[0.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons will begin in a moment.
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[11.4s] There's the sound of scuffling around, there's moving of boxes, there's some digging in the
[19.4s] ground. And Tally walks up to Alydin and says, so what happens if we find these tunnels?
[28.3s] What do you mean what happens if we find the tunnels?
[30.3s] Everybody's asking questions, right everybody? Like we've got like what if we find the tunnels,
[34.2s] like they were like Kinney's guys probably have like a plan for what these tunnels are.
[38.6s] If they're looking for tunnels, what's our plan for the tunnels? Like are we
[40.8s] going to tell them or are we going to? Do we live in the tunnels now?
[43.8s] Oh, we can live in the tunnels. Oh my God. No, we don't live in
[46.2s] the tunnels. Listen, guys, having the tunnel information gives us leverage.
[54.2s] Leverage against who? Not against anybody. It's just
[58.3s] we have wants and needs. Wait, what's leverage?
[62.4s] That is when you can use something that you have or you know to your advantage
[67.4s] against someone else to get something you want. What do we want?
[71.8s] Food. Treasure?
[73.9s] Treasure. Well, I mean. What if there's treasure in them tunnels?
[77.4s] I would love to like not live in this place.
[81.0s] So you want to live in the tunnels? Because we're going to live in the
[83.2s] tunnels with the treasure. Guys. OK, so if we know where these
[87.8s] tunnels are, we can use them if we want to, to get around, to go different places in the city
[93.4s] where we're like, maybe we're not so really welcome. And also, then if we know this
[98.6s] and Kinney's men are desperate, maybe we can tell them for a price.
[105.2s] You see? Then we get the treasure.
[107.6s] Maybe. Maybe it's a real house. There's a house in the tunnels?
[112.5s] Maybe it's consistent food tally. I just I can't with you right now.
[118.1s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons, a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast.
[123.2s] I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More. He him and Dumbgeons and Dragons stars
[127.4s] Amy More as Alydin. She her again, never specified to dig necessary.
[133.8s] Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave. He him or, you know, we could just
[139.7s] dip five minutes early. And Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane. She her.
[144.9s] I don't know if you're angling for me to pay for you to have a special visit
[148.2s] when we get to the Quivering Hills, but I did just say dinner and drinks are on me.
[151.9s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production that's supported by our patrons.
[156.2s] Visit us today at Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon cast.
[159.4s] And now it's adventure time, baby. Fuck it. Let's play.
[170.4s] We hear the sound of a door closing and Kavlaran, you walk back into your office
[175.6s] and Oak is finishing up some paperwork for the day.
[179.0s] It's nearly time to punch the clock, so to speak.
[183.0s] He turns and looks and says, I'm just about done. We've got 18 more papers to file
[187.6s] and we can probably do it if we both put our heads down
[191.0s] like within the next five minutes. What do you say?
[193.3s] I mean, that does sound like a plan. Yeah.
[196.6s] Uh, or, you know, we could just dip out five minutes early.
[203.4s] Dip out five minutes early.
[206.2s] Yeah, just close the door and do this tomorrow.
[211.8s] Um, but but Nina said that they were due by the end of the day today and that
[219.8s] I would just I would just be really uncomfortable
[224.4s] and I want to get the most out of boys night.
[227.8s] And if we got to do papers.
[231.6s] So you're you're telling me that you won't be able to stop thinking about these papers
[236.9s] if they're not done before the end of the day.
[238.6s] Just look at these papers like, look, this one cat in tree.
[242.6s] We need to file that one.
[244.6s] Look, uh, taxes raising.
[246.6s] What does that even get filed in?
[249.1s] Uh, oh, uh, that's going to get filed in the cat and tree department.
[253.3s] We have a department for.
[254.6s] There's a whole department for cat and tree staffed with eight people.
[257.8s] I mean, well, right away, it feels like that's maybe a few too many people,
[261.7s] like six too many people.
[263.3s] This place has so many cats and so many trees
[267.5s] that they're constantly just up there.
[269.4s] If we didn't have a full department, the backlog in what would we even put it into
[276.0s] like some sort of animal resources like that's not even reasonable.
[281.1s] OK, well, I'll tell you what we will buckle down.
[284.6s] OK, get this paperwork done great.
[286.6s] So you can come and enjoy boys night with me and Bench at the Brewed Awakening.
[290.6s] OK, great, great, great, great.
[292.1s] I can't wait like Bench hasn't really wanted to hang out with me ever.
[295.5s] And he's going back to scribbling on the papers and hands you a stack.
[300.1s] He's only handed you two and he has the rest of them.
[302.6s] What do you think Bench is going to be serving up tonight?
[304.9s] And, uh, I don't know.
[307.3s] I know that they're closed.
[308.6s] So like we just like a friend's thing, right?
[311.2s] This isn't like we're not paying for this.
[313.4s] This is this isn't like a health and safety thing that we got to worry about.
[316.7s] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
[317.9s] This is this is just total, total hangout time.
[320.2s] Great, great, great.
[321.4s] Ah, I've been waiting for a hangout time.
[323.4s] Uh, so I'm done.
[326.6s] OK, did you do your two?
[329.9s] Uh, I did a pretty good job on them.
[333.0s] I think I'd love to roll like some sort of persuasion roll.
[337.3s] Are you trying to persuade or are you trying to deceive?
[339.7s] I guess I'm trying to persuade him that I did a great job, even though, like,
[345.0s] let's be honest, I probably try to deceive.
[349.0s] I guess.
[349.4s] Yeah.
[349.8s] OK, so roll deception.
[353.0s] Guess it just depends on which side of the coin you look at here.
[356.3s] That's a nine.
[357.0s] Look, I can see you really want to go out to boys night.
[360.8s] We'll save these two for the morning and you can redo them in the morning.
[364.6s] OK, because I can see right now that you haven't put
[367.2s] down the proper forwarding address.
[369.3s] You don't have to look any closer.
[371.0s] OK, I mean, it's over your shoulder.
[374.2s] OK, anyway, that's just I'll file these ones on the way out
[377.0s] and we'll be on our way.
[378.8s] Boys night.
[388.9s] We hear the sound of a carriage rolling by Everbane's and inside,
[395.6s] Bonwyn, you have finished the Estro blade for your client, Milord Ignatius,
[403.9s] and are packaging it up for delivery.
[409.0s] Neven has stopped by at the end of the day just to kind of hang out
[413.1s] as they sometimes do and come along with you on this delivery.
[418.2s] So that's a really cool blade.
[420.2s] Like, how much did that one cost?
[423.2s] Oh, I mean, rude.
[427.8s] I mean, a lot.
[430.3s] How about dinner and drinks are on me after we make the delivery?
[434.4s] Geez.
[435.1s] Nice.
[435.5s] So OK.
[437.0s] Yeah, it's it's a good one.
[438.9s] But I mean, not to brag, but look at it.
[441.9s] It's gorgeous.
[443.1s] So such a fine point.
[445.5s] I want to dare you to touch it, but I don't because it will cut you.
[449.2s] Thanks for the warning.
[450.2s] But look at I mean, jewels in the hilt.
[452.6s] It's it's gorgeous and deadly.
[455.4s] And here, take it.
[456.2s] Take it just by the handle.
[457.4s] Oh, how light it is.
[458.4s] That's so light.
[459.2s] It's like that.
[460.1s] Look at the bAlydince on that.
[461.4s] I don't know.
[461.8s] That's what people say when they pick up pick up blades.
[464.5s] But like, if I put my finger there.
[466.6s] Exactly.
[467.5s] You can just barely moves.
[469.8s] Nice work.
[471.5s] So did you you brought the silk?
[474.6s] Perfect.
[474.9s] Oh, yeah, of course.
[475.8s] Here you go, Ignatius.
[477.6s] You know, Ignatius is always like,
[479.7s] head to toe green.
[480.7s] It's kind of his cool signature look.
[484.2s] So yeah, I've carved a perfect box.
[489.0s] So it just will set in there nicely.
[491.0s] The blade won't touch.
[493.0s] And then I'll close that up.
[495.1s] And of course, wrap it in the silk and with that ribbon.
[498.0s] Can you pass me that?
[498.9s] Yeah, here you go.
[500.2s] Perfect.
[500.7s] And then we tie it.
[502.2s] And then as always, he'll just pull it and it will sort of drift down slowly
[507.7s] and go and that box will kind of open up and the blade will present itself.
[512.8s] And I mean, you know, that's why I can pay for dinner and drinks tonight
[516.9s] because this isn't cheap.
[518.6s] Because this sounds rather sexual in nature is what it does.
[522.9s] I mean, he's going to be on board with it.
[524.5s] I mean, Ignatius runs the brothel.
[525.9s] So it's it all just makes perfect sense.
[528.9s] Yeah, yeah, it's I mean, the classy brothel.
[533.1s] Of course.
[533.6s] Yeah, the quivering hills.
[534.6s] I mean, I think I'm good.
[537.1s] I'm ready.
[537.5s] Let's get in the carriage.
[538.5s] We'll head across the bridge, go to the quivering hills, drop this off,
[543.9s] take in the sights, maybe if you're interested.
[546.6s] And then dinner and drinks wherever you want to go.
[550.2s] Love it.
[550.9s] OK, the two of you grab the bag and lock the door behind or
[558.3s] sit like an open halfway.
[560.1s] We haven't described it.
[561.9s] So I have an office and workshop kind of within the more open forge.
[567.1s] So that's where we would be doing this.
[568.7s] So I would like close and lock the door behind me
[572.3s] because I have a safe where I keep, you know, the jewels and the estrel
[575.8s] and the money and all that stuff.
[578.0s] But otherwise, it is kind of more open concept because of all the heat
[582.5s] and yeah, the forges and whatnot.
[584.3s] So Thane can kind of wander freely everywhere else.
[588.1s] Awesome.
[589.4s] And as you lock it and you're heading back out,
[591.5s] Thane, who's working on something, kind of catches you over their shoulder
[594.7s] and says, all right, I'll lock up tonight.
[596.5s] I'll close everything down.
[597.6s] You have a great one.
[598.5s] OK, yeah, just heading to the quivering hill.
[601.3s] See you later.
[603.1s] Don't have too much fun.
[604.6s] I give him a big wink.
[612.5s] I think we've looked everywhere.
[614.4s] Have you found anything yet, Alydin?
[616.0s] No.
[617.5s] No, but I mean, this place is big.
[621.3s] And let's face it, those two over there have been like
[625.1s] digging in each other's spots the entire time.
[627.4s] Get out of my way.
[628.0s] No, get out of my way.
[629.0s] I was looking here first.
[630.2s] If we look here together, we'll just dig us twice as fast.
[633.1s] Maybe we'll dig deep enough that the tunnels will make the tunnels.
[638.0s] We could build our own tunnels.
[639.2s] We could build our own tunnels.
[640.7s] Alydin seems really excited about tunnels.
[643.1s] Alydin, don't look over here.
[645.2s] Well, we almost found the tunnel.
[647.0s] We have a surprise, but not now.
[648.9s] Just don't worry about it.
[650.2s] We'll tell you later.
[651.5s] I see what you mean.
[653.3s] I see what you mean.
[656.6s] OK, so where have you been looking?
[660.6s] Well, if I was going to hide secret tunnels,
[664.9s] there would probably be some kind of a trap door.
[667.4s] So I appreciate, like, how hard they're working over there
[670.7s] with their spoons and stuff.
[672.1s] But we shouldn't have to dig down too far.
[676.0s] Look, help me move these big crates,
[678.0s] because I feel like wouldn't you put a big crate
[680.3s] on top of something that you don't want anyone to see?
[682.7s] Yeah, absolutely.
[683.5s] OK, here I come.
[685.4s] You want to roll a strength check with advantage,
[690.4s] because hold on.
[691.9s] I'll tell you if it's with advantage.
[695.7s] It is not with advantage.
[697.6s] Six.
[698.9s] No, four.
[700.8s] I'm a child.
[702.1s] Everybody, we're going to need a hand.
[703.7s] I just don't think we can get this.
[705.6s] Everybody, come over here.
[706.5s] Help us move this crate, OK?
[708.0s] OK.
[708.6s] OK, here I come.
[709.5s] Pull like you've got purpose.
[710.5s] Come on.
[711.1s] All right, now roll with advantage,
[713.5s] because you have eight kids.
[715.9s] It's an 11 and a 3.
[719.3s] 11.
[720.5s] The group of these children all pile on, at first,
[724.5s] kind of all pile around all sides and are all pushing in.
[728.2s] Are we doing it?
[729.6s] No.
[730.5s] Did it move?
[731.4s] No, guys, we got to pick a direction.
[733.4s] Pull toward me.
[734.9s] You guys on that side, you push.
[736.3s] You don't pull.
[737.1s] OK.
[737.7s] We want it to go this way.
[739.1s] Got it.
[739.5s] OK.
[739.9s] Great.
[740.0s] OK.
[740.6s] OK.
[741.3s] All right, three, two, one.
[746.2s] And then you hear the crate sliding.
[748.9s] And as it clears, there is a wooden panel underneath.
[757.6s] We'll flip my pancake, Tally.
[759.6s] You see that?
[760.5s] Oh, gosh.
[761.8s] That's no dirt floor.
[763.5s] This is under the crate where we've
[764.8s] been standing this whole time.
[766.4s] We've been digging for what seems like all day.
[769.7s] Yeah.
[770.2s] Yeah, I, again, never specified to dig necessarily.
[774.9s] How else are you going to find tunnels in the ground,
[777.8s] Alydin?
[778.6s] We moved a box that was sitting on top of a trap door, Tally.
[783.9s] All right.
[784.7s] Well, that's why you make the big bucks around here.
[787.2s] Mm-hmm.
[787.9s] OK.
[788.4s] Can we see what's inside?
[790.0s] Can you lift it?
[790.9s] What's in there?
[791.5s] Is it treasure?
[791.9s] Yeah, can we go in?
[792.5s] Is it food?
[793.0s] Is it treasure?
[793.5s] OK, listen.
[794.2s] You guys have to stay here.
[795.5s] Tally, help me open this up.
[798.0s] OK.
[798.5s] Yeah, we've already just shown that I'm very strong.
[801.5s] I can help with this.
[802.5s] It is a trap door.
[804.0s] It is a piece of wood.
[805.9s] Well, is it a trap?
[807.2s] Wait, is there like a code word or anything
[809.7s] you want to see as a warning if someone's coming?
[812.2s] Yes.
[812.8s] Mm-hmm.
[813.6s] Yeah, that's a good idea.
[815.1s] Yeah.
[815.4s] Well, should we stick with the barn animal noises
[817.7s] that we had them doing earlier?
[820.5s] Like the birds?
[822.1s] Yeah, but don't be so realistic this time, OK?
[825.3s] Yeah, give us an example.
[826.9s] OK.
[829.1s] So like, ah.
[830.5s] Oh, that's good.
[831.4s] Gubble, gubble, gubble.
[832.4s] Oh, I like that one.
[833.3s] Yeah, OK.
[834.2s] Oh, I like that combination of them.
[836.6s] Yeah.
[837.1s] OK.
[838.0s] And do it loud, though, OK?
[839.9s] Yeah, yeah.
[841.0s] Yeah, yeah.
[841.9s] I think that Alydin has probably snooped enough to check for a
[848.1s] a simple trap of some kind before just pulling it open.
[852.4s] You wanna make an investigation roll then?
[854.0s] Yes.
[855.1s] All right, hold on, Tally.
[856.4s] Okay, yeah.
[857.3s] I just wanna check this out.
[858.5s] I'll wait for your go.
[861.1s] 16, 15, I know how to count.
[865.6s] You look and at first glance,
[867.7s] there's nothing that appears to be protruding
[872.2s] or any locking mechanism.
[874.2s] You run your hands along the side
[875.8s] and you're able to find the perimeter
[877.4s] which has been like covered over with dirt.
[880.1s] It doesn't look to you that there is any trap
[884.1s] that is going to be of danger to you
[886.9s] in just lifting this panel.
[889.5s] Okay, hey, remember that time
[893.7s] that we lifted the chest
[897.7s] from Sir Wrinkle Bottom's door?
[902.5s] Yeah.
[903.6s] And all that gross smell and smoke stuff
[907.3s] came out.
[908.6s] Yeah, that wasn't very good.
[910.0s] Okay, so it didn't look like the gross smoke stuff
[913.7s] was gonna come out, but it did.
[915.9s] So it could be like that.
[917.7s] So here's what we gotta do.
[919.5s] You guys, you guys go further back, further back.
[922.2s] Tally, we're gonna do like a lift and flip
[925.7s] for the lift. Lift and flip.
[926.7s] The lift and flip.
[927.5s] And then we're gonna run in the other directions.
[931.1s] It's gonna be a flip and then a run.
[933.5s] And then a run. Yes.
[934.8s] Lift, run.
[935.8s] Yeah, but we have to lift it
[936.9s] and then we gotta flip it all the way off.
[938.4s] All the way off.
[939.2s] Okay, okay, okay.
[940.3s] Here we go.
[941.3s] Okay, you got this?
[942.1s] Got it.
[942.9s] Lift, lift with our legs.
[943.8s] Lift, flip, run.
[944.6s] Three, two, one.
[948.2s] Door flips, both of you run back.
[950.5s] There's this almost vacuum effect of dust
[954.7s] that has plumed out of the hole that you've revealed.
[958.5s] You can't see inside it.
[960.3s] You are all huddled behind some crates
[962.7s] on the other side of the room.
[963.9s] You look and you see this dust settle back down.
[967.5s] Nothing's coming out of it,
[968.9s] but you can't see down into
[970.6s] from the position that you're in.
[972.6s] It doesn't smell like that gross smoke.
[975.6s] No, it just smells like the warehouse, a little stale.
[981.8s] All right, I'm gonna go take a look.
[986.6s] I creep quietly.
[989.8s] You make it to the edge and you look down
[991.9s] and it's very dark in this hole that opens up into.
[996.1s] It looks, at first glance,
[998.1s] looks kind of like a cold cellar.
[1000.7s] It goes down a few feet with a little bit of a ladder
[1004.3s] and then opens up into a much larger room
[1007.2s] that you can't get the full scope of
[1009.1s] without going down the stairs.
[1010.7s] You do have visibility on a couple crates
[1015.5s] that are open down in the bottom.
[1017.5s] You don't see anything of real value inside.
[1020.7s] There's some burlap sacks kind of piled up
[1023.4s] in one area that you have visibility on,
[1026.2s] but if you want to see the rest of the room,
[1028.0s] you'd have to go down the ladder.
[1030.2s] Okay guys, it's really dark down there.
[1032.9s] Yeah, it looks kind of scary.
[1035.9s] I do see some sacks.
[1038.0s] They look empty,
[1039.4s] but they definitely look cozier than what we've got.
[1044.0s] So that's a plus.
[1044.8s] Already, this was a great idea.
[1047.0s] Yeah, that's gonna be great for the cold nights,
[1048.7s] which are coming pretty soon.
[1051.0s] So yet again, I've saved us.
[1053.7s] I guess, like, let's go down there.
[1056.8s] Not you guys.
[1059.6s] Tally.
[1061.1s] Okay. Okay.
[1062.6s] Okay.
[1063.4s] So Tally and I are gonna go down.
[1064.8s] Okay, Benson, you're in charge.
[1066.6s] I don't know if that's a great idea, but okay.
[1069.3s] Yeah, well, Benson's next in line.
[1071.3s] Like, it's just how it happens.
[1073.2s] Apes, not Benson.
[1074.3s] Just keep your, just keep it together
[1077.8s] for like five minutes.
[1078.9s] We're just gonna go down and have a look.
[1080.5s] Okay, we'll have the bird calls on ready.
[1085.0s] All right.
[1085.8s] You're going down first or second?
[1086.7s] I'm going down first.
[1089.6s] Your footsteps on the ladder
[1091.3s] as you're making your way down,
[1092.7s] and it's 10 rungs down
[1096.0s] by the time you get to the bottom.
[1098.2s] Either the ceiling of this hold is pretty low.
[1103.4s] It's only about six feet.
[1104.8s] So you don't have to duck or anything,
[1106.3s] but there's not much room to jump.
[1109.1s] Or for somebody taller,
[1111.2s] it's not much room to move around.
[1114.7s] You get down, everybody has dark vision.
[1117.3s] Yes, I'm pretty sure.
[1119.0s] Half elves do, dwarves do.
[1123.5s] So you're able to see down here
[1125.1s] once you come down, your eyes adjust just a little bit.
[1128.4s] And there are,
[1130.4s] like the room is lined with shelves and crates,
[1134.6s] and it looks like it was at one point
[1138.2s] used as a food storage room.
[1141.0s] You don't see any egress from this room,
[1146.6s] but the walls are themselves lined with crates.
[1149.7s] Some of them stacked almost to the seal.
[1153.4s] Tally comes down behind you
[1155.2s] and is kind of feeling around
[1157.4s] and kind of, and catches your back.
[1160.6s] Anything that we gotta worry about?
[1163.8s] It's pretty quiet.
[1165.3s] Yeah, it just looks like an old cellar.
[1168.6s] Tally goes and moves and picks up some of the jars.
[1171.2s] Some of these are still sealed,
[1172.3s] like there's food inside of some of these.
[1174.1s] How do you know it's food?
[1176.3s] Well, I can see inside this one,
[1178.4s] and it looks like pickles.
[1181.2s] Okay, well fair.
[1182.2s] There's some of these though
[1183.0s] that are in those dark jars.
[1184.6s] You gotta be careful.
[1185.6s] Why don't you start handing food up?
[1187.7s] Okay.
[1188.5s] Actually, no wait.
[1189.4s] Okay.
[1190.2s] We're the only people who know about this place.
[1193.6s] Then this is the safest place to keep it.
[1195.2s] Put it back, don't drop it.
[1197.6s] Okay.
[1199.1s] Slowly puts it back on the shelf,
[1202.5s] places it down.
[1205.0s] I did, I did, I did it.
[1207.3s] Yeah, I saw that Tally.
[1208.7s] Good job.
[1209.5s] Okay, help me look through some of these crates.
[1212.1s] Like it is floor to ceiling crates in here.
[1214.9s] There's gotta be some good stuff that we could sell
[1218.4s] or barter with,
[1220.3s] or maybe even find another door or tunnel.
[1225.0s] Wow, okay.
[1226.5s] The two of you begin trying to lift the lids
[1230.4s] off of some of these crates.
[1231.3s] And many of them are hammered down pretty tight.
[1235.1s] When you hear from up above...
[1242.2s] That's the code.
[1243.8s] Everybody be quiet.
[1244.9s] It's just you and me.
[1246.7s] Do we go up?
[1247.5s] Do we stay here?
[1248.4s] Talk about what happens when they say the thing.
[1250.4s] I quickly, like, climb up the ladder,
[1255.7s] and say, put the lid on, put the lid on.
[1259.3s] Three of the kids run over and are dragging the lid
[1261.8s] back over the tunnel with you inside of it?
[1264.0s] Yep.
[1264.8s] Great.
[1265.6s] I'm a child.
[1266.5s] And then you hear footsteps flee off
[1267.8s] as you are plunged into darkness.
[1271.3s] As they slide it on, I go, hide, hide, hide, hide.
[1274.4s] They scatter in the room.
[1279.2s] Kavlaran and Oak.
[1282.9s] You're making your way back to the Brood Awakening,
[1284.9s] and Oak has been talking your ear off the entire way.
[1287.5s] And it's like, Kavlaran, I've been really just thinking
[1290.0s] that we would be perfect friends
[1291.4s] ever since you stepped foot into the offices.
[1294.8s] It's been, I just can't believe
[1296.4s] we haven't had this opportunity since you've been here.
[1299.3s] Like, it's been several weeks.
[1300.6s] Yeah, you know.
[1301.5s] Last person who was here,
[1302.8s] I just hung out with them immediately.
[1304.7s] And then they were gone the next week.
[1306.7s] Turns out, I've just had a super busy social life
[1311.0s] since coming here.
[1312.0s] Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.
[1313.7s] No, that's good that you're integrated into the community.
[1318.4s] That's a great thing.
[1319.5s] I'm just glad to be part of it now.
[1322.6s] Nice to finally like do this.
[1324.4s] It's long overdue.
[1325.7s] Yeah, no, well, you know,
[1326.9s] we know each other as business professionals,
[1329.1s] but now we get to know each other
[1330.5s] when we really cut loose, if you know what I mean.
[1333.9s] Yeah, absolutely.
[1337.0s] Ready for this?
[1338.1s] Ready, so ready.
[1339.9s] I've been prepping all day.
[1341.5s] Haven't eaten a single thing.
[1342.9s] Wait, were you pre-gaming?
[1344.2s] Well, no, no, it's like, I just, you know,
[1346.3s] know that Bench really makes good food.
[1349.0s] So I just haven't been eating a lot,
[1351.5s] knowing that it is probably gonna be some good grub.
[1354.4s] So makes it left some room.
[1356.2s] Oh, yeah, I don't know
[1358.2s] if there's actually gonna be any food
[1359.7s] because like the kitchen shut down.
[1362.1s] It's part of the business license.
[1363.4s] So I think it's just gonna be like drinks
[1366.8s] and bar snacks.
[1367.7s] Great, then I've been preparing all day
[1371.1s] to get totally wasted.
[1372.9s] That's what we're doing, right?
[1375.3s] I mean, it seems like that might be it, yeah.
[1378.4s] But don't worry, I'll hold your hair if need be.
[1380.9s] Oh, thank you, Kavlarna.
[1383.6s] I really should have thought this one through.
[1385.1s] Shutting down the restaurant
[1386.3s] probably wasn't the best idea for this,
[1388.1s] but that's okay.
[1389.5s] Street vendors will be out not too long
[1391.2s] and then we can get some food if we need it.
[1395.1s] Absolutely.
[1396.0s] You round the corner and you see the Brewed Awakening
[1399.4s] with the clothes sign and every other windows boarded up.
[1405.3s] He's waiting for us, right?
[1406.7s] Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, he's there.
[1407.8s] You just gotta do the secret knock.
[1410.1s] I don't know the secret knock.
[1411.3s] All right, well, watch close.
[1412.6s] Okay.
[1416.6s] Wow, that's a good knock.
[1419.0s] Did you get it?
[1419.9s] Do you need to see it again?
[1420.8s] If I could see it again, that would be great.
[1425.5s] That's it, that's it.
[1427.3s] That's the one.
[1428.1s] Yeah, so like this.
[1433.1s] We'll work on it some more.
[1434.3s] Okay, as the door swings open, bench is inside.
[1438.2s] He has colored sconces all over the walls,
[1442.0s] which is what he does when it's a,
[1443.5s] you know, it's a big party night,
[1444.7s] but he's done so for the festivities here
[1447.4s] and he's flexing as he opens the door,
[1449.6s] which he always does.
[1451.0s] Oh, come on in, come on in, get down.
[1453.7s] Get under the tables so that the-
[1457.1s] Under the tables?
[1457.9s] Well, that's where the party starts.
[1459.6s] Okay, let's do it.
[1460.9s] Get under the table,
[1461.8s] that way you don't end the night under the table.
[1464.0s] Oak, bench, bench, Oak,
[1465.7s] I don't know if you've met each other.
[1467.6s] Oh, we've seen each other around.
[1468.7s] You came and shot me down last week.
[1470.4s] Oak, you did it personally?
[1471.9s] I did do that.
[1473.6s] Well, I came along with the group
[1476.2s] just to make sure that it was delivered
[1477.8s] and done properly and I apologize for that.
[1481.1s] You know, taxes, it's what the city runs on
[1484.2s] and you gotta keep up with them,
[1486.7s] but we're not here to talk about business, are we?
[1489.3s] I sure hope not.
[1490.2s] No, no, we're not talking about business here.
[1492.9s] Let me go get you some drinks.
[1495.4s] He goes behind the bar and says,
[1496.7s] what do you have?
[1498.2s] Oak, what do you normally order?
[1499.3s] Oh, I normally have something fruity
[1502.9s] with a little twist.
[1504.9s] Sure, yeah.
[1505.7s] You got a pomegranate?
[1506.7s] Benched, do you have something fruity with a twist
[1509.2s] that would work well for Oak here?
[1511.9s] Oak and the fruity twist, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1515.0s] You get, with the hard liquor
[1518.0s] is what will serve you up here.
[1521.0s] This one, it has a squeeze of orange in it
[1524.2s] and it's just straight whiskey.
[1525.7s] Oh, that sounds really good.
[1527.9s] Is everybody else gonna have one?
[1529.5s] Yeah, I mean, one of those sounds just Andy.
[1532.3s] Fantastic.
[1535.0s] Everybody gets their drinks and goes,
[1536.8s] all right, everybody to a great boys night.
[1541.6s] On the count of three,
[1543.0s] we're doing a lot of counting this episode.
[1545.9s] Cheers.
[1547.9s] And everybody puts their drinks back.
[1549.3s] Make a constitution saving throw.
[1551.3s] Oh, boy.
[1553.5s] Lightweight.
[1555.2s] After bonus, that is a seven.
[1557.6s] Oh, wow.
[1559.3s] Kavlaran does not hold his liquor.
[1561.2s] Come on, Kavlaran.
[1562.4s] I mean, maybe not when it comes to Brandy.
[1564.7s] He might be more of a, like, ale type.
[1567.5s] Let's say you make your first few with advantage
[1570.6s] because likely he's not gonna serve you
[1573.4s] the exact same thing as he's serving Oak.
[1576.4s] You also ate ahead of time.
[1578.2s] I did.
[1579.7s] That's a 19.
[1580.7s] Okay.
[1582.8s] You take these drinks and they're pretty strong
[1585.5s] but you're able to hold them
[1587.8s] and Oak is like, whoa, that's something I...
[1594.8s] Yeah, I think...
[1595.7s] It really burns on the way down.
[1597.0s] He used it as a paint thinner
[1598.9s] last time he redid the place, so.
[1601.2s] Yeah, no, it definitely tells.
[1602.9s] I love the orange, the florals,
[1606.1s] the florals in my nose.
[1608.5s] Another one.
[1609.8s] Oh, wow.
[1613.8s] It's the middle.
[1617.8s] Hey, everybody.
[1620.4s] Thanks for listening.
[1622.4s] Hope you're having a great day.
[1624.1s] I love these pauses.
[1625.3s] You hope we're having a great day?
[1626.8s] Or the listener?
[1628.2s] You know what, me too.
[1629.1s] Hope everybody's having a great day.
[1630.7s] Oh, yeah.
[1631.6s] Yeah, absolutely.
[1632.4s] Proxy for the listener.
[1633.3s] I'm not greedy with the great days.
[1634.3s] Everyone can have them.
[1635.2s] No, everyone could have a great day.
[1637.8s] We're in episode three.
[1638.9s] We're three episodes deep in this new season
[1641.2s] and we're just loving it.
[1643.0s] We do.
[1643.8s] We hope you are too.
[1645.0s] Figuring out these new characters is fun.
[1647.3s] Yeah, it's been really cool
[1648.4s] and seeing the lovely things people have been saying
[1651.3s] on the Discord is really, really, really nice.
[1653.4s] People are nice.
[1654.3s] If you're not on that Discord,
[1655.7s] you can't run over there.
[1657.3s] Like, just come.
[1658.7s] Even if you don't do Discord,
[1661.0s] even if you don't know what I'm talking about.
[1662.5s] It's just happiness.
[1663.6s] This is just like a chat community.
[1666.1s] Come join us.
[1666.9s] Everyone's very nice.
[1668.2s] Absolutely.
[1669.1s] As a former person who didn't do Discord
[1671.9s] and was terrified when Russ was like,
[1673.6s] hey, we need a Discord,
[1675.5s] it's really easy to pick up.
[1677.3s] So there is a link down in the description
[1679.4s] of this episode and probably many of them,
[1682.5s] but it's a link tree and it'll say,
[1685.7s] take you to another page and then take you to Discord.
[1687.7s] And then you'll have to, if you're new to Discord,
[1689.8s] you sign up for an account.
[1691.1s] And if you're not new, then it'll just bring you in
[1692.7s] and you know what we're talking about.
[1694.1s] And it is free.
[1695.5s] Oh yeah.
[1696.3s] It's free to come in.
[1697.2s] One concern that many people have is that the,
[1700.5s] spoilers, cause they're not caught up.
[1702.0s] So maybe you're listening to season three now,
[1703.9s] but you're still catching up on season one or season two.
[1707.4s] We contain as much as we can
[1709.5s] to some certain spoiler channels.
[1711.2s] So you can mute those and then you don't see anything
[1713.5s] until you're all nice and totally.
[1715.1s] Our listeners are super respectful of that too.
[1717.5s] Like I don't see much crosstalk.
[1718.3s] To be honest, there's not a lot of talk
[1720.1s] about this business on there.
[1722.4s] We're talking about pets.
[1723.6s] We're posting pictures of food.
[1724.9s] Oh yeah.
[1725.8s] There's tattoos.
[1726.6s] Plants.
[1727.4s] People talking about music.
[1728.3s] Other podcast recommendations.
[1729.7s] It's just like a bunch of nice people you can talk to
[1732.3s] about this show or not.
[1734.7s] People getting together, playing their own games.
[1736.7s] We're just the catalyst that brings you all together.
[1739.4s] And now there's this awesome community.
[1741.7s] Yep.
[1742.8s] So that's what's happening over there.
[1744.7s] Hey, we've, so since we're three episodes deep,
[1748.1s] we've forgotten to do something that we do,
[1750.7s] did every, every single frigging episode.
[1753.3s] Hundreds of episodes.
[1754.2s] For literally hundreds of episodes.
[1757.7s] Slight change to format and our brains fall out.
[1760.1s] So we are a Patreon supported show
[1763.9s] and you can join us at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[1766.3s] And when you are a patron,
[1767.7s] you maybe get an episode dedicated.
[1769.9s] If you remember.
[1771.3s] We're back on it.
[1772.1s] We just missed a couple.
[1773.5s] It's just been a bit.
[1775.4s] So today's episode is dedicated
[1777.7s] to one of our patrons, Perry Matey.
[1781.1s] You are awesome.
[1782.2s] The best.
[1783.1s] That's all I got.
[1783.9s] You're amazing.
[1786.5s] Perry Matey is the username.
[1789.3s] So that's what we go by.
[1790.4s] But that's our good friend, Sam,
[1793.0s] who we play game time with quite a lot.
[1795.7s] And they've just had a big event in their life.
[1799.6s] And we got to celebrate it with them.
[1801.3s] So thank you.
[1802.3s] Thank you for being here, Sam.
[1804.1s] Love you, Sam.
[1805.2s] We love you.
[1806.1s] Join us today at patreon.com slash dumb dragon.
[1809.2s] I'm being cagey about it
[1810.3s] because I don't know if they want to spill the beans.
[1812.8s] We knew what was going on.
[1814.1s] Maybe next week we'll get to spill the beans.
[1816.6s] Let us know.
[1817.7s] Okay.
[1818.9s] That's all we've got for now.
[1820.2s] Join us at patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[1822.3s] We love you all.
[1823.1s] Have a great week.
[1824.0s] And we'll talk to you soon.
[1825.0s] Bye.
[1829.6s] Bonwyn and Neven,
[1831.1s] you've made your way across the bridge
[1832.8s] into the noble district.
[1834.3s] And the quivering hills are located
[1840.0s] on the far side of the noble district.
[1841.9s] So you make your way through.
[1844.5s] And the, I don't know how often you come over here.
[1848.9s] I guess I can leave that up to you.
[1851.5s] Probably just for deliveries
[1855.8s] or I guess I would probably have some clients
[1856.8s] that would request me to come and plan what they're
[1861.1s] rather than them coming to me.
[1862.7s] So, but only for that.
[1864.3s] I don't, I don't hang out on this side of the river.
[1868.3s] The two of you are walking through
[1870.7s] and making your way to the quivering hills.
[1873.6s] And Neven taps your shoulder
[1878.8s] and the, the level of,
[1884.9s] rich bitch mentality over here, right?
[1889.3s] Well, I mean,
[1891.3s] I wasn't gonna say it in your company.
[1894.7s] Like it's not, it's not exactly me.
[1897.8s] You know that, right?
[1900.3s] Like every time you look in the mirror, you mean?
[1902.8s] Yeah, yeah, okay.
[1906.3s] I'm just kidding.
[1907.4s] You're lovely.
[1908.3s] Yeah, but I mean.
[1909.6s] Many people on this side of the river are lovely.
[1913.6s] They are that.
[1915.5s] That's true.
[1916.3s] Like everybody's just trying to do their best.
[1917.1s] But like the different, what I see here
[1920.0s] as like there's so much more,
[1922.1s] there's so much more fun and joy when I come visit you.
[1928.0s] Here it's like everybody's competing.
[1930.2s] Yeah, it's definitely a different vibe
[1933.4s] than the hot block where it's like,
[1935.1s] loud and noisy and colorful and bright.
[1937.8s] And here it's very, that's very calm.
[1940.8s] Very clean cut.
[1941.7s] People want to be dignified.
[1944.5s] And there's sort of no soul.
[1946.5s] No, yeah.
[1948.5s] Again, present company.
[1949.9s] Of course, thank you.
[1950.7s] Of course.
[1951.5s] Thank you for saying that.
[1952.4s] No, it didn't.
[1953.2s] I wasn't digging for compliments or anything,
[1954.7s] but I just wanted to say that like this,
[1958.5s] I'd throw it all away, you know?
[1961.4s] I don't know if you're angling for me to pay
[1963.4s] for you to have a special visit
[1964.8s] when we get to the Quivering Hills,
[1966.3s] but I did just say dinner and drinks are on me.
[1968.0s] That's true, that's true.
[1969.2s] Yeah, fair enough.
[1970.6s] I mean, nice try.
[1972.4s] Got to try a little bit, don't you?
[1975.1s] You round the corner and nestled into the Foisen Hills
[1979.1s] is the Quivering Hills,
[1981.5s] which is a very large building
[1984.7s] by comparison to everything around it,
[1986.5s] which is saying something
[1987.6s] because there are several story homes
[1990.8s] and businesses that are a little more unusual
[1994.5s] than the Artisan District
[1996.9s] and where you mostly spend your time.
[2000.0s] It's not like a steady stream of people,
[2002.5s] but there are a few people going in,
[2004.1s] a couple of people coming out,
[2005.4s] and as you make your way up these grand staircases,
[2008.0s] everything does have a grand staircase on this side.
[2010.6s] That's just...
[2012.1s] I'm imagining it like a manor kind of deal,
[2015.3s] like it's not like a business,
[2017.2s] it's not a building, it's like a manor.
[2021.3s] Yeah, totally, pillars, grand staircase.
[2023.8s] The fanciest of brothels.
[2026.1s] Yes, oh, absolutely.
[2028.1s] Upscale.
[2028.9s] You make your way up to the front entrance
[2030.8s] and there is, of course, a couple bouncers standing outside
[2035.7s] and they look down at you.
[2037.4s] They're hulkingly tall men
[2041.9s] in very clean-cut blazers
[2044.3s] and they look down at you and say,
[2047.8s] do you have an appointment?
[2050.7s] Hey, boys, yeah, I need to see Ignatius.
[2053.8s] Bonwyn, he's waiting for you.
[2057.7s] Straight in, up the stairs,
[2059.8s] you know where his office is, right?
[2061.3s] Of course, yeah, you bet.
[2062.6s] And she's with me, so.
[2065.9s] Tag along, that's fine.
[2068.1s] They open the door for you
[2069.7s] and inside everybody's in very luxurious satin robes.
[2075.1s] There are candles along the walls.
[2077.2s] There's a chocolate fountain in the middle of the room
[2080.7s] because that feels luxurious, right?
[2082.5s] Oh, yes, nothing screams class
[2084.6s] like a chocolate fountain.
[2086.7s] It's weird how many brothels I've seen in shows.
[2091.7s] I have such a clear vision in my mind
[2094.0s] of velvet and chaise longs
[2097.6s] and half-naked men and women.
[2099.7s] Long rouge, kind of like.
[2102.3s] Yes, exactly.
[2104.1s] And I imagine because this is the fanciest brothel,
[2108.4s] we're gonna see all different types of,
[2113.7s] not just dwarves and elves and half-elves.
[2117.2s] There are dragonborn and sort of more exotic,
[2121.3s] something for everyone's taste.
[2122.7s] Exactly, all of that.
[2125.7s] And you make your way up,
[2128.9s] observing the surroundings,
[2130.8s] perhaps even a little bit more than yourself.
[2133.8s] And you make your way up the stairs
[2136.1s] and to the office door of Ignatius,
[2140.3s] which is at present time closed.
[2144.6s] Well, I'll just knock.
[2147.1s] Just barge in.
[2147.9s] Who knows what's going on in there?
[2149.7s] Yes, just a second.
[2153.7s] You hear a scuffling of papers and a buckling of pants.
[2160.2s] Hey, Neven.
[2161.3s] Yeah?
[2162.1s] No matter what you see in there, do not laugh.
[2165.6s] Okay.
[2166.5s] I mean it.
[2168.5s] I mean it.
[2169.4s] Okay.
[2170.2s] This is a very important client for me.
[2171.1s] Of course, why would I laugh?
[2171.9s] If you don't think you can handle,
[2173.6s] you, I'm just saying.
[2175.3s] Okay.
[2177.3s] Got it.
[2178.2s] Yeah.
[2179.0s] Okay.
[2180.3s] And the door swings open
[2184.6s] where you see before you Ignatius.
[2187.5s] What does Ignatius look like, Carla?
[2190.4s] Well, as mentioned, Ignatius is dressed all in green.
[2194.2s] And you would think that if you were gonna go
[2196.0s] for that cohesive of a color scheme,
[2197.8s] it would all match,
[2198.6s] but it's somehow all weirdly different shades of green
[2201.5s] that do not match.
[2203.5s] But all very high quality
[2204.8s] and like quite ostentatious.
[2207.5s] He is an elf.
[2208.5s] So tall, slender, dark hair, blue eyes,
[2214.6s] and you know, looks middle-aged, but he's an elf.
[2217.9s] So that could mean anything.
[2220.9s] Should look elegant based on the quality
[2223.9s] and cut of the clothing,
[2225.5s] but Bonwyn suspects he's colorblind.
[2229.1s] So he just picks all green so it matches,
[2231.3s] but he doesn't understand
[2232.3s] that there are different colors of green.
[2235.6s] So it's, yeah.
[2236.5s] Yeah.
[2237.3s] I'm gonna make a constitution saving throw
[2239.8s] for your friend who lets out like a.
[2242.9s] And I turn and I'm like, just really.
[2248.9s] Can she turn it into a cough?
[2250.7s] Bonwyn slap her on the back harder than necessary.
[2253.8s] Everything's green.
[2255.4s] Like floor to ceiling.
[2258.3s] This is lovely.
[2260.2s] Sorry.
[2261.0s] Just a little tickle in the throat.
[2262.9s] I'll just keep to myself.
[2265.3s] There's a washroom down the home even if you need to.
[2268.4s] I will excuse myself for just a moment.
[2271.3s] Great.
[2272.5s] And they excuse themselves to go use the washroom
[2276.3s] in which Ignatius lets you in
[2278.1s] and two well-dressed people,
[2281.7s] one male, one female, leave as you enter.
[2285.9s] Says, yes, yes, come on in, Bonwyn.
[2288.1s] It's a little early for the delivery.
[2289.9s] Is everything go okay?
[2291.9s] It is truly the most beautiful thing I've ever made.
[2295.1s] I think you're gonna be really pleased.
[2297.7s] He says, bring it in, bring it in, put it on the desk.
[2300.7s] Walks behind the desk.
[2302.1s] And as you enter, of course everything is green
[2305.0s] but like the room as you recall it
[2308.7s] is like overflowing with very exquisitely
[2313.2s] put together books.
[2314.4s] There's gold coins piling up out of drawers
[2320.1s] and on top of desks.
[2324.2s] There's a huge chandelier in the middle of this room
[2327.9s] that is completely made of gold and gem and jewels.
[2332.6s] Like the room itself is just one of the most
[2335.3s] exquisite places that you feel like you've ever been.
[2340.1s] I can't wait.
[2340.9s] I've been waiting for this for so long.
[2342.7s] Let me see, let me see, let me see.
[2345.9s] Well, please.
[2347.5s] And I sort of clear a spot
[2349.7s] and then I step back and say,
[2350.5s] just tug on that little ribbon there and.
[2353.7s] He pulls the ribbon.
[2356.1s] And the silk sort of float away
[2358.7s] and the box kind of opens itself.
[2362.3s] You hear a gear move and it goes and it opens
[2366.4s] and there's the blade.
[2367.5s] My goodness, it's better than I could have thought.
[2370.1s] And this was used with the estrel, yes?
[2373.6s] Yes, this, I mean, I won't guarantee it won't break
[2378.2s] but I basically guarantee it won't break under normal use.
[2381.7s] It definitely will not break.
[2383.7s] And I don't want to encourage any violence.
[2388.9s] But normal use with this could entail a lot of things.
[2392.3s] It's very, please don't touch the blade
[2394.7s] and of course, free sharpening included for life.
[2397.0s] So just get someone to send it to the shop
[2399.6s] and we'll get it sharpened up
[2401.3s] but it's gonna hold an edge for a long time
[2404.0s] and please pick it up, see how it feels.
[2407.2s] Grabs hold of the handle and holds it steady.
[2412.6s] It's perfect.
[2414.0s] The weight is just immaculate
[2416.1s] and he starts just waving it around in front of him.
[2419.7s] Just like this, yes?
[2421.1s] Oh, I haven't done much in sword
[2423.7s] but I knew that I needed one
[2426.0s] and this was the one that I needed.
[2428.0s] Oh my goodness, he continues just walking
[2431.0s] around the room parrying
[2432.6s] and jumping towards the wall and the sconces
[2436.9s] and gets it wrapped up in one of the large tapestries
[2440.7s] that are hanging on the wall.
[2443.1s] Oh, please, please allow me, allow me.
[2448.3s] Perhaps I need to take a lesson or two.
[2450.0s] Yes, I mean, if you need the name of a sword master,
[2453.3s] I of course know many.
[2455.4s] You could just maybe train with something less sharp.
[2458.8s] Of course, of course.
[2460.1s] I will go down to the sword master
[2462.8s] and have them give me a lesson or two
[2464.7s] before I head out on an adventure of sorts
[2467.6s] which I do have coming up here not too long from now
[2470.7s] which is why I needed this.
[2471.8s] Do you? Yes, yes.
[2474.1s] What kind of adventure are you going on?
[2475.9s] There's apparently rumor has it up in the Mii Mountains
[2480.0s] a bit of a treasure hoard
[2482.0s] which is rumored to be stashed
[2483.7s] by one of the pirating groups.
[2485.9s] Interesting.
[2487.8s] So heading out in the next couple of days
[2489.7s] I'll take in a few lessons,
[2492.3s] recruit a few people to come help me
[2495.5s] and then just see how it goes.
[2496.8s] That's what the adventuring ways do, adventurers do.
[2500.7s] That's what I hear anyways.
[2502.4s] Yeah, absolutely.
[2503.8s] Yeah, I see quite a few in my shop
[2505.7s] and they're always just very, just out for a good time.
[2510.9s] The adventuring life.
[2513.3s] Break out of these four walls, am I right?
[2516.5s] You hear a clearing of a throat behind you
[2520.7s] and you turn and you see Neven's everything done in here.
[2525.2s] Yes, I think so, Ignatius, you're happy.
[2527.9s] Yes, yes, totally happy.
[2530.5s] And he swings the sword again and nicks his fingers.
[2532.9s] Ah, son of a...
[2534.8s] That was on me.
[2536.0s] That was on me.
[2537.1s] And maybe while he's doing that
[2538.7s] I am gonna pocket a few of those kind of loose gold coins
[2543.1s] because he's not gonna notice.
[2545.4s] Sure, slight a hand with advantage.
[2548.8s] I think this is your first roll.
[2551.4s] It is.
[2552.8s] That's a 16.
[2555.1s] Perfect, yeah, you're able to grab,
[2556.6s] when I say they're literally like rolling out of drawers,
[2560.7s] like you can grab a handful or two if you wanted to
[2563.9s] and you manage while he's trying to wrap up
[2566.9s] a piece of fabric around his hand to stop the bleeding.
[2570.6s] Yeah, and he's using that silk
[2572.5s] that was really gorgeous and expensive and important, so.
[2577.3s] This will stem the bleeding.
[2579.4s] Yes, everything's fine in here.
[2580.8s] I'll have somebody look at this in a moment.
[2582.5s] That was totally on me.
[2584.0s] No worries, no worries.
[2585.6s] Not going to take any sort of legal action against you,
[2588.2s] but we need to make sure that you're making
[2590.5s] all the best weapons for my new adventuring party.
[2594.8s] That's right.
[2595.7s] I mean, it is now your sword and your hand
[2598.5s] and your establishment, so.
[2599.6s] Yes, yes, yes, of course.
[2601.1s] I can send the doctor up on my way out
[2603.9s] the house position.
[2604.9s] Good idea.
[2605.7s] Yes, I'm gonna put this down here.
[2607.2s] I'm getting a little lightheaded
[2608.4s] and he sits down behind his desk.
[2610.6s] Just let yourselves out.
[2612.2s] Yes, please send the medical professionals up.
[2615.6s] I won't move a muscle.
[2617.7s] I'll be right here.
[2619.7s] Two of you walk back down the stairs
[2622.5s] where you're able to flag a doctor.
[2625.4s] Yeah, I assume most of the finer sex work establishments
[2629.5s] would have an on-staff doctor,
[2631.1s] so I'll send them up to 10 to Ignatius.
[2634.9s] And when we're leaving,
[2636.2s] I'm gonna give those gold coins
[2638.1s] to the two guys working the door.
[2640.5s] Sure, yeah.
[2641.4s] All done in there?
[2642.3s] Oh yeah, you bet.
[2643.1s] Here, I got a little something for you.
[2644.9s] You're working hard out here.
[2646.3s] It's gonna get cold tonight.
[2647.5s] Probably something to keep you warm.
[2650.2s] Fret yourself to a warm mug of ale.
[2651.7s] Oh, thanks so much.
[2652.6s] Thanks so much, Bonwyn.
[2653.5s] Yeah, yeah, come any time.
[2655.8s] You're not around here very often,
[2657.1s] but I appreciate it.
[2658.2s] Not many people tip the bouncers.
[2660.6s] And you two make your way back down the stairs.
[2663.0s] Off to find a tavern or an inn
[2667.8s] to celebrate the evening.
[2670.5s] Yeah.
[2683.8s] Back in Brewed Awakening.
[2686.9s] Oak is up on a table.
[2689.8s] Of course he is.
[2691.1s] Boys night.
[2692.4s] Swinging his shirt around.
[2694.1s] Hey, give Lauren!
[2695.7s] Hey!
[2697.2s] Hey!
[2698.6s] Yeah.
[2700.0s] I'm right here.
[2702.3s] I thought you couldn't hear me for a second there.
[2705.3s] No, loud and clear.
[2706.3s] What's next on the plan?
[2709.5s] I have you, I don't know.
[2711.7s] I have something in mind,
[2712.9s] but I don't know if you've played it before or maybe.
[2717.7s] It's called We Surely Haven't Done That.
[2719.9s] Maybe you're familiar.
[2721.9s] I just never, I've heard of it.
[2724.2s] I've surely never played it.
[2726.3s] So I got a drink and he takes a big drink.
[2729.3s] Okay, so you know the rules.
[2731.0s] Yeah, we're gonna have to ask the questions
[2735.0s] and do the thing before it gets too wasted
[2737.1s] and falls and cracks his head open.
[2739.5s] Then I got like a health and safety thing,
[2741.7s] workers compensation, I don't even know.
[2744.2s] Yeah, you know what, Pinch,
[2745.1s] we've maybe over-surfed him a little bit here,
[2746.9s] so we'll try to get through this pretty quick.
[2748.4s] Okay, I'll help you down.
[2751.0s] No, thanks, thanks for that.
[2752.7s] You see some at the table.
[2754.2s] How do you play Surely Never Done?
[2757.2s] Well, first you ask a question
[2759.5s] of what you surely haven't done.
[2762.1s] I surely never been this drunk before.
[2764.7s] And he takes another drink.
[2766.1s] Just like that?
[2766.9s] Oh, yeah, well, all right.
[2769.8s] Pretty quick on the draw there, O.
[2771.3s] Okay.
[2772.1s] All right, here we go.
[2774.3s] Surely I have never slept on a mountain peak.
[2778.1s] Oh.
[2782.7s] So you drink if you did it or not did it?
[2785.3s] You drink if you did it.
[2786.5s] Oh, I never slept on a mountain peak and bench.
[2790.4s] I slept on the mountain peak, a drink.
[2793.3s] I mean, it was a lower level mountain for me,
[2795.5s] but yeah, same.
[2796.3s] What was the name of the mountain?
[2798.2s] I was Lich Mountain.
[2799.9s] Lich Mountain, whoa, you've been around, man.
[2803.0s] That's like on the other side of the way.
[2805.8s] Oh, yeah, there was a few years where I was younger
[2808.2s] and I was traveling all over.
[2809.6s] There were a few years where you were younger.
[2811.7s] Wow, that's a statement and a half.
[2814.0s] And he takes another drink.
[2815.3s] Did you want to go next, ask a question?
[2816.8s] Oh, yeah, surely.
[2819.6s] Oh, we surely haven't filed an 842
[2825.0s] when we were supposed to file a B794.
[2829.9s] Surely haven't done that.
[2831.1s] I mean, it's very work specific.
[2834.2s] I know I've never done that one.
[2835.7s] There's no paperwork.
[2837.4s] I mean, I might've done it.
[2839.4s] If I don't know, do I still drink?
[2840.7s] Sure, yeah, you can drink.
[2842.3s] Be part of the group.
[2843.5s] I can't definitively say I haven't done those.
[2845.7s] So yeah, sure, take a drink.
[2847.4s] Great, now we've all done it.
[2849.0s] Okay, I'll go now.
[2853.3s] I surely haven't, I surely haven't
[2858.5s] double crossed a companion.
[2861.5s] Anybody?
[2862.6s] Anybody drinking?
[2865.8s] What do you mean a companion?
[2867.9s] Like, you know, a friend, someone you adventure with,
[2871.5s] someone you just hang out with on a regular basis,
[2875.9s] maybe a work acquaintance.
[2877.2s] Oh, well, when you bring work into it,
[2881.8s] he takes a drink.
[2882.8s] Oh, okay.
[2885.1s] I may have, I may have,
[2889.0s] surely haven't done that
[2890.3s] and explained in explicit detail, is it?
[2893.0s] Look, I ratted out the last guy
[2896.3s] for not filing the correct appropriate amendments
[2900.7s] to the raises in taxes, okay?
[2905.1s] Like he was so against how much tax we charge in this town
[2910.5s] and there's not even like,
[2912.3s] he said something about like education
[2914.7s] isn't even like part of where the taxes go.
[2917.5s] It's like, yeah, the schools were closed
[2918.9s] before this mayor.
[2921.1s] I mean, what do you mean you ratted him out?
[2924.1s] Did he do something wrong or was he just bad at his job
[2927.1s] and you got him fired?
[2928.0s] He was just terrible at his job.
[2929.6s] Like he wouldn't stand for anything that we were doing.
[2933.0s] He kept trying to report back to Kingstown
[2935.5s] about all the things that the mayor does.
[2938.9s] Well, like what, for instance?
[2941.0s] Well, well, he didn't like how, hold on.
[2946.3s] How much is he gonna, he's gonna tell a little bit.
[2950.3s] Oh, he's dishing.
[2951.7s] Okay, this is between you,
[2954.7s] this is between us, us, the Geis Knights.
[2957.3s] Oh, yeah.
[2958.1s] Geis Knights.
[2959.1s] Yeah, no problems.
[2961.7s] Okay, so the mayor just loves money
[2967.5s] and the only way, because the mayor doesn't work,
[2973.7s] so to speak, like really just takes advantage
[2977.9s] of the kind people in the city
[2980.6s] and how much money they have
[2983.5s] and through taxation takes in all that money.
[2988.9s] Like I think we're up to, with this latest increase,
[2991.9s] like a 75% taxation.
[2995.3s] Oh, wow.
[2996.1s] And you don't feel like the appropriate amount
[2997.8s] of representation has been available?
[3001.0s] Uh, oh, well, it's not really for me to say
[3004.7s] whether it's appropriate or not.
[3007.1s] It's more just the will of the king,
[3011.9s] the will of the,
[3013.2s] I can't even remember what we call this guy.
[3015.9s] He runs the town.
[3017.7s] Well, that's the mayor.
[3018.7s] And that's the mayor.
[3021.3s] The mayor does it.
[3022.5s] The king is fine, but the mayor, he taxes.
[3027.2s] But wait, is the mayor telling people
[3029.1s] that the king has demanded these funds?
[3032.7s] Yeah, that's why people don't like Kingstown.
[3037.3s] Oh, okay, I see.
[3039.5s] They also don't let many people across the bridge
[3043.1s] and if you've noticed,
[3044.0s] like the bridge is like a really nice bridge.
[3047.2s] Yeah, it's a nice bridge.
[3048.4s] Yeah.
[3049.2s] One of the best I've been on.
[3050.1s] They stay on that side.
[3052.2s] And then the school really just teaches people
[3055.3s] how to make more money for the mayor.
[3060.9s] Gotcha, gotcha.
[3062.5s] Another question from a bench maybe this time?
[3065.4s] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[3066.8s] I mean, I...
[3067.7s] Maybe about expedited paperwork for tomorrow?
[3070.1s] Oh, good call, good call, right now.
[3072.8s] I never have I ever not given a drinking buddy
[3078.0s] his business back.
[3080.5s] So if I don't do that, then I have to drink.
[3084.7s] But if I give you your business back,
[3086.9s] then I don't have to drink.
[3088.7s] That's right.
[3090.3s] Oh, I'm getting pretty wasted.
[3093.1s] Well, what do you say you don't drink?
[3095.1s] We'll go grab some of that street meat
[3097.1s] and then bright and early tomorrow morning,
[3098.6s] first thing, we will get this paperwork
[3101.1s] through for bench.
[3103.0s] That sounds like a great idea.
[3105.0s] Make a persuasion with advantage.
[3109.5s] I think I'm drunk.
[3110.4s] I'm drunk.
[3111.2s] Are you drunk?
[3112.1s] Russ is conned down drunk from playing Oak.
[3116.7s] First roll, persuasion is a 17 with advantage.
[3120.7s] We're looking at a 10, so 17.
[3122.4s] 17.
[3125.2s] Yeah, his insight is not great.
[3130.0s] Obviously.
[3132.4s] Okay, street meat and get you all set up
[3136.0s] with your business back up and running
[3138.1s] by the end of the day tomorrow.
[3140.1s] I could do that.
[3141.2s] That's the spirit Oak.
[3142.7s] We can do that.
[3143.6s] I could do that.
[3144.8s] Dream team over here.
[3146.2s] Dream team, baby.
[3150.1s] All right, where's the meat?
[3157.1s] Alydin, you are down at the bottom of the ladder.
[3161.0s] You're quiet and you're waiting.
[3163.9s] Tally is off a few feet and behind you,
[3166.8s] you heard the scattering feet of the children above
[3170.3s] and then you hear some heavy footsteps
[3174.1s] coming into the warehouse.
[3177.8s] It's muffled voices,
[3179.5s] but does sound like the same voices
[3181.6s] of Kenny's people from yesterday.
[3183.6s] You hear them walking through
[3186.7s] and then one of them calls out
[3189.5s] and it's like.
[3194.5s] And then there's the footsteps are a little quicker paced
[3197.8s] and they're walking over to where you are
[3200.7s] and you hear loud footsteps
[3202.8s] on top of the board above you.
[3207.6s] Tally.
[3208.7s] Yeah.
[3210.4s] Get in the crate.
[3212.5s] Get in the crate, okay, okay, okay.
[3215.9s] Are you getting up in the crate too?
[3218.5s] Yes, and I'm gonna drag a lid with me.
[3221.2s] Okay, the two of you hop inside.
[3223.4s] Are you hopping inside the same crate?
[3224.7s] Yes.
[3225.5s] Okay, two of you hop inside one of the crates
[3227.5s] and it's filled with straw and some old linens inside.
[3231.9s] You pull the crate on top of you
[3233.5s] when you hear the panel open
[3235.5s] and light begins to stream into this cellar
[3239.6s] as you pull the crate lid on top.
[3248.5s] Dumbgeons and Dragons, season three, episode three.
[3252.4s] This episode starred Amy More as Alydin,
[3255.2s] Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Everbane,
[3257.6s] Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave,
[3260.0s] and Russ More as your Dungeon Master.
[3262.5s] Dialogue editing by Carla Maxted
[3264.5s] and sound design by Russ More.
[3266.8s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound
[3269.3s] and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,
[3271.6s] Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.
[3273.9s] Our amazing cover art and character design
[3276.4s] Our amazing cover art and character designs
[3278.8s] are by Matt Garbite.
[3280.1s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[3282.5s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiak,
[3284.4s] Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
[3286.4s] Christian Brown, Craig Zeiss,
[3288.4s] Barry Mady, Ongorong Kiersing,
[3290.5s] Old School Gamer D, L.A. Branton,
[3293.1s] Nathaniel Teeter, Luna, and Aaron.
[3295.8s] Another huge thank you to some patrons
[3297.8s] who provided some lovely pieces of the world today,
[3301.3s] including My Name is D,
[3302.7s] gave us a saying for the world, Apes Nuts,
[3305.6s] and a little hint at a name
[3306.9s] that'll come up later in the show,
[3308.3s] but Kinney of Kinney's Men,
[3310.3s] who made an appearance in last week's episode,
[3312.7s] is a name that will be expanded upon in future episodes
[3316.0s] from Lawrence William Welsh Jr.
[3318.8s] Do you wanna help us build out the world?
[3320.5s] Well, we're taking suggestions from patrons.
[3322.8s] You can do so at patreon.com slash dumb dragging cast.
[3326.2s] And not only that,
[3327.1s] we've got a whole other podcast over there
[3329.1s] where we're having a blast.
[3330.5s] In fact, as I record this tonight,
[3331.9s] we're recording two more episodes of that one.
[3333.9s] So come on over, listen to the adventures of,
[3337.6s] join the community, it's gonna be a great time.
[3340.3s] Before, after, during that, whenever.
[3342.7s] Did you know we have a newsletter?
[3344.1s] There's a link tree down in the description
[3345.9s] where you can sign up for our newsletter,
[3347.5s] get informed at the beginning of the month
[3349.0s] of what's coming up, what's coming your way.
[3350.9s] We've got a lot of things that we're very excited about
[3353.1s] and we want you to know.
[3354.3s] So sign up for that, join us on Discord,
[3357.0s] come join us on Patreon.
[3358.9s] Those are the three main ones.
[3360.4s] If you're doing any or all of those, we appreciate you.
[3364.3s] So thank you for listening.
[3365.7s] That's it for this week.
[3366.9s] We hope you enjoyed the fun.
[3368.4s] Have a great week and we'll talk to you soon.
[3370.9s] I feel like I want to give Bench a different voice
[3384.6s] because I just gave him like a,
[3385.7s] huh, you're in here kind of voice.
[3388.3s] Um.
[3389.9s] We're going for the often hilarious big man, tiny voice.
[3394.2s] Oh, that's good.
[3395.5s] Or like a classic kind of Arnie voice.
[3398.0s] You can go with Arnie, yes.
[3399.8s] He's always sounds like he's flexing, yeah.
[3402.3s] Yeah, yeah, okay.
[3403.6s] Yeah, a little bit of a strain always.
[3406.6s] Hi, guys.
[3407.8s] Gah, Kirk of London, ah, it's good to see you.
[3411.5s] Oh, come on in.
[3413.5s] Yeah, this is better.
[3415.7s] Absolutely hilarious.
[3417.5s] I only record our voice last time.
[3419.3s] We won't laugh at it until this time.
[3421.2s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.