[0.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons starts in just a moment.
[8.0s] It's a beautiful morning as everybody's getting up and going to their respective shops and getting ready for the day.
[17.0s] We see everybody, we see Bizard heading down towards the Magic Closet, keys in hand, ready to open up the shop,
[25.0s] and Bonwyn exiting those buns doe with a coffee and croissant headed up to the hot block.
[31.0s] It has a few of them, probably for Thane and some of the others around.
[35.0s] Kavlaran, we see you exiting Continental Breakfast in Hand headed towards City Hall.
[43.0s] It's been a bit since you've been there.
[45.0s] You took a few days off with the adventure and then just had the weekend all plugged in, you're ready to go.
[51.0s] And Allaton getting up very early, heading down towards the Artisan District.
[58.0s] And as everybody's bustling about and everybody's waking up for the day, we hear the town criers.
[63.0s] Sounds in the street! Sounds in your homes! Where are they coming from? Who's watching us while you sleep?
[72.0s] They call this repeatedly throughout the day and everybody has been hearing things.
[77.0s] There's been, if you haven't heard them, you've known somebody who's heard them,
[81.0s] but like scratching noises coming from what can only be described as the floors of different businesses and homes within Vintersmouth.
[92.0s] Are there zombies under the ground again?
[94.0s] Yeah.
[96.0s] Oh, fuck.
[98.0s] We jump ahead and we see Allaton weaving through people heading down Charles Street towards the Magic Closet
[106.0s] and it's, the open sign is turned over in the window and you look in through the window
[113.0s] and you see Bazaar tending to some shelves, putting some things away for the day
[117.0s] as you are standing outside kind of looking through the window to see if he's there.
[121.0s] I watch him for a minute and I see that he's alone in there.
[127.0s] It's early. There are no patrons in.
[130.0s] So I want to just like really quickly like just like slip in.
[137.0s] I know there's probably a bell or something, but I'm going to try my best not to bang it in a way that just like obnoxiously announces my presence.
[147.0s] So the door opens. There is a small bell, but you slide in just as it's just the slightest jingle.
[155.0s] You get in. Are you trying to, you're trying to not be seen as you enter?
[160.0s] I'm not trying to be not seen.
[165.0s] Allaton wants to be seen and present, but to be recognized in such a way as not a disturbance or a disruption.
[177.0s] So it's not like I'm not Van Damme style kicking the door down being like, teach me bitch.
[182.0s] I want to be like very, very respectful, very unassuming, very like, you know, when you have a minute, very Amy.
[202.0s] I know all the fastest ways to get anywhere in this place.
[208.0s] If you can think of a way we can sexy that up.
[213.0s] Well, we're not like going on a date.
[215.0s] I just want to talk to her about the city's finances and Kyle class it as bizarre.
[219.0s] The wizard, he him a large quantity of those all at once would be quite more destructive.
[225.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon supported podcast where you can get a seven day free trial.
[230.0s] If you sign up today at Patreon dot com slash dumb dragon cast.
[234.0s] Now, fuck it. Let's play.
[237.0s] Bizarre, it's been an early morning for you.
[242.0s] You've come, you've restocked the shelves after having a reasonably successful week.
[249.0s] Can you hear a small jingle of the bell, which is a little early for most people to usually come in.
[255.0s] You don't usually kind of come around till the afternoon.
[257.0s] You tell me what you do as you hear the jingle of the bell.
[260.0s] You know, putting away stuff on the shelf and I hear the jingle of the bell and some very light footsteps and say,
[267.0s] Oh, early start to the day.
[270.0s] Who are we helping today?
[271.0s] And I turn a little bit as I continue putting things away and,
[275.0s] Oh, Alydin, right? Is that correct?
[280.0s] Yeah, yes.
[281.0s] How can I help you this morning?
[285.0s] Oh, you know, well, I was just around and like I saw you putting away your stuff.
[295.0s] And I remember that you said that one time that maybe I could come and just like kind of check out your store.
[302.0s] Yeah.
[303.0s] Not in a case your store kind of way, but just in like a checkout your store kind of way.
[307.0s] And yeah, I just thought that maybe that I could do that today.
[311.0s] Yeah.
[312.0s] If you're not busy.
[313.0s] Not yet.
[314.0s] So absolutely.
[316.0s] I tell you what, I've got a got a new package of supplies over there.
[320.0s] Actually, if you'll go ahead and unwrap those careful though, the powder is a little flammable.
[327.0s] So just to make sure that you keep it away.
[329.0s] In fact, let me just move this candle up here real quick.
[332.0s] If you'll go ahead and start unpacking those, they're going to be in little envelopes.
[335.0s] I want you to take them and line them up on the shelf right over there.
[340.0s] Unwrap them.
[341.0s] I'm not going to light them on fire.
[342.0s] I'm going to take the little envelopes and I'm going to put them on the shelf up there.
[345.0s] Yes.
[346.0s] Absolutely.
[347.0s] So.
[348.0s] Okay.
[349.0s] Now.
[350.0s] I'm sure she's scurried over.
[351.0s] She's excited.
[352.0s] Fun thing about those.
[353.0s] You know, some of the some of the fireworks that you may have seen at the the mayor's
[359.0s] announcements and speeches and whatnot.
[362.0s] I've actually been able to take a little bit on the side for those and make a little
[367.0s] little popper things here and there and they make a little small explosion.
[370.0s] So now granted, not to give you any ideas, but a large quantity of those all at once
[377.0s] would be quite more destructive.
[379.0s] So, you know, I only get small batches in here and there, but certainly useful in
[387.0s] some situations.
[388.0s] So just, you know, just again, be careful.
[390.0s] Not too much jostling.
[391.0s] But, yeah, they go.
[392.0s] They come in.
[393.0s] They come into play quite a bit with some of the.
[396.0s] Well, I call it magic, but, you know, not everything.
[399.0s] Magic is in the way that it affects you because, you know, I'm not I'm not sure how much
[406.0s] you know or how much has been explained to you about the magic in our world.
[413.0s] During this, Alydin had like already screwed over, started like unwrapping the package
[419.0s] and it's just like slowed down and is just completely and the minute you said
[426.0s] magic, her face was like, it's happening.
[432.0s] She's like in her monologues, just like, be cool, be cool.
[438.0s] Oh, yeah, no, I've heard of yeah, I've heard of magic sort of before.
[444.0s] Do you know what can what do you what do you know about it?
[449.0s] Well, I went to Bernhard Swan School of Magic fighting and dance.
[454.0s] So I know quite a bit about it, but I, you know, I don't want to give away too much
[460.0s] because. Oh, is it a secret?
[462.0s] Well, I mean, it definitely cost me a lot of money.
[465.0s] Well, it didn't cost me a lot of money, but it cost a lot of money.
[468.0s] So you have to you have to have a lot of money to learn to use magic.
[473.0s] I had to have a lot of money to learn to use magic.
[475.0s] And while not everybody has that, that doesn't mean that there shouldn't be ways to
[480.0s] figure it out, because I mean, I've seen around the town, it seems like schools have gone to the wayside.
[487.0s] And certainly there wouldn't be a school that teaches what Bernhard Swans does.
[493.0s] But it doesn't mean I'm not keen on imparting some kind of knowledge to to those who want to learn.
[501.0s] Granted, I'm not going to impart anything that is going to be detrimental to your health.
[506.0s] But, you know, if you want to learn some things, then.
[509.0s] Yes, I do. Yeah.
[511.0s] OK. Well, then there will have to be a trade that goes on between these.
[518.0s] If you are gaining knowledge from me, then you will help me around my store here and there.
[523.0s] Maybe perhaps do little fetchings for me to go down to the go down to the river
[529.0s] whenever supplies come in and pick up packages that I have brought in from Kingstown or other places.
[535.0s] Does that sound like something you'd be interested in?
[538.0s] Yes, sir. Yep. I could I could do that.
[541.0s] And I'm really fast, too. And I know everywhere.
[544.0s] I know all the fastest ways to get anywhere in this place.
[547.0s] Fantastic. Well, let me let me ask you this.
[552.0s] Why do you want to learn magic?
[555.0s] OK, so here is what I heard is that anyone can do magic.
[565.0s] Anyway, that's that. Anyway, that's what we all like.
[568.0s] One of the older kids told that to me.
[572.0s] And then they went off on a caravan and said that they were going to go and do magic.
[579.0s] And they said that anyone can do it, but that it's really hard.
[583.0s] And you have to be like super strong and stuff.
[586.0s] But that like that everybody has it like in their bodies like blood.
[594.0s] There's truth to what you're saying.
[597.0s] Everybody can learn to do magic now, whether they are able to handle the toll it takes on them is another thing.
[605.0s] You're right. They need to be strong, but not in the sense that like Binch is strong.
[611.0s] You know what I mean? Oh, yeah.
[613.0s] Like up here, she taps her temple. Exactly. Exactly.
[618.0s] Bizarre finally like turns and kind of like kind of like, you know, squats down a little bit to get something from a low shelf.
[625.0s] And he's restocking things. But he looks at Alydin and he says, see my eyes.
[631.0s] See these great flex here. That is the trade off of doing magic.
[638.0s] You will injure yourself.
[640.0s] You will harm yourself either through slight pains, headaches here and there.
[646.0s] Or, you know, larger magics, more complicated magics that come down the line have the potential to temporarily blind and eventually permanently blind.
[657.0s] If you are not careful with how you use it.
[662.0s] I want you to understand the repercussions upfront so that you can make a decision early as to whether this is actually something you want to follow through with.
[670.0s] So like it will blind everybody?
[674.0s] If they go too far, if they happen to overuse or rely on it too much, magic is magic can be used as a tool, but it can also be used as a crutch.
[689.0s] And if I teach you, I want you to understand it is not a crutch.
[692.0s] You have to rely on yourself first.
[695.0s] And then in dire situations or situations that necessitate it, use magic.
[702.0s] So like if maybe I've maybe did a little bit of magic, like by accident.
[710.0s] Hmm.
[712.0s] Then that magic would likely not be as harmful as magic done with intent.
[720.0s] If you are somehow accessing the weave unknowingly, then you are not...
[728.0s] What's the weave?
[730.0s] There's a jingle of a bell as a man walks in and he's looking at some shelves.
[736.0s] Hello? Welcome in. Welcome to the Magic Closet. How can I help you today?
[740.0s] Alydin, I'm sorry, give me one moment. We have a customer to take care of.
[746.0s] And we cut to a shop that is overflowing with luxurious fabrics.
[754.0s] Satin and whatever it was. What the fuck else is a good fabric?
[759.0s] Silks.
[760.0s] Silks and satins. Brushed velvets.
[765.0s] There's just a wall of tracks and polyester.
[771.0s] And we see Bonwyn carrying a few less treats in hand, a few less breakfast items in hand.
[780.0s] Come in and you hear humming in the background.
[783.0s] That of Nevins who is opening up shop for the day.
[787.0s] Hey, I brought you something.
[790.0s] What did you bring me?
[792.0s] It's your favorite.
[793.0s] And she comes out. Oh, those buns though. They're pretty good.
[798.0s] So good. This one is almond paste stuffed.
[801.0s] Almond paste. Love it. Thank you.
[804.0s] It's incredible.
[806.0s] She takes a bite. Sublime. Thank you so much.
[812.0s] My pleasure.
[813.0s] This is probably going to be the best part of my day.
[816.0s] What are you doing tonight?
[818.0s] Why?
[819.0s] Well, I got invited to another of Ignatius' masquerades.
[825.0s] Okay. Cool.
[828.0s] And I got a plus one.
[830.0s] And wondering if you want to go and just like, you know, see what's happening over there.
[839.0s] Maybe give me an excuse to leave early.
[842.0s] Wow. Well, you know I love you.
[845.0s] So I'm not going to say no immediately.
[847.0s] What is the theme of this particular masquerade?
[852.0s] I know he loves a theme.
[855.0s] He does love a theme.
[857.0s] The last one was of course the color green.
[860.0s] I think that's like every second one probably knowing Ignatius.
[864.0s] This one is animals of the wild.
[868.0s] Oh.
[869.0s] He's veering away from just a color palette, which never goes well for anybody.
[876.0s] But animals of the wild is what he's going.
[879.0s] So I'm assuming lots of masks and furs and stuff.
[882.0s] And she picks up just some huge bolts of fur.
[886.0s] So you're going to, what, be a bear?
[888.0s] What are you putting together there?
[891.0s] I was hoping you could put together some cloth.
[895.0s] No, I'm not going to be a bear.
[896.0s] I was going to be like a fox or something.
[899.0s] So it's sexy animals of the wild.
[901.0s] Well, of course it's sexy.
[903.0s] It is at a brothel, I guess.
[905.0s] It's at the Quivering Hills.
[907.0s] Oh, even if it's just the color green, it is sexy green.
[911.0s] It's how little green can you wear?
[915.0s] That was what the whole theme was.
[917.0s] That's the theme actually.
[919.0s] We can make it interesting.
[921.0s] Will you?
[923.0s] Help me.
[925.0s] I've heard about this animal.
[928.0s] I remember reading about it in school.
[930.0s] Do you remember?
[931.0s] It's kind of yellow with brown spots and has a crazy long neck.
[936.0s] Yellow with brown spots.
[939.0s] Super long neck.
[941.0s] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[942.0s] Because I thought.
[944.0s] See if he even knows what a giraffe is.
[949.0s] Yeah, 100%.
[950.0s] You want to be a giraffe?
[952.0s] Well, okay.
[954.0s] It's going to be a stretch to make a long neck sexy giraffe.
[957.0s] Well, I wasn't really worried about the sexy so much.
[960.0s] What I was thinking, though, is that then I would be tall.
[966.0s] I would make a big head, like a big neck comes out.
[971.0s] And Bonwyn's into this now.
[973.0s] Now this is fun now.
[976.0s] Isn't even like, oh, god.
[978.0s] 100% because, again, sexy.
[982.0s] This is not what Bonwyn's describing at all.
[986.0s] You know, like a big kind of Papier-Maché tall head.
[993.0s] But my face would be here so I could see.
[997.0s] And it would be bAlydinced on my shoulder.
[999.0s] Sure.
[1000.0s] So many things are just so cute about this.
[1003.0s] The Papier-Maché.
[1005.0s] Paper-Maché, my dear.
[1007.0s] No, it's fancy.
[1008.0s] It's sexy.
[1009.0s] Right.
[1010.0s] We're going for it.
[1011.0s] It's French.
[1012.0s] You know what?
[1013.0s] I've probably got some materials we can put this together.
[1015.0s] We've got all day.
[1017.0s] I don't know how your schedule is looking.
[1019.0s] But I can get a start on it if you've got to go get some things wrapped up.
[1023.0s] I should at least let Thay know that I'm over here working on a really important project.
[1028.0s] Plus I have his breakfast.
[1031.0s] Okay.
[1032.0s] Well, I'll get started.
[1033.0s] I'll pull some materials.
[1035.0s] And brainstorm how, if you can think of a way we can sexy that up, I am willing to consider it.
[1043.0s] Follow me.
[1044.0s] It's the long neck.
[1045.0s] So everything you've described up to this point.
[1048.0s] But you're you're just wearing next to nothing.
[1054.0s] That would be sexy.
[1057.0s] But maybe that's too much.
[1059.0s] You don't want to draw too much attention to yourself.
[1061.0s] Maybe.
[1062.0s] Oh, you go.
[1065.0s] Maybe we create a two person costume.
[1072.0s] One of us.
[1074.0s] I'm thinking you because you want to feel tall here.
[1077.0s] So you one of us can be the front, the neck, and one of us can be the sexy caboose.
[1082.0s] Even you're making fun of me, aren't you?
[1086.0s] You're making me.
[1088.0s] I'm just building myself up here to be the sexy caboose.
[1094.0s] Okay.
[1095.0s] Yes.
[1096.0s] Yeah.
[1097.0s] Two person costume.
[1098.0s] Great plan.
[1099.0s] It's never.
[1100.0s] You're the one that wants me to come with you.
[1102.0s] I do want you to come with me.
[1104.0s] You be a sexy fox.
[1105.0s] I was thrown by the giraffe.
[1106.0s] I'll be a giraffe.
[1108.0s] Here is my concession to sexiness.
[1111.0s] Okay.
[1112.0s] The body part could be really tight.
[1116.0s] Like a bodysuit.
[1118.0s] So it's like very form fitting.
[1120.0s] I've got some new stuff in.
[1121.0s] Yeah.
[1122.0s] It's hugs.
[1123.0s] It'll hug and that I can maybe get on board with.
[1129.0s] Sure.
[1130.0s] Okay.
[1131.0s] Yeah.
[1132.0s] I'll be back.
[1133.0s] Niven's very excited now and she's going through all of the materials that she has
[1137.0s] pulling yellows and browns and the most huggy of materials and seeing what she can
[1142.0s] string up to make this a two person costume.
[1146.0s] And you head back out into the street and head up to Everbane.
[1149.0s] Fair.
[1150.0s] I honestly believe that she was just teasing me about the two person costume thing,
[1154.0s] but I guess I'll find out.
[1156.0s] We'll find out when we cut back.
[1158.0s] Yeah.
[1159.0s] When we cut back to the masquerade ball.
[1162.0s] Middle, middle.
[1167.0s] Middle, middle.
[1168.0s] Welcome to the middle everybody.
[1170.0s] How you doing?
[1171.0s] Doing pretty great.
[1172.0s] I'm doing fantastic.
[1173.0s] Thank you for asking.
[1174.0s] Pretty good.
[1175.0s] Excellent.
[1176.0s] Well, we're happy that you're here having a great time.
[1178.0s] As you always do.
[1180.0s] And we appreciate you for being here with us.
[1186.0s] I feel like somebody just stretched you out, right?
[1190.0s] It's true.
[1191.0s] We love you.
[1193.0s] As if someone was making that hand motion, but no one was.
[1196.0s] No.
[1197.0s] Russ was in his own mind, maybe.
[1199.0s] He really was.
[1200.0s] Yeah.
[1201.0s] That's happened a lot today.
[1202.0s] So we'll just jump right into it.
[1206.0s] You should join us on Patreon.
[1209.0s] And here's why.
[1210.0s] We have a book club over there.
[1211.0s] No buttering anyone up.
[1212.0s] Just straight to it.
[1213.0s] Straight in.
[1214.0s] Straight to the goods.
[1215.0s] Well, we've got book club.
[1216.0s] And you know what?
[1217.0s] We have to get straight to it because we're meeting on Monday.
[1220.0s] Yep.
[1221.0s] Yes.
[1222.0s] That's right.
[1223.0s] So we're meeting Monday, May 27th.
[1225.0s] Somebody quickly look at a calendar for me.
[1228.0s] 27th.
[1229.0s] That sounds like a Monday.
[1231.0s] The book is Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas.
[1238.0s] Adams?
[1239.0s] Adams?
[1240.0s] Yeah.
[1241.0s] We got this.
[1242.0s] Oh, goodness.
[1243.0s] I was going to say a different first name, last name.
[1248.0s] I got a little messed up there.
[1250.0s] Well, now I wonder what you were going to say.
[1252.0s] I was just glad you said the title because I continually, I'm like, Girk Gently.
[1258.0s] And I'm like, no.
[1261.0s] Girk.
[1262.0s] It is, if you haven't read it yet, you totally have time.
[1266.0s] It's a very short book or listen to the audio book.
[1269.0s] I listen to a full cast recording main character played by a hobbit.
[1274.0s] It's a delight.
[1275.0s] How fun.
[1276.0s] Very, very good.
[1277.0s] Sweet.
[1278.0s] I'm listening to an author.
[1279.0s] Not an author.
[1280.0s] Just a random author.
[1281.0s] Just a random author.
[1282.0s] Some random author picked it up.
[1283.0s] Neil Gaiman raised reading it for some reason.
[1285.0s] He has a beautiful voice.
[1286.0s] They stop every once in a while and they like promote their own book.
[1290.0s] It's kind of odd.
[1291.0s] But no, the author himself is reading the book.
[1297.0s] So I think that's kind of cool because he's reading it how he imagined it in his head.
[1301.0s] I like that.
[1303.0s] Yeah.
[1304.0s] So exactly.
[1305.0s] You definitely have time.
[1308.0s] So come join us.
[1309.0s] It is really fun.
[1311.0s] We just talk about books and stuff and then other stuff also.
[1315.0s] What time are we meeting?
[1317.0s] Probably 7 p.m. Pacific because my friend Tom lives on the West Coast.
[1321.0s] That's me.
[1322.0s] He needs to eat dinner before he can come and join us.
[1325.0s] You don't want cranky Tom who hasn't eaten dinner to be on that call.
[1328.0s] No, we don't want that.
[1329.0s] We just is swearing about Dirk Gently and we're like, no, he seems nice.
[1333.0s] Calling him Girk the whole time.
[1335.0s] Just making myself even madder.
[1337.0s] All of this sounds wonderful and great and I hope everybody can join us on Monday.
[1340.0s] But if they can't join us on Monday, how often do we hold book clubs?
[1344.0s] Book club happens about quarterly.
[1347.0s] We take turns picking and we have really run the gamut.
[1351.0s] I mean, Dirk Gently is pretty on brand, I think, for the podcast.
[1354.0s] But we've had some romance.
[1356.0s] We've done just everybody who's in book club gets a turn to pick the book and can pick whatever they want.
[1362.0s] So it's super fun.
[1365.0s] I love it.
[1366.0s] So you can join us at any tier at patreon.com slash Tom Dragoncast to join us at book club.
[1370.0s] But you also get an episode dedicated to you.
[1372.0s] Like today's patron, Colin Murray.
[1375.0s] Thanks, Colin.
[1377.0s] Thanks, Colin.
[1378.0s] Thanks, Colin.
[1379.0s] Too cool.
[1380.0s] You're awesome.
[1381.0s] So you should be like Colin.
[1382.0s] I don't know if Colin's coming to join the book club, but Colin, you should come join the book club.
[1386.0s] Come join the book club, Colin.
[1387.0s] We'd love to have you.
[1388.0s] And we'll see it segway.
[1393.0s] Strong fish.
[1394.0s] Know how to get out of the bit is what I was always told.
[1397.0s] You just yell, I need out.
[1400.0s] Somebody throw me a life.
[1403.0s] We just star wipe and we're done.
[1405.0s] That's right.
[1406.0s] Star white.
[1407.0s] The rest of the episode.
[1408.0s] I like it.
[1409.0s] We love you so much.
[1410.0s] Yeah, we love you.
[1411.0s] Have a good week.
[1412.0s] Indeed.
[1413.0s] OK, bye.
[1414.0s] Bye.
[1420.0s] City Hall is its usual slow self for the morning.
[1426.0s] Everybody is yawning and sipping their coffee as they walk around giving nods.
[1434.0s] Morning, morning, Jim.
[1437.0s] Cav.
[1438.0s] Cav.
[1439.0s] Good to see you.
[1440.0s] Oh, yeah.
[1441.0s] Hey.
[1442.0s] Nice to see you too.
[1443.0s] Cav can never remember anyone's name.
[1444.0s] A lot of buddies and pals.
[1445.0s] Hey, there.
[1446.0s] Hey, you.
[1447.0s] Passport.
[1448.0s] Lots of people walking past and you make it back to your office.
[1452.0s] Of course, inside your office is Oak, awaiting your arrival.
[1455.0s] And he hears the door creak open.
[1458.0s] He says, you're here.
[1460.0s] It's been so long.
[1461.0s] I've missed you so much.
[1462.0s] It's what have you been up to?
[1464.0s] Where you been?
[1465.0s] Who you seen?
[1466.0s] You know, we were best friends.
[1468.0s] We got tattoos together.
[1469.0s] And then you and Bench just haven't called a lot recently.
[1472.0s] Oh, well, no.
[1473.0s] See, it's actually a funny story.
[1475.0s] I kind of got roped into like this adventure thing.
[1479.0s] Well, of course.
[1480.0s] Yeah.
[1481.0s] OK.
[1482.0s] So how did that go?
[1483.0s] You know, it wasn't the best.
[1486.0s] It was.
[1487.0s] Well, it was kind of a waste of time.
[1489.0s] But I did get to meet.
[1491.0s] Oh, what's his name?
[1493.0s] Bazaar.
[1494.0s] And I had some quality time with him.
[1497.0s] Yeah.
[1498.0s] He seems super cool.
[1499.0s] And we were kind of talking about how, like, everything's a little weird in this town.
[1507.0s] Like, what do you mean?
[1509.0s] Well, just like, you know, I was also chatting with Bonwyn there as well and just like.
[1515.0s] You have so many friends.
[1517.0s] Yeah.
[1518.0s] Well, you know, it's just you got to get out there and like finding things to do
[1522.0s] will connect you with other people.
[1524.0s] You can't just like hole up at home all the time.
[1526.0s] No, of course.
[1527.0s] Yeah.
[1528.0s] Me and mom have been talking about going out, hitting the town one night.
[1532.0s] Yeah.
[1533.0s] Well, you know what?
[1534.0s] Your mom is super, super nice.
[1536.0s] The nicest.
[1537.0s] She just might not be like the best going out on the town person for you.
[1541.0s] You know, she tried it once.
[1542.0s] She hurt her hip.
[1543.0s] Really?
[1544.0s] I'm not surprised by that one bit.
[1546.0s] She makes a great wingman.
[1548.0s] She really talked me up to everybody in the bar.
[1553.0s] Regardless of whether they wanted to listen.
[1557.0s] Have you met my handsome son?
[1560.0s] I'm fucking dying.
[1563.0s] He works for the government.
[1566.0s] Yeah.
[1567.0s] But yeah, we're kind of chatting about how like things are weird in town.
[1573.0s] Like the money just doesn't seem to be being spent in the right places.
[1578.0s] Like we need to go visit a different shop.
[1582.0s] Like somebody's not doing well.
[1583.0s] We need to go buy some sandwiches.
[1586.0s] No, no, more of like the taxes.
[1588.0s] Taxes.
[1589.0s] The tax money from the town.
[1590.0s] Oh, the taxes.
[1591.0s] Right.
[1592.0s] Not a lot of gold statues and not a lot of like new schools, you know?
[1597.0s] Well, what the mayor says about schools is that they rot your brain.
[1602.0s] So it was best to get, you know, like the mayor before him,
[1606.0s] it just really solidified getting schools out of the situation.
[1610.0s] Oh, so it's been multiple, multiple mayors with this platform.
[1614.0s] Yeah.
[1615.0s] I mean, it started slow.
[1617.0s] You know, they started just cutting funding, that sort of thing.
[1621.0s] Doing what they could with what they had.
[1623.0s] Cutting funding to the school?
[1625.0s] This would never stand in Kingstown.
[1627.0s] Look, this is just the way it was.
[1629.0s] And then, you know, over time, it's just we realized that schools weren't for everybody.
[1637.0s] OK.
[1638.0s] We still have the one where, you know, on this side of the river,
[1642.0s] where some of the kids go.
[1645.0s] Sure.
[1646.0s] But so it's only the one on this side of the room.
[1648.0s] No other ones.
[1649.0s] Everything else has been shut down.
[1651.0s] Yeah, no, I.
[1654.0s] It's a voucher system.
[1656.0s] He doesn't see any problem with this.
[1659.0s] Yeah, no, there's just the one on this side.
[1661.0s] I mean, what's the issue there?
[1662.0s] What do they what do they do in Kingstown?
[1664.0s] Like schools on every street corner?
[1666.0s] No, I mean, that's a little excessive.
[1668.0s] But for every like kind of district or even neighborhood,
[1671.0s] they have like a school there so that the local kids can go there.
[1677.0s] I mean, you could just, you know, learn like I did.
[1681.0s] Learn from your ma until she sends you out and gets a job.
[1685.0s] And then you learn from that person.
[1687.0s] And just like you're learning from me in this role,
[1690.0s] because I'm your your superior in this position.
[1693.0s] Supervisor, sure.
[1695.0s] Super.
[1697.0s] Ear.
[1698.0s] Ear.
[1699.0s] Visor.
[1700.0s] Superior visor is what I am.
[1702.0s] You're learning.
[1703.0s] You're learning the ropes from me and the way we do things.
[1705.0s] I'm your inventors.
[1706.0s] That's how we pass information along.
[1708.0s] You know, it's OK.
[1710.0s] Speaking of superior visors, isn't Nina kick it around at all?
[1715.0s] I'd love to finally meet her.
[1716.0s] Yeah, Nina.
[1717.0s] I thought I saw Nina today.
[1720.0s] You did mention that you wanted to meet Nina.
[1722.0s] I brought it up at my last meeting with her.
[1725.0s] My last one on one there with Nina.
[1727.0s] And, you know, she said she was interested.
[1730.0s] She would try and make some time.
[1733.0s] Well, we're not like going on a date.
[1734.0s] I just want to talk to her about the city's finances.
[1737.0s] Right. Right.
[1739.0s] Well, you know, let's just go see see what Nina's up to right now.
[1743.0s] Yeah.
[1744.0s] I've got that part.
[1745.0s] Sure. Yeah, absolutely.
[1746.0s] What do you work?
[1747.0s] Yeah.
[1748.0s] I mean, we could say.
[1749.0s] I can leave this behind.
[1750.0s] Don't you worry about that.
[1751.0s] Oh, OK.
[1752.0s] Yeah.
[1753.0s] I know.
[1754.0s] I noticed you left a whole bunch of things there.
[1756.0s] I told you the adventure I went on.
[1759.0s] Yeah, it was the hidden paperwork as he's like walking down the hall.
[1762.0s] There was the hidden paperwork floor and it was underneath the desk.
[1765.0s] It was tucked away.
[1766.0s] I don't know.
[1767.0s] You can't hide paperwork.
[1768.0s] I don't know what you're talking about.
[1769.0s] And I find this attack on my character to be upsetting and out of place from you.
[1774.0s] You want to talk to Nina?
[1777.0s] You're going to have to do your paperwork.
[1779.0s] But after we talk to Nina.
[1780.0s] Look, I told you.
[1782.0s] I told you that I would get this meeting done.
[1785.0s] OK.
[1786.0s] I told you that.
[1787.0s] And I'm a man of my word.
[1788.0s] So let's go talk to Nina.
[1790.0s] OK.
[1791.0s] Awesome.
[1792.0s] Oh, my God.
[1793.0s] That's the best pushover ever.
[1795.0s] If you want to talk to Nina, you're going to have to get your paperwork done.
[1798.0s] But like after.
[1799.0s] After you talk to Nina.
[1802.0s] Also, canonically, Baldwin and Oak went to school together.
[1805.0s] So I don't know what he's talking about.
[1807.0s] Not like school.
[1810.0s] He's been drinking the Kool-Aid.
[1812.0s] Yeah, he's so like, no, no, school's bad now.
[1815.0s] Yep.
[1816.0s] Towing that party line.
[1817.0s] Good for me, but not for thee.
[1819.0s] That's right.
[1820.0s] He went back home and told mama about it and said, no, Thomas Jefferson's the devil.
[1828.0s] We hear those footsteps kind of fade out and the conversations fade out and then
[1832.0s] pick back up and there's a small knock at the door and Oak calls in.
[1838.0s] Is Nina there?
[1842.0s] There's a voice of a receptionist as you open the door and you see, who is it?
[1847.0s] And do you have an appointment?
[1849.0s] Well, Kavlaran here.
[1852.0s] I wanted to talk to Nina right now.
[1854.0s] Well, I mean, I just wanted to.
[1856.0s] Yeah, right now, right now.
[1858.0s] You see the receptionist kind of nod her head and stand up and go into the next room.
[1864.0s] And then after a moment, Oak looks at you and is like, yeah, yeah, we told them.
[1870.0s] We're going to get we're going to get you the answers you need for for Kingstown, right?
[1876.0s] That's the questions you're asking for.
[1878.0s] Yeah. OK, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Love it.
[1880.0s] And then she comes back out and yeah, come on, come on in.
[1884.0s] Come on in.
[1885.0s] Two of you walk through the door and it's a smaller office with a large desk inside of it.
[1891.0s] Really want to dominate the space.
[1893.0s] That's right.
[1895.0s] There's two small stools on the one side.
[1898.0s] It's confusing how the desk got in the room.
[1901.0s] Oh, yeah, no, they actually built the desk in the room.
[1906.0s] It was original inside.
[1910.0s] There's a large desk, two small stools.
[1913.0s] And you see seated behind is the lovely bob cut of Nina, who is taking a sip of her tea.
[1920.0s] And she puts it down.
[1921.0s] Yes, darling, come on in.
[1923.0s] Come in and close the door.
[1924.0s] What can I do for you?
[1925.0s] Come on. It's been too long.
[1926.0s] I mean, I say too long.
[1928.0s] It's been I haven't talked to you not one bit.
[1931.0s] So please come in and let's catch up.
[1934.0s] Let's talk about all the things that you have on your mind.
[1938.0s] And then you can send your report back to Kingstown and be on your way.
[1942.0s] Let's like we know it's what you want.
[1944.0s] I mean, yeah, that sounds really good.
[1946.0s] Quick question, though.
[1947.0s] How do I get the door closed with everything in the way of it?
[1951.0s] Oh, yes, yes, of course.
[1952.0s] Just come on in.
[1953.0s] Come in.
[1954.0s] And she hops up on the desk and kind of elbows you off to the side.
[1958.0s] So you just stand right there.
[1959.0s] Don't move, darling.
[1960.0s] OK, all right.
[1961.0s] You're over there.
[1962.0s] Everybody just hold your stools, hold your stools in your hands.
[1965.0s] OK, you have some good.
[1968.0s] Good.
[1969.0s] And then she pushes the door shut.
[1971.0s] OK, now you put your stools back down.
[1973.0s] You sit back down.
[1974.0s] Well, lathering repeats once we're done here.
[1976.0s] But tell me what are your questions?
[1979.0s] Just mainly where's all the money from the taxes going if it's not going to just gold statues in town?
[1988.0s] The taxes from the money go back to the cities, the infrastructures, the big meetings, the big, you know, paying all of the very high.
[1995.0s] Can we go back to that first one with the infrastructure there?
[1998.0s] Yes, yes, yes.
[1999.0s] Haven't you seen the lovely gold laden streets here on the sides of the river?
[2003.0s] OK, well, there's like the one gold laden street.
[2005.0s] Yes.
[2006.0s] But every other street's not doing so great.
[2009.0s] That is very bad for them.
[2011.0s] But there is only so much money to go around.
[2013.0s] Oh, sure.
[2014.0s] Yeah, no, I understand that part.
[2016.0s] Why no schools?
[2017.0s] Oak here's saying schools bad.
[2020.0s] That's not the attitude that we have up in Kingstown.
[2023.0s] Oh, we don't say schools are bad.
[2026.0s] We say schools are not necessary.
[2029.0s] But why aren't they necessary?
[2031.0s] Dear Keflaren, education attains the minds.
[2036.0s] Oh.
[2037.0s] There's too many things happening in schools that really just bring down the people.
[2042.0s] So we prefer that they learn from their elders.
[2047.0s] OK, so that comes free.
[2050.0s] A story driven narrative type history.
[2053.0s] Exactly, exactly.
[2055.0s] So they learn from their people and the community,
[2058.0s] and then they pick up all the things that they need,
[2061.0s] and then they live a happy life without being burdened by
[2065.0s] how many years were they putting people through schools?
[2068.0s] Are you wasting too much time?
[2070.0s] Get out into the workforce, am I right?
[2072.0s] And she puts her hand up for a high five.
[2074.0s] Sure, it tentatively gives a high five.
[2078.0s] Yeah, I know what we're saying.
[2080.0s] All right, so there's your report.
[2081.0s] I'll see you later.
[2082.0s] Oh, OK, can we like maybe,
[2086.0s] I'm still going to be around for a few more days.
[2088.0s] Can we chat again in the future?
[2090.0s] Oh, you got more questions?
[2091.0s] Well, I mean, this was just all very sudden,
[2093.0s] and I didn't really come with like my A game.
[2096.0s] But yeah.
[2098.0s] OK, OK, OK.
[2100.0s] Let me see.
[2101.0s] And she flips open her book.
[2104.0s] I could pencil you in.
[2108.0s] I mean, you snuck into this appointment today,
[2110.0s] so that was right before the mayoral meeting,
[2113.0s] which we have in just a few moments.
[2116.0s] Can I go to things like that,
[2118.0s] or is that only for like the higher ups?
[2121.0s] I will ask.
[2123.0s] First point on the agenda.
[2124.0s] If Kavlaran can come to the mayoral meetings.
[2128.0s] Perfect.
[2129.0s] I will promise that I will ask that for you.
[2132.0s] And then we can discuss this
[2135.0s] and any other questions you have in three weeks.
[2142.0s] Oh, that seems OK.
[2144.0s] What if I just like swing on by now
[2146.0s] that I know where your office is?
[2147.0s] Kind of like today.
[2148.0s] That would be lovely.
[2150.0s] I enjoy that very much.
[2152.0s] And I will wait and with anticipation
[2155.0s] right here in this seat,
[2157.0s] I will be nowhere else in the building forever.
[2163.0s] OK, cool.
[2164.0s] Waiting for you to swing by.
[2166.0s] Alright, so yeah, I'll probably
[2167.0s] I'll come back in like a day or two
[2169.0s] and we'll chat again.
[2171.0s] A day or two and she flips back.
[2175.0s] There could be a brief moment
[2177.0s] once my tea and perhaps at lunch
[2179.0s] that I could sneak in.
[2180.0s] So yeah, if you time it right,
[2182.0s] the day or two will be perfect.
[2184.0s] OK, awesome.
[2185.0s] Well, it's been nice to see.
[2186.0s] OK, so you got to stand up
[2187.0s] and move back to the corner.
[2188.0s] Oh, right, OK.
[2189.0s] Yeah, OK.
[2190.0s] So I just I pick this up
[2191.0s] and I move over here.
[2192.0s] Yeah, yeah.
[2193.0s] You just go back to the corner.
[2194.0s] Oh, you over there.
[2195.0s] Yeah, sorry.
[2196.0s] OK.
[2197.0s] Just hold it.
[2200.0s] And now you have to climb up
[2201.0s] on top of the desk too
[2202.0s] because now there's a point
[2204.0s] of which you can't get around.
[2205.0s] Oh, yeah.
[2206.0s] No, there's a whole rigmarole, isn't it?
[2208.0s] Sorry.
[2211.0s] OK, have a great day.
[2212.0s] See you next time.
[2215.0s] You want to roll.
[2217.0s] How much was Kavalarin
[2218.0s] paying attention in that room?
[2220.0s] He was paying attention
[2222.0s] because he wasn't like there was
[2224.0s] no room for the conversation
[2225.0s] to go anywhere.
[2227.0s] So he was trying to pick up
[2228.0s] like any sort of clue he could
[2230.0s] while he was in the space.
[2232.0s] So if you're looking for
[2236.0s] that maybe an investigation role
[2238.0s] to see what you may have seen
[2241.0s] while you were in there.
[2242.0s] All right.
[2243.0s] Solid, solid rating on this
[2245.0s] investigation skill for me
[2247.0s] with my minus two.
[2249.0s] That's eleven actually.
[2250.0s] And Nina has behind the desk.
[2253.0s] There are a couple of
[2254.0s] tall filing cabinets
[2255.0s] and a small tea set
[2257.0s] that was behind her.
[2258.0s] It did appear that one
[2260.0s] of the cabinets,
[2262.0s] two of the lower shelves
[2264.0s] that you would have seen
[2265.0s] or been able to see
[2267.0s] had some fairly sizable
[2269.0s] locking hardware on them.
[2272.0s] Is there a portrait
[2273.0s] of Ronald Reagan?
[2277.0s] That's how you know
[2278.0s] that she's the bad guy.
[2282.0s] There is a portrait of somebody
[2284.0s] with a very poorly done toupee.
[2286.0s] OK, I make a little mental note
[2288.0s] of the locked cabinets.
[2292.0s] You and Oak head back
[2293.0s] to your office
[2294.0s] and Oak says, well, it's time
[2295.0s] to do that paperwork then
[2296.0s] as you make small talk
[2298.0s] back down to work.
[2299.0s] Yeah, absolutely.
[2300.0s] Should we go for lunch
[2301.0s] before that?
[2302.0s] Or like, what's the plan there?
[2304.0s] Go for lunch.
[2305.0s] You just got here.
[2307.0s] OK, well, I mean,
[2309.0s] just to show you
[2312.0s] how much of a supervisor I am.
[2315.0s] Let's go for lunch now
[2316.0s] and then we'll do the paperwork
[2317.0s] when we get back.
[2318.0s] OK?
[2319.0s] Awesome.
[2325.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons,
[2328.0s] season three, episode 20,
[2330.0s] starring Amy More as Alydin,
[2332.0s] Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everpain,
[2334.0s] Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave,
[2336.0s] Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard,
[2339.0s] and Russ More as your dungeon master.
[2341.0s] Dialogue editing by Carla Maxted
[2343.0s] and sound design by Russ More.
[2345.0s] This episode featured music
[2347.0s] from Epidemic Sound and Slipstream
[2349.0s] and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,
[2351.0s] Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
[2353.0s] Our amazing cover art and character designs
[2356.0s] are by Matt Garbutt,
[2357.0s] and a huge thank you
[2358.0s] to our supporting producers,
[2359.0s] Gabriel Lynch,
[2360.0s] Jessica Babiak,
[2361.0s] Cat Waterflame,
[2362.0s] Jacob Madden,
[2363.0s] Christian Brown,
[2364.0s] Onger Ong Kiersen,
[2365.0s] Perry Mady,
[2366.0s] Craig Zeiss,
[2367.0s] Old School Gamer D,
[2368.0s] L.A. Branton,
[2369.0s] Nathaniel Teeter,
[2370.0s] and Aaron.
[2371.0s] Do you feel like you're missing out
[2373.0s] on more adventure?
[2374.0s] Well, you can join us on Patreon
[2376.0s] at patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast,
[2379.0s] where there's so much adventure.
[2380.0s] An exclusive podcast called
[2382.0s] The Adventures Of that has, well,
[2384.0s] five seasons now going into our sixth season.
[2387.0s] We've got Cyberpunk Red.
[2389.0s] We've got the Session Zero
[2390.0s] and Episode One comes out this week.
[2393.0s] Tons of one shots, hangouts,
[2395.0s] and so much more.
[2396.0s] Come join us today
[2397.0s] at patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast.
[2399.0s] Seven day free trial.
[2400.0s] Get some merch.
[2401.0s] It's a great time.
[2402.0s] We'll hope to see you over there.
[2403.0s] Okay, you have a great week.
[2404.0s] Thanks for being here.
[2406.0s] We'll talk to you soon.
[2407.0s] We hear the town criers
[2409.0s] throughout the streets.
[2411.0s] Bonjour, bonjour, bonjour, bonjour.
[2414.0s] Oh, damn it.
[2415.0s] Sorry.
[2416.0s] That's exactly what I pictured.
[2417.0s] And I was like, wait,
[2418.0s] we've literally already done that.
[2420.0s] Yeah.
[2421.0s] It's happened.
[2422.0s] We're only 20 episodes in.
[2423.0s] We can't replay that exact scene.
[2425.0s] Damn it.
[2426.0s] Sorry.
[2427.0s] When you say the open.
[2428.0s] The open sign.
[2429.0s] Is turned around.
[2431.0s] To show open or closed.
[2433.0s] Open.
[2435.0s] The open sign is visible within the window.
[2438.0s] Okay.
[2439.0s] Displayed.
[2440.0s] The open sign is displayed clearly in the window.
[2443.0s] Poor Russ.
[2444.0s] Poor Russ dealing with two of us.
[2446.0s] Cause I assume that's what you were asking too.
[2448.0s] We're the worst.
[2449.0s] Sorry, Russ.
[2450.0s] I was like, I don't know.
[2451.0s] I didn't know.
[2452.0s] I was like, if it's open,
[2453.0s] when I just come in,
[2454.0s] I'm going to be like.
[2455.0s] You're cautious.
[2456.0s] You're a scam.
[2457.0s] I am.
[2458.0s] You don't just rush in.
[2459.0s] You're a scam.
[2460.0s] You're right.
[2461.0s] I wouldn't just rush in.
[2462.0s] But Amy needed to know
[2464.0s] what direction the sign was pointing.
[2466.0s] Fair.
[2467.0s] Dumb Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.