Shh, Dumbgeons and Dragons starts in just a moment.
Bizard, you step into your alma mater and are heading down the hallway towards Barnhart
Swan School of Magic Fighting and Dance's library.
There are young students coming and going out of the library, some of them just accidentally
bump into you as the hallways are packed.
Looks like it's probably between classes right now.
And Kav, you're following in behind and probably haven't spent much, if any, time at all
in Barnhart Swans as they keep it under pretty lock and key.
Not many tours go through unless you're intending to go to the school.
The walls and columns are all very intricately carved.
There's a different statue style carving of different wizards throughout time who have
all taught here and gone here.
This is prestigious, I guess is probably one of the best ways to describe this hall
that you're walking down.
And that up there, that's Ileana the Diviner and then you have TAlydinar the
Arcane Brewmeister.
It was an interesting school of magic that he decided to come up with, very, I don't
know, it's just brewing but with magic.
So...
Oh, cool.
Yeah, you know, it added some magical effects, like, you know, you start feeling a little
floaty more so than just from the alcohol, like you actually start floating around.
So kind of dangerous, actually, but still revolutionized some things.
Now it looks like very expensive here.
What's the tuition like?
Well, you know, it's been a long time since I've thought about the tuition and it's about
2000 gold a year.
Wow!
Yeah, it's, you know, you do one of two things.
You have the money, or you work for the school to get the money, or you do something
illegal.
Oh, mystery third option.
Yeah, most people don't think of that one.
I like it.
You know, gotta get by.
And technically, taking money from your parents isn't stealing when you need it, right?
I wouldn't think so.
I didn't think so either.
Anyway, so I'm trying to find Darius.
I wonder if Darius is still around.
Let me find one of the nearest workers here.
Paige?
Yes, sir.
Is Darius currently working?
Oh, yes, I think it was around.
Come this way, come this way.
Have you been to Barnhart Swans before?
I see cloaks on cloaks.
You've been here.
Yes, yes.
Yes, of course, of course.
And this is my guest, Cav, so please.
Of course.
Hi, first time for me.
Nice to meet you.
Let's head into the library.
Is there something in particular you're looking for that I can inform him of,
or just an old friend?
Both, actually.
Old friend.
I am looking for something specific, which you can go ahead and get on the work for doing,
unless you've already been given an assignment short of just reshelving books.
Nope, nope.
That's all I was doing.
I was just heading out for a little bathroom break, but I can do that later.
By all means, take care of yourself.
But once you're done with that, I need you to start looking into the magic behind
artificers.
People who would craft magical items, seemingly more so in that realm of just like,
instead of studying the magic, just being able to evoke it through an item.
So anything in that realm would be appreciated.
And you can stack that up.
Put it in the fourth stack.
I'll go and find it there.
That should be pretty close to where I think they would be.
Yes, okay.
I'm just going to run and tell Darius that you're here.
And sorry, your name was?
Oh, Bizarre.
Bizarre.
Very cool.
Okay.
He runs up.
You see him duck into an office and he kind of like fixes his cloak, points out to
you and waves you over and says, he'll see you and he zips past you, holding
his legs together as he's running down towards the bathroom.
Go to the bathroom.
Sorry.
Okay.
Dedication.
I do like it.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't in that position myself at some point.
Yeah, let's go.
Let's go speak to Darius real quick and get this knocked out.
It won't take long.
Perfect.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast.
And I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
He him.
Also joining me today is Amy More as Alydin.
She her.
But maybe your next story could be about a team adventuring out to find riches.
Tom Laird is Kavlaran Goldweave.
He him.
Is one of the books portals, portals, portals.
And Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard.
He him.
Remember to take care of yourself.
Did you go and use the bathroom?
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast, and you can join us today at
patreon.com slash TomDragonCast.
There's a seven-day free trial and a whole bunch of episodes for you to listen
to.
We hope to see you over there.
And now fuck it, let's play.
Over to Vintersmouth, Alydin is running through the town and make your way to the mill where
June and her partner, they run the mill.
So June does exist in this space in case that comes up.
You're making your way to where the kids are at the mill and the person who we
put in charge of the mill was Florence.
Florence was the eldest child.
And as you are making your way towards the back of the open area where there is another
like shed type structure that June has cleaned up and allowed the kids to stay there.
You don't hear the song, but you hear some soft talking inside.
And as you get closer, it sounds very ghost story-ish in cadence.
I come to the door and I lean up and put my ear to the door to listen to see what Florence
is saying.
And it sounds like they're nearing the end of this tale and all you kind of make
out is she's talking very low, which is very hard to hear, but then raises her
hands and like claps them together and says they were never seen again.
All the kids scream all at once.
I knock at the door.
And then they scream again.
He's outside!
It's the banjo man!
It's me!
Oh, it's just Alydin.
It's just Alydin.
Everybody calm down.
I thought knocking would be less scary, but I guess.
Yes.
Hello.
Welcome to our abode.
Thank you for coming.
She's got a tattered rug laid out on the floor, which wasn't there the last time
you came.
There's a few chairs in there.
June gave us these chairs.
Have a seat.
Welcome to our humble home.
Wow.
You guys have more furniture here than we had back home.
June's taking really good care of us.
It's a lovely establishment that they run here.
Wow.
I'm super happy to hear that.
Is everyone doing okay?
Yeah.
June's taking really good care of us.
Good.
I'm glad.
Can I talk to you outside for just real one quick second?
Of course.
Walk outside and shut the door behind me.
So how have things been?
Florence, how old are you?
I'm seven.
Yeah.
Is this a quiz?
No, it's not a quiz.
I'm going to be very clear with you right now.
Are you ready?
Ready.
Do not.
Tell the kids scary stories.
Why?
Because they just lived something very scary.
Yeah, but yeah, no, you're right.
I guess.
And you did too.
And I know you're being so brave and you really stepped up to take care of them.
I thought it was like fun because then we could share in like just a story that is safe
because it's just a story.
I'm just telling it to them and it's one we heard today because we got to go out.
We got to stretch our legs.
Tally was very, very happy about that, that we got to be out of the buildings
that we're in.
And it was just, it was just a nice moment.
I would like to say again that you guys are not locked inside.
You can go play.
Right.
Outside.
OK, well maybe we'll do that tomorrow.
But I, I, I want you to tell the kids stories.
Am I in trouble?
No.
But I want you to tell the kids stories that are fun and exciting and adventurous.
And there can be scary parts and parts where you're like, what's going to happen next?
But nothing that maybe they're going to have nightmares and scream about on top of
what I'm assuming is already some night screaming.
Who told you about the night screaming?
Well, this isn't the only place with a group of kids who are night screaming.
OK.
Yeah.
And that's OK.
Because it was super scary.
And you're here for them.
But your job right now is to make sure that they are not more scared.
OK, got it.
Or scared of something different because just replacing the scary isn't.
No, yeah, that's bad.
But this is a scary that we didn't, we don't know.
And that can sometimes make it scarier.
I guess I see the I see the point.
Yeah, but you're not in trouble.
OK.
But maybe your next story could be about a team adventuring out to find riches or
to be pirates.
There could be pirates.
Because the pirates aren't real.
That's right.
And maybe they come across some some magic creatures like unicorns.
OK.
And stuff like that of unicorns.
Right.
I got sparkles.
Use your imagination.
Rainbows.
And then they live in far away land that isn't here.
Yep.
OK, that's great.
Anything else?
No, but here you go.
And I I go inside my little bucket and I take out
a little stack of cookies and I go share them, of course, with everyone.
Share them with everyone.
Even the screaming kids.
Oh, yeah.
Well, that's everyone, isn't it?
I would have to hand it back to you.
Yeah.
All right.
I pop my head back in and I go, do you guys need anything?
What do you have?
So no, then?
No.
OK, I'll come and see you guys tomorrow.
Bye.
So I shut the door and I jog off to the school.
We cut to the school and you head in through the front door
and down to one of the classrooms that had the least windows.
You know, fewest points of entry obviously felt like a more strategic,
secure place to to have the kids here,
especially because there's no immediate adult supervisor within this area.
You get down there and you hear just inside kids, kids playing.
You hear a crash of like some some wooden figurines or something on the inside.
You step through the partially open door and they turn and look at you and say,
Alydin's here.
Alydin.
It's so good to see you.
Hi, you guys.
Hi.
Hello, Alydin again.
How's everyone doing?
Yeah, we're pretty good.
Learning lots.
Oh, yeah.
Look, we're stacking blocks and making towers and they've got the animals over
there and points and they've just got animal figurines.
What's up with you?
I'm just checking in on everybody.
We're great.
Well, it does certainly seem like you guys drew the long straw.
What do you mean?
Well, you guys are just so lucky because you guys have toys here.
We do have toys.
Do they have toys at the other places?
We should take them some toys.
Not many.
That would be so nice.
I think they would love that.
That would be really good.
Yeah.
Just a quick question.
Can I talk to you in the hall, Cedric?
Just for...
Yeah, of course, of course.
Just a sec.
So I went to Tally and I went to Florence.
And when I went there, I heard stories and songs.
Oh, at the banjo man.
Yeah, we went and saw the singer down in the docks today
and they were singing that song.
It was pretty good.
I thought it was nice.
A little spooky, but...
Yeah, kind of spooky, especially for what just happened.
So I'm going to ask you not to tell tales
and sing songs about the banjo man.
More than we already have.
Yeah, like no more from this point forward.
Than we already have up to this point.
Yes.
Try to keep it upbeat, positive.
Yeah.
Upbeat.
Because we don't want them to be scared.
Nah, they're not scared.
Look at them, they're playing with blocks.
Yeah, they're really lucky they got blocks.
Yeah, we'll bring them some blocks.
Well, we'll walk some over now.
We'll check the other classrooms, too.
Maybe they got blocks in there.
We can bring extra blocks.
Why didn't we just pile all you guys in the school?
I'm not sure.
You said that this was the best place to be.
It was at the shed and in the mill and in the school.
The other rooms had a lot of windows
and some of them were broken.
So maybe cleaning up all the rooms
was probably not a great idea.
Yeah, but if you could bring them some toys,
that'd be super cool.
OK.
All right.
You're doing a great job, Cedric.
Thanks, you too.
Thanks.
Uneasy feeling.
I want to roll a dice first.
What do you want to know?
Well, I want to know.
I feel like I'm being ushered out real fast.
OK.
I want to know.
So you want to roll insight.
Yes, is Cedric being sneaky about something?
I probably have a negative for my insight.
Nope, just a zero.
19.
Wow.
You're trying to tell if the kid's being sneaky.
Yeah.
And I do feel like I would be good at knowing if, you
know.
No, absolutely.
He's trying to get me out of this room for a reason.
What's going on?
I don't think he's intentionally
trying to get you out of this room
for a specific reason.
I think he's being a kid in this moment who's
done having this conversation.
OK, cool.
Do you feel like he thought the story and the song
were spooky?
Yes, I do think you thought that.
Do you think he's not going to tell scary stories?
I don't think you can trust that entirely.
But he's not ushering you out
because there's something nefarious happening
on the other side of the door.
Cool.
All right, well, I am hungry.
So I'm going to head back.
We see Alydin exit the school, give a moment to pause
to kind of look back.
And you hear the sound of playing inside.
And you see a couple of kids running
past the hall carrying a bunch of blocks in their arms.
And one of them turns and looks and says,
we're taking them to the blocks.
You guys are awesome.
We'll be right back.
It's the middle.
We're in November now.
And this is the start of the middle.
And Tom is about to say about it.
Tell us about it, Tom.
Tell us what you really think about November, Tom.
Look, after about October 15th,
I don't know what happened on what day.
It's just all one glorious, gross streak of color.
Yeah, we're all just trying to make it to the end.
And for that, we're glad that you're here celebrating
and enjoying some fun times.
Absolutely.
So thank you.
Thank you for being here.
I started the middle.
I threw it to Tom, who just did that.
And I didn't even prep for the middle.
Yeah, well, what are we talking about?
This is just a fun hangout time with friends.
So what is everybody's Christmas plans this year?
Jesus, fuck.
As little as possible with as few gifts as possible as well.
Nice.
Good strategy.
How about I send you some stickers in two years?
Oh, that sounds lovely.
That sounds great.
You know what?
I couldn't help myself.
I just remembered.
I know, so rude.
Is that I got Tom a sticker.
This wasn't one that we got together
and I haven't sent him.
It was a surprise fun sticker.
I think that was like a year ago, Tom,
that I was like, I'll got you a fun sticker.
I'll send it to you.
So is it just Tom and stickers?
It's just Tom and stickers is what I'm saying.
It's like the sticker void.
I'm going to email myself, see if I can find that sticker
and I'm going to send it to you, Tom.
Heck yeah.
If you can't, I mean, I have hundreds of stickers.
So let me know and I'll.
This is like a specific fun one
that's like a joke from a podcast that literally only
Tom, as a person I know, will get, I think.
OK.
Is it a stop podcasting yourself reference?
No.
OK.
Is it, that's all the podcasts I know that you listen to,
that I don't.
Abdul was just on that show, by the way.
He was.
Well, it's because he's best friends with him.
I'll have to download that one.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah.
I fell off with a stop podcast a little bit,
but I'll get back on the horse.
It's nice because you can just dip back in.
Yeah.
Anytime.
Just jump in.
So go listen to stop podcasting yourself.
Yeah.
Are we still in the middle, or are we just everybody?
Yeah, they need the support.
And tell them we sent you.
Yeah, do it.
Maybe they reach out and they're like, hey,
we heard that you're really awesome
and they want to come on with us.
Oh, I love that.
They're so funny.
I love those guys.
Poor Canadians.
Just light them into thinking it's their idea.
I mean, also, you could probably just ask them
and they might do it.
Yeah, probably.
OK, we don't have to play mind games with people.
Mind, I guess.
You know who we do play games with, though,
is our patrons.
Yeah, not mind games.
That's true.
Not mind games.
Just fun games.
Yeah, just fun games.
All right.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cats.
Come join us like Kyle did today.
He joined as a free patron.
You can do that.
You can just be a free patron.
Welcome to the scene.
You hang around long enough.
So wait, is this episode dedicated to me?
No.
No, no.
So is your house that way.
Yeah.
We do dedicate an episode to a patron.
Unfortunately, it's not Kyle today.
Maybe next week.
We'll see how it goes.
It's definitely fortunate, because there's
so many good people out there that
need an episode dedicated to them that deserve it.
Like today's patron, Kayla Emerson.
Kayla.
Thanks, Kayla.
Thank you so much.
You're wonderful.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
You're amazing.
Thank you, Kayla.
And you, too, can join us for free or otherwise.
There are some things on there that free patrons can access.
That's true.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cats.
We hope to see you over there.
And now we'll get you back to this episode, which
will help the rest of the year go by faster for you,
in a good way.
Ooh.
OK.
Solid.
It's going to happen.
Thanks, friends.
We'll talk to you later.
And have a great week.
We love you.
Bye.
Love you.
Bye.
Love you.
Bye.
We hear just a gentle knock at a door.
And Bizard and Cav, you enter Darius's office.
Darius is one of the head librarians.
Looks up from the book he's reading,
because he's a librarian.
Very stereotypical.
He says, Bizard, it's lovely to see you.
Darius.
Darius is a larger, jovial man.
Stands up.
His chair creaks underneath him.
And he comes around, gives you the big bear hug,
and squeezes you tight.
It's so good to see you.
And lets you go, drops you to the ground.
Darius, oh, I have missed those, man, like no other.
How have you been?
I am doing quite well.
They keep me pretty set up here.
I've moved up the ranks since you were here last,
and running the establishment.
I mean, maybe not running the establishment,
but I'm like pretty close.
Give it time.
If you know what I'm saying.
The gray is looking good on you.
I'm liking it.
Thank you.
A little bit more than it was last time,
but I guess with how it is.
Nature of the business.
Who is this?
Who's your friend?
Oh, this is Cav.
We ventured here from Ventersmouth
and become a recent really good friend.
And yeah, just traveling back home.
What a pleasure to meet you, Cav.
Yeah, nice to meet you, too.
Just a hearty handshake.
It's just, well, any friend of Bazaar is a friend of mine.
Come in, sit down, tell me what you're doing here.
Well, I came back because believe it or not,
I never thought I'd find myself
in the role of being a teacher.
But I have a potential student that
is accessing magic in a way that I'm not too familiar with.
It seems like, for example,
when they come into contact with a coin, it lights up.
It seems like more so they're imparting magic
to an object at this point.
And I think they could pull more out.
I just don't know.
I don't know how to make the connection
because I think it's more so like artificer magic.
Right, right.
So they have an inherent ability.
Right.
So I mean, maybe some texts that speak on sorcerers,
whether they're wildly tethered to the weave
or through some other ancestry
that they're achieving their magic,
maybe something along those lines.
But I feel like there was some text
on some magical engineers that I really enjoyed.
It kind of actually inspired me
to get into my little magic shop that I'm doing.
It's silly.
I don't want to bore you with it, but.
No.
Oh, you've got your, you mentioned that.
First off, it's not a little magic shop.
It's Vinter Smelt's premier magic shop.
That's amazing.
That's amazing to hear.
I always knew you had it in you
and that you were going to do amazing things.
That's good for you.
Thank you.
Bizarre's blushing.
So I've already asked one of your pages
to search through the texts
and source what they can.
But I know I'm not a student anymore.
I mean, yes, alma mater,
but you're not gonna let me walk out of here with books.
That's not how this place works.
It's not how this place works.
But there's nothing to say
that you can't take a moment
and write down what you find.
Well, I may need more constant reference.
And I was going to see if you could recruit some scribes
for some extra credit to copy the texts
so that I can have them shipped to me.
Because I know this ain't gonna happen overnight
and we've got to head back out tomorrow.
Of course, of course, of course, of course.
Yeah, let's see what they find.
Is that all you're looking for?
I will make some notes of what we find.
Just something quick so I can get started.
So, Kav, I'll probably be spending the night here.
I'm sure you have a place that you can stay,
but I do want to get as many notes down as I can
to get back and start helping out Alydin more.
Yeah, no, absolutely.
I'm happy to help you take notes.
I just don't know if I,
like, will I be able to understand everything?
I mean, maybe.
I guess it doesn't matter if I understand it,
if I can just write it down.
Yeah, if you can write it down,
leave down any kind of sigils or ruins,
I can take care of those.
And maybe we can knock this out before,
I don't know, 2.30, 3 a.m., maybe.
I'm down to try.
Awesome.
Darius says, yeah, in fact,
I see the scribe coming back there.
I'm gonna go point him in the right direction.
Come with me and we'll,
there's a couple that I can think of.
I was just looking into it not too long ago.
Something about machinations of the arcane,
thinking as he's walking.
I think that was Professor Kelsar who wrote that one.
And he pulls out a notebook from his pocket
and he waves his hand over top of it.
And this is runes, rivets, and relics
might be another one.
Let me go point them in the right direction.
And there might even be one more that could help you.
See him go off to the scribe
and give him some direction
on where he should go start hunting.
And then he comes back to you and says,
that'll take them a moment to track those books down.
So tell me more about the shop.
Well, I set it up as merely kind of a place
for kids to come get prank items
and whatnot to get into mischief
as I was known to do from time to time.
But it's really kind of grown
and I've really grown to appreciate the community.
In fact, it's taken me a little while to open up,
but the people there,
once you get to know them are very inviting.
And it's a pleasure to get to see people
I know on a regular basis
still enjoy the things that I create.
And knowing that it still brings them joy.
Darius, it does it for me.
That's amazing.
That's so good to hear.
Yeah.
You spent a lot of hard,
you did a lot of hard work here.
When you went off, I was honestly worried about you.
Whether you were gonna find your footing.
I've seen your mom around.
She looks like she's doing okay.
I check in on her every now and again for you
just to make sure everything's all right.
But it sounds like things are going a little tough there.
But yeah, I'm hoping that my mom
will make the decision to move out to Vintersmouth.
Oh, that would probably be a good move for her.
Yeah, I think so too.
But thank you for keeping up with her.
Yeah, of course.
I couldn't ask for a better person to know here.
I've had good relationships with teachers,
but ever since I came to this school for this library
and you were the first person
who pointed me in the right direction,
and that has stuck with me since day one.
Like, you wouldn't let somebody look lost.
Well, that's very kind of you to say.
And as you were having this conversation,
the scribe comes back with three large books
and plops them on a table beside you and says,
Runes, Rivets and Relics,
Artificer's Guide to Enchantment,
Machinations of the Arcane,
Harnessing Magic Through Innovation,
and the third one,
The Alchemy of Invention,
A Treatise on Arcane Engineering.
These were the three that you were looking for, yes?
Those sound like dead on the money.
I see that you have been paying attention
how to go through the cataloging system.
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Pointed me in the right direction,
but I certainly found them.
If there's anything else,
I'd be happy to go find some more things.
I can go take a look and see if there's anything else.
Darius, it's okay.
If he needs anything, he'll let you know.
Certainly.
And what was your name?
That way I don't just keep calling you Page or Scribe.
Name's Wayland.
Wayland, I almost said Wayland Jennings.
I know, I thought it too.
As soon as you got to the end of that name,
I was like, Jennings.
Yeah, Wayland Jennings.
Yeah, Wayland, fuck it, it's Wayland Jennings.
Well, excellent.
Thank you so much, Wayland.
I appreciate your help.
I will call out if I need anything else.
We'll probably be here late into the night,
so I may request for a, well, no.
If you need to leave, you need to leave.
Remember to take care of yourself.
Did you go and use the bathroom?
Of course I did, of course I did.
I was headed right there.
There were a couple detours along the way,
but I got there, all is good.
Good.
Feeling refreshed, ready to go.
Just don't make yourself do
the Otto's Irresistible Dance.
Yeah, good one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, good one.
Good one.
He's walking away.
Otto's Irresistible Dance, good.
Gonna use that one.
Darius looks down, so I got some time.
I can help you get started.
Darius sits down with you
and he begins flipping through the books
and the three of you are reading and writing down
as you come across notes.
Though, been up to, get out on any,
anybody who leaves town,
they always get out on adventures.
Have you been up to anything of, anything like that?
Well, yeah, kind of actually.
The town recently got attacked
by inter-dimensional monsters.
What?
Yeah.
You said it was just a cozy little town
where everybody knows your name.
It was, yes.
It was.
The owner of a brothel wanted to go on an adventure
and we helped him
and possibly unleashed these things upon the town.
So where, you unleashed them.
Where'd they come from?
I didn't, I never said I unleashed them.
I said we may have unleashed them.
Heavy emphasis on may.
Allegedly unleashed them.
You were in the vicinity when they were unleashed.
Where did they come from?
Some, actually I have a drawing of the portal here
and I pull out the drawing of the portal
that is like, this is what was at the bottom
of the mine shaft that we were going through
and actually, since I'm here, where's Wayland?
Bring over a book on portals, motherfucker.
That's how I'm gonna request books
from the library from now on.
Wayland comes over and Darious is looking at it
and writes down on his notepad
what looks like the name of three different books
and gives him direction on where to go
is I think I have something
that can help you with this too.
Is one of the books portals, portals, portals?
Wasn't, but it is now.
Gotta be careful,
because there's portholes, portholes, portholes,
which is a completely different book.
Very easy to mix those two up.
Very nautical.
Yes, yes, for our nautical magicians.
He heads off to go find those books,
which does take him quite some time.
We fade out on the scene of you transcribing
basically anything you can within the artificer's books
and Darious pulls over a few scribes to help you
where they are able to.
Obviously three books,
but gives you time to rest your hand.
And we see candles lit and fade off into the night.
And then we hear a rooster crow and Alydin,
you open your eyes inside the cot
that Bazaar has set up for you within his house.
Sun just kind of peeking in through the cracks
in the curtains the next morning.
And you hear after a brief moment,
the sound of frantic knocking down at the door.
I.
Alydin.
Coming.
Alydin.
I spring up out of bed and I grab my bucket
and pull on my tunic and rush downstairs
in a quick manner without falling
that only a child can do.
Burst through and into the main store area
and you're unlocking the door
and you see Tali on the other side who looks panicked.
You swing the door open.
She says, Alydin, Alydin, Alydin, Alydin, Alydin.
What?
Cedric, Cedric's gone.
The kids that ran over this morning, Cedric's gone.
What?
Come quick, come quick, we gotta find him.
And she runs off down the street.
I close the door, I lock it,
because I'm an employee
and I take my job very seriously.
And I haul ass behind her to the school.
I.
Dumbgeons and Dragons, season four, episode 10
starring Amy More as Alydin.
Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave.
Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard.
And Russ More as your dungeon master.
Dialogue editing by Carla Maxdead
and sound design by Russ More.
This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound
and Slipstream and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,
Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.
Our amazing cover art and character designs
are by Matt Garbutt.
And a huge thank you to our supporting producers,
Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak, Cat Waterflame,
Jacob Madden, Christian Brown,
Angaron Kierzen, Perry Matey,
Old School Gamer D, Craig Zeiss,
L.A. Branton, Barbara Sandrasyke, and Sarah Murphy.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast,
and you can find us at patreon.com slash dumdragoncast
where you get an episode dedication,
a whole bunch of exclusive content,
access to exclusive community channels in our Discord,
hangouts, and so much more.
We can't wait to see you over there.
Oh, and merch.
Merch is over there too.
After three months, we'll send you some.
Just like that.
Join us today, but until then, have a great week,
and we'll talk to you soon.
Don't marry a producer, everybody.
They will gaslight you.
And be like, what are you talking about?
That never happened.
Listen to the tape.
I held it.
There's a recording of it, check it.
Zip past giggling.
Hee hee hee.
Like me playing hide and seek.
Exactly.
They're never gonna look here.
I can't help it.
They never do.
You're there till night.
My brother did that to me once.
We do that to our friend's dad.
And I had the best hiding spot.
My mom had high boots in her closet and long dresses.
So what I do, I got inside of a dress,
put my feet in the boot, and I was like,
he's never gonna find me.
That's great.
No, yeah, he wasn't looking.
To begin with.
It was hot in there.
Yeah.
It was hot in there.
I come out, sweaty, being like,
huh, he didn't find me.
He's watching TV.
You're still here?
Fuck you, Jeremy.
Jesus.
Yeah, classic older brother move.
Classic bullshit, that's what that is.
Yeah.
Jeremy gets called out on the pod.
He doesn't listen.
He gets called out again on the pod.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.