[0.0s] Today's episode will start in just a moment. Go grab a snack. Hurry, hurry.
[5.6s] If something rounds that corner, I'm readying a Frostbite spell.
[9.6s] So you would have like gone, you would have hit. So as as you're being pulled back in,
[15.5s] everybody now hears more movement from within this cavern. All of you see this light extending
[23.4s] up into the roof. And often to the left and right you hear scratching and you hear climbing
[31.9s] and you unless you make another move, it's not long before you see one of these creatures
[41.0s] rush past the cavern. They don't rush down the cavern, but like you see a silhouette of
[45.7s] them against this light run to from right to left. Oh, yeah, we found them. That's
[51.9s] this is them. Yep. And that big light looks like however they're getting in. So I think
[59.0s] that our goal is to close that up. Okay. How do we do that? Yeah, how do we do that? How does
[66.7s] good question? How does one close a rift in time and space? This wasn't covered in any
[71.8s] of the modules. Excellent question. We're going to learn through experience.
[76.1s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast. And I'm your Dungeon Master Russ
[83.5s] Moore, he him also with me today. Tom Laird is Kavlaran Goldweave, he him. That's right,
[89.4s] a whopping two. Kyle Claset is Bizard the Wizard, he him. Let's go clear our names,
[95.2s] Cav, because we did this with special guests from I Seduce the Dragon, Christina Van Epps
[100.6s] as Penance Olive Tree, she her hazard fee. Absolutely. And Ryan Keeley, she her as
[106.2s] Bond and Cove, he him for wisdom damage. Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon supported podcast and
[113.3s] you can join us today at patreon.com slash Tom Dragon cast. There's a seven day free
[117.8s] trial and a whole bunch of episodes for you to listen to. We hope to see you over there.
[122.5s] And now fuck it. Let's play. Another question is, who could have caused that rift to
[130.4s] happen? It's a great question. Great question. Above my pay grade. Did they file a permit with
[135.4s] the city? I would guess not. I don't think we have anything for magical portals, but
[140.4s] we'll see. You really should. I feel like it could destabilize some important infrastructure.
[145.9s] Yeah, that's a good point. You know what, I'll bring that up. I'll bring that up with Oak
[149.0s] as soon as I see him next time. Next town hall meeting, you should really check. Yeah.
[153.3s] Yeah. 100%. As you say that one of them comes around the corner and you see the
[159.7s] Kavlaran and Bizard, you see the glowing red throat of this creature again, which you know
[166.6s] is not a great thing. You see it come around and these beady red eyes and teeth and this
[173.8s] one doesn't have the same tusks that you saw on the ones previous. And it looks like it's
[179.7s] preparing to let a howl go straight down this corridor at you. As far as what you three,
[187.1s] Bench, Bizard and Kav have known of these creatures. Let's roll for initiative.
[193.4s] Oh, not 20, bitches. Not fucking 20, which means that is a 22.
[200.6s] Nice. Speedy little guy. Young blood.
[204.2s] Okay, so Bondin 22 pennants. 12. Kav. 7. Beautiful. Olds. Fresh. Fresh and naive. Bizard. 16.
[219.7s] Keep up, dance boy. That's right. Got to be quick. Great. Cool. Love it. Bondin,
[225.0s] you get to go first. I am going to go through, go for the throat with my quarter staff.
[232.6s] That's great. Roll to hit. That's a 17 unnatural. Yeah, 17 is going to hit. That's going to be
[239.0s] eight bludgeoning damage. Okay. Now with your monk abilities, are your attacks magical?
[247.5s] They shouldn't be yet. I don't think you get that at level three. No, I was going to,
[251.6s] but I am going to do a bonus action, which is magical. It's not magic because it's your
[256.5s] astral self. You do get, your strikes are not considered magic for the purpose of
[260.3s] overcoming resistance until a higher level. Got it. Okay. For example, I mean, not saying
[265.0s] that there's resistance or anything, but you know. But just like maybe.
[270.0s] Subpoenaed questions are being asked. Okay, so you're going, sorry, you're going in
[277.0s] striking the throat. You do so and like it, it's hitting. With my quarter staff.
[283.1s] With your quarter staff. Yeah, like it's, it's hitting like tough leather.
[287.4s] It is a beefy creature that you're coming up against. And these creatures are large
[292.1s] fiends. As you run up, they tower over. Good thing I got a sweet quarter staff.
[298.2s] And then I would like to use my bonus action. Actually, should I just do an unarmed strike?
[309.0s] So you got a couple of options for your bonus action. So you can summon. I'm thinking of
[313.8s] saving the, yeah. Summon your arm, saving your arms. It lasts for 10 minutes.
[321.0s] Oh, okay. So then I am going to want to sense, but, and then I want to spend a key point
[328.0s] to fuel my arms of the astral self. It's not giving me an option to roll to hit.
[337.1s] It's only giving me an option for damage. Yeah. You will, you, you're summoning them
[340.8s] right now. So you use your action to attack and your bonus action is going to be to summon
[345.0s] the arms. So on your next turn, you'll be able to hit with them. Hell yeah. Yeah.
[348.7s] Then we will go to Bizarre. I am going to draw my sword and begin doing the steps
[355.0s] that I learned through my schooling to begin my blade song. And as my,
[359.8s] that'll be my bonus action. And as my action, I am going to cast, I'm going to
[366.3s] cast magic missile on it, sending out three bolts of force damage. And that will be
[372.6s] for 10 force damage. That's three bolts. Just kind of fire out. It's pretty cool. Perfect.
[377.8s] So those zip over top of everybody. And, uh, Bond and you see these explosions like happen
[383.4s] like right over top of you into this creature, which knocks it back. Um,
[387.4s] and then in your closest, you see that, uh, that glowing throat begin to
[392.6s] blow a little less with these hits. Brings us to penance. Does it still look like it's charging
[399.4s] up to some kind of scream? Like it's, it's still getting ready to howl. It looks like it was
[405.0s] perhaps interrupted at this moment. Okay. Not that it won't try, but it doesn't look like
[410.6s] it's actively able to on its turn. Got it. So then I will hold back on one thing. I'm
[416.6s] going to, um, once again, gripping tight to my holy symbol. I'm going to start to
[421.9s] mutter a prayer in celestial and I'm going to use my Twilight sanctuary.
[428.2s] So, um, channeling divinity, a, a sphere of dim Twilight light emanates from me
[436.0s] to surround an area of a 30 foot radius. Everybody gets seven temporary hit points.
[443.4s] Sick. Oh, hell yeah. And you cannot be charmed or frightened. Sick. That's awesome. Nice.
[450.4s] So long as you are within my sphere, uh, which is of dim light, but that doesn't bother you
[455.5s] right now because you can see through it. So we're all good to go. Um, so that is what I do
[460.2s] for my action. And then as a bonus action, I am going to cast spiritual weapon. Oh, hell
[467.5s] yeah. So I will raise my other hand. I've got one hand gripping my, my holy symbol,
[472.2s] and I raised my other hand and a, uh, it looks like a axe, except for like the,
[480.6s] the face of the axis, like several spikes. It's sort of like, if my holy symbol is like half
[485.4s] of a many pointed star or is a full many points are the axis half of it where it's just like
[490.0s] spikes coming out of a handle. Um, and that will raise up and slam down on top of this
[496.6s] creature. Excellent. Okay. You got, uh, wait, Russ, did you say excellent?
[504.3s] I believe that is correct. Yes. I believe that's what I said. Yes.
[510.9s] Uh, I'm actually, no, no, I, I rolled the natural one on that. So I'm going to use a
[515.7s] lucky, I'm going to burn one of my luck, uh, to not fail that all the stops because it
[523.8s] was a cool move and I don't want to be, I don't want to absolutely beef it. That's a 17 to hit
[529.0s] on the second go. 17. Also I'd be very unimpressed. Yeah. You lose a lot of confidence
[534.3s] from, uh, this acolyte over here. I do that whole cool intro thing. And then something I
[539.0s] just whiffed totally that would suck. Uh, eight damage from my spiritual weapon.
[545.2s] Magic missiles bludgeon in. And then this weapon comes down on top and it is the first
[549.8s] weapon that actually pierces the skin, um, of this creature. So blood begins to pour out around that
[556.3s] hit. What color is it? It is a deep red bordering on black blood. Ooh. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Right.
[569.8s] Fondant doesn't like this. Fondant, it's really grossed out.
[576.2s] Cav, you're up. Going to, uh, raise, um, his hammer in the air and call down a sacred flame
[586.8s] upon this, uh, this beastie. What does that look like? And what do I got to do? Uh,
[593.2s] you have to make a dexterity saving throw. Perfect. Of an undetermined amount until you
[599.1s] tell me what it is. Then I'll tell you if you pass or fail. Uh, it's like a, it's like a very
[607.4s] bright white light that, uh, that comes down. Awesome. Uh, that's going to be, uh, that's a
[614.7s] nine. Uh, you have failed good, sir. Darn. You get nothing. You, uh, will take two radiant
[622.6s] damage. That's right. A whopping two. Oh snap. I'll take it all. Fondant's very impressed.
[628.4s] Bench's turn and Bench is standing at the back with his, uh, dagger and bread knife in hand and
[636.6s] saying, you just let me know when it's time to throw the picnic basket. Okay. I will, uh, uh,
[641.7s] I'm just going to hold in the fort here. Uh, he, he hesitates for a moment and then he's
[647.1s] like, ah, well, I'm just going to, I'm just going to throw it. And he throws the dagger
[652.3s] and it goes wide and skids into the room. He's like, ah, sorry, guys. Um, uh, big muscles. I don't,
[661.6s] I don't know my strength at the, at this time. I'm going to stop now and, uh, uh, let, uh,
[666.5s] let you all take over. Uh, he just cowishly walks back and is like, I'll just be here. You
[672.3s] let me know when we got to, uh, make a sandwich. Sorry. Fondant back to the top.
[680.7s] Poor Bench. I'd like a ham and cheese. And then I hit him with my quarter staff again,
[685.1s] or at least I attempt to with my throat with, uh, hit him in the throat with my quarter staff.
[688.6s] Ham and cheese coming up. Well, 12 will not, uh, uh, no, no, a 12 isn't going to hit. Um,
[696.7s] so like you're close enough that you're going to hit it, but like the natural armor of it,
[700.6s] like you don't do any damage for that. Okay. And then so my arms of astral self, 17.
[706.1s] 17 is going to do it. Yes. Do I get to slap him? Yeah, you do. Oh, I'm so excited. I picked,
[711.2s] I picked this classic character because when Christina was explaining, um, what a monk could
[716.8s] do and what this mechanic was, it, to me, it sounded like just bitch slapping someone
[721.2s] repeatedly. That's basically it. Yeah. Yeah. And I do like, I do love a slap fight because
[726.0s] I'm a little less awesome with, with blowing extra later arms. That is four wisdom damage.
[735.4s] It's bludgeoning. It just uses your wisdom modifier. Okay. Yeah. It's, it's forced
[740.9s] damage. It just uses your wisdom. You challenge it to us to touch the wisdom right out of them,
[748.8s] which could, which, which could baffle it. Okay. We don't know. That's true.
[753.5s] Battle of the wits. Okay. So it takes that damage. It is that monster's turn now,
[762.5s] and it is going to, uh, actually try and back up from your position bond. And, um,
[769.9s] so it will give you an attack of opportunity. If you would like to, can I roll intimidation?
[774.9s] Sure. Absolutely. You can roll intimidation. How is that going to work for you? How is,
[782.7s] I am blonde and fresh and new. Literally on a leash, but like, yeah.
[788.6s] Don't worry little guy. I rolled a four. That's not going to work. That sounds about right.
[795.3s] Yeah. Hell yeah. We'll be right back. It's the middle. Hi everybody. Oh, hey.
[805.6s] Paul, come to the middle. Hey, it's the middle. It's good to have you.
[808.8s] Glad you're here. Thanks for joining us. If this is your first adventure with us,
[813.1s] because you joined us from I Seduce the Dragon to come listen to the great and amazing
[816.9s] Ryan and Christina. Um, that was an exciting day. It just sounded like a creaky door.
[823.1s] October. I do all the sound effects. Yeah. I'll change the credits to be from epidemic sound
[834.8s] to Amy. Amy does all the sound with my mouth. Um, but yes, thank you for being here. And
[842.1s] thank you again to Ryan and Christina for joining us from I Seduce the Dragon. Um,
[846.9s] they're lovely and you should go listen to their show. Um, not just because they're amazing,
[852.2s] but because Amy and Carla are going to be over there and continue to be over there
[856.5s] this coming week. Yeah, that's right. The next, the second part of our two part, a little,
[864.2s] um, horror one shot that we did over there will be released, uh, on the eighth next Wednesday,
[872.2s] but they're doing a fun video pre-watch on the Tuesday, the seventh. Does this sound right?
[878.2s] Monday, the seventh. I'm getting my days wrong. Monday. The pre-watch is on Monday.
[882.7s] The episode comes out on Tuesday. There we go. The numbers were correct. The numbers were
[888.3s] correct. The days were wrong. But if you go to their Patreon, you can sign up for that.
[894.0s] You don't need to be a member of their Patreon, but you can go and watch along.
[899.7s] All the details are there and Amy and I are going to hang. I put it in the calendar,
[903.3s] so it's got to happen. Amy and I are going to go hang out in the, in the chat as well.
[906.6s] Nice. Um, so we hope to see you over there and maybe Kyle and Tom will pop in.
[911.2s] I mean, maybe. Yeah, it is very, it's a, it's a fun,
[915.8s] it's fun. It's fun guys. It's fun. I'm looking forward to relistening because I have
[922.6s] a goldfish's memory and I'm just going to be snickering alongside everyone. Like I wasn't
[927.6s] actually there. It's also that podcast memory too, where like something happens and then it's
[933.0s] immediately deleted from all my memory banks. Absolutely. It's like, I don't need to remember
[937.5s] this. There's a recording of it that I can enjoy. That's gotta be why it is. But you
[943.1s] don't need to commit it to memory because it's rolled, the tapes rolled. That's right.
[946.4s] Yeah. Yeah. It's podcast science is what that is. Well, listen with us,
[952.6s] listen with us. Um, and then once you, once you listen to all of us specifically,
[958.8s] you can come join us on patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, where you get an episode
[963.3s] dedicated to you, but also you get a whole bunch of extra bonus content. Uh, Tom,
[968.7s] describe to us how the next session of the adventures of might go in your own words.
[974.8s] Okay. Uh, Russ is still possessed working on cure, but also maybe not because they
[983.0s] kind of like it this way. Not working very hard. Yeah. Like at 30% effort. No,
[991.3s] it's fine. You don't know how I got possessed or what I'm possessed with. No, that's true.
[996.3s] Or for how long or why you might like me better possessed than not possessed.
[1001.8s] But you can guess. You can get there. There might be some strong signs,
[1006.7s] but you also get an episode dedicated to you. Like today's patron, Sarah inskeep.
[1016.1s] That's fun. I would like to stay at your in sometime. Yes, indeed.
[1025.2s] For a moment, I was like, the fuck are you talking about? I know it took me a second.
[1030.5s] Like, okay, Tom, that's kind of a, kind of a weird thing to say.
[1035.1s] How do you know she runs an inn? Lorelai Gilmore, what's happening?
[1042.5s] I get it. Names. Names. Names. Thank you, Sarah. We're happy to have you here.
[1048.2s] Yeah, thanks, Sarah. Thanks, Sarah. Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast. We hope to see you
[1052.3s] over there. And then of course, go listen to I seduce the dragon and continue to listen to
[1056.1s] this amazing fun time right now. We'll get you back to it. Thanks, everybody.
[1060.7s] Have a great week. We'll talk to you soon. Love you. Bye.
[1069.4s] So what with yeah, so we'll give you the attack of opportunity. So just,
[1076.7s] I assume we're going to just punch it again or your quarter staff just roll
[1080.9s] to hit or roll another attack. I am going to use.
[1085.8s] You know what? I am going to use an unarmed strike because I know Kung Fu.
[1090.9s] And 19. All right. So as it's backing up, you're going to connect with another hit.
[1097.1s] Give me some damage. Four. It's not going to let out a towel, but it does let out this
[1102.5s] this like guttural bark out into the room. And you see around it in this room. Like
[1108.6s] there are four more figures that like scurry away and towards the light.
[1116.2s] Do they are they the same type of creature?
[1119.8s] They look to be the same type of creature. They look smaller,
[1123.8s] but they look to be the same type of creature.
[1126.0s] Bondin is convinced he's very intimidating.
[1128.7s] I think so. Yeah. That's the only explanation. However, is going to try to
[1136.9s] bite you. Now it's going to retreat. It's going to make this bark and then it's going to try to
[1143.6s] bite you. It gets two bite attacks. That's the first one's a nine to hit. Second one is a 17 to
[1152.0s] hit. So the second one hits. So you are going to take 10 piercing damage.
[1159.1s] Ow. But don't forget, Ryan, you also you have your temporary hit points that I don't think you put
[1166.6s] into your sheet yet. I did not. So I there's seven, right? So I'm only down three. Yeah.
[1172.6s] Cool. And then make a wisdom saving throw. Oh, wait, are you protected from being
[1179.6s] frightened from your aura? Yes, I ended on my turn, actually. So the so that he can still be
[1187.8s] frightened. But on my turn, I can choose to end that. Oh, so it'd still be active then. Yeah,
[1191.8s] it would still be active though. So wisdom threat saving throw or no. So he can get frightened,
[1196.8s] but you can stop him from being frightened on my turn. Yeah. On your turn. OK, so yes,
[1201.4s] please make them with I have to actively. I have to actively do it. Got it. 18. Not too
[1207.1s] shabby. OK, you are not frightened. So that one chomp comes down in front of you and
[1212.4s] misses the other connects with your shoulder and like this less huge gash because of the
[1216.7s] temporary hip points like torn tears through your shirts and like into your skin. But you are
[1223.4s] unphased as much as you can be being chomped by a big monster. But a scratch behind that
[1231.4s] monster. You see those four others retreating into the light. You see them like disappear
[1235.8s] one after the other as this final one in front of you is standing its ground.
[1240.6s] Bizarre, it is your turn. You said the final one standing its ground, so it does not
[1246.7s] show to be OK. You could roll insight to see if you can get gauge anything from
[1255.1s] what's happening behind it and what you can. Yeah, if you want 15, I really just I know the
[1261.4s] other ones are running. That's fine. This one does it seem like it's actually going to at
[1266.2s] some point bolt. So that's a 15. Yeah, you definitely get a sense that it's protecting
[1271.8s] everything happening behind it. But you can't with a 15 quite tell if it's going to stay
[1279.1s] in fight or if on its turn after everything gets through, if it's going to try and run
[1283.3s] as well with that. I guess what I'll do is try to make it less threatening by casting
[1293.2s] reduce on it. So I need a constitution save DC 14. I have a feeling it's going to have a
[1299.8s] good constitution. But science, we're experimenting and learning. This would be so
[1304.2s] good if it works, though. That's a that's only a 13. I didn't roll very good. OK,
[1310.2s] well, the target size is halved in dimensions. And OK, the reduction decreases size by
[1317.6s] one category from medium to small, for example. And the target also has disadvantage on strength
[1323.6s] checks and strength saving throws. And the it deals one D for less damage while it is
[1331.0s] reduced, shrinks down in front of you bond and is now like what was hulking over top of you is
[1337.8s] now horse sized in front of you. Nice move. Yeah. And I sneeze blood. And that's the end
[1346.4s] of my turn. Penance, it's you. OK, so how far back is what like the the rift that appears to be?
[1359.4s] I'm making an assumption that this is like the gate to the plane these things are coming from
[1363.9s] about how far back from us is that you were 50 feet back from Bondan.
[1369.4s] You didn't move on your turn last turn. So I'm going to say you're 80 feet from the rift.
[1376.2s] OK, I will move closer so that I can get everybody within my 30 foot radius of my
[1383.0s] Twilight Sanctuary. And I'll resolve that first, because everybody who ends their turn in there
[1391.1s] can get a benefit. So sorry. Yeah, you said you had cast that and I said you were close
[1397.4s] enough last time. So you would have been 30 feet. So minus. So you're actually 60
[1403.0s] feet from the rift. Yeah, that's perfectly easy. I'm going to give Bondan some more temporary
[1407.7s] hit points because he ended his turn in my in my zone. So he gets five and I will leave
[1416.5s] bizarre as is because seven is a pretty good number. So you haven't
[1420.2s] needed to use them yet. So I'll leave those. I am going to actually.
[1426.1s] Can I peek into the cavern at all? Is there like can I see like other
[1430.8s] stalactites on the ceiling? Is there anything? My goal is to try and collapse the area around
[1437.0s] the rift. You would have to proceed forward to the opening a little bit more because I said
[1443.0s] Bondan couldn't see in there until they were 10, 15 feet away. So if you do that,
[1450.0s] you'd be able to see up and in. And yes, there there would be
[1454.4s] stalactites hanging tight from the ceiling. The ceiling is probably 50 feet high.
[1462.2s] It's a rather deep cave or cavern that you're going into.
[1465.9s] That's totally fine for me. I'm going to try and orient myself as best I can. And I'm
[1471.6s] going to cast guiding bolt, which has a range of 120 so I can totally breach it to try and
[1477.4s] collapse the cavern over there in front of the rift. And I can do that at a higher level if I
[1485.3s] think that will be more effective. I mean, if you're dealing more damage,
[1489.8s] I would say that, yes, I think that would be more effective. So you're trying to
[1494.2s] close the rift, which in turn would trap this one final creature on this side. Yes.
[1501.9s] Yes. Yeah, we need one to get paid. We need one to get paid. That's what's up.
[1506.6s] That's true. So I'm going to do I will do
[1510.6s] guiding bolt. That's how she wraps up every single book. And then we got paid.
[1515.8s] I'm going to cast guiding bolt at second level to strike those rocks and try and
[1521.4s] collapse them down in front of the rift. Okay, no need to roll attack. Just give me
[1525.0s] damage on that because we're just hitting a wall or a ceiling. So that'll be 5d6.
[1530.9s] So that was 19 total. Tell me what your guiding bolt looks like. So I think this is going to be
[1539.3s] successful in this moment. I don't see why it wouldn't be. So your guiding bolt goes. Tell
[1545.4s] me what it looks like as this as enough boulder as enough stone and earth is coming down on top
[1552.7s] of it. So I sort of rush forward towards the mouth of this cavern. And after taking a quick
[1558.2s] glance around, I say another incantation in my my celestial prayer and I shoot forward a hand
[1568.8s] sort of like I'm making a throwing motion and a ball of glittering starlight emerges and
[1573.8s] streaks upwards towards the top of the cavern and smashes against those rocks.
[1578.6s] As it does the stalactites and the rocks begin to crack and and loosen. And then like in a
[1586.2s] cascade they release down on top of this cavern and begin building up and you see this creature
[1592.3s] look back at it and then turn back and that throat begins to get brighter again. Oh no.
[1599.4s] Oh boy. We got incoming. Throat punch it. And then as a bonus action,
[1603.8s] I'll hit it with my spiritual weapon. All right. Which is still there.
[1607.9s] That will be a oh god where are you spiritual weapon. That'll be an unnatural 20 to hit.
[1617.4s] And that does come on. That is 11 damage. As this is glowing like the glowing doesn't stop
[1623.6s] when it hits it but another huge strike comes in as this axe comes down on top of it.
[1628.7s] Blood begins pouring down the side of it. I mean it's a smaller smaller creature now.
[1633.5s] So it appears to do more damage to it and it lets out just like this grunt as this
[1639.1s] light continues to glow in its throat. And then we go to calve.
[1643.1s] Are there like more rocks above it that I could also knock down?
[1648.6s] Directly above the creature itself? Yeah.
[1651.0s] Yeah. All right. I really like what what Penance did with that guiding bolt there.
[1656.9s] So I'm going to do the same thing but just at a lower level.
[1660.8s] Sure. Same, not as advanced.
[1664.2s] Yeah. Just give me some damage then on that one.
[1666.6s] Absolutely. It's just 46. Hang on one sec.
[1671.8s] What? That's what my guiding bolt says.
[1675.7s] 46. Okay. Thank you. Oh, I see. I remember I've got those things in my ears.
[1683.2s] 46 would be quite the thing, wouldn't it?
[1687.0s] Just a smooth 46. 17 damage for us.
[1691.6s] So stones begin to fall. They're cascading down and like huge hits onto the creature.
[1696.8s] You want to roll me 2d6 for bludgeoning damage there?
[1701.0s] Sure. 8.
[1703.9s] So these stones are falling down on top of it and it's trying to sidestep.
[1708.2s] You see the throat begin to waver like it's still growing in intensity but it's wavering
[1714.4s] now that it's taking these damage, trying to avoid taking as much damage as possible.
[1719.1s] Whoa, is it gonna cry? Is it gonna cry? Oh, a little baby will cry.
[1725.0s] Bondin's feeling very confident.
[1726.5s] This is part of Bondin's intimidation. He just starts schoolyard mocking the-
[1730.1s] Now we learn why Bondin is homeschooled.
[1732.6s] 100% and that's why it's an unnatural form.
[1738.1s] Bench is going to give bardic inspiration to Bondin and toss you a sandwich for that.
[1749.9s] Hell yeah.
[1750.7s] He's a sandwich bard?
[1752.4s] Yes!
[1752.9s] That's amazing.
[1753.7s] He's a sandwich bard.
[1755.8s] I mean he is now.
[1757.1s] I snatch the sandwich out of the air and eat it with the gusto of a teenage boy.
[1765.0s] And then that brings us back to you.
[1766.8s] Does this do?
[1768.0s] So you get a d6 on an attack roll, a saving throw, or an ability check.
[1774.5s] Okay, so there's a little baby now?
[1777.1s] It's smaller but yeah it's still the same creature because bizarre cast reduce.
[1782.2s] Okay and the other four have all-
[1784.2s] Yeah.
[1785.0s] Okay and so now all the four have gone into the rift.
[1787.4s] I'm gonna just keep on doing what I'm doing because I haven't learned better.
[1791.8s] I'm gonna roll a hit with my quarterstaff.
[1794.3s] Okay.
[1795.6s] And that is an unnatural 24.
[1799.0s] Damn.
[1799.8s] But it's a nat 20 plus four.
[1801.5s] Oh dang!
[1802.1s] Oh then yeah roll double on your dice there for damage.
[1807.4s] So the first one was nine and the second one was five.
[1812.2s] Oh wait no no no no no no no I rolled two dice at the same time.
[1814.6s] Sorry I apologize.
[1816.8s] D&D Beyond figured it out for me so it was the nine.
[1819.4s] Good D&D Beyond.
[1820.1s] It was the nine damage?
[1820.9s] Disregard the five.
[1822.0s] Describe to me what it looks like when you kill this creature, Bondan.
[1827.8s] Oh my gosh he's doing it!
[1830.0s] Monster hunting!
[1831.2s] Oh I- Bondan runs directly at the creature and leaps through the air with its quarterstaff
[1840.7s] in hand and smacks the creature so hard in the throat.
[1845.6s] Maybe it partially comes off?
[1846.9s] I don't know.
[1847.8s] And manages to do it with enough slack on his backpack leash to land in the superhero pose.
[1857.0s] Staff down.
[1858.8s] Knee down.
[1859.6s] Fists down.
[1861.1s] Bam!
[1861.8s] Because he's young and he can hit his knees with it.
[1866.1s] He can land his knees on hard stone and still get up and be okay.
[1870.9s] God we wish we were like Bondan don't we?
[1873.1s] Yeah I can do a flying leap and land on my knee!
[1880.1s] That is the true, that is the power fantasy that we're all pursuing in D&D is knees
[1885.4s] that don't hurt when you stand up again.
[1887.8s] Full mobility.
[1889.1s] God yeah.
[1891.8s] Amazing okay so yeah you land in the superhero pose and then as you do that the
[1897.0s] monster lets out one final shriek up to the ceiling and like releases the howl that it's
[1903.5s] been building which reverberates through this cavern and everything begins to fall
[1908.9s] and everything begins to shake.
[1910.6s] You have one action each to decide what you want to do before I'm going to tell
[1914.8s] you you've got to run to get out of here.
[1917.0s] Oh snap.
[1917.7s] This monster is too big to carry.
[1919.8s] The departments had come off when I hit it really hard in the throat with the neck.
[1925.4s] How off is this dude's head?
[1927.2s] You snapped its neck but it's a pretty like meaty creature like I don't think you took
[1931.6s] its head clean off unfortunately.
[1933.9s] I'm going to run towards the creature and start trying to chop its head off with my
[1938.1s] pen knife.
[1938.7s] Okay.
[1939.2s] Because we need evidence to get paid and that's that's one thing I've learned
[1942.3s] from pen itself.
[1944.6s] You're hacking away at this creature's neck and working at that.
[1949.3s] As you're doing that we'll go to Bazaard.
[1951.4s] Cavern shaking you see Bondan going up to the creature and trying to take a you know
[1957.1s] proof that they that this has been what you found and thought.
[1961.7s] What do you do?
[1963.0s] Looking at can we still see part of the glow from the rift?
[1967.4s] Yeah I'd say it's like peeking through in cracks like enough has fallen that it's
[1971.3s] covered the main main source of it but you still see it peeking through.
[1977.6s] A while ago I was tempted to but now I am going to take a moment stare study and try
[1986.6s] to recall any studies of like extra planar magic or anything in that realm and see
[1993.5s] if I recognize any kind of color association based off of what we've seen.
[1997.8s] Roll a history or an arcana.
[2001.4s] Arcana please.
[2002.4s] Ah it's a 14 on arcana.
[2004.1s] I'm going to say it looks familiar to you.
[2007.6s] It looks like you've read about it.
[2008.9s] It looks like you have a book that you know that you've read a passage about
[2014.7s] about some sort of other dimension.
[2017.1s] You can't place it in this moment be it the the panic the the stress of the
[2022.1s] the case but you've committed this what you've seen to memory so that you can go back
[2026.3s] and research this should you escape.
[2029.1s] Yeah I know the book I need.
[2030.3s] Yeah exactly.
[2031.4s] That's what I do.
[2032.5s] Okay penance.
[2033.6s] Bonded has the he's got the right spirit but the wrong tools.
[2039.5s] He's got the wrong tools for the job if only.
[2042.6s] I'm going to from from my belt I'll have to hand axe and with that and my spiritual
[2048.6s] weapon that still exists can can I help with some more serious like hacking to try and
[2054.6s] behead this creature.
[2055.3s] Now with the two of you going at this creature you are able to absolutely get through
[2062.3s] neck snapped bond and already picking away and now your weapons coming in.
[2068.2s] You were able to cleave the head off of this creature.
[2070.6s] Fantastic.
[2072.2s] Which brings us to Cav.
[2074.2s] Cav sees the the carnage of the head being removed and the inquisitive nature on
[2081.1s] Bazaar's face and he just kind of like slowly makes his way back towards the exit.
[2086.9s] It's like come on guys we've got to go.
[2089.8s] Packs away slowly.
[2092.1s] Spacks away slowly into the crowd disappears into the shrub.
[2096.5s] Bench sees what you're doing and although he's not very adept at fighting it's been
[2103.5s] found out he does have a lot of muscle so he after you cleave that head off he comes
[2108.6s] up and picks it up and starts pushing everybody through the entrance as stones
[2113.4s] continue to fall down behind you.
[2115.0s] Does it fit in the basket.
[2116.4s] I was also thinking put it in the picnic basket.
[2119.6s] It's a wicker basket so it's got some give to it so it's like it's coming out but
[2124.7s] enough that he can use it to help carry it out.
[2129.0s] So everybody now getting his head and running back out to the cave in is coming down
[2134.1s] behind you and you're climbing quickly up the ladder you make it back to the elevator
[2140.1s] and like there's this huge plume of debris and dust that follows behind you.
[2144.9s] There's this reverberating echo in your ears as you're making your way back up the
[2151.7s] elevator.
[2152.5s] The cave in appears to have stopped on that lower level though and although you hear
[2157.5s] movement from somewhere else in the mountain you feel like you're safe in this
[2162.2s] moment and you make it back up to the top where you're all standing around with
[2168.5s] this this monster head in the picnic basket and Bench looks to you all and says oh
[2174.6s] well that was more eventful than the last time we were down there can we go home now.
[2180.5s] I think that went pretty smooth honestly all things considered.
[2184.0s] I would agree I mean if a world-renowned monster hunter thinks so then I would have
[2188.6s] to agree and I do I do think so let's go get paid yeah let's go clear our names
[2195.5s] cav because we did this yeah you certainly helped as you say that I'm taking my ear
[2201.0s] plugs out and I'm like clear your names what do you mean.
[2204.4s] We kind of got blamed for it's a long story we'll tell you on the way back
[2209.3s] and you can tell me at the brothel.
[2213.4s] We cut back to the patio outside the brothel where Bondon and Penance are sitting
[2220.0s] counting their money on the table having been paid the 500 plus the 100 for the
[2227.1s] one monster that you were able to kill and return proof of
[2230.8s] hazard fee absolutely I'm counting out all of the coins I'm making sure that we
[2235.5s] got paid right and I I count out 50 of them and I slide them across the table
[2241.3s] at Bondon and I say that's for the killing blow you did good today kid.
[2246.8s] Bondon enters the brothel comes back approximately three and a half minutes
[2252.6s] later flushed and must and safe and that's where we'll end today's episode.
[2267.4s] Dumbgeons and Dragons season four episode six starring Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave
[2273.7s] Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard with Russ More as your dungeon master
[2278.2s] featuring special guests Christina Van Epps as Penance olive tree and Ryan Keely as Bond and Cove
[2284.6s] they join us from I Seduce the Dragon make sure you go find and listen to their adventures
[2289.0s] at istdpod.com dialogue editing and sound design by Russ More this episode featured music
[2295.9s] from Epidemic Sound and Slipstream and sound effects from Epidemic Sound Boom Library and
[2301.6s] Sound Ideas our amazing cover art and character designs are by Matt Garbutt and
[2306.7s] a huge thank you to our supporting producers Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak, Cat Waterflame,
[2312.2s] Jacob Madden, Christian Brown, Angaron Kiersen, Perry Matey, Old School Gamer D, Craig Zeiss,
[2319.0s] LA Branton and Sarah Murphy. Are you enjoying the story so far? Well we couldn't do it
[2324.3s] without you. In fact we'd love for you to join us at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast
[2329.0s] where when you sign up for a seven day free trial you're going to get access to an entire
[2333.6s] other show two of them to be exact we've got the adventures of and cyberpunk rent we hope to
[2339.2s] see you over there patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast and maybe we'll see you in the community
[2344.6s] we're over on discord you have a great week we'll talk to you soon
[2350.2s] I'll give everybody one action moment before something happens I got one
[2357.6s] oh are we I would like to help
[2365.0s] maybe should we roll in uh for for initiative for order let sure let's roll it I was like
[2372.3s] who's turn is it because I know what I want to do who's going first I know what I'm doing
[2377.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production