[0.0s] Hey, welcome back, friend.
[2.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin in a moment.
[12.2s] The goblins have tossed another log on the fire.
[15.8s] And Alydin and Tally, you're you're you've scooched as close as you can.
[21.4s] It's very cold down here and you're trying to keep warm by the fire.
[26.8s] Do you think anybody up there told Bonwyn, was it, that we haven't come back yet?
[37.8s] How many days do you think we've been down here?
[42.3s] Well, how many times have you peed in that corner?
[46.0s] Well, a lot to start.
[49.3s] Not as many.
[50.2s] It was a lot.
[51.5s] Well, I like to be very hydrated.
[56.3s] As much as I can.
[58.3s] But they've given us a lot of, and she looks down, a lot of moldy bread.
[65.1s] And there was that one fish that was quite nice.
[69.3s] I know you didn't have much of it.
[70.9s] Too bony.
[72.2s] Too picky.
[74.2s] I got a kid.
[76.3s] It was bony.
[77.3s] I didn't want it.
[79.3s] So like 14?
[81.8s] 14?
[84.4s] Is that not normal?
[85.3s] No, Tally, we're going to take you to a healer.
[91.8s] Anyway, and it smells.
[94.1s] I just, I needed to say it.
[95.4s] I'm so sorry.
[96.6s] But yes, of course they went and they told somebody because that's what I told them to do.
[101.8s] Well, okay.
[102.4s] Well, I hope they show up soon.
[104.1s] They will.
[105.7s] Because after that fish, I'm going to need to do more than pee.
[109.4s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast, and I'm your dungeon master, Russ More, He-Him.
[117.6s] Also with me today is Amy More as Alydin, She-Her.
[121.6s] At this point, you guys have been talking about it for so long.
[124.2s] Tally's taking two shits.
[125.8s] Carla Maxstead as Bonwyn Everbane, She-Her.
[129.3s] There's no schools anymore.
[130.6s] History's mystery.
[131.8s] Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave, He-Him.
[134.7s] We could like maybe hold an axe or two.
[136.8s] Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard, He-Him.
[140.0s] Is Alydin capable of some stabbing?
[143.9s] With special guest Joe Fisher from Midnight Burger as Rinkip Selador, He-Him.
[149.7s] I think maybe rats or some sort of rodentia carries messages.
[155.0s] I don't know.
[155.4s] It's a whole thing.
[156.1s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Patreon supported podcast.
[159.0s] Come see what we have for you over at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[162.6s] It's more of us and it's exciting.
[165.2s] Okay, fuck it.
[166.0s] Let's play.
[176.1s] And we cut to the tunnels.
[180.4s] The group of you are following the map that Bizarre you traced off the map on the floor
[187.5s] that you had seen and it's led you, everybody has the vague idea or even probably a pretty
[195.7s] good idea because you're all adults that know the city very well.
[200.8s] This tunnel system in particular, the one that the kids upstairs told you where
[205.7s] Alydin was supposed to be heading, leads out of the city.
[210.3s] But Rinkip and Bonwyn, this is a direction into an old settlement, which has been
[217.2s] long since abandoned, the settlement of Lingersville.
[219.6s] So it's leading in that direction.
[221.5s] If both of you could roll a history for me, a history check.
[225.7s] I got a 13, I got a 14 history.
[229.6s] Perfect.
[230.7s] These tunnel systems, you have heard stories that there was a large explosion some years
[242.9s] ago that destroyed a lot of these tunnel systems.
[247.0s] And as part of that explosion, there used to be a goblin settlement and it was thought
[253.4s] to have been destroyed by this explosion.
[257.1s] You are walking through these tunnels, all of you crouched.
[262.3s] They are pretty tight, pretty narrow.
[264.8s] And you, after a couple hours following down, there is clear path.
[272.6s] You are following footprints of two small children.
[276.8s] So you're not just wandering aimlessly for hours.
[278.9s] You are following bits of breadcrumbs, so to speak.
[283.0s] You come to a small alcove, which looks like there's a hole on one side of the wall,
[292.2s] which leads out and you can feel a bit of a draft coming into.
[296.4s] Looks like there's a lot of movement back through it based on what you're seeing
[301.3s] from the footprints in the dirt.
[302.7s] A lot of footprints, like how many footprints are we talking about?
[305.5s] Looks like you have been following two sets of footprints, presumably the two kids
[309.9s] you're looking for, but then suddenly there are lots of footprints.
[315.0s] Right.
[315.7s] Like they came out of nowhere.
[317.0s] Like from all the goblins that surrounded them.
[318.8s] Came and got the kids.
[319.7s] But you see now there's like a swarm of footprints.
[323.4s] And the hole.
[324.2s] Yeah.
[324.5s] No blood, no anything like that.
[327.3s] Doesn't look like there was any sort of fight or scuffle.
[331.2s] There was a little bit of pee though, but that was just tally.
[333.9s] There's a scent of urine in the air, obviously.
[337.6s] But yes, it looks like perhaps an ambush of some sort may have happened here.
[342.2s] Okay.
[342.4s] Well now I'm sort of more worried because they were clearly happily just walking
[347.1s] along and then there's all these quite, I mean, these ones seem small, right?
[354.3s] These footprints?
[355.7s] What do they look like?
[357.0s] I don't know if I've seen footprints like this before, but they seem familiar.
[363.6s] But lots of whatever it is.
[365.3s] So that's not ideal.
[368.6s] Well, I mean, what do we know about, what do we know about where we are right now?
[372.2s] We know that, you know, once upon a time, there was something here and by
[380.8s] something, I mean goblins, right?
[384.8s] Okay.
[385.7s] I'm learning something new about the city.
[387.1s] That's great.
[388.2s] This is news to me.
[389.0s] You guys don't know about the goblins?
[390.9s] No, I had no idea.
[392.0s] I mean, this is, this is some good.
[395.2s] Ex-Sheriff knowledge you've got Rin Kit, because I like growing up here, I know
[400.4s] about Lingersville and it was abandoned, explosion.
[403.3s] Nobody really knows why it was so long ago.
[405.5s] There's no schools anymore.
[406.8s] History's mystery.
[408.5s] But now you're saying, yeah, goblins.
[412.9s] So were they, I mean, can you just tell me what you know about the goblins?
[418.8s] Well, they're used to, okay.
[420.8s] So here's what happened.
[421.6s] Were they the, okay, perfect.
[423.4s] Thank you.
[423.8s] What happened was, is that a while back, there was a place here.
[427.2s] There was a, there was a settlement here.
[429.2s] Okay.
[429.5s] Yeah.
[430.0s] Lingersville is what it was called.
[431.8s] And, you know, I don't, nobody really knows what happened.
[434.4s] A lot of people make assumptions.
[435.6s] They don't really know.
[437.1s] Something exploded.
[438.2s] There was an explosion and, and, and, and there goes Lingersville, not around anymore.
[446.7s] There was also here, you know, an encampment of goblins.
[451.6s] Now, if you, now we, we know, you know, we know goblins.
[454.7s] Sure.
[455.0s] Goblins.
[455.4s] Fine.
[456.0s] And, and, and if there's anything that destroys goblins, it's explosions because
[461.8s] explosions pretty much kill all of the things.
[465.0s] Yeah.
[465.2s] Almost everyone's weak to explosion.
[467.8s] Yeah.
[468.8s] Everyone's got a little sensitivity to things exploding.
[472.3s] And so what happened was there was this explosion and I think we all just kind
[475.7s] of assumed, you know, they're bye-bye goblins.
[480.4s] Yeah, okay.
[481.1s] Okay.
[481.8s] Goblins dead.
[483.3s] Not a ridiculous assumption to make.
[484.9s] I don't think when in a big explosion happens, you usually just assume
[489.6s] everybody's dead.
[491.0s] That's why we don't look for the bodies anymore.
[492.8s] However, we've got some, that's right.
[495.0s] However, however, there's some, however, I know I need to apologize for that.
[504.4s] I mean, the thing is we're seeing some strange footprints on the ground.
[508.4s] Are we not?
[509.8s] We are.
[510.5s] Yeah, all right.
[510.9s] We are.
[511.3s] So I mean, now that you say goblin.
[514.1s] I mean, it could be saying, I look, I don't want to, I'm not the type to spread
[518.1s] rumors around or anything like that.
[519.5s] I want to, I don't want to get in front of my skis about it, but I'm just
[522.1s] saying used to be goblins here, strange footprints on the ground.
[526.0s] Goblins are a little crafty.
[527.3s] Also kind of hard to like kill all of them because they are, there's always
[530.8s] that one, you know what I'm saying?
[532.6s] So it's just like, and if there's one, I mean, you know, and so I'm just
[536.0s] saying, you know, add some time.
[538.8s] There's more goblins now because they just, they just duplicate.
[543.3s] If there's one, you know, that's what I've heard about goblins.
[545.6s] I don't know what you guys have heard about goblins, but it's like one goblin.
[548.7s] You leave it there for a while.
[550.2s] I thought if a goblin gets wet, it'll, it'll reproduce that way.
[554.2s] That's why you don't know.
[555.1s] That's a gremlin.
[556.3s] Shit, right.
[557.2s] And I think it applies to all.
[558.4s] I mean, you know, I just assume that about all monster
[561.2s] creatures is that they just multiply.
[563.7s] Is that wrong?
[564.2s] I'm well, I assume everything fucks.
[567.8s] Well, I'm not saying they don't do that.
[570.0s] I'm just saying, listen, if there's one goblin, there's going to be more goblins
[575.0s] eventually. That's what I think either by becoming more goblins or by just
[579.6s] getting the word out, like, Hey, I'm a goblin.
[581.6s] I'm here alone.
[582.6s] Come here.
[583.8s] Right.
[584.2s] Yeah.
[585.1s] So goblin osmosis or goblin personals are the two.
[589.8s] Okay.
[590.3s] They have a very complex communication system that can span miles sometimes.
[597.4s] Miles and miles, you know, it's not pigeons.
[600.8s] It's not carrier pigeons.
[601.9s] We know that now, because as it turns out, pigeons do not do well underground,
[606.0s] but I think maybe rats or some sort of rodentia carries messages.
[613.0s] I don't know.
[613.4s] It's a whole thing where nobody's really sure.
[616.4s] Scholars still argue about it.
[618.0s] But regardless, if there's one goblin here and the humans are gone
[623.1s] because of the explosion, then there could eventually be more goblins.
[627.6s] I'm saying that, okay, here's what I'm, let me wrap it up.
[630.1s] All right.
[630.4s] I'm saying that the goblin population could have rebounded faster, I think,
[636.4s] than the human population would.
[638.4s] And now we've got all these footprints on the ground.
[640.0s] We're underground.
[640.8s] They love it there.
[642.3s] I'm saying we could be, we could have a goblin situation right now.
[647.0s] Goblin coded situation.
[650.1s] Close that circle right back up again.
[651.9s] Just like you always do.
[653.2s] Here we are.
[655.3s] I mean, I'm convinced.
[657.6s] Russ, can we like smell smoke or anything through that?
[660.6s] Because they have a fire inside there, don't they?
[663.0s] Yeah.
[663.8s] Yeah.
[664.1s] Have we noticed anything as we're just having a little meeting out here?
[668.4s] Are you going to spread in fish?
[670.3s] Because you would a hundred percent smell if someone's cooking fish in there.
[674.1s] I am so sad I didn't bring an NPC along because we would be talking about
[677.6s] goblins for the next 25 minutes.
[679.2s] I know we would.
[680.6s] Let's go.
[681.0s] Let's do it.
[682.4s] That's right.
[682.7s] This is what the downtime is for.
[684.2s] I killed a weekend talking about goblins.
[686.4s] Are you kidding me?
[687.0s] I can do this all day.
[689.5s] I wish you would join me in the middle, my friend.
[694.4s] You could join us on Patreon and get an episode dedication.
[702.4s] Hey friends, welcome to the middle.
[703.9s] It's, it's me here hanging out with you.
[706.5s] So it's the biggest party that we have right now.
[710.6s] I don't have a lot to tell you today, but what I do have is a very important thing.
[716.6s] It's the episode dedication, which sometimes when I record by myself, I forget to do.
[722.0s] But if you join us at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, not only do you get
[726.2s] access to a whole bunch of exclusive bonus content, I swear the cyberpunk
[731.3s] red session zero is coming out very soon, if not by the end of this week.
[736.7s] So look out for that.
[737.9s] Uh, but you also get an episode dedicated to you.
[740.9s] That's what I said.
[742.0s] And today's patron who gets the episode dedicated to them is nine LK nine LK.
[750.4s] Thank you very much.
[751.9s] Uh, nine elk, nine LK.
[756.1s] I feel 90, 90, nine LK, nine LK.
[761.5s] Uh, you know, it's like one of those vanity license plates that you're
[765.1s] trying to figure out as you're walking by.
[767.4s] Like it's probably literally just nine LK, but maybe there's
[772.4s] other deeper meaning to it.
[773.8s] So if there is, let us, let us know.
[775.9s] But, but this is, this is the great stuff you get, uh, when
[779.2s] Russ is hanging out by himself.
[781.0s] Uh, what are some other things that are going on?
[782.8s] Um, well, Joe has been playing with us now for a couple episodes.
[786.8s] He's in one more next week.
[788.7s] Really excited about that.
[790.1s] And we've been busy recording a whole bunch of other great
[792.2s] stuff with some other shows, uh, Dungeons and Drimbus.
[794.8s] We're going to be appearing, uh, in a cyber Monday feature
[799.8s] coming up on cyber Monday.
[801.8s] So a little bit of time to wait, but Carla and I went over there.
[805.0s] Um, we had some friends who, uh, from a show we've mentioned earlier
[809.0s] this season, uh, the looters podcast, uh, two of them.
[814.0s] Right after these Joe episodes are going to be coming to join us.
[817.1s] And then shortly after we start releasing those, we're going to be
[820.4s] appearing over on their show as well.
[823.6s] Uh, so make sure you're listening to all the different shows that we
[826.2s] guessed on, cause that'll keep you busy, busy forever and for always.
[829.9s] Right.
[830.5s] Uh, we'll have more details about all of that as they come up.
[833.1s] And, uh, we'll let you know we're working on more always and forever.
[837.2s] But I think that's the end of the middle.
[839.1s] Uh, let's get you back to the episode.
[840.7s] It's a fun one and I hope you're enjoying it.
[842.7s] Have a great week.
[843.4s] We'll talk to you soon.
[844.4s] Bye.
[845.2s] Uh, let's, uh, let's, I mean, there's no, there's no danger in the hole.
[850.6s] Let's take a peek around.
[851.9s] Uh, so the footprints you've been following stop here.
[855.5s] Like they don't, nothing goes further really like there, there's some
[859.0s] commotion coming from kind of all directions, uh, but most of them do
[863.6s] appear to be that they're moving back through this, this newfound land.
[867.8s] Uh, and, uh, we're going to have a lot of, uh, we're going to have a
[872.0s] lot of people that are going to be that they're moving back through this,
[875.0s] this newfound hole in the side of this tunnel.
[877.8s] Um, who would like to be the one who looks through?
[881.5s] Because it's not big enough for everybody to kind of crowd around
[884.0s] and like three Stooges style look.
[886.0s] Uh, and you know, I, well, I mean, who's the, who's the quietest one?
[890.4s] You know what I mean?
[891.9s] Does anybody have any of that weird, you know what I mean?
[894.7s] Sweet, the sneaky stuff.
[896.6s] Anybody have any sneaky skills?
[898.0s] I'm not very, I have four axis.
[899.9s] I'm not sneaking anywhere.
[901.8s] There's a lot of clanking.
[902.5s] There's a lot of clank.
[903.1s] I clank everywhere I go, you know, they've heard, they've heard you at this point.
[906.5s] I mean, we all, we know they know, they know why I'm here.
[910.3s] They're all just sitting around, actually listening to the history
[913.2s] that they've never been taught generations before they were alive.
[918.6s] Yeah.
[918.9s] It was so long ago.
[920.2s] That's so true.
[921.1s] That's so true.
[923.1s] Uh, anyway, who, who can, who's, who's crafty, who's sneaky?
[925.9s] Anybody I'm pretty sneaky.
[928.8s] Can I try and, I mean, listen, first of all, I want to say,
[931.0s] I'll do it.
[931.6s] I'll go through.
[933.5s] Okay.
[933.8s] I'm not going to send anybody else out of there.
[935.6s] I'm just saying I'm probably a bad choice, but I'll do it.
[939.6s] No, we appreciate your honesty.
[941.2s] I just, if you can give me a minute to take my axis off.
[944.2s] Here's to something.
[944.8s] If I take off all my axis, maybe I'm not so, maybe I'm not so loud anymore.
[949.8s] I think it'd be better if you kept the axes on on the off chance.
[953.2s] Like you need to be ready with those axes.
[955.3s] I should keep the axes on.
[957.1s] Keep the axes on.
[958.0s] Absolutely.
[958.6s] Axe on through hole.
[960.2s] You're saying.
[961.0s] Yes.
[963.1s] Okay.
[963.4s] Great.
[964.2s] I'm going to get out.
[964.9s] Listen, I, because it's a cave, I'm not going to get out the great acts.
[967.9s] I'm just going to get out the battle acts.
[970.2s] And I'm just like, this is more of a cave acts.
[972.4s] I feel then the great access, right?
[974.9s] Cause I don't want to get it like lodged comically in the ceiling.
[979.0s] We all know that.
[979.6s] Or do you not going to do that.
[981.6s] So embarrassing.
[982.7s] Yeah.
[983.0s] And the hard to fix.
[984.0s] Let me tell you, blacksmith.
[986.2s] Yeah.
[986.8s] Hard to fix.
[987.4s] Yeah.
[988.3s] So, uh, okay.
[989.1s] So here's what I'm going to, I'm going to get, I'm going to.
[991.3s] Just take a just real quick look around the corner.
[996.2s] Listen, that decision took too long and I'm sorry, but it's good that we get it
[1002.0s] all out in the open and we talk about it.
[1004.8s] I feel, uh, I agree.
[1006.0s] Came to a consensus.
[1007.2s] Yeah.
[1007.7s] Uh, okay.
[1008.8s] I am looking around the corner.
[1011.6s] Did we make you a human?
[1014.2s] Oh my God.
[1014.9s] Did we make you a human?
[1016.8s] Yeah.
[1016.9s] That's why I haven't volunteered for it.
[1018.1s] Cause I'm a human too.
[1019.4s] That's it.
[1020.0s] You'd be human.
[1020.6s] You look, uh, so, uh, we're going to say that you had a, that had some
[1024.4s] sort of a torture candle system, but as you go to look through the hole,
[1028.2s] which is, uh, you know, blocks all light from behind you, uh, you look
[1033.3s] through and it is a dark cavern that you cannot see anything.
[1037.8s] Okay.
[1040.0s] All right.
[1040.2s] I pull my head back through and I say, okay, so good news, I'm alive.
[1046.6s] My head is still on my body.
[1048.2s] Bad news.
[1049.0s] I can't see a fucking thing in there.
[1050.4s] It's completely dark.
[1051.8s] So we're going to have to figure out something else.
[1053.7s] We're going to have to, we're going to need a light source.
[1057.2s] Which may alert.
[1058.1s] I can just see in the dark.
[1059.5s] So if we, could I just quickly, if I could just scooch around you, I could
[1064.6s] just, and then if it is just empty, no worries.
[1068.8s] I feel like seeing in the dark should be like some upfront information
[1071.7s] that we should have had before we went into the cave situation.
[1074.6s] Right.
[1075.2s] Okay.
[1077.1s] I mean, I told you about my axis.
[1079.4s] You're right.
[1080.1s] You're right.
[1080.9s] We didn't all explain what we were bringing to the table, but that is
[1084.7s] something that I can, would you mind having a look-see through this
[1088.9s] mysterious love to take just a little, little looky-loo through the hole.
[1094.1s] Kyle is bizarre, like human human.
[1098.8s] Yeah.
[1100.5s] Wait, what do you mean by human human?
[1102.1s] Like, for the most part, we're all half elves.
[1106.6s] No, I am.
[1107.4s] I am Hooman.
[1108.6s] You're just straight up Hooman.
[1109.8s] Okay.
[1110.5s] Yeah.
[1110.8s] All right.
[1112.6s] I'm a dwarf, Amy.
[1114.0s] Just kidding.
[1114.4s] I know that.
[1115.1s] Yeah.
[1117.1s] Okay.
[1117.6s] What am I rolling?
[1119.4s] Well, you're just putting your head through a hole right now.
[1121.7s] So don't worry about rolling yet.
[1124.3s] So you, you scooch aside Rinkep and Bon, when you put your
[1130.6s] head through the hole and your eyes adjust for a moment and you
[1134.9s] see the same dim luminescence that I described an episode ago
[1141.6s] to our good for now.
[1142.4s] And so you see down below you, what comes into view is a, a
[1146.6s] city of sorts.
[1148.0s] It is built with crudely constructed wooden structures.
[1154.2s] You do pick up a light bioluminescence coming off of
[1159.2s] different parts of those structures and up on the walls.
[1162.8s] Not enough that it would provide a huge amount of light for someone.
[1168.0s] And now you can roll investigation to see if you see anything beyond that.
[1174.3s] That's an 18.
[1176.3s] You are taking a good surveillance of this.
[1182.8s] You do pick up a dim glowing orange light, like very dim, often to
[1190.0s] the far right of this city.
[1193.9s] Um, and you see, um, focusing for a moment, you see quick movements down
[1200.2s] in the city, same bioluminescence.
[1202.4s] You don't pick up what figure or thing is moving, but you see quick
[1206.1s] movements in and out of the buildings.
[1208.1s] Um, and after a short moment, you hear what sounds like, um, pebbles
[1216.2s] starting to roll down some of the hills off into the sides.
[1220.4s] To clarify, you're saying city, but I'm picturing like, like
[1225.3s] settlement more, maybe like an Ewok village, but underground and goblins.
[1235.8s] I don't know.
[1236.0s] Your even sounds too fancy for me.
[1237.9s] Shantytown.
[1239.4s] Something Shantytown is probably better.
[1241.9s] Okay.
[1242.2s] That's what I'm picturing.
[1243.4s] Goblin Shantytown.
[1245.1s] It's a great username by the way.
[1246.2s] Goblin.
[1246.6s] Hi, I'm Goblin Shantytown.
[1248.6s] It's very good.
[1249.7s] Oh, band name, write it down.
[1251.2s] Um, there is, there's, I'm going to say it probably is goblins.
[1257.9s] Cause there's like a lot of structures in there.
[1259.7s] Clearly a bunch of creatures living in there, but sure.
[1263.0s] So that's not great news.
[1264.6s] I mean, it's not great news.
[1265.8s] There's a lot.
[1266.5s] There could be better news coming out of the hole.
[1268.0s] Let's just say goblins.
[1269.4s] Yeah.
[1270.3s] Um, there's a lot of them, I think.
[1271.9s] Thank you for the air quotes on goblins, by the way.
[1273.8s] I appreciate it.
[1274.3s] Cause I don't want to commit in case it's not, you know,
[1277.5s] can you give me a rough estimate on how many goblins we're
[1280.6s] dealing with at this particular time?
[1282.4s] Cause like 10 minutes from now could be more.
[1284.5s] Cause we know how goblins are.
[1285.6s] We've discussed this.
[1286.6s] Right.
[1287.4s] Right.
[1287.9s] Great.
[1288.3s] You're right.
[1288.6s] They're probably, it's going to be half again.
[1290.9s] It's many.
[1291.7s] We stay here long enough.
[1292.7s] The longer we wait, the more goblins there are.
[1295.3s] Absolutely.
[1296.4s] Uh, Russ, I probably like, could make a guesstimate, right?
[1300.8s] Yeah, based on the size, based on the building.
[1303.1s] Do a guesstimate roll.
[1304.8s] Sure.
[1305.2s] Yeah, do a guesstimate roll.
[1307.2s] Uh, we'll call it a three.
[1309.8s] I was going to say, whatever you roll, multiply it by a hundred.
[1313.1s] That's too many.
[1320.3s] Yeah, I rolled a three.
[1321.2s] So you tell me what that means.
[1322.9s] You could probably guess this shanty size, presuming, uh, a
[1330.0s] hierarchical structure of a two to four goblins per structure.
[1334.9s] There could be anywhere from 25 to 50 goblins in this town.
[1340.7s] That's a lot of goblins.
[1342.4s] Yeah.
[1342.7s] Okay.
[1343.9s] I share that information.
[1345.1s] I mean, I feel comfortable assuming that they are the prisoners of goblins.
[1349.4s] I, I feel like, based on the information we have, that's,
[1353.2s] that's gotta be the case.
[1354.4s] Um, so can anyone, I'm sorry, I can't speak goblin.
[1359.8s] Anybody?
[1360.2s] I don't speak goblin.
[1361.2s] No.
[1362.0s] Okay.
[1362.6s] Um, so, uh, diplomatic relations, probably not maybe the best way to go about it.
[1369.1s] Hard to parlay and you can't speak.
[1370.6s] Are they known for their diplomatic relations, the goblins?
[1374.2s] I mean, I barely knew goblins were even in this, like, you're the one.
[1380.0s] I feel like you're the expert in the room.
[1382.2s] What I know of goblins, I'm going to say not really up for a parlay.
[1387.0s] I'm going to say they're going to be more, you know, I mean, if you live
[1391.2s] underground and hide from things, maybe not social.
[1396.8s] And so, yeah, so that's problematic because you would hope that just a
[1401.9s] nice conversation would get us out of this.
[1404.8s] If we could just explain that they're children and if we could just not,
[1408.4s] yeah, that'd be, that'd be just mono a mono talk it out.
[1411.2s] But I, I, I feel like that's not an option.
[1414.3s] Okay.
[1414.6s] So what do we think?
[1415.5s] Just like get a hose down here and flood them out or.
[1418.6s] Do we have a hose?
[1419.6s] Is that a,
[1420.2s] Oh my God.
[1421.2s] Does anyone have a hose?
[1423.2s] No, I'm sorry.
[1424.7s] Oh, that was a joke.
[1425.3s] Just drown them all.
[1426.1s] I mean, I thought, I mean, that sounds like a great idea, frankly, but.
[1428.6s] Carla, that is borderline tie them up and throw them in the
[1431.2s] river right there.
[1431.8s] I know.
[1432.5s] I want it to get back to our roots.
[1437.7s] Does anyone have any ideas?
[1440.0s] Perhaps it's just a misunderstanding and they said, Oh, these goblins
[1444.2s] escaped, they're bad goblins.
[1446.1s] Let's, let's take them back and, you know, maybe just go in and.
[1452.0s] I, I don't know.
[1453.1s] Uh, 25 to 50 is either for us and.
[1459.2s] Well, Bonwyn, you would know it.
[1462.4s] Is Alydin capable of some stabbing?
[1466.4s] I know Alydin's a little bit older than the other kids.
[1470.4s] Can we farm out some of this battle to the children?
[1473.9s] I'm just curious if we, if, if we.
[1476.3s] Delegation is the key to leadership.
[1478.3s] I mean, you have a sling and a screwdriver.
[1483.5s] I could be a murderous Dennis the menace.
[1485.9s] You don't know.
[1486.6s] That's true.
[1488.1s] I will say this.
[1489.3s] I don't know about the, about the murder, but she is very
[1492.8s] smart and very sneaky.
[1494.6s] So, okay.
[1497.4s] You know, if we could, if she sees a chance to escape, she will take it.
[1502.0s] I know that for sure.
[1503.0s] I hope they didn't do something ridiculous, like pick up the cage
[1506.0s] and try and walk.
[1506.8s] Can you imagine?
[1507.8s] Oh my goodness.
[1508.7s] Because that would be embarrassing for them.
[1512.8s] I'm looking at the situation here and it looks like they came from potentially
[1517.2s] above to drop in on our friends.
[1521.0s] So maybe if someone were to stay behind, make a scene, they would leave,
[1526.4s] come down, rain down on that one person.
[1529.0s] And that would free up the rest of our party to go down there and, and save.
[1534.2s] All right.
[1534.4s] So we need a, we need a distraction is what we need.
[1536.8s] We need to distract the goblins so that the rest of the party can
[1539.9s] move in and save the children.
[1541.0s] So bait.
[1542.1s] Yes.
[1542.5s] Bait.
[1542.8s] Just one person to be bait.
[1543.8s] That's bait.
[1544.2s] Yeah.
[1545.8s] Okay.
[1546.0s] I'll do that.
[1546.4s] No, I.
[1547.0s] Ren Kipp, on the off chance that some do stay back, I feel like
[1550.2s] your martial prowess would be better served there.
[1553.6s] I will stay back and I have means to be able to at least slow them
[1558.0s] down as I make some kind of retreat if necessary.
[1562.6s] Okay.
[1563.0s] So I will stay back here.
[1566.0s] I will get my torch out and y'all move forward as quiet as you can.
[1571.4s] Of course.
[1571.8s] Ren Kipp, all the axes, but, you know, walking wind chime.
[1576.8s] I do need to wrap them in some sort of cloth.
[1579.0s] I think that would be helpful in the future.
[1580.5s] Note to self, you know, for next tunnel excursion, next tunnel
[1584.7s] excursion of some sort of sheath.
[1586.8s] They're hard to sheath is the problem.
[1588.4s] Bon, when we could collaborate, figure out some kind of magical
[1591.0s] adaptation to make an ax silent when it clangs against something else.
[1595.4s] Yeah.
[1595.9s] At this point, you guys have been talking about it for so long.
[1598.6s] Tally's taken two shits.
[1601.8s] We cut back down.
[1604.7s] The trolls are going to hate that though.
[1606.0s] It's repellent.
[1607.1s] So it'll keep them.
[1607.5s] Oh my God, there are trolls down here.
[1609.3s] Yeah.
[1610.3s] Oh, I'm sorry.
[1611.1s] Goblins.
[1613.1s] Now there are trolls.
[1614.0s] See what you do.
[1614.6s] Don't give Russ any ideas.
[1616.4s] I'll just throw a troll in there now.
[1618.4s] So if y'all want to move forward, I'll wait until you're out of
[1621.7s] sight and start making a ruckus.
[1625.2s] All right.
[1625.8s] Okay.
[1626.2s] Sure.
[1627.0s] Thanks, Bazaar.
[1627.6s] That's all right.
[1628.4s] So, so are we all going through the hole and then we're splitting up?
[1631.9s] Is that what's happening?
[1633.0s] And now we whisper because now we're, now we're talking about going
[1638.6s] through the hole, plan mode strategy strategy time.
[1642.3s] Okay.
[1642.5s] So we're all going to go through the hole and we're going to split up.
[1644.4s] Is that the deal?
[1645.8s] Yeah, I saw definitely there was a fire in a distance, not a lot of
[1650.9s] movement around so we can all try and sneak.
[1655.6s] Yes.
[1656.0s] I feel like the fire.
[1656.8s] How are you going to sneak?
[1658.0s] Cause you cannot.
[1659.4s] I think we got it.
[1660.0s] I think we got to wait for the distraction part.
[1662.5s] And then when they are distracted by the distraction, they're not
[1666.8s] really going to be listening for four axes in that case.
[1670.6s] I say we stay together because I can see and then you can write and
[1674.7s] then we can also, we could like maybe hold an ax or two.
[1678.3s] Oh, so there's not just four clanging together at
[1680.8s] all times.
[1681.5s] If you would like to do that.
[1682.9s] Unless that's uncalled for.
[1684.5s] I don't, I don't want to assume.
[1686.1s] I don't want to, no, no, no, we're all friends here.
[1688.0s] I have no problem with anyone doing any ax holding if it doesn't
[1692.0s] encumber you in any, in an unnecessary way.
[1695.9s] No, um, Kav, great idea.
[1698.4s] Then we, we all have axes.
[1701.1s] Great.
[1701.8s] Okay.
[1702.4s] So, uh, I'll take the, I'll take the great ax then, since I'm the
[1705.8s] ax guy and it's a little, okay, battle ax from one of you.
[1710.5s] And then a couple of, a couple of throwing axes.
[1714.1s] Okay.
[1714.9s] We're all ax now.
[1715.7s] This is fun.
[1716.3s] This is great.
[1716.9s] I guess all like dual fist, the throwing axis.
[1719.5s] Um, sure.
[1720.6s] I mean, that's, I mean, that's what I do, but, uh, you know,
[1723.8s] the more impressive, I mean, I saw it and I was impressed by it.
[1726.8s] So their own ax path, you know, let's let's, okay, let's go.
[1731.1s] Let's do it.
[1732.0s] I think we're ready.
[1734.4s] All right.
[1734.8s] So, so that I have it three of you, Rin Kip, Bonwyn.
[1740.6s] And Kavalarin going through this hole as previously described as barely
[1747.2s] able to fit one of you through.
[1751.1s] It's fine.
[1751.7s] It's fine.
[1752.4s] We're doing it.
[1753.2s] You've committed to the bit.
[1754.3s] Like we're doing it.
[1755.7s] Uh, and, uh, bizarre, you're staying back.
[1758.8s] Is that what I understood?
[1760.1s] Yeah.
[1760.5s] I'm going to position myself like towards the, where we came in, like
[1764.7s] behind the hole, where it looks like all of them dropped down from.
[1768.4s] Great.
[1769.2s] Cool.
[1769.9s] Awesome.
[1770.7s] Uh, who's going first?
[1772.8s] Uh, Kav, can you see in the dark as well?
[1775.4s] You have dark vision too.
[1776.4s] Okay.
[1776.8s] So we should, um, I'll go first maybe.
[1779.5s] And then, um, Rin Kip can go in the middle.
[1782.9s] So he has, uh, two people who can see to help guide.
[1787.1s] I appreciate that.
[1787.8s] Thank you.
[1788.4s] Yes.
[1788.8s] Perfect.
[1789.3s] Absolutely.
[1790.3s] So I'm going to roll for tight squeeze.
[1792.3s] Tight squeeze.
[1794.5s] There is like a path that they could take not going through this hole.
[1798.2s] Yeah, there was, but yeah.
[1799.6s] No, I'm just making sure I previously described when we entered.
[1806.1s] Yeah.
[1806.4s] Yeah.
[1806.6s] That's what I thought too.
[1808.0s] So long ago, there was so much goblin chat.
[1811.6s] They're not going to expect this though.
[1813.7s] Right.
[1814.0s] Losing my shit over here.
[1815.8s] They'll never go through that way.
[1817.6s] Is what the goblins are saying.
[1821.6s] And boy, would they be wrong.
[1824.0s] So I was just standing there like, I didn't prepare the grease spell.
[1826.7s] So that's, that's out.
[1827.9s] That's on you.
[1828.5s] That's on you.
[1830.1s] Okay.
[1830.5s] We're, we're doing it.
[1831.5s] We're committing to the bit.
[1832.7s] Yeah.
[1839.2s] Dumbgeons and Dragons season three, episode 16, starring Amy More as
[1844.1s] Alydin, Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane, Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave,
[1849.1s] Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard with special guest, Joe Fisher from
[1853.4s] Midnight Burger as Rin Kip Celador and Russ More as your dungeon master.
[1858.0s] Dialogue editing by Carla Maxted and sound design by Russ More.
[1862.2s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and Slipstream and
[1866.0s] sound effects from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
[1870.3s] Our amazing cover art and character designs are by Matt Garbutt and a
[1874.0s] huge thank you to our supporting producers, Gabriel Lynch, Jessica
[1877.5s] Babiak, Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Christian Brown, Angaron
[1881.6s] Kierzen, Perry Matey, Craig Zeiss, Old School Gamer D, L.A.
[1886.1s] Branton, Nathaniel Teeter and Aaron.
[1888.6s] If you enjoy the adventure that you're listening to, we'd love for
[1892.1s] you to join us over on Patreon.
[1894.1s] Why?
[1894.6s] Well, because you get to spend more time with us and we get to
[1897.1s] spend time with you.
[1898.0s] It's what we love most about doing this whole, this whole thing
[1901.5s] that we call Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[1904.6s] And when I, when I say you get more of us, like there's a
[1906.8s] whole other show, The Adventures of, where we're running a different
[1910.4s] campaign, DM'd by Tom, Kyle is starting to run us through a
[1915.2s] cyberpunk red campaign.
[1917.0s] There's the downtime episodes.
[1918.6s] There's hangouts.
[1919.4s] There's so much happening.
[1920.6s] You can take part in some, take part in all.
[1922.9s] We suggest most of it, but you do you.
[1925.3s] Patreon.com slash dump drag guest.
[1926.9s] We'll see you over there.
[1927.8s] All right, everybody have a great week and we'll talk to you soon.
[1930.1s] Bye.
[1934.2s] This is all stuff I'm supposed to know, right?
[1935.6s] I'm not doing this wrong.
[1936.5s] This is correct.
[1937.0s] Make it up.
[1937.7s] What was the settlement called?
[1940.5s] It was called, it was called Lingersville.
[1943.0s] Yeah.
[1944.2s] How big is that hole?
[1945.8s] Not big.
[1957.6s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.