[0.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin in just a moment.
[8.6s] The Road to Vintersmouth from Kingstown is a several day journey by walk, a two or three
[14.6s] day journey by horse or carriage, and being that you're out on your own for the first
[19.3s] time, Bizard, what is your preferred or chosen mode of transport here?
[27.3s] Would you walk the entire way to give you time to think, give you time to plan, or would
[33.0s] you hitch a ride on a caravan?
[35.6s] I would have hitched a ride with a caravan, having had to take dealings and like learning
[41.4s] how to make items and objects for the school and part of my training.
[46.1s] I got to know some of the merchants here and there, and I got set up with a merchant
[53.4s] that I, you know, we're good, we're well acquainted.
[57.9s] Steve's a good guy, deals in like metals and barrels and stuff like that, very, very
[63.3s] mundane kind of stuff, but so I took some of the, some of the money that I was able
[68.9s] to acquire leaving my father's house to get a ride down to Vintersmouth, able
[75.6s] to have a little bit of a conversation with Steve along the way to learn what he knows
[80.6s] about Vintersmouth and get an insight into some of the city and maybe where I should
[86.4s] go and took notes on those things.
[89.4s] And then the rest of it kind of just, yeah, plotted, plotted my course of action for
[96.1s] the next few months.
[97.3s] What I, what I wanted to aspire to set up my, my 30, 60, 90, let's call it
[102.6s] that. So yeah, that's a good plan to have when you're setting up a new business.
[106.8s] That's right. Riding up next to Steve, you round a bend and the forest before you
[114.5s] opens into the town of Vintersmouth, often to the left of the river that you've
[119.3s] been riding beside up to this point, there is the noble district and notably
[125.2s] missing from how we've described this city is the, in the time so far,
[134.0s] because we're a little bit earlier, there's no major military barracks at this point.
[140.4s] There is a clear distinction between the two sides of the city.
[143.9s] So we go from the noble district, often to the north of the river and the
[148.7s] artisan district, which borders the river itself, which feeds off of all the
[153.6s] trades that comes in and off of there.
[157.3s] And then further back, which is much more obscured and you can't quite see
[163.3s] into the forest, into the verboten forest, is more of a criminal syndicate
[169.6s] area, which Steve, in his time spent in Vintersmouth, has warned you to avoid,
[175.9s] if at least not for the first little while, while you get your feet
[179.0s] underneath you. Steve pulls into the shipping lanes, basically, and he's got
[185.3s] merchandise to offload and to sell you.
[187.5s] You hop down off of the carriage and Steve gives you a firm handshake and
[190.9s] says, well, I wish the best for you.
[193.5s] If you need anything, I'm here once a week.
[195.8s] Thanks, Steve. I hope to see you again soon and hope that your, you know,
[201.0s] merchanting goes well.
[203.0s] And maybe I'll ask you for some business advice.
[206.5s] Hopefully, hopefully I'll be merchanting myself soon enough.
[211.6s] So may our paths cross again.
[212.9s] Yeah, you got a good head on your shoulders, kid.
[214.6s] I hope so. Thanks, Steve.
[216.9s] He gets a call from the other side of the docks and pats you on the back.
[220.8s] As you start to walk away and you make your way into the crowded
[225.4s] streets of the artisan districts and the storefronts and the different
[230.8s] displays are all overflowing into the streets.
[234.0s] And the town is, well, it's not quite as busy as you're used to in
[238.5s] Kingstown, but it is considerably busier than you would expect for the
[242.4s] size of the city as it was described to you in many of your comings and
[247.4s] goings of people who have been further than you have.
[251.8s] You're walking through when you see smiles on everybody's faces.
[257.0s] There's kids running around with streamers and sparklers and one of them
[260.8s] bumps into you and says, oh, sorry, mister.
[264.0s] It's OK. Where did you get this?
[266.0s] Where did you get this sparkler?
[267.2s] Oh, there's a general store around the corner.
[270.6s] They sell some of these cool knickknacks.
[274.2s] Our friends really, really like them.
[276.8s] Do you mind if I see it real quick?
[278.1s] Oh, sure.
[279.0s] And he hands it up to you and it's fizzing down to the end.
[282.4s] I take it and I wrap my hand around it and whisper some soft words.
[289.9s] And I whisper Ignatius.
[293.0s] And it kind of flares back up, creating like these little
[296.8s] butterflies of fire that like float off of it.
[300.1s] And I hand it back to him as they just kind of whisper round.
[303.4s] Wow. Oh, come look at this.
[306.7s] And a few more kids run over and they say, he just he just did.
[310.2s] He turned it into butterflies.
[312.0s] Thanks, mister.
[312.9s] And they all run off and you see the butterflies
[315.0s] floating away as they run off into the distance.
[317.7s] I continue my way down the streets and kind of rub my temple slightly.
[324.3s] And my eye winces as I walk away.
[328.1s] You're at a fork in the road and off to one side,
[331.9s] you hear the cacophony of blacksmith and farriers and the carpenters
[337.4s] and the metal workers and you hear coming from a district
[340.9s] known as the hot block, hot block.
[342.4s] But as you're starting to walk down there to see what you can see,
[346.7s] you turn and you look down Charles Street
[351.3s] and down at the end, your eye is caught by this very small storefront,
[356.6s] which doesn't even look like it's been occupied for quite some time.
[362.8s] You make your way down there
[364.1s] and it's sandwiched between two very busy shops, one a hair salon,
[369.4s] the snip and twirl, and another looks like a tailor
[374.1s] with many people coming out who are now in freshly adorned clothes.
[378.8s] It's called the threads of fate.
[382.0s] And as much as there is happening on either side of them,
[385.8s] this unoccupied little plot of land is calling to you.
[390.2s] Kind of look it over.
[392.2s] Notice the awning out front of it is a little like off kilter.
[397.0s] Maybe the wood is rotted away slightly.
[399.5s] The metal joist that is holding it together has rusted and rotted away as well.
[405.6s] The shingles are half missing.
[408.0s] There's a broken window.
[409.8s] And I look at it and I say,
[412.9s] I must have her.
[414.4s] She will be mine.
[416.0s] This is my place.
[418.0s] No other will be it.
[421.5s] Who do I talk to?
[422.6s] Who do I talk to?
[423.9s] One of the business owners.
[425.8s] Certainly, this place wouldn't cost too much.
[429.7s] And I look at my clothes covered in road dirt
[433.7s] and then catch my reflection in the in the remaining glass of the window,
[439.0s] seeing my very messy tangle of hair.
[443.2s] And I say, I don't feel comfortable walking into either of those places.
[449.2s] But if we are going to sell, the first thing we must sell is ourself.
[455.3s] We're worth it.
[456.8s] Mom believes in us.
[458.1s] We should believe in us.
[460.3s] And I flip a coin
[463.3s] and I turn to the snip and twirl and walk in.
[467.4s] And as you walk in, the scene of this small shop fades
[471.2s] and it fades into a storefront that is equally bustling
[475.4s] as the snip and twirl and the threads of fate.
[478.4s] And a sign hangs above the storefront door
[480.9s] as children and their parents are rushing in and out of the door.
[485.8s] What does the sign look like and say?
[489.6s] The sign says the magic closet
[493.9s] and the imagery on it is literally a child's room.
[499.6s] That's actually my room.
[501.7s] And inside, you can see next to the bed,
[506.0s] there is an open door leading into a closet with not clothes,
[510.7s] but a sparkler with flaming butterflies coming off of it,
[517.9s] dancing around.
[519.4s] And as it blows in the wind, hangs there, kind of moves,
[523.2s] it almost gives the essence of the butterflies dancing around.
[527.8s] And a child sitting in this closet below them, eyes in wonder.
[535.2s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons,
[537.7s] a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast.
[540.4s] I'm your dungeon master, Russ More, he, him,
[543.4s] and Dumbgeons and Dragons stars today,
[545.7s] Kyle Klasset as Bizard the Wizard.
[549.1s] I don't like to say anything is impossible, so we'll see.
[552.2s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production
[555.1s] and we make a whole bunch of different shows.
[557.0s] You should check out Facing Fate, where we play a bunch of different games.
[560.2s] It's all improvised still and is a lot of fun.
[563.2s] Go check that out.
[564.2s] But then join us over on Patreon, where you can help us
[566.6s] build the world we're creating here, as well as listen
[569.4s] to a whole slew of other bonus content.
[572.1s] It's a whole other show over there.
[573.7s] All right. Fuck it. Let's play.
[587.0s] The Magic Closet's been open for a good year,
[597.5s] and it's been a prosperous year.
[600.0s] Your skills and your joy for life and fun and happiness
[605.0s] has spread throughout the city.
[607.4s] And you are a frequent stop by not only many of the children in town,
[613.6s] but just about everybody has been there at least once.
[619.4s] But many come on regular occasions for the latest
[623.3s] knickknacks and small magical toys and artifacts
[627.0s] that can bring their party and their day to life
[630.2s] and just bring a smile to them.
[632.8s] Yes, yes. The Arcane Accoutrement.
[636.8s] It is an incredibly busy day for you.
[639.8s] Things have been cleared off the shelves.
[642.5s] You're down to the last few little pieces.
[644.8s] And it's just about closing time as you see the final customers out the door.
[649.8s] And as you go to shut and lock it, there's a hand that comes
[653.8s] and pushes on the door as if trying to enter and says,
[658.0s] excuse me, pardon me.
[660.3s] Oh, sorry, I did not mean to catch your hand in the door.
[664.0s] Please, please come on in.
[665.0s] I have I have a few more minutes.
[667.0s] And of course, I'm not going to be going anywhere else after this.
[669.5s] I was just going to be heading up for a nice cup of tea.
[671.4s] So please, please come into the magic closet.
[673.9s] How can I help you today?
[675.5s] Entering is the sheriff of Vintersmouth.
[678.8s] He's dressed in the finest garb.
[681.3s] He has gold plated armor and he's followed by two burly guardsmen.
[686.6s] He has a giant handlebar mustache
[690.0s] and a small soul patch that extends down his chin.
[693.6s] And his hair is completely slicked back.
[696.0s] And he is holding underneath his arm a well
[701.1s] sculpted helmet.
[703.3s] He says, you're relatively new in town.
[709.7s] Well, the new mayor, Nigel Knobs,
[713.1s] he's putting in some new taxation forms.
[717.2s] Not sure if you've heard of them.
[719.2s] They were released at the latest Business Association meeting, but
[723.4s] wanted to make sure that you had those ready, as today is due day.
[729.2s] He kind of rolls up his sleeves as if as he and the other two men
[733.6s] are pushing their way a little further into your store.
[737.5s] Oh, well, I actually I business has been rather good.
[742.2s] And yes, I've only been here a little over a year now at this point.
[746.5s] But Vintersmouth has been very kind, very welcoming.
[750.1s] Feels very much like a second home already.
[753.5s] So I certainly wouldn't want to take away from the prosperity of the city.
[758.5s] And unfortunately, due to my business, I was not able to make the business meeting.
[763.6s] But that is well within your right
[767.6s] as a as a governmental entity to impose taxes
[771.4s] upon the businesses that do businesses within them.
[774.6s] I only ask, well, two things first.
[779.8s] That is a dapper cut you have and quite a
[783.8s] I wish I could grow a nice
[786.7s] mustache and beard like you have there.
[789.3s] Did you happen to stop at the snip and twirl earlier to get a touch up?
[792.9s] Because it absolutely looks fantastic.
[796.0s] Very suiting, very, very kind of you to say.
[800.3s] And Sheriff Celador.
[802.6s] Oh, Sheriff Celador.
[804.7s] Of course, heard the name.
[806.6s] I think it's probably a good thing.
[807.8s] I have not had the pleasure to meet you.
[810.0s] I feel like most would probably be on the wrong side of meeting you. Yes.
[813.2s] Yes, yes.
[814.4s] Now, most of the people who meet me end up on the blocks, unfortunately.
[818.2s] And we don't want that to happen to you now, do we?
[821.8s] Oh, most certainly not. Most certainly not.
[824.2s] But I would ask a second thing,
[827.5s] and that would be an opportunity to have an audience with the mayor.
[832.7s] I would love to be able to discuss an arrangement
[835.6s] because I understand that not many do what I do in this city.
[840.6s] And in fact, when I say not many, I mean no one.
[844.4s] No one can.
[845.8s] Yeah, there's a certain niche that you've managed to fill and fill quite well.
[851.1s] Perhaps an agreement between me and Mayor Knapps could be reached to where
[855.4s] I provide certain services in lieu of being taxed.
[860.4s] This would be his decision.
[861.6s] I don't expect you to speak for him.
[863.4s] It would be very preposterous to expect you to be able to give me
[866.4s] an answer right now.
[867.8s] So if you would if you would grant me
[872.5s] that window of time to meet with the mayor,
[876.4s] I will arrive to the meeting, taxation in hand.
[881.1s] And I only hope that I'm able to leave with it in hand
[884.2s] and an accord struck between the two parties.
[887.2s] Would this be something you could grant or would you have to return
[890.4s] to the mayor to get approval?
[892.8s] Oh, we can make an arrangement.
[895.4s] I don't know about leaving with it in hand,
[898.2s] but if you think you can sweet talk the mayor,
[902.4s] unlike anybody else before you, absolutely, absolutely.
[907.0s] He's, well, he's taking advantage of his first term here.
[912.1s] He's trying to make a good impression on the city.
[915.7s] And part of that is not bending to too many people.
[920.0s] If you know what I mean.
[921.6s] Oh, absolutely.
[923.5s] My my father was a businessman in Kingstown
[928.5s] and paying taxes was a normal part of business,
[932.5s] something that I helped him out with regularly.
[935.6s] So I understand the necessity for a leader to be unbending, as you put it.
[942.6s] Now, one thing I do know is
[946.4s] I've seen about every face in this town,
[949.6s] whether they be on the good side of the law or the bad side of the law.
[955.3s] I've met and talked with a lot of people
[958.4s] in the little bit of time I've been here.
[960.9s] So a point of communication that reaches far and wide is
[965.2s] certainly beneficial for somebody in power to learn things from.
[972.3s] And that doesn't even account for
[975.7s] the magical abilities that I can provide.
[978.7s] You see, my magic comes at a price.
[982.1s] It is not just done on a whim.
[985.7s] And if their quest is made and I owe a favor to the mayor,
[989.6s] then I suffer the cost.
[991.6s] Of course, these wrinkles here, you think they're laugh lines.
[997.4s] No, they are payment.
[1002.3s] No, they make me look dapper, yes.
[1004.9s] But they're not supposed to be there quite yet.
[1009.0s] This is the price I pay.
[1011.7s] You bring the tax payments and we'll see about what arrangement you have for the mayor.
[1018.5s] I really appreciate the the Wiggle Room, Sheriff Celador, and
[1025.0s] it was a fantastic first meeting.
[1027.0s] I'm sure we will have plenty of future meetings.
[1032.8s] If I have my way and they will all be.
[1036.5s] I think we'll make better friends than you think we will.
[1041.1s] And if you are ever having a party, please, please, please come see me.
[1044.3s] I have some things that would absolutely dazzle your guests.
[1047.8s] I would love to show them to you.
[1049.0s] But as you can see, these shelves are quite bare from today's work.
[1054.9s] That being said, if you'd like to purchase,
[1057.6s] I have some little poppers you throw them on the ground.
[1060.7s] They pop, make a loud thing.
[1062.0s] You know, if if you're looking for something for do you have kids?
[1065.2s] I do. Two of them.
[1067.4s] Well, if you want something to entertain your children.
[1070.4s] Wait, what are the names?
[1072.0s] I may have met them before.
[1073.7s] Jason Testa. Jason Testa.
[1076.4s] OK, well, I know that they have not gotten these yet.
[1080.2s] So you bring these home and I reach down and I grab a little box
[1084.7s] and I put them in his hand and say, you bring these home.
[1087.6s] They will be marveled.
[1089.4s] You will. You will be the cool dad.
[1093.7s] He looks down at them and shrugs and says,
[1096.9s] if you say so, slips them into his pocket and says, tomorrow
[1102.4s] three o'clock tomorrow, three o'clock.
[1105.2s] I'll make sure doors are closed and the coffers are packed
[1109.6s] in case things don't go the way I hope they do.
[1112.8s] Because, again, no need for me to be on the wrong side of the law here.
[1116.1s] I've enjoyed my time in Vintersmouth.
[1117.8s] You all have created a fantastic town.
[1120.8s] All right, guys, next house.
[1123.7s] And they open the door and without turning back, he calls tomorrow.
[1127.9s] Don't be late.
[1129.2s] Wouldn't dream of it. Have a great day. Ta ta.
[1133.2s] It's the middle.
[1137.3s] Welcome to the middle, everybody.
[1138.7s] How are you doing?
[1140.6s] Thanks for being here.
[1143.0s] Hopefully you're having just the most wonderful time.
[1145.8s] We we that's that's what I'm putting out into the universe.
[1149.1s] How about having the most wonderful time?
[1151.2s] Yeah, absolutely.
[1152.7s] I'm hanging out with all my friends here.
[1154.7s] Oh, hey, class, it's how's it going?
[1157.6s] It's a great time to be here.
[1158.8s] I'm never going anywhere else.
[1160.4s] Never going anywhere else.
[1161.7s] I mean, I want him back as long as you never get off the call.
[1165.0s] I'm just always here.
[1166.1s] And you all just happen to join on.
[1167.5s] Just keeps the room alive.
[1169.2s] Yeah, we change rooms every single time, too.
[1172.1s] But he's got to have like lots open, always go.
[1175.2s] Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
[1177.9s] Really loving getting to know
[1179.8s] Bizard the Wizard more, which Tom, you when you came onto the call,
[1183.4s] you gave an interesting interpretation of that name.
[1185.8s] Yes, I went with a bizarre, bizarre, bizarre.
[1189.4s] I mean, but weren't you part of the original conversation?
[1192.5s] Yes. Oh, absolutely.
[1193.7s] OK, but I rolled in and I was like, I like the sound of that today.
[1196.8s] Is also the one who refuses to pronounce flammacans.
[1200.0s] Truth? No, you know what you're referring to us.
[1204.9s] Tom will just make a small decision.
[1207.2s] Just roll with it forever. Forever.
[1211.0s] Amy's not here right now, but maybe she'll roll in later like the last one.
[1215.0s] Who knows? We'll see how that goes.
[1216.7s] But what we want to tell you is next month
[1220.2s] helmed by our regular cast member, Kyle Claset, is we will begin
[1225.1s] our cyberpunk red sessions with our session zero,
[1229.8s] where we come up with characters and life paths and all that sort of cool stuff.
[1233.6s] And it's very exciting.
[1235.5s] Heck, yes, it was so fun.
[1238.0s] I'm so excited for everyone to hear it.
[1239.6s] And I'm so excited to start playing. Oh, my God.
[1243.2s] Yeah, I'm so stoked after doing the life path and you like go through.
[1246.8s] And it's so comprehensive. It's so great.
[1249.1s] They're like really molding who we are before anything happens.
[1253.8s] And I'm really excited.
[1255.6s] There's like some animation I need to watch.
[1259.4s] There's some books I need to read.
[1262.1s] The end of the the Netflix series,
[1265.9s] Edgerunners, Edgerunners, the first episode, watched it.
[1270.6s] It's such a scary world.
[1272.1s] I didn't like I knew, but I didn't know.
[1275.1s] Yes, it can be very, very dark, very bleak.
[1278.2s] But that's OK.
[1279.1s] We can bring some levity to it and still have a lot of fun.
[1282.8s] And that's exactly what we're going to do.
[1284.6s] So when you sign up on Patreon, patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast,
[1288.2s] you get a seven day free trial, which is great.
[1290.8s] Come in, dip your toes, test the waters.
[1293.0s] And then you'll be like, you know, of course, I'm staying like like Kyle does.
[1298.3s] And also, when you're a patron for three months, we ship you merch.
[1303.3s] So it's either a sticker at the five dollar tier.
[1307.6s] Oh, shit, I forgot a mug.
[1309.7s] Yeah, a mug at the sporting producers tier and a sweet,
[1314.4s] pristine white hoodie at the game time tier,
[1318.6s] which I've gotten a little bit of flack for.
[1320.6s] Everybody's just saying that they're trash goblets and it looks great.
[1324.2s] It does. Right.
[1325.4s] I personally will never wear a white shirt, because if I do,
[1329.1s] it's like, why am I eating curry today?
[1331.3s] Yeah, why was today the day I went over that turmeric curry?
[1336.0s] Of course, 100 percent.
[1337.4s] It's like, I haven't worn the shirt in months.
[1339.4s] Why did I do this? Yeah.
[1341.3s] Yeah. I got to say the combo of getting a mug,
[1343.6s] which you usually hold coffee or tea and then a white hoodie.
[1346.9s] It's also dangerous. Great point.
[1348.8s] Damn straight. You're just up in the game.
[1351.8s] So patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[1354.1s] We hope to see you over there.
[1355.8s] We're going to have a lot of fun with cyberpunk.
[1357.4s] We'll drop some teasers and stuff in the main feed
[1359.9s] just to wet your palate and stuff and make you feel like you're missing out.
[1365.2s] Because that's what we like to do sometimes.
[1366.6s] Unless you're not missing out because you are a patron.
[1369.5s] And if you are a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you.
[1372.7s] Oh, shit.
[1374.6s] What a call out to Russ to say,
[1378.2s] you don't have a name.
[1383.2s] Stalled for time, but that that that that that that.
[1387.6s] Oh, I can't. Oh, no.
[1392.2s] Come on, Russ.
[1393.8s] Look, I got to go into like select menus
[1396.4s] to make sure that I'm pulling from.
[1398.0s] I mean, I'm not sorry. I'm glad I remembered.
[1399.7s] You did. Oh, I'm sorry. You did.
[1401.4s] I'm pretty glad, though, because it's not often we get to like.
[1405.2s] Getcha on Russ. Yeah.
[1407.0s] 100 percent. Yeah, like today's patron,
[1412.7s] Isaiah Yarbrough.
[1416.0s] Oh, thanks, Isaiah.
[1417.5s] Thanks, Isaiah.
[1419.6s] Do you think that's like a rock star person?
[1422.1s] So you think that sounds like a British rocker?
[1425.6s] Oh, I was going to say like British naval officer.
[1428.5s] Oh, that's got to be a slash rocker.
[1431.3s] Cool secret identity. Either or. Yeah.
[1433.8s] Yeah. Rocking the seven seas.
[1436.1s] That's right. Thanks, Isaiah.
[1438.5s] Join us today.
[1439.1s] Patreon dot com slash dumb dragon cast, just like Isaiah.
[1442.0s] And you'll get a mug that you can drink hot coffee in a white
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[1452.2s] All right. Thanks, everybody.
[1453.2s] Back to the episode. Bye now. Bye. Bye.
[1460.9s] We flash forward some 12 years
[1464.2s] and the streets of Venturesmith are empty as we move through the Artisan
[1467.8s] District and over the bridge towards the noble side of town,
[1470.7s] where everyone has gathered to hear the latest and greatest
[1473.6s] buzzworthy speech from Mayor Knapp's.
[1477.0s] Taxation has gone up yet again, and the mayor has just finished his speech,
[1481.4s] which ended in the press grilling him on questions of
[1488.1s] what is to come of all of these tax increases.
[1491.8s] Where do they go?
[1493.6s] When everyone looks around and can clearly see that the
[1498.4s] noble region of Venturesmith is quite prosperous,
[1502.1s] with its practically gold laden streets and giant monumental statues
[1506.6s] of the mayor throughout the noble town square leading up to City Hall
[1510.8s] with its glorious fountains.
[1513.2s] And as these bombardments of boos and heckles come from the crowd,
[1516.9s] Mayor Knapp's is rushed away by his closest few.
[1520.9s] A short and slender woman with a well-groomed, black-haired bob cut.
[1527.4s] She whisks him away and he is quickly wrapped up by some guard.
[1531.9s] And we look and part of this group, along with a few administrators, is Bizard.
[1538.2s] Nina, the woman is quickly rushing past you, Bizard,
[1542.2s] and you hear her quickly saying, no, no, dear, no, no, it went very well.
[1547.6s] They heckled because they love you, dear.
[1549.3s] It will be totally fine.
[1550.8s] Come on, Bizard, if we have to lighten his spirits, it'll be fine.
[1554.0s] Everybody, everybody, come quick back to City Hall.
[1556.4s] Absolutely. You only receive criticism because you are taking bold strokes.
[1562.5s] People just can't see the vision that you have for the city.
[1566.2s] They don't understand that these these taxes will trickle down
[1570.0s] to their parts of the city.
[1572.1s] It's just a matter of time for these things to happen.
[1575.2s] And, you know, people aren't patient like they used to be.
[1578.1s] Oh, no, they aren't patient like they used to be, are they?
[1581.1s] No, all they want is more, more, more.
[1584.1s] But they don't know how hard it is to run a city.
[1587.3s] They don't. And you have to forgive them that.
[1590.0s] That's not something that they have the wherewithal to understand.
[1593.6s] You know, you having the experience you have me being from a large city
[1597.8s] and understanding the ins and outs that it takes to run a business
[1601.8s] in a in a city like Kingstown.
[1604.1s] But, you know, this is one one of the reasons why you come to me
[1609.7s] for this kind of advice, this kind of insight.
[1613.1s] You know, you can trust me to be 100 percent honest with you.
[1615.6s] If I thought you were doing something wrong by the people,
[1617.4s] then I would say something.
[1618.9s] Oh, well, yes, you've been 100 percent honest with me
[1621.6s] since the first day we met.
[1622.9s] You came in.
[1623.9s] You told me how you were going to turn that artisan district around.
[1626.8s] And oh, my golly, you sure have done that.
[1629.2s] That's true. I haven't really haven't really convinced them.
[1634.1s] That that everything is for the good, though.
[1639.4s] Listen, we convince people through their mood
[1645.2s] when people come through the artisan sector of town.
[1648.7s] They stop by my shop.
[1650.1s] I show them a good time.
[1651.3s] I get them set up with wonderful magical trinkets
[1653.9s] that bring a smile to their face.
[1656.2s] The people they're smiling, they're happy.
[1659.0s] That's that's one plus one. Mayor Knapp's.
[1663.3s] Well, it would be nice to see more smiling faces in the crowd.
[1667.3s] Think about it next time.
[1668.4s] Maybe we need some of those sparkly bangers
[1670.4s] that go off right as I'm coming out.
[1673.0s] You know, big flames, big flames.
[1674.6s] I think flames coming out would be good.
[1676.8s] Agreed. Really establish power.
[1679.8s] I mean, a good time, not power, not dominance.
[1685.1s] Nina tells me that those are not those are the words I need to use.
[1691.2s] Yes, no, I, you know, I understand what you were saying,
[1694.1s] and I would love to arrange that for you.
[1697.4s] If you could provide me a a small stipend
[1700.9s] to be able to gather the resources together.
[1703.7s] My my trusted traveling merchant, Steve,
[1707.4s] would be able to procure some items from Kingstown
[1710.9s] to bring to me from the college I attended there.
[1713.3s] And how much would you be willing to provide?
[1715.8s] I think I think a hundred gold.
[1718.0s] I know it sounds like a lot.
[1719.4s] A hundred gold could a hundred.
[1721.9s] What could you do with a hundred gold?
[1723.5s] Yes, darling, what could you do with a hundred gold?
[1725.4s] That's a lot of money for one speech.
[1727.6s] Well, see, the idea is that we the hundred gold would lay the bedrock.
[1732.3s] We would be able to reuse some of the materials
[1735.2s] in the grandiose nature of your presentation and speeches.
[1740.3s] It would essentially pave the way for future ones.
[1743.2s] We could reuse some of the vessels
[1745.8s] that I would store the magic materials and components inside
[1749.1s] for them to pop out of.
[1750.8s] So the only expendable part, I'd probably say moving forward
[1755.4s] after this stipend, we would merely need maybe
[1760.8s] 10, 10 gold per per speech.
[1764.6s] Yes, 10 gold is better.
[1766.6s] But yeah, OK, if you say that this will establish the bedrock.
[1771.4s] That's what you said.
[1772.5s] Establish the bedrock for moving foundations,
[1776.9s] future moving foundations.
[1779.0s] Yes, yes, yes.
[1779.9s] Nina, see that he gets the money.
[1781.9s] And as you are walking up the grandiose staircase
[1786.2s] towards City Hall itself, he says, see that
[1790.6s] see that he gets the money and no questions,
[1793.8s] no questions from anybody else in the press.
[1795.8s] And he storms inside City Hall.
[1798.2s] Nina says, yes, yes, yes.
[1800.0s] Come with me, Bizarre.
[1801.3s] We will get you your money.
[1802.4s] And she leads you back to her office
[1806.2s] through the winding hallways and says, I am on to you
[1810.6s] without looking at you as she slowly closes the door behind you
[1814.6s] as you enter her office.
[1816.0s] I'm not sure what you're talking about, Nina.
[1817.9s] Well, Bizarre, you have been pulling the wool over the mayor's eyes
[1821.0s] for quite some time.
[1822.7s] There's something more to you and your offices, I think.
[1826.0s] You're free to think that.
[1827.8s] And if that's what you think initially,
[1830.6s] I'm not even going to try to dissuade you of that line of thought
[1834.6s] because that would put me on the defense.
[1836.2s] And I have nothing to defend.
[1839.4s] So play your game.
[1842.0s] I'll continue living my life and serving Mayor Knapps
[1844.5s] as I think is best, which I know you're going to do, too.
[1848.6s] We're both here for Mayor Knapps.
[1851.3s] You want to see what's best for him.
[1852.5s] And you don't think I have his best interest at heart, but
[1856.3s] you don't know my heart.
[1858.1s] You don't know I'm here.
[1859.6s] Not truly.
[1860.5s] No, no, I don't know why you are here.
[1863.8s] I know why lots of people are here, darling.
[1866.8s] I'll figure you out.
[1869.2s] I'll figure you out.
[1871.9s] I welcome the challenge.
[1872.9s] I welcome you to try to figure me out.
[1875.4s] The graduates from Bernhardt Swan School of Magic, Fighting and Dance
[1879.5s] are not so easily classifiable.
[1882.4s] Did you hear the three different sectors of education that they offer there?
[1886.8s] It's really quite a plethora.
[1888.4s] I could go into the history of it if you'd like me to.
[1890.8s] Yes, yes, yes, darling.
[1892.3s] No, don't worry about it.
[1893.4s] I've heard about the Bernhardt Swan School of Magic, Fighting and Dance.
[1897.4s] Don't worry.
[1898.2s] Here's your big bag of money.
[1899.9s] She throws down a large coin purse
[1902.9s] that just echoes throughout her office and says, go get your goods.
[1906.4s] There's another speech in two weeks.
[1908.2s] I expect that to be much better than this far.
[1911.0s] Night and day difference.
[1912.2s] Night and day difference, Nina.
[1913.5s] I promise you will even be impressed,
[1916.8s] which I know is hard to do.
[1920.6s] Well, she stares you down.
[1922.8s] I don't like to say anything is impossible, so we'll see.
[1926.7s] Have a good day, Nina.
[1927.6s] And we'll be seeing each other soon, I'm sure.
[1930.8s] Goodbye, Bizard.
[1933.4s] Ta ta, Nina.
[1939.4s] You quietly close the door behind you
[1941.7s] and you head back down the staircase and over the bridge
[1944.2s] towards the artisan district.
[1946.3s] It's not how you remember, though.
[1949.9s] Everybody is dispersed.
[1951.8s] Everybody has gone home.
[1953.2s] But there's not as much joy as the days that you first came here.
[1959.0s] People are tired.
[1960.6s] They're worn down.
[1961.8s] Their businesses, even even you have noticed,
[1965.2s] like you still manage to maintain a pretty steady business through,
[1968.5s] you know, adventurers passing through and just the local kids
[1971.6s] spending whatever coin they may have left on sparklers and fake vomit.
[1975.7s] But it's a different place.
[1979.2s] And as you come back to the magic closet and unlock the door,
[1982.4s] you turn and you look out to the streets and nobody's rushing up right now.
[1993.6s] Oh, this.
[1997.5s] Mom, I feel what I do is wrong.
[2002.3s] But I'm doing it for the right reasons.
[2006.3s] I. I wish she would send me a letter back.
[2011.9s] It's been longer than I care to admit.
[2015.6s] Maybe Steve will check on her for me.
[2021.2s] I begin to gather some of the coin as I enter in
[2024.7s] and kind of separate it out into smaller,
[2029.6s] smaller, you know, purses and whatnot.
[2032.8s] Five, ten here.
[2034.5s] And I begin to make my way around to the other businesses
[2038.6s] and walk in very chummy.
[2042.1s] Of course, go into the snip and twirl first and
[2046.9s] go up to the cashier and say,
[2050.3s] I need to speak with your proprietor.
[2053.0s] Elanger, will you go get Syndra for me, please?
[2055.8s] Oh, yeah, yeah, of course, Bizard.
[2057.9s] And she goes and runs quick.
[2060.7s] And after a moment, Syndra comes out and this overwhelming
[2065.0s] smell of lilacs perfume that Syndra is well known for in the town
[2069.1s] just burst through the back door and says, Bizard, Bizard,
[2073.6s] what can I do for you?
[2075.2s] Syndra, it's finally come back around.
[2077.8s] I've managed to take care of some things that we had talked about before.
[2084.1s] I know, I know what's happened
[2088.8s] to the businesses here,
[2090.8s] and I understand the appearance of my involvement in it.
[2098.2s] And I want you to know.
[2101.0s] It's not as it seems.
[2103.1s] You're not in the back pocket of the mayor.
[2105.8s] Oh, I know. I mean, I am absolutely 100 percent,
[2109.2s] but it is not for the reasons you may think.
[2113.8s] And I want to show that to you,
[2117.3s] who showed me kindness upon arriving to town, who got me set up,
[2121.1s] took my tussled mop of hair and managed to do something
[2124.8s] that was sellable amongst the people here.
[2128.5s] And same with Elvira over at the threads of fate,
[2133.0s] getting me set up with new clothes that definitely had more of an appeal
[2138.2s] than the mud strewn olive green
[2143.1s] and burlap brown that I was wearing when I arrived that day too.
[2147.8s] I don't like to look back on those times.
[2149.6s] My clothes were absolute trash.
[2152.6s] That being said, I've kept a book and I want you to reach out to.
[2163.7s] I know it's hard doing deals with Kenny.
[2165.5s] I know we don't necessarily like it.
[2167.6s] It's seedy. But I feel like Kenny would at least understand
[2173.8s] keeping morale in the city and keeping money in the hands of people
[2179.1s] that could use it towards his benefit more than the mayor.
[2185.6s] Right. I feel like money flowing in his direction is better used and better
[2192.0s] better received by the town.
[2194.8s] So I've kept this book.
[2196.2s] I want you to work with me to return some of the taxes
[2200.4s] that have been taking from businesses so that they can improve their situation.
[2206.4s] This isn't going to solve the problem.
[2208.0s] I know it's not.
[2208.8s] No, no. But hopefully it's a step in the right direction.
[2213.3s] After you close today, come by my shop.
[2216.6s] We'll get things figured out, lay out the details
[2220.2s] and make sure that we can remain as subtle about this as possible.
[2225.1s] Make a persuasion roll.
[2229.8s] Ooh.
[2232.1s] With advantage because of the rousing history between you two.
[2238.3s] OK, 15.
[2241.1s] OK, Bizard, I'll come.
[2244.2s] Only if you're comfortable.
[2245.4s] I don't want you to feel like you're putting yourself in danger.
[2247.6s] I don't ask that of you. No, no.
[2249.0s] And as far as I'm concerned, I haven't talked to you today.
[2251.6s] Talk to who? Hmm.
[2254.5s] I'll come after.
[2256.0s] We'll talk about your plans and we'll see what we can do.
[2260.6s] Getting Kinney involved is a even for the right reasons.
[2264.7s] It's risky. It's a dangerous thing.
[2266.5s] You know that. Right.
[2268.6s] But Kinney is the one person that Knops won't won't mess with.
[2273.0s] We know this. You're right.
[2275.7s] And OK. Yeah.
[2278.7s] Do we want the witch or the devil?
[2280.8s] That is the question.
[2283.6s] Let's hope we answer it correctly.
[2286.6s] She looks down and Landra, who was previously in the back,
[2290.8s] comes back up front and says, Well, you look like a mess.
[2295.6s] Why don't you come back?
[2296.7s] I'll give you a snip.
[2298.1s] Close up for the day and we can have that conversation.
[2301.5s] That's too kind of you, too kind of you.
[2305.4s] Yeah, just a little off the top and give it a nice quaff.
[2307.9s] And I think I'll be right as rain to deal my wares another day.
[2312.1s] She takes you by the hand and leads you into the back room
[2316.2s] to get your haircut as we fade out on this scene.
[2327.5s] Dumbgeons and Dragons Season 3 Episode 11.
[2330.9s] This episode starred Kyle Claset as Bizard the Wizard
[2334.8s] and Russ More as your dungeon master.
[2336.8s] Also, Amy, Tom and Carla were hanging out in the middle there.
[2339.6s] Dialogue editing by Carla Maxted and sound design by Russ More.
[2343.7s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and sound effects
[2347.1s] from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
[2350.6s] Our amazing cover art and character designs are by Matt Garbutt.
[2354.4s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[2356.8s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak, Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
[2360.7s] Christian Brown, Craig Zeiss, Barry Mady,
[2363.6s] Ongarong Kiersen, Old School Gamer D, L.A.
[2366.8s] Branton, Nathaniel Teeter, Luna and Aaron.
[2370.1s] And a huge thank you from Twiglets for the name
[2373.0s] Rinkip Celador or Sheriff Celador.
[2376.7s] We may be hearing from more in the future,
[2380.0s] but the sheriff of past Vintersmouth as well as Cat Waterflame,
[2384.4s] who gave us the name Syndra, smells of lilacs for no discernible reason.
[2389.2s] It's just something that goes along with her.
[2391.1s] Come on now, keep up.
[2392.4s] I think that was all we covered a lot in these two episodes with Kyle.
[2396.0s] And we look forward to covering even more.
[2398.4s] If you want to help us build the world, you can join us at
[2400.8s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast where there's just there's a form
[2404.7s] right there at the top.
[2405.8s] You give us your thoughts.
[2407.8s] And it's a great time because then we put we put your names
[2411.3s] and your your shops and all that sort of stuff into the world.
[2414.9s] The Vintersmouth that we're building.
[2417.3s] Ah, I can't wait for the next episode.
[2419.3s] We might get to meet all four characters in one place.
[2423.5s] It's going to be a great time.
[2424.9s] What can you do while you're waiting for the next episode?
[2426.8s] Well, aside from joining Patreon is you can join our newsletter.
[2430.0s] There's a link down in the description to a to a link tree
[2432.9s] and it'll take you right there.
[2434.1s] Well, I'll take you to a link that'll take you right there.
[2436.5s] The world is built in links.
[2437.8s] OK, you know how the Internet works or you can go to dumbdragons.com
[2442.0s] and on the contact page, we've got to sign up for it there.
[2446.1s] That's it, though.
[2447.2s] Hopefully you're having a great week.
[2449.2s] I know we are because you're here listening to us.
[2451.9s] So you continue to have a wonderful week
[2454.8s] and we'll talk to you very, very soon. Bye for now.
[2460.4s] I'll get you your meeting with the mayor.
[2463.2s] You bring tax, you bring tax, you bring tax, you bring tax.
[2467.9s] Me sheriff. You're me sheriff.
[2469.6s] You bring tax.
[2470.5s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production.