[0.0s] Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[30.0s] Sounds great, let's go!
[32.0s] Oh my gosh, friends, it's been so long since I've seen anybody, come, come with me!
[36.0s] Where, where, where have you been?
[38.0s] Benjamin, it is so fun to see you, I thought everyone was gone.
[42.0s] No, no, we've all been here!
[44.0s] Something is not quite right.
[46.0s] Yes, something isn't right, something isn't right!
[49.0s] You still have to swing harder and then you can get free and then you can come play!
[52.0s] I want to come play, help me!
[54.0s] What can you do? How can you get free? I'll help you. He reaches his hand out for you.
[59.0s] Are you okay?
[62.0s] I'm bleeding.
[63.0s] Yeah, you stabbed yourself multiple times in the shoulder for some reason.
[67.0s] Yeah, a real bunch.
[68.0s] I'll go up to Rex and just like put my hand on his neck.
[72.0s] This figure like cranes its neck and begins like cracking its bones as if it begins to move.
[83.0s] I'm gonna turn undead.
[85.0s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your dungeon master Russ More. He, him, also with me today is Amy More.
[92.0s] She, her, I am and I'm here and I'm awake and everything's good.
[97.0s] Doing great, you're really perked up.
[99.0s] I know, yeah. And I play Thea Amastasia, a high elf druid, don't you know?
[104.0s] And Carla Maxted.
[106.0s] She, her, I'm playing Yen Bolnuri, a Kalishtar cleric.
[111.0s] And Tom Laird.
[112.0s] He, him, and I am playing Telgir Heavyfoot and he is a mountain dwarf pAlydin. Also goes by he, him.
[120.0s] And joining us this week because we trapped her in a room with no doors, it's Kristen Flemmons from the Broad Swords.
[127.0s] This week and every week to come.
[131.0s] One of us.
[133.0s] Blink twice if you really want out.
[135.0s] So many blinks.
[137.0s] That was like seven.
[139.0s] Get me out of here.
[141.0s] She, her, playing Agath, Godlass, blah, blah, blah.
[145.0s] See, I knew it couldn't last actually being able to say my own name.
[148.0s] You did it once, that's all that matters.
[149.0s] Agath, Godlass, Katho, Olavi.
[152.0s] Got it.
[153.0s] She, her.
[154.0s] Well, thank you for being here again.
[156.0s] This is the episode where maybe Kristen gets to go home.
[160.0s] We'll see.
[162.0s] Maybe.
[163.0s] To the happier timeline of the Broad Swords.
[166.0s] I mean, sort of.
[169.0s] We'll see.
[171.0s] What are we talking about on Patreon?
[172.0s] What do we got over there?
[173.0s] Something.
[174.0s] This is a good segue.
[176.0s] Yeah, it's really good.
[177.0s] Hey, we've got goals over there.
[179.0s] I think is what we're trying to get at.
[181.0s] And one of them could be a special one-shot episode where I got to play Grancis and Flamikinskins.
[187.0s] And Amy, Tom and Carla DM'd for me for two hours.
[190.0s] Oh, we DM'd so hard.
[192.0s] Yeah, it was a great time.
[193.0s] Doesn't it sound like a great time just to hear one person talk to themselves for two hours, Kristen?
[198.0s] With three DM's?
[199.0s] With three DM's.
[200.0s] Imagine all the bridges and doors.
[202.0s] Right?
[203.0s] There were so many bridges and doors.
[205.0s] And buttons.
[206.0s] Can't forget the buttons.
[207.0s] Just big infrastructure projects.
[208.0s] My favorite kind.
[209.0s] Civil engineering is what it was of the abyss.
[211.0s] We're fans.
[212.0s] But we would love for you to join us over there.
[214.0s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[215.0s] And when you are a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you like today's patron, Christopher Walton.
[222.0s] Christopher Walton?
[224.0s] You have such a grown up name.
[226.0s] That is a grown up name.
[227.0s] Maybe they're a grown up.
[228.0s] Maybe they are.
[229.0s] I don't know.
[230.0s] You know how some people have grown up names?
[233.0s] Sure.
[234.0s] No, I agree.
[235.0s] I mean, I hope that Christopher is a grown up because we say some pretty inappropriate things on here.
[240.0s] But then again, also, some people let their children listen to us before bedtime.
[245.0s] So it can go either way.
[248.0s] And we're not judging.
[249.0s] Wild choices all of a sudden.
[250.0s] We're not judging to those children.
[252.0s] I'm hoping it's just the Mooklin and Sully storyline.
[255.0s] Oh, I hope not.
[257.0s] You've heard some of the things Sully says over there.
[259.0s] Just as I don't even take responsibility.
[261.0s] Some of the things Sully says over there.
[263.0s] Not me.
[264.0s] I would never say those things.
[265.0s] But yeah, thank you, Christopher, for being here and for having such an adult name.
[270.0s] And now, fuck it, let's play.
[276.0s] This figure before Rax begins like the bones begin cracking and its arms begin moving.
[284.0s] And it lets out this, like, cough scream towards you that startles Rax back.
[292.0s] And Agoth, you were going to cast something before I so rudely ended the episode.
[299.0s] Yeah.
[300.0s] Another post-it note down.
[302.0s] I am going to channel divinity if that works.
[307.0s] Interesting question.
[308.0s] Like, it is magic, but it's not like a spell.
[312.0s] So maybe it doesn't work, but I will attempt to turn undead because that's what these things seem like to me with their gross flesh and cracking bones.
[321.0s] Sure, yeah.
[322.0s] I mean, it's a good, good, good idea.
[325.0s] So if it works, all of them, if they're undead, within 30 feet of me, make a wisdom saving throw.
[331.0s] DC 17.
[334.0s] In a twist, Sia makes a saving throw.
[340.0s] Wow, what a reveal.
[341.0s] Wow.
[344.0s] For the, as I said, they were all kind of around the perimeter.
[348.0s] I didn't say how big this room was.
[350.0s] No.
[351.0s] Is it more than 30 feet in radius?
[353.0s] Well, say it's a 50-foot room, but there are many of these creatures within this room.
[357.0s] I mean, if it's a 50-foot room and I'm in the middle of it, the 30 feet should hit everything.
[361.0s] Yeah, absolutely.
[362.0s] It's like, I remember.
[364.0s] Math, Russ's downfall once again.
[366.0s] Circular math.
[367.0s] Hold on a second.
[368.0s] If it's not canceling out Amy's spell by two feet, then he doesn't want to do the math.
[373.0s] So half of the room seems unaffected, spotty throughout the other half of the room.
[379.0s] All at the same time begin showing the same signs as this one.
[385.0s] And they begin cracking and moving and screaming.
[388.0s] And then they turn.
[390.0s] This one in front of Rex also turns.
[393.0s] And they all begin walking towards the walls.
[397.0s] Bumping into the other ones, who now are all beginning to move.
[405.0s] In a twist, I'm also going to channel divinity, turn undead.
[411.0s] Okay.
[412.0s] Nice.
[414.0s] And I sort of was cutting out, but just like wherever a goth didn't get,
[418.0s] that's where I'm going to try and focus it.
[420.0s] We've basically determined that you can get the whole room.
[423.0s] It's just half of the group saved.
[426.0s] Okay.
[427.0s] Half of them saved.
[428.0s] Then I'm going to try it too because I like a goth style.
[432.0s] Also, yeah, TC-17, I don't know if it always is, but that's what it is for me too.
[439.0s] All right, well we've got a new half of the room.
[442.0s] One half, 13.
[445.0s] The other half of that half, less good.
[448.0s] So all of them begin moving.
[452.0s] And as they begin moving and the light showing the rest of this room
[457.0s] and you see all of these creatures begin to articulate and gesticulate
[463.0s] and push themselves up against the wall,
[466.0s] because that's what I imagine turn undead does,
[469.0s] there is probably a hundred of them in this room.
[473.0s] Bumping up against the wall.
[475.0s] All just walking into the walls.
[477.0s] Yeah.
[478.0s] This is awkward.
[479.0s] How long will they do this for?
[483.0s] It's a really good question.
[485.0s] One minute, one minute, or until it takes damage.
[487.0s] So I'll say don't hit them if you want them to stay moving away from us.
[493.0s] Okay, we have to find a way to get out of here.
[497.0s] So you do like a really quick canvas of the room
[500.0s] and anywhere I move it's sort of like, you know, reverse magnet.
[503.0s] They like scatter away like insects from the light kind of thing
[507.0s] Both Yen Bull and I are just like little sad zombies running away for a minute.
[513.0s] Like when you squirt dish soap in a greasy dish and it's just like, oh no!
[517.0s] Cool.
[519.0s] So that's fun.
[520.0s] Do we see anything aside from scrambling zombie guys?
[526.0s] Oh, he had to bring the book out.
[528.0s] No, you don't.
[530.0s] You see like it's like just wood shambled walls.
[534.0s] Like you're able to like pry apart some, but it just looks like blackness behind.
[541.0s] There's not like tiles on the floor and some cool runic patterns or like a big X.
[548.0s] Push this.
[549.0s] A chandelier hanging from the ceiling.
[551.0s] Yeah.
[552.0s] No, there's not.
[553.0s] Any windows up there? Skylight?
[555.0s] As you all are observing the entire surroundings,
[559.0s] I see this ripple again through the room.
[564.0s] It like waves up and you even feel it move up over the floor.
[569.0s] And the ceiling seems like it gets smaller in this room.
[575.0s] Oh.
[576.0s] Nope.
[577.0s] Like lower?
[578.0s] Sorry, yes lower.
[580.0s] It seems like it's lower.
[581.0s] I am not going to get crushed in here with these yuck things.
[586.0s] Everybody make a wisdom save throw.
[588.0s] Again.
[589.0s] Yeah, that's this thing's thing.
[592.0s] 20.
[593.0s] That's pretty good.
[595.0s] 27.
[596.0s] 25.
[597.0s] 26.
[598.0s] Oh shit.
[599.0s] The tides have turned.
[600.0s] Everybody except Thea.
[601.0s] Okay, so we're back to normal.
[603.0s] Okay, perfect.
[604.0s] There we go.
[605.0s] Everything's right in the world again.
[607.0s] It was a weird episode last time, everybody.
[609.0s] We've course corrected.
[610.0s] We're back on track.
[611.0s] That's right.
[612.0s] I'm sorry.
[613.0s] Dave, you feel like a deep sense of anguish.
[620.0s] And you're going to take D10 psychic damage.
[624.0s] Oh my god.
[625.0s] No.
[626.0s] I know.
[627.0s] Sure, everyone else got to see fucking butterflies.
[630.0s] And a guy in a jean vest.
[632.0s] I got stabbed for like 14 points, thank you, or nine points.
[636.0s] It was pretty rough.
[637.0s] I know, but I have the ability to, and you know he's going to roll all sixes.
[641.0s] He's going to get Google to do it.
[642.0s] He's going to roll tens.
[643.0s] Yeah.
[644.0s] Oh, right.
[645.0s] So you're going to take 27 psychic damage.
[648.0s] I don't want to.
[649.0s] Ouch.
[650.0s] And also you see.
[651.0s] And also.
[652.0s] And also.
[653.0s] Wait, there's more if you order now.
[654.0s] There should be no more and also.
[655.0s] And also, actually everybody, we'll do this one at a time.
[660.0s] Within this group of moving beings, you see people you know come quickly in and out
[668.0s] of view.
[669.0s] Thea, for you, you see Nulara.
[673.0s] Turn to you, look at you, and then blend back in to the Horde.
[680.0s] For Yen Bull, you see off to the left, you see your mother.
[686.0s] Reaching out to you and then blending back in and you hear such a familiar voice
[692.0s] and you look and you turn and you see your father doing the same thing off to the right.
[697.0s] Bullgear, you're looking around trying to find a way out as wave comes over and you
[704.0s] see one of these creatures.
[707.0s] They're shorter.
[710.0s] The back of them looks familiar.
[713.0s] The salt and pepper hair tied up into a top knot.
[718.0s] Turn around and you see your husband, Thor, who looks at you deep into your soul
[726.0s] and then turns back and is gone.
[730.0s] N'Goth, you see the elven head priest of the temple of Aldath, Castine Arona.
[739.0s] They almost begin walking out of this Horde towards you.
[747.0s] And reach out to grab your hand.
[751.0s] And they're able to move towards me?
[754.0s] It appears so.
[756.0s] Um, I mean, I think N'Gath would be taken aback enough that
[761.0s] I don't know if she'd reach her hand out, but she'd probably let her hand be taken.
[768.0s] Your hand gets taken and it's a strong grip that pulls you in.
[774.0s] And with the other hand, a blade comes out.
[782.0s] And reaches and stabs deep into you.
[788.0s] That's a 22.
[791.0s] Oh, that just hits.
[793.0s] Seven piercing.
[796.0s] And as it stabs in, the features of this figure melt away and back to this undead creature
[803.0s] who lets out this shriek at you.
[807.0s] Let's roll for initiative, because things are going to get freaky.
[815.0s] Ten.
[816.0s] Fifteen.
[817.0s] Also fifteen.
[818.0s] Twelve.
[819.0s] Roll off.
[820.0s] Actually, you can go first if you want to.
[822.0s] Sure.
[824.0s] As you get stabbed into and this creature goes back to its undead form,
[828.0s] another wave rolls out across the room and you see
[835.0s] doors begin to open up.
[838.0s] There are five doors that appear around the perimeter of this room.
[843.0s] Do the doors have anything to distinguish them from one another?
[846.0s] No, they all look the same.
[848.0s] They're all closed. They're all wooden doors.
[850.0s] None have any sort of symbols or anything like that.
[855.0s] They just look like doors, where before there were no doors.
[858.0s] Wild.
[859.0s] Seems like a great-
[860.0s] Say door again.
[861.0s] What a boon, right?
[863.0s] Okay, I'm going to just shove whatever undead this is that just stabbed me away
[869.0s] and I'm just going to go for the closest door.
[872.0s] Okay, you begin moving towards the door, the undead part,
[877.0s] and you can make it to the door.
[879.0s] And you go to open it and step through?
[883.0s] At least open it.
[884.0s] Okay.
[885.0s] It opens into this rocky terrain that looks like you're on a cliff base.
[892.0s] And fire is shooting up from the ground.
[897.0s] You hear, you don't see, but you hear screams and calls
[903.0s] of what you could describe as some native creature to whatever this area is.
[910.0s] Can I do an investigation or a wisdom check of some kind
[916.0s] to see if I can peer through the illusion
[919.0s] or just focus really hard to see if I can tell what's actually there?
[924.0s] Yeah, you can make a wisdom saving throw.
[926.0s] Okay.
[928.0s] Oh, that's pretty good.
[930.0s] 28.
[933.0s] You see exactly what I described, and it seems like it's all there for real.
[941.0s] Okay.
[945.0s] I'll just turn to the others.
[948.0s] This one does not look great, but it is somewhere else.
[952.0s] Thoughts?
[960.0s] What's behind door number two?
[962.0s] Yeah, exactly.
[965.0s] Okay.
[966.0s] I'm going to just keep it propped open and then see what other doors become available.
[970.0s] Okay. Roger that.
[972.0s] Are you attacking any?
[973.0s] Because you don't want to attack things because then they can attack you.
[976.0s] No, I'm not going to attack because then they're going to start being unturned.
[979.0s] Fair enough.
[980.0s] Okay.
[981.0s] But we'll say that's probably good for your turn.
[984.0s] Yeah, just get a proper door open.
[986.0s] Perfect.
[987.0s] Thea, we'll say you don't have the luxury of turn undead.
[990.0s] Yeah, I know.
[991.0s] I was going to say like when I go towards them,
[993.0s] but they're not going to actively fight me, right?
[995.0s] They are.
[997.0s] Oh, they might.
[998.0s] Oh, they might.
[999.0s] We're moving away from both Yen Bull and Agoth right now,
[1002.0s] but you're around one of them.
[1004.0s] Okay. I want to link arms with Yen Bull.
[1008.0s] Okay.
[1009.0s] And say, come with me.
[1010.0s] Come with me.
[1011.0s] And I want to go to the next door over from where Agoth is.
[1017.0s] Okay.
[1018.0s] And I want to try the door.
[1019.0s] Like I know it really looks like I'm using you as a tool right now, Yen Bull.
[1022.0s] I just...
[1024.0s] No, you should use me to keep the zombies away.
[1027.0s] This is a great plan.
[1028.0s] I want to open the door and see what's behind door number two.
[1031.0s] Door number two opens,
[1033.0s] and there is this cacophonous screaming sound that like hits you like a wave,
[1038.0s] like almost pushing you back.
[1040.0s] You see beyond like winds tearing across like this desolate, rocky, sharp terrain.
[1048.0s] Things in the sky and on the ground are all moving and roiling and churning.
[1054.0s] Does it sort of sound seem reminiscent of like pandemonium?
[1058.0s] Yeah. I'm like wondering, are these these hells that we are?
[1062.0s] Are these different domains?
[1065.0s] There are similarities to the descriptions that you see.
[1069.0s] TBD. Let's like keep opening doors.
[1071.0s] And if they start checking even more boxes, I think...
[1074.0s] I...
[1076.0s] That one's not nice.
[1077.0s] Because of screeching.
[1080.0s] This one doesn't...
[1081.0s] I don't like this one.
[1082.0s] This one doesn't look good.
[1083.0s] This one isn't good.
[1084.0s] It's the horde's turn.
[1086.0s] Tally another turn undead.
[1090.0s] Tulgear.
[1091.0s] And everyone's kind of like pieced out to the side.
[1094.0s] Yeah, left you standing in the middle.
[1097.0s] By your...
[1098.0s] Check your back.
[1099.0s] Am I at least hanging out with Rax still or is he gone as well?
[1103.0s] We didn't say if Rax moved or not.
[1105.0s] I mean, I feel like he would probably follow a gasp.
[1108.0s] Okay.
[1109.0s] Tulgear's just sitting on Rax.
[1112.0s] I mean, that works. Good vantage point.
[1114.0s] Right?
[1115.0s] Yeah, I mean, I guess I don't really want to wade into like the middle of all these guys without some some help.
[1122.0s] But maybe if the door closest to Thea and Yenbul is still within like the radius that they're putting off.
[1131.0s] I could head for that one.
[1132.0s] Because it's 30 feet for each of us that like they can't come within 30 feet.
[1136.0s] Yeah, you would get another door, right?
[1139.0s] Because it would push and like arch because you're at two doors.
[1142.0s] So yeah, you'd probably get another door.
[1144.0s] Okay, I'll make my way over to that door as best I can and swing it open.
[1149.0s] There's this forest before you.
[1152.0s] Thick brush.
[1154.0s] Like impossible really to see beyond the brush that's that's like right in front of you.
[1160.0s] You hear I guess what could be described as bird calls.
[1164.0s] They don't sound native to any birds that you've heard.
[1167.0s] There's the sound of insects crawling through that are amplified.
[1173.0s] And it's hot and muggy and humid like you get this humid wave that hits you.
[1178.0s] All right.
[1179.0s] Does that count as my action for my turn Rax?
[1183.0s] I mean, you can still have an action.
[1184.0s] You open the door. That's a free.
[1185.0s] All right. Fair enough.
[1186.0s] I'm going to use my divine sense so I can detect both good and evil.
[1192.0s] So the until the end of my next turn, I sense anything affected by the hallow spell,
[1199.0s] which doesn't matter or know the location of any celestial fiend undead within 60 feet that is not behind total cover.
[1205.0s] You don't get any rain or any sense of anything coming through the door.
[1210.0s] Obviously, you're surrounded by undead.
[1212.0s] You get a distinct feeling of that.
[1214.0s] Sure.
[1215.0s] But also you can sense a fiend, a fiend's presence.
[1221.0s] Predominantly, their aura is all throughout this room.
[1226.0s] We got a little something maybe a little worse than undead kicking around in here, guys.
[1233.0s] Just a heads up.
[1235.0s] Happy new.
[1236.0s] Yenbul, you are arm linked with Thea.
[1240.0s] We are the best of friends.
[1244.0s] Do we skip to another door?
[1246.0s] I'm going to I'm going to go open another door.
[1249.0s] I like I can I just like I mean, you're still linked arms, aren't you?
[1254.0s] Sure. For the for the purposes of being linked.
[1256.0s] Yes, absolutely.
[1258.0s] If it doesn't work out, I can always hop on piggyback.
[1261.0s] So you're going to basically the next available door.
[1264.0s] We got four doors, two more doors that have yet to be opened.
[1269.0s] You open it and there is this void.
[1275.0s] Complete blackness.
[1277.0s] And you feel this pit of despair wash over you.
[1284.0s] Make a wisdom actually both of you make a wisdom saving throw because you're arm linked.
[1289.0s] We are the best of friends.
[1292.0s] Oh, shit.
[1296.0s] Twenty nine.
[1297.0s] But you guys want to hear a fun fact that I just learned on my character sheet that would have been really super helpful.
[1302.0s] Last couple of fun ones.
[1304.0s] I have also learned since then I have dual mind.
[1307.0s] So when I make a wisdom saving throw, like all the ones that kick my ass last episode, you can use a reaction to gain advantage on the roll.
[1314.0s] You can use it before or after.
[1316.0s] You can just use it anyway.
[1318.0s] I probably don't need it now.
[1319.0s] Hopefully it's twenty nine.
[1321.0s] Perfect. Good.
[1323.0s] I want to use a lucky reading sheets and remembering rules is hard.
[1327.0s] It is.
[1328.0s] So since we're talking about things that would have helped last episode, I'll volunteer one.
[1335.0s] I have the ability to like give off auras because my dude's a pAlydin and there's multiples that affect both saving throws and initiatives.
[1347.0s] Brilliant.
[1349.0s] Do you guys need to adopt Kristen's method of character sheets?
[1352.0s] Post-it notes.
[1354.0s] Yeah, I think you're right.
[1356.0s] I thought I had read it all.
[1357.0s] I thought I like was up.
[1358.0s] But these high level characters, they got a lot of stuff.
[1362.0s] It's so hard to remember.
[1364.0s] Especially for Carl and I, like these are relatively new characters.
[1367.0s] We didn't grow with that.
[1368.0s] Not newer than mine.
[1370.0s] Okay, post-it notes.
[1372.0s] Take it easy.
[1373.0s] Yes, everybody's turned against each other.
[1375.0s] My plan has come back.
[1379.0s] Nobody needed plus four to every saving throw attempt last episode.
[1383.0s] No way.
[1384.0s] No problem.
[1385.0s] Wait a minute.
[1386.0s] I took like 30 damage.
[1388.0s] Well, you're going to take 31 more psychic damage.
[1393.0s] Yeah.
[1394.0s] That's a bad door.
[1395.0s] And that's a second hit on your despair.
[1400.0s] Conditions?
[1401.0s] Am I still exhausted?
[1403.0s] Yeah, you still have one point of exhaustion that we haven't really taken into account.
[1408.0s] There's no despair on here.
[1410.0s] Well, no, there's not despair.
[1413.0s] But I'm feeling very disparaged.
[1415.0s] You're feeling very disparaged.
[1417.0s] You just feel bad.
[1419.0s] Just bad.
[1420.0s] Kimball, you've looked into the pit of despair.
[1423.0s] Anything else you would like to do?
[1425.0s] I'm probably just going to close that door.
[1427.0s] Yeah.
[1429.0s] I don't want that one's bad mojo leaking out into the room.
[1434.0s] So I'm just going to close that one.
[1436.0s] But I don't think I'm going to do anything else because I don't want to take a risk of injuring any of the undead and having them be able to do something other than run away from me.
[1443.0s] All right.
[1444.0s] While weeping, can I take a piece of chalk and draw a small X on the doors?
[1448.0s] Sure.
[1449.0s] Yeah.
[1450.0s] Yeah, absolutely.
[1454.0s] Cool beans.
[1455.0s] All right.
[1456.0s] Back to the top.
[1457.0s] What are you playing?
[1461.0s] Pit of despair.
[1462.0s] Yada yada yada.
[1463.0s] Three points of damage.
[1464.0s] Cool.
[1465.0s] You all, I mean, you all move six seconds.
[1468.0s] You all move back, you know, to your doors and open them and then turn back.
[1471.0s] And you see, even Tulgear sees this.
[1475.0s] You see Tulgear standing in the middle of this room.
[1479.0s] He begins to move towards Thea and Yenbul with his battle axe drawn, swinging towards Yenbul.
[1487.0s] And just to clarify, Tulgear also sees Tulgear in the middle.
[1491.0s] You see two Tulgears.
[1493.0s] Yes.
[1494.0s] Great.
[1495.0s] Just wanted to make sure I understood.
[1497.0s] So that's going to be a 22 to hit.
[1500.0s] Yep.
[1501.0s] That will hit.
[1502.0s] That's 15 slashing damage.
[1505.0s] Neat.
[1506.0s] It's great.
[1507.0s] Everything's great.
[1508.0s] So there's one more door, hey?
[1509.0s] There is one more door, yeah.
[1512.0s] There is.
[1513.0s] I'm going to open that one.
[1515.0s] Okay.
[1516.0s] You open it and it looks like you are standing at the castle side of the bridge looking
[1524.0s] back up at the castle.
[1526.0s] Oh, so like out the front door basically?
[1528.0s] Yeah.
[1529.0s] Well, I don't want to go back to that bridge.
[1531.0s] That was no good.
[1532.0s] That one looks like a do-over door.
[1535.0s] Yeah, not good.
[1536.0s] We want the prison planet, Karsari.
[1539.0s] Bogs, jungles, hot.
[1542.0s] I think it must be that one.
[1544.0s] Yeah, I think it's this one.
[1546.0s] Cool.
[1547.0s] I'm going to go over to that door, but can I whack fake Tulgear on the way by?
[1554.0s] Absolutely you can.
[1555.0s] Swing away.
[1556.0s] Maybe a dual kick from Rax or something.
[1558.0s] Yeah, exactly.
[1559.0s] I say with advantage because his back's turned to you.
[1562.0s] Nice.
[1563.0s] And he seems super focused.
[1564.0s] I think I get three attacks.
[1567.0s] That sounds accurate.
[1568.0s] It does, yeah.
[1569.0s] Yeah, that sounds right.
[1570.0s] Cool.
[1571.0s] All right, I'll do that then.
[1573.0s] First, 14.
[1576.0s] Yes.
[1577.0s] Does that hit?
[1578.0s] Yep.
[1579.0s] Oh, it does.
[1580.0s] Okay.
[1581.0s] I wasn't sure if Ghost Tulgear had the same stuff as me or what was going on.
[1583.0s] So the first one is eight points of damage.
[1589.0s] So then 20 something will also hit.
[1592.0s] Six points of damage on the second hit.
[1595.0s] Wow, why does math get harder the more you do it?
[1598.0s] Seven plus nine is 16.
[1602.0s] You got there.
[1603.0s] Yes.
[1604.0s] Okay, cool.
[1605.0s] Here I go.
[1606.0s] This dice sucks.
[1608.0s] Another seven points of slash slash.
[1612.0s] So describe the three hits as they destroy this simulacrum, this clay mud creature
[1621.0s] that forms.
[1623.0s] I think it's like one hit through the legs that like the legs kind of dissolve out
[1628.0s] and then on the backswing like through the head and then turn it vertical and just
[1633.0s] pin it down.
[1634.0s] Nice, yeah.
[1635.0s] Skewer it top to bottom.
[1637.0s] It was excessive.
[1638.0s] It explodes out like dust and it just crumbles apart.
[1643.0s] Should brush some dust off her shoulder.
[1646.0s] So your goal, I mean everything's still turning undead for the time being.
[1651.0s] Your goal is to get to that forest door collectively, yes?
[1654.0s] Yeah.
[1655.0s] Yeah, Agatha, you can continue to move.
[1657.0s] Thea, you're pulling Yenbul on your turn.
[1660.0s] Talgear, you're maybe on top of Rax, at least very well beside.
[1665.0s] But you all make the decision to move towards, open the forest door and step through.
[1671.0s] You step out into this forest, hit a hot wave of humid air and you step out
[1675.0s] into it and you're like tangled up in.
[1677.0s] You close the door behind you and you hear the undead on the other side coming
[1681.0s] towards the door.
[1685.0s] You turn and you look out into this forest and then back to the door and the
[1689.0s] door is gone.
[1690.0s] I was just going to ask.
[1692.0s] And before you is a path where the door used to be, leading through this
[1697.0s] thick, dense brush.
[1700.0s] Welcome to the middle.
[1708.0s] We are really back.
[1710.0s] It's September now and we've got episodes out wazoo for you too.
[1717.0s] I'm OK.
[1718.0s] There's nobody here to stop me.
[1719.0s] I think that's the problem.
[1721.0s] Except Loki.
[1722.0s] He's barking in the background.
[1724.0s] If you can hear him there.
[1725.0s] Yeah, just me here today for you.
[1727.0s] Everybody else still on vacation.
[1729.0s] Thought I'd give them another little week there to rest and recuperate to get
[1733.0s] back.
[1734.0s] Get back to all of the great stuff that we've got coming up for you like
[1739.0s] this episode.
[1740.0s] Hope you're enjoying it.
[1741.0s] We really enjoyed putting it together.
[1743.0s] Don't have a huge amount for you just to say that we missed you.
[1748.0s] We love you and that we hope that you are excited for the story that's to
[1753.0s] come.
[1754.0s] We've got big events coming.
[1755.0s] We've got some some major moments, at least they were for the players.
[1762.0s] So get excited about those big crossovers coming and some super fun things we're
[1768.0s] going to be doing over on Patreon.
[1769.0s] I'll save that until everybody's back next week.
[1772.0s] But we're working towards some pretty big goals and some pretty big
[1776.0s] milestones.
[1777.0s] And we're so happy to have you along for the ride to experience it all
[1782.0s] right here with us.
[1784.0s] Anyways, I'm going to sing you out now.
[1786.0s] This is the end of the middle and that's when I will stop.
[1795.0s] I stop breathing heavily and I rifle through my bag and pull a potion of
[1807.0s] what is that of superior healing a potion of healing a superior whatever.
[1813.0s] And I will heal for 4d 4 plus 8, which is 32 because, you know, who knows
[1825.0s] what the fuck we're going to be dealing with here.
[1828.0s] Yeah, I guess obviously we're out of initiative.
[1831.0s] I assume I can also just take a potion and heal myself a little bit.
[1836.0s] That sounds great.
[1838.0s] I got hurt real bad, you guys.
[1841.0s] Huh.
[1842.0s] All right.
[1843.0s] Well, that was that was fucked up.
[1845.0s] But we do we know if this place is even real?
[1850.0s] This is a good question.
[1852.0s] It is hard to trust your own eyes and senses now.
[1855.0s] How does one truly know one knows anything kind of feels real.
[1859.0s] But yeah, so did that last super fun meadow we were trawling through.
[1863.0s] So is that sarcasm?
[1865.0s] It wasn't a super fun meadow.
[1867.0s] No, it really was.
[1868.0s] It was.
[1869.0s] It was a beautiful meadow.
[1870.0s] I'm sorry.
[1871.0s] You missed it.
[1872.0s] Yeah, I've got.
[1873.0s] There was a small Sader and he is wearing a jean vest and it had a rainbow and the
[1880.0s] unicorn and he would have loved it.
[1883.0s] God.
[1884.0s] All right.
[1885.0s] Well, I mean, we're here.
[1888.0s] We got to look for some gods.
[1891.0s] Got to get out of this forest.
[1893.0s] I guess we just follow the path.
[1895.0s] I was going to say fly over top the trees to see where we are.
[1899.0s] If we're in the middle of a dense forest that could go on forever.
[1904.0s] Maybe we may want to take a faster mode of transportation.
[1908.0s] OK, I'm going to fly up.
[1910.0s] See what I can see.
[1911.0s] Yeah.
[1912.0s] Probably just forest because I think it's like a forest planet like that one in
[1915.0s] Star Wars somehow that's just a forest.
[1918.0s] Yeah, that one.
[1919.0s] They've got to have a jail somewhere.
[1921.0s] I'm imagining just like a little county prison.
[1924.0s] Sure.
[1925.0s] In one cell.
[1927.0s] There are so many gods just jammed in there.
[1931.0s] You push through the canopy and out into the clear sky.
[1937.0s] There are two sweltering hot suns.
[1942.0s] This area that you're in, you see far off in the distance, like there's
[1946.0s] desert dunes that kind of meet up with one side of this forest.
[1950.0s] And then you look to the other side and you see just a clearing.
[1954.0s] Probably from the distance, you can judge to be like a 200 to 300 foot
[1958.0s] clearing in the middle of this forest that looks to be in a similar
[1962.0s] direction as the path that you're walking or were presented as you
[1967.0s] step through this door.
[1968.0s] If you were going to say that it was like a field of wheat, I was
[1971.0s] going to assume we were playing Settlers of Catan.
[1974.0s] That's right.
[1975.0s] And we have to get some wood and wheat and trade it for some sheep.
[1978.0s] Build the longest road and we're good.
[1980.0s] But are we on the longest road?
[1982.0s] Can she tell like how far that journey is going to take to that clearing?
[1986.0s] You can't see the path through the canopy.
[1988.0s] Ah, I can't see the forest for the trees.
[1990.0s] Janbel's going to kind of just take a moment to soak up that hot,
[1996.0s] hot sun because she is from a very hot place and has been in a lot of
[2000.0s] cold, terrible places for what feels like an eternity.
[2004.0s] So just wants to feel that heat soaking into her bones and then
[2011.0s] comes back down.
[2012.0s] There is a desert in that direction far away, but not too far a clearing.
[2021.0s] I think we can follow the path there.
[2024.0s] OK.
[2025.0s] Yeah.
[2026.0s] That's our best bet.
[2027.0s] I mean, they're not going to hide a bunch of gods in the middle of
[2032.0s] the woods.
[2033.0s] Sounds exactly like something they do.
[2035.0s] I mean, we have nowhere else to go, right?
[2038.0s] Yes, we don't know.
[2039.0s] So perhaps V takes the path, but be careful, aware, listen.
[2047.0s] You all collectively walk down the path.
[2052.0s] You are traveling for a couple hours before you come to this clearing.
[2059.0s] While we're walking, could I cast bark skin on myself?
[2065.0s] That's fine.
[2067.0s] Just give myself a little hug and I cast bark skin.
[2070.0s] As you cast it, you see the tree beside you begin to shrivel.
[2077.0s] Guys, magic destroys this place.
[2080.0s] Well, now if you know.
[2082.0s] That was me.
[2083.0s] I'm so sorry.
[2087.0s] You get to this clearing and in the center of this clearing is a rather
[2092.0s] large structure.
[2095.0s] It is stone, primarily wood, kind of holding it up.
[2102.0s] You OK?
[2103.0s] Amy just read something and had a visceral reaction to it.
[2107.0s] Bark skin gives you a specific AC.
[2109.0s] Bark skin just says you can't go below 16 AC.
[2112.0s] And I'm like, I already have 17 AC.
[2114.0s] I take the bark skin off because it's ugly.
[2118.0s] Doesn't go with my outfit.
[2120.0s] That was a good use of magic.
[2122.0s] Right?
[2123.0s] I feel really shitty about it now.
[2126.0s] I thought for sure it was going to be plus one AC.
[2129.0s] Part of our theory on going to these places was to go and see if magic was draining it or not.
[2136.0s] I guess so.
[2138.0s] You did something.
[2139.0s] Does that mean the gods aren't here?
[2142.0s] Let me describe to you what you see.
[2144.0s] They could be imprisoned here.
[2146.0s] They just don't have power here.
[2148.0s] You see a singular structure.
[2150.0s] There's no visible door that you see as you walk out into this.
[2155.0s] As you kind of walk around, you see that there is an entrance on the opposite side.
[2159.0s] And there's wood columns and beams.
[2163.0s] And as you get closer and examine them, there are bones etched and carved into all of these beams.
[2172.0s] And even into the stone all around them, you see very clearly symbols of orcas.
[2179.0s] There is a large bone-riddled door that is the entrance to this structure.
[2196.0s] In a way, this is a good thing.
[2199.0s] It's at least something to work off of.
[2202.0s] Perhaps we are on the right path.
[2204.0s] As terrifying as it is.
[2206.0s] We did want to find this.
[2208.0s] It just is awful now that we are here.
[2212.0s] Okay.
[2214.0s] So?
[2216.0s] I'm looking to see.
[2218.0s] I thought I had a detect creepos spell, but that's a different character.
[2225.0s] Or I'll find it in three episodes.
[2229.0s] I do have detect creepos.
[2231.0s] That is the thing I have.
[2233.0s] I guess I'll use my divine sense again and detect creepos.
[2237.0s] Okay.
[2238.0s] Celestial fiend undead within 60 feet, Russ.
[2241.0s] You don't get a sense of any of those.
[2246.0s] Shall we proceed?
[2248.0s] I mean, I don't think anything is lurking around the corner for us, so sure.
[2253.0s] Yes.
[2254.0s] I think we must.
[2255.0s] I'll open a door.
[2257.0s] You step up and you open the large door and it opens easier than you thought it would
[2263.0s] and bangs open and echoes down this stairwell that goes down into a lower chamber.
[2271.0s] And is there any creatures around?
[2273.0s] Just more creepy orcas carvings?
[2276.0s] Just more creepy orcas carvings.
[2278.0s] There are braziers along the walls.
[2283.0s] Set up in the handle of them are spinal columns.
[2289.0s] Of course.
[2291.0s] Oh, very cool.
[2293.0s] Flames lit up through skulls.
[2296.0s] Well, at least they provide lighting.
[2298.0s] That's true.
[2299.0s] And I mean, the decor is on theme.
[2301.0s] There's Art Deco and Art Necro.
[2304.0s] We got a design choice here.
[2308.0s] Tia.
[2311.0s] Watch for our home decor selection.
[2316.0s] Dungeon designers.
[2318.0s] Too many spines lying around your house.
[2320.0s] We've got solutions for you.
[2322.0s] It'll be in T public soon.
[2324.0s] That's amazing.
[2325.0s] All right.
[2326.0s] I'll start heading down.
[2327.0s] Yeah, let's do it.
[2328.0s] How's Rax do with stairs?
[2330.0s] I mean, he does well with bridges.
[2331.0s] How does he do?
[2332.0s] I mean, he's okay.
[2333.0s] He doesn't love them.
[2335.0s] Horses can do stairs.
[2337.0s] He can manage.
[2338.0s] It's cows that can't do stairs.
[2340.0s] Cows can't do stairs.
[2341.0s] Fair enough.
[2342.0s] Just in case you didn't know this, listeners, cows can't go downstairs.
[2346.0s] I didn't know that.
[2347.0s] They can go upstairs.
[2348.0s] They cannot go downstairs.
[2350.0s] Or can they go downstairs, but just very quickly?
[2354.0s] Well, okay.
[2355.0s] I guess it depends on.
[2357.0s] Anyway, back to it.
[2359.0s] You head down these stairs and you get to the bottom of them.
[2363.0s] It's 60 to 70 steps down.
[2366.0s] There's a long hallway with a singular door down at the end with this cracked open and this almost golden light coming in from behind it.
[2378.0s] Anyone else think when you're looking for a god, that's a good sign?
[2383.0s] Yes, but I trust nothing anymore.
[2387.0s] Well, we're here now.
[2389.0s] So I'm going to make sure I have my weapon out.
[2392.0s] Yeah.
[2393.0s] Shields up.
[2394.0s] I mean, I probably have this this whole time, but like, cautious.
[2397.0s] Very cautious.
[2399.0s] You head down the hallway and you make it to the door and you slowly press the door open.
[2405.0s] Yes.
[2407.0s] You look in and you see inside.
[2411.0s] There are seven figures inside seven cells.
[2417.0s] The cells themselves are constructed with what looks like like melded together.
[2425.0s] Skeletal figures.
[2427.0s] Cool.
[2428.0s] You see an old man with bird cages hung up around in his cell.
[2436.0s] You see a large orc who's like throwing himself at the walls constantly.
[2447.0s] You see a slender woman seated almost peacefully in the back of one of these cells.
[2457.0s] And you see a man with long shaggy hair and almost like overalls.
[2465.0s] Tattered, collared shirt.
[2469.0s] And in the other three cells, there are fiends, two of which contain fiends throwing themselves against the wall.
[2478.0s] One has a deceased fiend.
[2482.0s] His head looks like it was smashed in.
[2485.0s] Blood across the floor.
[2488.0s] In front of all of these cells, you see runes on the floor.
[2492.0s] We have to step on them to the right beat of the music.
[2495.0s] Dance Dance Revolution style.
[2497.0s] This is going to be great.
[2498.0s] Amazing.
[2499.0s] The man with the long shaggy hair and overalls looks up to you as you enter.
[2507.0s] The others don't seem to acknowledge you as you enter the room.
[2512.0s] Can I make some kind of like religion check?
[2516.0s] Do they seem like gods?
[2518.0s] Do I recognize any of these figures?
[2520.0s] Everybody make a history or religion.
[2523.0s] The runes all look the same in front of all of them.
[2525.0s] 27.
[2526.0s] History.
[2527.0s] Also 27.
[2528.0s] Religion.
[2529.0s] 14.
[2530.0s] 22 history.
[2534.0s] You don't recognize the man in the overalls, I don't think.
[2541.0s] You get a distinct, like the description you've heard of Bahamut as a humanoid figure is eerily similar to the old man and the canaries that he has in his bird cages.
[2558.0s] Right.
[2559.0s] The orc god before you would fit the description of Grunsch.
[2567.0s] The chaotic evil god of storms and war.
[2570.0s] Bahamut, the god of justice and nobility.
[2573.0s] The tranquil or peaceful woman.
[2577.0s] Thea, you specifically get a distinct sense that this could be Milike, goddess of forests.
[2586.0s] But the only one that acknowledges you is the one you don't recognize.
[2591.0s] What are you doing here?
[2597.0s] This is going to sound lame.
[2599.0s] Saving you guys?
[2601.0s] We were coming to rescue you and bring magic back to the world.
[2605.0s] Oh, delightful.
[2606.0s] Excellent.
[2607.0s] Do me first.
[2608.0s] Do me first.
[2611.0s] And you are?
[2613.0s] Oh, one of the things you're looking for, of course.
[2616.0s] Just come help.
[2618.0s] What are we looking for?
[2620.0s] Well, gods, of course.
[2621.0s] You just said it.
[2622.0s] Okay.
[2623.0s] Who are you?
[2624.0s] One of them.
[2626.0s] What's your name?
[2628.0s] Sorry, that sounded really, but I mean, there's a power dynamic that's going on here.
[2632.0s] You got to play the game, yep.
[2634.0s] Fun, you should ask my name.
[2636.0s] Which one should I give you?
[2638.0s] Oh, god.
[2640.0s] Cyric.
[2641.0s] That's the one.
[2642.0s] Do I know a Cyric?
[2643.0s] Yeah, is that anything?
[2645.0s] Now with Cyric, at least giving you that name, you know that Cyric, with the 20 pluses, is the god of lies.
[2655.0s] Sounds familiar.
[2657.0s] Didn't you recognize me in my fine janitor outfit?
[2660.0s] Just a janitor over here.
[2664.0s] That's what I thought.
[2667.0s] Little inside baseball Kristen from her other game.
[2670.0s] Yeah.
[2671.0s] If you want to understand why this is funny, please join us on Patreon.
[2674.0s] Go way back.
[2676.0s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast and learn about the janitor.
[2681.0s] One of the best characters ever created.
[2685.0s] Okay, god of lies.
[2687.0s] I mean, hold on.
[2688.0s] Any gods find, right?
[2690.0s] Like at this point, we're not going to be picky.
[2692.0s] We're not just going to take the good ones, bAlydince in the worlds and whatnot.
[2697.0s] Yes.
[2698.0s] I think we need all the gods back for the world to return to normal.
[2703.0s] Right.
[2704.0s] Well, I'm putting the cart way before the horse.
[2706.0s] Sorry, Rex.
[2707.0s] But how do we get these guys out of here?
[2710.0s] Oh, he wants to get me out.
[2712.0s] Oh, excellent.
[2713.0s] I'm glad you've come around to my way of thinking.
[2716.0s] Basically, it's a tradesies.
[2719.0s] It's a tradesies.
[2720.0s] Yes.
[2721.0s] You must do a little tradesies and take my place and then I'm free.
[2730.0s] Okay, could we take the place of another god that probably won't fuck us over?
[2735.0s] I mean, geez, they hear your name one time and they automatically make judgments about you.
[2739.0s] Well, it's all we've listened.
[2743.0s] We've literally been through hell.
[2744.0s] Interesting, because, yeah, I did not expect to see mortals here.
[2747.0s] So you must have been through quite a bit.
[2749.0s] Very excited.
[2750.0s] Did I mention I'm excited to see everyone?
[2752.0s] Very excited to see everyone.
[2754.0s] Why do the others not speak?
[2756.0s] Well, they've been here longer than me.
[2758.0s] I'm going to go knock on Bahamut's cell.
[2762.0s] The old man, he naps through everything.
[2765.0s] You go knock on the cell wall and it like glow that comes out when you touch the bars.
[2773.0s] And he stirs a little bit beyond it, but doesn't like there's a blankness behind his eyes.
[2780.0s] He doesn't look like he acknowledges you and what you're doing.
[2786.0s] I want to go up to Milike and get eye level with her.
[2791.0s] Ooh, while you're over with her, check out her necklace.
[2794.0s] It's very similar to mine.
[2796.0s] Do you guys make each other friendship necklaces?
[2799.0s] No, the man in charge made them for us.
[2804.0s] The man in charge?
[2806.0s] Well, yes, Orcus.
[2807.0s] You're familiar, no?
[2809.0s] Oh, well, yeah.
[2810.0s] You saw all the Orcus stuff on the way in.
[2812.0s] He's very much the one in charge.
[2814.0s] Fair enough.
[2815.0s] These necklaces, they control you?
[2818.0s] Yeah, we have no powers when we're wearing them, yes.
[2823.0s] Okay, and how do we open these cells?
[2827.0s] Oh, I explained that to you already.
[2829.0s] You need to trade me places.
[2831.0s] See the runes in front of everyone?
[2833.0s] You just go stand on them and then you're in.
[2838.0s] Huh.
[2839.0s] See the empty ones that they're bouncing in and out of?
[2845.0s] Yes.
[2846.0s] See where they're standing before they appear in the...
[2849.0s] See, it's all connected.
[2851.0s] You stand on the rune, you switch places.
[2854.0s] So maybe someone comes here and does that here now?
[2857.0s] Where are those gods?
[2859.0s] I don't know.
[2861.0s] When they leave here, when they're taken, they never come back.
[2866.0s] Who takes them?
[2868.0s] The big man.
[2870.0s] The O-Dog.
[2872.0s] You know Mazorcus.
[2874.0s] Okay, so we could release...
[2879.0s] Me, yes me.
[2880.0s] All the gods here.
[2882.0s] All the gods here.
[2883.0s] Me first.
[2885.0s] But we would all be trapped inside of these cages.
[2889.0s] Well, not only that.
[2891.0s] So great plan so far, except for the being trapped part.
[2895.0s] Someone else needs to take these off of us.
[2898.0s] We can't take them off.
[2901.0s] We can't take anyone else's off because they fuck with our heads.
[2906.0s] We can't do it.
[2908.0s] Okay, so we could release everyone and take everybody's off but yours.
[2915.0s] Well, they're going to need some time.
[2917.0s] I'm really your best bet for making this happen.
[2921.0s] Making what happen?
[2923.0s] Okay, gods, bringing it all back.
[2925.0s] Bring it all back to you.
[2927.0s] Don't stop.
[2928.0s] Never give up.
[2929.0s] Hold your head high.
[2930.0s] Reach the top.
[2931.0s] Come on!
[2932.0s] I am under the impression, no offense, that you are not powerful enough to supply
[2938.0s] the entire cosmos with magic.
[2940.0s] Oh no, I'd be snuffed out in a minute if I tried to do that.
[2944.0s] Are you crazy?
[2946.0s] It's like talking to a wall, Yenbul.
[2948.0s] But what we need to do is there's multiple prisons like this one kicking around all
[2954.0s] over the place.
[2955.0s] Not sure where.
[2956.0s] Only know about this one for me.
[2958.0s] But there's multiples.
[2960.0s] There's all the gods imprisoned all over the realm.
[2964.0s] So we need to send teams to get them free, which is what you guys are doing here
[2969.0s] and I love it.
[2970.0s] You're doing great.
[2971.0s] But maybe we swap out now?
[2973.0s] I have an idea.
[2974.0s] Yes, please.
[2975.0s] Please.
[2976.0s] I want to cast Conjure Animals and I want to cast it so that I have eight beasts in
[2990.0s] front of me.
[2992.0s] It's going to be eight ducks.
[2996.0s] Love it.
[2997.0s] Love where this is going.
[3000.0s] And they listen to me and they're friendly and they're my companions.
[3004.0s] Will it be one horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses?
[3009.0s] And I pick up a duck and I go over to Bahamut's cell and I place the duck on the rune.
[3022.0s] Nothing happened.
[3024.0s] It was a good try, but I stack two ducks on top of each other.
[3029.0s] Maybe you just want to come over here and just come on my rune.
[3032.0s] Hold on.
[3033.0s] Great thing.
[3034.0s] We can get this going.
[3035.0s] I stacked three ducks on top of one another.
[3037.0s] Nothing happened.
[3039.0s] Four ducks stacked.
[3042.0s] Do they have to be sentient creatures?
[3044.0s] You stack all the ducks.
[3046.0s] Nothing happened.
[3047.0s] Ah, fuck.
[3048.0s] Are the ruins carved?
[3050.0s] Yes.
[3051.0s] Oh, Jesus.
[3052.0s] Ducks were not good enough.
[3054.0s] No, no they weren't.
[3056.0s] That was Amy saying that because I just saw they were challenging.
[3062.0s] Challenge rating of a quarter is like an axe beak, a boar, a draft horse.
[3070.0s] Why don't you make me choose?
[3073.0s] Just anything Amy.
[3074.0s] Come on.
[3075.0s] The ducks turn into boars.
[3077.0s] She stacks eight boars.
[3078.0s] I want them to turn into panthers.
[3082.0s] Now you have eight panthers.
[3083.0s] Yes.
[3084.0s] Okay, good.
[3085.0s] Stacked up.
[3086.0s] Now are they stacked vertically or horizontally?
[3088.0s] It's kind of like when you stack chairs.
[3093.0s] Their legs go on top of one another, so it's not really...
[3096.0s] Anyway.
[3097.0s] Well, now we at least have panthers.
[3099.0s] If no shit goes down here, we got eight panthers.
[3102.0s] Fuck you, Sirik.
[3104.0s] I don't want to take your place.
[3106.0s] I've already told you.
[3107.0s] I told you what needs to happen.
[3108.0s] Make it happen.
[3109.0s] I'm tired of being in here.
[3111.0s] Are there minions or somebody around here?
[3114.0s] Listen, last time we did a tradesies for anything.
[3117.0s] You can see them out there swapping places.
[3120.0s] So I guess you could try getting one of them, but just let me out.
[3127.0s] What's so hard to understand about this?
[3130.0s] Because one of us goes in.
[3132.0s] And I care about us more than I care about you.
[3135.0s] Where do we see them swapping in?
[3138.0s] Sorry, I didn't understand what you mean by that.
[3140.0s] At the other cells with the roots in front of them that are empty.
[3145.0s] The fiends.
[3146.0s] Yeah, the fiends are like zipping in and out.
[3149.0s] I don't think they're zipping in and out.
[3151.0s] No, I thought they were trapped inside.
[3153.0s] Somebody zipped in.
[3156.0s] Because they're zipping in and out.
[3157.0s] Let's just grab one of those.
[3158.0s] Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
[3160.0s] They're zipping in and out now.
[3161.0s] Oh shit, these ones are broken.
[3163.0s] I've been talking a lot.
[3165.0s] Somebody else get in here because I have now eight panthers in the room.
[3169.0s] That would mean that there is one loose fiend.
[3173.0s] Yeah, trading places.
[3175.0s] They're taking turns.
[3177.0s] Oh yeah, they're just having fun.
[3179.0s] Grab it.
[3180.0s] Who's got their big butterfly net?
[3182.0s] I'm going to try and grab the fiend when it comes out.
[3185.0s] Alright, fiend pops out of one of them.
[3188.0s] Make a dex check, an athletics check.
[3194.0s] 14.
[3195.0s] You now have a fiend in your possession.
[3200.0s] It's like thrashing at you trying to scratch at your face.
[3203.0s] Nope, nope.
[3206.0s] Put it on the little rune thing.
[3208.0s] Whose rune thing are you putting it on?
[3210.0s] I'll put it on Sirik's, yeah, sure.
[3213.0s] Oh, excellent.
[3215.0s] The second it hits, Sirik is now on the runes at your hands and you're holding on to his legs.
[3225.0s] It's fine.
[3226.0s] Did I not mention that part?
[3228.0s] Whatever you're doing, that's kind of what...
[3231.0s] You get it now.
[3232.0s] You see Sirik quickly sidestep off of the runes in front.
[3237.0s] So now we need to remove the amulet?
[3239.0s] Yeah, there's a little latch at the back.
[3242.0s] Hold on, what's the plan here?
[3244.0s] Can I try and push Sirik onto Bahamut's runes?
[3250.0s] Sirik thinks you're going to undo the necklace.
[3253.0s] Sure.
[3254.0s] He is not expecting it.
[3260.0s] What is it, athletics?
[3261.0s] Yeah, I mean, probably an athletics strength contest.
[3266.0s] You would have advantage because he's not expecting you to put him into a different cell.
[3273.0s] Sike, it's good.
[3275.0s] I mean, he's a god.
[3276.0s] It's probably not going to work, but who knows?
[3278.0s] Yeah, it's fine.
[3279.0s] Well, not with that roll, it's not.
[3284.0s] What's Sirik's strength bonus, Ross?
[3286.0s] I mean, powers dampened.
[3289.0s] That's true.
[3290.0s] That's true.
[3291.0s] You got that necklace eyes.
[3292.0s] Probably only a plus two.
[3295.0s] He's not going over the top here.
[3297.0s] That was a six for him.
[3298.0s] Nineteen.
[3300.0s] Wowza.
[3301.0s] So, describe Petit Yenble and this move that happens.
[3307.0s] Yenble goes behind Sirik as if to undo it in a romantic way.
[3313.0s] You know, you put a necklace on in a romantic way, so to take it off that way, undo the clasp.
[3318.0s] And then just like plants herself and pushes as hard as she can towards Bahamut's, the
[3335.0s] ruins in front of Bahamut's cell, so just planted and just like everything she's got
[3340.0s] because, I mean, the god of lies is going to be pretty mad if this doesn't work.
[3345.0s] That's a strong success.
[3347.0s] So, yeah, he flies across the room.
[3350.0s] Give me a fly across the room sound there.
[3354.0s] Clerics!
[3357.0s] And lands on the ruins in front of Bahamut's cell.
[3361.0s] As swift as he landed, Bahamut is now in his place.
[3367.0s] Come on, guys.
[3371.0s] I told you they need a little rest, recovery.
[3374.0s] If I'm the closest one, then I'll try and take the necklace off Bahamut for real.
[3380.0s] Not just keep doing pranks with the gods in and out of the cell.
[3384.0s] Musical gods!
[3385.0s] You help him off of the ruins and take the necklace off and there is this, like a
[3392.0s] switch goes off.
[3394.0s] He still has this tired look about him, but he looks around and you see him look
[3400.0s] up to you, all of you, and you see him look up into his cell where Sirik now stands
[3408.0s] and you see that his birdcages are still up in his cell.
[3412.0s] He takes a big sigh and looks to you and says, thank you.
[3422.0s] No, no problem with that.
[3424.0s] All my, all my doing.
[3425.0s] With a lot of exhaustion, he kind of beckons you all in.
[3434.0s] And you hear this deafening roar coming from down the hallway and up the stairs.
[3442.0s] It's like vibrating and small pebbles and dust are falling from the ceiling.
[3448.0s] With you all huddled close, we see him blink.
[3455.0s] As you're all teleported out of the prison.
[3463.0s] Dumbgeons AND DRAGONS SEASON 2 EPISODE 94
[3467.0s] Starring Amy More as Thea Amastasia, Carla Maxted as Yen Bolnuri,
[3471.0s] Tom Laird as Tulkier Heavyfoot,
[3473.0s] with guest Kristen Flemmons as a goth god Las Catho Olavi,
[3477.0s] and Russ More as your dungeon master.
[3479.0s] Editing, production, and sound design by Russ More.
[3482.0s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound,
[3484.0s] and sound effects from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.
[3488.0s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers.
[3490.0s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok, Cat Waterflame, Stevie, Jacob Madden,
[3495.0s] Devin Michaels, Christian Brown, Aaron Stevens, Lula Han, and Charlie Warley.
[3499.0s] To support Dumbgeons AND DRAGONS and our many other productions,
[3502.0s] and get access to an exclusive podcast called The Adventures Of,
[3505.0s] bonus episodes, and much more, please join our Patreon at Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
[3511.0s] Where when we reach 100 patrons, we'll release an exclusive,
[3514.0s] Grancis and Flamekin's bonus episode, Escaping the Abyss.
[3518.0s] You can also follow us at facebook.com slash dumbdragon podcast,
[3522.0s] and on Instagram and Twitter, at dumbdragoncast.
[3525.0s] Thank you for listening. Have a great week, we'll talk again soon.
[3530.0s] Oh, hold on you guys, and I...
[3535.0s] Riffle through my bag?
[3537.0s] Rifle?
[3539.0s] Thank you!
[3540.0s] It's riffle.
[3541.0s] Yeah, isn't it?
[3542.0s] Oh, we had to look it up.
[3544.0s] Rifle's what you'd use more conventionally, I believe.
[3547.0s] But riffle's fun too.
[3548.0s] Yeah, see I like riffle.
[3549.0s] I didn't know he was a riffle man, I'm a riffle girl.
[3551.0s] It took me a minute to even figure out like what you were talking about.
[3554.0s] Thank you, we were re... anyway.
[3556.0s] It's always been like you riffle through a book.
[3558.0s] No, you riffle through something.
[3560.0s] No, you don't.
[3562.0s] Thank you, I feel really seen right now.
[3564.0s] Look, the internet tells me I'm right.
[3566.0s] If you were to riffle through it, I'm pretty sure it would be spelled differently.
[3570.0s] It is spelled differently, riffled is a very different word.
[3573.0s] No, it's not.
[3574.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.