1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,760 Sit there, just wait a second, Dumbgeons and Dragons will be back in just a moment. 2 00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:07,160 Hey friends, it's me your Dungeon Master Russ More, I hope you're having a wonderful 3 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:11,679 day and are excited for this week's episode, starting with a little bit of a different 4 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:17,519 intro because we are playing a different game for today's session but it's still 5 00:00:17,519 --> 00:00:21,839 all very connected to the story so you don't want to miss it and in fact you 6 00:00:21,839 --> 00:00:25,080 want to listen to the end to perhaps find out where a certain character has 7 00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:27,140 been for the last little while. 8 00:00:27,140 --> 00:00:31,179 We are playing Goblin Punks by Grant Howitt. 9 00:00:31,179 --> 00:00:36,579 It's a lovely little one-shot game that is helping us build out the world of 10 00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:39,740 Vintersmouth and surrounding area. 11 00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:42,039 So Goblin Punks, what is it? 12 00:00:42,039 --> 00:00:44,359 You're a scrappy little goblin punk. 13 00:00:44,359 --> 00:00:47,299 Your mom and dad want you to stay in the grotto and harvest 14 00:00:47,299 --> 00:00:51,340 mushrooms, but to hell with that, it's time for an adventure. 15 00:00:51,340 --> 00:00:54,740 In today's session, Amy and Carl and I walk through a game of Goblin Punks 16 00:00:54,780 --> 00:00:59,859 and have just the best time laughing our asses off throughout the entire thing. 17 00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:03,380 It's a D6 game, so you'll hear us referring to very similar things to if 18 00:01:03,380 --> 00:01:06,019 you've heard Powered by the Apocalypse games. 19 00:01:06,019 --> 00:01:09,939 When you roll a D6, a one to three is a failure, a four to five is a mix 20 00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:12,620 success, and a six is you do the thing. 21 00:01:12,620 --> 00:01:14,900 And there's also what's called shame and trouble. 22 00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:19,900 When you fail, you can get shame and or trouble, which can send your character 23 00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:25,020 out of the game if you reach a five in either shame or trouble. 24 00:01:25,020 --> 00:01:27,700 There's also a mechanic called Goblin Slang. 25 00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:31,340 So we came up with different things that goblins would say within this world. 26 00:01:31,340 --> 00:01:35,580 And every time a character uses one of those Goblin Slang, they get a token, 27 00:01:35,580 --> 00:01:38,580 which is essentially advantage on a roll. 28 00:01:38,580 --> 00:01:40,020 We have a lot of fun. 29 00:01:40,020 --> 00:01:41,660 Look down in the description. 30 00:01:41,660 --> 00:01:45,380 There's a link to go get your own copy of Goblin Punks and 31 00:01:45,380 --> 00:01:46,980 play it around your table. 32 00:01:46,980 --> 00:01:49,700 One other thing to know is that the downtime this week will be the 33 00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:50,780 set up for the game. 34 00:01:50,780 --> 00:01:53,579 Usually these one shots, there's a bit of set up off the top. 35 00:01:53,579 --> 00:01:55,820 And then you jump into the game because it's all improv. 36 00:01:55,820 --> 00:01:57,420 It's all coming up with it on the spot. 37 00:01:57,420 --> 00:01:58,620 So that will be in the downtime. 38 00:01:58,620 --> 00:02:01,859 And you can get that at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast. 39 00:02:01,859 --> 00:02:04,740 Join us at any tier and you get those down times every week right 40 00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:06,020 along with your episode. 41 00:02:06,020 --> 00:02:07,379 OK, let's get to it. 42 00:02:07,379 --> 00:02:10,900 Goblin Punks, baby. 43 00:02:10,900 --> 00:02:12,659 Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. 44 00:02:12,659 --> 00:02:15,539 We're normally a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast. 45 00:02:15,539 --> 00:02:18,219 But today we're playing Goblin Punks. 46 00:02:18,219 --> 00:02:20,060 I'm your game master, Russ More. 47 00:02:20,060 --> 00:02:20,900 He him. 48 00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:22,939 Also with me today is Amy More. 49 00:02:22,939 --> 00:02:24,740 She her as racer. 50 00:02:24,740 --> 00:02:25,379 He him. 51 00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:27,860 It's boring at this point, but I mean, we can't let them 52 00:02:27,860 --> 00:02:29,020 win Battle of the Bands again. 53 00:02:29,020 --> 00:02:29,500 So. 54 00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:31,780 And Carla Maxton is chains. 55 00:02:31,780 --> 00:02:32,620 She her. 56 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:34,539 You thought it was one of those candy ones, hey? 57 00:02:34,539 --> 00:02:37,060 Like one of those ones you can. 58 00:02:37,060 --> 00:02:39,860 Join us today at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, 59 00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:42,419 where you can hear the whole set up to this Goblin Punks 60 00:02:42,419 --> 00:02:44,099 game, which was a lot of fun. 61 00:02:44,099 --> 00:02:45,379 And we highly suggest you get it. 62 00:02:45,379 --> 00:02:47,780 Don't forget to check down in the description where you 63 00:02:47,780 --> 00:02:50,539 too can be playing Goblin Punks. 64 00:02:50,539 --> 00:02:52,300 You just have to go support Grant Howitt. 65 00:02:52,300 --> 00:02:55,460 And we all love to support Grant Howitt, right? 66 00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:56,460 Now, fuck it. 67 00:02:56,460 --> 00:02:57,060 Let's play. 68 00:03:05,699 --> 00:03:10,460 It's a beautiful sunny day in the town of Vintersmouth. 69 00:03:10,460 --> 00:03:14,219 And we see the bakers and the candlestick makers 70 00:03:14,219 --> 00:03:17,180 and all of the artisans down the main thoroughfare. 71 00:03:17,180 --> 00:03:19,780 Just having the most wonderful time. 72 00:03:19,780 --> 00:03:23,060 And then the camera pans up and out and over the city 73 00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:28,540 and follows us down deep through the verboten forest, 74 00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:30,140 winding through all the trees, 75 00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:32,819 through deep canals and dry river beds 76 00:03:32,819 --> 00:03:38,180 to a cavern that opens up somewhere untraveled 77 00:03:38,180 --> 00:03:42,260 by the locals in Vintersmouth. 78 00:03:42,260 --> 00:03:46,580 And we hear the sound of hammering 79 00:03:46,580 --> 00:03:52,940 and stones hitting each other and a low rumble of voices. 80 00:03:52,940 --> 00:03:55,220 And as we go deeper into this cave 81 00:03:55,220 --> 00:03:59,260 that burrows deep within the earth itself, 82 00:03:59,260 --> 00:04:03,140 we come upon the goblin village of Slankston, 83 00:04:03,140 --> 00:04:05,820 deep within the verboten forest. 84 00:04:05,820 --> 00:04:09,020 Very similar to Vintersmouth, the goblins 85 00:04:09,020 --> 00:04:16,379 are moving about, passing about the toads and mushrooms 86 00:04:16,379 --> 00:04:20,180 that they grow under the earth, 87 00:04:20,180 --> 00:04:24,379 flipping through and really just tossing to the ground 88 00:04:24,379 --> 00:04:27,019 various pieces of paper that they've picked up 89 00:04:27,019 --> 00:04:28,740 along their travels. 90 00:04:28,740 --> 00:04:33,420 We make it behind the local convenience store. 91 00:04:33,420 --> 00:04:35,579 Yeah, there we go. 92 00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:42,219 Out by the dumpster, we find chains and racer. 93 00:04:42,219 --> 00:04:44,740 Not spelled the way you think it is. 94 00:04:44,740 --> 00:04:49,060 You both have been given the task of picking mushrooms, 95 00:04:49,060 --> 00:04:51,939 harvesting mushrooms by your mom and dad. 96 00:04:51,939 --> 00:04:55,900 The last thing you both remember as you left your home 97 00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:59,300 and slammed the door behind you in a huff 98 00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:03,379 was your respective mother and or father screaming, 99 00:05:03,379 --> 00:05:06,220 and don't come home until you've harvested 100 00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:08,780 every single last mushroom. 101 00:05:08,780 --> 00:05:10,980 Ah! 102 00:05:10,980 --> 00:05:12,780 They both grumble like that too. 103 00:05:12,820 --> 00:05:13,820 Ah! 104 00:05:13,820 --> 00:05:14,620 Ah! 105 00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:21,900 Well, so like, I am definitely not 106 00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:23,020 going to pick mushrooms today. 107 00:05:23,020 --> 00:05:23,900 I mean, right? 108 00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:24,700 We're not. 109 00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,820 Jace always picks them anyway. 110 00:05:26,820 --> 00:05:28,260 Let's just steal them out of his bucket. 111 00:05:28,260 --> 00:05:30,700 Yes, I was thinking the exact same thing. 112 00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:34,180 Plus, I got this from my older brother. 113 00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:35,020 What you got there? 114 00:05:35,020 --> 00:05:36,020 Glug, glug, glug, glug. 115 00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:37,020 Glug, glug, glug? 116 00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:41,300 I made a little, you know, little mix, found some bottles, 117 00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:43,900 poured them all into another bottle. 118 00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:48,340 So also I took this, which could be like, 119 00:05:48,340 --> 00:05:50,060 this is goblin weed. 120 00:05:50,060 --> 00:05:50,939 Obviously, look at it. 121 00:05:50,939 --> 00:05:53,580 I mean, we know what goblin weed looks like. 122 00:05:53,580 --> 00:05:55,540 So this is it. 123 00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:57,660 Very distinct smell. 124 00:05:57,660 --> 00:06:00,100 Exactly, that I totally know about 125 00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:03,460 from all of my weed that I do. 126 00:06:03,460 --> 00:06:05,019 Yeah, man. 127 00:06:05,019 --> 00:06:08,139 So no mushroom picking. 128 00:06:08,139 --> 00:06:08,980 No. 129 00:06:08,980 --> 00:06:10,540 There's nobody here, which is crazy. 130 00:06:10,580 --> 00:06:12,580 This is usually where everybody is, 131 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:17,580 outside this convenience store drinking, for some reason. 132 00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:19,420 Well, I mean, last time we were here, 133 00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:23,100 there was that guy who bought me a Popsie. 134 00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:24,580 So that was kind of nice, but. 135 00:06:24,580 --> 00:06:25,420 It was great. 136 00:06:25,420 --> 00:06:26,939 I mean, they do have that thing. 137 00:06:26,939 --> 00:06:27,860 Like, can you hear that? 138 00:06:27,860 --> 00:06:31,140 That like, it's playing. 139 00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:35,740 Just trying like, I think they think we hate it. 140 00:06:35,740 --> 00:06:37,900 But like, I don't even, it doesn't even bother me. 141 00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:38,740 I didn't even notice. 142 00:06:38,740 --> 00:06:40,180 It's that weird, high-pitched. 143 00:06:40,180 --> 00:06:41,019 You know what, though? 144 00:06:41,019 --> 00:06:44,420 My ears are superior to other ears. 145 00:06:44,420 --> 00:06:45,939 I'm pretty sure. 146 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:46,780 Right. 147 00:06:46,780 --> 00:06:48,259 Wouldn't that mean you could hear it, then? 148 00:06:48,259 --> 00:06:51,060 Well, yeah, but I mean, like, I can block things out. 149 00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:55,019 Like, better than other people can, so. 150 00:06:57,660 --> 00:06:59,019 I can't block that out. 151 00:07:00,180 --> 00:07:01,019 Hey. 152 00:07:01,019 --> 00:07:04,540 You turn, and you look, and you see your friend? 153 00:07:05,460 --> 00:07:07,180 Do teens really have friends? 154 00:07:07,180 --> 00:07:11,060 Yeah, you see your fellow teen, Dean, 155 00:07:11,060 --> 00:07:13,019 walk around the corner? 156 00:07:13,019 --> 00:07:14,340 Dean the teen? 157 00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:16,740 They are sobbing. 158 00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:19,540 Dean looks more so unkempt, 159 00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:21,420 like he's been dragged through the mud, 160 00:07:21,420 --> 00:07:24,420 or pushed down a lot, 161 00:07:24,420 --> 00:07:26,660 and he comes around the corner, just sobbing, 162 00:07:26,660 --> 00:07:30,540 just holding in his hand a single goblin cigarette, 163 00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:31,740 which is unlit. 164 00:07:31,740 --> 00:07:33,019 Oh. 165 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:34,899 Oh, man, do you need a light, man? 166 00:07:34,899 --> 00:07:35,740 You okay? 167 00:07:36,139 --> 00:07:38,819 No, I just hold it, 168 00:07:38,819 --> 00:07:40,019 because it looks cool. 169 00:07:41,259 --> 00:07:42,100 It does look cool. 170 00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:43,740 It's for the look, you just bite it, 171 00:07:43,740 --> 00:07:45,139 you don't light it. 172 00:07:45,139 --> 00:07:47,939 Yeah, I'm just really glad to see you both. 173 00:07:47,939 --> 00:07:49,060 Why are you crying, man? 174 00:07:49,060 --> 00:07:49,900 Get us together. 175 00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:50,740 Yeah, what's up? 176 00:07:50,740 --> 00:07:51,560 It's so not cool. 177 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:52,400 The cope, the cope, 178 00:07:53,699 --> 00:07:57,060 the cope, the cobalt's been, 179 00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,500 they're just causing trouble. 180 00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:00,900 Oh. 181 00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:01,740 Jackasses again. 182 00:08:01,740 --> 00:08:03,939 I fricking hate those guys. 183 00:08:03,980 --> 00:08:05,899 I was just out harvesting, 184 00:08:05,899 --> 00:08:07,819 I mean, not harvesting mushrooms, 185 00:08:07,819 --> 00:08:09,180 like my mom and dad said, 186 00:08:09,180 --> 00:08:13,699 I was doing bad teenager things, 187 00:08:13,699 --> 00:08:16,339 like all the cool teenagers do, 188 00:08:16,339 --> 00:08:18,060 and then they came up, 189 00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:20,699 and they were like, give us your mushrooms, 190 00:08:20,699 --> 00:08:21,740 and I said, I don't, 191 00:08:21,740 --> 00:08:23,680 because I wasn't picking them, clearly, 192 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,139 but then they took them, 193 00:08:25,139 --> 00:08:26,899 the ones that I didn't have, 194 00:08:26,899 --> 00:08:29,540 and pushed me to the ground, 195 00:08:29,540 --> 00:08:30,899 and rubbed my face in it, 196 00:08:30,899 --> 00:08:33,580 and said, well, if you want them back, 197 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,660 come to the Haunted Mansion, 198 00:08:35,660 --> 00:08:36,740 you know the mansion, 199 00:08:36,740 --> 00:08:41,220 the one built by Sir Alfred Hauntington. 200 00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:42,660 That place, yeah. 201 00:08:42,660 --> 00:08:43,500 Yeah. 202 00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:45,139 Yeah, I've been there like a ton of times, 203 00:08:45,139 --> 00:08:46,420 it's like not even scary, right? 204 00:08:46,420 --> 00:08:48,259 A million times, it's boring now, 205 00:08:48,259 --> 00:08:50,060 but like. No problem. 206 00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:53,180 Also like, fuck those cobalts, am I right? 207 00:08:53,180 --> 00:08:54,139 Yeah. 208 00:08:54,139 --> 00:08:56,820 Yeah, like Hiv and Nod and Deck and Tusk, 209 00:08:56,820 --> 00:08:57,740 they were all there, 210 00:08:57,740 --> 00:09:00,220 and they not only took the mushrooms, 211 00:09:00,220 --> 00:09:03,020 but they took my prized horn. 212 00:09:03,059 --> 00:09:04,220 How's your band gonna play 213 00:09:04,220 --> 00:09:05,139 if you don't have your horn? 214 00:09:05,139 --> 00:09:07,220 Oh my goodness, slap of the horn. 215 00:09:07,220 --> 00:09:08,860 It's Battle of the Bands next week, man, 216 00:09:08,860 --> 00:09:09,699 you gotta get that back. 217 00:09:09,699 --> 00:09:11,100 I know. You gotta get that back, 218 00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:12,980 because everyone's counting on you to win, 219 00:09:12,980 --> 00:09:15,500 because what if the cobalt band wins? 220 00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:16,579 God, they can't win, man, 221 00:09:16,579 --> 00:09:17,579 you can't let that happen. The cobalt band 222 00:09:17,579 --> 00:09:19,740 wins every year. 223 00:09:19,740 --> 00:09:22,100 Well, it's because they beat everybody else up. 224 00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:23,659 Hey. Huh? 225 00:09:23,659 --> 00:09:26,899 What if we beat them up 226 00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,860 and took their instruments? 227 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:31,179 Then, vengeance. 228 00:09:31,179 --> 00:09:32,379 Vengeance? Also, 229 00:09:33,220 --> 00:09:35,740 we don't have to listen to their shitty pop music. 230 00:09:35,740 --> 00:09:38,460 They're gonna play at the Battle of the Bands and win. 231 00:09:38,460 --> 00:09:40,340 Hell yeah, that's fucking schlank, man. 232 00:09:40,340 --> 00:09:41,179 Let's do that. 233 00:09:41,179 --> 00:09:42,019 God. 234 00:09:42,019 --> 00:09:42,819 I was bored, anyway. 235 00:09:42,819 --> 00:09:43,819 So you're gonna come 236 00:09:43,819 --> 00:09:45,659 and you're gonna help me beat them up, 237 00:09:45,659 --> 00:09:47,139 and then? 238 00:09:47,139 --> 00:09:48,620 Yeah, I mean, are you gonna help? 239 00:09:48,620 --> 00:09:49,460 Yeah, yeah, fuck. 240 00:09:49,460 --> 00:09:51,860 You can't throw a punch worth anything, man. 241 00:09:51,860 --> 00:09:54,259 Well, not when there's a lot of them, 242 00:09:54,259 --> 00:09:56,939 but maybe when it's a little more equal. 243 00:09:56,939 --> 00:09:58,579 How many more of them? 244 00:09:58,579 --> 00:10:00,740 Well, just the four I mentioned. 245 00:10:00,740 --> 00:10:01,699 All right. 246 00:10:01,699 --> 00:10:02,539 Okay. 247 00:10:02,980 --> 00:10:04,419 Three on four, three against four. 248 00:10:04,419 --> 00:10:06,659 We can take on four, three on four. 249 00:10:06,659 --> 00:10:11,379 I once hit Jemmold so hard, all his teeth fell out. 250 00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:16,699 He wasn't at school for like two weeks. 251 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:17,539 It was embarrassing for him. 252 00:10:17,539 --> 00:10:18,860 That's Frank's balls, man. 253 00:10:18,860 --> 00:10:21,779 You knocked Jemmold's teeth out, wow. 254 00:10:21,779 --> 00:10:24,019 Oh yeah, one punch, one punch. 255 00:10:24,019 --> 00:10:25,659 One punch? He was down. 256 00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:26,779 Wow. 257 00:10:26,779 --> 00:10:29,019 Well, I mean, Dek and Tusk, you know them. 258 00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:30,779 They're really small kobolds. 259 00:10:30,779 --> 00:10:32,339 Maybe I could punch them both at the same time. 260 00:10:33,180 --> 00:10:34,019 You stack them up for me. 261 00:10:34,019 --> 00:10:34,840 Punch them at the same time. 262 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:35,680 I hit one in the face. 263 00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:36,500 Bam, bam. 264 00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:37,340 The back of their head hits the other one 265 00:10:37,340 --> 00:10:38,700 in the face behind him. 266 00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:39,940 They both fall down. 267 00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:41,060 Yeah, okay. 268 00:10:41,060 --> 00:10:43,740 Yeah, and I could stand behind one of them. 269 00:10:43,740 --> 00:10:46,300 Maybe the one after, the one that gets hit 270 00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:50,060 with the head, and then I trip him. 271 00:10:50,060 --> 00:10:53,700 Yeah, remember when we used to go sit 272 00:10:53,700 --> 00:10:55,420 behind somebody, like crouch down, 273 00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:57,019 and one of us would shove the other one over? 274 00:10:57,019 --> 00:10:57,860 I like that. 275 00:10:57,860 --> 00:10:58,700 Let's do that too. 276 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,379 Yeah, let's get that in there. 277 00:11:00,379 --> 00:11:01,700 They're gonna be so embarrassed. 278 00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:03,960 They're not gonna be able to show their faces. 279 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:04,800 And like, 280 00:11:06,460 --> 00:11:10,220 Japt and Caxparo is the best at creating a distraction. 281 00:11:10,220 --> 00:11:11,860 No, he is. You know you are. 282 00:11:11,860 --> 00:11:15,560 Oh, so we need that. 283 00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:17,000 That was a new one, man. 284 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,379 This bird's making all the noises 285 00:11:18,379 --> 00:11:19,900 like I hadn't even heard before. 286 00:11:19,900 --> 00:11:22,000 That's Frank's balls, man. 287 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,580 Okay, well, let's go get him. 288 00:11:23,580 --> 00:11:25,140 I've got my lantern. 289 00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:26,920 See, it's a fancy lantern. 290 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:30,259 Oh, that'll help us see in the Haunting Mansion. 291 00:11:30,259 --> 00:11:32,500 And I've got one goblin cigarette 292 00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:35,179 so we can make them think that we belong there. 293 00:11:35,179 --> 00:11:36,639 Man, we do belong there. 294 00:11:36,639 --> 00:11:39,659 Well, I mean, I've got this, one glug glug, 295 00:11:39,659 --> 00:11:41,939 and this bag of goblin weed. 296 00:11:41,939 --> 00:11:45,200 I've got this, and I whip out a pocket. 297 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,460 This feels like the really serious situation 298 00:11:47,460 --> 00:11:50,600 like in a teen movie where others are just ready 299 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,659 to go fight and then one guy takes it too far. 300 00:11:52,659 --> 00:11:53,500 That's me. 301 00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:55,740 Wow, wow, okay, racer. 302 00:11:55,740 --> 00:11:56,939 Yeah. Well. 303 00:11:56,939 --> 00:11:57,939 I mean, I got this rope. 304 00:11:57,939 --> 00:11:59,620 We could probably do something with that too. 305 00:12:00,179 --> 00:12:01,019 Okay, we got it. 306 00:12:01,019 --> 00:12:02,500 I like this, we're spitting it out. 307 00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:03,580 I love it. 308 00:12:03,580 --> 00:12:05,019 We've got a plan. 309 00:12:05,019 --> 00:12:06,139 We've got a team. 310 00:12:06,139 --> 00:12:07,220 I've got friends. 311 00:12:07,220 --> 00:12:12,220 And maybe, maybe we'll get my horn back. 312 00:12:12,539 --> 00:12:13,379 We have to. 313 00:12:13,379 --> 00:12:14,220 It sounds good, but man. 314 00:12:14,220 --> 00:12:15,039 Out of all the bands. 315 00:12:15,039 --> 00:12:15,960 Don't say things like I've got friends. 316 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,080 That's so lame. 317 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,700 I didn't say that part out loud, did I? 318 00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:20,539 Yep. 319 00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:21,740 Yeah, everybody heard it. 320 00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,500 Oh, that was supposed to be my inside full. 321 00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:24,340 Shame. 322 00:12:24,340 --> 00:12:25,180 Hm. 323 00:12:25,180 --> 00:12:30,180 Okay, we cut to the haunted mansion built by 324 00:12:37,220 --> 00:12:38,940 Sir Alfred Haunted. 325 00:12:38,940 --> 00:12:41,860 There is a commemorative plaque out front 326 00:12:41,860 --> 00:12:43,540 of the haunted mansion. 327 00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:45,620 Of course, this picture of this mansion 328 00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:47,540 that we see before us. 329 00:12:47,540 --> 00:12:52,540 It is also underground, but set far away. 330 00:12:53,219 --> 00:12:56,899 Because Sir Alfred Haunted was a goblin. 331 00:12:56,899 --> 00:12:57,899 Was a goblin, yes. 332 00:12:57,899 --> 00:12:59,459 So it's underground like the rest of our. 333 00:12:59,459 --> 00:13:00,299 Yeah. 334 00:13:00,299 --> 00:13:01,899 Yeah, makes total sense. 335 00:13:01,899 --> 00:13:05,379 So it's set farther away from Slankston 336 00:13:05,379 --> 00:13:10,379 in the mossy grove on the outskirts. 337 00:13:12,179 --> 00:13:17,059 That also grows putrid mushroom caps. 338 00:13:17,059 --> 00:13:19,059 Not the ones you're supposed to be harvesting. 339 00:13:19,059 --> 00:13:20,179 The putrid ones. 340 00:13:20,180 --> 00:13:25,180 Okay, so they're probably in there. 341 00:13:27,180 --> 00:13:29,380 You said you've been in there before, right? 342 00:13:29,380 --> 00:13:31,100 Yeah, like a million times. 343 00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,180 Like so many times. 344 00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:33,460 So it's not even scary. 345 00:13:33,460 --> 00:13:34,300 It's like, whatever. 346 00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:35,140 It's boring at this point. 347 00:13:35,140 --> 00:13:35,980 It's fine. 348 00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:36,820 Yeah, it's boring. 349 00:13:36,820 --> 00:13:38,500 I mean, we can't let them win Battle of the Bands 350 00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:39,420 again, so. 351 00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:41,820 Yeah. 352 00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:42,660 So. 353 00:13:42,660 --> 00:13:43,480 Right. 354 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:44,320 Yeah. 355 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,160 Here we go. 356 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:45,980 Here we go. 357 00:13:45,980 --> 00:13:46,820 Okay, yep. 358 00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:47,660 We're all moving forward. 359 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:48,500 Here we go. 360 00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:50,220 One more time. 361 00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:51,059 Yep. 362 00:13:51,059 --> 00:13:52,740 I'm the only one taking steps. 363 00:13:52,740 --> 00:13:53,580 Yeah, you're doing it great. 364 00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:55,419 You know, you've been in there a whole bunch, so. 365 00:13:55,419 --> 00:13:56,259 Yeah, it's really good. 366 00:13:56,259 --> 00:13:57,100 Yeah, perfect, okay. 367 00:13:57,100 --> 00:14:00,659 It's like the first time you step inside 368 00:14:00,659 --> 00:14:01,980 is pretty incredible. 369 00:14:01,980 --> 00:14:05,779 So we kind of want you to like get the chance 370 00:14:05,779 --> 00:14:07,620 to experience that without us 371 00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:10,340 like barreling in all casually, right? 372 00:14:10,340 --> 00:14:11,179 Yeah, yeah. 373 00:14:11,179 --> 00:14:12,000 Good point, Chains. 374 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:12,840 Good point. 375 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:16,379 Yeah, no, that's, yeah, it's untainted 376 00:14:16,379 --> 00:14:18,340 without the description of what's gonna happen 377 00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:20,019 on the other side. 378 00:14:20,019 --> 00:14:20,860 Okay, I've got it. 379 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,700 I've got it, everybody. 380 00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:25,259 This is small timid footsteps. 381 00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,620 Moving up the wooden staircase 382 00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:31,460 and he gets to the top 383 00:14:31,460 --> 00:14:34,860 and like one of the boards crunches beneath Dean 384 00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:38,180 and he kind of takes a couple steps back 385 00:14:38,180 --> 00:14:40,180 and then looks back at you. 386 00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:44,139 I said, I said. 387 00:14:44,139 --> 00:14:45,780 That wasn't like the cool thing. 388 00:14:45,780 --> 00:14:47,940 That was just like some old wood. 389 00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:50,900 But you jumped like 100 feet from here, man. 390 00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:52,980 Okay, yeah, no, I was just, 391 00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:55,100 I was just showing you how to be safe 392 00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:58,060 on a broken plank of wood. 393 00:14:58,060 --> 00:14:59,980 Did you pee a little bit, is that? 394 00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:01,580 That's just, that's just, 395 00:15:01,580 --> 00:15:04,620 I slipped in the mossy grove. 396 00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:06,500 It's just the putrid mushrooms, 397 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:07,340 I thought maybe. 398 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,740 At least they're spores as we walked by. 399 00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:13,860 Yeah, he waves his cigarette at you 400 00:15:13,860 --> 00:15:16,420 and takes a few more steps up to the door 401 00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:21,020 and reaches his hand up as if going to knock. 402 00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:23,940 Okay, but, dude. 403 00:15:23,940 --> 00:15:24,780 What? 404 00:15:25,740 --> 00:15:28,140 Well, we're going to go in to beat up the cobalt. 405 00:15:28,140 --> 00:15:28,980 Right. 406 00:15:28,980 --> 00:15:29,820 You're gonna announce your arrival. 407 00:15:29,820 --> 00:15:30,660 Hey, we're here to beat you up. 408 00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:31,500 Okay. 409 00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,060 And you knock like they're gonna be like, 410 00:15:33,060 --> 00:15:34,300 we're not home. 411 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,580 Right, okay. 412 00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:36,580 Yeah, so. 413 00:15:36,580 --> 00:15:39,620 Yeah, no, so just open the doors quietly. 414 00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:40,460 Yeah. 415 00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:41,500 He reaches for the handle 416 00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:44,380 and gives it a soft push and it. 417 00:15:44,379 --> 00:15:45,220 Ooh. 418 00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:51,620 Step in. 419 00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:53,539 Takes a step inside. 420 00:15:53,539 --> 00:15:54,379 Oh. 421 00:15:57,059 --> 00:15:57,980 Hello? 422 00:15:57,980 --> 00:15:59,019 Oh my God. 423 00:15:59,019 --> 00:15:59,980 No. 424 00:15:59,980 --> 00:16:01,340 Did we just say not to announce ourselves? 425 00:16:01,340 --> 00:16:02,299 Oh, sorry. 426 00:16:02,299 --> 00:16:03,139 Sorry, okay. 427 00:16:03,139 --> 00:16:04,899 Whatever, the whole house is heard us at this point. 428 00:16:04,899 --> 00:16:05,740 Come on. 429 00:16:05,740 --> 00:16:08,019 Well, I don't hear anybody other than myself. 430 00:16:08,019 --> 00:16:08,860 I mean. 431 00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:09,679 You're speaking really loudly. 432 00:16:09,679 --> 00:16:10,519 Not gonna worry about, 433 00:16:10,519 --> 00:16:13,139 we're just here to drink our booze. 434 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:14,179 Smoke our weed. 435 00:16:14,179 --> 00:16:17,659 Definitely goblin weed that I have. 436 00:16:17,659 --> 00:16:19,620 That is definitely goblin weed. 437 00:16:19,620 --> 00:16:21,659 So that's all we're doing here. 438 00:16:21,659 --> 00:16:23,860 Dean takes a few more steps inside. 439 00:16:23,860 --> 00:16:25,899 I assume at this point you're following. 440 00:16:25,899 --> 00:16:26,740 Oh yes, yeah. 441 00:16:26,740 --> 00:16:27,580 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 442 00:16:27,580 --> 00:16:29,539 Gotta usher him in and pull him inside 443 00:16:29,539 --> 00:16:34,539 and inside you see it's a grand goblin mansion, 444 00:16:37,220 --> 00:16:40,460 which to me means it's like eight foot ceilings, 445 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:42,819 which are very tall for a goblin. 446 00:16:43,620 --> 00:16:44,820 Yeah, vaulted ceilings. 447 00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:49,500 And they have worn and water damaged 448 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:53,460 like paintings and wallpaper all over. 449 00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:56,820 And by wallpaper I mean it's newspaper 450 00:16:56,820 --> 00:17:00,300 that has just been paper mached to the wall. 451 00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:03,340 You take a few steps inside 452 00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:07,259 and the door stays open behind you. 453 00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:08,180 As doors do. 454 00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:09,539 As doors do. 455 00:17:09,539 --> 00:17:11,700 Yeah, I mean it's good they built this house 456 00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:16,340 like Mr. Haunted, sorry, built this house really good. 457 00:17:16,340 --> 00:17:18,900 There's not even like, it's all square. 458 00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:21,340 The door doesn't just swing shut by itself. 459 00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:24,500 Unusual for goblin construction. 460 00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:25,819 I mean it's hard to build 461 00:17:25,819 --> 00:17:28,900 like something so majestic underground like this. 462 00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:31,700 So it's good workmanship. 463 00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:32,779 Earth shifting. 464 00:17:33,580 --> 00:17:34,420 Yeah. 465 00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:35,940 You take a few more steps in 466 00:17:35,940 --> 00:17:39,660 and there's a living room area 467 00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:43,620 that has old furniture that has fabrics draped 468 00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:48,500 over top of it and a rustic fireplace 469 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:51,700 set inside this living room. 470 00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:53,980 You stop and listen for a moment 471 00:17:53,980 --> 00:17:58,460 and you hear from somewhere back at the, 472 00:17:58,460 --> 00:17:59,980 in the back of the house, 473 00:17:59,980 --> 00:18:01,940 you hear some clanging noise. 474 00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:05,940 Clang, clang, it's the middle. 475 00:18:06,940 --> 00:18:09,340 Hey friends, this is The Middle and it's me 476 00:18:09,340 --> 00:18:11,420 hanging out with you here, having a great time. 477 00:18:11,420 --> 00:18:13,460 Thank you so much for being here. 478 00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:16,220 Big shout out to Grant Howitt for creating Goblin Ponks. 479 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:19,420 That's the game we're playing and it's a lot of fun. 480 00:18:19,420 --> 00:18:23,100 It's always fun just to throw in a short one shot 481 00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:25,380 of some sort that's different from what you're usually 482 00:18:25,380 --> 00:18:28,059 playing with your friends around the table. 483 00:18:28,059 --> 00:18:31,420 If you don't do it a lot, I highly recommend it. 484 00:18:31,420 --> 00:18:32,900 I highly recommend it. 485 00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:37,900 It breaks you out of any routine that you've got going on, 486 00:18:38,539 --> 00:18:41,740 gives you some time to just be fun and be goofy 487 00:18:41,740 --> 00:18:43,820 and try some different game mechanics 488 00:18:43,820 --> 00:18:47,019 and try and focus on some different characters and growth. 489 00:18:47,019 --> 00:18:48,620 And we did that for this one. 490 00:18:48,620 --> 00:18:51,420 We actually recorded this one quite some time ago 491 00:18:51,420 --> 00:18:56,420 and I wasn't sure if we were gonna release it. 492 00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:59,380 It was supposed to be some between season content 493 00:18:59,380 --> 00:19:00,980 gearing up for the new season. 494 00:19:01,820 --> 00:19:04,820 Hung onto it thinking, well, now's not the right time. 495 00:19:04,820 --> 00:19:09,820 And then this little split of the party happened 496 00:19:10,340 --> 00:19:14,420 and feels like once you listen to the end of the episode 497 00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:15,820 it's gonna make a little more sense 498 00:19:15,820 --> 00:19:18,260 but felt really good to fit here. 499 00:19:18,260 --> 00:19:20,620 So I don't know if I've said it already 500 00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:21,900 but go support Grant Howitt. 501 00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:22,940 There's a link down in the description. 502 00:19:22,940 --> 00:19:24,660 You can go pick up Goblin Ponks 503 00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:26,420 and see all their other one shots 504 00:19:26,420 --> 00:19:28,300 that they have going on over there. 505 00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,340 Amazing. 506 00:19:29,339 --> 00:19:30,579 What do I got next? 507 00:19:30,579 --> 00:19:34,740 Next week and the week after we have a very special guest. 508 00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:39,139 Joe Fisher, creator, writer, actor, 509 00:19:39,139 --> 00:19:42,819 extraordinaire from Midnight Burger will be joining us. 510 00:19:42,819 --> 00:19:44,819 We're all very excited. 511 00:19:44,819 --> 00:19:47,099 Joe's a good friend of the show and my own 512 00:19:47,099 --> 00:19:50,259 and graciously said that they would come play with us 513 00:19:50,259 --> 00:19:52,179 even though they haven't played D&D since he was 14. 514 00:19:52,179 --> 00:19:53,699 So I said, you're gonna fit right in. 515 00:19:53,699 --> 00:19:54,939 Don't worry about it. 516 00:19:54,939 --> 00:19:57,740 So that will be coming up next week. 517 00:19:57,740 --> 00:19:58,740 And while you wait for that, 518 00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:01,180 we wanna let you know about a show 519 00:20:01,180 --> 00:20:05,380 who are re-releasing their first season. 520 00:20:05,380 --> 00:20:06,539 It's The Wizard Scroll, 521 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,700 a sword and sorcery sci-fi narrative 522 00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:11,339 that you I think are really gonna love. 523 00:20:11,339 --> 00:20:13,980 It's very different from a lot of things. 524 00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:16,140 It's a scripted fiction podcast. 525 00:20:16,140 --> 00:20:20,220 The creator Chris, he's taken a look at his first season 526 00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:25,220 and wanted to reimagine it as a dedication to his craft. 527 00:20:25,299 --> 00:20:27,579 It's a serialized series of short stories 528 00:20:27,579 --> 00:20:31,539 set in a fantastical realm of Jurgsland. 529 00:20:31,539 --> 00:20:34,220 Tales of legendary sword wielding warriors 530 00:20:34,220 --> 00:20:36,740 set adrift through time and space. 531 00:20:36,740 --> 00:20:40,220 A wannabe spell caster trying to learn the art 532 00:20:40,220 --> 00:20:43,259 of the arcane and even a couple of orcs 533 00:20:43,259 --> 00:20:46,379 who don't play by nobody's rules. 534 00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:48,859 I've listened to several episodes of The Wizard Scroll 535 00:20:48,859 --> 00:20:50,699 and think you're really gonna enjoy it. 536 00:20:50,699 --> 00:20:53,339 It's got great sound and music and acting 537 00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:54,539 and I think there's something 538 00:20:54,539 --> 00:20:56,619 that everybody will find to enjoy. 539 00:20:56,620 --> 00:20:59,460 The Wizard Scroll is available on Apple, Spotify, 540 00:20:59,460 --> 00:21:02,300 anywhere you listen to, find podcasts 541 00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:05,740 and new episode of the season one redone. 542 00:21:05,740 --> 00:21:07,220 Great place to start. 543 00:21:07,220 --> 00:21:09,340 Are being released every Saturday morning. 544 00:21:09,340 --> 00:21:10,420 So you don't have to wait long 545 00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:11,620 to hear that next installment. 546 00:21:11,620 --> 00:21:12,440 Go check it out. 547 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:13,280 It's The Wizard Scroll. 548 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:14,860 Now let's get you back to goblin punks. 549 00:21:14,860 --> 00:21:16,340 Okay, talk to you soon. 550 00:21:16,340 --> 00:21:17,180 Bye. 551 00:21:22,180 --> 00:21:25,460 Aren't you guys, we should probably think of a plan. 552 00:21:25,460 --> 00:21:26,300 Yeah. 553 00:21:26,299 --> 00:21:28,539 I just want to go in guns a blazing, 554 00:21:28,539 --> 00:21:31,259 but like I want to make sure everyone gets a taste. 555 00:21:31,259 --> 00:21:33,899 Yeah, they'll be super intimidated by us, 556 00:21:33,899 --> 00:21:38,740 but like, yeah, maybe just like sneak a little closer 557 00:21:38,740 --> 00:21:42,740 to just like kind of suss out the situation, 558 00:21:42,740 --> 00:21:46,299 like what kind of like weapons they have, 559 00:21:46,299 --> 00:21:48,419 where the instruments are that we definitely 560 00:21:48,419 --> 00:21:50,539 want to destroy, the one instrument 561 00:21:50,539 --> 00:21:53,919 we don't want to destroy and like retrieve. 562 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,240 Just like observe, you know, 563 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,360 just like live in that moment for a minute 564 00:21:58,360 --> 00:21:59,440 and see what they're doing. 565 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,240 Super deep, man. 566 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,640 Wow. That's real deep, Chance. 567 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:04,160 Yeah, thanks. 568 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:07,100 So should we go to where the noises are coming from? 569 00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:09,320 Duh. Okay. 570 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,600 Yeah, unless, wait, you didn't say, 571 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:15,160 were they silent kobolds that beat you up? 572 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:19,000 Oh no, they were quite rambunctious and verbose. 573 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:19,840 Okay. 574 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:21,480 That's a word I've heard. 575 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,080 Anything specific that they said 576 00:22:23,079 --> 00:22:24,679 that you'd like to share? 577 00:22:24,679 --> 00:22:25,519 They said- 578 00:22:25,519 --> 00:22:26,839 Anything verbose they said? 579 00:22:28,839 --> 00:22:31,839 They said, hey, Dean, eat shit. 580 00:22:34,079 --> 00:22:35,439 Yeah, it sounds like them. 581 00:22:35,439 --> 00:22:37,639 And then they said, hey, Dean, 582 00:22:37,639 --> 00:22:41,679 we're taking your mushrooms and we're gonna eat them all. 583 00:22:41,679 --> 00:22:42,519 Yeah. 584 00:22:42,519 --> 00:22:44,799 And then they pushed me down. 585 00:22:44,799 --> 00:22:46,559 Kobolds are stupid, I guess. 586 00:22:46,559 --> 00:22:48,359 Kobolds are stupid, stupid. 587 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:50,199 I don't even know why I was so scared of them 588 00:22:50,199 --> 00:22:52,319 when they came upon me, all four of them, 589 00:22:52,399 --> 00:22:53,599 just out of the blue. 590 00:22:54,639 --> 00:22:56,720 Too bad I was working by myself. 591 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,119 There were supposed to be two other goblins 592 00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:00,960 picking mushrooms this morning. 593 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,279 Yeah, I heard there were toads around, 594 00:23:02,279 --> 00:23:04,519 so I was looking for those instead. 595 00:23:04,519 --> 00:23:06,399 Oh, it was supposed to be you? 596 00:23:06,399 --> 00:23:07,599 No. 597 00:23:07,599 --> 00:23:08,679 Oh, okay. 598 00:23:08,679 --> 00:23:10,200 Unrelated. Unrelated, of course. 599 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:13,319 Yeah, no, you two were off today, it's okay. 600 00:23:13,319 --> 00:23:14,799 Begin walking towards the back 601 00:23:14,799 --> 00:23:18,279 and there is a stairwell that goes up one floor 602 00:23:18,279 --> 00:23:21,159 and then a door that's cracked open 603 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:26,160 and then there's a soft light that's emanating out. 604 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,000 And for anyone who's actually been there, 605 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,519 you would know that this is the stairwell to the basement. 606 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:39,680 I think that the noise is coming from downstairs. 607 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:43,040 Yeah, Razor, can you use those extra awesome ears 608 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:47,200 you have to locate it because you've got those good ears? 609 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:48,040 I mean, I totally can, 610 00:23:48,039 --> 00:23:52,879 but Japtun can probably just fly down there 611 00:23:52,879 --> 00:23:54,440 to see what's up. 612 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:55,720 Obviously, Japtun. 613 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:57,359 All right, do it. 614 00:23:57,359 --> 00:23:58,359 Go for Japtun. 615 00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:02,639 Japtun flies down the stairs and disappears from sight. 616 00:24:04,799 --> 00:24:07,159 He'll just be like a second. 617 00:24:07,159 --> 00:24:09,039 Yeah, you guys want some of this? 618 00:24:09,039 --> 00:24:09,879 Yeah, sure. 619 00:24:09,879 --> 00:24:12,200 A little liquid courage. 620 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:13,720 Anybody want to hold my cigarette? 621 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:15,079 Yeah, hold on, let me have both. 622 00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:16,039 Let me have both. 623 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:17,839 Oh. Right? 624 00:24:17,839 --> 00:24:19,240 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 625 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:20,720 That was good. 626 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:22,000 You look really good. 627 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:23,559 Yeah, it's real strong. 628 00:24:23,559 --> 00:24:24,399 That's how I like it. 629 00:24:24,399 --> 00:24:26,559 You're not supposed to eat the cigarette. 630 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:30,639 You thought it was one of those candy ones, hey? 631 00:24:30,639 --> 00:24:32,079 Like one of those ones you can... 632 00:24:32,079 --> 00:24:32,920 Yeah, yeah. 633 00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,440 No, it's a lot more real than I thought it was. 634 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:36,879 That's a real one. 635 00:24:36,879 --> 00:24:38,559 Here, you can have back what's left of it. 636 00:24:38,559 --> 00:24:39,399 Oh, thanks. 637 00:24:39,399 --> 00:24:40,519 I'm just gonna wash it down with... 638 00:24:40,519 --> 00:24:43,559 I'm just gonna try and just patch it back up here. 639 00:24:43,559 --> 00:24:44,799 Guys, I'm so disappointed. 640 00:24:44,839 --> 00:24:48,440 I just realized I have this big bag of goblin weed, 641 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:52,559 but I don't have any, you know... 642 00:24:52,559 --> 00:24:54,519 The rolly things. 643 00:24:54,519 --> 00:24:55,559 We don't have any rolly things, 644 00:24:55,559 --> 00:24:58,759 so we can't even smoke it. 645 00:24:58,759 --> 00:24:59,599 As research has proved... 646 00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:01,599 I hear you can eat it, though. 647 00:25:01,599 --> 00:25:02,440 I hear you can. 648 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:03,279 Yeah, you could. 649 00:25:03,279 --> 00:25:04,519 Here's your seat. 650 00:25:04,519 --> 00:25:05,359 You want some? 651 00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:06,180 Well, no chains. 652 00:25:06,180 --> 00:25:07,019 I mean, it's yours. 653 00:25:07,019 --> 00:25:09,240 I would feel real bad taking the first bite, so... 654 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:12,200 I mean, I just had a really big meal, so... 655 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:13,039 Well, we can do it later. 656 00:25:13,039 --> 00:25:13,879 It could be a celebratory thing. 657 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:14,880 We'll just do it later. 658 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,680 Yeah, we'll just do it later after we... 659 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,920 You hear a creaking noise from up above you, 660 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,680 and you look up, and there's a chandelier 661 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:28,920 that is swaying above you, 662 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:33,020 and you hear the sound of rope tearing. 663 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,120 And it begins to fall towards you. 664 00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:39,720 Fuck, I jump out of the way. 665 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,280 Yeah, gonna jump out of the way. 666 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:42,720 You're gonna try to jump out of the way. 667 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:44,680 Everybody roll a D6. 668 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:49,680 I wanna swing, fuck, from the chandelier. 669 00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:53,680 I rolled a net one. 670 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,319 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. 671 00:25:56,319 --> 00:25:57,160 Damn it. 672 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:57,980 I rolled a four. 673 00:25:57,980 --> 00:26:00,319 The second one today. 674 00:26:00,319 --> 00:26:02,200 Okay, so four. 675 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:07,200 So as the chandelier's falling, Dean got a six, 676 00:26:07,319 --> 00:26:08,240 because of course he did. 677 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:09,079 Of course he did. 678 00:26:09,079 --> 00:26:11,559 So Dean launches himself out of the way. 679 00:26:11,559 --> 00:26:14,399 Chains, you get out of the way. 680 00:26:14,399 --> 00:26:18,240 Wait, wait, I have a token for using cool slang. 681 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,599 Oh, then you could roll a secondary die 682 00:26:20,599 --> 00:26:22,000 and spend your token. 683 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:22,819 What was it? 684 00:26:22,819 --> 00:26:23,659 Is that on my site? 685 00:26:23,659 --> 00:26:25,039 A three, that's no better. 686 00:26:26,639 --> 00:26:28,319 I still don't do the thing. 687 00:26:28,319 --> 00:26:29,480 Yeah, you spent a token, 688 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:34,159 and you still also don't do the thing. 689 00:26:34,159 --> 00:26:36,799 Okay, so chains, you jump out of the way. 690 00:26:36,799 --> 00:26:38,559 You make it just in the nick of time, 691 00:26:38,559 --> 00:26:43,559 but you do so, and I feel like this is like 692 00:26:43,839 --> 00:26:45,919 a you're embarrassed in front of the others 693 00:26:45,919 --> 00:26:48,200 because you were probably one of the first 694 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:49,240 to move out of the way, 695 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:50,599 and you've been playing it real cool. 696 00:26:50,599 --> 00:26:54,839 So I'm gonna give you plus one shame for that. 697 00:26:54,839 --> 00:26:55,679 Yep. 698 00:26:56,639 --> 00:27:01,200 And as Dean and Chains turn around and look, 699 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:05,399 Racer is underneath this chandelier 700 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,880 that has fallen down on top of you, wood splintered. 701 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:12,800 You've got bits of wood sticking out of your legs 702 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,420 as you are trying to push it off of you. 703 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,480 I'm gonna say that's gonna be an unwanted attention 704 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:20,880 that's gonna happen there, 705 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:23,640 and a plus one trouble for you. 706 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:24,759 Plus one trouble? 707 00:27:24,759 --> 00:27:26,000 Yeah. 708 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,360 And how much shame am I doing? 709 00:27:28,360 --> 00:27:29,920 Well, you only get one or the other. 710 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:31,720 You can take another shame if you want to, 711 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:33,720 but that means you get to go home earlier. 712 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:35,120 No, I'm good. 713 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:38,360 Guys, I thought that was gonna be a lot lighter. 714 00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:40,200 I was gonna catch it midair. 715 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,040 Are you okay? 716 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:41,880 No, I'm fine. 717 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:43,280 Are you okay? 718 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:44,160 No, I'm good. 719 00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:45,360 You need to go home? 720 00:27:45,360 --> 00:27:47,160 No, I don't need to go home. 721 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:48,160 You know what, it's gonna be- 722 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:49,520 Just saying, it's like, 723 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,200 ah, chandelier fell on me, I need to go home. 724 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,420 Like, you know, some people need to go home 725 00:27:54,420 --> 00:27:56,080 when a chandelier falls off, and that's fine. 726 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:57,960 You know what, this is actually a really good thing 727 00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:01,440 because what's scarier than being beat up 728 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:04,080 by someone covered in their own blood? 729 00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:06,199 I look badass right now, don't I? 730 00:28:06,199 --> 00:28:08,000 You hear from downstairs, 731 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,279 hey, what was that? 732 00:28:09,279 --> 00:28:10,319 Let's go check it out. 733 00:28:10,319 --> 00:28:11,519 And then quick footsteps, 734 00:28:11,519 --> 00:28:13,799 tk tk tk tk tk tk tk, coming up the stairs. 735 00:28:13,799 --> 00:28:16,919 Let's get this chandelier off of you, they're coming. 736 00:28:16,919 --> 00:28:18,679 Okay, get ready, grab your knife. 737 00:28:18,679 --> 00:28:20,879 Jap didn't cack, comes back like, 738 00:28:20,879 --> 00:28:24,480 I think like four seconds before the kobolds do, 739 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,599 and I was, dude, that was fucking useless. 740 00:28:27,599 --> 00:28:28,679 They're coming. 741 00:28:28,679 --> 00:28:29,519 Thanks. 742 00:28:31,199 --> 00:28:33,879 The door bursts open and there are four kobolds 743 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:38,080 who you recognize as Hiv, Nod, Deck, and Tuss. 744 00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,160 And they are all decked out 745 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,720 in their Battle of the Bands garb, 746 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:46,000 which is the slickest of leathers 747 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,640 with studs all over it, 748 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:52,600 and chains hanging from the pockets 749 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:54,640 and wallets that they have. 750 00:28:55,840 --> 00:29:00,760 And one of them has a sweet ax strapped to his back. 751 00:29:00,799 --> 00:29:04,480 An actual ax, not a guitar, obviously. 752 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:06,279 And they say, what are you doing here? 753 00:29:06,279 --> 00:29:08,039 We pushed you down and we took your mushrooms. 754 00:29:08,039 --> 00:29:09,279 We've been having a great time. 755 00:29:09,279 --> 00:29:10,400 Just getting ready. 756 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:12,359 Just getting ready for Battle of the Bands. 757 00:29:12,359 --> 00:29:14,599 Yeah, your horn is gonna sound real good 758 00:29:14,599 --> 00:29:16,480 after you see what was stuffed inside it. 759 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,519 Ha ha ha ha ha. 760 00:29:18,519 --> 00:29:22,200 Ah, shit, it's shit we stuffed inside of his horn. 761 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,400 Chains, take a look at that. 762 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:28,759 Aren't pocket wallet chains, like, out? 763 00:29:28,759 --> 00:29:29,879 So embarrassing. 764 00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:31,880 What do you need to hold on to, your babysitting money? 765 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:33,440 You borrowed that from your dad? 766 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:34,800 What is that? 767 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:38,480 Yeah, I know, it's totally badass, right, Nod? 768 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:40,440 Oh yeah, yeah, it's totally badass. 769 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:41,480 They don't know what they're talking about. 770 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:45,640 Goblins are 10 years behind the times. 771 00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:48,520 I'd say it's as totally badass 772 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,280 as your little acapella singing group 773 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,120 that you do at Battle of the Bands, 774 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:55,680 which doesn't even make sense. 775 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,560 Yeah, it's weird, you guys don't even have instruments. 776 00:29:57,559 --> 00:30:00,519 You just, like, barbershop quartet your way to victory? 777 00:30:00,519 --> 00:30:03,639 And yet we win every time, am I right? 778 00:30:03,639 --> 00:30:04,639 And they all high-five each other. 779 00:30:04,639 --> 00:30:07,319 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we win every time. 780 00:30:07,319 --> 00:30:10,159 So our parents pay off the judges, it's fine. 781 00:30:10,159 --> 00:30:11,000 We win every time. 782 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,159 Oh, they called it, called it. 783 00:30:12,159 --> 00:30:13,359 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 784 00:30:13,359 --> 00:30:15,599 So you can be on your way. 785 00:30:15,599 --> 00:30:17,599 We're gonna get back to practice-ling. 786 00:30:17,599 --> 00:30:20,960 Do, do, me, me, re, fa, sol, la, ti, bo. 787 00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:21,960 Oh, fuck, this guy's winning 788 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:23,639 and he's saying things like practice-ling. 789 00:30:23,639 --> 00:30:24,559 Practice-ling. 790 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:28,599 I wanna take out my animal skull, 791 00:30:28,599 --> 00:30:31,039 which is a cat skull. 792 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:32,839 Okay. 793 00:30:32,839 --> 00:30:36,599 And, I mean, we're at the top of the stairs, yes. 794 00:30:36,599 --> 00:30:37,679 They've come up the stairs. 795 00:30:37,679 --> 00:30:38,519 They've come up the stairs, 796 00:30:38,519 --> 00:30:40,039 they're in the doorway or at the landing. 797 00:30:40,039 --> 00:30:43,679 I wanna chuck it at Dex head. 798 00:30:43,679 --> 00:30:45,119 Great, do you wanna roll? 799 00:30:45,119 --> 00:30:47,200 Yeah, not really, I don't. 800 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,799 This dice is going away, I'm gonna try something new. 801 00:30:49,799 --> 00:30:53,159 All right, huh, that's a fucking three again. 802 00:30:55,519 --> 00:30:56,359 So you don't do nothing. 803 00:30:56,359 --> 00:30:58,200 That's Frank's balls, man. 804 00:31:00,079 --> 00:31:01,399 So you whip this cat skull 805 00:31:01,399 --> 00:31:03,519 and it shatters on the wall behind him. 806 00:31:03,519 --> 00:31:05,000 Next, that's gonna be you. 807 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,000 What'd you do that for? 808 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:06,960 It's gonna be me? 809 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,359 My skull shattered on the back of the wall? 810 00:31:09,359 --> 00:31:11,079 Yeah, or at the bottom of these stairs, 811 00:31:11,079 --> 00:31:12,279 if you're not careful. 812 00:31:14,639 --> 00:31:16,279 Let's fucking rumble then. 813 00:31:16,279 --> 00:31:17,639 Bring it on, little bitch. 814 00:31:17,639 --> 00:31:18,679 Jumps at you. 815 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:21,440 Let's fucking rumble. 816 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:23,519 You're gonna take a plus one shame. 817 00:31:23,519 --> 00:31:24,960 Yeah, yeah, no, I figured. 818 00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:28,759 Okay, Dex jumps at you. 819 00:31:28,759 --> 00:31:30,799 Well, wait a minute, do I have to take plus one shame? 820 00:31:30,799 --> 00:31:32,879 It says plus one shame, plus one trouble, 821 00:31:32,879 --> 00:31:35,240 or I lose or break some equipment. 822 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:36,799 Oh yeah, I guess you broke the cat's head. 823 00:31:36,799 --> 00:31:39,440 I did break your cat, I did break your cat, yeah. 824 00:31:40,559 --> 00:31:42,920 So that checks out. 825 00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:45,480 So Tuss has the axe, 826 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:48,960 Hiv has the wallet chain. 827 00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:50,160 Nod and Dex are there. 828 00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,440 But Dex is jumping at you, he reaches out, 829 00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:54,920 grabs you by the scruff, and he begins shaking you. 830 00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:55,759 What do you do? 831 00:31:55,759 --> 00:31:56,600 Is he shaking me? 832 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:57,440 Who's he shaking? 833 00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:58,279 He's shaking you, 834 00:31:58,279 --> 00:31:59,640 because you threw a cat skull at his head. 835 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:02,559 Hey, stop it, and I punch him. 836 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:05,640 I'm not really great with words. 837 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:06,720 Roll to attack. 838 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,080 Well, that was a one. 839 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:13,759 Okay, you swing, and you punch your friend, Racer. 840 00:32:13,759 --> 00:32:14,880 It's like a sidestep, 841 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:17,360 and then Racer gets clocked in the side of the head. 842 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:18,200 Yeah, yeah. 843 00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,039 Chain the fuck, man. 844 00:32:20,039 --> 00:32:21,519 Help me out, yeah. 845 00:32:21,519 --> 00:32:22,359 Here, I'll hold him. 846 00:32:22,359 --> 00:32:23,200 You punch him. 847 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:24,039 Shit. 848 00:32:24,039 --> 00:32:24,879 No, shit. 849 00:32:24,879 --> 00:32:27,799 Fucking slank, man, that was straight up rude. 850 00:32:27,799 --> 00:32:30,639 So that's gonna be a plus one shame for you, I guess. 851 00:32:30,639 --> 00:32:33,480 Yeah, yeah, I think it is. 852 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:34,960 Dean, do something cool. 853 00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:36,879 Yeah, holds up his lantern, 854 00:32:36,879 --> 00:32:39,639 and shines the shiny part at it, 855 00:32:39,639 --> 00:32:42,279 and tries to blind them. 856 00:32:42,279 --> 00:32:45,359 I need a better dice than this, it's not great. 857 00:32:45,359 --> 00:32:46,839 You rolled a six on that one. 858 00:32:46,839 --> 00:32:47,680 I think you're fine. 859 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:48,519 Okay. 860 00:32:49,359 --> 00:32:50,960 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. 861 00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:52,200 That's a one. 862 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:53,039 So he. 863 00:32:53,039 --> 00:32:55,160 Oh, we wanted Dean to do good, damn it, Russ. 864 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,639 Amy peer pressured me into rolling it, 865 00:32:57,639 --> 00:32:59,480 and we're playing teens. 866 00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:01,839 He holds up his lantern, and then goes to open it, 867 00:33:01,839 --> 00:33:05,200 but opens it the wrong way, and blinds himself, 868 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:06,799 and he stumbles backwards. 869 00:33:06,799 --> 00:33:08,079 He's gonna take a shame. 870 00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:11,359 Oh, God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 871 00:33:11,359 --> 00:33:13,440 That's right, we got you now. 872 00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:15,039 Bring him to the basement, boys. 873 00:33:15,039 --> 00:33:17,359 We'll beat them all up down there. 874 00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:19,200 Everybody's trying to move to grab you. 875 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:20,560 I'll give you everybody an action 876 00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,760 before you get dragged down to the basement. 877 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:28,600 Okay, Racer's gonna pull out his knife. 878 00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,720 He's not gonna stab anybody, 879 00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:33,160 but that pocket knife is coming out. 880 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:34,000 Okay. 881 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:35,400 And I want to intimidate them, be like, 882 00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:36,760 don't make me use this, man. 883 00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:37,760 I'll use it. 884 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:38,720 It won't be the first time 885 00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:40,160 there's been blood on this thing. 886 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:41,680 Roll to intimidate. 887 00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:43,000 That's fucking one. 888 00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,080 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. 889 00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:46,560 You guys. 890 00:33:46,559 --> 00:33:50,359 Oh, that pocket knife, and Tuss holds out the axe. 891 00:33:51,559 --> 00:33:52,879 I looked down, I'm accidentally 892 00:33:52,879 --> 00:33:55,000 taking the corkscrew out instead. 893 00:33:55,919 --> 00:33:57,799 Yeah, you're gonna get all twisty up in here. 894 00:33:57,799 --> 00:33:59,599 Everybody down in the basement. 895 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,639 If Dean's on the ground, 896 00:34:02,639 --> 00:34:05,240 then I'm gonna try and push one of them over Dean, 897 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,079 per our earlier bless. 898 00:34:07,079 --> 00:34:10,039 Okay, roll with advantage. 899 00:34:10,039 --> 00:34:12,199 I think somebody said, shlink. 900 00:34:12,199 --> 00:34:13,559 Whoever said, shlink gets a token. 901 00:34:13,559 --> 00:34:15,880 I did say, shlink, but now we've already put 902 00:34:16,079 --> 00:34:18,000 the corkscrew, so it's all good. 903 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,599 Is it a one, Karla? 904 00:34:19,599 --> 00:34:24,599 Guys, I rolled two dice, and I rolled a one and a two. 905 00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:26,640 Nailed it. 906 00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:27,640 Okay, great. 907 00:34:28,720 --> 00:34:31,680 You know what, this was us in teen years. 908 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:32,640 That's awesome. 909 00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:34,280 What is even happening here? 910 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:37,079 You tell me how that goes wrong. 911 00:34:37,079 --> 00:34:38,800 Well, I think I try and push him, 912 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:40,599 but he probably moves, I was trying to push the one 913 00:34:40,599 --> 00:34:42,800 that pulled out his axe and was moving, 914 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:46,360 and then I kind of go and I trip over Dean 915 00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:48,440 and start to kind of go down the stairs like, 916 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:50,600 ah, that's pretty cool. 917 00:34:53,039 --> 00:34:57,840 All of them are just bent over, howling with laughter 918 00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:00,440 at everything that's playing out in front of them. 919 00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,320 This is not going great. 920 00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:07,320 They usher Dean and Racer down through the stairs 921 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,519 and Chains, you're kind of picking yourself up 922 00:35:10,519 --> 00:35:12,480 at the bottom of the stairs. 923 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,240 Don't worry, guys, I didn't break this. 924 00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:17,400 I pulled out my booze bottle. 925 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:18,240 Everything's fine. 926 00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:19,079 Oh, great. 927 00:35:19,079 --> 00:35:21,760 Hiv walks by you and tries to snatch it. 928 00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:24,159 That's a six for Hiv. 929 00:35:24,159 --> 00:35:27,079 I'll give you a couple, if you roll a six, 930 00:35:27,079 --> 00:35:27,920 you get to keep it. 931 00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:29,719 You guys get to fight over it fairly. 932 00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:31,440 No, that was a four. 933 00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:33,159 You lose your bottle of liquor. 934 00:35:33,159 --> 00:35:34,280 I give him a good fight. 935 00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:35,840 And you also take one shot. 936 00:35:37,039 --> 00:35:41,760 He takes a big swig, yeah, you hear the door slam shut 937 00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:44,120 at the top of the stairs. 938 00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:45,680 And you notice that all four of them 939 00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:47,320 are already downstairs. 940 00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:49,720 And did Japtain Cat Sparrow come, 941 00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:50,720 he's down here with us too. 942 00:35:50,720 --> 00:35:54,080 He just followed along to probably laugh at us as well. 943 00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:55,120 Doing a great job. 944 00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,000 Frank's balls. 945 00:35:58,000 --> 00:35:59,920 The three of you are like thrown down to the ground 946 00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:02,600 and you look around and there are, 947 00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:05,320 there's not a lot of things. 948 00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:07,680 There's a couple of boxes down here. 949 00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:11,120 There are more bottles that are empty and tipped over. 950 00:36:11,119 --> 00:36:12,920 Some look like they've been spilled. 951 00:36:14,119 --> 00:36:17,559 And as they're all like cracking their knuckles 952 00:36:17,559 --> 00:36:19,199 and moving towards you to give you 953 00:36:19,199 --> 00:36:21,960 just the biggest of beatings, 954 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:24,960 as much as a kobold can do to a goblin, 955 00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:31,239 you hear like this eerie sound of wind cut through. 956 00:36:33,159 --> 00:36:38,159 All three of you who are facing the oncoming kobolds 957 00:36:38,559 --> 00:36:41,279 get like a chill down your spine 958 00:36:41,279 --> 00:36:45,440 as you see like this eerie light begin to emanate 959 00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:47,440 in the middle of the room before you. 960 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:49,440 What the heck is that? 961 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,799 I mean, hell, what the hell is that? 962 00:36:51,799 --> 00:36:53,599 Yeah, what even is that? 963 00:36:53,599 --> 00:36:55,119 Oh, you're gonna try and trick us. 964 00:36:55,119 --> 00:36:56,239 What's that behind you? 965 00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:58,279 It's probably something big and scary. 966 00:36:58,279 --> 00:37:00,559 All right, beat them up, boys. 967 00:37:00,559 --> 00:37:03,039 Actually, you can roll to see if that works. 968 00:37:04,279 --> 00:37:05,119 Both of you can roll. 969 00:37:05,119 --> 00:37:06,159 I mean, I was being honest. 970 00:37:06,159 --> 00:37:07,000 I got a five. 971 00:37:07,039 --> 00:37:08,519 I still only rolled a three, 972 00:37:08,519 --> 00:37:11,440 so I wasn't convincing even though I was telling the truth. 973 00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:16,119 You weren't convincing enough to make Deck turn and look. 974 00:37:16,119 --> 00:37:19,719 And as Hiv and the others continue to move towards you, 975 00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:22,239 Deck turns around and he starts patting 976 00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:24,119 on the shoulder of everybody else. 977 00:37:24,119 --> 00:37:26,639 And it's, oh, what, what, what, what, what? 978 00:37:26,639 --> 00:37:28,440 And all of them turn. 979 00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:30,519 There's like this flash of light around it 980 00:37:30,519 --> 00:37:35,119 and it looks like the figure of a stout goblin 981 00:37:35,159 --> 00:37:39,279 with a fat stogie in his mouth. 982 00:37:39,279 --> 00:37:42,000 And all of them just kind of drop the things, 983 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:45,039 the chains and the ax that they're holding 984 00:37:45,039 --> 00:37:47,599 and try to make for the stairs. 985 00:37:47,599 --> 00:37:49,400 I wanna try to trip them on their way. 986 00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:50,239 Okay, go for it. 987 00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:52,159 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 988 00:37:52,159 --> 00:37:53,359 That was a five. That was a two. 989 00:37:53,359 --> 00:37:54,599 Wait, I have my token. 990 00:37:54,599 --> 00:37:55,440 You got a token. 991 00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:56,279 Yeah, it's a three. 992 00:37:56,279 --> 00:37:59,359 So you reach out and trip 993 00:37:59,359 --> 00:38:01,119 and one of them just kind of steps on your ankle. 994 00:38:01,119 --> 00:38:03,279 Oh, fuck, Jesus. 995 00:38:03,279 --> 00:38:04,319 But you managed to trip. 996 00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:05,480 Who are you trying to trip? 997 00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:07,720 I don't know, one of the ones that was there. 998 00:38:07,720 --> 00:38:10,080 The one with the ax. Realistically. 999 00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:11,400 Oh yeah, that's what I meant. 1000 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:14,160 The one with the ax, not the weak lame one. 1001 00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:15,360 The tough one, that's the one. 1002 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,400 So you're gonna trip Tuss. 1003 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:18,880 Tuss had the ax. 1004 00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:20,240 You trip Tuss and he goes down 1005 00:38:20,240 --> 00:38:22,120 and his friends bolt up the stairs 1006 00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:25,680 and this ghostly figure comes down 1007 00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,800 and picks the kobold up in front of you 1008 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,320 and begins shaking him. 1009 00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:32,800 Tuss is just screaming 1010 00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:36,560 and you see Tuss begin to release spores, 1011 00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:38,320 I think is what Dean said. 1012 00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:41,160 He begins to pee his pants in front of you. 1013 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:43,440 Oh, jeez. 1014 00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:46,160 I mean, it's a ghost and stuff, but. 1015 00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:49,480 You saw that, put me down, let me go. 1016 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:52,320 No amount of leather can cover that up, man. 1017 00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:53,160 No. 1018 00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:56,240 The ghost lets out this ghastly scream 1019 00:38:56,240 --> 00:39:00,039 and rushes through the body of this kobold 1020 00:39:00,039 --> 00:39:01,640 who collapses to the ground 1021 00:39:02,359 --> 00:39:03,519 and he's passed out. 1022 00:39:03,519 --> 00:39:05,319 It doesn't look like he's hurt or anything, 1023 00:39:05,319 --> 00:39:07,400 but it looks like he just fainted. 1024 00:39:08,559 --> 00:39:10,759 Holy crap, that was wild, oh my gosh. 1025 00:39:10,759 --> 00:39:11,920 Yeah, I mean, fear faint, 1026 00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:13,599 I've seen that a hundred times though. 1027 00:39:13,599 --> 00:39:14,799 He's just scared, it's fine. 1028 00:39:14,799 --> 00:39:17,039 I mean, this guy's like a goblin too, 1029 00:39:17,039 --> 00:39:18,239 so he's cool, right? 1030 00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:19,879 Yeah, are you like Mr. Haunted? 1031 00:39:19,879 --> 00:39:20,719 Right? 1032 00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:22,599 The ghost doesn't say anything, 1033 00:39:22,599 --> 00:39:25,759 but begins to, he moves his face 1034 00:39:25,759 --> 00:39:28,159 and he's got this gnarled up face, 1035 00:39:28,159 --> 00:39:33,159 big crooked nose, what looks like a burning cigar 1036 00:39:33,639 --> 00:39:35,599 and he goes like face to face with you 1037 00:39:35,599 --> 00:39:38,239 and then goes back to the center of the room 1038 00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:39,399 and just disperses. 1039 00:39:39,399 --> 00:39:42,279 And then what light was in the room 1040 00:39:42,279 --> 00:39:44,279 begins to come back around you. 1041 00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:48,480 That was fucking wild, man. 1042 00:39:50,679 --> 00:39:54,679 I mean, he was like, he's on our side though, right? 1043 00:39:54,679 --> 00:39:57,159 So like, I feel like we won the fight 1044 00:39:57,159 --> 00:39:58,759 because like one of them is down. 1045 00:39:58,759 --> 00:39:59,639 Listen. 1046 00:39:59,639 --> 00:40:00,839 And none of us are down. 1047 00:40:00,839 --> 00:40:04,159 Three of us are here, two ran away like babies. 1048 00:40:04,159 --> 00:40:06,839 I say we tie up their friend, drag them upstairs. 1049 00:40:06,839 --> 00:40:07,960 You got that rope? 1050 00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:09,440 Yeah, yeah, I got some rope. 1051 00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:11,519 Let's take them upstairs. 1052 00:40:11,519 --> 00:40:14,079 I'm just gonna go get my horn from the corner here. 1053 00:40:14,079 --> 00:40:15,199 You don't wanna wash that, oh. 1054 00:40:15,199 --> 00:40:18,199 Yeah, I mean, you're gonna need like a bag or something 1055 00:40:18,199 --> 00:40:20,079 like you're gonna need that. 1056 00:40:20,079 --> 00:40:22,079 I can smell from here. 1057 00:40:22,079 --> 00:40:24,719 I'll put it in this box and he takes a box 1058 00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:27,680 and scoops it up inside and carries the box out 1059 00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:32,200 as you're dragging Tuss back up the stairs. 1060 00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:42,480 We cut back to the alleyway behind the convenience store 1061 00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:47,480 where Dean is pouring some muddy liquid through the horn. 1062 00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:53,400 It'll be fine, right? 1063 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,680 It'll be fine, you're gonna totally like, 1064 00:40:56,680 --> 00:41:00,200 you're gonna win because you're amazing on that horn 1065 00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:04,920 and like no one, yeah, no one's even gonna know 1066 00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:06,000 about that whole thing. 1067 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,920 Definitely probably not gonna get like some sort 1068 00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:12,320 of communicable disease from blowing into that thing. 1069 00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:13,200 Just make sure. 1070 00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:14,280 I'm sure it's fine. 1071 00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:15,480 Okay, good, good. 1072 00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:17,119 Well, they're down a person too, 1073 00:41:17,119 --> 00:41:20,960 cause I don't know, Tuss, Tuss slaps Tuss 1074 00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:22,360 who you brought with you. 1075 00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:25,519 He's still passed out. 1076 00:41:25,519 --> 00:41:28,039 So if we can just hide Tuss till after the battle 1077 00:41:28,039 --> 00:41:30,400 of the bands, I think we'll be okay. 1078 00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:32,640 Let's put him in this dumpster. 1079 00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:36,200 Yeah, let's put him in this dumpster. 1080 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,599 This is the final scene of the three of you 1081 00:41:38,599 --> 00:41:41,640 trying to push Tuss up and into the dumpster. 1082 00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:42,519 You want me to roll for that? 1083 00:41:42,519 --> 00:41:44,599 Yeah, everybody roll for that. 1084 00:41:44,599 --> 00:41:45,680 Oh, I was a six. 1085 00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:47,800 That's you. 1086 00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:50,120 Nothing but net. 1087 00:41:50,159 --> 00:41:53,639 You slip on the brown liquid and take one more shame 1088 00:41:54,519 --> 00:41:59,519 as Chains and Dean push Tuss up and into the dumpster 1089 00:41:59,920 --> 00:42:00,759 with a loud. 1090 00:42:02,759 --> 00:42:06,480 And as we move up and over the town of Slankston, 1091 00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:11,480 we hear the sound of pebbles being moved away 1092 00:42:12,119 --> 00:42:15,119 and rolling down some hills. 1093 00:42:15,119 --> 00:42:18,799 We see the ears of some of the goblins 1094 00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:21,440 perking up around the perimeter. 1095 00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:25,200 We see a tiny hole forming and a couple little hands 1096 00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,640 poking through, pulling some dirt back inside 1097 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,560 whatever tunnel lies beyond the other side. 1098 00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:35,039 And poking through, we see the two eyes of Alydin 1099 00:42:35,039 --> 00:42:38,600 who appears to have stumbled upon the goblin village. 1100 00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:40,519 Alydin, what do you see? 1101 00:42:41,660 --> 00:42:46,660 Goblins, lots and lots of goblins. 1102 00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:53,800 Dumbgeons and Dragons season three, episode 14. 1103 00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:01,480 This episode starred Amy More as Racer and Alydin. 1104 00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:05,200 Carla Maxted as Chains and Russ More as your Game Master. 1105 00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:07,800 Dialogue editing and sound design by Russ More. 1106 00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:10,320 This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound 1107 00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:12,440 and sound effects from Epidemic Sound, 1108 00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:14,800 Boom Library and Sound Ideas. 1109 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,160 Our amazing cover art and character designs 1110 00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:18,400 are by Matt Garbutt. 1111 00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:21,440 The game we played today was Goblin Punks by Grant Howitt. 1112 00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:22,760 Look in the description, there's a link. 1113 00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:24,400 You can go buy it for yourself. 1114 00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:26,720 And a huge thank you to our supporting producers, 1115 00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:29,800 Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak, Cat Waterflame, 1116 00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:31,680 Jacob Madden, Christian Brown, 1117 00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:33,800 Ongar Onkirson, Perry Matey, 1118 00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:36,360 Craig Zeiss, Old School Gamer D, 1119 00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:39,360 L.A. Branton, Nathaniel Teeter and Aaron. 1120 00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:41,840 If you'd like to hear the setup for this game 1121 00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:43,559 where we figure out the characters 1122 00:43:43,559 --> 00:43:45,599 and what kind of sweet teen gear 1123 00:43:45,639 --> 00:43:48,639 that everybody has on and is carrying on them, 1124 00:43:48,639 --> 00:43:50,000 all that paraphernalia, 1125 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,839 well, we have it over on Patreon, 1126 00:43:51,839 --> 00:43:53,880 patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast. 1127 00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:55,559 This week it's in our downtime, 1128 00:43:55,559 --> 00:43:58,599 which is normally a little breakdown after the episode, 1129 00:43:58,599 --> 00:44:00,440 but this one's the setup. 1130 00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:01,480 We're doing it backwards. 1131 00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:02,920 We do whatever we want over there 1132 00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:04,199 and we want you to join us. 1133 00:44:04,199 --> 00:44:06,279 Again, patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast. 1134 00:44:06,279 --> 00:44:07,719 We hope to see you over there. 1135 00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:09,000 You have a great week though. 1136 00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:10,440 This is the end of the episode. 1137 00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:11,480 I'm just filling time 1138 00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:14,039 until this big music crescendo comes. 1139 00:44:14,039 --> 00:44:14,880 We'll talk to you soon. 1140 00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:15,800 Bye-bye. 1141 00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:19,920 Two teens are seated in their respective home, 1142 00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:21,360 just waking up for the morning. 1143 00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:23,519 Yes, they're seated and they're just waking up. 1144 00:44:23,519 --> 00:44:24,360 Two teens- 1145 00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:25,480 Are we in the same home? 1146 00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:28,240 Do you, I guess that's a question. 1147 00:44:28,240 --> 00:44:29,079 Are we siblings? 1148 00:44:29,079 --> 00:44:30,640 You said they're respective homes, 1149 00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:32,519 which means two different homes. 1150 00:44:32,519 --> 00:44:34,519 Hold on, are you siblings or are you not siblings? 1151 00:44:34,519 --> 00:44:35,360 Fuck no. 1152 00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:36,200 I don't think we're siblings. 1153 00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:37,240 You're not gonna hang with your siblings. 1154 00:44:37,240 --> 00:44:38,760 I don't wanna hang out with my, 1155 00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:41,800 that would be so schlank to hang out with my sibling. 1156 00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:44,880 Hell yeah, that's fucking schlank, man. 1157 00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:45,720 Let's do that. 1158 00:44:45,720 --> 00:44:46,560 God. 1159 00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:47,519 I was bored anyway. 1160 00:44:47,519 --> 00:44:48,880 Well, you get a token. 1161 00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:53,160 That's fun. 1162 00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:54,160 That's fun. 1163 00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:58,480 Japt and Cack Sparrow might be the best thing 1164 00:44:58,480 --> 00:44:59,680 I've ever come up with. 1165 00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:00,519 It's very good. 1166 00:45:00,519 --> 00:45:02,080 And I feel like I've peaked. 1167 00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:05,039 We've only just started. 1168 00:45:05,039 --> 00:45:06,760 I know. It's fine. 1169 00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:08,360 Is that how you get shame? 1170 00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:09,920 How do you get shame? 1171 00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:11,039 It was implied shame. 1172 00:45:11,039 --> 00:45:14,599 Shame you can get if you roll a four to five. 1173 00:45:14,599 --> 00:45:16,559 When you roll it, it doesn't work. 1174 00:45:16,559 --> 00:45:18,920 You can't, I can't just shame you. 1175 00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:21,559 Shame. 1176 00:45:21,559 --> 00:45:24,159 Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.