[0.0s] We're just on a lift on the way down.
[1.8s] Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin in a moment.
[10.2s] There is a sound of a very rusty elevator.
[18.9s] And all of you, the five of you,
[23.0s] yeah, I mean, last time we said we could only fit three in, but I feel like
[27.3s] we could definitely force five people into this very small rusty elevator.
[33.6s] All of you are packed in tight.
[35.6s] I'm a willowy young man.
[37.4s] Oh, then perfect. See, it's all making perfect sense.
[41.1s] So you're packed right in the middle there surrounded by everybody else around you.
[46.2s] There's the kind of sound and you're getting farther and farther away from the light above.
[55.5s] So how far down does this go?
[58.3s] Should I light my torch?
[59.6s] Like in time wise.
[61.0s] Wait, going down in time?
[65.0s] How long is this trip down is what I should be asking.
[69.4s] I can't, it's been a little while.
[71.4s] I can't remember if this was the, there's the first elevator.
[75.0s] And I can't remember if we keep going down on this elevator,
[77.5s] if there was a second elevator, but we'll go down.
[81.5s] There will be a floor and then there will be another one.
[85.0s] I think we went down twice.
[87.5s] Maybe it was the second one where we.
[89.1s] Was it the second one?
[90.6s] Riveting.
[92.0s] Yeah.
[92.7s] I mean, there was a lot happening.
[94.0s] It's hard to remember.
[95.2s] It's true.
[96.2s] I wouldn't like the, well, you could now, but maybe not.
[101.1s] If I hold it like up in between.
[103.4s] Okay.
[103.9s] Oh, wait.
[105.8s] Yeah.
[106.1s] I mean, I have a torch in my backpack just so you guys know.
[109.7s] Also, do you do, should we stuff our ears?
[113.1s] Well, they do do a fair bit of shrieking.
[116.2s] It's true.
[116.6s] I do have a method that would counteract that.
[123.4s] It just so happens that it would, for instance, bizarre.
[129.9s] If any of your spells require you to speak,
[132.1s] that's going to be an issue also.
[134.6s] Oh, that's.
[136.1s] Well, all of them.
[137.7s] So.
[138.6s] Yeah.
[139.8s] Yeah.
[140.6s] The, the quiet, quiet place spell.
[142.7s] Yeah.
[144.3s] The quiet place spell.
[145.5s] Yes, absolutely.
[148.1s] It might be something that when we,
[149.7s] when we come across these creatures,
[152.7s] we'll can figure it out then.
[155.3s] However, my method for allowing you all to see
[160.0s] is also a limited time thing.
[162.7s] Wait, you can do that, Penance?
[166.4s] I can do so many things, Bond, and you don't even know.
[168.5s] This is when you get further along in the course,
[170.3s] you'll really fully understand.
[173.0s] Well, cool.
[173.4s] If you can go ahead and take care of that,
[175.4s] that whole not being able to see in the dark thing,
[177.9s] then we wouldn't need the torch.
[179.8s] We wouldn't, I mean, the sound of the elevator alone,
[183.2s] I think is an indicator of something
[186.6s] encroaching upon their territory,
[188.2s] but it's going to be fine.
[192.0s] We have a very prestigious monster hunter with us.
[194.9s] You do.
[195.6s] How quickly were you attacked last time
[197.6s] and then you just ran?
[198.5s] You said you just ran.
[200.5s] It took a little bit and then we kind of,
[203.7s] we rode the elevator back up,
[205.5s] so it wasn't really a running,
[207.6s] it was like a standing in place while the machine moved us.
[212.8s] Yes.
[214.1s] And they followed you to the surface?
[215.4s] Well, not at the time they didn't.
[217.0s] That's right, they didn't.
[218.2s] That's where we're kind of thinking it wasn't our fault.
[220.8s] While I'm packed in between all of you guys like this,
[224.2s] I'm going to awkwardly still get into my bag
[227.1s] and I'm going to pull out my pen knife
[229.0s] and I'm going to cut off a corner of my robe
[231.2s] and then I'm going to shimmy up this little piece
[233.3s] and then I'm going to, in front of my face,
[235.8s] trim it down and to make myself some teeny tiny earplugs.
[239.5s] And then, because I'm strapped in between you guys,
[241.7s] I'm going to get her in.
[242.9s] And then my hands are kind of stuck up by my ears
[247.4s] and then I got to kind of shimmy my hands back down my body
[251.4s] and then after I manage to get them back down,
[253.1s] I'm going to act like nothing happened
[254.5s] and try to look really, really cool
[255.8s] and just pretend that you guys didn't notice me doing that.
[260.0s] I'm just going to imagine that Bonnet
[261.8s] is in the exact center of everyone.
[263.8s] So everyone was just like perceiving that whole thing.
[269.7s] And now I'm going to act casual.
[273.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast
[276.6s] and I'm your dungeon master Russ More, HeHim.
[279.3s] Also with me today, Tom Laird
[281.4s] as Kavlaran Goldweave, HeHim.
[284.5s] I know what I'm doing with it.
[285.8s] Kyle Klasset as Bizard the Wizard, HeHim.
[288.2s] But that's not a spell I've seen.
[290.1s] What is that? What did you do?
[291.9s] With special guests from I Seduce the Dragon,
[294.4s] Christina Van Epps as Penance Olive Tree, SheHer.
[297.7s] If I can hear you, everyone can hear you.
[299.8s] And Ryan Keely, SheHer as Bond and Cove, HeHim.
[303.2s] Are there still damage there? Can I see it?
[305.5s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast
[308.6s] and you can join us today at patreon.com slash tumdragoncast.
[312.1s] There's a seven-day free trial
[313.6s] and a whole bunch of episodes for you to listen to.
[316.4s] We hope to see you over there.
[317.8s] And now, fuck it, let's play.
[328.9s] Bizarre and Kavlaran and Bench,
[331.5s] you recognize kind of where you are now
[335.1s] that you passed the first pathway,
[337.8s] which is where you found the mining equipment
[342.8s] down one direction and then the other direction was a cave-in.
[346.3s] You now recall that going down to the next level
[350.2s] was where you extended down and found a ladder
[353.9s] that went down further into the cave
[356.1s] where you came across what at the time
[359.9s] you thought was a dog-like creature,
[363.3s] which now that you've been attacked by these creatures in the city,
[367.5s] realize it was a youngling of this species.
[370.5s] Let me pet that dog.
[372.8s] Can Bondin and Christina see anything down these floors
[379.6s] as we're passing them in the elevator?
[381.4s] Not Bondin and Penance.
[382.4s] Bondin and me.
[383.8s] Me, specifically.
[390.2s] Did Penance cast the darkvision on those who can't see yet?
[395.0s] Not yet.
[395.8s] I think because I can only do it for about an hour,
[398.0s] so I'm holding it until we're a little bit closer.
[400.8s] But I do have darkvision up to 300 feet,
[403.8s] so if there is anything to be seen as we're going down.
[406.8s] Is there anything distinguishing that would be seen on these levels
[410.0s] or do they just look like average mineshaft levels?
[412.7s] They look like pretty standard mineshaft levels.
[416.1s] Bondin likely wouldn't be able to see a whole lot.
[420.6s] Kavlaran would only know this based on memory.
[423.7s] You can just see sweaty chests.
[425.4s] Exactly.
[426.0s] Penance, however, you can see down both directions.
[429.3s] You can see that there's a cave-in down one as you pass this.
[433.1s] You can see, because you've got 300 feet,
[435.8s] you can see the outline, dimly for your vision,
[438.8s] but you can see the outline of what looks like wooden mining equipment,
[443.3s] like a drilling device of some sort.
[445.8s] Okay.
[446.2s] So I'll leave it to you all if you want to stop there
[450.2s] or if you want to keep going
[451.4s] or if the others want to signal that you want to keep going.
[454.4s] Let's keep going down.
[455.4s] Take us down to the source.
[456.6s] Yes, the second floor we stopped at,
[458.9s] there was a ladder from what I recall
[461.2s] and that's where we encountered the first one.
[464.8s] Much smaller than the ones in town.
[467.7s] Hopefully easier to kill.
[469.1s] We're going to find out on top of the ladder
[472.5s] or at the bottom of the ladder.
[474.3s] I could. Could they climb ladders?
[476.6s] I can't remember.
[478.3s] They must have because they got up here.
[480.7s] I think they did.
[481.8s] I think they did.
[483.3s] All right.
[484.0s] So we will do something
[485.7s] when we get to the bottom of the second elevator level.
[489.0s] Right. You know, well, they wouldn't have been able to...
[494.2s] No. Okay. Yeah, let's go.
[495.8s] The elevator continues on
[497.8s] and after some time you make it down to this,
[501.0s] to the second level,
[501.9s] which the elevator shaft continues to go,
[505.0s] but it's a metal grate that you can see through
[510.2s] and Kavlaran would be able to see down as well.
[512.6s] It looks like there's been a cave-in further down
[515.4s] in this elevator shaft.
[516.5s] So this is basically the bottom of where the elevator can go.
[521.4s] Leading out of the elevator and down this far corridor.
[525.0s] As described, there is a rickety wooden ladder
[528.6s] that appears to be anchored into the walls.
[530.9s] There are a couple of broken rungs
[532.9s] and Pennin says you're...
[537.9s] Actually, give me an investigation as you're walking down.
[541.4s] Oh, boy.
[542.2s] And trying to find signs of anything.
[545.5s] That's a 17.
[547.0s] Perfect.
[548.3s] I have a minus one to investigation,
[550.1s] so I was expecting that to go badly,
[551.9s] but it didn't.
[552.8s] We're good.
[554.6s] So you see quite clearly with your dark vision,
[559.0s] you see big gouge marks of what looks like claws.
[564.9s] Now, looking at the, you know,
[566.8s] thinking of the drawing that Bizard gave you,
[570.6s] these line up very similarly with what you saw in that drawing
[575.1s] and what you've heard of the Howler.
[576.9s] They have four predominant claws
[580.6s] that would be able to make these marks.
[582.9s] And as you look down into this ladder shaft,
[587.9s] it looks like this creature is able to scale the wall.
[592.0s] Like it's not using the ladder itself,
[594.2s] it's scaling the stone beside it.
[597.4s] Oh, hell no.
[598.2s] Okay.
[599.8s] Terrifying.
[600.7s] Glad I haven't lit my torch yet.
[603.2s] Well, you're going to be horrified in just a second.
[605.8s] I pull out, I reach into my tunic
[610.1s] and I pull out a many pointed star amulant from around my neck
[616.2s] and I channel my holy power through it
[619.1s] and I will use my eyes of night.
[624.7s] I will expand outward my ability to see
[628.0s] up to four wing creatures within 10 feet of me.
[630.1s] So that's going to be Cav and Bizard and Bondin and Bench.
[637.0s] All of you for the next hour can see
[641.0s] up to 300 feet in clear color in the dark.
[646.4s] Damn.
[647.1s] So basically now like the lights just got flipped on.
[651.4s] Oh, shit.
[651.9s] Cool.
[652.3s] Wow, that's very cool.
[653.4s] You should have warned his penance.
[655.8s] It's awfully sudden.
[657.9s] I told you I could do something about this.
[660.2s] Yeah, look at these claw marks on the wall.
[662.9s] I don't-
[663.4s] That's not a spell I've seen.
[667.8s] What is that?
[669.0s] What did you do?
[669.8s] Oh, that's just a little blessing from my goddess.
[674.0s] So that's the power of divine magic.
[675.8s] Oh, very interesting.
[677.1s] Very interesting indeed.
[678.3s] Okay.
[679.2s] It's honestly kind of surprising that you guys can manage to not have this
[683.2s] and still function.
[684.6s] But for the next hour, you can see like I see
[687.8s] and hopefully that will aid us in this little journey.
[690.8s] I would say so.
[691.8s] So with that in mind, Bondin.
[695.5s] Yes.
[695.9s] I need to be able to watch your back.
[698.3s] Yes.
[699.9s] Do you want to put a leash on me?
[701.9s] Okay.
[703.6s] Yes.
[703.8s] Do you want to attach a leash to my backpack when I go to the grocery store?
[707.5s] Sure.
[708.2s] With my mom.
[708.9s] Yeah.
[710.6s] Let me tie that onto you.
[712.3s] We can pull you back if you get into true trouble.
[715.1s] I'm going to be your guard here.
[717.7s] You're going to be going down first because you're the quietest and the smallest.
[722.5s] Okay.
[723.0s] It's going to be great.
[724.2s] Okay.
[725.2s] And I have rope in my backpack.
[726.9s] So I'm going to tie it on.
[729.9s] Okay.
[730.4s] And this is your end.
[731.8s] Okay.
[732.1s] We harness the boy up with some rope
[734.7s] and then I'm just going to hold one end to it and be like, you've got this kid.
[737.8s] Okay.
[740.4s] Can I go down the ladder now?
[741.9s] Absolutely.
[742.6s] Yeah.
[743.5s] Okay.
[744.6s] I start climbing down the ladder.
[746.6s] Okay.
[748.0s] Bondin's going first, followed by Penance, I assume.
[752.4s] Because you've got the leash on Bondin.
[755.2s] Mm-hmm.
[755.7s] I'll go second.
[756.4s] Sure.
[756.9s] Great.
[757.2s] Great, great, great.
[758.2s] Who's following behind?
[759.4s] If he's not immediately eaten, I will follow.
[761.5s] Roger that.
[761.9s] How long is the leash that is tied to Bondin?
[764.6s] I'll go third.
[765.4s] Desire to go through.
[766.4s] Okay.
[766.9s] So it is the standard rope in my backpack, which is 50 feet.
[774.4s] So I can climb down 50 feet and look around for y'all.
[778.6s] Should I roll perception or acrobatics for climbing down a ladder?
[783.7s] You can climb down the ladder, no problem.
[785.4s] I would roll stealth, though, to see how quiet you're being.
[790.2s] Okay.
[791.9s] 10.
[793.0s] That's with a plus too.
[793.8s] This is going to go great.
[794.7s] Yeah.
[795.8s] This is going to go so great.
[797.0s] This is going to be so great.
[797.4s] So you're going to go, Penance, are you going to allow Bondin to go the full 50 feet?
[803.7s] Yep.
[804.2s] Great.
[804.7s] Okay.
[806.2s] Cool.
[807.0s] Yep.
[807.9s] Unless I see something about to happen, I'll pull him back at that point.
[811.4s] But this is my old canary in our coal mine here.
[815.3s] Send the boy down.
[816.6s] Amazing.
[817.6s] Okay, so Bondin, you're going to go down.
[819.4s] I'm pink and shiny like a worm.
[823.2s] Bondin, you're going to go down.
[825.5s] Penance, you're going to see them.
[827.6s] They, you know, maybe continuously look back up at you and back down.
[831.5s] And once you kind of reach the edge of that rope, there's still a ladder below them.
[836.6s] So you would all have to, or at least you would have to proceed down the ladder for Bondin
[841.8s] to be able to reach the next floor.
[843.5s] Can I see the bottom of the ladder?
[846.2s] Yes, there's probably about another 25 to 30 feet below you before you'd be able to see out.
[853.0s] Okay, but I can see the bottom.
[854.4s] Yes.
[855.0s] Yeah.
[856.1s] And there's nothing moving down there?
[857.5s] Doesn't appear to be, no.
[858.9s] Okay.
[859.7s] I continue on with Penance behind me.
[862.1s] Yeah, I'll go the whatever distance.
[865.1s] I'll start descending a little bit down to make sure that the rope can keep going.
[870.0s] He can keep going.
[870.6s] Sounds good.
[871.8s] Okay, so yeah, Bondin, you make it down.
[873.9s] Penance behind.
[875.3s] Is everybody else hopping onto the ladder?
[877.5s] Are you going to wait for a call?
[878.9s] Oh no, I'll hop onto the ladder.
[880.9s] Yeah, I'll hop on.
[882.4s] They're blocking your exit, Penance.
[883.9s] I'm just saying.
[884.7s] I feel like that's against the rules.
[887.4s] I don't remember which module, but don't you want them to like, you know, make sure for safety
[892.4s] reasons?
[894.1s] It'll be fine.
[895.0s] It'll be fine.
[895.8s] Don't worry.
[896.3s] They're not, they're not one of them works in as a bureaucrat.
[903.4s] You shouldn't say it's a dirty thing.
[907.4s] Well, apparently not very stealthy, so you should be able to hear me up the ladder.
[911.6s] I was going to say this conversation is happening over 50 feet.
[914.5s] So like, if I can hear you, everyone can hear you.
[917.7s] It's a stage whisper more than anything.
[919.8s] With a stealth of 10.
[921.3s] So I hit the bottom of the, so I get to the bottom of the ladder and I jump off
[927.1s] and I look around.
[928.2s] Yeah, you look around.
[929.0s] So you have one direction to look.
[931.4s] You can look down the cavern, similar to the one that you just exited up above.
[936.5s] At the end of that cavern, which you can't tell the exact distance, but it's
[941.9s] give or take 75 to 100 feet down.
[945.0s] It looks like it branches off and rounds a corner, but you see a very dim glowing light
[955.5s] from down at the end of this corridor.
[957.6s] Can I roll?
[960.6s] I don't know if that's insight.
[961.8s] Like I want to know what color the light is and like.
[964.2s] Yeah, it looks bluish and purplish.
[968.6s] Okay, pennants.
[970.3s] Okay, so I'm here at the bottom.
[972.3s] I'm here at the bottom and there's a long, there's a long hallway.
[976.1s] And then there's a choice that we're going to have to make because there's two branches
[980.2s] to this path and there's a blue and purple light.
[982.8s] What do I do?
[984.4s] This wasn't in your book.
[986.0s] Wait for the rest of us.
[987.1s] Well, for the rest of us, I'm assumed climb down too.
[990.2s] As long as you don't see anything down there.
[991.8s] So that's moving.
[993.4s] Nothing's moving.
[995.0s] When eventually we reach the bottom, I will in a sort of
[998.1s] soto voice hushed say now what's important with monster hunting is that you have to
[1003.0s] be able to discern monster tracks so that you can follow them back.
[1007.1s] So now you remember there's the giant slash marks you saw.
[1010.6s] Do you see any of them down here?
[1012.5s] I look around.
[1013.7s] Which is yeah.
[1015.0s] Can we do like a little bit of a survival check or a nature or something to see if
[1018.6s] we can find.
[1019.4s] Yeah.
[1019.5s] Yeah.
[1019.7s] What do I want me to roll survival?
[1023.3s] 21 unnatural.
[1025.1s] Dang.
[1026.1s] Nice.
[1026.6s] I only rolled a 13, but the boy is going to do it.
[1029.4s] So it's fine.
[1030.6s] Well, it's very, very recent in your mind, seeing those and being scared of them up
[1034.8s] top, you know, having been shot into that light.
[1038.7s] But you see the exact same claw marks that power.
[1044.1s] Maybe you saw them all the way down.
[1045.7s] They scaled up the wall.
[1048.0s] They are all along the floor.
[1050.2s] I look at the ceiling.
[1051.0s] Are they on the ceiling?
[1051.8s] Are they on the ceiling?
[1053.0s] Can they go upside downsies?
[1055.0s] They are not on the ceiling in this in this corridor.
[1061.0s] They're not on the same guy.
[1062.1s] They go down in this corridor.
[1064.2s] They go down the path.
[1067.7s] Looks like they're coming in both directions.
[1069.8s] I'm still going to be 50 feet ahead of the group.
[1072.5s] And so I'm going to walk 50 feet ahead of you guys.
[1074.9s] Still on my leash towards the light and towards we get until we get to the decision point.
[1082.2s] We'll be right back.
[1086.2s] It's the middle.
[1088.2s] I miss starting with a song.
[1091.5s] Well, it starts with a song every time.
[1092.9s] No, you know what I mean.
[1094.7s] With a Russ original.
[1096.2s] With a live song performed for us.
[1098.7s] Without any thought.
[1100.3s] By Russ.
[1100.8s] Without any thought put into it.
[1102.1s] Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you.
[1103.8s] Welcome to the middle, everybody.
[1105.9s] We're here now.
[1106.9s] And this is just everybody's airing of grievances.
[1109.5s] Shipping for stuff that's expensive.
[1112.7s] Russ doesn't sing anymore.
[1114.4s] Yeah, it's ridiculous.
[1116.2s] Why aren't Amy and I even in this episode?
[1119.0s] I'm not sure.
[1120.4s] Yeah.
[1122.0s] Wait, why aren't you in this episode?
[1125.2s] We may have been busy doing something else.
[1128.6s] That's right.
[1129.4s] Maybe seducing a dragon?
[1130.8s] Maybe.
[1134.3s] Anything is possible.
[1135.6s] We didn't.
[1137.1s] Spoiler alert.
[1139.1s] So Amy and Carla aren't in this episode.
[1141.8s] But Christina and Ryan are.
[1144.0s] And they are friggin' lovely.
[1146.0s] And you should go listen to I Seduce the Dragon here.
[1148.6s] Absolutely.
[1149.4s] By the way, Amy and Carla are over in that feed right now.
[1152.7s] Yeah, we are.
[1154.1s] You get the full package.
[1157.1s] They just had a live listen to the first episode of theirs.
[1160.2s] Look at them doing more things than we do.
[1162.6s] Thanks for being here with us.
[1163.9s] Cool stuff.
[1164.6s] They're great.
[1165.4s] Proud of them.
[1166.7s] I'm really proud of them.
[1168.8s] I'd like to say, the next one's going to be in like two weeks minus a day.
[1174.4s] I'm going to be there for that one.
[1176.1s] Yes.
[1176.9s] Put it in my calendar.
[1178.2s] It's all happening during the day and I'm teaching small children at that one.
[1182.1s] I don't think playing it for my class would be a good idea.
[1185.0s] But they did ask maybe for a time shift.
[1187.5s] So maybe we can make it work.
[1189.5s] So we'll go back to Jess and figure it out.
[1192.4s] But this has been a middle and a half.
[1194.6s] A middle and a half.
[1195.7s] What you do get with us is sometimes live things.
[1200.3s] Sometimes live things.
[1201.9s] But also you get an episode dedication.
[1204.6s] Like today's patron, Wendy Bale.
[1208.0s] Thanks, Wendy.
[1209.4s] Thank you so much.
[1210.6s] Thank you, Wendy.
[1212.2s] So you can join us at Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast.
[1217.8s] You get The Adventures Of, which is the exclusive podcast over there,
[1223.4s] which is six episodes deep.
[1225.4s] And now once you get to season...
[1227.1s] Six episodes.
[1227.9s] Six episodes.
[1228.8s] Six seasons.
[1229.6s] Doesn't seem like a lot.
[1230.2s] Six seasons.
[1231.1s] Oh.
[1231.6s] Six seasons.
[1232.2s] Eagle-eyed listeners like Wendy caught that.
[1236.2s] Oh, yeah.
[1236.8s] Yes.
[1237.2s] Thank you for catching that.
[1238.7s] Six seasons deep.
[1239.9s] And in season six, Kyle's there.
[1244.6s] But it's like chosen three.
[1246.5s] Zero context for a lot of things if you start with season six over there.
[1251.8s] Yes.
[1253.0s] Like we don't hold back on like in-jokes in that one.
[1257.4s] So you got to start with one and then go all the way through with that one.
[1261.3s] Yeah.
[1261.7s] Also you might like Russ's character more than you should.
[1264.9s] So you need to start back at season one to really get the whole effect.
[1269.4s] Really be filled with that disdain.
[1270.9s] And you're not really going to get why Kyle's character is having the effect.
[1275.4s] He is on Amy's character if you haven't listened to previous seasons.
[1279.8s] So please listen to them all.
[1281.6s] They're very fun and quite silly.
[1283.8s] They are.
[1284.7s] Very silly.
[1285.4s] We have a blast.
[1286.3s] And thank you, Tom, for just saying yes to absolutely everything.
[1289.2s] Of course.
[1290.2s] Yeah, it's a lot of fun.
[1291.4s] So we hope to see you over there.
[1292.5s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[1294.0s] Sign up.
[1294.4s] Seven-day free trial.
[1295.7s] We do hangouts.
[1297.1s] We got this and a whole lot more.
[1300.3s] Whole lot more.
[1301.5s] Yeah, tons.
[1303.0s] All right.
[1303.5s] We'll let you get back to this episode where we're going down an elevator, baby.
[1310.9s] Love you.
[1311.4s] For nearly the whole episode.
[1317.4s] So you can see that it's not Amy and Carla who have this effect on our group.
[1321.8s] It's just our group.
[1325.3s] Just take our time, OK?
[1326.6s] Love you.
[1327.0s] Bye.
[1330.1s] Do I see anything 50 feet ahead of the group as I continue down this corridor?
[1335.4s] So left, no light.
[1337.8s] Right is the blue-purple light.
[1340.5s] And as you get down to the end there, so everybody else is 50 feet back still, I presume.
[1345.4s] That's why I'm yelling left or right, left or right, left or right.
[1348.4s] Which way do we want to go, guys?
[1351.7s] What do you see?
[1353.0s] What do you see?
[1354.8s] What do I see, Dungeon Master?
[1359.0s] You look down to the left, which is the corridor that has no light.
[1364.7s] And it looks to be like you see stone rubble.
[1368.2s] If you take a few steps down, it branches further down and it looks like a cave-in.
[1376.0s] I run back and then I go down the other one.
[1378.3s] Looking back down the pathway that has the dim light, it appears to be getting brighter.
[1385.4s] You see more of these scratch marks coming down from this direction.
[1390.9s] You can't see the end of this corridor from your current position without progressing further.
[1395.4s] I think the monsters came from this side.
[1398.5s] All right. Well, if any of you have...
[1401.0s] Jolly Sally forth.
[1402.2s] Let's reel you back in and huddle. Let's do a quick huddle.
[1408.2s] So we all huddle up and I say, all right, anybody who has any capability...
[1413.2s] I take my earplugs out.
[1415.0s] We're about... Oh yeah, that's true.
[1418.9s] Anyone who has any capability of combat should get ready for that.
[1424.9s] Okay.
[1427.8s] Just in case, in case we're jumped, these things like to attack in packs.
[1432.3s] If you see one of them, that means there are others you probably don't see.
[1436.4s] Coyote logic, you know, we had to talk about that.
[1440.6s] Bench.
[1441.4s] Yeah.
[1441.8s] I don't know if I asked what you can do.
[1443.5s] Oh, well, I make a really mean sandwich.
[1448.7s] Fucking true.
[1450.0s] Yeah.
[1450.5s] Should we carb up?
[1452.2s] Oh, gotta carb up.
[1453.1s] That's why I brought this pick and neck basket here.
[1455.3s] So I've got sand, I've got pastrami, I've got a ham and cheese.
[1461.0s] I got a vegetarian.
[1462.2s] Anybody not like the meat?
[1464.4s] No.
[1465.0s] No?
[1465.6s] No, here.
[1466.1s] Okay. Well, we'll put that one back.
[1468.0s] No. Yeah.
[1468.9s] Okay.
[1470.2s] Yeah, I'll take it.
[1471.0s] No, bizarre.
[1471.9s] Oh, oh, you want it.
[1473.0s] Sorry. I missed it.
[1475.0s] You were speaking so quietly at the back of the cavern there.
[1478.1s] I just have to plug in my hearing aid as well.
[1481.0s] It's just what I need.
[1483.5s] And then what else do we got in here?
[1485.3s] We got a pepperoni sandwich, which is a delicacy.
[1491.4s] I want pastrami.
[1492.8s] Yeah, you want that one?
[1494.2s] It's very good.
[1495.0s] No, I want pastrami.
[1496.8s] Oh, you want pastrami?
[1497.8s] Okay, sorry.
[1498.6s] Yes, yes, yes.
[1501.0s] Okay, you get that one.
[1503.0s] And everybody else gets what they get and they don't get upset.
[1506.6s] Here you go, here you go.
[1509.9s] Okay.
[1510.6s] But I brought a knife.
[1512.0s] That's good.
[1512.5s] Oh, yeah.
[1513.0s] Excellent.
[1514.0s] Yep.
[1514.5s] Very good.
[1515.4s] It is a butter knife.
[1516.7s] That's good.
[1517.2s] Do you have any other weapons?
[1519.0s] No.
[1519.6s] It's better than nothing.
[1520.7s] You can sharpen it on a rock.
[1522.2s] Here, take this.
[1523.1s] I pull out a dagger.
[1524.4s] I say it's a little bit sharper than a butter knife.
[1527.0s] But it works about the same.
[1530.7s] So take that at least if you have nothing else.
[1533.7s] Thank you.
[1534.1s] I have a quarter staff.
[1535.3s] I know Kung Fu and I've taken penances, olive trees,
[1539.0s] correspondence course on how to be a monster hunter.
[1541.8s] Sounds like you're ready to go then, yeah.
[1544.0s] The first thing that we're going to do is that you're going to bench,
[1548.2s] you're going to hold that knife, you're going to hold that dagger,
[1550.5s] and if anything comes close enough to you to eat you,
[1555.7s] go for the eyes or run.
[1558.2s] Whichever you think is most applicable for your skill set.
[1560.8s] Love it, love it.
[1561.8s] I'm here for it.
[1562.5s] We're going to start sneaking forward.
[1564.9s] Kavlar, Kavlar, what are your skill sets?
[1568.6s] Do you have anything on your person?
[1569.8s] I've got this here hammer.
[1571.1s] And he pulls his hammer off his back.
[1573.0s] It's a war hammer.
[1575.3s] I know what I'm doing with it.
[1576.6s] Okay, okay, okay.
[1579.2s] Bazaar, other than the power of dance and costume changes,
[1585.6s] how are you going to help?
[1586.5s] It's like a sword dance.
[1587.7s] And I pull out a scimitar and so a sword dance.
[1591.0s] And of course, a little bit of the magics here and there.
[1593.8s] You can't overuse it.
[1595.8s] Otherwise, you know, it hurts.
[1598.2s] But the sword dance works out fairly well.
[1600.6s] How does it hurt?
[1601.7s] Your feelings?
[1602.5s] No, like physically.
[1604.8s] You see the gray spots in my eyes is kind of that.
[1608.7s] And I get a little trickle of blood out of the ear sometimes.
[1611.8s] Last time we fought these, I used so much magic,
[1614.2s] I vomited blood when I got home.
[1616.0s] It was great.
[1618.5s] So yeah.
[1619.4s] I'm trying to stare into your eyes like way too intensely.
[1623.3s] So I really want to like,
[1624.9s] I'm just like trying to see the eyeballs.
[1626.8s] Like, are there still damage there?
[1629.3s] Every little spell, just a little bit of the green goes away.
[1633.1s] So speaking of which, I'm going to cast Armor of the Weave on myself.
[1637.9s] And of course, there's a little crest of a Bernhardt Swan school on there
[1641.9s] because that's how you have to learn the spell.
[1643.9s] It's their own copyrighted version.
[1645.8s] It's their own copyrighted version.
[1648.1s] There's a watermark on the spell.
[1651.0s] Sorry, you only have a license for one Armor of the Weave.
[1653.4s] You can't teach it to anyone else.
[1655.4s] Was this Adobe Creative?
[1656.6s] Come on.
[1659.1s] Yeah, pay your subscription fee for your freaking spell.
[1663.4s] But no, I'm ready to go.
[1665.0s] Should I continue to go for us?
[1666.8s] Yes.
[1667.4s] Go for us.
[1668.1s] Again, stealth.
[1669.6s] Quiet.
[1670.1s] Okay.
[1670.4s] I stuff my earplugs back in and have my quarter stealth.
[1674.2s] Perfect.
[1674.6s] You want me to roll for stealth?
[1675.7s] I will give you another stealth here.
[1677.2s] We've made it pretty far.
[1678.6s] Like, let's re-up that chance to be a little sneakier from this point.
[1682.6s] Although, we've made a lot of noise to this point, so.
[1685.4s] They're sandwich eating.
[1685.9s] We stopped to have a picnic.
[1687.4s] Yeah.
[1687.9s] Yeah.
[1688.4s] Well, you got to.
[1689.0s] You got to carb up, bro.
[1691.8s] It's what they brought me along for.
[1694.3s] Right?
[1694.6s] You can't be encumbered by picnic basket weight.
[1697.0s] No, no.
[1697.7s] We're going to leave that.
[1699.0s] Maybe we could use it as a distraction.
[1701.0s] I'm going to bring it with us and just see.
[1702.8s] Smart.
[1703.4s] 13.
[1704.7s] Unnatural.
[1705.3s] Got an unnatural 20 on stealth.
[1707.6s] Maybe he should go for it.
[1708.7s] Beautiful.
[1709.1s] So everybody behind you is much quieter than you.
[1712.6s] Okay.
[1714.6s] You're going ahead still with leash on.
[1718.9s] This corridor gets increasingly brighter the longer you go down it,
[1723.2s] but you walk down for 100 to 150 feet before you are able to see an opening.
[1729.4s] And it opens up into what you can see from a distance.
[1733.7s] I'm not going to place you right into this room yet,
[1735.9s] but it opens up from into this huge cavern.
[1740.6s] And inside of this cavern, you see a crack in the far side of the wall.
[1748.7s] And it appears to be where this light is coming from.
[1752.9s] And it's this shimmering luminescence that looks like no light source you've ever seen before.
[1763.8s] I would like to roll investigation on the crack.
[1770.9s] What is it that you're looking for in the crack?
[1773.4s] I want more specificity about the crack.
[1775.7s] Okay.
[1776.8s] Yeah, give me an investigation roll.
[1779.3s] It was 14.
[1780.8s] 14, okay.
[1782.5s] Like, like, like, like where?
[1784.6s] Yeah.
[1784.9s] Yeah, so it is.
[1787.1s] Okay, yeah, it is on.
[1789.4s] So you're standing, we'll say 15, 20 feet back from the opening
[1794.1s] so that you're not directly in this room.
[1797.4s] But it is on the far wall, which is going to be another 50 feet beyond that.
[1803.5s] And it extends from the floor up above from where you can see.
[1809.9s] So you can assume that it's going to the ceiling.
[1812.6s] And it's almost like it's pouring out like a liquid.
[1817.6s] You can see the floor itself.
[1819.7s] It's not, there's nothing pooling there.
[1821.4s] So you can rule out the fact that it is liquid,
[1823.4s] but that's what the illusion that it's giving your eyes right now
[1827.2s] is that there's something coming out from somewhere beyond that.
[1830.8s] Can I see the ceiling of this room?
[1833.2s] Not without getting closer to the entrance.
[1835.9s] I would like to walk up to the entrance of this room
[1841.0s] and look around it, including up.
[1843.2s] Okay.
[1843.9s] You proceed forward another 15 feet or so.
[1847.9s] What's your passive perception, actually?
[1850.5s] 12.
[1851.4s] You're focused on the light and then you're following it up to the ceiling.
[1855.7s] And as you approach the entrance out the corner of your eye,
[1861.7s] you see not swift, but you see movement often to your right,
[1867.8s] which gives you pause for a moment.
[1871.5s] And there's a scratching sound that you hear next.
[1877.4s] And it's almost like one of these creatures, much like a dog,
[1882.9s] like flops to the ground and you hear this rumbling thud.
[1887.0s] Do you poke your head around the corner
[1888.4s] or does that give you pause to go back to your point?
[1891.1s] I would like to run at it and hit it with my stick.
[1894.2s] I will say, if he starts running, I'm gonna pull back on the rope.
[1898.8s] I'm not gonna let the baby go too far off the leash here.
[1902.7s] Are you holding at that 50 foot mark, Penance?
[1907.4s] I am.
[1907.8s] Okay, so I'm gonna run and with my...
[1911.3s] Your Penance is gonna see me grab my staff and get ready to run and strike
[1916.5s] and I'm gonna run full force and then I'm gonna be stopped
[1920.1s] by my leash that I forgot about and fall back into the hallway.
[1926.0s] I think you maybe get one, maybe two feet
[1928.4s] and then yeah, you retract like Scooby-Doo style,
[1930.7s] like bounce back into the hallway there.
[1932.8s] Oh boy, here we go again.
[1935.6s] I start reeling him back and to everyone else,
[1939.1s] I'll start moving forward a little bit quicker and say,
[1941.8s] it's go time, everyone.
[1949.5s] Dumbgeons and Dragons, season four, episode five.
[1953.0s] Starring Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave,
[1955.8s] Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard.
[1958.5s] Russ More as your Dungeon Master.
[1960.3s] Featuring special guests, Christina Van Epps as Penance Olive Tree
[1964.3s] and Ryan Keely as Bond and Cove.
[1966.8s] They join us from I Seduce the Dragon.
[1969.0s] Make sure you go find and listen to their adventures at istdpod.com.
[1974.0s] Dialogue editing and sound design by Russ More.
[1976.8s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and Slipstream
[1980.5s] and sound effects from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
[1985.0s] Our amazing cover art and character designs are by Matt Garbutt.
[1988.6s] And a huge thank you to our supporting producers.
[1991.3s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak,
[1993.3s] Kat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
[1995.4s] Christian Brown,
[1996.4s] Angaron Kiersen,
[1997.8s] Perry Matey,
[1998.6s] Old School Gamer D,
[2000.2s] Craig Zeiss,
[2001.2s] L.A. Branton,
[2002.2s] and Sarah Murphy.
[2003.6s] Are you enjoying the story so far?
[2005.5s] Well, we couldn't do it without you.
[2007.4s] In fact, we'd love for you to join us at patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast
[2011.1s] where when you sign up for a seven-day free trial,
[2013.4s] you're going to get access to an entire other show.
[2016.7s] Two of them, to be exact.
[2018.2s] We've got The Adventures of and Cyberpunk Red.
[2020.9s] We hope to see you over there.
[2022.5s] Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
[2024.8s] And maybe we'll see you in the community.
[2026.7s] We're over on Discord.
[2028.2s] You have a great week.
[2029.1s] We'll talk to you soon.
[2030.5s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.