[0.0s] Adventures on the way, stick around for Dumbgeons and Dragons, starts in a moment.
[5.4s] Kavlaran and Bizard, you are on a ship, one of the first ships to leave Vintersmouth,
[12.2s] heading up the River River towards Kingstown. You've been traveling for the better part of a
[18.1s] day. It takes about a day to make the full journey, so you're getting close.
[23.2s] You're up at the bow. As you crest a wave, the ship lands and grounds a bend,
[30.0s] and you see Kingstown up ahead in front of you.
[33.8s] It is, it's been a minute. I have not seen Kingstown in quite some time.
[39.2s] Oh, it's only been a little bit for me, but how long for you?
[45.0s] A little over five years. I came back once for half a day, but it's been a long time.
[53.0s] Business trip? Or?
[55.2s] Yeah, I just needed to come back and get some supplies. I wanted to say hello to my mom and
[60.8s] make sure she was okay. It's a good opportunity to kind of do that again,
[64.6s] but don't necessarily like sticking around too long.
[67.6s] It's fair. Now, is that like, I don't mean to presume,
[71.8s] you don't want me to come with you to see your mom, do you?
[74.8s] Oh, no, you didn't come with me to see my mom. I mean,
[77.4s] do you want me to go with you to attest to the illegalities going on in those books?
[81.6s] I mean, it wouldn't hurt to have a witness, I guess, but no need.
[86.1s] It's pretty ironclad with the book, so.
[88.0s] For sure, for sure. No, yeah, you're more than welcome to come. We can go to,
[92.3s] we can go meet her at the restaurant that she works out. If she's still there,
[95.5s] it's called The Cured Pig. If we can make our way there, then, you know,
[99.2s] we at least have a nice meal whenever we get in.
[101.8s] Okay, cool. Yeah. I mean, I'm always down to eat.
[104.6s] Excellent. When do you think you'll get over to getting those books?
[108.2s] Do you want to do that first thing?
[110.4s] Uh, I mean, probably the quicker the better.
[112.8s] Makes sense. You know,
[113.7s] rip the bandaid off sort of thing. Um, yeah, maybe stop.
[117.8s] Well, if we stop there first, we're probably not going to eat for a while.
[121.6s] Okay, stop to eat first, then I'll head over there.
[125.1s] You can come with if you want, or if you want to go see your mom while I do my thing,
[128.2s] totally cool. Let's get a bite to eat.
[129.7s] I'll stick with you. And what happens, happens.
[133.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast, and I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More, He-Him.
[140.7s] Also joining me today is Amy More as Alydin, She-Her.
[144.7s] I want to know my float, okay?
[146.5s] Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane, She-Her.
[149.6s] It's maybe not exactly what you think, but it is, it's very fun.
[153.1s] Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, He-Him.
[156.1s] Just ignore that I said that. I feel, oh my.
[158.5s] And Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard, He-Him.
[161.9s] It's like a curd, in a way.
[164.2s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast,
[167.2s] and you can join us today at Patreon.com slash TumDragonCast.
[170.7s] There's a seven-day free trial and a whole bunch of episodes for you to listen to.
[175.0s] We hope to see you over there.
[176.5s] And now fuck it, let's play!
[181.5s] We cut to those buns though, which is in a bit of disrepair, still being put back together
[188.6s] after the recent attacks, and sitting out in a couple of chairs on the patio
[194.1s] are Bonwyn and Follon-Varam.
[197.1s] He's been popping in every couple days, just making sure that everything's going okay, and
[202.6s] he's very interested in how business runs in the town and how the city operates,
[209.4s] and it's really taken to you because you seem to be tapped into
[213.0s] a lot of the things that are happening.
[214.6s] So, you mentioned the other day that the children don't go to school here?
[224.8s] Oh, well they couldn't because there are no schools.
[228.8s] There used to be.
[231.2s] I went to school.
[232.9s] I was lucky enough to grow up here when they still were funding that on this side of the
[236.8s] river, but yeah, no, it's too tough.
[240.6s] Times got so tough that a lot of kids just had to go work in the family businesses, but
[247.4s] their parents would have sacrificed to keep them in school, but there's no funding,
[252.1s] and the buildings were all getting dilapidated, and yeah, it's a tragedy, honestly.
[260.0s] That all happened under the current mayor, yes?
[265.7s] Yeah, Mayor Knops.
[266.9s] I mean, his predecessor also was not great.
[271.5s] I mean, it takes a while for the whole kind of structure of a society to break down,
[276.9s] so it can't entirely be on Mayor Knops's head, but you know,
[282.2s] he has been in office for a long time.
[284.7s] Does there anybody in town say that they came into the correct amount of funding
[291.4s] if they'd want to start up the school again?
[295.1s] Like who would they talk to to make that happen?
[298.2s] Perhaps, yeah.
[300.2s] Well, I mean, yeah, definitely nobody official.
[303.9s] So private?
[304.7s] Yeah, there's a lot of really good folks in the business association
[308.9s] working on kind of like improvement projects to keep things going, and yeah,
[314.2s] we're all really passionate about the town and want to make things better, and I mean,
[320.8s] this whole thing is a challenge now, obviously, you know, hard to get the schools back going.
[328.4s] Of course, yes, no, it's terrible.
[330.2s] Half the city's burned down, but...
[332.2s] Interesting.
[333.1s] Well, it's something for me to think about.
[338.1s] I myself am a bit of a philanthropist of sorts,
[341.6s] travel around helping where I can and see a need.
[347.0s] What's the saying, see a need?
[349.4s] Fill a need?
[351.0s] Fill a need, yeah.
[352.6s] Everybody in this town seems to be some of the most lovely people I've ever met.
[357.4s] I think one to one, we have some of the best people,
[361.5s] but yeah, it's just the systems that are not so good,
[365.0s] but individuals, again, especially on this side of the river,
[368.6s] all the artisans, all just good and hardworking folk.
[372.1s] He looks off into the distance for a second.
[375.6s] Yes, yes, sorry, something for me to think about, that's all.
[380.2s] Oh, you know, I just had a thought.
[383.0s] June, who is in the business association, did used to be a teacher.
[387.0s] She was my teacher, so she might be a good person to talk to.
[390.8s] She's actually done all kinds of jobs around here, and you'll love her.
[395.8s] I don't want to oversell her, but June is a hoot and a half.
[399.8s] I bet she'd have some ideas about it,
[401.4s] because she was really like in the trenches in the school system.
[404.5s] So that's a thought.
[405.4s] Of course, that sounds great.
[407.4s] June, you said, where could I find her?
[409.4s] Well, she'll definitely be at Wing Night at Brood Awakening.
[414.4s] If you haven't been, it's maybe not exactly what you think, but it is, it's very fun.
[419.3s] Coming around the corner, you hear fast footsteps and Alydin zipping past your table.
[425.5s] Hey, Alydin, do you need a pastry or you're good?
[429.0s] Can't talk, gotta open the shop.
[430.9s] OK, I mean, it's a bit, it's a bit OK.
[433.8s] She's gone.
[434.7s] It's a bit early for her to have to open the magic closet right now, but she's, she's eager.
[439.7s] Follin looks at June and says, and the children operate.
[446.1s] Oh, oh, I see.
[448.5s] She is not the proprietor of the magic closet.
[451.7s] Bizarre runs the magic closet.
[455.4s] She's sort of like, maybe almost like his apprentice.
[459.4s] He's kind of taken her under his wing and she's very, she's so smart and she's really
[463.8s] brave and pretty great.
[466.5s] We hear the chime of a bell as the door to the magic closet
[471.1s] swiftly opens and Alydin, you get in and start opening the shutters
[475.2s] and getting the shop ready for the day.
[477.6s] OK, open sign and curtains open.
[483.1s] And oh, oh, bring out, bring it up.
[489.4s] She runs into the back and and get some items that she knows needs to go out on
[495.4s] the shelves and starts stocking the shelves.
[498.0s] As you're pulling those items out, you quick double glance at the at the cash register
[503.7s] and it appears that Bizarre has left you a note.
[507.2s] You go over, you pick it up and it says,
[510.9s] Alydin, I know you'll do well taking care of the shop.
[514.5s] You shouldn't need to worry about any of the inventory.
[517.1s] Everything is stocked and ready to go.
[519.4s] Just refill the shelves at the end of the day.
[524.5s] There's a long pause on the piece of paper and then maybe some scratched out,
[529.4s] some really scratched out scribbles, right?
[531.6s] It's like says, make sure you feed yourself.
[534.6s] Don't worry about just the store while the store is important.
[538.5s] Remember to take care of yourself.
[540.6s] It's the first lesson of business.
[544.6s] Bizarre.
[546.6s] Wow.
[547.4s] My first lesson of business.
[550.7s] I wonder if you left any money in the till.
[553.8s] I did.
[554.3s] There's like 50 gold in the till.
[556.2s] You turn the note over.
[557.2s] There's a parenthetical.
[559.0s] It's like, I know how much is in the till.
[561.8s] I counted it.
[563.3s] I want to know my float.
[564.8s] OK, I'd want to know if I was like, sorry, you guys.
[567.9s] Exact change only.
[570.2s] OK, so I fold that note up and I put it in my bucket
[574.9s] because I think this is going to be this is like the first tangible evidence
[581.0s] that somebody cares about.
[584.1s] Alydin, like an actual like physical like I have a piece of paper.
[587.3s] Someone telling me I'm going to do a good job
[590.0s] and to take care of myself and that they trust me.
[592.7s] Holy shit.
[594.0s] And so I fold it up and put it in my bucket.
[596.3s] That's like, and I double check the till.
[603.4s] OK, OK, 50.
[604.6s] OK, 50.
[605.8s] And there's one extra gold.
[609.0s] I take it and I run upstairs and with my extra key,
[612.7s] I open up your living quarters and I just put it on the nearest side table
[620.0s] and then I close the door and I go back downstairs
[623.0s] because that seemed like the right move.
[624.5s] Why far away?
[626.2s] Way on a boat.
[629.0s] Nice.
[631.8s] That was a test.
[633.0s] There was actually 51.
[637.8s] And yeah, so Alydin puts back what she was going to bring out on the shelf,
[642.0s] seeing that they actually are all stock.
[643.6s] She was just super pumped to get started with the day
[646.8s] and like stands behind the register,
[650.3s] just like just an eager, eager to participate in the workforce.
[656.3s] As you're standing there looking out the door,
[658.6s] you see two kids about your age.
[661.4s] They come from the other side of the river.
[665.8s] Trevor and Troy.
[667.4s] Oh, Trevor and Troy, fuck them.
[669.9s] And Troy, they are approaching the magic closet.
[673.8s] Your customer service skills are?
[675.7s] The door opens and they're laughing and they come in.
[679.7s] Is it?
[680.3s] Oh, oh, Alydin, is it?
[684.4s] Yes.
[685.2s] Wait a minute.
[686.2s] Do you work here?
[687.6s] I do.
[688.4s] Yeah, you're standing behind the till.
[689.7s] You must work here.
[690.6s] Mm hmm.
[691.2s] What kind of deals you got going on today?
[693.4s] They start walking around, just kind of flipping things.
[696.6s] Touching everything.
[698.1s] Everything.
[698.9s] Oh, Alydin is like following behind them
[703.4s] and not being sneaky customer service person
[709.7s] who is like just like writing the things,
[713.4s] just like straightening.
[715.0s] She is very obviously following around
[717.6s] and like repositioning stuff that they're turning for no reason.
[722.3s] Well, all the prices are marked on the items.
[725.3s] What are you looking for?
[728.6s] Something to trick Officer Dace.
[732.2s] He seems to be a little high strung lately.
[734.9s] You got any of those, the ones that explode
[738.9s] when you throw them on the ground?
[740.3s] Oh, or more of that like sneezing powder
[742.6s] that we had last time.
[743.7s] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[745.7s] Hey, is Bazaar here?
[747.4s] Nope.
[748.2s] I'm in charge today.
[750.7s] Okay.
[751.6s] She would brag.
[752.4s] It's a bad move, but like...
[754.3s] So you want to mess with Dace?
[756.1s] Yeah.
[756.6s] Yeah, I think so.
[757.9s] Right?
[758.6s] Yeah, 100%.
[759.6s] Give us your best stuff to mess with Dace.
[762.2s] Give me one second.
[763.5s] And she just goes behind the register
[766.5s] and on the shelf below,
[768.2s] she brings out this small metal cylinder.
[775.5s] Cool.
[775.8s] What's in there?
[777.0s] Well, it doesn't open.
[778.2s] Oh.
[778.5s] There's nothing in there.
[780.6s] But this will, with no pattern,
[784.1s] create a sound that is impossible to trace back to this.
[789.4s] What kind of sound?
[790.4s] Is it like a screeching cat?
[792.2s] Is it like a hissing mongoose?
[794.2s] It is kind of hissing.
[795.4s] It's kind of whispering.
[796.5s] It's a little creepy.
[797.8s] It's a whispering.
[798.9s] I've been waiting.
[799.9s] It just kind of is like...
[803.6s] Oh.
[805.0s] But a little louder.
[806.2s] So kind of a creepy vibe.
[808.3s] A little bit.
[809.9s] Just enough, and only long enough,
[812.7s] he's never going to find it.
[813.8s] It's going to drive him nuts.
[815.4s] Perfect.
[817.3s] Okay, give us one of those
[819.0s] and a couple of the flashbangs
[820.4s] just in case the whispering doesn't work.
[822.7s] Not that I don't trust you.
[824.5s] No, no, no. Fair.
[825.4s] You know what?
[826.3s] If it does work, though, tell your friends.
[828.3s] I will, I will, right?
[829.8s] Don't let it get back to me, though.
[831.9s] Of course not.
[832.2s] Days will have my head.
[834.0s] You ring up these few items
[836.6s] and Trevor reaches into the inside pocket of his jacket.
[841.1s] Make a perception check.
[842.8s] Now, am I trying to do a sleight of hand or anything, Russ?
[847.0s] Fuck.
[847.8s] Yeah, roll.
[848.8s] Can I roll with advantage because I am so...
[854.1s] I want to hear this justification.
[857.5s] Yeah, tell him you roll a d20 as well.
[859.1s] Because I am just like,
[861.9s] I am imbued with the confidence
[867.4s] that reading that letter from Bazaar gave me.
[870.4s] Yeah, I think so.
[872.0s] Hell yeah.
[872.6s] 16, just 10 more than I got last time.
[875.6s] Was that three that you held up?
[877.1s] It was a three, yes.
[877.8s] Perfect.
[878.3s] Okay.
[878.6s] Oh, my six would have beat that anyway.
[883.2s] Damn it.
[884.0s] We'll be right back.
[887.9s] It's the middle.
[890.6s] God damn it.
[892.6s] God damn it.
[894.8s] Just love you so much.
[896.6s] God damn it.
[897.4s] Oh, so much.
[898.3s] Russ is setting the tone for a perfect middle section.
[902.3s] Thanks for being here, everybody.
[904.0s] Give me a moment while these friends vamp a little bit.
[907.4s] Oh, man.
[908.8s] Yeah, vamping.
[909.8s] And then it's silence.
[911.0s] Absolute silence, the only time Amy and I don't talk.
[915.9s] Yeah.
[916.6s] I have nothing to say to Carl.
[917.8s] I've seen her every day for the past four days.
[919.5s] Oh, my God, it's exhausting.
[921.7s] Just kidding.
[922.3s] I'll see you tomorrow too.
[924.9s] See you at dance.
[926.6s] Awesome.
[927.0s] Oh, Russ is making a serious face now.
[929.4s] Is he going to swear at us again?
[930.7s] Or is he going to restarting the middle properly?
[933.6s] Russ, you did one thing.
[934.6s] You started talking about your schedules.
[937.4s] And how amazing it is that we get to hang out with friends.
[941.4s] Like when we get to hang out with our patrons.
[943.4s] Yes, we do.
[944.1s] We do do that.
[946.2s] Yeah.
[946.8s] Where can you hang out with patrons?
[948.7s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast is where you have to,
[952.1s] is the gate to get into the hangouts.
[954.6s] What you're saying is we are gatekeeping our hangouts.
[957.4s] In the same sense that a paywall is, I guess, a gate.
[960.3s] Sort of a gate, like a toll bridge.
[963.0s] Yeah.
[964.6s] But all the Patreon support goes towards really
[967.8s] like things to help us bring more content.
[971.7s] And things like replacing equipment for shitty stuff.
[975.8s] And we love that.
[977.3s] And paying the bills to make the podcast.
[979.9s] Right, exactly.
[980.7s] All that stuff.
[982.2s] And then us too.
[984.2s] It does come back to us too.
[986.3s] So that we create, so it gives us more inspiration.
[991.3s] Yeah.
[992.8s] I'm inspired by the almighty dollar.
[995.1s] Let's go.
[996.3s] I mean, Alydin certainly is.
[998.6s] So yeah, Bazaar is a business owner.
[1002.0s] So you know, it makes sense actually.
[1003.7s] Here we go.
[1004.6s] Let's meet them dollar bills.
[1007.8s] I can sense how that made Carla feel.
[1011.4s] Made me feel very uncomfortable.
[1013.7s] Comfortable, asking for money.
[1015.2s] Like I need to reassure people.
[1016.8s] Guys, don't worry.
[1017.8s] Like we get paid like two cents an hour.
[1020.6s] Like don't think that we're.
[1021.8s] That's how it bAlydinces out.
[1023.3s] You guys are not keeping.
[1024.6s] You guys are not paying my mortgage.
[1026.6s] Yeah.
[1027.4s] So like don't.
[1028.8s] And we love you.
[1029.8s] Worry.
[1030.6s] You can't give us any money.
[1031.8s] Oh god, I'm spiraling now.
[1033.2s] Yeah, no, I don't want to do this.
[1034.5s] I want to start over.
[1035.4s] Hey, so where a lot of it goes is to.
[1038.2s] Dedicating an episode to a Patreon listener.
[1041.6s] Oh, we need a special computer.
[1043.0s] So we need a special computer for that to carry that load.
[1046.1s] Because it is the computer the size of a room.
[1048.6s] Yes.
[1050.4s] Which has every name of every patron that we have.
[1053.1s] And I punch it into the computer.
[1054.6s] Listen to the sounds right now.
[1056.8s] So many electronic sounds are playing in the background.
[1059.4s] Beep beep beep.
[1060.2s] That's the one.
[1060.6s] Matrix I hear.
[1061.8s] Okay.
[1062.3s] You got it.
[1063.0s] Yep, printing it off.
[1064.9s] Just saying really much like the phones on Facing Fate.
[1069.4s] I mean, those got edited out.
[1071.4s] So only patrons would know that.
[1073.1s] So if you come sign up for Patreon, you also get to know what all the bullshit
[1077.5s] that they put us through in Lunacorp.
[1079.0s] God, so much bullshit.
[1080.7s] So much bullshit.
[1082.0s] Let's do something serious.
[1086.8s] Listen, it's like you took a fish out of water and threw it up into a tree.
[1090.7s] Okay.
[1091.0s] You did so well.
[1093.8s] Up in that tree.
[1094.6s] Just needed a hose every once in a while.
[1096.6s] It was wet up there.
[1101.9s] But you do get an episode dedicated to you.
[1104.0s] We got there.
[1105.0s] Full circle.
[1105.8s] Like today's patron, Pivowin.
[1110.2s] Thank you so much.
[1111.0s] Thank you so much.
[1112.5s] Pivowin, very active on the Discord.
[1114.7s] There are Patreon only specific channels on the Discord.
[1117.8s] But also there's just everybody channels.
[1120.2s] So like we're not gatekeeping everything.
[1122.3s] Come join us there.
[1123.3s] Everyone's very nice.
[1125.0s] So nice.
[1125.9s] Very true.
[1126.5s] It's a link to get in is in the link tree in the description of this episode.
[1133.4s] Oftentimes on older episodes, people are like, it's hard to find.
[1136.5s] And that's probably true because those descriptions are very old.
[1140.5s] And a lot of the links are probably dead.
[1142.7s] Sorry.
[1144.3s] But now that you're here, you can get in.
[1147.2s] We're doing it.
[1148.0s] We want you to come hang out with us.
[1150.1s] We really do.
[1151.0s] We'll get you back to the episode now.
[1152.2s] Thanks for listening.
[1152.8s] Okay.
[1153.0s] Love you.
[1153.3s] Bye.
[1158.6s] Trevor, Trevor reaches in and grabs some money.
[1163.0s] And as he's paying you, you out of the corner of your eye,
[1167.9s] look over and see something hanging out of Troy's pocket, his pants pocket.
[1173.4s] What you got there, Troy?
[1175.8s] Nothing.
[1176.9s] Looks like something.
[1178.5s] Nothing.
[1178.8s] I got it at Dembunzo.
[1180.6s] Alydin walks from around the till, walks past Trevor.
[1186.6s] What are you doing?
[1188.2s] Goes to the front door, locks it and pulls the shade down and turns the sign to closed.
[1196.9s] Turns to face Trevor.
[1198.1s] Overall intimidation, I feel like is what you're going for here.
[1201.4s] Hell yeah, dude.
[1202.7s] I knew you were going to do a good job.
[1206.6s] An 11.
[1207.7s] Meanwhile, Blizzard's watching on his ring cam.
[1209.7s] I'm waiting to turn the microphone on and be like, get out.
[1213.5s] Both the boys are nervous at what's happening here.
[1219.2s] What do you got?
[1219.7s] What do you got in your pocket, Troy?
[1223.0s] Empty your pockets.
[1223.7s] There's nothing.
[1225.2s] Nothing's in there.
[1226.7s] Yeah, Troy, what's in your pocket?
[1230.0s] It's nothing.
[1230.6s] Here, I'll just put everything on the table.
[1233.4s] Empties his pockets.
[1235.0s] What's in his pocket?
[1236.2s] I guess some sort of vial, maybe unmarked, has like a little string off of it.
[1242.8s] And you saw the string hanging out of my pocket.
[1245.3s] Does this look like a vial of something that we sell in the store?
[1249.5s] Well, we know the sisters don't have any more unlabeled vials because they
[1253.7s] had learned their lesson, so I don't know how many potion shops there are in town.
[1258.5s] So what's that?
[1259.3s] I don't know.
[1259.8s] Doesn't have a label on it.
[1261.2s] Yeah, no label.
[1263.0s] He carries stuff around in his pockets all the time.
[1265.4s] Absolutely.
[1266.7s] All right, we've paid for our stuff.
[1268.1s] I think we'll be going.
[1269.6s] I'm just standing in front of the door.
[1271.8s] But like maybe you could unlock that door?
[1274.0s] That looks an awful lot like our hiccuping potion.
[1279.0s] I mean, I don't know.
[1280.0s] I don't think it is.
[1281.4s] Take the cork off.
[1283.0s] What are you saying?
[1283.7s] Are you saying we're stealing from you?
[1285.0s] We're saying we're stealing from Bazaar.
[1286.3s] We would never steal from Bazaar.
[1288.6s] Drink it.
[1289.4s] I dare you.
[1290.2s] I mean, it shouldn't be a problem, right?
[1292.1s] I'll just drink it.
[1293.5s] Just drink it.
[1294.6s] Just drink it.
[1295.8s] Drinks it.
[1296.6s] Uh, Troy?
[1299.5s] Troy, you OK?
[1301.3s] Boils begin to form on the boy's skin.
[1304.0s] What's going to happen to me?
[1307.3s] Does it wear off?
[1309.2s] When does it wear off?
[1310.1s] It's looking pretty gross.
[1311.4s] Yeah, you see Trevor reach into his pockets and he pulls out a couple flashbangs and a
[1321.4s] couple of like frog looking things.
[1323.4s] He's like, sorry, sorry, OK.
[1326.0s] Look, that's it.
[1327.3s] That's it.
[1327.9s] That potion you just drank was too gold.
[1330.5s] I put my hand out.
[1331.6s] Too gold?
[1333.3s] I don't have any.
[1336.2s] I got a gold and a couple silver.
[1340.6s] She takes it, unlocks the door.
[1344.1s] We're going to go now.
[1345.3s] Don't tell Bazaar, OK?
[1348.0s] We promise we'll be back.
[1350.1s] Thanks for shopping.
[1351.0s] Bye.
[1352.2s] Come back soon.
[1353.8s] God, it's gross.
[1354.6s] What did she do?
[1356.1s] Should wear off in a couple hours and she shuts the door.
[1359.4s] I don't know.
[1360.4s] It looked shiny.
[1362.6s] Kids.
[1365.8s] That seems like a little bit of a pretentious thing.
[1369.1s] It's like, oh, kids.
[1371.7s] Those kids.
[1372.6s] I'm an adult with a job now, children.
[1376.6s] Try to steal from me.
[1378.5s] And of course, I then start to put away the items that they had taken.
[1383.0s] Over in Kingstown, Bazaar and Kavlar, you've disembarked and you're making your way
[1389.6s] through the streets, seeing many familiar places.
[1394.3s] In the last five years, the city has gone through several changes, different establishments,
[1400.3s] but you followed your nose down the street towards the cured pig.
[1405.4s] And it looks like it's just opening up for the day.
[1408.3s] The server who's out setting the tables out in the patio sees you come up to the front
[1415.5s] and says, oh, for two?
[1418.6s] Yes.
[1420.6s] Is Carla working today?
[1422.6s] Uh, yeah, I saw her come in.
[1425.4s] Do you know her?
[1426.9s] Yeah, that's my mom.
[1428.3s] Oh, Bazaar?
[1431.4s] Yeah, it's been a while.
[1433.6s] Rick?
[1434.4s] Yeah, it's been a while.
[1437.9s] I didn't think it's been that long.
[1439.9s] It gives you a look over.
[1441.5s] Well, you look like you're doing well.
[1443.4s] Thank you.
[1443.9s] Yeah, no, business has been good.
[1447.9s] Let me go grab you.
[1449.4s] Take any table you want, and he disappears in the back.
[1453.3s] Perfect, yeah.
[1454.2s] Pull a chair out for Cav.
[1456.6s] Oh, thank you.
[1458.1s] So I have never been here before.
[1461.3s] Never.
[1461.6s] Looks cool, though.
[1462.9s] Oh, really?
[1464.5s] It's a really nice little place to make really good sandwiches.
[1467.8s] So if you're really into a good pastrami or whatever.
[1473.8s] Say no more.
[1474.8s] Say no more, B.
[1475.7s] OK, cool.
[1476.9s] You'll just have to check out the menu.
[1478.2s] You may find something that you haven't tried yet.
[1480.7s] Fast footsteps is an understatement as you are tackled in your seat, Bazaar.
[1487.2s] Your mom has you in the barehuggiest of embraces,
[1492.3s] and she says you didn't tell me you were coming in your last letter.
[1495.9s] I didn't.
[1498.1s] Kind of an impromptu visit.
[1500.3s] This month, this is my friend Cav.
[1503.0s] Hi.
[1503.8s] It's so lovely to meet you, Cav.
[1505.7s] It's so lovely to see you.
[1507.3s] Uh, what are you?
[1509.0s] What are you?
[1509.6s] Oh, shh.
[1510.8s] Looks flustered.
[1511.6s] She looks shh.
[1513.1s] Here, mom, have a seat.
[1514.2s] Can you can you take a you can take a break?
[1517.2s] Yeah, it's fine.
[1518.7s] We're just setting up right now.
[1520.8s] There's nobody here yet.
[1522.1s] It's, uh, it's good to see.
[1524.3s] It's good to see you.
[1525.2s] It's good to see you, too.
[1526.4s] It's good to see you, too.
[1527.3s] Have you been doing you've been taking care of yourself?
[1530.1s] You look her over and her hair's gone a lot more gray.
[1534.6s] Your eyes are pretty sunken in.
[1538.2s] She lost a lot of weight since the last time you saw her.
[1541.0s] So yeah, yeah, yeah, things have been things been going really well.
[1545.5s] It's yeah, it's didn't want to share share it in
[1551.4s] in the in a letter, but, um, your your dad's not doing so well.
[1557.4s] So I've had to take a few extra shifts just to kind of make ends meet.
[1561.0s] But, um, you know, that's okay.
[1563.0s] That's that's nothing to worry about.
[1565.1s] Um, it's it's so good to see you.
[1567.2s] How's the shop?
[1568.0s] The shop is going well.
[1569.4s] Actually, it's part of the reason I've I've decided to come back.
[1573.1s] I need to need to access some of the literature at the school, um,
[1577.4s] potentially see if I can procure some of the books and bring them back with me.
[1582.1s] I think I I think I might have some sort of an apprentice,
[1587.0s] but not quite doing magic the same way I do.
[1589.9s] So I don't know how to teach them.
[1592.2s] So I need the books to kind of figure it out and
[1595.0s] bridge the gap between what they can do and what I can do.
[1599.8s] Wait, who's your apprentice?
[1601.9s] Uh, Alydin.
[1603.5s] I feel like, oh, my God, of course it is.
[1605.6s] Oh, my God.
[1606.9s] Just ignore that.
[1607.8s] I said that I feel, oh, my just head down in the menu, like never to speak again.
[1612.4s] But yeah, that's that's why I'm back in town.
[1614.3s] And it's kind of kind of going to be, I mean, a short shortish visit
[1618.9s] because I left Alydin to run my shop.
[1622.2s] While I'm gone, trust it'll be fine, you know,
[1625.4s] but there's always going to be the side of me that's nervous
[1628.8s] leaving it with somebody else after a decade of not having anybody else.
[1634.0s] Well, it's nice that it affords you the ability to come come do these runs
[1637.4s] rather than rather than have some of the some of the some of the folks on the ships.
[1642.2s] Well, it's come.
[1643.4s] I'm trying to take my note from you in that, like, you know,
[1646.6s] you were with Dad when he was running his business and he did not take care of himself.
[1652.9s] You told me when I started that business,
[1655.7s] you are the most important customer.
[1657.3s] Take care of yourself first.
[1659.2s] I've made sure to do that.
[1660.6s] So well, it shows.
[1662.3s] I mean, it's she puts her hand to your face.
[1664.6s] It's like you've been doing a little bit too much.
[1668.3s] It maybe looks like.
[1670.1s] Yeah, you look like you're taking care of, though.
[1674.4s] And that's that's what's important.
[1676.8s] And an apprentice is like next step up.
[1679.4s] Like, you know, and you're teaching them and you can always figure things out.
[1683.8s] And I'm sure they'll let you take the books out of the library.
[1686.7s] You know, yeah, be damned, right?
[1689.7s] Like, you'll bring them back.
[1690.7s] You had you had a stellar record while you were there.
[1693.2s] Oh, yeah.
[1693.8s] And I mean, even if even if I need to have a copy purchased and and sent over,
[1698.4s] that's perfectly fine.
[1699.2s] I just need to know what I'm looking for.
[1701.3s] But how bad is he doing?
[1709.3s] I mean, he hasn't been able to work in some some some almost a year.
[1715.3s] He just kind of I'd say keeps the house, but he he barely does that.
[1722.6s] He doesn't get out of bed much anymore.
[1724.7s] I mean, he never never really brought up a lot of his other family.
[1730.7s] He doesn't have other people that can take care of him.
[1732.4s] You could just come out to Vintersmouth, just move out there.
[1736.2s] I like I'll figure out something.
[1737.8s] I mean, I'm living in the space above my store, so that's not really going to work.
[1742.8s] But I've made I've made friends out there.
[1745.8s] There's a community out there.
[1747.4s] You could it's no offense to Kingstown.
[1750.1s] You know, grew up here, loved it.
[1751.8s] But yeah, you know, no, no, Kingstown's been Kingstown's been it's been good.
[1757.7s] That's been good to us for for as long as we've been here.
[1760.4s] That's that's good to know.
[1761.5s] You know, I'll I'll talk to your dad and no, not him.
[1765.8s] He can't come.
[1767.0s] That's my place.
[1769.0s] I'd prefer if he didn't.
[1771.2s] OK, OK, I'll think on it.
[1774.3s] How long are you in town for?
[1775.9s] At least a couple days.
[1777.7s] OK, well, obviously, you'll you'll you know, this won't be the last time that
[1782.5s] we'll see each other.
[1783.3s] So let me think on it today and I'll think on it before you go.
[1786.6s] I'll give you I'll give you a firm decision on what what what I can do.
[1792.2s] There's got to be somebody else who can take care of them.
[1794.3s] You've put in your time.
[1795.8s] I'm not willing to give any time and I'm not going to mince words about it, mom.
[1800.2s] That's not going to change.
[1802.8s] I knew and he he you the two of you.
[1808.2s] Not many people see eye to eye with him or he never sees eye to eye with them.
[1813.0s] I guess is probably the more appropriate.
[1814.8s] That's because he's usually cross-eyed drunk.
[1816.9s] Yeah, yeah.
[1819.0s] Anyway.
[1819.6s] Hey, Cav.
[1820.5s] How you doing, buddy?
[1822.8s] Pretty cool.
[1824.2s] Anyway, let me get you a couple of drinks.
[1827.0s] Have a look over the menu.
[1828.6s] Few new things.
[1829.4s] A few seasonal things that are in there.
[1830.8s] They're really lovely.
[1832.7s] I'll be back with those in just a sec.
[1834.8s] OK, I just I just have one question bizarre.
[1838.0s] Yeah.
[1839.6s] What is a poutine?
[1842.5s] Poutine is like, do you like cheese?
[1846.7s] Yeah.
[1848.0s] God, I hope the person saying this in my mind has got this right.
[1852.0s] But it's like it's like a curd in a way.
[1854.5s] Yeah, this sounds awesome.
[1856.2s] And I believe it's kind of fried.
[1859.4s] Maybe like a fried curd with some kind of gravy on top of it.
[1864.6s] It's got the gravy.
[1865.7s] You're so close.
[1866.6s] God, it's so close.
[1867.5s] Gravy meat.
[1869.6s] You know what?
[1870.1s] This is a magical mystery world.
[1872.2s] It's actually just like fried potatoes with, you know,
[1875.5s] some cheddar cheese, broccoli condensed soup dripped on top.
[1883.0s] And that's where we'll end today's episode with the bastardization of poutine.
[1889.4s] Dumbgeons and Dragons, season four, episode eight, starring Amy More as Alydin,
[1897.2s] Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane, Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave,
[1901.4s] Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard and Russ More as your Dungeon Master.
[1906.2s] Dialogue editing by Carla Maxted and sound design by Russ More.
[1910.2s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and Slipstream
[1913.8s] and sound effects from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
[1918.3s] Our amazing cover art and character designs are by Matt Garbutt.
[1922.0s] And a huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[1924.6s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak, Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
[1928.7s] Christian Brown, Ongorong Kiersen, Perry Matey,
[1932.0s] Old School Gamer D, Craig Zeiss, L.A. Branton and Sarah Murphy.
[1936.7s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast,
[1939.4s] and you can find us at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast,
[1942.5s] where you get an episode dedication, a whole bunch of exclusive content,
[1946.6s] access to exclusive community channels in our Discord, hangouts and so much more.
[1951.8s] We can't wait to see you over there.
[1953.8s] Oh, and merch. Merch is over there too.
[1957.0s] After three months, we'll send you some.
[1959.8s] Just like that. Join us today.
[1961.5s] But until then, have a great week and we'll talk to you soon.
[1967.3s] The two of you are up at the front of the ship.
[1971.0s] We did an entire arc where there were a whole bunch of ship terms.
[1975.1s] Couldn't tell you what the front of the ship was.
[1976.8s] Bow. The bow.
[1978.4s] The bow.
[1980.7s] Read the note.
[1981.7s] I thought that was Kyle just telling me.
[1983.3s] Read the note Amy. Tell us what it says.
[1988.0s] What does that note say, Alydin?
[1991.0s] No, sorry. No, I don't know. I can't read.
[1995.4s] This is the best bit. Russ passed it off to Kyle.
[1997.8s] Kyle passed it off to Amy.
[1999.7s] But then Amy, net block.
[2001.5s] Alydin can't read.
[2003.6s] I don't know how to read.
[2005.6s] Bonwynder eat it.
[2010.4s] Cabs on a boat. Thank God. Carrier pigeon.
[2015.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.