reasonable.
[2970.2s] There's some reason to the rhyme.
[2972.4s] Okay, I mean, I certainly don't know any better,
[2974.9s] so we kind of just have to pick a direction
[2976.8s] and go at this point, right?
[2978.4s] Yeah.
[2979.7s] Well, let's trust the path.
[2983.4s] Start heading down the path again.
[2986.7s] You continue.
[2987.6s] Can we roll a vibe check?
[2988.9s] Yeah, you continue down the path,
[2992.8s] the sound of the banjo getting louder again,
[2995.5s] as you progress forward.
[2998.5s] Back in the room with Alydin,
[3000.0s] you hear footsteps downstairs
[3001.9s] as the, as the,
[3003.7s] your parents are cleaning up after the day.
[3009.6s] You're sitting there with the moonlight coming in
[3012.4s] across your bed.
[3015.4s] What do you, what do we leave you
[3017.1s] as you have just received this message from Bazaar?
[3019.1s] Do you don't hear anything come back?
[3021.9s] Well, I sit and I wait a minute
[3023.4s] because I'm wondering if this is like discourse,
[3026.4s] like is it a back and forth?
[3028.2s] Apparently not.
[3030.2s] And then I like out,
[3033.8s] like I'm excited.
[3035.4s] I'm like, I am not alone and I'm not crazy.
[3038.9s] And like something is wrong
[3041.7s] because I feel like the longer I sat there
[3044.1s] and thought about it,
[3045.5s] and like was holding my toys
[3047.5s] and like looking at my room
[3049.0s] and being like,
[3052.6s] like, would it be so bad?
[3054.7s] Like, but then hearing Bazaar's voice
[3058.3s] like snap me back to it.
[3060.2s] And so I jump up off my bed
[3062.4s] and I look out my window
[3063.6s] to see if I can see any sort of
[3066.6s] like, like it's not a mountain.
[3069.1s] It's not a hill.
[3069.9s] Are there a lot of trees?
[3071.7s] Is there a path?
[3072.8s] Is there, are there other houses around
[3075.3s] that if I do get a message from Bazaar,
[3079.5s] I will have something more than ums and ahs.
[3082.1s] Yeah, some sort of landmark to like, yeah.
[3084.3s] Now I'm in like problem solving mode,
[3086.6s] not necessarily scared kid mode.
[3089.4s] Yeah, not shit's weird,
[3090.4s] but like, how do I get out of here?
[3092.1s] Yeah, like I, and I can be useful.
[3095.0s] Like, I'm not gonna passively sit and wait
[3097.8s] and let somebody solve my problem for me
[3099.6s] and rescue me.
[3101.0s] No, like, I'm not gonna fall into it.
[3104.1s] It's a trap.
[3105.2s] It's a trap.
[3107.4s] You look out, you look out the window
[3109.5s] and like you look to the direction
[3111.7s] where the man had told you
[3115.4s] like where in the direction the school was
[3117.8s] and you're looking, trying to focus on anything
[3120.4s] and you can't really see anything there.
[3122.3s] Like all you see is wide open field
[3124.6s] all around the house.
[3126.2s] Like driveway?
[3127.8s] No.
[3128.7s] You see the white.
[3129.6s] You see the white picket fence
[3131.2s] around the perimeter of the house.
[3133.1s] And then it's just field.
[3134.0s] But it's just field.
[3135.1s] Rolling troop of bards.
[3136.9s] As far as the eye can see.
[3137.8s] Anyone slow dancing?
[3142.1s] Like there's no street.
[3143.2s] There's no like the way he had described it
[3146.4s] as like, oh, you just go down the school over there.
[3148.6s] It was down the street.
[3149.4s] Where the hell is this parade gonna be
[3151.6s] if there's no street?
[3153.3s] It's a good question.
[3154.2s] So I think there was that initial like,
[3159.2s] like problem solving.
[3160.5s] Like yes, I'm like, I'm gonna be useful.
[3163.2s] I'm gonna give some information.
[3164.4s] I'm gonna figure out what I can tell them.
[3166.7s] And then kind of a bit of a crushing feeling
[3171.5s] to look out and see nothing.
[3175.0s] Just field.
[3178.3s] Like, well, shit.
[3188.6s] Dumbgeons and Dragons, season four, episode 16.
[3192.4s] Starring Amy More as Alydin.
[3194.9s] Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane.
[3197.4s] Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave.
[3199.7s] Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard.
[3202.0s] And Russ More as your dungeon master.
[3204.4s] Dialogue editing and sound design
[3206.0s] of today's episode is by Russ More.
[3208.3s] Music is from Epidemic Sound.
[3210.2s] And sound effects are from Epidemic Sound
[3212.4s] and Boom Library.
[3213.6s] Our amazing cover art is by Matt Garbutt.
[3216.2s] And we'd like to say a huge thank you
[3218.0s] to our supporting producers,
[3219.7s] including Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak,
[3222.4s] Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
[3224.4s] Ongorong Kiersen, Perry Matey,
[3226.5s] Old School Gamer D, Craig Zeiss, and L.A. Branton.
[3230.3s] We'd love if you joined us today
[3232.1s] at patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast
[3234.6s] for the amazing community,
[3236.0s] all the bonus content and so much more.
[3238.8s] Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast
[3241.0s] will see you over there.
[3242.2s] But until then, have a great week
[3244.1s] and we'll talk to you soon.
[3245.7s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.