In one moment, Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin.
It's the sound of pebbles being tossed across the cage in the middle of this goblin cavern.
Tally looks ashamed on one side and, Alydin, you're tossing them towards your bucket,
looking a little disconcerted about the state of it right now.
I'm very, very sorry.
You know, it's okay. When you gotta go, you gotta go.
Yeah, thanks for your understanding.
Yeah.
Tally looks up and around and behind you, Alydin, you hear just the sound of a pebble
or a rock kind of hit behind you and then roll towards you.
What?
You turn around and you see, poking their head out from behind a structure,
not too far away from where you are, is a young-looking goblin.
They're looking at you wide-eyed, like you just caught them.
I give like a little hi, like a little wave.
They quickly reach down and grab another pebble,
toss it to you and give a quick wave and then duck back behind the structure.
I pick up the pebble that they had tossed to me and I put it in my pocket.
I don't have my bucket, do I?
Well, it's on the other side of the cage where Tally had just used...
Oh, that was the bucket?
Yeah.
Oh, I thought he said your bucket.
I had just assumed that the goblins were gracious hosts and gave us a place to shit.
No, it was definitely your bucket.
You put that pocket in your bucket, which is good.
So she peed next to my bucket?
Yeah.
Oh no, my bucket's in a puddle of pee.
Yeah, that's where we'll leave it.
Oh.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast,
and I'm your dungeon master Russ More, he, him.
Also with me today is Amy More as Alydin, she, her.
And if you hadn't been like acting so stupid and stuff,
I would not have been able to squeeze out of those bars.
Carla Maxstead as Bonwyn Everbane, she, her.
Maybe just popping through that hole.
Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, he, him.
What the hell?
Where did that come from?
Kyle Klasset as Bizard the Wizard, he, him.
Heads up, they're retreating from me.
With special guest Joe Fisher from Midnight Burger as Rin Kip Celador, he, him.
Like I said, they're not going to expect us to come through this way.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon-supported podcast,
and we want you to come join us.
Get a seven-day free trial.
Come check it out and see what it's all about.
And now, fuck it, let's play.
Bonwyn, give me a stealth.
I think is probably the best way to sneak through this hole.
Give me a roll for suck it in.
That is a 23.
Wow, cool.
Oh, hey, shit.
As if Bizarre had prepped the grease spell,
you managed to slip quickly through this and everybody behind you
gives them a false sense of confidence.
I think, seeing how easy this is.
Made it look so easy.
And I'm quite round, so it's a bit confusing.
False sense of confidence is where I live.
So the other two roll at disadvantage.
So yeah, that was actually what I was thinking,
is the next people, because they see how easy it looks for Bonwyn.
Bonwyn, you sneak in.
There's a little platform on the other side,
a little landing rather than a platform.
You get down on, you quickly do a little look around
to make sure there's nobody immediately around you.
All signs point to clear as you are able to determine.
You give Rin Kip, who's following you.
Rin Kip, you're going to roll stealth at disadvantage, please.
Because he thinks it's going to be easy.
Here we go.
We've all seen someone do something and then go, I could do that.
12 and a 19, I've got a 12.
Oh, a 22.
Oh, OK.
So not bad.
So little noises you're coming through,
but you do manage to get through pretty OK.
A little clanging of your armor, a couple of the axes.
Did you distribute all the axes or you still have two?
I have the great axe.
The great axe.
And then you hand it over.
And then I've distributed the other axes, yes.
Got it.
So yeah, just a little clanging of the armor
as you land down on the other side.
And Kavlaran, also with disadvantage, please.
OK, first one was 13.
Second is a 9.
Stealth is a plus 1, so a 10.
10.
OK, so we're getting progressively louder
the more people goes on here.
So Ring Kip gets through, lands on the other side.
Bon, when you're looking around,
doesn't seem that you've roused any suspicions.
And Kavlaran, you come through, but not gracefully.
Oh, yeah, no, I was not expecting to.
Yeah, no, you come through,
you realize that you are much taller than the two previous.
You have a harder time getting your legs through
and you end up coming down kind of on your side and back
as opposed to landing on your feet.
So it was a little bit of a thud as you come through.
Back.
Yeah.
Once I made it.
Nailed it.
Once Kav gets through, that's when I start going,
oh, I'm so lost in these caves.
I have no idea where I'm going.
Oh, I dropped my sword.
Clitter clatter, cling clang clang.
Oh, I got to pick it up.
There's a bunch of stuff I don't understand.
And just kind of ramble on like, you know.
Sure, sure.
Hold on.
They went through a hole, right?
And they landed on like a little ledge.
And then now you're making a ruckus at the hole.
No, behind in the cavern.
Behind, OK, so I was like,
isn't everyone just going to look over and be like,
the fuck are these three people?
Bizarre day.
I'm back.
I'm cupping my hand up towards the hole in the ceiling.
Oh, yes.
No, this was the part of the plan that made sense.
Yeah, yeah, this is the part that was a good plan.
Where we went after that was just.
Yeah, yeah.
I just want to say though, we went through the hole,
they did not hear us.
OK, so.
Absolutely.
Nailed it.
Well, yeah, absolutely.
That's what I say when we get through the hole,
I'm like, see, like I said, they're not going to expect us
to come through this way.
Yeah.
So good job.
We cut down to Alydin.
The two of you are sitting there in silent shame.
One of us is shamed.
Yeah, I mean, both of you have a sense of shame
and you hear a voice off in the distance
echoing through the chamber.
Oh, no, I don't know what I'm doing.
I saw a cloud in here.
Oh my god.
Perfect.
Nailed it.
That's what you hear.
Exactly that.
Oh, what was that?
I don't know.
Sounded like an adult voice,
but why would an adult make a lot of noise?
So we can get out of here.
Should we try and move the move again
with the cage on top of us?
The cage, god damn it.
They leave, y'all can't find them all of a sudden.
No.
Follow that cage.
This rickety-built cage,
how close together are those bars?
Oh, not very.
There's a lot of space.
Yeah.
Follow me, Tally.
Okay.
And I squeeze through the bars.
Y'all could have fit through the bars the whole time.
Yeah.
We're children, god damn it.
We just went through a hole.
I don't think we should be tested.
There's no judgment here.
People with glass houses, Joe.
Come on.
I mean, we got through the hole.
Because we knew it.
Just in a space.
Never mind.
Everybody's doing a great job.
No, here's the thing.
There's two guards on me, right?
There's two guards.
You were moving the cage, though.
I mean, why not move just your body?
That was just a bit.
But now that-
It was a good one.
It was great.
That was for their benefit.
You know?
Like those goblins are going to have a story now
at the time they caught those two kids.
That's true.
I love a good story.
Created like a little, yeah.
So I assume that their attention is diverted.
Yeah, so you hear that call.
It's echoing through.
It's continuing.
This person is increasingly making more noise and getting-
More confused.
More confused as they are declaring to the room.
What is a sword?
Am I alone?
I don't even know what a sword is.
I just dropped it.
Oh my god.
You see the two guards look to each other,
then look at you.
You see a bit of-
We shrug.
You see movement among other goblins.
They're grabbing spears.
They're grabbing shields, little pot lids,
more than anything.
And they are rushing off,
not straight towards where the sound is coming from.
They're rushing off into a different cavern.
But there's a lot of them that have now moved
and are going that way.
One of the guards who's on you is going to follow them.
One of them stays back and is watching you and the cage.
I was going to say we should sneak through the bars,
but we're making some awkward eye contact right now.
Yeah, maybe we sing the song.
They moved away from the song again.
Oh yeah.
I see that one about the box.
Uh, the one about the box.
Yeah, that's on the left side.
To the left, to the left,
everything I own in the box to the left,
in the pocket, in the bathroom,
something that I don't know about.
I'm just a kid and I don't know what this song means.
I've never had a relationship
that's lasted more than a week.
Go into some black prey.
Hello, darkness, my old friend.
Got some learning to do.
Okay, this is a master class in avoiding copyright laws.
Yeah, right.
I say sing this song, completely different song.
Nailing it.
Let's see what the goblin does.
The goblin is noticeably upset about it.
He sees all of it, or they see all of their friends rushing around, mobilizing.
They take a few steps away and they're looking at you.
They're fairly confident in how they've reinforced the cage
since the last time you tried to make an escape.
Those four holes, like post holes they dug, really did the job.
Yeah, they sunk it down a little bit.
They packed it in the dirt.
They tamped it down.
This isn't going anywhere.
He's fairly confident.
He's looking up and watching.
You see him focused very clearly on the spot where you had previously snuck in.
Do you want to try and do something now?
So he's not looking at you anymore.
Yes.
I want to slip through the bars.
What's around me?
Is it like a little tent village situation?
Are they like little shed buildings?
Yeah, they're like crudely built shed structures.
I want to hide behind one of those.
Okay, so roll stealth, please.
This one's been rolling very well.
Mind your business.
Nineteen.
Nineteen, love it.
And tally behind you.
See?
Well, it was rolling very well.
Fucking tally.
So you quickly get out of these bars and make your way over to the nearest structure,
which is currently unoccupied.
Do you see look back and you give a call to tally.
And they appear to be stuck on some of the rope as they are trying to get through.
And they get all through but one of their feet.
And they begin to walk thinking maybe they're clear.
And they pull the entire structure down behind them, which turns the goblin back to them.
And that's where we leave that moment as we cut back up to our three adventurers
who we can say you're making your way down.
You see Bonwyn in particular and Kavlaran you can see too.
You see a lot of movement in the city after Bizard begins calling.
You see them all these different figures in the bioluminescence.
You see them moving off into a far tunnel system on the other side.
So they're not coming towards you,
but it looks like they're maybe mobilizing at a different spot.
Perhaps part of the plan idea that is actually working for you.
To get down to the city from where you are, there is a...
I wouldn't call it a path.
I would call it like...
Like a goat trail?
One person's walked there once before.
And it's a fairly steep incline.
Just one time.
One time.
I didn't realize.
It was too steep.
It was a bad idea.
You see ass marks as you know they went down.
I did say that it looked like a lot of the goblins and whatever commotion came through this.
So I'll retract that because that contradicts what I said previously.
It looks like one group of goblins and perhaps two half-elves have come through once before
and have made a little bit of a pack.
More all of them have rolled down this hill to get back down to the city.
And at this point...
So I see them all moving away.
Great.
Loving Bizard's plan.
Can I see more like...
The only real landmark that you have is that orange glow from what you can presume is a fire
off and farther into the town.
Well, there's a fire in the distance.
I don't know where else to look.
So it seems like...
Let's just go for it.
I agree.
I say fire.
I say there's got to be something happening where the fire is.
So let's go check that out.
We have to...
Where there's smoke, there's fire.
Thank you.
There it is.
So...
Wrapping it up.
Thank you.
Boom.
Nice little button on that.
Let's do it.
Double quick time.
Let's just get over there and see while they're all distracted.
Here we go.
Love it.
The three of you quickly barrel down this.
Let's make an athletics roll each.
Okay.
That's a 10.
Not ideal.
That's a 14 for Cav.
Eight.
Ouch.
Jeez, the sum of us are rolling down that hill.
You do have a plus six for Ring Kip for athletics.
Oh, that's true.
That's a 14 for it.
Yes, yes.
Yeah.
Very athletic guy.
So athletic.
I mean, you carry around to that many axes,
you're going to get pretty athletic.
You know what I mean?
It's true.
It's always leg day, right?
He's axe ripped.
You're all running down the side of this hill,
trying to be quiet,
but also at the same time not because, you know,
presumably most of the goblins in the city
are moving back up and towards Bazaar,
who we'll cut back to in a moment here.
You make it down to the edge of the city.
You pause for a moment.
Very much like Rambo infiltrating like a POW camp.
You watch one goblin.
Yeah, you watch one goblin walking by,
just like picking his nose and flicking it,
and then stopping and standing in front of you.
And now he's in like the scratching his head,
scratching his butt moment,
a la Goldeneye,
that kind of behavior happening there.
Sure.
Yeah.
NPC behavior, you're saying?
Yep, exactly.
Like he will be the first to die.
Something about he used to be an adventurer
until he took an arrow to the knee.
There's more commotion happening up there,
which sounds like maybe, you know,
somebody has arrived at this confused,
confused individual's location.
We'll get there in a moment.
And he looks up and then turns back
and begins walking away,
which gives you a moment to duck
and weave through this town.
You manage to make it not very far.
Stop rolling my dice.
Your dice are working very well.
I'm not rolling to do good things to anybody.
Oh, fair enough.
Keep your hands off my dice.
That was my nat1 that you just stole.
You are making your way through the city,
thinking that everything's good.
You're bypassing all of these rogue NPCs
and make your way to where you can see
the glow of the fire.
And there's a bit of a commotion up ahead.
And you see one goblin
trying to correct this structure
in front of you.
And Bonwyn, you recognize Tally,
who seems to be stuck
inside of this wooden structure
and this goblin.
Roll insight.
It's a minus two.
16.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, 16.
This goblin is trying to lift this structure.
You get an idea that this goblin
is not actively at this point
trying to hurt Tally.
Like they're trying to get them free
perhaps so that they can put them back
in this structure.
That's the vibe you get.
There's no aggression towards them
or just frustrated.
He's been trying to put this tank up
for so long and you're not helping.
The dog's barking.
The kids are crying.
Could we just get this through the instructions
and he's just like, what?
So that's what you see.
We'll be right back.
It's the middle.
Welcome to the middle, everybody.
Thanks for being here.
It's a lovely day
and I hope you're having a lovely day as well
because we've been releasing
and I say we've been releasing
like we've been doing it for a very long time
and there's many of them.
We've released one
and it's a session zero.
So does it really count?
But it's a cyberpunk red
the game that we're playing
and it's getting some of the most
likes and feedback
out of everything we've posted.
Seriously, everybody's eating.
They're stoked.
Drop the spoiler alert
for us for us next time.
But we say that because
I mean everybody enjoys
all the things we do
and they share their love
and affection for it.
The most engagement,
if I can use just a shitty marketing term
that we've had on anything.
So like you should come join us
and listen to it
because new episodes
are going to be dropping for that
monthly moving forward
and it's a whole lot of fun
and Kyle's running it.
Did we mention that?
Yeah, he is.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Yeah, he is.
So a bit of a different dynamic
for the group because I mean
I usually run games for the main feed.
Tom steps in on the Patreon stuff.
Amy and Carla are in there.
Make dick jokes in the background.
But occasionally run a game.
But usually it's just the four of us.
Yeah, so having somebody else
run the game is super fun
and I'm very excited for it.
We've recorded the first episode
just need to put it together
and get it out to you.
So it's the first of the month.
So I hope it's the first of the month
as we release this.
It's been a day.
So we hope it's a perfect time to join
and when you do join.
Have I let anybody else talk yet?
I don't think so.
Well, sort of.
I didn't get to talk at all on one.
So that's true.
Take it away, honey.
Take it away.
So when you are a patron
you get an episode dedicated to you
like today's patron, Nick Jones.
Thank you, Nick.
Join us at patreon.com slash dumb
dragon cast to get in on the cyberpunk
and episode dedications
and a seven day free trial.
You can come just you can come
taste that cyberpunk episode
and give it back to us if you wanted to.
But from the sounds of it,
you'll be hooked.
I know I am.
All right.
Well, let's get you back
to the episode then.
Have a great week.
We'll talk to you soon.
Bye.
Let's cut back up to Bazaar.
Bazaar, you're calling doing your thing
and after not long
you hear quick footsteps and movement
and scuffles along the dirt
above and off into the other pathway
that they didn't go.
That they didn't go.
Good thing they didn't go
because they're coming up that way.
Great thinking, everybody.
It's working out.
It's all working out.
Three cheers for the whole.
It doesn't take long
before the room begins to fill up
with goblins.
So I guess as the first few come in,
what do you do?
So I've got my torch ready.
I didn't actually drop.
I mean, I didn't drop my scimitar.
I just clanged it on the wall.
I'm standing there
and as soon as the first groups
converge onto that one point,
I begin to do the somatic components
of a spell.
Drawing out from my pocket
a small spider.
I let it crawl around my hand,
spinning a web,
and then I blast it forth,
creating a 20 square foot cube
of web on that point.
Nice.
Perfect.
So like the feeling that you get
when you walk through a spider web,
but like a hundred times worse.
Oh, big time.
And my eye immediately just like
goes bloodshot.
My left eye.
Love it.
So 20 square foot.
So yeah, you're absolutely able
to cover the two entrances.
Goblins begin pouring in there.
They do have weapons drawn
that you can see
and quickly get caught up in this.
Matt, you told me
I can't roll your dice,
but I don't have my own dice.
Boundaries, motherfucker.
Yeah.
I mean, if you want to
roll any save DCs for them,
it's a 14 and a dex save.
They did not save.
So they are piling through
and getting caught up
and then you can see
that there are a few back further
and they're calling to each other
and a few of them turn around
and they are running back
the other direction.
I begin spinning my blade
as a song begins to vibrate from it
and I start moving towards
the ones that are caught in the web
since they are restrained
and begin slashing.
Ouch.
Oh shit.
And just cutting down goblins.
I can't believe us.
Your brooms are missing all of this.
He's shooting web walls.
He's killing.
And we're just like running through the village.
I hope this is like an ongoing thing
where like we just don't see
Bazaar doing like these crazy amazing things.
It's like a goblin
Benihana up there right now.
It's just yeah.
Yeah, I evoke my blade song.
There's your ep title right there.
Goblin Benihana.
What song does it sing, Kyle?
Oh, it's just a humming vibration
that matches the tunes of the bells
from Bernhard Swann's
School of Magic Fighting and Dance.
As that song is singing
and perhaps being a call and answer
of the cries of the goblins
on the receiving end,
we cut back down to the three of you.
You see this goblin
trying to correct this structure
and tallies there.
You don't see Alydin from where you are.
What do you do?
Oh, I think I'm just going to go
and try and like knock over the structure
or get tally out in some way.
If Alydin's not there
because something bad happened,
then something bad happened.
And if she's not there
because she's been sneaky, great.
Like either way,
I got to help this kid that's in a cage.
Got it. Okay.
I do have an axe actually.
So I guess I could go up
and axe the cage open.
Perfect.
So she can be free.
Awesome.
So you're going to-
Okay, everybody, axes.
Okay. Axes.
Saves the day.
We do a flashback to Up at the Hole
where we did a quick training montage
with all the axes.
Surprisingly, with all the clanging of the axes,
they still didn't hear that.
Yeah. Couldn't hear it.
Amazing.
It has to be a scimitar
for them to be able to hear it.
That's right.
Yes. So you are attacking the structure,
not the goblin at the structure.
Correct.
Got it.
So, I mean, the structure is not going to move.
Roll some damage.
So that's a three.
Three damage to cage.
Perfect. The cage explodes.
Wow. That was not much of a cage.
What is that? Is it made of balsa wood?
I mean, they weren't children.
We're picking it up.
That's true.
So I feel like they-
Balsa wood.
Actually glued together.
That's a popsicle stick cage.
Wow. All right.
And I say like, Tally, come on.
And I grab her.
You grab her.
Alydin, you're in one of these structures.
As you get into the structure,
nobody sees you.
You don't see anybody.
So we'll back this up just a little bit.
You get into the structure
and inside of this structure,
you turn and look in Tally,
see Tally's stuck,
the Goblin's going towards Tally.
Then you hear a little noise coming from behind you.
You turn and you look
and you see the Goblin who tossed you the pebble
who looks big eyes and panicked
is looking at you and kind of like
gives you like a this way kind of hand motion.
Kids trust kids.
I go over to the Goblin.
And they duck out the back of this little structure
and they like are calling for you to follow them.
I do it.
Okay.
What an adventure.
Meanwhile, we're down here trying to find you.
Right.
I'm on my own adventure.
Fuck Tally.
She'll be fine.
Adults be damned.
I taught her well.
So this is happening before the people have actually shown up.
So you are following this Goblin
who's weaving between structures
avoiding other Goblins as they pass
and kind of you know you get a good sense
that they're they appear to be trying to help you.
Yeah.
They seem well intentioned.
And as they're leading you through the town
you catch out of the corner of your eye three adults
one of which you recognize as Bonwyn
one's familiar in Kavlaran
and a guy you've seen around town with a big mustache.
All wielding axes running through this town.
So you're now kind of behind them
as they're running to where they think you are.
What do you do?
From out of my bucket I pull a slingshot
and I bend down and pick up a smooth stone
because I'm not looking to impale anybody
and I take careful aim and I shoot it at Kavlaran's ass.
Okay so now we'll kind of bring this all together here.
The three of you are at Bonwyn's just jumped
the structures exploded graded grab tally
and Kavlaran you're hit swiftly in the ass with a stone.
Stings doesn't give you any damage but it stings a lot.
Yeah smooth stone.
Ow what the hell where did that come from?
You turn turn around.
Are they shooting at the stones now?
I think it's just the one over there.
Just one?
Who we're looking for.
All right.
Yes hello.
Oh see you.
Oh sorry.
Hello.
Sorry.
We see you.
How far away am I?
How far does your slingshot shoot?
My slingshot will shoot as far as I fucking want it to shoot.
That's not true it has a number beside it.
Fine.
Fine it says 30 to 120 feet so 120 on the outside.
Yeah so let's say you're let's say you're 30 feet away.
Okay then I hit him square that's gonna leave a bruise.
So you're now you've got the the three adults in front of you
and you've got this goblin who's trying to he's calling you over
and like leading you out of the town basically.
I gesture like just like come this way and I run
and I follow the goblin hoping that my message got across.
Kavlaran roll insight.
Oh no.
Tom rolls well it's gonna be okay.
I roll well.
Kav's a bit of a dummy but I roll well.
All right here we go.
Insight.
Oh it's a plus four all right we like that.
12 on the die so 16.
16 love it.
You get a sense that Alydin's going to
is trying to lead you out you don't see the goblin that they're chasing though.
All right guys.
Alydin we got it we got to go that way.
Where are we going that way for.
She waved us over.
We're getting waved by people now who's who's waving us.
Alydin was over there waving at us to I think to get out of the tunnels.
Okay well I'm so glad we came down here then
because apparently they already are getting out but let's do this I guess.
I mean it seems like a win.
I'm calling it a win I mean but I call most things wins.
I will take credit for this.
We hustle over all right let's let's all go here we go here we go.
I grabbed tally I smashed the thing I grabbed tally and I turned back to my friend so if
they have both like just started running I'm going to follow them.
The goblin that was there trying to correct the structure
like is is like jumps back because you startled them clearly.
And a lot of splinters a lot of splinters they're shielding their eyes they're trying
to figure it out they're looking around as you grab tally and begin to motor.
They are starting to chase you but you look back and you see that they kind of
they don't put up a big fight like they start to to hold back as well.
They're too old for this shit.
It was one week from retirement okay.
It's the Danny Glover of goblins.
So all of you now are weaving through unknowingly following this this tiny
goblin child that Alydin is following.
Solid plan.
You get out into this open clearing and there is a small calling it a rivers too much.
It's a bit of a stream that goes through this this smaller tunnel system.
It looks like Alydin ducks in there.
Do you all follow in there?
You would fit it would be tight for most of you.
But you got through that hole.
Yeah we're used to that by now.
Have we gone back towards where Bazaar is or different direction?
Are we worried about Bazaar at all?
I don't know this is the thing we're so far gone.
We made no plan after the distraction.
He can obviously handle himself.
I am more worried about the goblins.
I for a moment got really scared that child was going to run in
to where he was massacring goblins.
I was like no the poor innocent goblin baby.
I mean I'm going to keep following because I don't know who we're following.
I'm just following my friends.
And yeah Rinkip you can't really see very much.
So you're just like leading you're blind leading the blind for you.
You're running following everybody else.
We cut back up to Bazaar.
What does the scene look like around you Bazaar?
It depends on if goblins keep pushing into the web or not.
No they don't.
The ones that are stuck there obviously you have taken care of them.
But you see that they back off.
They are not trying to come any closer to this.
Does it look like they're running back towards the city?
Make an insight roll.
Okay can do.
Bazaar massacred friends and family members stuck inside of a web.
That's an eight.
Yes I don't know who the bad guy is.
I mean come on.
Yeah you see them backing up.
Some of them still have weapons drawn.
Some of them are are are standing their ground a little bit more.
But you see most of them filtering back down the tunnel which they came.
So back towards the city you can presume because that's where they all came up from.
But they are hesitant.
They came in quickly when you were making noise but they are very hesitant now.
Rightfully so.
I am going to taunt them and make offensive hand gestures their way.
That'll do it.
Okay.
Come on.
Is this like a goading skill or is this just what you're doing?
No no this is just this is just what.
Just making sure it's not a D&D thing.
I'm just an asshole.
No no no.
Yeah no well let me let me just double check real quick if I have anything actually
now that I'm thinking about it.
I don't so that's okay too.
But yeah no I would definitely be trying to like keep their attention as much as I can.
Actually you know what if I if I can see one of them then I am going to cast
frostbite at one of them.
Okay.
The closest one needs to make a con save DC 14.
Then that's a 12.
Okay then that goblin takes 11 cold damage.
That's not great for that goblin that has seven hit points.
So that goblin is one of the ones holding their spear standing their ground against you.
What does it look like when you when you cast frostbite?
I pull out a like a small piece of metal and I kind of just like hold it on the tips of
my fingers and you can see them start to turn a little black at the ends and then
I release the metal and this blast of just cold arcane energy like emits and it runs from it.
After that the goblin is frozen in spot and the two goblins that are flanking this one
they look at their friend and then they turn and run like everybody's running away from you now.
I mean they should have done that at the web part of things.
You know that would have been the wise thing.
Yeah well the web was innocuous the web was sticky it was the blades afterwards.
Absolutely nothing innocuous about a giant spider web in the middle of the cave.
Goblins have minus one wisdom so and no extra intelligence.
Not deep thinkers.
Okay they are they actually haven't hurt anybody.
The remaining group is running away from you now.
Okay what do you do?
I'm going to yell out really loud heads up they're retreating from me.
You poke your head through the hole yell that.
So Bonwyn based on how we've described this Kavlaran and Rin Kip would be in front of
you you have tally in tow you hear Bizard call to you.
You would be able to respond to him at this moment if you want.
They're retreating from me.
Okay we're on our way out save yourself.
I don't even know if we're on our way out.
Will do.
Good call.
Okay you're going presumably Bizard you're going to try and just head back the way you
came.
Yes I'll stick around for a moment just to make sure.
Have you seen this hole in the wall though if you consider maybe.
It's very fun to go through I mean it doesn't look like it but it's great to go through
you know it feels good.
Yeah I'm a single person and I have to carry a torch so I'm like going to stand
out like a sore thumb so got it.
I'm going to try and you're not stupid like us.
Based on the what I just got is like we're heading out like save yourself means
they have their way out and I can go where I need to go so.
That's that's what I infer from that.
You can hear where the where Bonwyn's voice is coming from and it's like you knew they
were heading off and towards the the orange glow of the fire it's off into the other
side of the city now so presumably they're either being chased or they've found another
way out so you can hang around for a moment.
You do hear movement back down off into the tunnel system where all these goblins had
previously gone so you hear them coming back into the city grumbles calls amongst them
but they don't appear to be moving back towards your friends on the other side.
Excellent.
The rest of you are climbing through this this creek system which the walls themselves
are glowing with this blue aura of just moss and lichen and that sort of thing.
Kavlaran you're up front you can see Alydin and now for the first time you see that
Alydin is following somebody.
Do you do anything with that information?
I just keep following.
Seems like it's at least leading somewhere so.
Great.
I mean I would like that information I want to say you know if we are in fact following
an infant goblin through a glowing cave I mean I feel like maybe that's pertinent
information but I mean I don't know what do I know I'm just the axe guy.
And the mustache guy.
That's right don't downplay the mustache.
And just the mustache axe guy.
Let's go let's go.
The tunnel system begins to widen and you can see daylight up ahead now so those who
couldn't previously see very well are now able to see more.
You do get a glimpse as this begins to widen and you can see around everybody you do
get a glimpse of a small goblin all of you up at the front leading you out and
through this system.
We've been following a goblin baby this whole time.
Okay I mean daylight's daylight am I right folks?
That's fine I just maybe pass that information back next
time to the caboose of the situation.
Alydin hugs the there's got a goblino there's got to be a name for a bit like a small
child it's a goblino a goblino goblet goblet oh wait a minute that's a thing that's
wait a minute that's already a word childish goblino childish goblino that's the one.
Alydin hugs the goblino and says thank you but I assume they understand what I'm
saying like a like a they smile at you and they point out of the tunnel.
And I point to them and then back in the tunnel.
And then they look at all of your friends and they look
look cautious with all of their axes.
Oh um guys put your sharp things away.
Are we at putting axes away time now?
Do you really feel comfortable doing that or I mean we're out of the cave?
Like the entrance exits right there and you're freaking out my friend.
I will put my axe away that is that I I agree sure sure sure sure yeah sure.
What's your name?
I look back at tally and I'm like like if you're gonna just throw moldy bread at me again I'm
not sure the goblino in front of you yeah I like it I like it goblin child just didn't
sound right child the goblino in front of you squints I point to me and I say Alydin.
They point to themselves and say brasp brasp brasp brasp it's tough to
one vowel it's brasp brasp okay bye thanks and I run.
Let's get out of here.
So you exit onto the river river like there's this is a small alcove off into the
bend that comes into the city so you know a place where people go to fish but there's
nobody here right now and make out and make out you make your way back to the city and
back towards the stables where as you get there you hear knocking at the door and you see there
are six children sitting on top of the door that's in the floor and there's knocking coming
from below and you hear Bazaar calling up hey can can you can you stop blocking the door
the magic machine said we had to make sure that nobody came in or out
I think we should shoo the kids away I'm gonna shoo the kids away and we're like kids get off
the door oh okay okay okay okay okay okay Alydin you're back thank you for following
directions oh it was very nerve-racking going out and finding Bonwyn you didn't tell us what
Bonwyn looked like I knew you could figure it out it was a test they they look very proud
of themselves and they go off into the back of the stable Tali kind of corrals them
getting them out of there you open back up the door Bazaar you're you're allowed to come out now
actually jokes on you I close the door Bazaar is in there for another whole episode
just grab my blade all right let's do this no just kidding um hey thanks for finding us
of course I'm glad that you told the kids to come look for me you know I was told that
it's good to have a plan B and I just learned this word contingency it's a really good one
um that's like it's a really fancy jerk way of saying just just in case yeah we I was worried
when you didn't show up for the for the adventure oh I miss the adventure oh you did
but you don't worry you did not worry it was not good you had more of an adventure than we
know like she like gestures like Bonwyn Tali's not there if you're trying to over well no but
I also want to say it's in front of the boys fair enough so like Tali goes to the bathroom
like a lot so like I think like we don't usually see like healers or whatever but like
oh but we should probably 100 percent she tried to put my bucket I can arrange something
oh oh no I'm so sorry um yeah why don't you guys come to the shop in the morning
and yeah I I went to high school with a guy
we're gonna have to ambush her she's not gonna like it anyway um thanks everybody oh of course
no I give an awkward salute because I feel like I return it just like yeah
yeah you're Bizard right yes yes I am yeah Alydin correct yes thanks I heard you
because I recognize your voice because I've seen you around town and if you hadn't been like
acting so stupid and stuff I would not have been able to squeeze out of those bars so I
get that a lot oh fantastic thanks for being all stupid and stuff really let me do my thing
you know there's a time and a place for it and you just know how to kind of know how to read the
cave oh um I think they have your thing and I point over to a group of kids who are
surrounding this ball and they've got like a hungry look in their eyes like like you know
they've discovered social media for the first time yes no that's that's fancy little
prototype still working on things this place this is where you make your home correct no
I don't know who told you that okay then I guess that's not the case but if it were then
perhaps having someone come around and show you these cool new things that they happen
to be creating while also offering some form of education or instead of at your home you
could come to the shop after it closes down the magic closet and uh you know learn something
more about the world yeah okay yeah that sounds cool like you know if I have time and stuff
because I take care of all these if you have time rats so and if anything maybe there will
be a good meal in it for you fade out on this scene and back to the Brewed Awakening where
the adults have gathered back Ignatius is still calling for people to give their thoughts on
Charis as you enter just anybody who will say anything he says yes yes that is that is what
Charis is well known for the green hat they were did wear a green hat all the time
so bond when you're back you just missed the best the best eulogy of dear sweet Charis
is this thing still going it's still happening the memorial still so happy it's a relapsing
remitting pop-up memorial it sounds like this memorial needs like a 12-step program Ignatius
you okay I'm feeling better you're gonna head back to the quivering hills maybe yes back
to the quivering hills lock up uh you know make sure everybody's on their way I guess
that's uh I guess that's about time for me uh Bench was really excited about people coming
in and sharing their stories though because every time they shared a story they bought
another drink uh so that's okay we'll continue this tomorrow I feel like we could
everybody has enough stories to last all week as he's exiting the bird awakening
I'm seeing like a new like like new income revenue like revenue for
is it like the brood awakening and the eternal sleep get your drinks and your funeral services
yes yeah only flash memorials nothing planned memorial marathon you die and it happens
immediately yeah even if you don't die apparently it happens immediately oh yeah yeah get ahead
of the game that's yeah even if you're just missing for two days yeah you all pull up to the
side of the side of the bar and Bench pours you all your drinks and says well where'd you guys go
oh um around yeah you know just uh you just had to you know just uh from a perimeter around
the it was it's great yeah everything worked out great yeah there are no goblins underneath
the city I didn't even think there could be so don't worry about that yeah no it wasn't
even on my mind I will just continue living my uh my blissful ignorant life uh and and be
okay with it all right well here you go have a good one and he moves over and uh when the scene
fades of the four of you and uh you all look to Bizard who's you've only now just realized
is covered in blood
I'm
Dumbgeons and Dragons season three episode 17 starring Amy More as Alydin, Carla Maxdead
as Bonwyn Everbane, Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard
with special guest Joe Fisher from Midnight Burger as Rin Kip Celador and Russ More as
your Dungeon Master. Dialogue Editing by Carla Maxdead and Sound Design by Russ More.
This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,
Boom Library and Sound Ideas. Our amazing cover art and character designs are by Matt
Garbutt and a huge thank you to our supporting producers Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak,
Kat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Christian Brown, Angaron Kierzen, Perry Matey, Craig Zeiss,
Old School Gamer D, L.A. Branton, Nathaniel Teeter and Aaron. If you enjoy the adventure
that you're listening to we'd love for you to join us over on Patreon. Why? Well because
you get to spend more time with us and we get to spend time with you. It's what we love most
about doing this whole this whole thing that we call Dumbgeons and Dragons and when I when
I say you get more of us like there's a whole other show The Adventures of where we're
running uh a different campaign DMed by Tom uh Kyle is starting to run us through a cyberpunk
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you can take part in some take part in all we suggest most of it but you do you
patreon.com slash dumb dragon guest we'll see you over there all right everybody have
a great week and we'll talk to you soon bye. Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons
production.