Dumbgeons and Dragons begins in a moment.
Kavlaran and Bizard, you're making your way through a forest path.
You've been led by Thane up to a point, but he got called back because another child appears to have been missing.
So he went back to investigate that and since you gave you as clear directions as he could to the clearing that they know of
where Bonwyn and Alydin were presumed to have gone missing.
You are weaving through this path and the thicket is getting dense and it's encroaching on the path that it's going around you.
But up ahead you see that there is a bright light, a bright sunlight coming down
and what appears to be a clearing opening in this thick forest.
Is there an obvious parting in the trees above or is this supernatural?
As you get closer, it does appear that the forest itself is clearing this opening.
So you step up to it and you poke your head through and there's this almost like meadow, tall grass.
It's blowing in the wind in this circular pattern of trees that is now wide open.
On the other side of this clearing you see the trees look very similar on your side until they get to the other side
and then they get more gnarled and like, gangled isn't the word, withered.
Yeah, gnarled and withered.
You step out into it and the wind begins to pick up and you hear echoes of...
With arms wide open...
You hear echoes of Scott Staff who's calling you forward.
How could you resist?
I'm there, yeah.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast and I'm your dungeon master Russ More, he, him.
Also with me today is Amy More as Alydin, she, her.
Alydin's got some common sense that Amy herself does not have.
Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane, she, her.
Probably like pauses on the stairs until the making out starts, then she's out.
Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, he, him.
I'm wise, I'm just a little dumb.
And Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard, he, him.
I'm smart, not very wise.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast and you can join us today for a 7-day free trial at patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast
where we have an entire other podcast for you and an amazing community that you can be a part of like the second you join.
We want you to come check it out, just give it a little taste.
Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast will see you over there.
And now, fuck it, let's play.
You make your way out into this clearing.
And Bizarre, you, you, you step, take a couple steps out and you trip on something.
You look down and there is a wooden toy that you trip over.
I'm going to bend down and pick up the toy and look at Kav's and say, I guess a child's been this way.
So, I mean, it certainly seems that way.
The trees don't look fun though.
No, those over there definitely don't.
Yeah.
You know, if children are disappearing and something looks ominous and creepy, that's likely the way to go.
So, yeah, 100%.
Yeah, that's the right way.
Yeah, I guess.
So let's go there.
Yeah, let's do it.
And I like slowly like pull my little war hammer from behind my back.
Like, how little is it?
I mean, it's a normal size.
Oh, OK.
You did do it as if you were just being demure.
Your movements were like, as if it was six inches long.
Like you had a big one and then you had like a little one.
The up close one.
Right. It's your sneaky war hammer and your loud.
It's just one of those like clubs.
It's got your stamp on it for your job.
Saved so much time.
Yeah.
Cautiously stepping out into the clearing.
Make a wisdom saving throw.
OK.
One other thing I want to do is do I recognize if this toy belongs to any specific child?
So, yeah, I didn't really describe it.
You pick it up and it looks like a train or at least a portion of a train, like a wooden train set.
OK, trains exist in our world.
Are we talking caboose?
Are we talking engines?
Sometimes I have questions about whether trains exist.
I always.
Trains exist in this world.
I really like trains.
They're going to exist in this world.
OK, I'm for it.
You have to take boats up rivers to get places, but trains exist in this world.
The infrastructure for trains isn't as good as it should be, but they're getting there.
Yeah, you take a look at it.
It looks like it's well worn.
It doesn't specifically stand out to any any of the children you've seen around the town.
It's most likely a child's toy.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, and to the point, do I actually recognize it as a train or is this like I don't know what this is?
That is a good question.
I feel like you're worldly though, aren't you?
You read so many books.
One of them had to have a train app.
Well, I mean, surely at the school for magic and dance.
Dance and battle?
Yes.
What is it? Magic, fighting and dance?
Burnhardt Swans.
Magic, fighting and dance.
Yes.
Surely there was a book about train.
So yeah, to that point, you do recognize it as a train.
Sick.
You don't recognize it specifically as a toy you've seen any of the children.
Sure, it's not like Alydin's bucket.
Exactly.
Well, I know that one.
That's Gerald's.
Classic Gerald.
These are so interesting.
Look, Gerald's have to start his children too.
That's true.
And just so everyone knows, Gerald starts with a J in this case.
I thought it was a G.
That's a pretty rough clarification.
I got a 12 on my wisdom save.
I got a 17.
Interesting.
That's not the way I thought it was going to go.
I'm wise.
I'm just a little dumb.
I'm smart, not very wise.
Together we're a great team.
So you're examining this toy and you're taking a few more steps.
Both of you kind of like trip over some more toys.
And like as the clearing of the grass gets a little more sparse towards the middle of this,
you notice there's toys littered all over this clearing.
Cav, as you're kind of taking this scene, picking up a couple as you're going,
I mean, this isn't looking great.
You look over at Bazaar and he is now like eyes locked on these gnarled trees on the other side.
Just like straight walking.
And he's even picked up his pace.
You see him kind of like roll his ankle on a couple of toys.
It looks like he is...
Various Legos.
I know this is creepy, but I'm imagining like he steps and this thing's got a wheel and it's like whoop.
It's a little slapsticky.
And then it's like they're marbles or...
Mr. Bean style.
It's very physical.
But he is like locked on these trees making his way forward.
It looks like he's under an influence of sorts.
All right.
And I kind of start to hustle over and call it up.
Bazaar, are you good?
There's no response.
I don't think he's good.
Okay.
And I just like hustle over right behind him sort of thing.
So I'm like not like grabbing him, but like right there.
So like if I need to pull him back from something, I can.
Okay.
You are actually following a child and you like holding on to the back of their shirt.
They can't feel you holding them, but you got him.
Yeah.
You got him.
Yeah.
So, you know, whether you touch his shoulder or not, like he's not acknowledging you and he's walking towards these trees.
And, you know, as you're getting closer, the winds start to pick up.
This doesn't really affect you, Bazaar, but Kav, like the winds are picking up.
The grasses are like whipping at your legs as you're going by and you hear like clattering sounds behind you.
That's always unsettling.
I'll look behind me.
You look behind you and you see movement in the grass as these toys that you've been tripping on and like kicking aside are all kind of starting to come together and build into this creature that is all of these.
It's like a toy skeleton.
All of these torsion of toys behind you.
And it like draws this hammer, like almost a mirror of the hammer that you have on.
So it's little.
I knew it.
It's a tiny little person hammer.
Oh yeah, it's a tiny little person hammer.
Yeah.
And it's now charging towards you specifically.
All right.
I like grab Bazaar's shoulder and like roughly kind of try to pull him out of whatever he's in.
While I'm like also trying to protect us both as this thing's rushing towards.
I just push Bazaar out of the way and then leave.
I push him towards the beast, not run.
I trip him and then I'm out.
Alydin.
Yeah.
We left you.
You were previously in the back room of Bazaar's.
Yeah.
You'd found a small puzzle box that felt hollow but quite heavy.
It had runes and letters on it.
And you had exited through a back door that you had never really been through.
You'd assumed it just went to an alleyway.
But you exited into this dark space.
And that's where we find you now is you are in this dark void.
And there's a...
Just like always.
All right.
There's...
Alone and dark.
Yeah.
I like it.
Some of the space begins to come into view for you.
There's like a candlelight or what you can presume is a candlelight down at the end of a long hallway.
Well, I'm going to walk toward the only light that's there.
I look down.
Do I have my bucket?
Yes.
You still have your bucket.
I think we said you maintained your bucket in the last one.
I want to rummage through my bucket to find the matches and candle that I have in there.
And I want to light myself a candle.
Okay.
Alydin's got some common sense that Amy herself does not have.
I light a candle.
That's the nice thing about D&D is you can really stretch out.
Right?
What a fantasy world.
I can be my best self here.
I want to do that.
Yeah.
You light the candle and it gives off some light around you.
It's not as bright as you would otherwise assume it is.
You can make out just rough walls.
You are down this hallway and you look back and the door that you came in was gone.
Of course it is.
I do want to walk toward the what looks like candle.
Like is it flickering or is it just a steady glow?
Yeah.
I love a steady glow.
That's unnatural.
No.
It does appear to be flickering.
Like there's some, not like a big wind, but there is some air movement in the space where it exists.
Okay.
I'm going to cautiously walk towards it.
But I want to hold my candle out and I want to kind of inspect the walls to see if there is a writing.
Are there bloody claw prints?
Are there fingernails stuck in the wall?
That's a good question.
These are the things I want to know.
Roll investigation.
Oh God.
Dare I try that dice I gave me in 20 last time?
No, because what if it gives me 20 again on an investigation?
No.
Forget that.
Okay.
I'm going to go with these ones.
17.
Oh, you moved that for me.
Oh, okay.
21.
Okay.
That was smart.
Nothing but fingernails.
Oh my God.
I just got the worst visual.
My mind can conjure too good a picture.
It's like an old floral wall print, but the floral is all fingernails.
Yeah.
No, you bring your candle up to it.
Truly awful.
You bring the candle up to it and it is like it's old wallpaper, like old worn wallpaper.
There isn't really a pattern to it.
It looks like it's just a faded blue, blue green.
But there's something familiar about it to you.
You can't put your finger on it exactly.
I ponder on that as I continue to carefully moving my candle along the wall, along the
floor in front of me, because I don't want to trip on toys.
As above, so below.
I'm going to go real, real slow.
Yep.
The floor, the closer you get to the light at the end of this hallway becomes more like
old hardwood and it starts to creak under your feet.
You continue to make your way down and nothing else really changes.
Everything kind of comes more into focus.
And as you get to what is this doorway that you've been walking towards, you
look through and the light of this candle is illuminating what looks like an older
kitchen.
There's a long wooden table in the middle.
It looks quite cozy.
And there is that same familiarity you felt like there's a warmth to this kitchen.
There's cupboards up along the walls.
There's three chairs all around this table.
And then there are placings set for lunch or a dinner.
Would you say that this place, like the familiarity, like, am I getting like a
homesick feeling?
Is it, or is it just like one of those like nagging, like, I've been here
before type feelings?
I would say probably more a homesick.
Hmm.
Don't make me cry today.
Do it.
Yeah, I think first, Alydin looks, sorry, you said the candle was on the table.
Yes.
And the table is set for like, set for three.
Set for three, yeah.
I want to look around to see if there are any doors in this kitchen or is this
like a dead end?
You're just poking your head kind of through just to see if you can see.
Yeah.
So you look in, there's a window above the, above a sink or like a sink
basin and you look around and it looks like there's one egress, which looks
like you can't quite make out it's a little darker through there, but it
looks like a hallway leading to another room.
So it's not a closed space that you're walking into.
Okay.
But it is empty of any other people?
There doesn't appear to be any people in there as of this moment.
So Alydin cautiously walks in and like any 14 year old starts to poke around
and look in cabinets and under the sink and just pretty much, if there's a
knife on the table, like are there cutlery?
Are there cutlery?
Are there be cutlery?
There is cutlery, knife, fork, spoon, cha-cha-cha.
I want to just kind of slowly put a knife into my bucket as I continue to peruse
and see what the hell is this place?
Yeah.
You, yeah, you're pulling cupboards open and you're, you're seeing dishware
and glasses, pulling drawers and you find the utensils and the junk drawer
and all that sort of things.
And these are like full, like this is like a functional.
Fully functional.
There's a junk drawer.
What do I see in the junk drawer?
There's a string, a needle and yarn.
There's what else?
Old sauce packets.
Yeah.
Takeout menus.
Yeah.
Ramen packets.
It just says flavor.
Yeah.
Well, I want to take the sauce packets.
Yep.
100%.
That could be like, that's just pocket sand, but with flavor.
Absolutely.
I want to take the string and the needle and the thread and the like the crafty kind of
like what, like I could do something with it.
Like useful stuff.
I might need this.
Yeah.
And if there are also any other candles in the junk drawer, which is where people
might usually keep them in the event of.
You find a couple candles as you're looking through one full and one like half
burned down.
I'll take both of those as I continue to snoop.
And as you continue to look through the space, you hear footsteps coming from
down the other hallway.
Am I in line of that hallway or am I like, can I be seen by the person or
thing walking through the hallway?
Not at this moment.
Okay.
Is there a cabinet I could fit in?
Yeah, you could probably fit under the sink basin.
All right.
I'm under there.
Really quiet.
Really quiet, like sneaky.
Great.
You hear you pull the doors closed and then the footsteps are getting closer
and it's one pair.
Sounds like it's a woman wearing high heels clacking down the hallway.
They move over to the table and you hear them moving the cutlery and there's
a pause.
And then they move to one of the drawers and pull out a knife and go set
it back at the table.
My heart is racing.
I'm like, oh shit.
I made sure to close everything.
I'm sure of it.
But then I took a knife.
They're going to miss the knife, stupid Alydin.
And then you hear them move back towards the hallway and they call down the
hall and it is a woman's voice.
And you hear her call, Alydin.
Alydin, dinner's just about ready.
Is this character going to talk a lot?
Do you want Carla to be a woman?
I think every character is going to be a little bit voice cracky today.
All right.
Can I see, is there a crack or have I shot myself in?
There's a bit of a crack but you're not able to see much through it without
propping the door open a little bit.
It's got the child safety clips on it.
Oh yeah.
Damn it.
I'm never getting out of here.
You live in there.
Damn it.
Okay.
Well, I am sweating.
I think she's calling me.
Me?
And so I, no, I say nothing.
I'm like, crazy woman, I don't know who you're talking about.
No one else is here.
After a moment, you hear another set of footsteps, heavier footsteps.
And they come into the space and you hear them talking.
You can't quite make out what they're saying.
And the woman then says, have you seen Alydin?
The man's voice says, no, I haven't seen her.
She must be out playing right now.
And they continue getting dinner ready.
I sit tight.
I'm confused, kind of upset, kind of want to go out there.
But I'm too, I feel like I'm too skeptical to think that this is a real thing.
And I'm just going to wait because nothing good ever happens to Alydin.
And so nothing good can come of this right now.
Welcome to the middle, everybody.
Oh, Jesus.
We definitely weren't just talking about something totally unrelated to the middle.
No, not at all.
Eight seconds ago, we're here in the middle and we are all focused and ready.
That's right.
100%.
We've totally planned everything that we're going to do for this and future middles.
Oh, wow.
We really got to it.
We are planning everything right now.
We're really back from all these sicknesses.
We're hitting the ground running, as they say.
110%.
Who wants to kick off this one with all the things we just talked about?
Okay, well, we're back.
So that's exciting.
We are, I was going to say we're back.
No, I already said that.
That was part of the fun.
This is now the second episode you've listened to since we've been back.
Russ was saying that our schedule is like on track for shit.
Yeah.
So we should be around.
And that's exciting.
And part of that schedule is cyberpunk season two, which you haven't even listened to season one yet.
But you're going to like it.
You're going to like it.
You're going to love it.
We already know.
That's why we're already rolling into season two.
Right.
So there's no downtime between seasons like there usually is with single series that we do.
Ah, yes.
But yeah, it's going to be a great time.
And I don't know what else we have going on.
What about, is it a secret?
Like the changes to the things in Patreon?
Is that a secret?
Let's hang on to that.
That's a secret.
Hey, what about business?
What about marketing?
No, that's a secret.
That's also a secret.
Go back 15 seconds and skip forward 30.
Or just know, just know that there's a couple of fun announcements.
Couple of fun announcements coming.
Secrets.
Gotta make some internal announcements first before we start dropping bombs.
I'm always trying to give away the secrets.
I'm so sorry, you guys.
These seem like little special moments where it's just like, hey, let me tell you something.
But I can't tell you.
Here's a secret.
It's not a secret.
But if you become a patron at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, you get an episode dedicated to you that public knowledge, including this evening's patron or this afternoon's or this morning's.
I don't know when you're listening.
Generic time of day's patron, Tiffany Parrott.
Thanks Tiffany.
Thank you Tiffany.
Can I share a fun fact about the name Tiffany that sounds fake but is real?
Love, go.
OK, so there's this thing in writing, I guess, called the Tiffany paradox, which is that the name Tiffany, when would you think that name kind of was popular and originated?
90s.
I was going to say like 1986?
Late 70s.
Early 1900s?
So the name Tiffany is in the Bible.
Really?
But if even if you're writing something like set way back when, you can't use that name, even though it's accurate, because we all associate it with like, it's a very modern name.
It doesn't feel like it fits.
Yeah.
Anyway, I hope that's a true fact that I heard on a podcast about the name Tiffany.
Tiffany, correct me if that is total BS.
Now it's on two podcasts.
It's fact.
Yep.
I have a question.
Is it a podcast about the name Tiffany or is it a podcast about names and that one just happened to come up?
I think neither.
I think it was a podcast with an author who like brought it up in the context of like that paradox, how they were going to use the name and their editor was like, you can't use this because it makes people think of a modern time.
Dates them in a certain time.
And your book is not set in a modern time.
Fascinating.
Interesting.
You know, someone's got to break that barrier though.
That's true.
That's right.
Our next Bible adventure is going to be filled with Tiffany's.
Or even like, let's do a middle ages show and it'll be wall to wall Tiffany's.
Absolutely.
Good episode title.
Oops All Tiffany's.
Sorry, I feel like I stole that from you.
No, I was just going to say wall to wall Tiffany's.
That's a good name of the episode.
But Oops All Tiffany's.
Well, thank you, Tiffany.
You can, you can join Tiffany over in the Patreon discord community by joining us at
patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
And we hope to see you over there.
It's a great time.
We have lots of friends.
Now it's just trailing off awkwardly.
It's great.
Definitive statement.
You'll like it.
Yeah, you will.
Like you'll like the rest of this episode if we ever let you get back to it.
Nah.
What about now?
Is this just awkwardly talking about it?
Okay.
Bonwyn.
We find you at the top of the stairs of Everpains because that's where your bedroom
was.
And there's flickering candlelight coming from downstairs.
There's the sound of soft music playing sounding from outside.
And unless you say otherwise, you start to make your way down.
And you come out into the forge at Everpains.
And your parents are dancing in candlelight.
There's some traveling bards outside and they just are having a moment.
Well, that's lovely.
I mean, Bonwyn would stop.
Collaborate and listen.
Yes.
No, I'm not sorry.
We talked about this yesterday.
Stop.
Collaborate with the bards to allow her parents to have this kind of like beautiful moment
even though part of her is like ugh.
But also it's like, it's nice, you know.
It's nice to have parents that love each other and like, yeah, so probably like,
you know, pauses on the stairs just to like, till the making out starts.
Then she's out.
Yeah.
No.
And it is a sweet moment.
And it goes on for this, the length of this song.
And then you hear the bards.
They're making their way down the street.
They finish their dance.
They do have a little kiss and you see them talking sweetly to each other.
And then there's a little creak of the stairs and both of them look up and see you
and they call you down.
And I go to the warm embrace of my family.
Yeah.
Sorry, Alydin.
It's okay.
I'm in a cupboard, which I mean just four.
Of course you are.
Pretty standard.
You put yourself there.
I'm just saying.
Look, when you go to one thing.
I'm in a Coraline situation.
Are they going to try to sell buttons on my eyes?
I don't know.
But I'm happy for you and your happy family.
Or whatever.
Yeah.
And your dad calls you over and he says, Bonwyn, Bonwyn, I made you something.
And he goes over to the forge and grabs, from what you can see without him actually
showing you, like it's a wrought iron piece of something.
And he comes around and shows it to you.
And it's this very intricate wrought iron reindeer.
And he hands it to you.
He says, I've been working on this for a while and I thought you'd really like it.
And he hands it over to you.
And it's sharp and jagged and has a lot of the pieces that he makes are.
But it is quite an amazing piece that he's put together.
In this situation, spatially, like am I little?
Am I kid size?
Yes.
I assumed.
But I mean, I'm going to take it.
Thanks, Dad.
And like look at it.
Because again, I've probably been, if not already training with him, then
watching him work.
So I'm probably interested in like the functionality of it or like how he did it
in addition to just getting, you know, cool toy.
Yeah.
Maybe this is my inspiration for intricate things.
I don't know.
Yeah.
And you're looking at it.
Or it's a poison thing.
It's probably something terrible.
In this moment, I love it.
I know how Russ works, so.
Yeah.
It's not our first rodeo.
Yeah.
Sweet moments that turn sad.
Yep.
Never trust the child.
Never trust the woman in the woods.
The witches.
Exactly.
Both witches.
That's exactly correct.
He hands it to you and he's looking at your face to see, you know, the excitement
on it, hopefully.
And he kind of pats you on your head and then turns around and goes back to work.
And it's late, so you don't assume he's going to be going back to work.
But your mom moves upstairs in the space and he begins hammering down on
whatever he's working on.
Even though, yeah, I mean, it's late at night.
Probably tired, but I'm still going to stay and watch, like, what he's doing.
Kids never want to go to bed.
No.
Got to stay up.
What's happening?
But all I want is to go to bed.
I know.
Things really change.
Yeah.
It's a flip.
Yeah.
You don't know where that shift happens, but one day you wake up and, like,
I'm just going to bed all the time.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You peek over his shoulder and see what he's working on.
And he's working on this.
It looks like a long sword.
The handle is very intricately done.
There's a coat of arms on it that you don't really recognize.
But he's working way hard on it.
Like, he's beginning to, like, buckets of sweat are pouring down.
And it looks like he's, like, he's gone into this, like, trance state
as he's hammering away at this blade.
Can I insight that to see if that is, like, his normal, in his flow state,
of, like, working at a repetitive task he's done before,
or if, like, something weird's happened?
Yeah.
Please roll an insight.
Take your pick.
I can't.
Oh.
Let's see what happens.
Oh, my god.
It's the OG Theodice.
Yep.
I'm not.
That sure is.
So that's a four.
Four.
Your insight is a minus two?
Sure is.
Wow.
Well.
Just one more.
Yeah.
We're just going to put that to the side.
Oh, and Wilson's playing at the table today.
It's amazing.
He just hasn't had a chair yet.
He's here.
Wow.
We have an empty chair here.
I've been thinking about that since we actually started recording.
Of course once everything's set up.
I'm like, why are we three on this side?
We've left Kyle all by himself over there and Russ at the head of the table.
Why did we do two and two?
Because we're saving that one for Owen Wilson.
That's right.
Like we always do.
We should be here any minute.
Just in case he arrives.
We always invite him.
Wow.
All right, neighbors.
Let's just go open that door and see who's here.
So with that four insight check, what do I know?
Nothing.
You've never seen.
Is that even your father?
Yep.
Who knows?
Who am I?
I don't know.
You something seems off.
You don't know what it is though.
Like it's not your even with a four.
Like this isn't your dad's normal pace.
Like he is.
Is he a man possessed?
Yeah.
Like there is something that stands out as odd about this.
Okay.
Maybe just like dad.
Are you dad?
Are you okay?
And like hammer held up as he's going down and like stops
and just like places it down on the bench that's beside him.
Like pulls the blade and he turns around and the blades like red hot.
And he doesn't look like your dad anymore.
Like his face is like twisted in a sense.
And his hair is beginning to get like frazzled and frayed.
And he is moving towards you and you're suddenly not childlike anymore.
Like you are yourself in this space.
And he's like becomes more animalistic.
Like he is like hunched over and like coming towards you.
Great.
I'm going to throw that sharp caribou.
What did you say it was?
Reindeer?
That's the same thing.
Similar.
I'm going to chuck that at him and run like for the door.
Like the front door.
Okay.
You want to make a ranged attack roll.
So roll plus dexterity.
A ranged deer attack.
Your dex is great.
Oh right.
What am I doing?
Ranged attack.
That's a 10.
So 60.
60.
Yeah.
So you whip this thing at this creature.
This isn't your dad anymore.
You're not dad.
You're a dad mimic.
Yeah.
You whip this thing at this creature who's coming towards you and it like impales in its chest.
God.
It lets out this like guttural groan and you bolt for the door and throw it open and you're
in this like wide open field with like all of these brambled like thorny patches
that like catch on your pants as you walk out into them and you turn around and look
and like there's this wooden shack and you see this creature like pull this reindeer
out of its chest and throw it to the ground and now it's like running on all fours trying
to get towards you.
Oh jeepers.
Is the door?
Yeah.
Am I still at the door?
Yeah.
You're like a couple steps out.
You could close it if you want.
Yeah.
Okay.
Close the door.
Not going to do much, but you're right.
Probably a good idea.
And then I mean I'm just going to run.
Okay.
Because there's nothing else to do at this point.
Great.
Back in the clearing.
Oh boy.
Yeah.
That's you guys.
Oh yeah.
So you have like push Bazaar down.
I tried to like grab his shoulder and spin him back towards me so he could look at
this weird toy monster that is now formed.
Okay.
So you're.
And hopefully break whatever.
Jostling him in such a way not to try and cause him harm or anything.
Maybe he's probably going to trip over some toys, but.
Yeah.
He has been this entire time.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Just in your trance state we'll say that you do trip.
You fall down Bazaar.
And it does for even the briefest moment break that, break this trance that you're
in.
You give a flash and you see this homunculus of a creature charging towards you, which
is enough to like shake you completely from whatever trance you were in.
You look around in the space.
I mean for you, you remember being on the other side of the clearing and now
you're like you're really close to these gnarled trees, this creature running
towards you and Kav.
You look back to where you were walking and there is this one tree that has
caught your attention, has this huge opening in it, which is where you were
previously following him to.
And Kav now with hammer drawn is ready to fight this creature.
So let's roll initiative.
Sick.
Fight, fight, fight.
You guys this is so fun.
It's so fun.
That's an eight.
Having the best time.
It's so fun.
We've been doing it for like ten minutes.
Yeah.
So Kav, eight.
Bazaar.
Eight.
Twenty one.
Bazaar.
And then this creature.
Kav's like, wake up.
You need to fight first.
You're up.
Okay.
Like you fell on Lego.
Like I bet you are ready to punch something.
I know I would be.
Yeah.
I stepped on Lego just Friday.
So it's really hitting home for me.
Okay.
So Bazaar, you're startled out of this trance.
Just getting your bearings.
You are first up.
So, I mean, feel free to have a brief moment with Kav to try and figure things out if
you need to.
But yeah, you're first initiative.
Yeah.
Come at it.
I'll clean them up.
Shit.
Wait.
Where are we?
Oh shit.
Kat.
Yeah.
I mean, we're like the bad trees are there.
This thing's here.
We got a problem.
Run to the hole in the tree.
Sure.
Yeah.
Cool.
Just fog cloud and stand up.
And like, so the area, 20 foot area from where I'm centered is like heavily obscured,
but keeping a bead on the direction of where that was.
I'm going to grab Kav's hand and be like, this way.
Okay.
And scream, fog cloud.
Yeah.
That's a real Batman move.
Yeah, exactly.
Really trying not to step on any toys to give away your location.
Oh yeah.
There's a squeaky one we're done for.
Okay.
Now it's just rubber ducks.
Jeep owners.
So for fog cloud, what kind of disadvantage does that give?
So it pretty much just makes the area heavily obscured, which invokes like the blind condition.
So that can be removed by like a strong gust of wind.
A strong gust of wind comes along.
Strong gust of wind, but that's okay.
It'll give a moment though for you to make your way there.
You were close to getting there.
Yeah.
I did forget about the wind, but I was also under a trance.
It's all happening.
I'm like, toy monster, fuck.
Yeah, I'm out.
Is that the noise it makes?
It comes out of a whoopee cushion.
Well, we are in like this gross toy story situation here.
Okay.
So yeah, fog cloud goes out, you grab cav and you start making your way towards the tree
carefully stepping because there are more toys being pulled towards this creature behind you.
You manage to get to the tree on your turn and you hear the creature charging behind you
and like slamming its weapon into the trees around you.
Like you've made your way weaving in and it's trying to like break apart the brambles behind you.
So at the end of your turn, you are basically at the mouth of the tree you were shooting for.
It is trying to like barge its way through as it's getting bigger, bulking itself up by these trees.
It's not making it easier for itself.
It's collecting more toys as it comes closer.
Yeah, you hear them like moving through the grass and through the trees towards it.
So it's just getting bigger and bigger.
So yeah, you're obscured in its ability to be able to get to you.
So at the beginning of your turn, cav, you are at the mouth of this tree.
Okay.
Can I see anything in the tree?
Like is it just like a void space or is it just look like the inside of a tree?
It does look like a void space.
Like you see the, like you can see like the inside of the tree.
It looks like a hole.
You can see the, like where it's been carved out.
You don't necessarily know what could I get you to roll that would get you to know anything.
You could roll an investigation.
You could roll arcana if that, yeah, you don't really have a lot of arcane knowledge.
So you could roll investigation to see what more you could glean from this before making a choice to go into it or not.
All right.
So you're thinking investigation.
I think so.
Okay.
Are you sure you don't want medicine?
I do medicine roll.
No, I think I think it definitely investigation.
Okay.
If those are the two we're picking from.
Okay.
Those were the only two options.
That's five.
Okay.
Yeah.
No, it looks like a tree.
It looks like a tree that's been carved out.
Yeah.
Okay.
How big is this?
Like, is it, is there an opening, but then there's still like a foot of tree on either side?
Yeah.
No, this is, this is a, this is a huge tree.
Like it's, it stands out in this space.
Like you hadn't seen any tree like this.
I'm thinking like California redwood kind of side.
This is a tree that is very out of space.
I love it even better.
More local.
Canadian.
Yeah.
There are thorns climbing up the outside.
There's ivy dripping down it.
This is a tree that is not, not natural here.
Okay.
So that you can glean from it.
And the opening itself, like an adult, you know, you or Bazaar could easily walk into this tree.
Thrust your head in and just go, hey, magic.
I'm going to, I'd like to roll a strength save and try to like pull Bazaar into the tree with me and like kind of pull us around the corner.
So like we're at least out of sight because there's like room on the sides or at least in my mind there is.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
It's a 12.
Okay.
So sorry.
You're, you're pulling him around the tree.
Yeah.
Like in and around.
Okay.
We'd be like through the door, but then against the wall.
Like on the other side.
Yep.
Yeah.
You quite easily.
Bazaar isn't a, isn't a huge.
I mean, he's not a waif, but yeah, he's not.
Yeah.
But yeah.
You yoink him in there and pull yourself around.
And as you both step in, the tree suddenly like morphs around you.
And you quickly find yourself in this, this different forest landscape.
You hear the calls of, of animals that you don't, you can't recognize immediately.
It is completely dark.
Like it's nighttime.
There's what you can presume is a moonlit, a moonlight coming through the canopy of the trees.
But it's like, it's like more of like a, a blue, almost purple light that's coming through.
You hear these calls of these animals.
You hear crunching of leaves off in the distance, what you can presume as the animals.
And you hear echoes from somewhere of this monster that was chasing you.
That was going to be my first question.
Yeah.
The monster coming through.
Can I still hear that monster?
I can hear that monster.
But it sounds like it's getting farther and farther away.
Okay.
Like at this point, it doesn't sound like it's following you.
Okay.
I look over at Bazaar and say, so good news.
Monster problem seems taken care of.
Fantastic.
In other news, this.
Where are we?
Yup.
So it was day, now it's night.
Yup.
We went through a tree with a giant hole in it.
Different forest.
I mean, that's all sounds like magic to me.
Okay.
I figured as much.
I wasn't sure that was going to be my next question.
Yeah.
Just, just confirming.
I would imagine some kind of teleportation magic has occurred, you know, since it's
in a tree, maybe something more natural, like maybe not necessarily arcane, but I
don't know.
Okay.
Cool.
Exactly what I thought.
Yeah.
I was going to say the same thing, but I wanted to check with you first.
Yeah, like I wanted to give them the chance first.
Absolutely.
So what do we do now?
Well, if this is kind of an entry point, then hopefully there'll be some kind of
path that people normally take when they enter.
So let's start looking around for a trail of some sort.
Love it.
Yeah.
Start doing that.
That's so logical.
I know.
I have to play a smart boy.
I would get out of that tree and just be like, wow.
Monsters?
Yeah.
Marco.
The only thing is I'm not good at survival.
That's not, it's not Bazaar's thing.
You are looking around.
That was very beefy though.
Maybe.
I mean.
Can you find his way in a forest?
I don't know.
He's an office worker.
He's a city boy.
Yes.
I got plus two to survival.
Okay.
I'll assist you.
Excellent.
He's a scout.
Yeah.
Roll a survival.
Absolutely.
With advantage because he's assisting you.
I mean, I probably won't need the advantage.
It was a dirty 20.
Let's do it.
Okay.
Yeah.
Dirty 20.
It is.
All right.
Much better.
Yeah.
You begin to look around and you find quite quickly, Kav, some padded down area
of this forest that looks like could have been traversed somewhat recently.
And as you start to follow it and you're calling Bazaar to kind of keep up with
you, the path begins to like move and open like the branches and things begin to pull
themselves back from this path and create just like this straight line forward in
this forest for you.
Bazaar, I think I know the answer, but like also this is magic, right?
Like plants just normally don't do this.
Not that I've seen.
Cool.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I guess we're going this way.
Cool.
Lead the way.
You.
Okay.
Yes.
Follow me.
The two of you single file making your way down this path as you like on the
faint wind begin to hear the sounds of a banjo playing.
Dumbgeons and Dragons, season four, episode 15, starring Amy More as Alydin.
Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane.
Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave.
Kyle Klasset as Bazaar the Wizard and Russ More as your dungeon master.
Dialogue editing and sound design of today's episode is by Russ More.
Music is from Epidemic Sound and sound effects are from Epidemic Sound
and Boom Library.
Our amazing cover art is by Matt Garbutt.
And we'd like to say a huge thank you to our supporting producers, including
Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak, Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
Angaron Kiersen, Perry Matey, Old School Gamer D, Craig Zeiss, and L.A. Branton.
We'd love if you joined us today at Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast
for the amazing community, all the bonus content, and so much more.
Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast will see you over there.
But until then, have a great week and we'll talk to you soon.
Just going to finish off this fisherman's friend here.
Which is a lozenge, just in case any listeners don't have those.
It's not any, it's not orally pleasuring.
Important to clarify.
Look, I was a pirate for a very long time.
I was a fisherman's friend.
A broad season.
It was a little salty.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.