[0.0s] Sit there, just wait a second, Dumbgeons and Dragons will be back in just a moment.
[3.8s] Hey friends, it's me your Dungeon Master Russ More, I hope you're having a wonderful
[7.2s] day and are excited for this week's episode, starting with a little bit of a different
[11.7s] intro because we are playing a different game for today's session but it's still
[17.5s] all very connected to the story so you don't want to miss it and in fact you
[21.8s] want to listen to the end to perhaps find out where a certain character has
[25.1s] been for the last little while.
[27.1s] We are playing Goblin Punks by Grant Howitt.
[31.2s] It's a lovely little one-shot game that is helping us build out the world of
[36.6s] Vintersmouth and surrounding area.
[39.7s] So Goblin Punks, what is it?
[42.0s] You're a scrappy little goblin punk.
[44.4s] Your mom and dad want you to stay in the grotto and harvest
[47.3s] mushrooms, but to hell with that, it's time for an adventure.
[51.3s] In today's session, Amy and Carl and I walk through a game of Goblin Punks
[54.8s] and have just the best time laughing our asses off throughout the entire thing.
[59.9s] It's a D6 game, so you'll hear us referring to very similar things to if
[63.4s] you've heard Powered by the Apocalypse games.
[66.0s] When you roll a D6, a one to three is a failure, a four to five is a mix
[69.9s] success, and a six is you do the thing.
[72.6s] And there's also what's called shame and trouble.
[74.9s] When you fail, you can get shame and or trouble, which can send your character
[79.9s] out of the game if you reach a five in either shame or trouble.
[85.0s] There's also a mechanic called Goblin Slang.
[87.7s] So we came up with different things that goblins would say within this world.
[91.3s] And every time a character uses one of those Goblin Slang, they get a token,
[95.6s] which is essentially advantage on a roll.
[98.6s] We have a lot of fun.
[100.0s] Look down in the description.
[101.7s] There's a link to go get your own copy of Goblin Punks and
[105.4s] play it around your table.
[107.0s] One other thing to know is that the downtime this week will be the
[109.7s] set up for the game.
[110.8s] Usually these one shots, there's a bit of set up off the top.
[113.6s] And then you jump into the game because it's all improv.
[115.8s] It's all coming up with it on the spot.
[117.4s] So that will be in the downtime.
[118.6s] And you can get that at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[121.9s] Join us at any tier and you get those down times every week right
[124.7s] along with your episode.
[126.0s] OK, let's get to it.
[127.4s] Goblin Punks, baby.
[130.9s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[132.7s] We're normally a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast.
[135.5s] But today we're playing Goblin Punks.
[138.2s] I'm your game master, Russ More.
[140.1s] He him.
[140.9s] Also with me today is Amy More.
[142.9s] She her as racer.
[144.7s] He him.
[145.4s] It's boring at this point, but I mean, we can't let them
[147.9s] win Battle of the Bands again.
[149.0s] So.
[149.5s] And Carla Maxton is chains.
[151.8s] She her.
[152.6s] You thought it was one of those candy ones, hey?
[154.5s] Like one of those ones you can.
[157.1s] Join us today at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast,
[159.9s] where you can hear the whole set up to this Goblin Punks
[162.4s] game, which was a lot of fun.
[164.1s] And we highly suggest you get it.
[165.4s] Don't forget to check down in the description where you
[167.8s] too can be playing Goblin Punks.
[170.5s] You just have to go support Grant Howitt.
[172.3s] And we all love to support Grant Howitt, right?
[175.5s] Now, fuck it.
[176.5s] Let's play.
[185.7s] It's a beautiful sunny day in the town of Vintersmouth.
[190.5s] And we see the bakers and the candlestick makers
[194.2s] and all of the artisans down the main thoroughfare.
[197.2s] Just having the most wonderful time.
[199.8s] And then the camera pans up and out and over the city
[203.1s] and follows us down deep through the verboten forest,
[208.5s] winding through all the trees,
[210.1s] through deep canals and dry river beds
[212.8s] to a cavern that opens up somewhere untraveled
[218.2s] by the locals in Vintersmouth.
[222.3s] And we hear the sound of hammering
[226.6s] and stones hitting each other and a low rumble of voices.
[232.9s] And as we go deeper into this cave
[235.2s] that burrows deep within the earth itself,
[239.3s] we come upon the goblin village of Slankston,
[243.1s] deep within the verboten forest.
[245.8s] Very similar to Vintersmouth, the goblins
[249.0s] are moving about, passing about the toads and mushrooms
[256.4s] that they grow under the earth,
[260.2s] flipping through and really just tossing to the ground
[264.4s] various pieces of paper that they've picked up
[267.0s] along their travels.
[268.7s] We make it behind the local convenience store.
[273.4s] Yeah, there we go.
[275.6s] Out by the dumpster, we find chains and racer.
[282.2s] Not spelled the way you think it is.
[284.7s] You both have been given the task of picking mushrooms,
[289.1s] harvesting mushrooms by your mom and dad.
[291.9s] The last thing you both remember as you left your home
[295.9s] and slammed the door behind you in a huff
[299.3s] was your respective mother and or father screaming,
[303.4s] and don't come home until you've harvested
[306.2s] every single last mushroom.
[308.8s] Ah!
[311.0s] They both grumble like that too.
[312.8s] Ah!
[313.8s] Ah!
[317.3s] Well, so like, I am definitely not
[321.9s] going to pick mushrooms today.
[323.0s] I mean, right?
[323.9s] We're not.
[324.7s] Jace always picks them anyway.
[326.8s] Let's just steal them out of his bucket.
[328.3s] Yes, I was thinking the exact same thing.
[330.7s] Plus, I got this from my older brother.
[334.2s] What you got there?
[335.0s] Glug, glug, glug, glug.
[336.0s] Glug, glug, glug?
[337.0s] I made a little, you know, little mix, found some bottles,
[341.3s] poured them all into another bottle.
[343.9s] So also I took this, which could be like,
[348.3s] this is goblin weed.
[350.1s] Obviously, look at it.
[350.9s] I mean, we know what goblin weed looks like.
[353.6s] So this is it.
[355.5s] Very distinct smell.
[357.7s] Exactly, that I totally know about
[360.1s] from all of my weed that I do.
[363.5s] Yeah, man.
[365.0s] So no mushroom picking.
[368.1s] No.
[369.0s] There's nobody here, which is crazy.
[370.6s] This is usually where everybody is,
[372.6s] outside this convenience store drinking, for some reason.
[377.7s] Well, I mean, last time we were here,
[379.4s] there was that guy who bought me a Popsie.
[383.1s] So that was kind of nice, but.
[384.6s] It was great.
[385.4s] I mean, they do have that thing.
[386.9s] Like, can you hear that?
[387.9s] That like, it's playing.
[392.7s] Just trying like, I think they think we hate it.
[395.7s] But like, I don't even, it doesn't even bother me.
[397.9s] I didn't even notice.
[398.7s] It's that weird, high-pitched.
[400.2s] You know what, though?
[401.0s] My ears are superior to other ears.
[404.4s] I'm pretty sure.
[405.9s] Right.
[406.8s] Wouldn't that mean you could hear it, then?
[408.3s] Well, yeah, but I mean, like, I can block things out.
[412.1s] Like, better than other people can, so.
[417.7s] I can't block that out.
[420.2s] Hey.
[421.0s] You turn, and you look, and you see your friend?
[425.5s] Do teens really have friends?
[427.2s] Yeah, you see your fellow teen, Dean,
[431.1s] walk around the corner?
[433.0s] Dean the teen?
[434.3s] They are sobbing.
[436.7s] Dean looks more so unkempt,
[439.5s] like he's been dragged through the mud,
[441.4s] or pushed down a lot,
[444.4s] and he comes around the corner, just sobbing,
[446.7s] just holding in his hand a single goblin cigarette,
[450.5s] which is unlit.
[451.7s] Oh.
[453.0s] Oh, man, do you need a light, man?
[454.9s] You okay?
[456.1s] No, I just hold it,
[458.8s] because it looks cool.
[461.3s] It does look cool.
[462.1s] It's for the look, you just bite it,
[463.7s] you don't light it.
[465.1s] Yeah, I'm just really glad to see you both.
[467.9s] Why are you crying, man?
[469.1s] Get us together.
[469.9s] Yeah, what's up?
[470.7s] It's so not cool.
[471.6s] The cope, the cope,
[473.7s] the cope, the cobalt's been,
[477.1s] they're just causing trouble.
[479.5s] Oh.
[480.9s] Jackasses again.
[481.7s] I fricking hate those guys.
[484.0s] I was just out harvesting,
[485.9s] I mean, not harvesting mushrooms,
[487.8s] like my mom and dad said,
[489.2s] I was doing bad teenager things,
[493.7s] like all the cool teenagers do,
[496.3s] and then they came up,
[498.1s] and they were like, give us your mushrooms,
[500.7s] and I said, I don't,
[501.7s] because I wasn't picking them, clearly,
[503.7s] but then they took them,
[505.1s] the ones that I didn't have,
[506.9s] and pushed me to the ground,
[509.5s] and rubbed my face in it,
[510.9s] and said, well, if you want them back,
[513.6s] come to the Haunted Mansion,
[515.7s] you know the mansion,
[516.7s] the one built by Sir Alfred Hauntington.
[521.2s] That place, yeah.
[522.7s] Yeah.
[523.5s] Yeah, I've been there like a ton of times,
[525.1s] it's like not even scary, right?
[526.4s] A million times, it's boring now,
[528.3s] but like. No problem.
[530.1s] Also like, fuck those cobalts, am I right?
[533.2s] Yeah.
[534.1s] Yeah, like Hiv and Nod and Deck and Tusk,
[536.8s] they were all there,
[537.7s] and they not only took the mushrooms,
[540.2s] but they took my prized horn.
[543.1s] How's your band gonna play
[544.2s] if you don't have your horn?
[545.1s] Oh my goodness, slap of the horn.
[547.2s] It's Battle of the Bands next week, man,
[548.9s] you gotta get that back.
[549.7s] I know. You gotta get that back,
[551.1s] because everyone's counting on you to win,
[553.0s] because what if the cobalt band wins?
[555.5s] God, they can't win, man,
[556.6s] you can't let that happen. The cobalt band
[557.6s] wins every year.
[559.7s] Well, it's because they beat everybody else up.
[562.1s] Hey. Huh?
[563.7s] What if we beat them up
[566.9s] and took their instruments?
[568.9s] Then, vengeance.
[571.2s] Vengeance? Also,
[573.2s] we don't have to listen to their shitty pop music.
[575.7s] They're gonna play at the Battle of the Bands and win.
[578.5s] Hell yeah, that's fucking schlank, man.
[580.3s] Let's do that.
[581.2s] God.
[582.0s] I was bored, anyway.
[582.8s] So you're gonna come
[583.8s] and you're gonna help me beat them up,
[585.7s] and then?
[587.1s] Yeah, I mean, are you gonna help?
[588.6s] Yeah, yeah, fuck.
[589.5s] You can't throw a punch worth anything, man.
[591.9s] Well, not when there's a lot of them,
[594.3s] but maybe when it's a little more equal.
[596.9s] How many more of them?
[598.6s] Well, just the four I mentioned.
[600.7s] All right.
[601.7s] Okay.
[603.0s] Three on four, three against four.
[604.4s] We can take on four, three on four.
[606.7s] I once hit Jemmold so hard, all his teeth fell out.
[612.7s] He wasn't at school for like two weeks.
[616.7s] It was embarrassing for him.
[617.5s] That's Frank's balls, man.
[618.9s] You knocked Jemmold's teeth out, wow.
[621.8s] Oh yeah, one punch, one punch.
[624.0s] One punch? He was down.
[625.7s] Wow.
[626.8s] Well, I mean, Dek and Tusk, you know them.
[629.0s] They're really small kobolds.
[630.8s] Maybe I could punch them both at the same time.
[633.2s] You stack them up for me.
[634.0s] Punch them at the same time.
[634.8s] I hit one in the face.
[635.7s] Bam, bam.
[636.5s] The back of their head hits the other one
[637.3s] in the face behind him.
[638.7s] They both fall down.
[639.9s] Yeah, okay.
[641.1s] Yeah, and I could stand behind one of them.
[643.7s] Maybe the one after, the one that gets hit
[646.3s] with the head, and then I trip him.
[650.1s] Yeah, remember when we used to go sit
[653.7s] behind somebody, like crouch down,
[655.4s] and one of us would shove the other one over?
[657.0s] I like that.
[657.9s] Let's do that too.
[658.7s] Yeah, let's get that in there.
[660.4s] They're gonna be so embarrassed.
[661.7s] They're not gonna be able to show their faces.
[664.0s] And like,
[666.5s] Japt and Caxparo is the best at creating a distraction.
[670.2s] No, he is. You know you are.
[671.9s] Oh, so we need that.
[675.6s] That was a new one, man.
[677.0s] This bird's making all the noises
[678.4s] like I hadn't even heard before.
[679.9s] That's Frank's balls, man.
[682.0s] Okay, well, let's go get him.
[683.6s] I've got my lantern.
[685.1s] See, it's a fancy lantern.
[686.9s] Oh, that'll help us see in the Haunting Mansion.
[690.3s] And I've got one goblin cigarette
[692.5s] so we can make them think that we belong there.
[695.2s] Man, we do belong there.
[696.6s] Well, I mean, I've got this, one glug glug,
[699.7s] and this bag of goblin weed.
[701.9s] I've got this, and I whip out a pocket.
[705.2s] This feels like the really serious situation
[707.5s] like in a teen movie where others are just ready
[710.6s] to go fight and then one guy takes it too far.
[712.7s] That's me.
[713.5s] Wow, wow, okay, racer.
[715.7s] Yeah. Well.
[716.9s] I mean, I got this rope.
[717.9s] We could probably do something with that too.
[720.2s] Okay, we got it.
[721.0s] I like this, we're spitting it out.
[722.5s] I love it.
[723.6s] We've got a plan.
[725.0s] We've got a team.
[726.1s] I've got friends.
[727.2s] And maybe, maybe we'll get my horn back.
[732.5s] We have to.
[733.4s] It sounds good, but man.
[734.2s] Out of all the bands.
[735.0s] Don't say things like I've got friends.
[736.0s] That's so lame.
[737.1s] I didn't say that part out loud, did I?
[739.7s] Yep.
[740.5s] Yeah, everybody heard it.
[741.7s] Oh, that was supposed to be my inside full.
[743.5s] Shame.
[744.3s] Hm.
[745.2s] Okay, we cut to the haunted mansion built by
[757.2s] Sir Alfred Haunted.
[758.9s] There is a commemorative plaque out front
[761.9s] of the haunted mansion.
[763.5s] Of course, this picture of this mansion
[765.6s] that we see before us.
[767.5s] It is also underground, but set far away.
[773.2s] Because Sir Alfred Haunted was a goblin.
[776.9s] Was a goblin, yes.
[777.9s] So it's underground like the rest of our.
[779.5s] Yeah.
[780.3s] Yeah, makes total sense.
[781.9s] So it's set farther away from Slankston
[785.4s] in the mossy grove on the outskirts.
[792.2s] That also grows putrid mushroom caps.
[797.1s] Not the ones you're supposed to be harvesting.
[799.1s] The putrid ones.
[800.2s] Okay, so they're probably in there.
[807.2s] You said you've been in there before, right?
[809.4s] Yeah, like a million times.
[811.1s] Like so many times.
[812.2s] So it's not even scary.
[813.5s] It's like, whatever.
[814.3s] It's boring at this point.
[815.1s] It's fine.
[816.0s] Yeah, it's boring.
[816.8s] I mean, we can't let them win Battle of the Bands
[818.5s] again, so.
[820.9s] Yeah.
[821.8s] So.
[822.7s] Right.
[823.5s] Yeah.
[824.3s] Here we go.
[825.2s] Here we go.
[826.0s] Okay, yep.
[826.8s] We're all moving forward.
[827.7s] Here we go.
[828.5s] One more time.
[830.2s] Yep.
[831.1s] I'm the only one taking steps.
[832.7s] Yeah, you're doing it great.
[833.6s] You know, you've been in there a whole bunch, so.
[835.4s] Yeah, it's really good.
[836.3s] Yeah, perfect, okay.
[837.1s] It's like the first time you step inside
[840.7s] is pretty incredible.
[842.0s] So we kind of want you to like get the chance
[845.8s] to experience that without us
[847.6s] like barreling in all casually, right?
[850.3s] Yeah, yeah.
[851.2s] Good point, Chains.
[852.0s] Good point.
[852.8s] Yeah, no, that's, yeah, it's untainted
[856.4s] without the description of what's gonna happen
[859.2s] on the other side.
[860.0s] Okay, I've got it.
[860.9s] I've got it, everybody.
[862.7s] This is small timid footsteps.
[866.7s] Moving up the wooden staircase
[869.5s] and he gets to the top
[871.5s] and like one of the boards crunches beneath Dean
[874.9s] and he kind of takes a couple steps back
[878.2s] and then looks back at you.
[880.2s] I said, I said.
[884.1s] That wasn't like the cool thing.
[885.8s] That was just like some old wood.
[888.5s] But you jumped like 100 feet from here, man.
[890.9s] Okay, yeah, no, I was just,
[893.0s] I was just showing you how to be safe
[895.1s] on a broken plank of wood.
[898.1s] Did you pee a little bit, is that?
[900.0s] That's just, that's just,
[901.6s] I slipped in the mossy grove.
[904.6s] It's just the putrid mushrooms,
[906.5s] I thought maybe.
[907.3s] At least they're spores as we walked by.
[911.3s] Yeah, he waves his cigarette at you
[913.9s] and takes a few more steps up to the door
[917.3s] and reaches his hand up as if going to knock.
[921.0s] Okay, but, dude.
[923.9s] What?
[925.7s] Well, we're going to go in to beat up the cobalt.
[928.1s] Right.
[929.0s] You're gonna announce your arrival.
[929.8s] Hey, we're here to beat you up.
[930.7s] Okay.
[931.5s] And you knock like they're gonna be like,
[933.1s] we're not home.
[934.3s] Right, okay.
[935.6s] Yeah, so.
[936.6s] Yeah, no, so just open the doors quietly.
[939.6s] Yeah.
[940.5s] He reaches for the handle
[941.5s] and gives it a soft push and it.
[944.4s] Ooh.
[950.5s] Step in.
[951.6s] Takes a step inside.
[953.5s] Oh.
[957.1s] Hello?
[958.0s] Oh my God.
[959.0s] No.
[960.0s] Did we just say not to announce ourselves?
[961.3s] Oh, sorry.
[962.3s] Sorry, okay.
[963.1s] Whatever, the whole house is heard us at this point.
[964.9s] Come on.
[965.7s] Well, I don't hear anybody other than myself.
[968.0s] I mean.
[968.9s] You're speaking really loudly.
[969.7s] Not gonna worry about,
[970.5s] we're just here to drink our booze.
[973.3s] Smoke our weed.
[974.2s] Definitely goblin weed that I have.
[977.7s] That is definitely goblin weed.
[979.6s] So that's all we're doing here.
[981.7s] Dean takes a few more steps inside.
[983.9s] I assume at this point you're following.
[985.9s] Oh yes, yeah.
[986.7s] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[987.6s] Gotta usher him in and pull him inside
[989.5s] and inside you see it's a grand goblin mansion,
[997.2s] which to me means it's like eight foot ceilings,
[1001.5s] which are very tall for a goblin.
[1003.6s] Yeah, vaulted ceilings.
[1006.0s] And they have worn and water damaged
[1009.5s] like paintings and wallpaper all over.
[1013.5s] And by wallpaper I mean it's newspaper
[1016.8s] that has just been paper mached to the wall.
[1021.3s] You take a few steps inside
[1023.3s] and the door stays open behind you.
[1027.3s] As doors do.
[1028.2s] As doors do.
[1029.5s] Yeah, I mean it's good they built this house
[1031.7s] like Mr. Haunted, sorry, built this house really good.
[1036.3s] There's not even like, it's all square.
[1038.9s] The door doesn't just swing shut by itself.
[1041.3s] Unusual for goblin construction.
[1044.5s] I mean it's hard to build
[1045.8s] like something so majestic underground like this.
[1048.9s] So it's good workmanship.
[1051.7s] Earth shifting.
[1053.6s] Yeah.
[1054.4s] You take a few more steps in
[1055.9s] and there's a living room area
[1059.7s] that has old furniture that has fabrics draped
[1063.6s] over top of it and a rustic fireplace
[1068.5s] set inside this living room.
[1071.7s] You stop and listen for a moment
[1074.0s] and you hear from somewhere back at the,
[1078.5s] in the back of the house,
[1080.0s] you hear some clanging noise.
[1081.9s] Clang, clang, it's the middle.
[1086.9s] Hey friends, this is The Middle and it's me
[1089.3s] hanging out with you here, having a great time.
[1091.4s] Thank you so much for being here.
[1093.5s] Big shout out to Grant Howitt for creating Goblin Ponks.
[1096.2s] That's the game we're playing and it's a lot of fun.
[1099.4s] It's always fun just to throw in a short one shot
[1103.1s] of some sort that's different from what you're usually
[1105.4s] playing with your friends around the table.
[1108.1s] If you don't do it a lot, I highly recommend it.
[1111.4s] I highly recommend it.
[1112.9s] It breaks you out of any routine that you've got going on,
[1118.5s] gives you some time to just be fun and be goofy
[1121.7s] and try some different game mechanics
[1123.8s] and try and focus on some different characters and growth.
[1127.0s] And we did that for this one.
[1128.6s] We actually recorded this one quite some time ago
[1131.4s] and I wasn't sure if we were gonna release it.
[1136.9s] It was supposed to be some between season content
[1139.4s] gearing up for the new season.
[1141.8s] Hung onto it thinking, well, now's not the right time.
[1144.8s] And then this little split of the party happened
[1150.3s] and feels like once you listen to the end of the episode
[1154.4s] it's gonna make a little more sense
[1155.8s] but felt really good to fit here.
[1158.3s] So I don't know if I've said it already
[1160.6s] but go support Grant Howitt.
[1161.9s] There's a link down in the description.
[1162.9s] You can go pick up Goblin Ponks
[1164.7s] and see all their other one shots
[1166.4s] that they have going on over there.
[1168.3s] Amazing.
[1169.3s] What do I got next?
[1170.6s] Next week and the week after we have a very special guest.
[1174.7s] Joe Fisher, creator, writer, actor,
[1179.1s] extraordinaire from Midnight Burger will be joining us.
[1182.8s] We're all very excited.
[1184.8s] Joe's a good friend of the show and my own
[1187.1s] and graciously said that they would come play with us
[1190.3s] even though they haven't played D&D since he was 14.
[1192.2s] So I said, you're gonna fit right in.
[1193.7s] Don't worry about it.
[1194.9s] So that will be coming up next week.
[1197.7s] And while you wait for that,
[1198.7s] we wanna let you know about a show
[1201.2s] who are re-releasing their first season.
[1205.4s] It's The Wizard Scroll,
[1206.5s] a sword and sorcery sci-fi narrative
[1208.7s] that you I think are really gonna love.
[1211.3s] It's very different from a lot of things.
[1214.0s] It's a scripted fiction podcast.
[1216.1s] The creator Chris, he's taken a look at his first season
[1220.2s] and wanted to reimagine it as a dedication to his craft.
[1225.3s] It's a serialized series of short stories
[1227.6s] set in a fantastical realm of Jurgsland.
[1231.5s] Tales of legendary sword wielding warriors
[1234.2s] set adrift through time and space.
[1236.7s] A wannabe spell caster trying to learn the art
[1240.2s] of the arcane and even a couple of orcs
[1243.3s] who don't play by nobody's rules.
[1246.4s] I've listened to several episodes of The Wizard Scroll
[1248.9s] and think you're really gonna enjoy it.
[1250.7s] It's got great sound and music and acting
[1253.3s] and I think there's something
[1254.5s] that everybody will find to enjoy.
[1256.6s] The Wizard Scroll is available on Apple, Spotify,
[1259.5s] anywhere you listen to, find podcasts
[1262.3s] and new episode of the season one redone.
[1265.7s] Great place to start.
[1267.2s] Are being released every Saturday morning.
[1269.3s] So you don't have to wait long
[1270.4s] to hear that next installment.
[1271.6s] Go check it out.
[1272.4s] It's The Wizard Scroll.
[1273.3s] Now let's get you back to goblin punks.
[1274.9s] Okay, talk to you soon.
[1276.3s] Bye.
[1282.2s] Aren't you guys, we should probably think of a plan.
[1285.5s] Yeah.
[1286.3s] I just want to go in guns a blazing,
[1288.5s] but like I want to make sure everyone gets a taste.
[1291.3s] Yeah, they'll be super intimidated by us,
[1293.9s] but like, yeah, maybe just like sneak a little closer
[1298.7s] to just like kind of suss out the situation,
[1302.7s] like what kind of like weapons they have,
[1306.3s] where the instruments are that we definitely
[1308.4s] want to destroy, the one instrument
[1310.5s] we don't want to destroy and like retrieve.
[1313.9s] Just like observe, you know,
[1316.2s] just like live in that moment for a minute
[1318.4s] and see what they're doing.
[1319.4s] Super deep, man.
[1321.2s] Wow. That's real deep, Chance.
[1322.6s] Yeah, thanks.
[1324.2s] So should we go to where the noises are coming from?
[1328.1s] Duh. Okay.
[1329.3s] Yeah, unless, wait, you didn't say,
[1331.6s] were they silent kobolds that beat you up?
[1335.2s] Oh no, they were quite rambunctious and verbose.
[1339.0s] Okay.
[1339.8s] That's a word I've heard.
[1341.5s] Anything specific that they said
[1343.1s] that you'd like to share?
[1344.7s] They said-
[1345.5s] Anything verbose they said?
[1348.8s] They said, hey, Dean, eat shit.
[1354.1s] Yeah, it sounds like them.
[1355.4s] And then they said, hey, Dean,
[1357.6s] we're taking your mushrooms and we're gonna eat them all.
[1361.7s] Yeah.
[1362.5s] And then they pushed me down.
[1364.8s] Kobolds are stupid, I guess.
[1366.6s] Kobolds are stupid, stupid.
[1368.4s] I don't even know why I was so scared of them
[1370.2s] when they came upon me, all four of them,
[1372.4s] just out of the blue.
[1374.6s] Too bad I was working by myself.
[1376.7s] There were supposed to be two other goblins
[1379.1s] picking mushrooms this morning.
[1381.0s] Yeah, I heard there were toads around,
[1382.3s] so I was looking for those instead.
[1384.5s] Oh, it was supposed to be you?
[1386.4s] No.
[1387.6s] Oh, okay.
[1388.7s] Unrelated. Unrelated, of course.
[1390.2s] Yeah, no, you two were off today, it's okay.
[1393.3s] Begin walking towards the back
[1394.8s] and there is a stairwell that goes up one floor
[1398.3s] and then a door that's cracked open
[1401.2s] and then there's a soft light that's emanating out.
[1406.7s] And for anyone who's actually been there,
[1409.0s] you would know that this is the stairwell to the basement.
[1414.7s] I think that the noise is coming from downstairs.
[1419.9s] Yeah, Razor, can you use those extra awesome ears
[1423.0s] you have to locate it because you've got those good ears?
[1427.2s] I mean, I totally can,
[1428.0s] but Japtun can probably just fly down there
[1432.9s] to see what's up.
[1434.4s] Obviously, Japtun.
[1435.7s] All right, do it.
[1437.4s] Go for Japtun.
[1438.4s] Japtun flies down the stairs and disappears from sight.
[1444.8s] He'll just be like a second.
[1447.2s] Yeah, you guys want some of this?
[1449.0s] Yeah, sure.
[1449.9s] A little liquid courage.
[1452.2s] Anybody want to hold my cigarette?
[1453.7s] Yeah, hold on, let me have both.
[1455.1s] Let me have both.
[1457.0s] Oh. Right?
[1457.8s] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1459.2s] That was good.
[1460.7s] You look really good.
[1462.0s] Yeah, it's real strong.
[1463.6s] That's how I like it.
[1464.4s] You're not supposed to eat the cigarette.
[1468.7s] You thought it was one of those candy ones, hey?
[1470.6s] Like one of those ones you can...
[1472.1s] Yeah, yeah.
[1472.9s] No, it's a lot more real than I thought it was.
[1475.4s] That's a real one.
[1476.9s] Here, you can have back what's left of it.
[1478.6s] Oh, thanks.
[1479.4s] I'm just gonna wash it down with...
[1480.5s] I'm just gonna try and just patch it back up here.
[1483.6s] Guys, I'm so disappointed.
[1484.8s] I just realized I have this big bag of goblin weed,
[1488.4s] but I don't have any, you know...
[1492.6s] The rolly things.
[1494.5s] We don't have any rolly things,
[1495.6s] so we can't even smoke it.
[1498.8s] As research has proved...
[1499.6s] I hear you can eat it, though.
[1501.6s] I hear you can.
[1502.4s] Yeah, you could.
[1503.3s] Here's your seat.
[1504.5s] You want some?
[1505.4s] Well, no chains.
[1506.2s] I mean, it's yours.
[1507.0s] I would feel real bad taking the first bite, so...
[1509.2s] I mean, I just had a really big meal, so...
[1512.2s] Well, we can do it later.
[1513.0s] It could be a celebratory thing.
[1514.0s] We'll just do it later.
[1514.9s] Yeah, we'll just do it later after we...
[1517.7s] You hear a creaking noise from up above you,
[1520.9s] and you look up, and there's a chandelier
[1524.7s] that is swaying above you,
[1528.9s] and you hear the sound of rope tearing.
[1535.1s] And it begins to fall towards you.
[1537.1s] Fuck, I jump out of the way.
[1539.7s] Yeah, gonna jump out of the way.
[1541.3s] You're gonna try to jump out of the way.
[1542.7s] Everybody roll a D6.
[1544.7s] I wanna swing, fuck, from the chandelier.
[1551.8s] I rolled a net one.
[1553.7s] Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
[1556.3s] Damn it.
[1557.2s] I rolled a four.
[1558.0s] The second one today.
[1560.3s] Okay, so four.
[1562.2s] So as the chandelier's falling, Dean got a six,
[1567.3s] because of course he did.
[1568.2s] Of course he did.
[1569.1s] So Dean launches himself out of the way.
[1571.6s] Chains, you get out of the way.
[1574.4s] Wait, wait, I have a token for using cool slang.
[1578.2s] Oh, then you could roll a secondary die
[1580.6s] and spend your token.
[1582.0s] What was it?
[1582.8s] Is that on my site?
[1583.7s] A three, that's no better.
[1586.6s] I still don't do the thing.
[1588.3s] Yeah, you spent a token,
[1589.5s] and you still also don't do the thing.
[1594.2s] Okay, so chains, you jump out of the way.
[1596.8s] You make it just in the nick of time,
[1598.6s] but you do so, and I feel like this is like
[1603.8s] a you're embarrassed in front of the others
[1605.9s] because you were probably one of the first
[1608.2s] to move out of the way,
[1609.2s] and you've been playing it real cool.
[1610.6s] So I'm gonna give you plus one shame for that.
[1614.8s] Yep.
[1616.6s] And as Dean and Chains turn around and look,
[1621.2s] Racer is underneath this chandelier
[1625.4s] that has fallen down on top of you, wood splintered.
[1628.9s] You've got bits of wood sticking out of your legs
[1632.8s] as you are trying to push it off of you.
[1636.6s] I'm gonna say that's gonna be an unwanted attention
[1639.5s] that's gonna happen there,
[1640.9s] and a plus one trouble for you.
[1643.6s] Plus one trouble?
[1644.8s] Yeah.
[1646.0s] And how much shame am I doing?
[1648.4s] Well, you only get one or the other.
[1649.9s] You can take another shame if you want to,
[1651.7s] but that means you get to go home earlier.
[1653.7s] No, I'm good.
[1655.2s] Guys, I thought that was gonna be a lot lighter.
[1658.4s] I was gonna catch it midair.
[1660.2s] Are you okay?
[1661.0s] No, I'm fine.
[1661.9s] Are you okay?
[1663.3s] No, I'm good.
[1664.2s] You need to go home?
[1665.4s] No, I don't need to go home.
[1667.2s] You know what, it's gonna be-
[1668.2s] Just saying, it's like,
[1669.5s] ah, chandelier fell on me, I need to go home.
[1672.2s] Like, you know, some people need to go home
[1674.4s] when a chandelier falls off, and that's fine.
[1676.1s] You know what, this is actually a really good thing
[1678.0s] because what's scarier than being beat up
[1681.4s] by someone covered in their own blood?
[1684.1s] I look badass right now, don't I?
[1686.2s] You hear from downstairs,
[1688.0s] hey, what was that?
[1689.3s] Let's go check it out.
[1690.3s] And then quick footsteps,
[1691.5s] tk tk tk tk tk tk tk, coming up the stairs.
[1693.8s] Let's get this chandelier off of you, they're coming.
[1696.9s] Okay, get ready, grab your knife.
[1698.7s] Jap didn't cack, comes back like,
[1700.9s] I think like four seconds before the kobolds do,
[1704.5s] and I was, dude, that was fucking useless.
[1707.6s] They're coming.
[1708.7s] Thanks.
[1711.2s] The door bursts open and there are four kobolds
[1714.7s] who you recognize as Hiv, Nod, Deck, and Tuss.
[1718.1s] And they are all decked out
[1720.2s] in their Battle of the Bands garb,
[1722.7s] which is the slickest of leathers
[1726.0s] with studs all over it,
[1728.6s] and chains hanging from the pockets
[1732.6s] and wallets that they have.
[1735.8s] And one of them has a sweet ax strapped to his back.
[1740.8s] An actual ax, not a guitar, obviously.
[1744.5s] And they say, what are you doing here?
[1746.3s] We pushed you down and we took your mushrooms.
[1748.0s] We've been having a great time.
[1749.3s] Just getting ready.
[1750.4s] Just getting ready for Battle of the Bands.
[1752.4s] Yeah, your horn is gonna sound real good
[1754.6s] after you see what was stuffed inside it.
[1756.5s] Ha ha ha ha ha.
[1758.5s] Ah, shit, it's shit we stuffed inside of his horn.
[1762.2s] Chains, take a look at that.
[1764.4s] Aren't pocket wallet chains, like, out?
[1768.8s] So embarrassing.
[1769.9s] What do you need to hold on to, your babysitting money?
[1771.9s] You borrowed that from your dad?
[1773.4s] What is that?
[1774.8s] Yeah, I know, it's totally badass, right, Nod?
[1778.5s] Oh yeah, yeah, it's totally badass.
[1780.4s] They don't know what they're talking about.
[1781.5s] Goblins are 10 years behind the times.
[1785.6s] I'd say it's as totally badass
[1788.5s] as your little acapella singing group
[1791.3s] that you do at Battle of the Bands,
[1793.1s] which doesn't even make sense.
[1795.7s] Yeah, it's weird, you guys don't even have instruments.
[1797.6s] You just, like, barbershop quartet your way to victory?
[1800.5s] And yet we win every time, am I right?
[1803.6s] And they all high-five each other.
[1804.6s] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we win every time.
[1807.3s] So our parents pay off the judges, it's fine.
[1810.2s] We win every time.
[1811.0s] Oh, they called it, called it.
[1812.2s] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1813.4s] So you can be on your way.
[1815.6s] We're gonna get back to practice-ling.
[1817.6s] Do, do, me, me, re, fa, sol, la, ti, bo.
[1821.0s] Oh, fuck, this guy's winning
[1822.0s] and he's saying things like practice-ling.
[1823.6s] Practice-ling.
[1825.0s] I wanna take out my animal skull,
[1828.6s] which is a cat skull.
[1832.0s] Okay.
[1832.8s] And, I mean, we're at the top of the stairs, yes.
[1836.6s] They've come up the stairs.
[1837.7s] They've come up the stairs,
[1838.5s] they're in the doorway or at the landing.
[1840.0s] I wanna chuck it at Dex head.
[1843.7s] Great, do you wanna roll?
[1845.1s] Yeah, not really, I don't.
[1847.2s] This dice is going away, I'm gonna try something new.
[1849.8s] All right, huh, that's a fucking three again.
[1855.5s] So you don't do nothing.
[1856.4s] That's Frank's balls, man.
[1860.1s] So you whip this cat skull
[1861.4s] and it shatters on the wall behind him.
[1863.5s] Next, that's gonna be you.
[1865.0s] What'd you do that for?
[1866.0s] It's gonna be me?
[1867.0s] My skull shattered on the back of the wall?
[1869.4s] Yeah, or at the bottom of these stairs,
[1871.1s] if you're not careful.
[1874.6s] Let's fucking rumble then.
[1876.3s] Bring it on, little bitch.
[1877.6s] Jumps at you.
[1880.0s] Let's fucking rumble.
[1881.4s] You're gonna take a plus one shame.
[1883.5s] Yeah, yeah, no, I figured.
[1885.0s] Okay, Dex jumps at you.
[1888.8s] Well, wait a minute, do I have to take plus one shame?
[1890.8s] It says plus one shame, plus one trouble,
[1892.9s] or I lose or break some equipment.
[1895.2s] Oh yeah, I guess you broke the cat's head.
[1896.8s] I did break your cat, I did break your cat, yeah.
[1900.6s] So that checks out.
[1902.9s] So Tuss has the axe,
[1905.5s] Hiv has the wallet chain.
[1909.0s] Nod and Dex are there.
[1910.2s] But Dex is jumping at you, he reaches out,
[1912.4s] grabs you by the scruff, and he begins shaking you.
[1914.9s] What do you do?
[1915.8s] Is he shaking me?
[1916.6s] Who's he shaking?
[1917.4s] He's shaking you,
[1918.3s] because you threw a cat skull at his head.
[1919.6s] Hey, stop it, and I punch him.
[1924.4s] I'm not really great with words.
[1925.6s] Roll to attack.
[1926.7s] Well, that was a one.
[1929.1s] Okay, you swing, and you punch your friend, Racer.
[1933.8s] It's like a sidestep,
[1934.9s] and then Racer gets clocked in the side of the head.
[1937.4s] Yeah, yeah.
[1938.2s] Chain the fuck, man.
[1940.0s] Help me out, yeah.
[1941.5s] Here, I'll hold him.
[1942.4s] You punch him.
[1943.2s] Shit.
[1944.0s] No, shit.
[1944.9s] Fucking slank, man, that was straight up rude.
[1947.8s] So that's gonna be a plus one shame for you, I guess.
[1950.6s] Yeah, yeah, I think it is.
[1953.5s] Dean, do something cool.
[1955.0s] Yeah, holds up his lantern,
[1956.9s] and shines the shiny part at it,
[1959.6s] and tries to blind them.
[1962.3s] I need a better dice than this, it's not great.
[1965.4s] You rolled a six on that one.
[1966.8s] I think you're fine.
[1967.7s] Okay.
[1969.4s] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
[1971.0s] That's a one.
[1972.2s] So he.
[1973.0s] Oh, we wanted Dean to do good, damn it, Russ.
[1975.2s] Amy peer pressured me into rolling it,
[1977.6s] and we're playing teens.
[1979.5s] He holds up his lantern, and then goes to open it,
[1981.8s] but opens it the wrong way, and blinds himself,
[1985.2s] and he stumbles backwards.
[1986.8s] He's gonna take a shame.
[1989.0s] Oh, God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
[1991.4s] That's right, we got you now.
[1993.4s] Bring him to the basement, boys.
[1995.0s] We'll beat them all up down there.
[1997.4s] Everybody's trying to move to grab you.
[1999.2s] I'll give you everybody an action
[2000.6s] before you get dragged down to the basement.
[2005.9s] Okay, Racer's gonna pull out his knife.
[2008.6s] He's not gonna stab anybody,
[2010.7s] but that pocket knife is coming out.
[2013.2s] Okay.
[2014.0s] And I want to intimidate them, be like,
[2015.4s] don't make me use this, man.
[2016.8s] I'll use it.
[2017.8s] It won't be the first time
[2018.7s] there's been blood on this thing.
[2020.2s] Roll to intimidate.
[2021.7s] That's fucking one.
[2023.0s] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
[2025.1s] You guys.
[2026.6s] Oh, that pocket knife, and Tuss holds out the axe.
[2031.6s] I looked down, I'm accidentally
[2032.9s] taking the corkscrew out instead.
[2035.9s] Yeah, you're gonna get all twisty up in here.
[2037.8s] Everybody down in the basement.
[2040.7s] If Dean's on the ground,
[2042.6s] then I'm gonna try and push one of them over Dean,
[2045.2s] per our earlier bless.
[2047.1s] Okay, roll with advantage.
[2050.0s] I think somebody said, shlink.
[2052.2s] Whoever said, shlink gets a token.
[2053.6s] I did say, shlink, but now we've already put
[2056.1s] the corkscrew, so it's all good.
[2058.0s] Is it a one, Karla?
[2059.6s] Guys, I rolled two dice, and I rolled a one and a two.
[2065.6s] Nailed it.
[2066.6s] Okay, great.
[2068.7s] You know what, this was us in teen years.
[2071.7s] That's awesome.
[2072.6s] What is even happening here?
[2074.3s] You tell me how that goes wrong.
[2077.1s] Well, I think I try and push him,
[2078.8s] but he probably moves, I was trying to push the one
[2080.6s] that pulled out his axe and was moving,
[2082.9s] and then I kind of go and I trip over Dean
[2086.4s] and start to kind of go down the stairs like,
[2088.4s] ah, that's pretty cool.
[2093.0s] All of them are just bent over, howling with laughter
[2097.8s] at everything that's playing out in front of them.
[2100.4s] This is not going great.
[2102.3s] They usher Dean and Racer down through the stairs
[2108.0s] and Chains, you're kind of picking yourself up
[2110.5s] at the bottom of the stairs.
[2113.3s] Don't worry, guys, I didn't break this.
[2115.2s] I pulled out my booze bottle.
[2117.4s] Everything's fine.
[2118.2s] Oh, great.
[2119.1s] Hiv walks by you and tries to snatch it.
[2122.7s] That's a six for Hiv.
[2124.2s] I'll give you a couple, if you roll a six,
[2127.1s] you get to keep it.
[2127.9s] You guys get to fight over it fairly.
[2129.7s] No, that was a four.
[2131.4s] You lose your bottle of liquor.
[2133.2s] I give him a good fight.
[2134.3s] And you also take one shot.
[2137.0s] He takes a big swig, yeah, you hear the door slam shut
[2141.8s] at the top of the stairs.
[2144.1s] And you notice that all four of them
[2145.7s] are already downstairs.
[2147.3s] And did Japtain Cat Sparrow come,
[2149.7s] he's down here with us too.
[2150.7s] He just followed along to probably laugh at us as well.
[2154.1s] Doing a great job.
[2156.4s] Frank's balls.
[2158.0s] The three of you are like thrown down to the ground
[2159.9s] and you look around and there are,
[2164.5s] there's not a lot of things.
[2165.3s] There's a couple of boxes down here.
[2167.7s] There are more bottles that are empty and tipped over.
[2171.1s] Some look like they've been spilled.
[2174.1s] And as they're all like cracking their knuckles
[2177.6s] and moving towards you to give you
[2179.2s] just the biggest of beatings,
[2182.0s] as much as a kobold can do to a goblin,
[2186.2s] you hear like this eerie sound of wind cut through.
[2193.2s] All three of you who are facing the oncoming kobolds
[2198.6s] get like a chill down your spine
[2201.3s] as you see like this eerie light begin to emanate
[2205.4s] in the middle of the room before you.
[2207.4s] What the heck is that?
[2209.4s] I mean, hell, what the hell is that?
[2211.8s] Yeah, what even is that?
[2213.6s] Oh, you're gonna try and trick us.
[2215.1s] What's that behind you?
[2216.2s] It's probably something big and scary.
[2218.3s] All right, beat them up, boys.
[2220.6s] Actually, you can roll to see if that works.
[2224.3s] Both of you can roll.
[2225.1s] I mean, I was being honest.
[2226.2s] I got a five.
[2227.0s] I still only rolled a three,
[2228.5s] so I wasn't convincing even though I was telling the truth.
[2231.4s] You weren't convincing enough to make Deck turn and look.
[2236.1s] And as Hiv and the others continue to move towards you,
[2239.7s] Deck turns around and he starts patting
[2242.2s] on the shoulder of everybody else.
[2244.1s] And it's, oh, what, what, what, what, what?
[2246.6s] And all of them turn.
[2248.4s] There's like this flash of light around it
[2250.5s] and it looks like the figure of a stout goblin
[2255.2s] with a fat stogie in his mouth.
[2259.3s] And all of them just kind of drop the things,
[2262.0s] the chains and the ax that they're holding
[2265.0s] and try to make for the stairs.
[2267.6s] I wanna try to trip them on their way.
[2269.4s] Okay, go for it.
[2270.2s] Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[2272.2s] That was a five. That was a two.
[2273.4s] Wait, I have my token.
[2274.6s] You got a token.
[2275.4s] Yeah, it's a three.
[2276.3s] So you reach out and trip
[2279.4s] and one of them just kind of steps on your ankle.
[2281.1s] Oh, fuck, Jesus.
[2283.3s] But you managed to trip.
[2284.4s] Who are you trying to trip?
[2285.5s] I don't know, one of the ones that was there.
[2287.7s] The one with the ax. Realistically.
[2290.1s] Oh yeah, that's what I meant.
[2291.4s] The one with the ax, not the weak lame one.
[2294.2s] The tough one, that's the one.
[2295.4s] So you're gonna trip Tuss.
[2297.4s] Tuss had the ax.
[2298.9s] You trip Tuss and he goes down
[2300.2s] and his friends bolt up the stairs
[2302.1s] and this ghostly figure comes down
[2305.7s] and picks the kobold up in front of you
[2308.8s] and begins shaking him.
[2311.3s] Tuss is just screaming
[2312.8s] and you see Tuss begin to release spores,
[2316.6s] I think is what Dean said.
[2318.3s] He begins to pee his pants in front of you.
[2322.6s] Oh, jeez.
[2323.4s] I mean, it's a ghost and stuff, but.
[2326.2s] You saw that, put me down, let me go.
[2329.5s] No amount of leather can cover that up, man.
[2332.3s] No.
[2333.2s] The ghost lets out this ghastly scream
[2336.2s] and rushes through the body of this kobold
[2340.0s] who collapses to the ground
[2342.4s] and he's passed out.
[2343.5s] It doesn't look like he's hurt or anything,
[2345.3s] but it looks like he just fainted.
[2348.6s] Holy crap, that was wild, oh my gosh.
[2350.8s] Yeah, I mean, fear faint,
[2351.9s] I've seen that a hundred times though.
[2353.6s] He's just scared, it's fine.
[2354.8s] I mean, this guy's like a goblin too,
[2357.0s] so he's cool, right?
[2358.2s] Yeah, are you like Mr. Haunted?
[2359.9s] Right?
[2360.7s] The ghost doesn't say anything,
[2362.6s] but begins to, he moves his face
[2365.8s] and he's got this gnarled up face,
[2368.2s] big crooked nose, what looks like a burning cigar
[2373.6s] and he goes like face to face with you
[2375.6s] and then goes back to the center of the room
[2378.2s] and just disperses.
[2379.4s] And then what light was in the room
[2382.3s] begins to come back around you.
[2387.0s] That was fucking wild, man.
[2390.7s] I mean, he was like, he's on our side though, right?
[2394.7s] So like, I feel like we won the fight
[2397.2s] because like one of them is down.
[2398.8s] Listen.
[2399.6s] And none of us are down.
[2400.8s] Three of us are here, two ran away like babies.
[2404.2s] I say we tie up their friend, drag them upstairs.
[2406.8s] You got that rope?
[2408.0s] Yeah, yeah, I got some rope.
[2409.4s] Let's take them upstairs.
[2411.5s] I'm just gonna go get my horn from the corner here.
[2414.1s] You don't wanna wash that, oh.
[2415.2s] Yeah, I mean, you're gonna need like a bag or something
[2418.2s] like you're gonna need that.
[2420.1s] I can smell from here.
[2422.1s] I'll put it in this box and he takes a box
[2424.8s] and scoops it up inside and carries the box out
[2427.7s] as you're dragging Tuss back up the stairs.
[2438.3s] We cut back to the alleyway behind the convenience store
[2442.5s] where Dean is pouring some muddy liquid through the horn.
[2451.8s] It'll be fine, right?
[2454.2s] It'll be fine, you're gonna totally like,
[2456.7s] you're gonna win because you're amazing on that horn
[2460.2s] and like no one, yeah, no one's even gonna know
[2464.9s] about that whole thing.
[2466.0s] Definitely probably not gonna get like some sort
[2468.9s] of communicable disease from blowing into that thing.
[2472.3s] Just make sure.
[2473.2s] I'm sure it's fine.
[2474.3s] Okay, good, good.
[2475.5s] Well, they're down a person too,
[2477.1s] cause I don't know, Tuss, Tuss slaps Tuss
[2481.0s] who you brought with you.
[2483.4s] He's still passed out.
[2485.5s] So if we can just hide Tuss till after the battle
[2488.0s] of the bands, I think we'll be okay.
[2490.4s] Let's put him in this dumpster.
[2492.6s] Yeah, let's put him in this dumpster.
[2496.2s] This is the final scene of the three of you
[2498.6s] trying to push Tuss up and into the dumpster.
[2501.6s] You want me to roll for that?
[2502.5s] Yeah, everybody roll for that.
[2504.6s] Oh, I was a six.
[2507.0s] That's you.
[2508.8s] Nothing but net.
[2510.2s] You slip on the brown liquid and take one more shame
[2514.5s] as Chains and Dean push Tuss up and into the dumpster
[2519.9s] with a loud.
[2522.8s] And as we move up and over the town of Slankston,
[2526.5s] we hear the sound of pebbles being moved away
[2532.1s] and rolling down some hills.
[2535.1s] We see the ears of some of the goblins
[2538.8s] perking up around the perimeter.
[2541.4s] We see a tiny hole forming and a couple little hands
[2545.2s] poking through, pulling some dirt back inside
[2547.6s] whatever tunnel lies beyond the other side.
[2550.6s] And poking through, we see the two eyes of Alydin
[2555.0s] who appears to have stumbled upon the goblin village.
[2558.6s] Alydin, what do you see?
[2561.7s] Goblins, lots and lots of goblins.
[2568.8s] Dumbgeons and Dragons season three, episode 14.
[2577.9s] This episode starred Amy More as Racer and Alydin.
[2581.5s] Carla Maxted as Chains and Russ More as your Game Master.
[2585.2s] Dialogue editing and sound design by Russ More.
[2587.8s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound
[2590.3s] and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,
[2592.4s] Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
[2594.8s] Our amazing cover art and character designs
[2597.2s] are by Matt Garbutt.
[2598.4s] The game we played today was Goblin Punks by Grant Howitt.
[2601.4s] Look in the description, there's a link.
[2602.8s] You can go buy it for yourself.
[2604.4s] And a huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[2606.7s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak, Cat Waterflame,
[2609.8s] Jacob Madden, Christian Brown,
[2611.7s] Ongar Onkirson, Perry Matey,
[2613.8s] Craig Zeiss, Old School Gamer D,
[2616.4s] L.A. Branton, Nathaniel Teeter and Aaron.
[2619.4s] If you'd like to hear the setup for this game
[2621.8s] where we figure out the characters
[2623.6s] and what kind of sweet teen gear
[2625.6s] that everybody has on and is carrying on them,
[2628.6s] all that paraphernalia,
[2630.0s] well, we have it over on Patreon,
[2631.8s] patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
[2633.9s] This week it's in our downtime,
[2635.6s] which is normally a little breakdown after the episode,
[2638.6s] but this one's the setup.
[2640.4s] We're doing it backwards.
[2641.5s] We do whatever we want over there
[2642.9s] and we want you to join us.
[2644.2s] Again, patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
[2646.3s] We hope to see you over there.
[2647.7s] You have a great week though.
[2649.0s] This is the end of the episode.
[2650.4s] I'm just filling time
[2651.5s] until this big music crescendo comes.
[2654.0s] We'll talk to you soon.
[2655.0s] Bye-bye.
[2656.8s] Two teens are seated in their respective home,
[2659.9s] just waking up for the morning.
[2661.4s] Yes, they're seated and they're just waking up.
[2663.5s] Two teens-
[2664.4s] Are we in the same home?
[2666.6s] Do you, I guess that's a question.
[2668.2s] Are we siblings?
[2669.1s] You said they're respective homes,
[2670.6s] which means two different homes.
[2672.5s] Hold on, are you siblings or are you not siblings?
[2674.5s] Fuck no.
[2675.4s] I don't think we're siblings.
[2676.2s] You're not gonna hang with your siblings.
[2677.2s] I don't wanna hang out with my,
[2678.8s] that would be so schlank to hang out with my sibling.
[2682.8s] Hell yeah, that's fucking schlank, man.
[2684.9s] Let's do that.
[2685.7s] God.
[2686.6s] I was bored anyway.
[2687.5s] Well, you get a token.
[2692.3s] That's fun.
[2693.2s] That's fun.
[2695.6s] Japt and Cack Sparrow might be the best thing
[2698.5s] I've ever come up with.
[2699.7s] It's very good.
[2700.5s] And I feel like I've peaked.
[2704.1s] We've only just started.
[2705.0s] I know. It's fine.
[2706.8s] Is that how you get shame?
[2708.4s] How do you get shame?
[2709.9s] It was implied shame.
[2711.0s] Shame you can get if you roll a four to five.
[2714.6s] When you roll it, it doesn't work.
[2716.6s] You can't, I can't just shame you.
[2720.5s] Shame.
[2721.6s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.