1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,839 Dumbgeons and Dragons begins in one moment, we swear. 2 00:00:07,839 --> 00:00:12,240 We hear the sound of hammering and busy work happening down in the docks. 3 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:18,400 And Bizard and Alydin and Bonwyn are at those buns dough and getting a morning 4 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:22,280 coffee. And it's been a been a little bit since you've seen each other. 5 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:29,120 And Bizard has some interesting information that he is imparting upon you 6 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:33,160 from his recent adventures with Kavlaran, who's notably missing at this moment. 7 00:00:33,359 --> 00:00:36,439 So what's the deal? You just aren't going to help rebuild? 8 00:00:36,439 --> 00:00:37,200 Like we've been here. 9 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:38,760 Alydin's been here swinging a hammer. 10 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:42,400 Like we've been rebuilding four times and she holds a hand up and she's 11 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,480 like fully like all bandaged up. 12 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:49,600 But learning experiences each and every blow, each and every blow is a 13 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:50,679 learning experience. 14 00:00:50,679 --> 00:00:56,560 But like, dude, you and Kavlaran just like boys weekend or what happened? 15 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:57,880 We're expecting to see you. 16 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:05,840 Well, actually, the mayor and Edna pulled us in to the offices, which was 17 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:07,320 very, very nerve wracking. 18 00:01:09,079 --> 00:01:11,159 But it's not what you think. 19 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:16,680 Instead, they had us go with these monster hunters, I mean, Pinnance, 20 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:21,920 Olive Tree and Bond and Love and go to where the monsters were. 21 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:25,520 So you remember, like the old mine shaft thing? 22 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:26,920 Yes, the old mines. 23 00:01:27,359 --> 00:01:33,040 We actually went further down into them, made our way down there and 24 00:01:33,359 --> 00:01:36,560 discovered the source of these monsters. 25 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:41,280 Tried to take out one, but I tried to take notes on it. 26 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:43,960 It's like a nest or like a den? 27 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:46,520 Well, probably somewhere, but it's on the other side of some kind of 28 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:51,000 portal that's now no longer there or we caved it in. 29 00:01:51,599 --> 00:01:55,000 OK. I was taking notes and then all of a sudden I had to run. 30 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,840 So. But good news. 31 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:01,840 Portal brings monsters portal gone. 32 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:05,640 We all lived happily ever after in our newly rebuilt town. 33 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,000 How do you cave in a portal? 34 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,719 I'd like to know, too. 35 00:02:09,719 --> 00:02:12,840 Uh, man, it was such a blur. 36 00:02:13,439 --> 00:02:16,800 I believe we just attacked the the people were attacking 37 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:20,879 stalactites, trying to use them as weapons. 38 00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:23,680 And that kind of just started a chain reaction. 39 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,920 You know, next thing you know, the rocks come a tumbling down. 40 00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:28,760 So the rocks came down on top of it. 41 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:32,400 But then they didn't fall through it and into the where the other side 42 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:33,640 of the portal is. 43 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:36,360 Well, it was it was it wasn't a wasn't a horizontal. 44 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,280 It was a vertical like a doorway. 45 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:40,000 It looked like this. 46 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:43,840 And I pull out my my little notebook that I was like sketching of. 47 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,040 It's like it looked like this. 48 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,560 So like covered up the door. 49 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,319 Exactly. With with a lot of heavy rocks. 50 00:02:50,319 --> 00:02:53,000 And I know they're strong, but hopefully not that strong. 51 00:02:53,319 --> 00:02:56,599 I feel like it's a bandaid when we needed like sutures. 52 00:02:56,919 --> 00:02:59,479 I don't know if they have the engineering skills, 53 00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:03,159 those particular creatures to maybe figure that out. 54 00:03:03,479 --> 00:03:07,000 The excavation, not to be a downer. 55 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,319 Who knows what else is on the other side of that portal, though. 56 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,280 That's a very, very good point. 57 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,479 And I mean, what are they going to do? Shout at the rocks. 58 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:18,479 They probably would. 59 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:24,920 But yeah, I really would love to like maybe do some research. 60 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:29,000 I know sometimes portals, the color of it sometimes 61 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,120 correlate to the destination. 62 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,640 Was it some situations? 63 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,520 Um, so the color of it was kind of 64 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,640 indigo in a way. 65 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:42,600 You know, hints of blue purple is kind of very amorphous 66 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,560 as far as the color spectrum goes there. 67 00:03:46,879 --> 00:03:51,199 But but yeah, no, seem to be the source of it. 68 00:03:51,199 --> 00:03:53,479 So hopefully there's no other portals. 69 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:56,240 God knows why that one was specifically there. 70 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,159 Can portals just show up like wherever they want to? 71 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,120 Does someone need to put it there? 72 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,199 Do we need to find the person who put the portal there? 73 00:04:05,039 --> 00:04:07,240 Is somebody sending monsters? 74 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:12,120 Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast. 75 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,280 And I'm your dungeon master, Russ More. 76 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:19,040 Also joining me today is Amy More as Alydin, she her. 77 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,120 Please don't steal anything while I'm gone. 78 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:24,240 Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane, she her. 79 00:04:24,319 --> 00:04:27,639 Your draw length, your inseam, your waist circumference, 80 00:04:27,639 --> 00:04:28,639 just all the measurements. 81 00:04:28,639 --> 00:04:31,720 And Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard, he him. 82 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,959 We've swapped places. He owns the store now. 83 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,120 Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon supported podcast. 84 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:40,560 And you can join us today at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast. 85 00:04:40,639 --> 00:04:43,720 There's a seven day free trial and a whole bunch of episodes 86 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:44,880 for you to listen to. 87 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:46,360 We hope to see you over there. 88 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,160 And now fuck it. Let's play. 89 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:59,160 Bizarre, we're at your your home above the magic closet. 90 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:04,520 You and Kavlaran have been putting off your trip to Kingstown 91 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:06,760 basically as long as you can, 92 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:10,000 while the docks are getting fixed and while traders 93 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,800 are starting to come back into town. 94 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:16,319 You're getting close to thinking that this is a prime opportunity to go 95 00:05:16,319 --> 00:05:20,319 and you're taking a moment and just getting some things together. 96 00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:22,879 Are you an overpacker, a light packer? 97 00:05:22,879 --> 00:05:25,680 How many pairs of underwear is Bizarre packing? 98 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,040 How many days are you going for and how many pairs of underwear? 99 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:30,199 I'm only going to take a couple of pairs of underwear, 100 00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:33,280 because if Kavlaran and mine's plan are going to go through, 101 00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:34,519 we're going to go to a chest of drawers. 102 00:05:34,519 --> 00:05:36,240 You're going to get like 30 new pairs of underwear. 103 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:38,439 Buy some new fancy underwears. 104 00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:40,519 So we'll be good on that. 105 00:05:40,519 --> 00:05:44,919 I'll pack two, two plus one in case, you know, 106 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:49,279 accidents happen, in case you shit yourself every day for the first three days. 107 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:49,919 Yeah, I never know. 108 00:05:49,919 --> 00:05:52,839 So, yeah, you know, fairly light packer overall. 109 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:54,039 I need my spell book. 110 00:05:54,039 --> 00:05:59,000 You know, I need I always got to have some parchment and pen on me, some ink. 111 00:05:59,479 --> 00:06:01,319 So you're going back to your alma mater. 112 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:03,639 Do you have like 19 capes with you or? 113 00:06:04,399 --> 00:06:08,639 Oh, no, no, I'm not going to wear the official regalia on a trip. 114 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:13,399 I brought it with me, but that's not traveling, traveling gear. 115 00:06:13,959 --> 00:06:16,639 You are tossing things into a satchel 116 00:06:17,639 --> 00:06:20,919 and you hear the bell chime downstairs, 117 00:06:21,599 --> 00:06:24,439 which you don't rush to because, you know, Alydin's down there. 118 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:30,120 We cut downstairs to Alydin and you are busy stocking shelves, 119 00:06:31,079 --> 00:06:34,399 getting getting things put away and 120 00:06:35,399 --> 00:06:38,439 some heavy footsteps come in to the magic closet. 121 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:44,759 You turn and you see a tall, thin man in a 122 00:06:45,599 --> 00:06:49,560 a long, very floral colored cloak. 123 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:54,759 He has very slicked back hair and a 124 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:59,879 a well quaffed goatee, and he walks up to the desk 125 00:06:59,879 --> 00:07:03,839 and is looking around and kind of over the desk and seeing. 126 00:07:04,159 --> 00:07:07,519 It's appears he hasn't noticed you rings a bell on the desk 127 00:07:07,519 --> 00:07:10,799 and is kind of checking checking his pocket watch 128 00:07:10,799 --> 00:07:14,159 and is waiting for someone to come to the front. 129 00:07:14,879 --> 00:07:18,439 Hi. Oh, oh, oh, oh, hello. 130 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,240 Do you work here? 131 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:25,560 No, don't tell anybody. 132 00:07:25,759 --> 00:07:30,319 And then I pretend to put the things that I was putting on the shelf, like in my. 133 00:07:32,039 --> 00:07:35,240 Ah, OK, OK, of course, of course. 134 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,079 Just kidding. Totally kidding. 135 00:07:37,079 --> 00:07:38,560 What can I help you with? 136 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,759 Oh, well, I came to see the proprietor of this fine establishment. 137 00:07:42,919 --> 00:07:45,560 But it appears that he's he's not here. 138 00:07:45,959 --> 00:07:50,759 Well, what can what are you to what are you going to be? 139 00:07:50,759 --> 00:07:52,800 What would you like him for? 140 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:57,120 Well, I have some I come I come through town every now and again. 141 00:07:57,399 --> 00:08:02,360 Bizarre knows me very well, but I've come to sell some of my wares to him. 142 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:07,759 I've got new tricks for him to put out and sell to the kids. 143 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,439 Can I see? Oh, of course. 144 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:16,240 He opens his cloak and pulls out this fabric wrapped item 145 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,879 and he begins to unroll it on the desk. 146 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:24,600 And it is a long cylinder that he has inside of there, 147 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,680 which is metal, and it has holes all through it. 148 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:31,920 And he puts it down and smiles and says, ah, 149 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:39,000 ah, ah, yes, yes, you see, you see the value in this. 150 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,720 Yes. Yeah. Yeah. What is it? 151 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:46,919 Oh, well, it's a it's a it's a some of the kids call them boomsticks. 152 00:08:48,519 --> 00:08:51,080 So like like an explosive. 153 00:08:51,159 --> 00:08:54,080 Oh, a feigned explosion. 154 00:08:54,399 --> 00:08:58,200 More than anything, more of a crackler really just sets 155 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,120 sets things alive at a party. 156 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,639 See, you pick it up here. He hands it to you. 157 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:07,120 Do you take it? No. Oh, sorry. 158 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,039 I once almost blew my fingers off. 159 00:09:09,039 --> 00:09:11,159 If you wouldn't mind showing me how to how to do it. 160 00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:13,279 Oh, what's your name? 161 00:09:13,279 --> 00:09:15,679 Alydin. And you are? I'm William. 162 00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:17,919 Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, William. 163 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,720 So all you do here is you twist the ends, 164 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,720 clicks into place, and then there's one final snap 165 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:28,039 and then lights begin to shoot out of all of the holes, 166 00:09:28,039 --> 00:09:31,159 different colors, and they spin around the room wildly. 167 00:09:31,799 --> 00:09:34,000 And you just place it here. 168 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,759 And after a few moments, it begins to crackle 169 00:09:36,759 --> 00:09:39,079 and you hear this like the fizzle inside of it. 170 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:41,759 And then sparks begin to come out of it. 171 00:09:41,759 --> 00:09:43,199 Don't worry, it's completely safe. 172 00:09:43,199 --> 00:09:46,240 Nothing in wooden is going to be set a set of blaze. 173 00:09:46,399 --> 00:09:48,919 OK, good, because I don't know if you know what our town just went through, 174 00:09:48,919 --> 00:09:50,399 but everything was just a blaze. 175 00:09:50,399 --> 00:09:52,879 It seems like think what happened. 176 00:09:52,879 --> 00:09:55,240 Do tell, do tell. Monsters. 177 00:09:56,039 --> 00:10:00,159 Oh. So how long does this go on for? 178 00:10:00,159 --> 00:10:01,799 Oh, it goes on indefinitely. 179 00:10:01,799 --> 00:10:04,560 And he turns it off and wraps it back up and says, 180 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:10,440 do you have a say over what stock goes into this establishment? 181 00:10:10,519 --> 00:10:14,480 Well, I am a very close confidant of 182 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:19,320 Mr. Bizard, and 183 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:24,759 yeah, I do think that my he my opinion is very high. 184 00:10:25,399 --> 00:10:27,120 Um, to him. 185 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,720 So I could put you down for 50 then. 186 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:29,440 That's the usual order. 187 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,519 Let's just hold on a second here. 188 00:10:31,519 --> 00:10:33,000 I could fill up the paperwork. 189 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,080 No. Oh, they hardly, hardly anything. 190 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:37,519 Half a silver each. 191 00:10:37,519 --> 00:10:40,000 Hmm. Can I see it? 192 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:44,519 Of course, he pulls back out of his cloak, unravels it 193 00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:46,759 and places it down on the table for you. 194 00:10:46,759 --> 00:10:48,919 Does each one come individually wrapped? 195 00:10:48,919 --> 00:10:51,320 Of course. Only the finest. 196 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:52,440 How is it powered? 197 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:55,039 And I pick it up and I start to like 198 00:10:55,039 --> 00:10:57,000 inspect it. 199 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,599 Oh, well, it's it's magic, my dear. 200 00:11:00,599 --> 00:11:01,559 Don't patronize me. 201 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:02,559 A.B. Spanx. 202 00:11:04,319 --> 00:11:06,079 Best dirty look. 203 00:11:06,079 --> 00:11:07,559 And I'm not your dear. 204 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:08,639 Hmm. 205 00:11:08,639 --> 00:11:10,480 Oh, I'm very sorry. 206 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:11,759 It did not mean to offend. 207 00:11:11,759 --> 00:11:13,000 No, no, no, it's fine. It's fine. 208 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,279 I know people think that I'm a lot younger than there is 209 00:11:15,279 --> 00:11:19,039 an enchantment placed upon it that when activated 210 00:11:19,039 --> 00:11:21,559 puts the runes, as you can see, he points. 211 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:24,639 And this is there's runes all along the top and bottom. 212 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,080 Lines them up so that they are in position, 213 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,000 which activates the device. 214 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,439 Okay. Okay. 215 00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:33,960 May I take this just to the back for a quick moment 216 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:37,199 to confer with Bizard? 217 00:11:37,199 --> 00:11:38,720 Oh, oh, of course. 218 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,279 He's here. 219 00:11:40,279 --> 00:11:41,120 Yes? 220 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:42,319 Maybe. 221 00:11:42,319 --> 00:11:43,319 Okay. 222 00:11:43,319 --> 00:11:46,159 I will wait here for you to come back then. 223 00:11:46,159 --> 00:11:47,360 I hope it goes well. 224 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,519 Please don't steal anything while I'm gone. 225 00:11:49,519 --> 00:11:51,279 Wouldn't dream of it. 226 00:11:51,279 --> 00:11:53,360 Hard to get business if you steal from the people 227 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:56,519 that you're trying to sell your things to, right? 228 00:11:56,519 --> 00:11:58,440 Yeah, but wouldn't it really be the best business 229 00:11:58,440 --> 00:11:59,720 because you'd be selling them back 230 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,360 the stuff you stole from them? 231 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:02,200 Don't do that. 232 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,120 I wouldn't do it. 233 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:03,960 All right. 234 00:12:04,879 --> 00:12:05,720 Up the stairs. 235 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:09,240 Knock, knock. 236 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:10,279 Open the door up. 237 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,519 Alydin, I hear we have some business downstairs. 238 00:12:14,519 --> 00:12:15,480 What's that? 239 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:20,480 This is a light sparkler whiz banger. 240 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:21,639 Banger? 241 00:12:21,639 --> 00:12:25,200 No, that's copywritten. 242 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:26,600 No, I mean, you know, 243 00:12:27,759 --> 00:12:30,159 if that describes what it does, 244 00:12:30,159 --> 00:12:32,000 I mean, it's a fairly mundane name, I think overall. 245 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,240 Boomstick, that's what he called it. 246 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:35,080 Oh. 247 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:35,920 You know William? 248 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:36,759 That's fun. 249 00:12:36,759 --> 00:12:38,159 He? 250 00:12:38,159 --> 00:12:39,840 William, William. 251 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,680 I've met Williams in the past. 252 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:47,000 He's dressed in the color floral 253 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,960 because that's what I was told. 254 00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,560 He's dressed in floral colors. 255 00:12:54,159 --> 00:12:55,080 Oh. 256 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,680 I wrote it down. 257 00:12:56,680 --> 00:13:00,360 He wants half a silver each for these. 258 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,680 They do come individually wrapped. 259 00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,320 It is pretty. 260 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:08,879 Wait, he's trying to sell them to us? 261 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:12,440 Was this guy's hair slicked back? 262 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,080 Did he give you a last name? 263 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,240 No. 264 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:17,759 I wonder if it's William Vanderhoof. 265 00:13:17,759 --> 00:13:19,440 Should I not have left him downstairs? 266 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:20,720 I told him not to steal. 267 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:25,640 If it's the guy I'm thinking of, it should be fine. 268 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,560 Well, you've got enchantments on the place anyway. 269 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:30,880 People can't take things out without exchanging money. 270 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,080 Oh yeah, it's just, 271 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:37,880 I haven't had anybody come by to sell things. 272 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:40,760 Typically, as you know, I make them all myself. 273 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:44,240 That way I can guarantee the quality of the product. 274 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,960 I don't know if I'm opposed to it or not yet. 275 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:49,160 So I tell you what, let's go talk to this William. 276 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:51,640 See if I actually do know them or not, 277 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:55,440 or if they are just lying to you 278 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,520 since they have the opportunity to do so. 279 00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:02,160 Very, I didn't like the cut of this guy's jib. 280 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:05,040 Let me tell you, because he talked down to me 281 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:05,880 and I didn't like it. 282 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,160 If you could maybe just pretend 283 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:09,160 like I am like a really close confidant 284 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:10,400 and you don't make any decisions 285 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,400 without talking to me first, that'd be really great. 286 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:13,800 I think I could manage that. 287 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:17,360 I don't want to undercut you or anything like you are 288 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:19,840 while you're an employee. 289 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,600 I also don't have any qualms 290 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,240 with you being a business associate. 291 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,680 You are in touch with the youth of this town, 292 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,800 so I would expect you to know better 293 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,879 what they may enjoy. 294 00:14:29,879 --> 00:14:30,840 So I have some new things 295 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:32,320 that I may want you to hand out to them, 296 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,600 see if they really, see if they like them or not. 297 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:37,039 We'll get to that after we talk to this William though. 298 00:14:37,039 --> 00:14:38,519 Lead the way, boss. 299 00:14:38,519 --> 00:14:43,519 Oh, she puffs up her chest, so she's so excited. 300 00:14:44,079 --> 00:14:47,480 You head back downstairs into the store 301 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,559 and you get down there 302 00:14:49,559 --> 00:14:53,000 and you immediately do not see anybody in the room. 303 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,159 Hey, it's here, I promise. 304 00:14:55,159 --> 00:14:57,480 Oh, I believe you, because I didn't make this. 305 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,480 Hey, did you know? 306 00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,319 Unless. 307 00:15:00,439 --> 00:15:02,360 Magic makes this thing work. 308 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,319 Alydin gives you a stare. 309 00:15:06,319 --> 00:15:07,240 I'm going to observe it 310 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,360 and I'm going to check it 311 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,519 for any kind of like archonic runes 312 00:15:10,519 --> 00:15:15,480 or anything that I would do to my magic devices 313 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:16,879 that would tell me if that's true or not. 314 00:15:16,879 --> 00:15:18,879 Yeah, make an arcana roll. 315 00:15:18,879 --> 00:15:19,720 Beautiful. 316 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,480 Bizarre does not have his coffee, that's a nine. 317 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,439 You give it a quick look over. 318 00:15:25,439 --> 00:15:26,960 It does have runes 319 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,879 around the top and bottom of the device. 320 00:15:29,879 --> 00:15:32,600 As you spin them back and forth, 321 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:34,039 it seems to activate the device 322 00:15:34,039 --> 00:15:36,600 once they get to a certain position. 323 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,759 And then once you break that sequence, 324 00:15:39,799 --> 00:15:41,559 it turns off the device. 325 00:15:42,679 --> 00:15:46,960 As you go up to the register, to the front desk, 326 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:51,960 you see there is a package set down on the desk 327 00:15:52,799 --> 00:15:57,000 with a sealed envelope on top. 328 00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:00,480 Is there a specific seal? 329 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:03,840 Like is it a wax seal or any kind of? 330 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:06,759 You turn it over and there is a wax seal on it. 331 00:16:06,759 --> 00:16:10,439 It has an inscription or an insignia 332 00:16:10,439 --> 00:16:13,279 that looks like a magic wand 333 00:16:13,279 --> 00:16:18,000 with a flourish of sparkles coming out of the end. 334 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,399 Do I recognize that? 335 00:16:19,399 --> 00:16:20,840 Roll history. 336 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,399 There we go, he must had coffee, it's a 19. 337 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:27,840 It looks similar to a logo or a signature 338 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:30,720 or something that I'll let you determine 339 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:32,240 whether they were friend or not, 340 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,279 but someone you went to school with. 341 00:16:35,199 --> 00:16:39,799 You remember them being William Vanderhootz. 342 00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:40,639 Okay. 343 00:16:41,799 --> 00:16:45,799 We'll be right back. 344 00:16:45,799 --> 00:16:48,439 It's The Middle. 345 00:16:48,439 --> 00:16:50,439 Welcome to The Middle, friends. 346 00:16:50,439 --> 00:16:51,799 I hope you're having a great week. 347 00:16:51,799 --> 00:16:54,679 We're all here just to say, thanks for being here. 348 00:16:54,679 --> 00:16:56,879 Yeah, absolutely. 349 00:16:56,879 --> 00:16:58,079 We love to have you, 350 00:16:58,079 --> 00:17:00,000 love seeing you at Only Adventure. 351 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:05,440 Just out on the high seas and on the road, 352 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:08,240 less traveled. 353 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:12,480 On the sidewalk, in the bakery, everywhere. 354 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,759 On the boardwalk, down the pier. 355 00:17:14,759 --> 00:17:16,039 You know what I didn't do 356 00:17:16,039 --> 00:17:17,920 is hit record on my local device. 357 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:22,319 So we're just pulling straight Amy and Russ audio 358 00:17:22,319 --> 00:17:24,160 off this other microphone. 359 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,960 And I'll pull that out from the actual recording 360 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,480 so I don't just jump into the show. 361 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,680 You know how it is. 362 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:33,720 Anyway, where we only sometimes forget to hit record 363 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:38,160 is over on Patreon, patreon.com slash dumb dragon cat. 364 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,960 How mad would Tom be? 365 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,440 He runs that show. 366 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:42,279 That's right. 367 00:17:42,279 --> 00:17:43,640 That'd be fine. 368 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:44,480 Yeah. 369 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,279 What if we had to do it again? 370 00:17:46,279 --> 00:17:47,200 Wouldn't be the same. 371 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,200 We just wouldn't. 372 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,039 We'd do something else. 373 00:17:49,039 --> 00:17:49,880 He just wouldn't. 374 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:50,720 Yeah. 375 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:51,560 Rework it, reshape it. 376 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,480 It'd be lost to time, 377 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,240 only what you remember you can bring back in. 378 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,600 Like the live show. 379 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:58,440 Yeah. 380 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:00,240 We have that. 381 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,559 I mean, we could probably release that live show. 382 00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:05,279 It does sound like a bunch of robots on stage though. 383 00:18:05,279 --> 00:18:07,759 So you let us know. 384 00:18:07,759 --> 00:18:09,640 Do you want to hear robots on stage? 385 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,279 I don't even think it's an option. 386 00:18:11,279 --> 00:18:12,600 I don't, yeah. 387 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,039 I don't recommend it. 388 00:18:14,039 --> 00:18:15,640 I asked. 389 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:16,720 We should just post it. 390 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:17,559 But the title is, 391 00:18:17,559 --> 00:18:19,000 I don't recommend listening to this. 392 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,759 Yeah, don't listen to this. 393 00:18:20,759 --> 00:18:22,320 It'll be our most listened to episode. 394 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:23,160 And then people are gonna be like, 395 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,000 I'm gonna listen to it. 396 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:24,840 Just listen everywhere. 397 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,480 Just cause mom and dad told me not to. 398 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,000 These idiots have been doing a podcast for how many years 399 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,920 and this is the best they can do? 400 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,160 Dee Snider would be on board for sure. 401 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,000 You know what? 402 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:36,839 He probably would be. 403 00:18:36,839 --> 00:18:38,200 Yeah. 404 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,759 So when you come over to Patreon, 405 00:18:39,759 --> 00:18:41,400 you get a whole bunch of exclusive content. 406 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,480 So if you're caught up on this show, 407 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:48,079 which means you've listened to more than 300 hours, 408 00:18:48,079 --> 00:18:50,319 which is probably more than 400. 409 00:18:50,319 --> 00:18:51,160 That's a lift. 410 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:52,200 In 300 episodes, 411 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,360 so more than 400 hours of content. 412 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,800 Of great, great adventure, not content. 413 00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:58,640 Great, great adventure. 414 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,160 Great adventure. 415 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:01,200 Fun time with friends. 416 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,760 Come on over to Patreon, 417 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,440 where we have an equivalent number of episodes. 418 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:07,840 Yes. 419 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:08,680 This is all we do, you guys. 420 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:09,520 That's not true. 421 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:11,960 A lot of them are downtime, 422 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,000 so they're much shorter, 423 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,680 but there's probably another 200 hours 424 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:17,640 of stuff over there. 425 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,360 And it's a lot of fun. 426 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:21,440 But you also get an episode dedicated to you. 427 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:22,280 Yeah, yeah. 428 00:19:22,279 --> 00:19:26,960 Today's patron, Coe Sellsgabber. 429 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,399 Coe Sellsgabber. 430 00:19:28,399 --> 00:19:31,399 I mean, I don't even know where to start on that one, 431 00:19:31,399 --> 00:19:33,359 other than to say thank you. 432 00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:34,200 I like it. 433 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:35,039 Thanks, Coe. 434 00:19:35,039 --> 00:19:35,920 Thanks, Coe. 435 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,039 You rock. Yeah, appreciate it. 436 00:19:37,039 --> 00:19:39,399 Even if Russ maybe butchered your name. 437 00:19:39,399 --> 00:19:40,240 I edited it. 438 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,279 I'm pretty sure I messed it up big time. 439 00:19:42,279 --> 00:19:43,480 Absolutely. 440 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,480 I was so scared I didn't even try it. 441 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,480 Well, thanks for being here, Coe. 442 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:49,839 We really appreciate you. 443 00:19:49,839 --> 00:19:52,039 And if you want to be like Coe, 444 00:19:52,079 --> 00:19:55,920 come over to patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast. 445 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,319 And we hope to see you over there. 446 00:19:57,319 --> 00:19:58,159 Thanks, friends. 447 00:19:58,159 --> 00:19:59,000 We'll talk to you soon. 448 00:19:59,000 --> 00:19:59,839 Bye now. 449 00:19:59,839 --> 00:20:00,680 Love you, bye. 450 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,519 Love you all, bye. 451 00:20:03,839 --> 00:20:06,680 So, Alydin, yes, 452 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:10,079 that was the person I was assuming it was. 453 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:16,680 And they, at school, they weren't. 454 00:20:17,279 --> 00:20:18,839 Oh, he's a school chum? 455 00:20:18,839 --> 00:20:21,480 Yeah, he's an old school friend. 456 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:24,440 But I use the term friend loosely. 457 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:29,440 I didn't make it a habit of mingling 458 00:20:30,559 --> 00:20:32,319 with the other students too much. 459 00:20:32,319 --> 00:20:35,200 Events where you were forced to, of course, 460 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,839 and that's kind of how I got to know some people. 461 00:20:37,839 --> 00:20:39,120 And William was one of them. 462 00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:43,720 One thing that we did kind of bond over 463 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:47,039 are kind of the trinkets that we like to make 464 00:20:47,039 --> 00:20:48,440 that do make fun for us 465 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,880 and maybe a little bit of mischief for others. 466 00:20:51,759 --> 00:20:54,799 However, this contraption obviously shows 467 00:20:54,799 --> 00:20:57,400 that he does not have a good air for business. 468 00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:01,920 Because look, you know, he said it just works. 469 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,360 From the looks of it, you just turn it on and it goes. 470 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:07,880 You'll have to line the runes up and then magic. 471 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:08,720 Cool. 472 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:13,720 So there is no need for somebody to buy a second one. 473 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:17,839 And right then and there is a bad business practice. 474 00:21:17,839 --> 00:21:20,039 Because how are you going to get people to return 475 00:21:20,039 --> 00:21:21,639 if the item does not get used up? 476 00:21:21,639 --> 00:21:26,639 What if the item is not really for what he says it's for? 477 00:21:26,799 --> 00:21:27,639 Ooh. 478 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:31,680 That's a good observation 479 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:34,639 that it could have nefarious intent behind it. 480 00:21:34,639 --> 00:21:36,399 It seems slimy. 481 00:21:36,399 --> 00:21:38,440 God, if he's invisible in here somewhere, 482 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,940 I'm, you know what, no, I'm not sorry. 483 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,359 I'm gonna open up the envelope. 484 00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:46,440 And inside, there's not a long letter 485 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:50,480 that just says your name at the top, bizarre. 486 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,559 And then there's just an uno reverse card. 487 00:21:52,559 --> 00:21:53,720 And it's like. 488 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,559 Oh shit. 489 00:21:55,559 --> 00:21:58,440 And then it just says, you lost the game. 490 00:21:58,440 --> 00:21:59,279 You've swapped places. 491 00:21:59,279 --> 00:22:00,400 He owns the store now. 492 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:04,480 That son of a bitch. 493 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,200 It's just a picture of somebody holding up a thing. 494 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:11,759 Jesus, it's all those things. 495 00:22:11,759 --> 00:22:14,400 It's all three of those things. 496 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,120 This guy's a real douche. 497 00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:21,120 It says, bizarre, see you in two weeks. 498 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:25,360 And then it's signed, not William Vanderhootz. 499 00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:29,040 It's signed William M. Hicks. 500 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:30,400 M, period. 501 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,720 As if he had a longer middle name, 502 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:33,560 but forgot it. 503 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:34,560 Yeah, middle initial. 504 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:35,680 M is for middle. 505 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,240 William Middle Hicks. 506 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:39,080 William Middle. 507 00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:43,800 Why are you gonna see him in two weeks? 508 00:22:43,799 --> 00:22:48,519 I have no clue, but let's. 509 00:22:50,559 --> 00:22:52,359 Does the crate seem like it's probably 510 00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:55,519 about holding a lot of these fucking boomsticks? 511 00:22:55,519 --> 00:22:57,159 They're about the same size. 512 00:22:57,159 --> 00:22:59,919 And it looks like perhaps a stacked crate 513 00:22:59,919 --> 00:23:01,519 full of these boomsticks. 514 00:23:01,519 --> 00:23:03,759 Is this, is this crate sealed? 515 00:23:05,039 --> 00:23:08,839 With a small latch, it's not locked or anything. 516 00:23:08,839 --> 00:23:12,079 I'll grab a quick padlock and I'm gonna put it 517 00:23:12,079 --> 00:23:14,079 on there and then I'm gonna shove this 518 00:23:14,079 --> 00:23:15,919 in the back corner of a room. 519 00:23:15,919 --> 00:23:20,279 And I'm gonna write defective on it. 520 00:23:20,279 --> 00:23:25,279 What if they're, what if they're spy sticks? 521 00:23:25,319 --> 00:23:30,319 Damn it, you are, you are a good business associate. 522 00:23:30,519 --> 00:23:31,359 Thank you. 523 00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:35,799 I actually will keep this one 524 00:23:35,799 --> 00:23:40,079 and start dismantling it once I have the opportunity. 525 00:23:41,079 --> 00:23:42,439 We're gonna get to the bottom of this 526 00:23:42,439 --> 00:23:45,480 because somebody showing up and trying to sell me things 527 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:47,960 is, well, not how I've ever done business. 528 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,639 And I, but here, back to what I was saying. 529 00:23:50,639 --> 00:23:53,720 Why don't you, here, try out this new gum that I've made. 530 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,319 That's really good. 531 00:24:04,799 --> 00:24:08,559 Over at EverBains, Bonwyn, you've spent 532 00:24:08,599 --> 00:24:12,039 the last few days trying to clean up the mess 533 00:24:12,039 --> 00:24:15,399 that the monster created coming through your floor 534 00:24:15,399 --> 00:24:17,440 and out your front door. 535 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:21,839 Still haven't completed the front facade yet. 536 00:24:21,839 --> 00:24:24,799 You and Thane are still putting things away, 537 00:24:24,799 --> 00:24:26,960 trying to get some work done, 538 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:31,359 small jobs here and there or as you clear a workstation. 539 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:34,119 As you are getting ready to start 540 00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:37,359 on one of these projects, there's a small knock 541 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,280 at what used to be the door 542 00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,960 and it's now just a broken wooden frame. 543 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:44,000 Hey. 544 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:49,000 You turn and you look and there's a middle-aged man, 545 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:51,800 salt and pepper hair, 546 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,320 little rough and scraggly around the edges 547 00:24:56,320 --> 00:25:01,120 and he takes a step in and says, hello. 548 00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:07,120 I came to town today and realized that there's been 549 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,800 a many things going on. 550 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,560 Is everybody okay here? 551 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:17,440 Oh, we're, we are okay. 552 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,280 Not everyone is okay. 553 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:21,120 It was quite a thing. 554 00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:22,920 Oh, it looks like it. 555 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:26,240 My name is Folan Varam. 556 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:30,520 I came to town more as, well, 557 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:33,240 trying to acquire some goods 558 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:37,000 to go out further adventuring beyond here 559 00:25:37,839 --> 00:25:42,839 and knew that Everbane's has such a renowned reputation 560 00:25:44,759 --> 00:25:46,480 throughout the lands, 561 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,960 but I don't want to put anything on you 562 00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:54,799 that might be taking away from rebuilding. 563 00:25:54,799 --> 00:25:57,440 Oh, you're very, very sweet. 564 00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:00,359 We do, I mean, what kind of things are you looking for? 565 00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:04,160 We, you know, we have some items. 566 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,799 There are some things we can put together 567 00:26:06,799 --> 00:26:07,639 pretty quickly. 568 00:26:07,639 --> 00:26:09,639 I mean, Thane over there has been making hammerheads 569 00:26:09,639 --> 00:26:13,639 like nobody's business as we're rebuilding the city, 570 00:26:13,639 --> 00:26:16,279 but what are you looking for? 571 00:26:16,279 --> 00:26:19,119 Well, me and a couple others, 572 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:21,519 we were supposed to be meeting up here. 573 00:26:21,519 --> 00:26:23,279 It may take them a few extra days 574 00:26:23,279 --> 00:26:25,319 now knowing the current state 575 00:26:25,319 --> 00:26:27,359 of the comings and goings of the town, 576 00:26:28,319 --> 00:26:31,960 but we are going on, 577 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:37,000 well, you see, we've been tied into our work 578 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,720 and our lives and our jobs for far too long 579 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:42,640 and thought perhaps that we'd go out on the road 580 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,799 and see what good fortune is out there. 581 00:26:45,799 --> 00:26:49,960 So we've been told that having sturdy weapons 582 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:54,400 is something that is something we should have. 583 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:58,360 So although not the strongest, 584 00:26:58,360 --> 00:26:59,759 I have been working, 585 00:26:59,839 --> 00:27:03,400 he holds up his arms, they're like sticks. 586 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:05,759 I have been working, I've been trying to make sure 587 00:27:05,759 --> 00:27:09,799 that I can lift anything, 588 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:15,440 but I hear that you make some lighter weaponry, 589 00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:18,160 some, perhaps a long sword, 590 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:21,519 perhaps something that otherwise would be quite cumbersome 591 00:27:21,519 --> 00:27:23,839 for someone of my figure and my stature 592 00:27:23,839 --> 00:27:26,559 and make it a bit lighter. 593 00:27:26,559 --> 00:27:28,000 You heard right. 594 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:33,000 Yeah, I definitely specialize in creating weapons, 595 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:38,680 well, for all types of people of all abilities, 596 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,279 always of the finest quality, 597 00:27:40,279 --> 00:27:42,680 always very sharp, very capable, 598 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:46,799 but yes, I can definitely make it lighter. 599 00:27:46,799 --> 00:27:49,680 As he enters the room and pulls down his hood, 600 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,160 you see that he's a half-elven man. 601 00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:54,240 Where are you heading on your adventures? 602 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:55,839 Because that might make a difference. 603 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,440 Sword shape, if you're heading somewhere jungly, 604 00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:00,040 you'd want something with more of a curve 605 00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:02,240 so you can really cut through the brush. 606 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:07,000 Well, I was coming from Kingstown Way, 607 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,360 not specifically Kingstown, 608 00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:10,720 but just beyond there at a little port city, 609 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,520 and heading off and over the Me Mountains, 610 00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:19,520 I hear that there is a dense rainforest 611 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,400 that has been on my list to go visit 612 00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:26,680 for forever now. 613 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:28,960 That's where we're headed, first stop, 614 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:32,240 and then I've been collecting stories along the way 615 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:36,560 to see if there's anywhere else that I'd like to visit. 616 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,240 Do you know of anything, anywhere around here, 617 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:41,519 perhaps while I'm waiting for my friends, 618 00:28:41,519 --> 00:28:45,480 that would be of interest to a person like myself? 619 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,519 Well, I hate to be a negative Nellie, 620 00:28:47,519 --> 00:28:49,080 but I am gonna tell you two places 621 00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:51,160 you maybe shouldn't go. 622 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:53,120 There are some parts of the Me Mountains 623 00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:56,360 you're probably going to want to avoid. 624 00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:59,680 Bit of what you see here is a result 625 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:01,640 of some creatures from there, 626 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,720 but I can show you exactly on a map where to avoid, 627 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:05,560 and you should be fine. 628 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:08,800 There's many, many routes through the mountains, 629 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,880 and if you go to the lake, which you should, 630 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:13,200 it's beautiful. 631 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:14,240 Excellent. 632 00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,560 That's Lake Vochtig over there, yes. 633 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:17,840 Lake Vochtig, exactly. 634 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,040 Yeah, have you been down that way yet, 635 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:20,880 or did you come right here? 636 00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:24,640 I've seen the signs, and familiar with the area. 637 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:28,360 I've been here some time ago, heard of Everbanes. 638 00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:30,280 I believe I met your father once, 639 00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:34,880 would have been much longer ago than I care to count. 640 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,400 Well, him and my mom retired down onto the lake, 641 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:41,120 so you know, that's got the Everbane seal of approval. 642 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:41,960 Fantastic. 643 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,760 Just maybe avoid the islands. 644 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:45,320 For any particular reason? 645 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:48,200 No, just I would say as a resident, 646 00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:50,600 probably safe as just to avoid there, but. 647 00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:52,160 I'm not a great swimmer anyway, 648 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,560 so I'll just stick around, stick around the shores. 649 00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:56,400 Yes, yes, yes. 650 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:58,960 Yeah, it's really too bad you weren't here 651 00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,280 just, you know, one week ago. 652 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:03,000 We had a lovely waterfront. 653 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,680 Yes, yes, I hear, like I've heard Vintersmouth 654 00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:10,520 is a flourishing, very rich town. 655 00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:13,680 Like it's surprising, like how long, how many nights? 656 00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:14,520 Oh, well. 657 00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:15,880 Has this happened very recently? 658 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:17,680 How long ago did this event happen? 659 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:19,200 Well, quite recently, 660 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:24,279 there is some sort of maybe income inequality 661 00:30:24,279 --> 00:30:28,759 in Vintersmouth on this side of the river. 662 00:30:28,759 --> 00:30:30,840 This is where the working folk are. 663 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:34,080 And on the other side of the river is more, 664 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:36,880 how do I put this? 665 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,320 Kind of more like where the rich assholes live. 666 00:30:40,279 --> 00:30:42,039 Some of them are very nice. 667 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:47,440 And apologies if you yourself are rich. 668 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:49,160 Most of my clients are. 669 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,320 So perhaps I shouldn't be saying such things. 670 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:56,320 Just having money does not justify a lot of the actions 671 00:30:57,039 --> 00:30:59,440 that one necessarily takes once they come into. 672 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,320 Exactly, exactly. 673 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:05,160 There's a way to have money and still be a good person. 674 00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:10,160 Is the current mayoral office still held by, 675 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:13,240 is it Mayor Knops? 676 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:15,039 Yep, yep, Mayor Knops. 677 00:31:15,039 --> 00:31:18,599 Still the head man in charge. 678 00:31:18,599 --> 00:31:20,920 It's been a while. 679 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:21,799 Well. Yeah. 680 00:31:23,519 --> 00:31:26,399 I'm sorry, I don't mean to drag you into local politics. 681 00:31:26,399 --> 00:31:28,720 You came here to shop. 682 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:29,559 I did. 683 00:31:29,559 --> 00:31:31,480 I have a few things I can show you 684 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:33,079 right away if you'd like. 685 00:31:33,079 --> 00:31:34,759 If you would like a custom piece, 686 00:31:34,759 --> 00:31:37,240 that will take some time. 687 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:40,159 For a sort of more, and then apologies, 688 00:31:40,159 --> 00:31:42,519 this sounds a little bit rude, but I think you'd agree, 689 00:31:42,559 --> 00:31:47,079 a more basic, serviceable, but excellent quality weapon 690 00:31:47,079 --> 00:31:47,920 veins your person. 691 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:48,759 All right. 692 00:31:48,759 --> 00:31:51,200 If you want something unique, 693 00:31:52,079 --> 00:31:55,480 then I might be your gal. 694 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,240 Well, do like the idea of something serviceable, 695 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:03,119 something, but that has a unique quality to it. 696 00:32:03,119 --> 00:32:04,319 Absolutely. 697 00:32:04,319 --> 00:32:05,879 We've got, I mean, I have some, 698 00:32:05,879 --> 00:32:08,440 and I'm kind of searching through, 699 00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:10,519 like everything's just kind of in piles 700 00:32:10,639 --> 00:32:12,079 and in wooden crates, 701 00:32:12,079 --> 00:32:13,799 because we've been moving things. 702 00:32:13,799 --> 00:32:18,160 And I pull out a rolled piece of leather and unroll it. 703 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:19,839 And there are a lot of, you know, 704 00:32:19,839 --> 00:32:21,960 just kind of basic day-to-day knives, 705 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,639 like daggers and some slightly longer, 706 00:32:24,639 --> 00:32:26,359 but of various functions, 707 00:32:26,359 --> 00:32:27,279 but all, you know, 708 00:32:27,279 --> 00:32:29,920 just the kind of things that we would make 709 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,680 when we had a little bit of metal leftover 710 00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:34,160 and wanted to forge something. 711 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:35,000 Of course. 712 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:38,319 Oh, these are delightful. 713 00:32:38,359 --> 00:32:41,639 Perhaps I purchased multiple items from you, you know, 714 00:32:41,639 --> 00:32:43,039 as my friends are coming into town, 715 00:32:43,039 --> 00:32:43,879 I have a few days. 716 00:32:43,879 --> 00:32:46,839 So no huge rush. 717 00:32:46,839 --> 00:32:49,119 There's no timeline on what we're doing. 718 00:32:49,119 --> 00:32:51,519 I will get a room and stay here. 719 00:32:51,519 --> 00:32:54,799 Perhaps go see if your father recognizes me. 720 00:32:56,119 --> 00:32:57,480 But yes, as I mentioned, 721 00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:00,599 perhaps a long sword struck my fancy, 722 00:33:00,599 --> 00:33:04,039 a couple daggers and something, 723 00:33:04,039 --> 00:33:06,000 maybe one other item, something special. 724 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,679 I'll let you choose what it is. 725 00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:09,880 Do you prefer something you wield 726 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:11,400 or something you throw? 727 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,200 I hadn't considered throwing. 728 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,519 If I have the sword. 729 00:33:15,519 --> 00:33:18,039 The nice thing about throwing is you don't need, 730 00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:21,600 you don't need a lot of this, you know, 731 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,000 you don't need the biggest muscles in the world. 732 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:24,960 Let's go for some of that. 733 00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:27,560 It seems we've got a lot of upfront, 734 00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:30,640 close quarters protection. 735 00:33:31,759 --> 00:33:33,759 Yeah, something with range, 736 00:33:33,759 --> 00:33:35,640 something to keep us, 737 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,520 perhaps a little bit at distance if we need. 738 00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:39,360 Perfect. 739 00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:40,200 Before you go, 740 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:41,560 I'm just going to take some measurements. 741 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:42,400 Of course. 742 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:45,800 Get your draw length, your inseam, 743 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,000 your waist circumference, 744 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,320 just all the measurements, 745 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:50,040 just in case. 746 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,120 Yes, you're the professional. 747 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,000 Sometimes I'd make a custom sheath. 748 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,600 You know, I want to know how it's going to fit. 749 00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:59,440 I tuck to the right if that matters. 750 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:00,280 If you don't mind that. 751 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,240 And if you don't mind, 752 00:34:06,079 --> 00:34:06,920 I do have this, 753 00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:08,159 if you could just stand right there, 754 00:34:08,159 --> 00:34:09,440 that's perfect. 755 00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:12,039 And if you just look in that direction, 756 00:34:12,039 --> 00:34:14,199 you'll see there's a poster on the wall. 757 00:34:14,199 --> 00:34:15,039 I see it. 758 00:34:15,039 --> 00:34:17,119 And it's on the far side. 759 00:34:17,119 --> 00:34:17,960 Yes. 760 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:19,360 Am I supposed to read the bottom line? 761 00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:20,199 Yes. 762 00:34:20,199 --> 00:34:21,920 Yes, please. 763 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:24,280 E, F, 764 00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,000 S, C, 765 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:26,840 Z, 766 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:29,760 P, Q, 767 00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:30,599 A. 768 00:34:30,599 --> 00:34:31,840 Okay, and the line above that? 769 00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:32,880 Okay. 770 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:34,360 R, 771 00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:35,240 L, 772 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:37,160 L, 773 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:39,120 L, 774 00:34:41,039 --> 00:34:42,280 M. 775 00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:43,120 Great. 776 00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:43,940 Okay, perfect. 777 00:34:43,940 --> 00:34:46,599 I just need to know what kind of throwing, 778 00:34:46,599 --> 00:34:47,840 throwing range, you know? 779 00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:49,039 Great, great. 780 00:34:49,039 --> 00:34:49,960 Perfect. 781 00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:50,800 This is Thane. 782 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:51,840 Nice to meet you, Thane. 783 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:52,840 I'm Bonwyn. 784 00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:54,079 I didn't actually introduce myself. 785 00:34:54,079 --> 00:34:56,240 He just reaches out for a hearty handshake, 786 00:34:56,240 --> 00:35:00,000 and he has a powerful handshake, 787 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:03,280 considering how thin and frail he looks. 788 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:04,440 Well, it's lovely to meet you. 789 00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:07,080 I'm excited to see what you've done. 790 00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:08,800 As I said, I'll just be around town 791 00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:09,760 for the next couple of days. 792 00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:12,400 I'll pop in every now and again, just to... 793 00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,400 As your friends come in, bring them in, 794 00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:17,440 I can get some ideas what they might be interested in, 795 00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:21,360 and yeah, if you want some local recommendations. 796 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:23,519 Where's somewhere great to eat, 797 00:35:23,519 --> 00:35:25,600 and somewhere lovely to stay? 798 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:30,120 Okay, so you're going to want to go to those buns dough? 799 00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:31,960 Perfect, saw it walking in, yes. 800 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,039 Delicious, delicious. 801 00:35:34,039 --> 00:35:35,679 Coffee, pastries, wonderful. 802 00:35:35,679 --> 00:35:37,400 Pulls out a little flip notebook 803 00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:38,519 and starts writing this down. 804 00:35:38,519 --> 00:35:41,920 And if you're looking for a beverage 805 00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:46,240 and some comradery, Brewed Awakening 806 00:35:46,240 --> 00:35:47,880 is going to be the place you're going to want to go. 807 00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:52,679 Excellent, I will hit both of those places today. 808 00:35:52,679 --> 00:35:53,519 Perfect. 809 00:35:53,519 --> 00:35:54,360 Thank you, thank you, Bonwyn. 810 00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,119 And for a place to stay, 811 00:35:56,119 --> 00:35:57,760 I would recommend the Curly Carrot. 812 00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:00,440 Now you're not going to find any meat there. 813 00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:03,280 I don't know if you're a big carnivore, 814 00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:06,400 it is vegetarian only if you eat at the restaurant, 815 00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:07,760 but you won't miss it. 816 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:08,840 It's delicious. 817 00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:11,400 And the rooms, beautiful, so simple, 818 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:15,559 but also everything's organic and plush and nice, 819 00:36:15,559 --> 00:36:17,960 and obviously it goes without saying, 820 00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:20,639 that is on the noble side of the city. 821 00:36:20,639 --> 00:36:22,639 Of course, well that'll give me an opportunity 822 00:36:22,639 --> 00:36:24,800 to get a complete lay of the land. 823 00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:26,440 Yeah, walk around and explore, 824 00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:28,679 forgive all the rebuilding that's happening. 825 00:36:28,839 --> 00:36:32,960 It didn't look like this, you know, just a few days ago. 826 00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:33,799 Well, thank you. 827 00:36:33,799 --> 00:36:35,000 Thank you again. 828 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,000 I'll see you very soon. 829 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,279 I'm going to go at least get a room 830 00:36:38,279 --> 00:36:40,799 and then do a little wandering around. 831 00:36:40,799 --> 00:36:42,839 Get a coffee and a pastry for your wandering. 832 00:36:42,839 --> 00:36:43,719 You won't regret it. 833 00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:46,440 See you soon as he walks out into the street. 834 00:36:52,799 --> 00:36:56,199 Dumbgeons and Dragons, season four, episode seven, 835 00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,720 starring Amy More as Alydin, 836 00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:01,160 Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane, 837 00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:03,440 Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard, 838 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,800 and Russ More as your dungeon master. 839 00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:07,800 Dialogue editing by Carla Maxted 840 00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:09,840 and sound design by Russ More. 841 00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,320 This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound 842 00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:15,640 and Slipstream, and sound effects from Epidemic Sound, 843 00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:18,000 Boom Library and Sound Ideas. 844 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,400 Our amazing cover art and character designs 845 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:21,680 are by Matt Garbutt, 846 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,320 and a huge thank you to our supporting producers, 847 00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:26,280 Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak, 848 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,559 Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Christian Brown, 849 00:37:29,559 --> 00:37:31,720 Ongurong Kiersen, Perry Matey, 850 00:37:31,720 --> 00:37:34,280 Old School Gamer D, Craig Zeiss, 851 00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:36,440 L.A. Branton, and Sarah Murphy. 852 00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,200 Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast, 853 00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:42,280 and you can find us at patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast 854 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,200 where you get an episode dedication, 855 00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:46,220 a whole bunch of exclusive content, 856 00:37:46,220 --> 00:37:49,920 access to exclusive community channels in our Discord, 857 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:51,559 hangouts, and so much more. 858 00:37:51,559 --> 00:37:53,480 We can't wait to see you over there. 859 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,079 Oh, and merch. 860 00:37:55,079 --> 00:37:56,639 Merch is over there, too. 861 00:37:56,639 --> 00:38:00,400 After three months, we'll send you some, just like that. 862 00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:03,079 Join us today, but until then, have a great week, 863 00:38:03,079 --> 00:38:04,480 and we'll talk to you soon. 864 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:09,519 Portals do just show up for no fucking reason, 865 00:38:09,519 --> 00:38:10,360 right, Russ? 866 00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:11,760 That's the way magic works. 867 00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:15,159 Not because I had nothing planned 868 00:38:15,159 --> 00:38:17,320 and then have to now explain why they're here. 869 00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,320 Nope, that's not how this game works. 870 00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:23,320 Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.