[0.0s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons, I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More, he, him, and this
[5.1s] is the beginning of a new season, season three, which is a great place for new folks to start.
[11.7s] So if you've been listening to us for a long time, and you've been like, I've been trying
[14.9s] to recommend this to my friends, but we've had so many episodes, I don't know where
[18.0s] to tell them to start, now is the best time to do that because they can come,
[22.4s] they can get to know us, they can get to love us, and then they can go back
[25.1s] and listen to all the other amazing stuff that we have.
[28.4s] There are four of us as part of this show, there's me, my wife Amy More, and my two
[32.4s] best friends, Carla Maxted and Tom Laird, you're gonna get to meet them very, very
[36.8s] shortly.
[37.8s] Before the show starts, we're gonna give you a couple ads, we are a Patreon-supported
[41.9s] show and an ad-supported show that helps us create more content for you.
[47.8s] And then we'll get right to the new season, jump into the new characters, and
[51.4s] have a whole lot of fun.
[52.5s] We hope you enjoy.
[53.5s] Thanks for listening.
[58.4s] Winter's Moth, a divided village, kind of shaped like a big penis.
[84.1s] Winter's Moth, full of burnt out people, waking up to say, hey, out on the way, you
[95.4s] buying this or what?
[97.6s] There goes dear Bonwyn, she is the best blacksmith, this side of the Me Mountains,
[104.3s] a unique skill with finesse, the only dwarf that's left in the city of high taxes.
[110.4s] Good morning Bonwyn.
[113.2s] Good morning Nessa.
[114.2s] Where are you off to today?
[115.7s] The docks, fresh shipment of esterilin, have an order to finish by the end of the
[119.8s] week.
[120.8s] That's nice.
[121.8s] Harry, easy there, calm down.
[125.6s] There's Kavlaran he's in over his head, checking up on city corruption.
[132.4s] He was sent here from Kingstown, cause the books are all bogged down, no denying
[136.9s] he'll be gone real soon, that's true.
[140.6s] Hey you!
[142.0s] You there!
[143.0s] She stole a baguette.
[145.0s] Hey you!
[146.0s] Stop thief!
[147.0s] Somebody help!
[149.0s] Where are my eggs?
[151.0s] That's too expensive.
[152.0s] The town is going to give me an ulcer.
[157.0s] Ah, Kavlar!
[158.0s] Oh, good morning Bench.
[159.0s] What do you have on tap today?
[161.0s] The Brood Awakening.
[162.0s] That's where we are, aren't we?
[164.0s] The gastropub?
[165.0s] The Brood Awakening?
[166.0s] Not since yesterday, my friend.
[167.0s] Wait, what do you mean?
[168.0s] Mayor Knapp's came and shut us down, said we didn't pay our taxes.
[171.0s] Ah, it doesn't make any sense.
[173.0s] From what I saw in the books, you were all squared up.
[175.0s] I think you could put in a good word for me, you good old pal Bench.
[178.0s] I mean...
[179.0s] Please, Kav.
[180.0s] I'll see what I can do.
[182.0s] I can't make any promises though.
[185.0s] Look, there she goes, the thief is robbing my cart.
[189.0s] I wonder when the guard will catch her.
[192.0s] With her grubby torn up look.
[194.0s] And her friends up in that rook.
[196.0s] Won't someone stop that crook?
[198.0s] HOLIDAY!
[200.0s] Oh, isn't this amazing?
[206.0s] It's my favorite part because you'll see.
[215.0s] Here's where the guard comes hauling.
[222.0s] Hauling ass that is to catch sweet little me.
[229.0s] Somebody get her!
[230.0s] Hey, stop there!
[231.0s] Get her away!
[232.0s] Ah, where'd she go?
[233.0s] Look, there they go, the new team from Dungeons.
[236.0s] A most peculiar intro, yes.
[239.0s] It's a city and a sim.
[241.0s] That they don't quite fit in.
[242.0s] Cause I really am a funny girl.
[244.0s] A persistent and a funny guy.
[246.0s] You can't catch me, I'm a funny girl.
[251.0s] DUNGEONS!
[256.0s] And dragons!
[257.0s] Fuck it, let's play!
[271.0s] We hear a cluster of footsteps as a group of guards are chasing down an alleyway
[275.0s] after you, Alydin.
[277.0s] You've been nimbly moving through the crowd after picking up a baguette from the bakery down the street.
[282.0s] Amy, describe for us what Alydin looks like.
[286.0s] To paint us a picture of this new and exciting character that you have.
[291.0s] Alright.
[292.0s] Well, Alydin is a young female half-elf.
[299.0s] And she is pretty skinny and scrawny.
[303.0s] She's a street kid.
[305.0s] She's got short red hair, which she's cut herself, so it's patchy.
[310.0s] It's patchy, man.
[311.0s] She's got green eyes, pale skin, and is pretty beragged.
[317.0s] Beraggled, beragged, raggedal, raggedy and.
[320.0s] She's a scrappy.
[323.0s] She's a doll.
[324.0s] She snaps as a sweetheart.
[327.0s] And she's quick.
[328.0s] She is moving along.
[330.0s] She knows these back streets and the alleyways like the back of her hand.
[336.0s] So which is where she's got a scar of a bite mark where her best friend Tally bit her when she was younger.
[342.0s] And clanging beside her is this.
[347.0s] It is like.
[349.0s] Like sand castle bucket type size of a pale that she's got a piece of leather strapped around its handle.
[358.0s] And she's kind of wearing it like a like a purse side satchel.
[362.0s] And it's what she carries a lot of her things in.
[365.0s] So she's got the baguette tucked in there and then also up into her little vest to keep it from bouncing around as she is hurtling over garbage cans and puddles.
[378.0s] You're running down in a way.
[380.0s] The sound of the city guards are getting farther and farther.
[383.0s] You're looking over your shoulder just to make sure that you've in fact lost them before tucking down another alleyway that's going to lead you back home.
[394.0s] When as you round this corner you thud straight into the chest of a city guard who is very familiar to you.
[405.0s] You thud straight into the chest of Sergeant Dase and you look up and you see the gold gleaming armor in front of you and he is scowling down and reaches for the baguette.
[419.0s] I'm so fast.
[421.0s] So.
[423.0s] You gotta roll for this.
[424.0s] This is a game.
[425.0s] You can't just say.
[426.0s] All right.
[427.0s] I'm going to use computer dice.
[428.0s] Will this roll set the tone for the entire season?
[431.0s] Who knows?
[432.0s] This is the first roll.
[435.0s] And it's on the computer.
[436.0s] First roll.
[437.0s] Oh I don't like it.
[438.0s] Do you want dice dice?
[439.0s] Yes give me dice dice.
[440.0s] Here is a set of dice dice.
[444.0s] Tom made this so high stakes.
[446.0s] I know.
[447.0s] Are we going to break the streak?
[449.0s] You only get your first roll once.
[451.0s] That's right.
[452.0s] That's true.
[453.0s] All right.
[454.0s] So I'm rolling for like a real good dodge.
[459.0s] I feel like that's acrobatics.
[465.0s] That's a dexterity kind of vibe.
[467.0s] He's reaching for the baguette and you're trying to back up.
[471.0s] Okay.
[472.0s] Here we go you guys.
[473.0s] No pressure.
[474.0s] Drum roll please.
[475.0s] I'm so nervous.
[476.0s] This is all Tom's fault.
[477.0s] You got this.
[478.0s] You totally got this.
[479.0s] Oh.
[480.0s] Oh.
[481.0s] Well it's a 14.
[482.0s] So that's not that bad.
[483.0s] That's great.
[484.0s] That's a totally fine roll.
[485.0s] That's a good above average roll.
[486.0s] That's like a top 70 percent roll.
[488.0s] That is my age.
[490.0s] So.
[491.0s] Yeah.
[492.0s] We didn't say.
[493.0s] Oh yeah.
[494.0s] You're a kid.
[495.0s] I'm a youngin'.
[496.0s] 14 years young.
[497.0s] Which is true.
[498.0s] That's 14 with your modifier.
[500.0s] Yes it is.
[501.0s] Perfect.
[502.0s] So 13 plus one.
[505.0s] Contested he's going to try and grab you and does not.
[508.0s] So he swipes his big paw down at you.
[511.0s] You dodge back and he says Alydin strike two this week.
[517.0s] Who's keeping track.
[518.0s] I am.
[519.0s] You have nothing better to do than to keep track.
[522.0s] Yeah no that's all I've got to do is keep track of you because every time I turn a corner
[527.0s] someone's screaming hey Alydin's stolen something.
[530.0s] Sounds like a real crappy job.
[532.0s] Who'd you make mad to get this job.
[535.0s] He just glares at you.
[537.0s] Listen.
[538.0s] It's one baguette.
[540.0s] I had seen the baker drop it on the ground.
[543.0s] He was just going to chuck it out anyway.
[545.0s] Uh huh.
[546.0s] He just has a grudge against me because of that one time I knocked over that sack of
[550.0s] flour.
[551.0s] He takes a step towards you.
[553.0s] I take a step back.
[556.0s] You've got one more chance and then you're going in the blocks for a week.
[561.0s] Alright.
[564.0s] One more chance this week right.
[567.0s] It's like a good like three shots a week you know.
[570.0s] Look Alydin I don't think they're going to give you many more chances to stay
[574.0s] out of this.
[575.0s] All right.
[576.0s] I understand what you're saying.
[577.0s] You need to look me in the eye and tell me that you understand.
[583.0s] Alydin scrunches up her face and looks up at him and goes.
[589.0s] I get it.
[591.0s] I won't get caught next time and whoop she zips by him and whoo parkour is down
[596.0s] the down the alleyway.
[598.0s] Is that persuasion or deception that you tried to roll.
[602.0s] That's sarcasm.
[604.0s] Deception.
[605.0s] So roll deception.
[606.0s] You can get by him.
[607.0s] He's not going to try and stop you.
[610.0s] Oh that's a 16.
[613.0s] Guys I might be making this year this decade.
[619.0s] He the scene we fade out on there is you duck and weave beside Sergeant Dase
[627.0s] and he turns and watches you go and disappear.
[632.0s] And as you round the corner that you're heading down this rest of the city
[636.0s] guard all come up behind him.
[638.0s] Wait where.
[640.0s] Which way did she go.
[643.0s] Lost her.
[646.0s] Guys I did it.
[647.0s] I didn't roll a dice rolls.
[650.0s] It's all happening.
[651.0s] It's happening for me.
[655.0s] Oh happy days.
[656.0s] Happy days.
[658.0s] We'll be right back.
[663.0s] It's the middle.
[665.0s] Hey everybody.
[666.0s] That's the new.
[667.0s] That's the new way we get into the middle.
[669.0s] We hope you like it because it's not going anywhere.
[671.0s] Yeah.
[672.0s] And Russ worked so hard on it.
[674.0s] Yeah.
[675.0s] We want to make Russ's life just like the tiniest bit easier.
[678.0s] Little pieces that are pre done that we're doing.
[681.0s] We're trying it out.
[682.0s] Let us know what you think in the comments.
[684.0s] There's no comments for podcasts.
[686.0s] What are you saying.
[688.0s] Let us know.
[689.0s] Like comment subscribe smash that smash that like button.
[692.0s] Exactly.
[693.0s] There you go.
[694.0s] I apologize to everybody.
[696.0s] Yeah.
[697.0s] Sorry about that.
[698.0s] Hey it's a new season.
[699.0s] That's more exciting.
[700.0s] It is so exciting.
[702.0s] Wild.
[703.0s] Now Carla can't be here today.
[704.0s] She's under the weather when we're recording this.
[706.0s] But we're all super jazzed about the new season.
[709.0s] It's going to be so much fun.
[710.0s] Oh let me say something that Carla would say.
[713.0s] Can you believe we actually remembered how to play this game
[716.0s] and came out with a season three.
[718.0s] Oh my gosh.
[719.0s] It's like Carla's here.
[721.0s] It's a new season slaps.
[723.0s] Nailed it.
[724.0s] It's a new season.
[725.0s] I wonder if I'm going to punch a teen.
[727.0s] Oh yeah that's a good one.
[731.0s] We love you Carla.
[732.0s] We love you Carla.
[733.0s] Love you Carla.
[734.0s] Hope you're listening to this.
[735.0s] And I'm sure we'll get texts as soon as it happens.
[737.0s] Can't wait.
[738.0s] So what do we want to say.
[739.0s] OK.
[740.0s] You've been with us for a while.
[741.0s] Maybe.
[742.0s] Thank you for being here for season three.
[744.0s] We hope you're enjoying the one character you've met so far
[748.0s] because the middle comes you're going to meet two more.
[750.0s] It's not all about me.
[752.0s] It's not all about Amy.
[753.0s] We'll get to those other two.
[755.0s] Don't you worry.
[756.0s] There's a great song off the top.
[758.0s] Oh my god.
[759.0s] We're not committing to doing a song every episode.
[761.0s] Oh no.
[762.0s] Heavens no.
[763.0s] Oh yeah that's not just a new thing we're going to start.
[766.0s] But I mean like at the same time.
[768.0s] It's something we can aspire to.
[770.0s] Maybe songs will pop in every now and then.
[772.0s] Maybe.
[773.0s] Absolutely.
[774.0s] We all like music.
[775.0s] So that's happening.
[776.0s] We're very excited.
[777.0s] It's a whole new world.
[779.0s] A whole new world.
[781.0s] Disney's already on us for that first one.
[784.0s] So we can just double down now at this point.
[787.0s] They're already in trouble.
[789.0s] What else?
[790.0s] What else?
[791.0s] What else?
[792.0s] We have things.
[793.0s] OK.
[794.0s] Now.
[795.0s] Wait.
[796.0s] That was if you listen to us forever.
[797.0s] This is if you're new.
[798.0s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[800.0s] Yeah.
[801.0s] Hi new people.
[802.0s] We love you.
[803.0s] So glad you're here.
[804.0s] We hope you keep listening to the middle.
[805.0s] This is just the rambling little bit where we give you a little bit of like the what's
[809.0s] going on with us.
[810.0s] Like how we're going to be doing merch through Patreon.
[813.0s] That's right.
[814.0s] So we do.
[816.0s] We are a Patreon supported podcast.
[819.0s] As well as an ad supported podcast.
[822.0s] Because.
[823.0s] Money.
[824.0s] Capitalism.
[825.0s] We're just trying to make just a little bit.
[827.0s] But what we love about Patreon is that there is an amazing community over there of just
[834.0s] truly spectacular people.
[836.0s] And if you listen to the end, there's a bit of an extended credits.
[839.0s] It's a it's a new season.
[840.0s] There's a lot of things that we're kind of covering.
[842.0s] But there are a lot of names in there of people who support us and have contributed
[846.0s] names and places to this new town that we're in.
[849.0s] And you could be one of those.
[851.0s] So all you got to do is go to patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast and sign up today
[856.0s] for as little as five bucks a month.
[858.0s] And you get a whole bunch of bonus content.
[861.0s] Oh, yeah.
[862.0s] There's like so many episodes of a second show that I run every month.
[866.0s] And it's awesome.
[867.0s] Tom runs it and we play in it.
[869.0s] And if you know us, you know us.
[872.0s] If you don't know us, you're going to get to know us.
[874.0s] And it's going to be a great time.
[875.0s] Yet you're going to be like, who is Russ as a person?
[878.0s] Because you're listening on this side of things as, you know, DM Russ.
[885.0s] But then you get over to Patreon to Tom's game.
[889.0s] And it's like it's more of a chaos agent, Russ.
[893.0s] Definitely. Oh, yeah.
[896.0s] He's living his best random trickster life over there.
[901.0s] So if nothing else, go to see what that looks like.
[904.0s] But what Amy mentioned is that we have Patreon merch coming February 20, 24.
[910.0s] So what does that mean?
[911.0s] If you've been with us for a long time on Patreon,
[914.0s] you will get, depending on what tier you're at, you will get a piece of merchandise.
[918.0s] Could be a sticker, could be a mug, could be a t-shirt.
[921.0s] If you've been with us for a long time, chances are good it's just going to get shipped to you.
[925.0s] So make sure that your shipping address between now and February 1st is like right up to date.
[930.0s] OK, this is your warning.
[932.0s] If you're coming over to sign up like this month,
[936.0s] if you sign up this month, that counts as a month towards the three months that we would love for you to be with us.
[942.0s] But then you get the merch at the end of that.
[944.0s] So really, you're just front loading some great, wonderful present that you're going to receive from us.
[953.0s] If your address is correct in Patreon, otherwise we cannot guarantee.
[958.0s] No, make sure your address is correct.
[960.0s] And email while you're at it, too.
[962.0s] And then we get we got all the details that we need to ship the great things to you.
[968.0s] Have we rambled long enough that I can tell you about a podcast that I've been listening to?
[973.0s] Let's do a whole just whoop shift into that.
[976.0s] Absolutely.
[977.0s] That's how we do things here.
[979.0s] The show that I want to recommend to you is called Looters.
[983.0s] It's relatively new show on the podcast scene.
[990.0s] Found them, reached out to them, was like, hey, I love your show.
[994.0s] Do some like guesting and swapping of like promos and stuff.
[998.0s] They're lovely. They're like us.
[1000.0s] I love them already.
[1002.0s] Tell me more.
[1003.0s] Like they're just here to get to give the gears to their game master.
[1008.0s] Excellent.
[1009.0s] They respect play an action packed sci fi western adventure.
[1015.0s] Oh, I love what I'm hearing.
[1017.0s] Right.
[1018.0s] In a unique universe full of different factions vying for control over the outer rims.
[1024.0s] Are there space lizards?
[1026.0s] Of course there are space lizards.
[1028.0s] Thank God.
[1029.0s] All right.
[1030.0s] You get to follow the looters crew as they run from giant space lizards.
[1036.0s] They face off against intergalactic outlaws and occasionally deal with roommate shenanigans aboard their ship.
[1043.0s] Oh, thank God.
[1044.0s] You know what?
[1046.0s] Right.
[1047.0s] We need some shenanigans.
[1048.0s] That's right.
[1049.0s] Show me that Big Brother house.
[1050.0s] In the most recent episode, there was a little, this one stood out to me.
[1054.0s] There was a point in which the DM in character was like splitting up the team into two different teams
[1062.0s] and partnered two people who clearly don't get things done and like sidetracked all the time and put them together.
[1070.0s] I think it was a real character building moment.
[1073.0s] I'm sure it's going to go just swimmingly.
[1075.0s] All right.
[1076.0s] Where can I find the show Russ?
[1077.0s] Looters is an actual play show.
[1079.0s] They use the Stars Without Numbers game system.
[1081.0s] You can tune in to new episodes every Tuesday.
[1084.0s] That's the day before we release episodes.
[1087.0s] Wherever you get your podcasts or at looterspodcast.com.
[1092.0s] That's the end of the middle.
[1094.0s] There's going to be a couple ads just to kind of warn you.
[1097.0s] That's where we're going to put them from now on.
[1099.0s] Just right here.
[1100.0s] And then we'll get you back to the show.
[1102.0s] So thank you so much for listening.
[1103.0s] You have a great weekend.
[1104.0s] We'll talk to you very soon and enjoy the next two characters that you get to hear from.
[1109.0s] OK, bye.
[1110.0s] Love you. Bye.
[1111.0s] Bye.
[1112.0s] We hear the sound of the rushing river, the river river that is named after Colonel River who fought a famous battle on it.
[1120.0s] Obviously.
[1121.0s] Oh, yeah.
[1122.0s] There is a commemorative plaque, which I'm sure we'll get to at some point.
[1126.0s] But we are in the docks.
[1128.0s] There are many ships, all with different goods that have been coming up and through Vintersmouth.
[1137.0s] Carla, we see Bonwyn coming down onto the docks.
[1140.0s] She's expecting a shipment.
[1143.0s] Give us a give us a description of Bonwyn and what what Bonwyn's doing here.
[1152.0s] Bonwyn is a female dwarf.
[1156.0s] She is a blacksmith and she is dressed as such basically always.
[1161.0s] So kind of real beat up leather apron.
[1165.0s] She's kind of cling clang in because she's got some tools in her tool belt and her pockets on that.
[1171.0s] Just sort of like rough homespun shirt, leather pants like it's a dwarf finesse weapon creator PPE that she's kind of always wearing.
[1182.0s] Love it.
[1183.0s] She is, of course, quite short because dwarf, but she is also quite wide.
[1191.0s] Like she's a big lady, curvy, but large.
[1195.0s] She has really long dark hair, super curly, always up in like braids to try and keep it out of her way while she's doing her work.
[1206.0s] But she kind of always has like a little bit of a glow.
[1211.0s] She works somewhere very hot, rosy cheeks all the time.
[1216.0s] And that humidity from that forge gets that curly hair.
[1220.0s] So she's got some loose tendrils, always kind of escaping.
[1226.0s] Oh, I was going to say it just sounds like she'd be a really good hugger.
[1229.0s] I think she would be a really good hugger.
[1231.0s] She's strong, too.
[1233.0s] So it's like a good squeeze.
[1234.0s] You get a good one.
[1235.0s] Yeah, good.
[1236.0s] I thought that was a soft hug.
[1238.0s] Important to point out that she's a good hugger.
[1241.0s] Love it.
[1242.0s] And she is quite smiley and knows a lot of people as she's like traveling from the forge to the docks for her special metal shipment that's coming in.
[1258.0s] You are walking down and you see the merchant who you regularly deal with unloading heavy crates from the ship known as the Sturdy Bowman.
[1275.0s] That's not a ridiculous ship name.
[1278.0s] What podcast are you doing right now?
[1280.0s] And it doesn't start with a G even.
[1282.0s] Oh my god.
[1283.0s] We're starting a new show.
[1286.0s] I just picked a new letter.
[1287.0s] I broke it.
[1288.0s] You haven't figured it out if it's an S or a B yet.
[1291.0s] Could be anything.
[1293.0s] The ship, the Sturdy Bowman, and the merchant that you're familiar with is Neldor Parik.
[1302.0s] We got an Nelly and a Neldor and a Nigel.
[1305.0s] Uh-oh.
[1306.0s] And a Nelly and a Neldor.
[1309.0s] It's an N.
[1310.0s] It was Nessa, too.
[1311.0s] Now we know.
[1312.0s] This is a different name than I just said.
[1316.0s] Philvendor Parik.
[1318.0s] There we go.
[1320.0s] Not an N.
[1321.0s] Philvender?
[1323.0s] Exactly.
[1325.0s] Love it.
[1327.0s] Oh, that's good.
[1330.0s] Okay.
[1332.0s] Philvender.
[1333.0s] He doesn't have a last name.
[1334.0s] His name is Philvender.
[1338.0s] You see Phil unloading heavy shipments of ore and minerals and everything off of his
[1344.0s] ship.
[1345.0s] He doesn't notice you immediately, but the closer you get, he catches your eye or you
[1350.0s] catch his eye.
[1351.0s] And he calls over to you and says, oh, hey, hey, Bonwyn.
[1354.0s] Yeah, come on over.
[1355.0s] Come on over.
[1356.0s] Hey, Phil.
[1357.0s] And then goes back to just directing people to different spots on the dock.
[1362.0s] He says, it's great to see you.
[1363.0s] Oh, how have you been?
[1365.0s] You know, good.
[1366.0s] How about you?
[1367.0s] How was the trip?
[1368.0s] Oh, pirates really tried to get us on this one.
[1371.0s] Yeah.
[1372.0s] Yeah.
[1373.0s] It seems like you're still full.
[1375.0s] Yeah.
[1376.0s] A little a little worse for wear up on the mast.
[1378.0s] So we've got to really just do a little fix up before we go back out.
[1381.0s] But we managed to keep them at bay.
[1384.0s] I know we had a precious piece of precious cargo here for you.
[1387.0s] You do have something very precious.
[1389.0s] I've been waiting so long for this shipment of estrel.
[1393.0s] This is I need it for a really special order.
[1396.0s] So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1398.0s] So we talked about the price and you said it was OK.
[1401.0s] Yes.
[1402.0s] So 80 gold should settle us up.
[1406.0s] It was a little bit larger than it was before.
[1409.0s] It went up just a little bit.
[1411.0s] OK.
[1412.0s] Well, I mean, that's not the price that we had discussed or agreed upon.
[1416.0s] I'm aware.
[1417.0s] I'm aware.
[1418.0s] You know, additional concerns on the shipment.
[1423.0s] You know, everything was a little bit more difficult.
[1426.0s] But what did we discuss?
[1428.0s] Did we say 50 or did we say 60?
[1430.0s] We said 60.
[1431.0s] And I mean, I understand pirate problems, but still that sort of captain problem, not really a customer.
[1439.0s] Yeah.
[1440.0s] Problem.
[1441.0s] Yeah.
[1442.0s] No.
[1443.0s] You know, you're a repeat customer.
[1444.0s] So what I can do, what I can do is I'll give it to you for the 60 and then maybe maybe you can I can get something from you at another time.
[1452.0s] Like none of this.
[1453.0s] None of this estral stuff.
[1454.0s] But like, Bill, I was going to say I'll take it for 70 and I can get you some some iron work to help fix that mast if you want.
[1464.0s] I understand times are tough for everybody.
[1466.0s] I'm not trying to, you know, if you get.
[1469.0s] Yeah.
[1470.0s] If you can help me fix that up like within.
[1472.0s] I don't know.
[1473.0s] They're they're telling me it's going to take two weeks.
[1475.0s] But if you can help them do a lot faster than that, then I can like I'll give it to you for the 60.
[1480.0s] Well, you know, I've got Thane in the shop and they do great, like kind of quick and dirty work, but it will be super solid.
[1486.0s] It's yeah, that's you know, I want you to keep coming back and keep bringing me this stuff I need.
[1492.0s] So yeah, yeah, it's a rough ride getting out to a strandal.
[1499.0s] They really just upped every all the pirates have really just up their their business in the region.
[1506.0s] Fucking River Pirates, right?
[1508.0s] You would think with all the the soldiers coming in that this would be getting better, not worse.
[1516.0s] Weird that anyway, I'm not sure what they're doing over there on the other side of the river.
[1523.0s] You and me both wish we had somebody to check in on like.
[1527.0s] Anyway, that's not not our problem.
[1530.0s] We're here. We're safe.
[1531.0s] No, here's your shipment and he points to a couple of guys.
[1535.0s] You know, they'll even help take it down to the shop for you, because that's a heavy move.
[1540.0s] So they got you there and anything you can do to help speed up the process to get me back out on the water.
[1545.0s] That'd be amazing. Thane will take care of it.
[1548.0s] It's no problem. Yeah, we'll we'll get you fixed up.
[1551.0s] And hey, thanks. I really appreciate it.
[1554.0s] I can't count on anyone else to bring this in for me.
[1557.0s] Thank you, Bonwyn. And he hears a big crash up on the ship.
[1561.0s] He says, what the hell is that? I got to go. I'll see you later.
[1565.0s] Phil runs back up on ship and you followed by two of his crewmen head back out and towards the hot block.
[1573.0s] And as Phil runs up on the deck, we see over the river and into the noble region of Vintersmouth.
[1581.0s] We follow our friend Kavlaran Goldweave, who's headed back towards the mayor's office
[1587.0s] to talk about the possible tax issues going on with the city.
[1592.0s] And his friend, Ben Ripley, the proprietor of the gastro pub, The Brood Awakening.
[1600.0s] Now, as you walk up the grandiose steps towards the mayor's office, Kavlaran walks past a large monument to the current mayor,
[1613.0s] Nigel Knops, which is a gold statue of himself.
[1621.0s] Right in the front entryway.
[1624.0s] Classy.
[1625.0s] Subtle.
[1626.0s] Yep. You pause for a second, look at it, perhaps shake your head,
[1631.0s] and then move towards the big, huge double doors of this mayor's office.
[1636.0s] They're big and huge?
[1637.0s] They're big and huge.
[1638.0s] Oh my god.
[1639.0s] They're big and huge, right?
[1640.0s] Oh my goodness. Are they also gold?
[1642.0s] They have gold inlay. Like, it's not entirely gold. That would just...
[1646.0s] Oh yeah, it's not austin tape. It's just gold inlay.
[1650.0s] Tom, give us a description of Kavlaran as he is entering the mayor's office and where he's going,
[1658.0s] and perhaps even who he interacts with first once we get there.
[1662.0s] Okay. Were there stairs? Because if there were, he's a little out of breath,
[1666.0s] not like to the point where he's like gasping and wheezing or anything,
[1670.0s] but like a little colour in the cheeks because he's a bit of a bigger fellow.
[1674.0s] When I do say grandiose staircase, there are 50 stairs that you have to walk up to.
[1678.0s] Perfect.
[1679.0s] Oh wow. Winded, I guess.
[1681.0s] Turns out he is a little out of breath after climbing those stairs and opening the gold inlay door.
[1689.0s] Kavlaran used to be pretty athletic. Not so much these days.
[1694.0s] He's filled out quite a bit. There's a little bit of extra weight kicking around.
[1699.0s] Some heft, if you will. He's about five foot eight. He's got a full beard.
[1705.0s] He's very blonde, like kind of almost platinum blonde.
[1709.0s] Has a couple gold bands that are on his right wrist.
[1714.0s] Oh, and a shield and a mace, both strapped to his back.
[1718.0s] Which is what all of the clerical workers carry in this world is a shield and a mace.
[1724.0s] Never know. Isn't he wearing some fancy pants?
[1727.0s] He has some just generic adventuring pants on. Yes, he does.
[1732.0s] There was early talks of heavy bloomers, but then I think we moved past those pretty quickly.
[1737.0s] We dialed that back a little bit. In retrospect, it wasn't the best.
[1742.0s] He is rocking, what did we decide, like a tunic?
[1746.0s] There was a word for it. A jerkin.
[1750.0s] A jerkin.
[1752.0s] Who lost it? A sleeveless vest, which is a jerkin, over a modest doublet.
[1759.0s] Yeah. Yes.
[1763.0s] It's the basic uniform of all the bureaucrats in town.
[1767.0s] Amazing. So out of breath, you're walking through the main entryway of the mayor's office.
[1774.0s] You're almost immediately greeted, almost like they were waiting for you.
[1779.0s] Your assistant while you are here, Oak is their name.
[1784.0s] They come over and they're wearing, they are about your size, about 5'6 to 5'8, slender build.
[1796.0s] They're wearing a heavy, almost corduroy jacket.
[1803.0s] It's got a nice double lapel. They've got messy black hair, stubble.
[1812.0s] Also half-elf.
[1814.0s] They are also a half-elf.
[1816.0s] They come running up to you and say, Kavlaran, it's great to see you.
[1820.0s] Today, I've got all your paperwork here.
[1823.0s] He's carrying a huge stack ready to go.
[1826.0s] Do you want me to hand it to you here or just take it to your office?
[1829.0s] I'm ready to make sure that we are checking all the books, not overlooking anything.
[1834.0s] These are the ones that we have to look at today.
[1837.0s] Oak, slow down.
[1840.0s] I'm still catching my breath a little bit after those stairs.
[1845.0s] Which paperwork?
[1848.0s] We're going to go to your office and we're going to look over the paperwork.
[1852.0s] Because that's what you're here to check up on the paperwork.
[1856.0s] This is the paperwork that we're supposed to look at today.
[1862.0s] Speaking of paperwork, what is going on with Bench?
[1868.0s] What do you mean? What's going on with Bench?
[1871.0s] I was just down at Brewed Awakening and he's closed for all intents and purposes.
[1877.0s] It kind of sounds like the mayor maybe stripped the name off the business as well.
[1881.0s] The mayor wouldn't do that without good reason.
[1885.0s] Perhaps Bench is just owing on some taxes.
[1889.0s] That's usually what happens when businesses get their licenses revoked.
[1893.0s] They haven't been paying, keeping up.
[1895.0s] He did say something about taxes.
[1897.0s] But we just went over that paperwork yesterday and everything looked good.
[1901.0s] That was the paperwork we were supposed to look at yesterday.
[1904.0s] You are correct.
[1906.0s] But we did look at it.
[1908.0s] We were allowed to look at it yesterday and it looked all good.
[1912.0s] Let me go talk to Nina.
[1916.0s] Nina knows everything that's going on about these sorts of things.
[1920.0s] Then we'll get back to you about potential tax increases
[1924.0s] that may have stripped Bench of their business.
[1930.0s] While you're talking to Nina,
[1932.0s] can you get her to pull the 32 forms on the sculpture outside of the mayor?
[1939.0s] I'm just kind of curious what that cost?
[1942.0s] Oh, that was a gift.
[1946.0s] Then you've filled out the 17 Bs as well to market as a gift.
[1951.0s] I'm going to go talk to Nina about that.
[1953.0s] Get the 17 Bs and the 32 As on the gift.
[1958.0s] I'll be right back.
[1962.0s] Just list some bra sizes at this point.
[1965.0s] I'm going to get the 36 Bs.
[1969.0s] I'll get those 29 double Ds.
[1974.0s] You know what? I'm going to go put these in your office.
[1976.0s] I'm going to go talk to Nina.
[1977.0s] I'll meet you back in your office.
[1979.0s] He zips off down the hall,
[1982.0s] leaving you standing in the middle of the front entryway.
[1990.0s] What do you want to do?
[1991.0s] I don't want to go back to the broom closet
[1994.0s] that they've got me set up in that has no windows.
[1997.0s] So maybe I'll take a wander through the mayoral library.
[2002.0s] Okay, okay.
[2005.0s] We see Kavlaran round through this entryway,
[2010.0s] walk past a giant fountain on his way to the mayoral library
[2015.0s] where a big, big, large, big, huge, big descriptor.
[2021.0s] We're an enormous.
[2022.0s] Thank you.
[2023.0s] Where an enormous door awaits him,
[2025.0s] pushes it open and sunlight begins streaming through
[2028.0s] into this grandiose library.
[2038.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons Season 3, Episode 1.
[2041.0s] And yes, that's the beginning.
[2043.0s] And we're so excited.
[2045.0s] This episode starred Amy More as Alydin,
[2048.0s] Carla Maxted as Bonwyn Neverpain,
[2050.0s] Tom Laird as Kavlaran Goldweave,
[2053.0s] and Russ More as your dungeon master.
[2055.0s] Dialogue editing by Carla Maxted
[2057.0s] and sound design by Russ More.
[2059.0s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound
[2061.0s] and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,
[2063.0s] Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.
[2065.0s] And I can't forget about our new art.
[2067.0s] That's by Matt Garbutt.
[2068.0s] You can follow him at ArtMonkeyMG in the places.
[2071.0s] We'll put a link in the description as well.
[2073.0s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers.
[2075.0s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babiuk,
[2077.0s] Kat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
[2079.0s] Christian Brown, Craig Zeitz,
[2081.0s] Mady, Ongerong Kearsit,
[2083.0s] Old School Gamer D, L.A. Branton,
[2085.0s] Nathaniel Teeter, Luna, and Aaron.
[2087.0s] And another thank you to those who gave us names
[2089.0s] and places and all the great stuff.
[2091.0s] Like today's patrons, Kat Waterflame,
[2093.0s] who gave us the names Dace, Oak, and Nessa
[2095.0s] to use in the show.
[2097.0s] Jonathan Bell, who gave us Bench Ripley.
[2099.0s] And TwigletserGreat2Eat, who gave us Thane Bloom.
[2101.0s] And can't forget, FrenchCanadianWill,
[2103.0s] who gave us The Brewed Awakening.
[2105.0s] Join us today at patreon.com
[2107.0s] slash dumbdraggingcast for so many reasons.
[2109.0s] You get to join the community,
[2111.0s] where you get to hang out with all of these amazing people
[2113.0s] that I've mentioned, and us, the cast.
[2115.0s] I guess you could do that too.
[2117.0s] But your support helps us do more things.
[2119.0s] I mean, the big goal here is
[2121.0s] to maybe make this a full-time job,
[2123.0s] where we can just travel around
[2125.0s] and play games and meet all the cool people
[2127.0s] that are listening to our show.
[2129.0s] That would be really awesome.
[2131.0s] You can join for as little as $5 a month,
[2133.0s] which gets you access to countless hours
[2135.0s] of bonus audio.
[2137.0s] There's another 300 episodes on there
[2139.0s] of Dumbgeons Downtime and the exclusive show
[2141.0s] to Patreon, The Adventures of,
[2143.0s] which is a show that we do
[2145.0s] that has like, I think we're in like
[2147.0s] season 5 or 6 now. It's run by Tom
[2149.0s] and Amy Carla and I play characters in it.
[2151.0s] That's how D&D works.
[2153.0s] But we have that over there too.
[2155.0s] And did I mention that we want to do live shows?
[2157.0s] Yeah, we're going to be doing some digital stuff
[2159.0s] this year, where patrons will get in for free.
[2161.0s] I've rambled for far too long now.
[2163.0s] We do bloopers at the end.
[2165.0s] So after I'm done talking here,
[2167.0s] is there going to be a little funny funny?
[2169.0s] Sometimes it's a little one,
[2171.0s] sometimes it's a big one.
[2173.0s] You don't know until you listen to find out.
[2175.0s] There's a link tree down in the description.
[2177.0s] Join us on Discord,
[2179.0s] follow us on Instagram where you can keep up
[2181.0s] with all the funny things that we're doing
[2183.0s] and where you can get to know us a little bit more
[2185.0s] and we can get to know you.
[2187.0s] I've been rambling too long.
[2189.0s] I'm just excited for the new season to be here.
[2191.0s] Okay? And don't forget to go check out
[2193.0s] Looters. We mentioned them in the middle.
[2195.0s] Great show. We're hopefully going to do
[2197.0s] some guest swapping coming up this
[2199.0s] season. So keep an ear out for that.
[2201.0s] Okay, I'm done talking now. Thanks for
[2203.0s] listening. You have a great week.
[2205.0s] And we'll talk again real soon.
[2210.0s] Where we begin to follow our friend
[2212.0s] Kavlaran. Now I
[2214.0s] wrote down a word
[2216.0s] that is either gold wealth
[2218.0s] or gold
[2220.0s] weelf.
[2222.0s] Is it? We've gold. We've son
[2224.0s] of a bitch.
[2226.0s] I mean, I thought originally about wealth.
[2228.0s] Yeah. Well, well, well
[2230.0s] the what was what
[2232.0s] were you trying to say? I don't know. It looked like
[2234.0s] an L.F. and I was like
[2236.0s] wealth. Wealth.
[2238.0s] I'm not the only one who can't
[2240.0s] read his writing. Yeah, no.
[2242.0s] And it was it was completely
[2244.0s] legible right up until those two letters.
[2246.0s] It's like, oh no
[2248.0s] this. Gold we've. Oh yeah,
[2250.0s] no problem. Dumbgeons and Dragons
[2252.0s] is a dumb dragons production.