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[7.6s] We hear heavy bass tones and lights are flashing all over the deck as we see this
[16.4s] pirate crew dancing around. They've got their they're throwing their hats in the air.
[23.2s] There's a guy standing behind a table who's who's got I mean, what can only be
[27.8s] described as a record player and he's scratching it as everybody has clearly taken something
[34.2s] and are just enjoying their time except for Kavlaran, Bonwyn, and Alladin who are in a
[44.0s] cage off to the side of the-
[47.3s] Another fucking cage.
[49.3s] You weren't going to be, but then you said it.
[52.7s] I didn't say it!
[54.0s] Somebody said it, so now it's happened.
[56.8s] You're off to the side of the deck of this large, which you now discovered is a pirate
[62.4s] ship.
[63.4s] The three of you are looking on this party that's happening in front of you.
[67.8s] Rage!
[68.8s] Hell yeah, brother!
[70.8s] Our new friends are just mingling, like, clearly.
[73.8s] Oh, they've been, yes, clearly they were supposed to be here.
[79.4s] Our shirt's off.
[80.4s] We're throwing it around somewhere, you know?
[82.7s] Perfect.
[83.7s] Am I still gagged?
[85.8s] You are not gagged.
[86.8s] Cool.
[87.8s] That would have been a sad episode for Amy.
[90.8s] Wouldn't be surprised.
[93.8s] And we move over to Chogar and Publgar and Tober who are approached by what you three
[102.2s] presume is the captain and he comes up to them and says, oh, it's nice to see
[106.9s] you.
[107.9s] Captain Jacob, it's lovely to have you in the crew.
[111.1s] Now these three that you brought, did you bring them as recruits or did you bring
[114.4s] them as food?
[116.0s] Well, that's kind of the predicament I'm in right now because, not going to lie, we went
[118.9s] over to the parents, like, you know, the retirement home.
[123.2s] Honestly, we should plunder that place, let me tell you.
[125.2s] Right for the picking.
[126.7s] Right for the picking.
[127.7s] Hold on, hold on.
[128.7s] We'll talk about plundering in a moment here.
[130.2s] Yeah, but it's good to know, good to know, okay.
[132.4s] But they said something about finger sandwiches and honestly, I just, I haven't been
[136.8s] able to get the thought out of my head now.
[138.8s] But at the same time, they were really delightful and really lovely and they
[142.6s] did bring us here.
[143.8s] I think, against my stomach judgment, that they could bring a lot to the pirate team,
[150.7s] you know.
[151.7s] Okay, he kind of peeks around the hulking Cho'gar bubble guard and looks at you and
[158.6s] raises an eyebrow and says, oh, I don't know, they look like, I've seen them
[164.6s] around before, they look like they're, that one there looks like he's part of
[168.6s] the government.
[169.6s] It looks like he's got a real government smell to him.
[172.6s] Government?
[173.6s] He's got a tattoo, there's no way he's part of the government.
[175.9s] Oh, what's his tattoo of?
[177.4s] It's like some awesome lines, like really good line work.
[181.0s] Nice, nice.
[182.0s] Okay, well, we'll have to check that out.
[183.9s] They lined it up really good.
[185.0s] It's a full back tattoo, it's like probably gang stuff or something, but.
[190.0s] A full back tattoo, all right, we'll have to check it out.
[193.9s] Hey, are you three cool?
[195.9s] Yeah, I'm cool, like you're going to give us some weed?
[199.3s] Then yes.
[200.3s] They're going to give us some weed?
[203.5s] They're cool.
[204.5s] Her dad told her not to do ecstasy, but I think it's an ecstasy kind of thing.
[208.0s] I'm just going to throw that out there right now.
[210.1s] I fully agree.
[211.1s] Did you bring some?
[212.6s] Oh, I mean, maybe that old guy has some.
[215.8s] I mean, he was talking about it.
[217.5s] He talked about it so much.
[219.0s] Yeah.
[220.0s] All right, well, we'll have to go check that out maybe a little bit later.
[224.1s] In the meantime, he throws a bottle up in the air and it smashes down on the
[227.8s] deck, she says, let's dance.
[229.8s] Rage.
[230.8s] Seems real wasteful.
[232.8s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast, and I'm your
[237.3s] dungeon master Russ More, he, him.
[239.8s] Also with me today is Amy More as Alydin, she, her.
[243.6s] Do you want me to get back in the boat, go back and get your dad?
[246.8s] Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane, she, her.
[250.2s] We all are in love with the captain.
[252.3s] Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, he, him.
[255.4s] You might need to be a little more specific.
[257.4s] With special guests from Looters, Ian Overton and Matthew Aberly as
[261.1s] Bubblegar and Cho-Gar.
[262.7s] Oh, we still have those finger sandwiches in the bucket, though, right?
[266.1s] I mean, the sandwiches were for everyone.
[268.6s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon supported podcast, and you can join us
[272.4s] today, get a seven day free trial and get access to a whole bunch of bonus
[276.6s] content, including exclusive podcasts just for you.
[280.0s] Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast.
[282.0s] We'll see you over and now, fuck it, let's play.
[284.4s] We cut ahead and the entire pirate crew is passed out on the deck.
[292.8s] Wow, they raged.
[294.6s] Including Bubblegar and Cho-Gar, they've been partying all night long.
[299.0s] Bonwyn are all day long because we said it was morning last time.
[303.3s] And, you know, it's a midday, midday rager.
[306.0s] Dager.
[307.8s] Kavlaran Bonwyn and Alydin, you're looking out over, you hear
[313.3s] snores now, everything has died down, and this is where we find you three.
[319.0s] OK, so in hindsight, maybe not the best idea to just like get in a boat with
[322.8s] some strangers or take them to your parents' house.
[325.4s] So I'm going to that one's on me.
[327.2s] I should have. You guys are the adults here.
[329.8s] You are so right. I've been told multiple times that I'm a child.
[333.2s] So this is kind of on you guys, I think, a little bit.
[337.6s] That's fair. Kavlaran what are we going to what are we going to do here?
[341.8s] We got to get out of here.
[342.9s] Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's that's step number one of the plan.
[346.7s] But how do we make that happen?
[348.6s] How do we make that?
[349.5s] Oh, can we can we lift this cage?
[351.4s] Because the last time I was in a cage,
[354.4s] Tally and I just kind of could lift it up and and walk with it.
[358.0s] I mean, I guess it's worth the shot.
[360.3s] Yeah. What's the cage like for us?
[363.3s] It is definitely a a fully, fully secure.
[368.4s] Not just like popsicle sticks sitting on the ground.
[371.5s] Not just popsicle sticks sitting on the ground.
[373.8s] Is it wooden or is it OK?
[376.5s] Yeah, yeah, it's wooden.
[377.8s] Wooden bars.
[378.8s] There appears to be some sort of locking some lock on the on the on the door itself.
[385.8s] But it is wood. OK.
[387.4s] They have taken your weapons.
[389.5s] You don't have your weapons on you.
[392.5s] They've taken your bucket.
[394.6s] I know. Our spare sandwiches were in there.
[398.0s] And other things. And all of your worldly possessions.
[400.7s] All of that as well.
[401.6s] Super important stuff.
[404.6s] But everybody's passed out, so that's good.
[408.8s] I don't know, guys, what do we do here?
[410.2s] Alydin, can you fit through here?
[411.6s] Like, can you just you're quite slight?
[416.2s] You just fit through the bars.
[417.9s] Can I squeeze?
[419.5s] You went like this.
[420.4s] So I don't know if it's like like lattice.
[424.0s] Yeah. And they're like little holes.
[427.2s] Yeah, I wouldn't say you could easily sneak out.
[431.4s] I don't do anything easily.
[433.0s] You could try, though.
[434.4s] Give it a try. Yeah, there's there's like maybe a corner joint.
[437.5s] I mean, if we could cavlar in, we could each like pull to try to.
[442.6s] Maybe a joint athletics versus dexterity.
[448.9s] Well, your your athletics to try and pull it apart.
[453.0s] To plus Alydin's dexterity to sneak through.
[456.8s] That makes more sense.
[459.8s] All right. 19 for cav.
[461.6s] For athletics, 17 for me.
[466.6s] But I roll stealth.
[469.0s] I'm trying to sneak out of the cage.
[472.0s] Well, how about a 16?
[474.2s] Oh, love it. OK.
[476.7s] That is a big role for me.
[477.9s] I'm very excited.
[479.4s] Very pleased with myself.
[481.6s] So waiting for the just the perfect snore,
[485.1s] you both pull on the side,
[487.6s] Kavlaran Bowen both pull on the sides and make
[491.8s] just large enough hole that Alydin is able to sneak through
[495.7s] one of the joints in this cage.
[499.0s] Alydin, you get to the other side and you hear that you're right beside
[503.0s] Bubblegar and Chogar,
[505.5s] who let out another huge snore and one hand kind of comes across
[510.2s] and slaps down on the deck right beside you,
[513.4s] causing you to freeze for just to clarify, it's Chogar that's snoring,
[516.6s] not not Bubblegar.
[517.6s] Bubblegar doesn't snore. Fair enough. Yeah.
[521.3s] What now? Go get.
[526.4s] Wait.
[531.5s] What actually makes you want to get back in the boat?
[534.3s] Go back and get your dad.
[536.1s] Oh, I don't think you can.
[537.4s] You can't roll the boat all by yourself.
[539.7s] It's too big.
[540.7s] No, not with that attitude.
[544.6s] I mean, we know that you you give it a good try,
[547.4s] but yeah, probably can't just physically reach to get that done.
[552.4s] Yeah. Do we want to send Alydin to get our weapons
[557.6s] and things or try and see if we know who has a key to the lock
[562.5s] and like get us out to get out?
[566.1s] Hmm. Do we have every any memory of being put in the cage?
[569.5s] Yeah, we must know who locked it, right?
[571.1s] They gave you ecstasy before you came along.
[573.1s] Dammit. You completely reformed the whole group.
[577.7s] The captain locked the mech that you were tossed in.
[581.5s] The captain locked you in.
[583.0s] So you can presume that the captain, who you see,
[587.4s] leaned up against the the wheel of the mast.
[592.3s] But the steering is the steering wheel.
[594.1s] Yeah, it's a steering wheel.
[595.8s] The helm.
[596.7s] They do not turn the mast to turn the ship.
[599.8s] Yeah, it's like the rudder, right?
[602.1s] Yeah, I know.
[604.1s] He is up by the wheel and like passed out on the side.
[608.5s] Looks to be sleeping as well.
[612.1s] I just remembered something.
[613.8s] I have thieves tools so I can try and pick the lock.
[618.1s] Love it.
[619.0s] Alydin, why don't you go get our stuff and come back here?
[622.2s] And I'm going to try and get me and Cav out.
[624.6s] If we like know where they put our stuff.
[626.3s] We do, right?
[627.2s] They would have taken it.
[627.9s] We were drugged.
[628.8s] We saw the whole thing.
[629.8s] Yeah, you saw them go below deck with your stuff.
[632.4s] Yeah.
[632.6s] OK.
[633.0s] All right.
[634.0s] OK.
[635.8s] You be quiet.
[637.1s] All right.
[637.5s] Roll stealth for your sneaking away.
[639.8s] Fuck.
[641.9s] Oh, a 19, you guys.
[643.6s] It's just getting better.
[644.9s] So yeah, very nimbly,
[646.8s] soft-footed, moving between all these hulking pirates.
[651.1s] You make your way back and out.
[652.7s] So they call me Alley Soft Paws.
[656.0s] Alydin disappears from view for you two.
[658.8s] Do you want to try your lockpicking?
[661.0s] So that'd be a sleight of hand.
[662.4s] OK.
[665.4s] I also have thieves tools.
[667.6s] That's a 24.
[669.0s] It's in your bucket.
[670.0s] I took your bucket.
[671.0s] Wow.
[672.2s] 24?
[673.4s] Goodness.
[673.9s] Love it.
[674.6s] Some real Tom Rolls going on here.
[677.4s] Well done.
[678.1s] Where do you keep your thieves tools
[679.2s] that they wouldn't have taken them away from you?
[680.8s] I think because I have
[683.1s] I'm always kind of wearing that leather apron,
[684.8s] like my blacksmith's apron.
[686.0s] There's a bunch of little pockets and stuff on it.
[688.3s] And it wouldn't seem like a weapon.
[691.1s] It's just a little box that has a variety of little,
[694.3s] you know, metal sticks in it for me to go.
[697.0s] Love it.
[698.3s] Perfect.
[699.2s] So you pull those out.
[700.3s] And as Alydin disappears,
[701.8s] you quickly and nimbly like hear the lock pop,
[707.4s] which causes
[711.4s] Bubblegar to stir.
[712.8s] Bonwyn, make a perception roll.
[714.3s] Okay.
[715.5s] To see if you notice Bubblegar.
[719.8s] That's an 11.
[721.8s] Pretty focused on that lock.
[723.7s] Yeah, you're focused on the lock.
[725.0s] Bubblegar, your eye cracks open
[727.2s] and you see Bonwyn fiddling with the lock there.
[731.8s] You're calling what you do with that information.
[734.8s] I'm going to stir my brother up awake as well.
[737.3s] I'll like bang my head against him
[739.4s] like a couple of times.
[741.0s] Give him a little head butt.
[741.9s] Stop it, I'm sleeping.
[743.5s] Cho-gar, Cho-gar, Cho-gar.
[745.1s] Shut up.
[747.3s] Dinner's trying to get out right now.
[751.5s] The dinner's trying to get out right now.
[753.3s] The dinner's trying to get out.
[755.1s] What?
[757.0s] Bonwyn, at this point,
[757.9s] you've definitely noticed that they're talking to each other.
[760.4s] It's not like code for I'm going to barf.
[762.3s] Dinner's trying to get out now,
[763.4s] but brace yourself.
[767.9s] I think I'll just leave it unlocked,
[771.7s] but then like act nonchAlydint.
[774.9s] Even though one of the prisoners is now gone,
[776.9s] I'm just sitting cool and casual,
[780.0s] like nothing's happening,
[781.0s] hoping they just go back to sleep.
[782.4s] Maybe I'm humming like,
[785.6s] go to sleep.
[788.4s] Two of you roll investigation with this advantage
[791.0s] to see if you've noticed that Alydin is gone.
[792.8s] Gotcha.
[794.0s] Disadvantage for the Gopi's Amounts
[795.7s] of Drugs and Alcohol.
[796.8s] Five.
[798.0s] All right, so yeah, you notice that they're fiddling
[801.4s] with the lock.
[802.3s] You don't see that it's been popped
[804.6s] and you don't notice that you're missing a person
[807.3s] in this cage.
[808.4s] Yeah, I got a three.
[810.2s] I got a three.
[811.1s] So I definitely noticed less.
[813.5s] I'm still asleep.
[814.5s] I'm still asleep.
[816.8s] She's standing there so calmly and casually.
[818.9s] There's no way she could have been trying
[820.3s] to escape anyways.
[821.4s] I mean, look at her disposition.
[823.1s] Yeah, no.
[824.2s] And even if they wanted to get out,
[825.6s] this is pirate engineering here.
[827.5s] This is top of the line stuff.
[828.8s] There's no way that they could, you know,
[830.8s] fiddle with the lock and get out of there.
[832.4s] I'm fine.
[834.1s] I'll slowly drift back off to sleep.
[837.5s] Okay, great.
[839.4s] Below deck, Alydin, you swiftly move down
[845.2s] the stairs that are presented to you
[847.6s] and you find yourself in the hold of the ship
[850.4s] and there's crates on crates.
[854.1s] There's looks like fine textiles.
[858.9s] It looks like there's some pottery.
[861.0s] It looks like there's some huge paintings
[863.2s] that have coverings over them.
[864.7s] You see weapons.
[867.0s] You see piles of gold.
[870.3s] And tucked off and to the right,
[874.8s] as you go down there,
[876.8s] you see your weapon, your bucket
[880.0s] and any weapons that Bonwyn and Kavlaran had on them.
[883.4s] Yes.
[886.5s] Sneaky over there.
[888.0s] I do stop and look under to see
[892.8s] what paintings are under there
[894.3s] and I may dip down and snag a gold piece or two
[899.8s] for the children.
[901.0s] Of course, yep.
[902.9s] And then I remember that movie,
[903.7s] The Pirates of the Caribbean
[904.8s] and maybe it's cursed so I put it back.
[906.6s] No, I do take it.
[909.6s] Okay, so you take a gold piece?
[912.6s] I take three gold pieces.
[913.6s] Three gold pieces.
[914.4s] You wanna put that on your character sheet?
[915.8s] Yeah, I do.
[917.6s] Are you gonna make me put on my character sheet
[919.7s] and then immediately I'm gonna get frisked
[922.4s] and they're gonna take it
[923.2s] and I'm gonna have to take it off my character sheet?
[924.7s] I don't know.
[925.6s] It depends on how well you roll going back upstairs.
[928.2s] It's fucking bullshit.
[931.4s] And I don't have my,
[932.9s] I know Kav has a huge ax maybe or something.
[937.1s] My weapons are all small
[938.2s] so she could just chuck them in the bucket.
[940.3s] If she, I have daggers, it's fine.
[943.0s] Perfect.
[943.8s] Kav, you would have,
[945.7s] we've canonically said you carry your shield
[948.2s] and your hammer along with you.
[950.0s] Yeah, like all the time, right?
[951.6s] Yeah.
[952.4s] So yeah, those two are the biggest ones.
[955.0s] Roll strength to see if you're able to lift Kav's hammer.
[960.2s] Okay.
[962.1s] Captain America mode.
[962.9s] Thor's hammer.
[965.8s] I'm gonna shift it just a little bit.
[968.0s] Strength or athletics if you wanna apply something to it.
[971.8s] Yeah, let's apply my minus one to it.
[973.8s] Six.
[977.6s] Doesn't budge.
[978.6s] Yeah, you're able to take the shield.
[980.1s] You can gather up all of Bonwyn's material
[982.9s] into your bucket and any other,
[985.5s] as I said, there are some weapons down there.
[988.1s] Long swords, short swords, scimitar,
[990.0s] that sort of thing.
[991.2s] You could grab something else
[992.4s] but you can't with that roll lift the hammer.
[996.1s] Okay, I grab a couple daggers that are there
[1000.8s] and just put them in my bucket.
[1003.2s] So you grab those things,
[1005.0s] you take a quick peek at one of the paintings.
[1009.6s] Ian, what is the painting of?
[1011.9s] It's a pretty sick bachelor party.
[1014.0s] There's neon lights flashing all over the place.
[1017.2s] Honestly, staring at the painting,
[1018.2s] it kind of gives off a strobe effect.
[1019.5s] Like you yourself are about a,
[1021.9s] yeah, it feels like it's flashing at you
[1024.8s] and standing there amidst all these body parts.
[1029.8s] It's a feast of a bachelor party, mind you.
[1031.8s] It's a cannibal feast.
[1033.7s] There's the, what's the pirate captain's name?
[1037.4s] Captain Jacob.
[1038.5s] Captain Jacob standing on a mound of limbs
[1043.8s] drinking wine out of a skull chalice.
[1047.9s] I love it.
[1048.7s] I assumed stolen artwork but no,
[1050.4s] custom artwork that they have on the pirate ship.
[1054.0s] Good for them.
[1055.2s] Arts appreciators.
[1057.1s] Oh, I cannot unsee this.
[1058.7s] We cut back upstairs.
[1060.6s] Bonwyn, it appears that Cho-Gar and Bubble-Gar
[1064.2s] have nodded off.
[1066.0s] You see, I don't know which direction the sun,
[1069.3s] the sun is setting.
[1070.4s] You can tell the sun is setting now.
[1072.3s] Like they've just been partying all day.
[1074.4s] Real early partiers.
[1076.5s] So they could get to bed on time, obviously.
[1080.0s] Responsible.
[1080.8s] Responsible.
[1081.7s] I have work in the morning.
[1083.2s] That's right, yeah.
[1084.9s] Nobody else seems to be in the morning.
[1087.8s] Nobody else seems to be stirring.
[1090.1s] What are you and Kavlar in do?
[1092.1s] Kav, what do you wanna do?
[1093.0s] Should we wait till we see her or like, let's just undo?
[1095.6s] I mean, if we could get out but remain out of sight
[1100.8s] for, you know, like Alydin's gonna know
[1103.7s] that we're somewhere nearby, right?
[1106.2s] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1107.0s] She's really smart.
[1108.9s] So like so quietly, I'm gonna like undo.
[1111.9s] Somehow I'm picturing like a high school locker lock.
[1115.7s] But I like, you know, with the loop,
[1116.9s] so I like pull it off and open the door quietly.
[1120.0s] It's like that, but more like one in an escape room
[1122.6s] that kind of only works half of the time.
[1124.6s] Don't even get me started, Russ.
[1128.6s] Yeah, you pull that out and like slowly open it.
[1132.4s] You're able to open it like just wide enough
[1137.2s] that you'd be able to sneak out
[1138.6s] without bumping into Bubblegar and Cho'gar.
[1141.6s] Me and Kav are both larger, larger people.
[1144.9s] So let's roll stealth to exit this situation.
[1150.8s] 15.
[1152.2s] Okay.
[1153.0s] Also 15.
[1154.1s] Okay, so order doesn't really matter.
[1157.0s] The two of you slip out here.
[1160.1s] There's a little stir from Cho'gar
[1163.8s] as you kind of soft step.
[1166.5s] Which way are you going?
[1167.3s] Are you going towards Alydin
[1169.3s] or are you going towards like the gangplank back there?
[1172.0s] I guess correct me if I'm wrong.
[1173.6s] I somehow was picturing that she had to go
[1176.1s] to the opposite end to where we were to get downstairs.
[1179.9s] So probably back towards the gangplank in theory.
[1183.2s] Then she'll like come back and we won't be in the cage.
[1187.4s] Sounds good.
[1188.2s] Okay, so the two of you make it out.
[1189.6s] You step quietly over top,
[1192.2s] pausing as anybody kind of stirs
[1194.3s] and make your way back to the gangplank.
[1195.8s] As you see Alydin coming up the other side,
[1199.8s] you turn, you lock eyes.
[1201.8s] You see each other.
[1203.8s] Alydin, make a stealth roll please.
[1209.5s] Oh.
[1210.3s] Ha ha ha ha.
[1216.0s] Ooh.
[1216.9s] Yeah, you did.
[1217.7s] My bucket jangles.
[1219.0s] Your bucket full of daggers.
[1220.8s] Ha ha ha.
[1222.3s] And sandwiches.
[1223.6s] And sandwiches.
[1225.1s] Finger sandwiches.
[1226.7s] Ha ha ha.
[1228.0s] And with that jangling of the bucket
[1231.1s] and three pieces of gold that you have taken,
[1235.5s] there's movement among those who are passed out.
[1239.4s] Let's say Bubblegar, you wake up
[1244.4s] and Alydin and Kavlaran,
[1247.4s] you see that the captain begins to stir
[1250.1s] and catches eye of you and says,
[1252.2s] hey, hey, everybody get up.
[1254.0s] I want to run like only a 14 year old
[1257.4s] and run away from an adult.
[1259.3s] And I don't care who I step on.
[1260.8s] Yeah, I also am now running.
[1263.9s] Yeah.
[1264.8s] Two of you are running down the gangplank.
[1266.5s] Alydin, make a dexterity saving throw
[1269.2s] as the pirates are getting up
[1271.8s] and trying to grab at you as you're running by.
[1276.3s] God damn it.
[1278.5s] How about an eight?
[1280.6s] No.
[1281.4s] You make it past the first few
[1282.7s] who are just waking up.
[1284.6s] You make it over to the gangplank
[1286.1s] when your foot is caught by Chogar.
[1290.2s] Hey, just let go.
[1291.7s] Just let go.
[1292.7s] No, you're thinner.
[1293.9s] Please.
[1294.8s] The captain calls out,
[1295.6s] oh, hold that one tight.
[1297.0s] And he leaps off the side,
[1298.6s] grabs a rope and swings down.
[1300.6s] Oh, like a bad ass.
[1301.9s] Like a bad ass.
[1302.7s] Yeah.
[1303.6s] What's his role?
[1304.4s] Roll for him, Russ.
[1305.2s] I want to see how he looks.
[1306.1s] Yeah, roll for a bad ass.
[1308.5s] That's an 18 on the dot.
[1310.0s] God damn it.
[1310.8s] He looks amazing.
[1313.4s] Yeah, it's super impressive.
[1314.2s] He looks so bad ass.
[1315.0s] That's my captain.
[1315.9s] Ho, ho, ho, ho, you're in the middle now.
[1321.6s] Welcome to the middle, everybody.
[1324.0s] Thanks for being here.
[1325.4s] Hey there.
[1326.2s] Hey, thanks for being here.
[1327.7s] What's up?
[1328.5s] We love you.
[1329.7s] We do love you.
[1330.5s] We do love you.
[1331.4s] This is very true.
[1332.3s] Lots of love.
[1333.1s] We did a lot of hard prep going into this middle
[1335.2s] and Kyle's just hitting all the bullet points
[1337.0s] right out of the gate.
[1337.8s] Wow.
[1338.9s] I looked over the notes for the pre-middle meeting
[1342.2s] and I said, I'm going to get this one.
[1343.9s] Yeah.
[1344.7s] This is mine today.
[1345.9s] Not letting everybody else take this love.
[1348.0s] Kyle, you got so red all of a sudden.
[1350.2s] Is this the first time you've told an audience
[1352.8s] that you love them?
[1354.8s] It's just been a long time.
[1356.0s] Oh my gosh.
[1357.0s] You guys.
[1358.9s] Well, send Kyle sweet messages
[1361.5s] telling him that you love him too.
[1363.2s] So yeah, we just wanted to pop in here,
[1365.7s] tell you how awesome you are
[1367.0s] and that we're grateful that you're here.
[1369.3s] Like an episode.
[1370.8s] And that, yeah.
[1372.4s] You should go listen to-
[1373.2s] A little light cannibalism.
[1375.7s] Just a little taste, just a little something.
[1380.2s] Kyle wasn't here for this episode.
[1381.7s] So he's-
[1382.5s] He doesn't know what I'm talking about.
[1383.4s] Wait, they didn't tell me about the cannibalism.
[1385.2s] I'm so playing along right now.
[1387.0s] I'm glad I took the first bullet point
[1388.9s] and not the one I didn't know about.
[1390.6s] Not the cannibalism.
[1394.2s] Well, that wasn't us so much
[1395.6s] as our wonderful guests from Looters.
[1398.0s] You should go listen to them.
[1400.3s] Yes, yes.
[1401.8s] We, being Carla and I,
[1404.6s] guest starred over on Looters as well,
[1406.9s] which there, as this comes out,
[1409.4s] there's one episode, but there will be two,
[1412.2s] which you should go have a listen to.
[1414.2s] There's similar, similar character things
[1417.0s] that happen throughout there.
[1419.7s] And it's a lot of fun.
[1421.0s] So go listen to those two episodes.
[1422.9s] Start from the beginning.
[1424.6s] Enjoy it.
[1425.4s] It's a great time.
[1426.3s] Hey, if you're enjoying the adventure
[1427.6s] that we're doing right now,
[1428.7s] we would love for you to join us on Patreon,
[1431.4s] patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast,
[1433.2s] where when you are a patron,
[1435.0s] you get an episode dedicated to you
[1436.7s] like today's patron, Michael Jansky.
[1441.0s] Michael Jansky.
[1442.7s] We love you a lot.
[1444.0s] And I feel very sorry if you got picked last
[1447.9s] or called on last all the time
[1449.6s] because your last name ended in Y.
[1451.6s] Unfair?
[1453.0s] Start at the bottom.
[1454.5s] I was thinking, oh, I'm so jealous of a cool last name
[1458.3s] because I have an interesting one now,
[1460.0s] but I took it from my husband.
[1461.8s] Right.
[1462.6s] Because my name before was Johnson.
[1463.7s] It was like the most boring name that exists.
[1465.9s] So anyone who had any, like a Y, amazing.
[1469.6s] That is really cool.
[1470.6s] Incredible.
[1471.4s] As a teacher's perspective,
[1472.5s] I was just like, almost at the end of the list.
[1475.1s] Well, that's when the teacher does the reverse order
[1477.2s] every now and again.
[1478.2s] Yep, that's true.
[1479.1s] Awesome, right out.
[1479.9s] It's on the teacher.
[1480.7s] Yeah, yeah.
[1481.8s] Yeah, they're sitting, they think they get a nap,
[1483.5s] but no, they're back in.
[1484.7s] Yeah.
[1485.6s] You're assuming they actually answer.
[1488.9s] Ah, jokes, I just keep waiting for Carla.
[1493.9s] And then we love you, that's it.
[1494.7s] I just keep waiting for Carla to spring something on me
[1496.8s] like she said she was going to.
[1498.6s] I was gonna say, we can say mean things about Tom
[1501.3s] because he's not here,
[1502.8s] but then I couldn't follow through with it
[1505.2s] because what am I gonna say about Tom that's mean?
[1508.2s] I couldn't, right?
[1509.0s] Well, he didn't buy Justin a birthday party.
[1511.0s] No, he didn't buy his husband anything
[1513.6s] for his birthday, so that's some shopping behavior.
[1516.6s] A little retreat.
[1518.0s] Yeah, nope, nope.
[1518.8s] No, didn't do that.
[1519.7s] That would've been real thoughtful.
[1521.2s] Tom, no, Tom's lovely,
[1525.2s] and he's having a great day right now.
[1527.3s] Not with us, so that's, yeah.
[1529.4s] That's okay, I guess.
[1530.8s] We'll allow it.
[1531.6s] It'll be all right.
[1532.7s] Okay, that's the end of this rambling middle.
[1534.9s] We'll get you back to the episode.
[1537.2s] Love you, bye.
[1538.0s] Love you, bye.
[1538.8s] Love you, bye.
[1541.0s] When Cho-Gar doesn't let go of me,
[1542.8s] can I grab a dagger out of my bucket
[1544.7s] and just start stabbing him in a downward fashion?
[1546.6s] It's fair, it's fair.
[1547.6s] You can't, so before you stab Cho-Gar in his hand,
[1552.3s] so Captain Jacob swings off the side,
[1556.5s] his hair's growing back. Everyone is looking.
[1558.0s] He's got long hair. Me and Cap,
[1559.3s] I assume, have stopped just to watch.
[1561.4s] It's amazing. I'm dumbfounded by it.
[1563.1s] Captain!
[1566.2s] And lands down in front of you,
[1569.6s] Bonwyn and Kavlaran,
[1570.7s] as you were running along the side of the ship,
[1575.2s] and draws a sword, and he says, stop where you are.
[1577.6s] You're distracted up there, Cho-Gar,
[1579.4s] so you can give a shot to try and stab Cho-Gar's hand.
[1582.5s] Or neck.
[1583.4s] This will, I think, be the first time I've ever.
[1586.6s] Stab someone.
[1589.3s] Tried to stab a ghast.
[1590.6s] Oh, I know.
[1592.5s] Yeah.
[1593.4s] We feel honored.
[1594.2s] We are honored.
[1595.0s] We are honored.
[1595.9s] We are honored.
[1596.7s] Dumbgeons, just, this is really.
[1599.0s] It's a dream come true.
[1602.0s] It's a Dumbgeons first.
[1605.1s] All right, I'm gonna take a dagger out.
[1607.2s] You tried to stab Kyle when he first came along.
[1609.7s] True.
[1610.6s] Yeah, but that's cause he was like,
[1611.6s] explicitly a bad guy.
[1613.2s] Yeah.
[1614.0s] Well, yeah.
[1614.8s] I assume these boys, we would make be our friends somehow.
[1618.6s] We still can be, I don't know.
[1620.4s] Is he still the first chance?
[1623.1s] You guys, I'm too little for this.
[1626.0s] Eight.
[1627.3s] Eight against your AC.
[1628.8s] Against my AC.
[1629.7s] No, against their AC.
[1631.0s] No, which I'm sure that will not hit.
[1633.0s] I don't know how to play this game.
[1636.2s] You stabbed down.
[1637.1s] You don't stab yourself or anything,
[1638.3s] cause that would be ridiculous.
[1639.4s] Why would I make you do that?
[1640.4s] But like, they have very thick skin
[1643.6s] that's almost like leather hide.
[1645.3s] Like just kind of glints off.
[1646.1s] And I don't have much force behind it.
[1647.8s] Just kind of poking you.
[1649.5s] So yeah, you reaffirm your grip on Alydin.
[1653.0s] Down in front of you two is the captain.
[1656.0s] He says, look, look, look, look, look.
[1657.4s] Stop what you're doing.
[1659.1s] Stop what you're doing.
[1660.1s] We weren't gonna eat you.
[1661.8s] I promise.
[1663.8s] I mean, we weren't gonna eat you.
[1666.1s] I don't know what they were gonna do.
[1669.0s] We weren't?
[1670.6s] I thought that's kind of the impression we got
[1672.3s] that you said we were gonna eat them.
[1673.6s] Look, we scare people.
[1675.5s] We say that we're gonna eat them.
[1676.4s] I kind of signed up for the eating.
[1678.3s] We got all the artwork done.
[1680.2s] We spread the stories across.
[1681.6s] Ooh, cannibal pirates.
[1682.8s] That makes them really scary.
[1684.3s] But hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
[1686.9s] All right.
[1687.7s] Go ahead.
[1689.3s] I can't eat her.
[1690.1s] It's okay.
[1691.1s] Look, we don't mean you any harm.
[1695.2s] You can roll insight.
[1696.5s] I mean, I was locked in a cage, which is great.
[1702.0s] I don't want to roll for anything anymore.
[1703.4s] Oh my God.
[1704.3s] So I have a minus two on insight.
[1706.4s] So that is a six.
[1707.5s] I just trust everybody.
[1709.0s] Oh, I got a six.
[1710.0s] I mean, I just saw him do that move.
[1711.6s] I'm a little bit in awe of the captain
[1714.8s] even though he's a bad guy.
[1717.8s] What did the captain?
[1718.6s] Oh, it was worse than a six.
[1720.7s] Oh, wow.
[1721.5s] Okay, so.
[1722.4s] Wow.
[1723.2s] We all are in love with the captain.
[1725.3s] Yeah.
[1726.1s] You all are in love with the captain.
[1727.0s] You don't have to be in love with him,
[1728.0s] but you get a six.
[1728.9s] He's mad at us as fuck.
[1729.7s] You give him at least a moment.
[1730.9s] And he says, look, look, look, look, look.
[1732.5s] We're not going to harm you.
[1733.6s] We've actually been in hiding here.
[1735.7s] Have you heard of like a ship
[1737.6s] roaming around the lake for very long?
[1741.3s] Well, no.
[1742.2s] You might need to be a little more specific.
[1744.7s] We've been tucked away here.
[1746.1s] Your mayor and his army goons
[1749.0s] have driven off the pirates
[1750.5s] and we can't even make a decent living anymore.
[1752.9s] Like I thought maybe if we got some new recruits
[1755.3s] that we could get out
[1756.2s] and take on his little fake pirates
[1758.2s] that he's got going on out there.
[1762.4s] Sheath's sword is like, look, friendship.
[1766.6s] Wait, did you say fake pirates?
[1767.9s] Fake pirates.
[1768.8s] Let down, let down the girl.
[1770.3s] Let down the girl.
[1771.6s] Let down the girl.
[1773.9s] We'll find you something else to eat later.
[1775.6s] The finger sandwiches at the retirement community.
[1778.5s] We can take the canoe over.
[1780.2s] We're unassuming we can get some fingers.
[1782.0s] But they're not real finger sandwiches though.
[1785.0s] There's not a finger involved.
[1786.5s] Kick, kick and run, kick and run to Bonwyn.
[1791.2s] Yeah, they let you run down to Bonwyn and Kavlaran.
[1795.8s] You notice that Alydin has everything
[1797.9s] except for your hammer there, Kav.
[1800.5s] Sorry, yes, you had a question.
[1802.1s] Fake pirates, could you expand on that
[1806.4s] because the river pirates are pretty famous in Vindersmith.
[1809.7s] Yeah, yeah, the river, river pirates
[1811.1s] have been around for a long time.
[1812.6s] And I've, you know, long,
[1814.9s] eighth generation of pirateeer myself, you know.
[1819.8s] The pirates themselves were driven out
[1824.0s] some 20 years ago.
[1826.0s] They started bringing in military more and more
[1829.6s] to take the pair of the pirates.
[1831.8s] You know, we haven't been stealing anything
[1833.3s] for quite some time.
[1834.2s] We go out in small boats.
[1836.8s] We get our supplies.
[1837.6s] We come back.
[1838.5s] We bring new recruits who come and usually bring sandwiches.
[1841.8s] You hear Tauber up and he says,
[1843.3s] oh, that's what this says at the bottom here.
[1845.2s] Bring, bring food.
[1848.0s] Sorry.
[1848.9s] Well, we still have those finger sandwiches
[1850.4s] in the bucket though, right?
[1852.3s] I mean, we could.
[1853.3s] That's not your bucket.
[1856.2s] I'm clutching my bucket.
[1857.1s] The sandwiches were for everyone.
[1859.6s] They're communal sandwiches.
[1861.1s] Well, you should have thought about that
[1863.4s] before you were being a jerk.
[1866.9s] I wanted to swim with you.
[1868.2s] I can't believe you're saying this.
[1869.9s] You were gonna eat me.
[1870.9s] I can't believe you're saying this.
[1872.0s] I would have swam with you before I ate you.
[1874.0s] It would have been fine.
[1876.0s] No, it wouldn't have been fine
[1877.0s] because it was gonna end up with me being eaten.
[1878.6s] Do you have to wait 30 minutes
[1879.9s] if you swim before you eat someone?
[1882.1s] Exactly.
[1882.9s] No, that's why we do the swimming beforehand
[1884.1s] so I don't get a stomach cramp.
[1885.2s] I have a very stomach cramp.
[1886.0s] Okay, it's not like a palindrome situation
[1888.2s] where it's the same one way as the other?
[1890.0s] No, no, it's, yeah, no.
[1891.6s] Gotcha.
[1892.4s] It's a very weak constitution.
[1893.7s] Let me tell you, I get sick super easy.
[1895.7s] It's terrible.
[1896.6s] It doesn't help with what Chogar's diet is.
[1898.4s] I mean, Jesus, that guy eats some pretty nasty things,
[1901.8s] let me just say.
[1902.7s] They didn't call it Sheitz Creek for nothing.
[1906.8s] So all I'm saying is the pirates
[1910.2s] have been drawn out long ago
[1912.4s] and your ruler over there, Nigel Knops, is that his name?
[1920.2s] Yeah, Nigel Knops.
[1921.4s] Yeah.
[1923.2s] Not my mayor, actually.
[1927.0s] He's my mayor though.
[1928.3s] Seems like nobody vote.
[1929.6s] Oh.
[1930.4s] He would be.
[1931.2s] Yeah, he would be.
[1932.1s] All right, so it seems like nobody voted for this mayor
[1933.8s] but he's still here somehow.
[1935.8s] Anyways.
[1936.6s] I voted for him.
[1938.4s] You voted for him.
[1939.4s] All right, Chogar, stop voting for people.
[1941.7s] I know you only get half a vote back in Sheitz Creek
[1944.1s] but that counts for like 18 votes here in Vintersmouth.
[1946.9s] Oh, electoral college system going on over here too?
[1949.6s] Oh yeah, it's not great.
[1953.0s] Yeah, it's not an even split anywhere, huh, yeah.
[1956.6s] Anyways, they've been bringing in more military.
[1959.0s] You know what's not good for business in the military
[1961.8s] and just security work is not having pirates
[1966.4s] so they put different undercover military as pirates
[1971.0s] to make it seem like there's pirates on the water
[1973.6s] and steal things and take things.
[1975.7s] They don't even do a very good job of it.
[1978.0s] You guys seem tired.
[1979.4s] Maybe you should just like retire.
[1982.4s] There's no more business.
[1983.6s] You've been driven out of business by the fake pirates.
[1986.5s] There's a great old people's community right there.
[1989.8s] Cesar's Gardens, have you heard of it?
[1992.0s] It's really nice.
[1993.1s] I have heard of Cesar's Gardens.
[1994.6s] We pulled in there a couple times, yeah.
[1998.2s] But we want to get back to pirating.
[1999.9s] We want to be the best pirates
[2003.0s] without the fear of the military coming after us.
[2005.7s] I mean, some military here and there is fine
[2008.0s] but not in the droves that they were coming at us with.
[2011.4s] That's why I brought Cho-Gar and Bubble-Gar here
[2013.5s] and Topper.
[2014.4s] Topper said they were some of the best pirates
[2016.5s] in Sheitz Creek.
[2018.0s] We're good pirates.
[2019.5s] Real good.
[2020.3s] So you want us to just canoe away
[2021.9s] and leave you to pirate?
[2023.9s] No, what I'm saying is there's a serious imbAlydince
[2029.8s] within your whole establishment.
[2032.4s] There's gotta be some give and take.
[2034.3s] It can't all be good.
[2035.4s] And he's creating a problem
[2038.0s] where there is currently not a problem.
[2040.8s] That sounds like the mayor.
[2042.3s] Yeah, I agree that that's...
[2044.6s] Well, what I'm saying is
[2046.8s] I can't just pull this ship out here.
[2049.0s] So maybe, maybe if we let you go,
[2053.4s] you can help us move on from this place.
[2057.4s] We can go back to being river pirates.
[2061.0s] The stories you've heard of cannibals, not true.
[2065.5s] We come, we take.
[2066.9s] They're not?
[2068.8s] I'm sorry.
[2069.8s] I'm sorry.
[2071.4s] This is supposed to be the coolest
[2072.8s] cannibal pirating band.
[2074.3s] Look, we're still cool.
[2075.8s] We're still cool.
[2076.6s] See, we had the big party.
[2077.4s] This was like false advertising.
[2078.9s] But the party was sweet.
[2079.9s] The party was sick.
[2080.8s] That was a good rage.
[2081.7s] Party was sick.
[2082.6s] And then that jump I made right off the end there,
[2084.6s] that was pretty awesome.
[2085.7s] Yeah, that was really cool.
[2088.0s] So what I'm saying is we have some force.
[2090.3s] We've got some more recruits coming
[2091.9s] in the next little while.
[2093.1s] Maybe we could help you.
[2095.6s] You know, it sounds like you've got some issues
[2097.6s] with the electoral system, too.
[2099.9s] Maybe we could help you take down some of the forces
[2104.4s] and just like get a new leader in place.
[2109.4s] Can we have a minute to talk?
[2112.3s] Oh, of course, of course, of course.
[2113.7s] I mean, back towards the end of the cave, right?
[2117.4s] Not near the mouth.
[2118.6s] We're just gonna, Chogar, Bubblegar,
[2121.4s] you just come down here, stand with me
[2123.0s] at the mouth of the cave.
[2124.7s] That way they can't run past us, okay?
[2126.5s] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[2127.9s] Great, great, great.
[2128.8s] So how you guys been?
[2129.6s] Is it kind of drift off?
[2132.5s] Listen, I don't have a whole lot of life experience
[2134.8s] like you guys do,
[2135.6s] but it kind of doesn't seem like a great idea
[2138.1s] to get a bad pirate guy
[2141.9s] to help you with your government problem.
[2146.2s] I think that's really very astute of you, Alydin.
[2149.3s] I agree. Why is it beyond your years?
[2151.3s] I think we don't want to replace the corrupt mayor
[2156.0s] with explicitly pirates,
[2158.3s] seems like maybe not an upgrade.
[2161.4s] There's gotta be like, you know,
[2164.4s] kind of like a happy middle to get to.
[2167.3s] Like maybe if Bench could be the mayor,
[2170.8s] that'd be real cool.
[2171.6s] I mean, he has talked about it before.
[2173.4s] Wow, okay.
[2175.4s] Well, that's something to think about for the future.
[2177.4s] Right now, what are we gonna do?
[2181.2s] Lie.
[2182.3s] Okay.
[2183.8s] I love it.
[2185.0s] Simple, easy.
[2186.9s] We won't die, hopefully.
[2189.3s] Okay.
[2190.4s] Alydin, great plan.
[2192.0s] We turn around.
[2192.8s] You come into the conversation,
[2194.2s] so the smell is just like,
[2195.7s] that's what causes the two head thing?
[2197.8s] Or so we've been told.
[2201.5s] It's like a curse on the whole area.
[2203.3s] Yeah.
[2204.1s] We'll do it.
[2205.4s] Fair enough.
[2206.2s] You'll do it.
[2207.1s] You'll do what, sorry.
[2208.0s] Well, I mean, you let us go
[2209.9s] and we will.
[2213.9s] What do you want?
[2214.7s] Sow the seeds of dissent.
[2215.6s] Stage a coup
[2217.4s] so that you can draw distraction,
[2219.8s] pull some sort of military force away from the city
[2223.1s] so that we can leave this little island
[2225.6s] because it's getting a little cramped,
[2227.2s] a little smelly in this cave.
[2228.4s] I don't know if you noticed.
[2229.3s] Sorry about that.
[2230.4s] It's Choda.
[2231.2s] I like to run a cleaner.
[2232.3s] How could you?
[2234.2s] I have noticed.
[2235.0s] I bathe three times a day.
[2237.0s] You lie.
[2238.8s] Three times a day?
[2242.6s] Wow.
[2244.0s] So you cause distraction.
[2247.0s] We pull out
[2248.8s] and we take down some of the barracks
[2251.8s] that's over there.
[2252.7s] We've done a little recon.
[2254.0s] There's some barracks action over there.
[2256.3s] Drive some of the military away.
[2257.6s] We get away and then, you know,
[2261.5s] everything's in turmoil.
[2263.4s] They're screaming in the streets
[2265.2s] because they don't know what's going on.
[2267.1s] The government's gonna fall
[2268.4s] and then somebody will step up
[2270.1s] and take claim as their rightful place
[2273.8s] as mayor of Vintersmouth.
[2275.3s] Sounds like a reasonable assumption.
[2278.0s] Yeah, that all sounds great.
[2279.2s] That sounds like a super great plan
[2281.3s] for the city where we all live.
[2283.0s] Okay, great.
[2285.1s] So we're just gonna go then.
[2287.1s] We'll just.
[2288.0s] Did you leave our boat there though?
[2291.0s] Oh, the lovely canoe.
[2293.1s] Yes, yes.
[2294.2s] We did pull it up
[2295.1s] so it didn't drift away, you know,
[2296.4s] just in case we needed to use it later.
[2298.7s] But yeah, absolutely.
[2299.7s] It's just down there.
[2301.5s] And I've got your word on this, yes?
[2303.9s] Absolutely.
[2304.8s] Absolutely.
[2305.8s] All right, roll a joint deception check, please.
[2308.6s] I can vouch for them too.
[2310.0s] They wouldn't lie.
[2310.8s] They're, you know.
[2312.6s] With advantage.
[2313.4s] 19, with advantage.
[2315.4s] With advantage?
[2316.2s] Oh, all right.
[2317.4s] Oh, not 19 or something. For 17.
[2319.4s] 17 plus zero, 16.
[2322.9s] Hey, we like it.
[2325.2s] Captain has rolled an insight of 10.
[2327.3s] Okay.
[2328.2s] So you all destroyed that.
[2332.3s] All right, we can trust them, right?
[2334.6s] Yeah, yeah.
[2335.4s] Absolutely.
[2336.2s] They gave us sandwiches.
[2338.3s] They've been nothing but cordial the whole time.
[2340.4s] Perfect.
[2341.2s] Did you see the canoe, the craftsmanship on that?
[2342.8s] Like that's, yeah, that's.
[2344.8s] Yeah, they're giving us the VIP treatment,
[2346.6s] one might say.
[2347.4s] Excellent, all right.
[2348.4s] Well, we will.
[2349.6s] So here's the plan.
[2351.2s] We'll stay in line and wait for your signal.
[2353.8s] At your signal.
[2355.2s] We will put our plan into action.
[2358.0s] Hopefully our new recruits,
[2359.1s] our other new recruits show up in the time.
[2361.1s] So we've got it back up to a full crew.
[2363.4s] I just need a few more.
[2365.7s] And then, you know, we'll be on our way.
[2368.7s] We'll be back out on the water,
[2370.2s] back doing our pirate thing, back, you know,
[2374.0s] giving, nope, there shouldn't even be military pirates.
[2377.4s] That just seems weird.
[2378.8s] Well, I think, yeah,
[2379.8s] that's something that is probably a problem.
[2383.2s] Like pretend pirates.
[2384.5s] Yeah, yeah.
[2385.9s] Anyways, that's all I'm saying is there's corruption.
[2388.4s] And I just didn't know if you knew
[2390.0s] that there was corruption within your government,
[2392.0s] you know, not everybody knows that sort of thing.
[2394.0s] I mean, I had a pretty good idea.
[2396.3s] Oh, you did.
[2397.2s] You did.
[2398.0s] What was the tip off for you?
[2399.8s] Well, just all the opulent spending and high taxes.
[2403.6s] Right?
[2404.4s] Like where are they even getting all of that?
[2407.7s] The amount of gold.
[2408.9s] Like only a pirate would have that much gold.
[2413.0s] All right.
[2413.9s] We trust you implicitly, right?
[2416.7s] He looks back at Cho-Gar and Bubble-Gar.
[2418.2s] We trust them implicit.
[2419.6s] Implicitly.
[2421.1s] Implicitably.
[2422.7s] That's right.
[2423.8s] So we're gonna let you go.
[2426.2s] Is there anything that we can give you
[2429.3s] to help you with your part of the plan?
[2432.0s] Well, my friend Calf has this really nice hammer.
[2437.9s] Oh, yeah.
[2438.7s] It's like just right over there.
[2441.0s] Like that you took from him?
[2442.9s] I couldn't get that.
[2443.7s] I'm so sorry.
[2445.0s] Could we have that?
[2445.8s] Yeah, I know.
[2446.7s] We could give you your stuff back.
[2447.8s] Yeah.
[2448.7s] You need anything else?
[2449.5s] You need money?
[2450.4s] You need weapons?
[2451.2s] You need, I don't know.
[2452.0s] What kind of arms you got following behind you?
[2454.6s] Like we could outfit your entire establishment
[2457.7s] right here, right now.
[2458.9s] There's really great paintings back there too.
[2461.0s] I don't know.
[2461.8s] There's one of the captain right here.
[2462.8s] Let me tell you.
[2463.7s] It'll inspire you.
[2464.5s] They're very scary.
[2465.8s] You could put paintings up all over town
[2468.7s] and it's just like hints and signs
[2470.9s] that the pirates are trying to make their way back in.
[2473.2s] I like that.
[2474.1s] And then they'll be like, yeah.
[2475.2s] Maybe some money to bribe people.
[2477.1s] Oh.
[2478.0s] Uh-huh.
[2478.8s] Money tucks.
[2479.8s] Okay, okay.
[2480.8s] Money, paintings.
[2481.9s] I haven't had underwear in 12 years.
[2485.8s] You're 14.
[2487.4s] Since you were two.
[2488.4s] It's been a while.
[2489.5s] Same pair.
[2490.3s] No pair.
[2491.1s] Damn.
[2492.0s] Just going commando.
[2493.0s] Wow, wow.
[2493.8s] It's breezy.
[2495.5s] Well, let me see what we can find.
[2497.5s] We probably have some underwear that we can provide.
[2499.8s] Yeah, I mean, you, uh, uh, uh, uh, a tober.
[2504.6s] You just give them your underwear.
[2506.5s] Tober.
[2507.4s] Yeah.
[2510.2s] Excuse me, you want me to get,
[2512.0s] do you want my underwear?
[2513.1s] I do not want his underwear.
[2515.1s] Uh, he doesn't want my underwear.
[2517.6s] All right, well, we'll find you some underwear.
[2521.2s] They send some guys down
[2522.7s] and they come back with crates full as a, um.
[2526.3s] Of underwear.
[2527.1s] Of underwear specifically.
[2528.9s] Crates full of underwear.
[2530.3s] You have underwear for a lifetime if you wanted it.
[2533.8s] But also the, they bring back paintings.
[2536.2s] You've got this huge pile of stuff
[2537.9s] that they put on this raft
[2539.4s] and then they tie to the end of your canoe.
[2543.6s] Is there gold in there?
[2545.2s] Yeah, there's some gold in there.
[2546.4s] Yeah, yeah.
[2547.2s] For the bribery.
[2548.4s] Of course, for the bribery.
[2549.8s] Greased fingers.
[2550.7s] Well, you know, we're a little bit late.
[2551.8s] We haven't done a lot of, uh.
[2553.2s] Well, you've been out of work.
[2554.6s] We're trying to get back into the game.
[2556.8s] There's probably 75 gold in there.
[2559.0s] That should get you pretty far, I would think.
[2562.0s] You know, we need some.
[2563.2s] We gotta make our trip into town,
[2564.6s] get some food here in a little while.
[2566.0s] So, maybe I'll see you around
[2568.8s] before, you know, before the old signal goes.
[2571.5s] How many days do you think this is gonna take?
[2573.2s] Like, are we talking, like,
[2576.0s] what are you doing tomorrow?
[2576.8s] Oh, I don't think we'll be ready by tomorrow.
[2578.4s] If we're doing a whole, like,
[2579.4s] Psy-op with the paintings and the rumors
[2582.5s] and the bribery.
[2583.3s] Yeah, right, right.
[2584.2s] I think we're looking at, um.
[2585.0s] Oh, you gotta let it sit.
[2587.0s] A while.
[2588.0s] Yeah, that's like a set the stage
[2589.7s] and see how it plays out sort of thing.
[2591.8s] Yeah, we're gonna play the long game.
[2593.2s] And we can make sure at the end of it,
[2595.0s] they all know it was orchestrated by you.
[2598.2s] Me, Captain Jack and Cho-gar Bubblegar.
[2601.8s] I thought you were Captain Jacob.
[2603.4s] I wanna make sure we're clear about that.
[2605.2s] Captain Jake, Captain Jacob and Cho-gar Bubblegar.
[2608.2s] Just if we're gonna start a rumor, I wanna.
[2610.2s] Yeah, no, we gotta make sure.
[2611.5s] Make sure it's the right name.
[2613.3s] You know, it's like what people close to it.
[2614.2s] It's a short name, pseudonym, yeah.
[2616.9s] Captain Jacob, that's me, that's me.
[2619.5s] All right, well, this is sounding like a great plan.
[2621.3s] I trust you all like you're my children.
[2624.1s] As you should.
[2625.2s] Thank you.
[2626.1s] So you've got everything you need.
[2628.2s] You know where to find us if anything goes awry.
[2630.8s] Like send message back, okay?
[2633.7s] You know what?
[2634.5s] Strategically, you'll be,
[2636.6s] if we don't hear from you,
[2638.1s] some of our people up here,
[2640.8s] you'll be reached out to
[2642.0s] just to see how the plan is coming along.
[2645.2s] Okay, great.
[2647.3s] We'll keep it incognito real down low.
[2649.8s] Nobody's gonna know that there's pirates among them.
[2652.9s] We've been here the whole time.
[2655.6s] Okay, great.
[2656.5s] I mean, it's getting dark,
[2657.3s] so we should probably just paddle on off home, you know?
[2662.0s] Okay.
[2662.8s] Hey, are there any monsters in this lake?
[2664.7s] Oh yeah, just a couple.
[2667.2s] Do it.
[2668.8s] Yeah, they're big ones too.
[2670.0s] You probably wanna get back before it's dark
[2671.7s] cause that's when they really come out.
[2673.4s] Great, great, great.
[2674.3s] Oh my God, I'm gonna tell the others.
[2678.4s] Captain Jacob goes back up the gangplank,
[2681.3s] leaving you with Chogar and Bubblegar here
[2684.1s] to help you get back into the water.
[2687.2s] Oh yeah, do you think if we get in,
[2688.5s] could you just push us,
[2690.0s] just push us off like you did last time?
[2693.2s] Yeah, do you want us to come with you maybe?
[2696.0s] I mean, we thought this was gonna be
[2697.8s] a whole cannibal thing,
[2698.8s] but it's not a cannibal thing.
[2700.2s] So I'm a little disappointed.
[2702.5s] Let me just say,
[2703.8s] to be perfectly clear,
[2705.2s] not what we signed up for.
[2707.0s] Color me disappointed as well.
[2708.6s] Yeah.
[2709.8s] And you guys are gonna be coming across
[2712.2s] bodies and stuff like that.
[2713.4s] We could just be in the background.
[2715.2s] We don't have to interfere with you guys all that much
[2716.9s] and then we just come in and grab a little snack.
[2718.7s] Clean up crew.
[2721.0s] I'm gonna be honest,
[2721.8s] I don't come across a lot of bodies.
[2724.0s] I don't know if-
[2724.8s] Yeah, no, not in my day-to-day.
[2726.4s] Yeah.
[2727.2s] Not in your day-to-day.
[2728.3s] We're gonna change it from the inside, you know?
[2732.0s] Like, you know.
[2734.9s] I mean, you could ride back with us
[2736.4s] and then just keep heading south on the River River
[2739.2s] and see if you find, like,
[2740.5s] kind of the more cannibal vibe you're looking for
[2742.6s] on a different ship.
[2744.0s] Up to you, but-
[2746.1s] I will say this captain's not about the cannibal stuff.
[2749.3s] No.
[2750.1s] I was kind of here for the cannibal stuff.
[2752.2s] Yeah.
[2753.4s] Did the letter say cannibal stuff?
[2757.2s] Look at this gorgeous painting right here.
[2759.6s] I mean, this is the legend, the mythos around them.
[2762.8s] And it's just, I think we should maybe give them a shot.
[2766.5s] We'll see what this captain, Captain Jack Spare,
[2770.1s] or Captain Jacob has going for him.
[2774.0s] Yeah, buddy, don't give up on him yet.
[2776.3s] Yeah. Okay.
[2777.2s] We'll get to eat somebody someday.
[2778.2s] I'll tell you what.
[2779.4s] And then we'll go swimming, huh?
[2781.8s] That's right.
[2783.4s] I hope that for you.
[2786.6s] And you.
[2787.9s] And as you push the canoe out into the water,
[2793.3s] you're a little weighed down now with this raft of
[2797.2s] a whole lot of stuff behind you.
[2799.8s] Guys, we walked here.
[2801.1s] You begin paddling back to Cesserus Gardens
[2806.0s] as Cho'gar and Bubblegar are waving at you
[2809.3s] and getting smaller and smaller in the distance.
[2812.2s] So we're definitely gonna have to report this, right?
[2815.5s] Well.
[2816.8s] Just keep smiling and waving as we go, though.
[2819.6s] Okay.
[2820.4s] See you guys.
[2821.2s] Bye.
[2822.1s] Bye, new friends.
[2822.9s] I never want to see them again.
[2823.8s] Bye-bye.
[2824.6s] See you soon.
[2825.7s] That sound echoes over the water.
[2827.7s] And as you get about halfway and you see
[2830.1s] Cesserus Gardens off into the distance,
[2832.6s] we see just a quick movement in the water behind you.
[2836.9s] Oh, fuck.
[2839.2s] Last episode, we just got eaten by a sea monster.
[2842.0s] Yep.
[2842.8s] Dumbgeons and Dragons, season three, episode 19,
[2852.6s] starring Amy More as Alydin,
[2854.7s] Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane,
[2857.2s] Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave,
[2859.6s] Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard,
[2862.5s] with special guests from Looters.
[2864.4s] It's a sci-fi Western TTRPG actual play podcast
[2867.9s] using the Stars Without Numbers gaming system.
[2870.2s] That's Ian Overton as Bubblegar
[2872.3s] and Matthew Aberly as Cho-Gar
[2874.4s] and Russ More as your dungeon master.
[2876.7s] Dialogue editing by Carla Maxted
[2878.7s] and sound design by Russ More.
[2880.8s] This episode featured music
[2882.0s] from Epidemic Sound and Slipstream
[2884.5s] and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,
[2886.6s] Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
[2889.0s] Our amazing cover art and character designs
[2891.4s] are by Matt Garbutt.
[2892.5s] And a huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[2894.8s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak, Cat Waterflame,
[2897.9s] Jacob Madden, Christian Brown,
[2899.8s] Anger on Kiersen, Perry Matey,
[2901.9s] Craig Zeiss, Old School Gamer D,
[2904.5s] L.A. Branton, Nathaniel Teeter, and Aaron.
[2907.4s] If you enjoy the adventure that you're listening to,
[2909.8s] we have more over on Patreon.
[2911.9s] Patreon.com slash dumbdraggingcast
[2913.8s] where you can listen to,
[2915.2s] I think it's five seasons now of The Adventures Of.
[2918.6s] That's a game that Tom runs
[2919.9s] and we have a lot of fun playing it.
[2921.7s] We're gonna be starting a new season very soon
[2923.8s] and it's going to include Kyle
[2925.4s] who wasn't in it previously.
[2928.2s] It's very exciting.
[2929.2s] And also we have a cyberpunk red campaign
[2931.9s] that we'll be releasing episodes monthly on Patreon
[2935.0s] before we figure out what we're gonna do
[2936.5s] with it somewhere else.
[2937.4s] So everybody's very excited about it.
[2939.2s] We're excited about it and we want you to join us.
[2941.1s] Seven day free trial when you sign up today
[2943.4s] and well, we hope to see you over there.
[2945.8s] Okay, that's it for me.
[2947.1s] You have a great week.
[2948.2s] I'll talk to you soon.
[2949.1s] Bye now.
[2951.3s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.
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