1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,560 previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons. 2 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:09,679 Now, Carceri is a model for all other prisons in existence. 3 00:00:09,679 --> 00:00:12,960 I mean, I feel like that's probably the one we're gonna need to go to. 4 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:15,919 Give it a shot. Probably can't even use magic, so... 5 00:00:15,919 --> 00:00:19,359 You can use magic. Use it wisely. 6 00:00:19,359 --> 00:00:22,000 Yeah, one of us could probably die. 7 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:28,320 Two wizards along the side step up with books in their hand and begin casting a spell. 8 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,320 Oh, looks like it's lots of magic words, guys. 9 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:37,600 You all begin to spin in place and you're diving, but you begin to lose consciousness. 10 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,159 You begin to black out and you're fading in and out. 11 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:50,560 You find yourselves waking up, an unknown time later, on dusty, gravelly path. 12 00:00:50,560 --> 00:01:00,560 You hear, like, a droning, howling wind and thunder rolling across the sky. 13 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:10,560 And you look up and the shadows that you see before you are black and you see movement within them. 14 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:14,560 Beyond, there's this crack of lightning and this enormous tower. 15 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:24,560 Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your dungeon master, Russ More. He-him. 16 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,560 Also with me today is Karla Maxted. 17 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:30,560 She-her. Tonight I'm playing Yen Bol Nyori. Also She-her. 18 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,560 And Amy More. 19 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:36,560 She-her. I play Thea Amastasia. Also She-her. 20 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,560 Also Tom Laird. 21 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:42,560 He-him. And I'm playing Telgir, who also goes by He-him. 22 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:48,560 And because we just won't kill off our characters, back again, Kristen Flemmons! 23 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,560 Just kill me already! 24 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,560 We'll never let her leave! 25 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:58,560 Kristen Flemmons, She-her, I'm playing Agath, Godlost, Catho Olavi, and I think I said it right this time. 26 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:00,560 Nailed it! 27 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:04,560 Yeah, that was good. Right, now we're in a weird place, and it's gonna be good. 28 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:12,560 And where lots of weird places that are good is over at Patreon.com. It's just one place. 29 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:18,560 And it's just good. I mean, weird I guess in a way, but just in all the positive connotations. 30 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,560 Exactly, that's what I said. 31 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,560 Like in a keep Portland weird kind of way. 32 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:24,560 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 33 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:29,560 You know what I meant, yeah. When you are a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you like today's patron, Phoebe! 34 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,560 Thanks, Phoebe! 35 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:33,560 Thank you! 36 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:34,560 Thank you! 37 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,560 Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, and now fuck it, let's play! 38 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:51,560 You awake from a storm-ridden stupor, and you are in a dark, twisted place. 39 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:58,560 Everything around you that you can see is stone and jagged and sharp. 40 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:04,560 You see that castle or cathedral or... 41 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:13,560 built up into one of these mountains off in this range that has lightning and thunder rolling and cracking behind it. 42 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,560 Looks welcoming. 43 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,560 Where do you think we are? 44 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:20,560 What the hell just happened? 45 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,560 Have we traveled to a different plane? 46 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:26,560 It certainly doesn't feel like the astral plane anymore. 47 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:30,560 I move my body without thinking about direction, just to check. 48 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,560 You can move. 49 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:38,560 I want to know what moving your body without thinking of direction looks like. 50 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:40,560 It's a sight to behold. 51 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:46,560 A goth is running in like serpentine wheezing bobbing. 52 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,560 It's working, guys! 53 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:51,560 I'm not even thinking while I'm doing this! 54 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:53,560 Can you tell? 55 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:58,560 It's like a terrifying interpret of dance, slash martial arts. 56 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,560 I'm scared. 57 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:06,560 This is the episode, everybody just join a goth and doing what a goth is doing. 58 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:10,560 Moves without thinking about it off into the distance, and that's where we lose the character. 59 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,560 Maybe it'll summon the gods, you don't know. 60 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:13,560 Oh, that's true. 61 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:14,560 It could. 62 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:15,560 It's true, anything's possible. 63 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:16,560 The right foot movements. 64 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:21,560 Does what we see line up clearly with one of the places we were? 65 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:26,560 Because I feel like there are some key words that sound like the other planes you were telling us about, 66 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:32,560 but I'm not sure that there's an exactly one-to-one parallel. 67 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:33,560 No. 68 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:34,560 No. 69 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:35,560 Meat. 70 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,560 So, yeah. 71 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,560 Well, we're not underground. 72 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:47,560 So, yeah, Limbo was the plane of pure chaos, a roiling soup of impermanent matter and energy. 73 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,560 This kind of looks like a place. 74 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:50,560 It's not the Nine Hills. 75 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,560 It's like we can rule out Limbo. 76 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:56,560 Yeah, the tower seems sort of permanent, the mountain ranges. 77 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:57,560 Yeah. 78 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:03,560 Pandemonium was described as a plane of madness, great mass of rock riddled with tunnels carved by howling winds, 79 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:07,560 cold, noisy, and dark with no natural light. 80 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:08,560 Okay. 81 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:09,560 It's wind. 82 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,560 It's not noisy, though. 83 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:14,560 And we can see things, so therefore there's some sort of natural light. 84 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,560 Yes, there's got to be a natural light. 85 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:17,560 So not that one. 86 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:18,560 Okay. 87 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,560 And not the Nine Hills, so. 88 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:30,560 Everything, when I say shadow and dark, I say it's almost in like a monochromatic sense, like an inverted image. 89 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:32,560 Like a sepia tone or something like that. 90 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:37,560 Yeah, like, yeah, you're kind of greyscale more than anything, but yeah. 91 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:38,560 Where else were we? 92 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:43,560 Carcery was the prison world. 93 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:48,560 Carcery was a plane of desolation and despair. 94 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:52,560 There is, you don't feel great about the place that you're in. 95 00:05:52,560 --> 00:06:00,560 Holds layers of vast bogs, fetid jungles, windswept deserts, jagged mountains, frigid oceans, and black ice. 96 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:01,560 So again. 97 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,560 A range of terrain. 98 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:04,560 Possible similarities. 99 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:05,560 That one's pretty diverse. 100 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:06,560 Yeah. 101 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:10,560 And then a furnace, which you were told you wouldn't be able to reach. 102 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:11,560 We were told. 103 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:13,560 People say all sorts of things. 104 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:18,560 We were looking for an olive pool, and yet here we are somewhere, having seen no pools. 105 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:19,560 Yeah, no pools. 106 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:24,560 Started breathing water, woke up in an unfamiliar place. 107 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:29,560 Well, we didn't take any damage. 108 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:34,560 Nope, you haven't recovered anything, but you haven't taken anything extra. 109 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,560 Okay. 110 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:37,560 Um, Donnie, okay? 111 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:40,560 Where are we? 112 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,560 TBD. 113 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,560 I went there on a Friday once. 114 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:47,560 That's TGI. 115 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:50,560 Oh, right. 116 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:53,560 Sorry, flashbacks to the before times when things were good. 117 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,560 Yes, I have those too. 118 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:58,560 This doesn't look great, eh? 119 00:06:58,560 --> 00:06:59,560 Do we? 120 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:00,560 No. 121 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:01,560 Go to the castle? 122 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:05,560 I mean, my first instinct is to go to the castle. 123 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:06,560 I agree. 124 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:15,560 It seems like my instinct is always to seek out people or culture. 125 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:24,560 I don't know that we have that here, but the castle calls to me. 126 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:29,560 You've been walking and following this path along this jagged mountain cliffside, and 127 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:34,560 it gets wider and narrower at different points, and you've been walking for a little while, 128 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:37,560 and the castle's getting nearer to you. 129 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:44,560 You're winding around, and as you get closer, you see that there's this rope bridge 130 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:51,560 that separates the castle and up ahead the cliffside you're walking on. 131 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:57,560 Looks like it's hanging on by literal threads, and as you kind of notice this and are able 132 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:06,560 to see this coming into sight, you hear a tumbling of rocks coming from down the mountainside 133 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:08,560 behind you. 134 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:12,560 Like directly behind us, like dodge? 135 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:18,560 Not quite, but back a little ways, like 20 or 30 feet back, rocks begin to crumble 136 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:24,560 down and land on the path that you've been walking on, and then you hear a loud thud 137 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:33,559 from up above in the mountain, and you look up, and you see a giant, and when I say 138 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:35,559 giant, I mean gargantuan. 139 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:43,559 It's a 30-foot-tall skeletal figure that is wielding... 140 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:44,559 A banana. 141 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:45,559 That has... 142 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,559 A heart-shaped box of chocolates. 143 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:58,560 It has these giant jagged claws and sharp spiked shoulders and spines that run all 144 00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:06,560 the way down its body and with a giant step lands down onto this path and swings to 145 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:08,560 take a swipe at your group. 146 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:11,560 Everybody make a dexterity saving throw, please. 147 00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:13,560 Does this look similar to the one that we saw floating? 148 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:14,560 That's a good question. 149 00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:18,560 No, no, the other one looked like a cohesive unit. 150 00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:21,560 I picked this up before I looked at the number. 151 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:29,560 This one looks like a creature that has been constructed of many different skeletal 152 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:30,560 masses. 153 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:31,560 Oh, fuck this. 154 00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:32,560 Fuck this guy. 155 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:33,560 Fuck this guy. 156 00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:34,560 What? 157 00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:35,560 What? 158 00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:36,560 What? 159 00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:37,560 What? 160 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:38,560 What? 161 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:39,560 Prim's Bane, motherfucker! 162 00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:40,560 I rolled... 163 00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:41,560 It's a giant skeleton. 164 00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:42,560 It's not Prim's Bane. 165 00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:44,560 Orcus? 166 00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:46,560 You said Dex, right? 167 00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:47,560 Yeah. 168 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:48,560 22. 169 00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:49,560 Dex save? 170 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:50,560 Dex save. 171 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:51,560 Okay. 172 00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:52,560 18. 173 00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:53,560 19. 174 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,560 16. 175 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:55,560 Then do. 176 00:09:55,560 --> 00:10:03,560 This claw digs out the earth right before you as you all jump back and it begins 177 00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:06,560 climbing along the wall towards you. 178 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:08,560 Yeah, we'll roll for initiative. 179 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:09,560 Ew. 180 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:12,560 Give y'all a chance or otherwise I'd keep the other one. 181 00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:13,560 Oh. 182 00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:14,560 Ten. 183 00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:15,560 Ten. 184 00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:16,560 I used my one good roll on my dex save. 185 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:17,560 Which probably is a good thing. 186 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:18,560 Isn't that a good thing? 187 00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:19,560 Time to use it, yeah. 188 00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:20,560 You can have a roll. 189 00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:21,560 17. 190 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:22,560 I got a seven. 191 00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:23,560 19. 192 00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:26,560 That means Yenbul is up first. 193 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:27,560 Oh, no. 194 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,560 How far away is it? 195 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:35,560 Well, it just took a huge swipe at you and you just dodged, so it's right there. 196 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:36,560 It's right there. 197 00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:44,560 And it's like attached to the wall with its claws and like its spined toes and you see 198 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:52,560 it more clearly now and its entire face is bones to make up a skull and there's like 199 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:59,560 these huge horned ox heads that have been placed onto its shoulders and it's pretty 200 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:00,560 bad. 201 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:05,560 It's like it's wearing like bunny slippers, but they're ox heads. 202 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:06,560 Oh. 203 00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:07,560 Yeah. 204 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:08,560 He made it seem so much cuter. 205 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:09,560 Yeah. 206 00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:10,560 Kind of whimsical. 207 00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:17,560 Why don't I use my Mace of Terror and try and hit it. 208 00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:18,560 That sounds fun. 209 00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:19,560 Yeah. 210 00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:20,560 Why don't I do that? 211 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:21,560 Hit it. 212 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:22,560 25. 213 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,560 Are you maintaining position? 214 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,560 Are you flying up to it? 215 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,560 No, I forgot I could fly. 216 00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:30,560 God. 217 00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:33,560 Yenbul, you're so cool. 218 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:40,560 I mean, I feel like it's probably is very big and its claw is right in front of me, 219 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:45,560 so I'm probably just going to hit at the thing that's like the thing that is close 220 00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:46,560 to me. 221 00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:50,560 It needs to make a wisdom saving throw. 222 00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,560 I bet it's real dumb. 223 00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:54,560 I mean, a pile of bones all stitched together. 224 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:56,560 I'm hoping it's really dumb. 225 00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:57,560 16. 226 00:11:57,560 --> 00:11:58,560 Fuck. 227 00:11:58,560 --> 00:11:59,560 God damn it. 228 00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,560 Well, it's less dumb than I thought it was going to be. 229 00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:03,560 A little bit less dumb than I was. 230 00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:04,560 Just one. 231 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:08,560 Like if I had to enumerate it, one less dumb than I was hoping it would be. 232 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:09,560 Sorry. 233 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:11,560 Or one more dumb. 234 00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:12,560 Okay, great. 235 00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:17,560 Well, then I guess I'll just do this shitty damage. 236 00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:19,560 Four damage. 237 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:20,560 Four. 238 00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:21,560 Four damage. 239 00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:26,560 It was going to be really cool when it got scared of us guys and ran away, 240 00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:27,560 but it didn't happen. 241 00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:29,560 Maybe next time. 242 00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:33,560 I totally would have got scared. 243 00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,560 Okay, Talkier, you're up. 244 00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:42,560 Yeah, I guess take a big old swipe at the hand as well. 245 00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:46,560 First attack is going to be a 32 if I do my math correctly. 246 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:47,560 Oh my goodness. 247 00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:48,560 Whoa, Jesus. 248 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,560 Yeah, 32 on the first attack. 249 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:51,560 And still not a nat? 250 00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:53,560 No, that was 19. 251 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,560 Oh, jeez. 252 00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:58,560 And the next one will be a 19 to hit. 253 00:12:58,560 --> 00:12:59,560 So those will hit. 254 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:04,560 All right, well then it definitely seems like the 32 was overkill. 255 00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,560 It's just with feeling that time, yeah. 256 00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:07,560 Sure, yeah. 257 00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:09,560 All right, here we go. 258 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,560 27 all said and done. 259 00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:17,560 Bones splinter off of like two of the claws that you hit through there. 260 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:19,560 And that'll be it for Talkier. 261 00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:26,560 Its claw gets hit and two of the fingers break off and it moves back just a bit. 262 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:34,560 And you see the bones begin to move and reshape themselves into four separate creatures. 263 00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:36,560 A quarter of the size. 264 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,560 But now there are four of them. 265 00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:39,560 Oh no. 266 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:45,560 And they run towards each of you and try to hit you. 267 00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:49,560 So we'll go first, one running towards Yen Bull. 268 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:53,560 Jumping across the small chasm it has created. 269 00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:55,560 That's a natural 20. 270 00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:57,560 That will do it. 271 00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,560 20 thunder damage. 272 00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:00,560 Yikes. 273 00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:01,560 Talkier. 274 00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:02,560 No way. 275 00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:03,560 Sure. 276 00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:05,560 Are they within the... 277 00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:07,560 Yeah, you're all kind of on a cliff side. 278 00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:08,560 The shields. 279 00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:10,560 Can I try the warding mover again? 280 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:11,560 Try the shield. 281 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,560 I mean, it's a gnat, so... 282 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,560 Do you want to save it for somebody else? 283 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:18,560 Because I have a reaction as well that I could try. 284 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:19,560 Okay. 285 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:20,560 Yeah, the gnat maybe. 286 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,560 Save it for me, Chris. 287 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:26,560 This one's coming in hot, so maybe... 288 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:27,560 Alrighty. 289 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,560 They hit me? 290 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:30,560 Yes. 291 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,560 They need to make a dex saving throw. 292 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:33,560 Three. 293 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:34,560 Great. 294 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,560 Then they're going to take 2d8 damage. 295 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:37,560 But for why? 296 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,560 They're facing the wrath of my storm. 297 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,560 Oh. 298 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:44,560 Seven. 299 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,560 Rolls are hard, apparently. 300 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:50,560 Okay, Talkier, one's coming at you. 301 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,560 That's a 15 to hit. 302 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,560 No sale. 303 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,560 Thea, that's a gnat one, so... 304 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,560 Come on. 305 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,560 One gnat one. 306 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,560 Something terrible has to happen. 307 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,560 It trips. 308 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:10,560 The four of them are leaping across this chasm that it itself has created, 309 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:15,560 and it goes wide, and you see it hit and land on the other side, 310 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:18,560 and break apart on the path. 311 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:22,560 Some of the bones falling down into the chasm below. 312 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:27,560 A goth, the final one is going to try and hit you for 17. 313 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,560 It's not going to do it. 314 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,560 Okay, Thea, and then a goth. 315 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:36,560 I'm going to cast fairy fire on the big dude, because it seems like... 316 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,560 There are four smaller ones now. 317 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:39,560 Can I cast it on all of them? 318 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:40,560 Let me see. 319 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:46,560 I can cast a 20 foot cube in range. 320 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,560 Okay, within 20 feet of each other? 321 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,560 Yeah, you're all kind of clustered together. 322 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,560 Yeah, all right then. 323 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,560 No, no, not us, them. 324 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,560 They are all attacking you, so you're all kind of clustered together. 325 00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,560 Even the big one, is his hand still in the middle? 326 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:00,560 There is no more big one. 327 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:01,560 What? 328 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,560 The big one turned into four small ones. 329 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,560 Sorry, I misheard. 330 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:09,560 I thought it broke two fingers, and then those created... 331 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:13,560 No, it recoiled and then reshaped into four separate ones. 332 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,560 One of which has broken itself. 333 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:17,560 Okay, cool. 334 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:21,560 Did not check itself before it wrecked itself. 335 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:28,560 So, each object in the 20 foot cube is outlined in a violet light. 336 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:29,560 Can I get a dex save? 337 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,560 And you have to make a dexterity saving throw. 338 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:34,560 One, that's a six. 339 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,560 Two, that's a nat 20. 340 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,560 Three, that's a 12. 341 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,560 And four, that's a five. 342 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:42,560 I thought there were only three. 343 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:45,560 One broke apart, but it's still a thing. 344 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:46,560 Oh, it's still a thing. 345 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:48,560 Okay, well, they all fail except for one, 346 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:54,560 which means any attack roll against an affected creature has advantage. 347 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:56,560 If we're following my one, two, three, four, 348 00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:00,560 the one that is on you specifically is the one that's safe. 349 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:07,559 Well, then I'm just going to have to hit it with my scimitar. 350 00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:09,559 Oh, 16? 351 00:17:09,559 --> 00:17:10,559 Yes. 352 00:17:10,559 --> 00:17:11,559 Oh, yeah. 353 00:17:11,559 --> 00:17:12,559 Six damage. 354 00:17:12,559 --> 00:17:13,559 Yeah. 355 00:17:13,559 --> 00:17:14,559 Perfect. 356 00:17:14,559 --> 00:17:15,559 Agath, it is your turn. 357 00:17:15,559 --> 00:17:16,559 Use that Post-it notes. 358 00:17:16,559 --> 00:17:20,559 So, Faerie Fire, you get advantage on that. 359 00:17:20,559 --> 00:17:21,559 Nice. 360 00:17:21,559 --> 00:17:22,559 Love it. 361 00:17:22,559 --> 00:17:27,559 I think this may be the first time Faerie Fire has ever worked for me. 362 00:17:27,559 --> 00:17:28,559 All right. 363 00:17:28,559 --> 00:17:31,559 I am going to, you know, rotate through all my Post-it notes, 364 00:17:31,559 --> 00:17:32,559 but also all my weapons. 365 00:17:32,559 --> 00:17:36,559 I just noticed I have a cool sounding Revenant double-bladed scimitar. 366 00:17:36,559 --> 00:17:39,559 So, I'll use that now because... 367 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:40,559 Because why not? 368 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:41,559 Why wouldn't you? 369 00:17:41,559 --> 00:17:42,559 Look at that. 370 00:17:42,559 --> 00:17:44,559 That looks dope. 371 00:17:44,559 --> 00:17:46,559 And I will whack something with it. 372 00:17:46,559 --> 00:17:47,559 Excellent. 373 00:17:47,559 --> 00:17:49,559 Whoever is the shiniest and the closest. 374 00:17:49,559 --> 00:17:53,559 One right in front of you is a Blaze with Faerie Fire. 375 00:17:53,559 --> 00:17:55,559 Going down. 376 00:17:55,559 --> 00:17:56,559 Advantage. 377 00:17:56,559 --> 00:17:58,559 Yeah, first one. 378 00:17:58,559 --> 00:18:00,559 26. 379 00:18:00,559 --> 00:18:02,559 Yes. 380 00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:05,559 That'll be six damage on that one. 381 00:18:05,559 --> 00:18:08,559 That wasn't so hot, but 21. 382 00:18:08,559 --> 00:18:12,559 This one will be nine damage. 383 00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:13,559 Okay. 384 00:18:13,559 --> 00:18:15,559 And third strike. 385 00:18:15,559 --> 00:18:16,559 Oh, nat 20! 386 00:18:16,559 --> 00:18:17,559 Yay! 387 00:18:17,559 --> 00:18:19,559 There we go. 388 00:18:19,559 --> 00:18:22,559 One. 389 00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:24,559 That's stupid. 390 00:18:24,559 --> 00:18:26,559 Now, like, eight damage. 391 00:18:26,559 --> 00:18:29,559 Didn't roll all ones on the damage dice. 392 00:18:29,559 --> 00:18:31,559 Oh, no! 393 00:18:31,559 --> 00:18:35,559 Yeah, so first and second hit, like, carve through the bones, 394 00:18:35,559 --> 00:18:36,559 and they're splintering, 395 00:18:36,559 --> 00:18:38,559 and then the third, which would have been the one, 396 00:18:38,559 --> 00:18:39,559 but you hit in the same spot. 397 00:18:39,559 --> 00:18:41,559 It was just, you were too accurate. 398 00:18:41,559 --> 00:18:44,559 Yeah, there's just, like, a lot of space in skeletons, you know? 399 00:18:44,559 --> 00:18:47,559 So you can go right to the core and there's nothing there. 400 00:18:47,559 --> 00:18:49,559 Okay, cool. 401 00:18:49,559 --> 00:18:52,559 I don't feel like these guys are hefty enough 402 00:18:52,559 --> 00:18:54,559 to use a big Post-It note on, so. 403 00:18:54,559 --> 00:18:55,559 Okay. 404 00:18:55,559 --> 00:18:56,559 But I forgot last time. 405 00:18:56,559 --> 00:18:59,559 Does Rex also get to do things? 406 00:18:59,559 --> 00:19:00,559 Rex gets to go. 407 00:19:00,559 --> 00:19:01,559 Donnie would get to go after. 408 00:19:01,559 --> 00:19:03,559 Donnie, I don't know how much damage 409 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,559 Donnie Sting's going to do to the bones. 410 00:19:05,559 --> 00:19:08,559 I'll tell Donnie to come out when I think he can, you know, 411 00:19:08,559 --> 00:19:10,559 sting something that isn't just completely made of bone. 412 00:19:10,559 --> 00:19:11,559 Okay. 413 00:19:11,559 --> 00:19:14,559 Well, it just, like, hooves against bones. 414 00:19:14,559 --> 00:19:16,559 I feel like that's a good, that's a good option. 415 00:19:16,559 --> 00:19:17,559 Yeah, it's a solid crunch. 416 00:19:17,559 --> 00:19:18,559 Yeah, I think so. 417 00:19:18,559 --> 00:19:19,559 Just crunch. 418 00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:21,559 It works against humans. 419 00:19:21,559 --> 00:19:25,559 Crunch a skeleton, so. 420 00:19:25,559 --> 00:19:26,559 Does he also get advantage? 421 00:19:26,559 --> 00:19:27,559 Yeah. 422 00:19:27,559 --> 00:19:28,559 Okay. 423 00:19:28,559 --> 00:19:30,559 So that's 19. 424 00:19:30,559 --> 00:19:31,559 Yes. 425 00:19:31,559 --> 00:19:33,559 2d8 plus four, geez, buddy. 426 00:19:33,559 --> 00:19:34,559 Okay. 427 00:19:34,559 --> 00:19:35,559 Okay. 428 00:19:35,559 --> 00:19:36,559 Rex is badass. 429 00:19:36,559 --> 00:19:37,559 Yeah. 430 00:19:37,559 --> 00:19:41,559 12 bludgeoning damage plus 2d6 poison damage, 431 00:19:41,559 --> 00:19:42,559 even with his hooves. 432 00:19:42,559 --> 00:19:43,559 Okay. 433 00:19:43,559 --> 00:19:45,559 Um, plus seven poison. 434 00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:46,559 Okay. 435 00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:48,559 Not sure that the skeletons care about the poison, 436 00:19:48,559 --> 00:19:50,559 but it's there. 437 00:19:50,559 --> 00:19:52,559 They do not care about the poison. 438 00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:53,559 Yeah, I didn't think so. 439 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:54,559 The crushing is relevant. 440 00:19:54,559 --> 00:19:56,559 Uh, okay. 441 00:19:56,559 --> 00:19:58,559 Turns out they really care about the crushing. 442 00:19:58,559 --> 00:19:59,559 They really. 443 00:19:59,559 --> 00:20:00,559 Yeah, yeah. 444 00:20:00,559 --> 00:20:01,559 Care more so. 445 00:20:01,559 --> 00:20:03,559 All of them are still up. 446 00:20:03,559 --> 00:20:05,559 The one that broke apart you see behind you 447 00:20:05,559 --> 00:20:07,559 is starting to reform as we move back. 448 00:20:07,559 --> 00:20:08,559 Of course. 449 00:20:08,559 --> 00:20:09,559 Somebody run over there 450 00:20:09,559 --> 00:20:11,559 and just start throwing the individual pieces 451 00:20:11,559 --> 00:20:13,559 over the edge of the cliff. 452 00:20:13,559 --> 00:20:15,559 Come on, let's solve a problem, people. 453 00:20:15,559 --> 00:20:16,559 Let's do this. 454 00:20:16,559 --> 00:20:17,559 Don't need this femur. 455 00:20:17,559 --> 00:20:19,559 Make some neat jewelry with it instead. 456 00:20:19,559 --> 00:20:22,559 I think that I am going to, 457 00:20:22,559 --> 00:20:24,559 no, that's just no damage, 458 00:20:24,559 --> 00:20:25,559 and that is necrotic damage, 459 00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:27,559 which against the skeleton, 460 00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:29,559 probably not very helpful. 461 00:20:29,559 --> 00:20:30,559 I mean, might even heal them? 462 00:20:30,559 --> 00:20:32,559 Maybe, right? 463 00:20:32,559 --> 00:20:35,559 Uh, so let's, sacred flame. 464 00:20:35,559 --> 00:20:37,559 So, dex. 465 00:20:37,559 --> 00:20:38,559 Roll dex. 466 00:20:38,559 --> 00:20:39,559 Roll in. 467 00:20:39,559 --> 00:20:41,559 On the one that's, you know, attacking me. 468 00:20:41,559 --> 00:20:42,559 Yup. 469 00:20:42,559 --> 00:20:43,559 Uh, 11. 470 00:20:43,559 --> 00:20:44,559 Ha ha! 471 00:20:44,559 --> 00:20:46,559 Are bones flammable? 472 00:20:46,559 --> 00:20:48,559 I hope so because I rolled 24 damage. 473 00:20:48,559 --> 00:20:50,559 I hate radiant damage. 474 00:20:50,559 --> 00:20:53,559 I would have to think undead slash bone monsters 475 00:20:53,559 --> 00:20:54,559 would take it extra hard. 476 00:20:54,559 --> 00:20:55,559 You would think, right? 477 00:20:55,559 --> 00:20:57,559 Bone monsters. 478 00:20:58,559 --> 00:21:02,559 Hey, I have a bone monster inside me right now, Tom. 479 00:21:02,559 --> 00:21:05,559 I think you should show a little respect. 480 00:21:05,559 --> 00:21:06,559 My apologies. 481 00:21:06,559 --> 00:21:08,559 We're all just bone monsters. 482 00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:09,559 We're all just bone monsters 483 00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:10,559 covered in flesh. 484 00:21:10,559 --> 00:21:11,559 Trying to make our way in the world. 485 00:21:11,559 --> 00:21:12,559 Jesus. 486 00:21:15,559 --> 00:21:17,559 Amy doesn't want to be my friend anymore. 487 00:21:17,559 --> 00:21:19,559 No, I definitely do. 488 00:21:19,559 --> 00:21:21,559 Because what was going to come out of my mouth is going to be, 489 00:21:21,559 --> 00:21:23,559 is going to be my new Tinder username. 490 00:21:27,559 --> 00:21:28,559 I'm not on Tinder. 491 00:21:28,559 --> 00:21:30,559 Just to clarify. 492 00:21:30,559 --> 00:21:31,559 Well, you are now 493 00:21:31,559 --> 00:21:33,559 because you came up with that amazing name. 494 00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:34,559 Bone monster. 495 00:21:34,559 --> 00:21:35,559 We're an apple, honey. 496 00:21:35,559 --> 00:21:36,559 Yeah. 497 00:21:36,559 --> 00:21:37,559 I don't know. 498 00:21:37,559 --> 00:21:38,559 Well, I have sex. 499 00:21:38,559 --> 00:21:39,559 Yeah. 500 00:21:39,559 --> 00:21:40,559 Whatever. 501 00:21:40,559 --> 00:21:41,559 You know, sex. 502 00:21:41,559 --> 00:21:42,559 Bone monster? 503 00:21:42,559 --> 00:21:43,559 I get it. 504 00:21:43,559 --> 00:21:44,559 Come on. 505 00:21:44,559 --> 00:21:45,559 Yeah, no, we're all here. 506 00:21:45,559 --> 00:21:46,559 I know. 507 00:21:46,559 --> 00:21:47,559 We got it. 508 00:21:47,559 --> 00:21:48,559 You're the one still explaining it. 509 00:21:48,559 --> 00:21:49,559 I know. 510 00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:50,559 Sorry. 511 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:51,559 I haven't had a good dick joke in a while, 512 00:21:51,559 --> 00:21:53,559 so it's just awkward. 513 00:21:53,559 --> 00:21:55,559 That's a massive hit on this one. 514 00:21:55,559 --> 00:21:57,559 The legs crush out from below it. 515 00:21:57,559 --> 00:22:00,559 You see whatever splinters off is beginning to move back 516 00:22:00,559 --> 00:22:03,559 and towards another of the creatures. 517 00:22:04,559 --> 00:22:05,559 Pelgear. 518 00:22:05,559 --> 00:22:10,559 OK, so am I engaged with one of the ones that I'm fighting with 519 00:22:10,559 --> 00:22:12,559 or is there still like some wiggle room to get around a little bit? 520 00:22:12,559 --> 00:22:15,559 No, you would have been straight melee. 521 00:22:15,559 --> 00:22:19,559 OK, let's do some more damage of some kind. 522 00:22:19,559 --> 00:22:21,559 Maybe I'll take like one slice 523 00:22:21,559 --> 00:22:27,559 and then another try to like use my shield to like bash him into the chasm. 524 00:22:27,559 --> 00:22:28,559 Yeah, for sure. 525 00:22:28,559 --> 00:22:29,559 Throw a little something different at him. 526 00:22:29,559 --> 00:22:30,559 I like it. 527 00:22:30,559 --> 00:22:36,559 First one with my plus 13 is a 22. 528 00:22:36,559 --> 00:22:40,559 OK, got to beat 16 on all of this here. 529 00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:42,559 I keep forgetting to say, but yeah. 530 00:22:42,559 --> 00:22:45,559 And a 22 for the shield bash. 531 00:22:45,559 --> 00:22:48,559 Yeah, it goes flying off, shooting out into the chasm below. 532 00:22:48,559 --> 00:22:53,559 So one is gone for now anyways. 533 00:22:53,559 --> 00:22:56,559 The one that had originally broken apart is now beginning to reform. 534 00:22:56,559 --> 00:23:00,559 Actually, it's moving towards the pieces that are moving to reassemble. 535 00:23:00,559 --> 00:23:05,559 So it looks like three of them are trying to, again, reconvene together. 536 00:23:05,559 --> 00:23:08,559 And the one that's fighting you, Thea, is going to swing. 537 00:23:08,559 --> 00:23:11,559 And that's a plus 12. 538 00:23:11,559 --> 00:23:12,559 21. 539 00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:15,559 How long did the nice spell last? 540 00:23:15,559 --> 00:23:20,559 That gave me a plus two for my armor class. 541 00:23:20,559 --> 00:23:22,559 I think 10 minutes. 542 00:23:22,559 --> 00:23:26,559 How long were we out for? 543 00:23:26,559 --> 00:23:29,559 Yeah, we'll say it's at the tail end, sure. 544 00:23:29,559 --> 00:23:32,559 OK, it doesn't matter because it brings me to a 19. 545 00:23:32,559 --> 00:23:33,559 I just wanted to know. 546 00:23:33,559 --> 00:23:35,559 OK, that hits me. 547 00:23:35,559 --> 00:23:37,559 10 thunder damage. 548 00:23:37,559 --> 00:23:39,559 Thea. 549 00:23:39,559 --> 00:23:42,559 I'm going to hit that one. 550 00:23:42,559 --> 00:23:45,559 I'm going to hit him back, I guess. 551 00:23:45,559 --> 00:23:49,559 I want to use like thorn whip and pull the creature. 552 00:23:49,559 --> 00:23:54,559 And it says 10 feet closer to me, but I want it to be 10 feet toward the chasm. 553 00:23:54,559 --> 00:23:56,559 You want momentum to take over? 554 00:23:56,559 --> 00:23:57,559 Yeah. 555 00:23:57,559 --> 00:23:58,559 OK. 556 00:23:58,559 --> 00:23:59,559 That's what I'd like to do. 557 00:23:59,559 --> 00:24:00,559 Sure, you can certainly try. 558 00:24:00,559 --> 00:24:01,559 Okey dokey. 559 00:24:01,559 --> 00:24:08,559 So I don't pray to anybody, but I just hope that this isn't going to cause a huge universal backlash. 560 00:24:08,559 --> 00:24:13,559 And I create a long vine-like whip that's all thorny. 561 00:24:13,559 --> 00:24:16,559 Probably doesn't matter to him, but whatever. 562 00:24:16,559 --> 00:24:25,559 That comes out of my hand and it is going to try to wrap itself around the creature. 563 00:24:25,559 --> 00:24:27,559 Oh, 18. 564 00:24:27,559 --> 00:24:28,559 18 will hit. 565 00:24:28,559 --> 00:24:30,559 And is there still fairy fire? 566 00:24:30,559 --> 00:24:33,559 Not on the one that I'm fighting. 567 00:24:33,559 --> 00:24:36,559 There's one that I missed. 568 00:24:36,559 --> 00:24:41,559 And it takes 1d6 piercing, and that's a 3. 569 00:24:41,559 --> 00:24:44,559 And this creature's large, right? 570 00:24:44,559 --> 00:24:45,559 Yep. 571 00:24:45,559 --> 00:24:46,559 OK, good. 572 00:24:46,559 --> 00:24:53,559 So I pull it, and I want to pull it 10 feet and try to like, not to me, I want to like whip it. 573 00:24:53,559 --> 00:24:55,559 Try to whip it past me. 574 00:24:55,559 --> 00:24:58,559 Just drag it closer to the chasm somehow. 575 00:24:58,559 --> 00:25:00,559 I don't know how close I am to the chasm, but that's my end goal. 576 00:25:00,559 --> 00:25:02,559 So you're going to whip it? 577 00:25:02,559 --> 00:25:03,559 Whip it good. 578 00:25:03,559 --> 00:25:05,559 You know I am, Tom. 579 00:25:05,559 --> 00:25:07,559 Yes, you do that. 580 00:25:07,559 --> 00:25:10,559 As it passes you, though, make a dexterity saving throw. 581 00:25:10,559 --> 00:25:14,559 Well, I just want to attack it again as it passes me, though, because I have my daggers still. 582 00:25:14,559 --> 00:25:15,559 Can I do that? 583 00:25:15,559 --> 00:25:17,559 Sure, but you're pulling it. 584 00:25:17,559 --> 00:25:19,559 So I'm going to get you to make a dexterity saving throw. 585 00:25:19,559 --> 00:25:21,559 OK, all right, fine. I can do that. 586 00:25:21,559 --> 00:25:23,559 No, I can't do that. 587 00:25:29,559 --> 00:25:32,559 It's the middle time, and we're starting right now. 588 00:25:32,559 --> 00:25:33,559 It's the middle! 589 00:25:33,559 --> 00:25:34,559 We're not going to talk about kissing. 590 00:25:34,559 --> 00:25:36,559 Oh, did you think it was a round, Amy? 591 00:25:36,559 --> 00:25:39,559 Yeah, well, I was just jumping with my own, right? 592 00:25:39,559 --> 00:25:42,559 I just kept going, and now we're talking about kissing. 593 00:25:42,559 --> 00:25:44,559 I said we're not going to talk about kissing. 594 00:25:44,559 --> 00:25:47,559 I got in so much trouble. 595 00:25:47,559 --> 00:25:48,559 So many weird emails. 596 00:25:48,559 --> 00:25:51,559 Guys, they called HR on me. I'm HR. 597 00:25:51,559 --> 00:25:53,559 It was a very awkward conversation. 598 00:25:53,559 --> 00:25:57,559 It was a really like 100th episode type of conversation that he had to have with himself. 599 00:25:57,559 --> 00:26:01,559 Russ, excuse me, just put you on hold here. 600 00:26:01,559 --> 00:26:03,559 A very special episode. 601 00:26:03,559 --> 00:26:04,559 I'm sorry, you called yourself. 602 00:26:04,559 --> 00:26:07,559 You didn't even take yourself into your own office. 603 00:26:07,559 --> 00:26:08,559 You decided it was too awkward. 604 00:26:08,559 --> 00:26:10,559 You had to do it via phone. 605 00:26:10,559 --> 00:26:11,559 Yeah, two different lines. 606 00:26:11,559 --> 00:26:15,559 But not only via phone, but via phone on speakerphone. 607 00:26:15,559 --> 00:26:16,559 It was something. 608 00:26:16,559 --> 00:26:21,559 Yeah, well, we need to be able to hear it as a group, right? 609 00:26:21,559 --> 00:26:23,559 I wanted to know the matter was being dealt with. 610 00:26:23,559 --> 00:26:26,559 Excuse me, Russ. Russ is here. 611 00:26:26,559 --> 00:26:31,559 All right, well, I hope you're all enjoying this episode. 612 00:26:31,559 --> 00:26:36,559 And this interlude. Apologies for two minutes like this. 613 00:26:36,559 --> 00:26:37,559 But I think this might be why. 614 00:26:37,559 --> 00:26:39,559 We definitely didn't record them on the same night. 615 00:26:39,559 --> 00:26:43,559 No, this might just be why you come here to the middle and you don't just skip, skip, skip, skip, skip past it. 616 00:26:43,559 --> 00:26:46,559 Because you never know what's going to come out of Russ's mouth. 617 00:26:46,559 --> 00:26:47,559 Is it going to be a kiss? 618 00:26:47,559 --> 00:26:49,559 Might be. 619 00:26:49,559 --> 00:26:57,559 The kiss, the kiss is on my lips. 620 00:26:57,559 --> 00:26:59,559 What are we talking about? Who knows? Doesn't matter. 621 00:26:59,559 --> 00:27:00,559 Doesn't matter. 622 00:27:00,559 --> 00:27:02,559 Well, welcome to the middle. 623 00:27:02,559 --> 00:27:04,559 We're just going to restart. 624 00:27:04,559 --> 00:27:06,559 No, it's nowhere in it. 625 00:27:06,559 --> 00:27:07,559 This is it. 626 00:27:07,559 --> 00:27:09,559 We've committed to this being the middle. 627 00:27:09,559 --> 00:27:10,559 We're in the middle of the middle. 628 00:27:10,559 --> 00:27:12,559 And we've wasted a lot of time. 629 00:27:12,559 --> 00:27:15,559 So real quick, we should say. 630 00:27:15,559 --> 00:27:17,559 We really appreciate you guys listening. 631 00:27:17,559 --> 00:27:19,559 Yeah, we do. 632 00:27:19,559 --> 00:27:20,559 You're awesome. 633 00:27:20,559 --> 00:27:21,559 Yeah. 634 00:27:21,559 --> 00:27:24,559 And thanks for putting up with us. 635 00:27:24,559 --> 00:27:26,559 Yeah, that's a big one. 636 00:27:26,559 --> 00:27:28,559 Shenanigans. 637 00:27:28,559 --> 00:27:29,559 Okay. 638 00:27:29,559 --> 00:27:31,559 We'll get you back to the episode now. 639 00:27:31,559 --> 00:27:32,559 Okay. 640 00:27:32,559 --> 00:27:33,559 Thanks. 641 00:27:33,559 --> 00:27:41,559 Bye. 642 00:27:41,559 --> 00:27:43,559 You don't get out of the way quick enough. 643 00:27:43,559 --> 00:27:44,559 Oh, no. 644 00:27:44,559 --> 00:27:48,559 And you pull it and it connects with you. 645 00:27:48,559 --> 00:27:53,559 Oh, we're in a bony embrace. 646 00:27:53,559 --> 00:27:55,559 And we call this a bony M. 647 00:27:55,559 --> 00:27:58,559 Momentum takes over. 648 00:27:58,559 --> 00:28:01,559 And you feel yourself falling backwards. 649 00:28:01,559 --> 00:28:02,559 Not into the chasm, though. 650 00:28:02,559 --> 00:28:04,559 How close was I to the chasm? 651 00:28:04,559 --> 00:28:08,559 Guys, I've fallen into too many things in this stupid broadcast. 652 00:28:08,559 --> 00:28:09,559 Into the chasm. 653 00:28:09,559 --> 00:28:11,559 No. 654 00:28:11,559 --> 00:28:15,559 Did I obliterate the one that I was fighting? 655 00:28:15,559 --> 00:28:17,559 Yeah, it was crawling back towards the one that was fighting. 656 00:28:17,559 --> 00:28:18,559 Amy, I can fly. 657 00:28:18,559 --> 00:28:19,559 I'm going to try and catch her. 658 00:28:19,559 --> 00:28:20,559 It was breaking apart. 659 00:28:20,559 --> 00:28:21,559 It's not your turn. 660 00:28:21,559 --> 00:28:22,559 I would like to. 661 00:28:22,559 --> 00:28:24,559 I still have... 662 00:28:24,559 --> 00:28:25,559 In the future. 663 00:28:25,559 --> 00:28:26,559 In the future. 664 00:28:26,559 --> 00:28:29,559 Yes, I can wild shape as a bonus action. 665 00:28:29,559 --> 00:28:30,559 Sure you can. 666 00:28:30,559 --> 00:28:31,559 You've got one other action still. 667 00:28:31,559 --> 00:28:32,559 And a bonus action. 668 00:28:32,559 --> 00:28:33,559 Okay. 669 00:28:33,559 --> 00:28:36,559 Can I stab it while we're in the air and then wild shape? 670 00:28:36,559 --> 00:28:37,559 Because I feel angry. 671 00:28:37,559 --> 00:28:38,559 Sure. 672 00:28:38,559 --> 00:28:40,559 Or you could wild shape into something and then attack it. 673 00:28:40,559 --> 00:28:41,559 Yeah, that would... 674 00:28:41,559 --> 00:28:42,559 However you want to stack it. 675 00:28:42,559 --> 00:28:43,559 Okay. 676 00:28:43,559 --> 00:28:45,559 No, I'll wild shape into something. 677 00:28:45,559 --> 00:28:47,559 I don't know if this would work. 678 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:49,559 It might be stretching it a bit. 679 00:28:49,559 --> 00:28:54,559 I have something called hold the line, which is basically sentry. 680 00:28:54,559 --> 00:29:00,559 So if a creature is moving in a way that would provoke an opportunity attack, I could 681 00:29:00,559 --> 00:29:02,559 attack it and change its speed to zero. 682 00:29:02,559 --> 00:29:04,559 I don't know if I could stop them by... 683 00:29:04,559 --> 00:29:07,559 You're just going to straight up grab it by the collar? 684 00:29:07,559 --> 00:29:09,559 Just reaction, yeah? 685 00:29:09,559 --> 00:29:10,559 Yeah. 686 00:29:10,559 --> 00:29:11,559 Would that provoke an opportunity attack? 687 00:29:11,559 --> 00:29:13,559 Is it moving in a way where that would trigger? 688 00:29:13,559 --> 00:29:15,559 I don't know. 689 00:29:15,559 --> 00:29:16,559 It's a post-it note. 690 00:29:16,559 --> 00:29:17,559 I've had to... 691 00:29:17,559 --> 00:29:18,559 Got to try. 692 00:29:18,559 --> 00:29:21,559 Is the thorn whip pulling it past? 693 00:29:21,559 --> 00:29:22,559 Yeah, I like it. 694 00:29:22,559 --> 00:29:23,559 I like it. 695 00:29:23,559 --> 00:29:24,559 I like it. 696 00:29:24,559 --> 00:29:25,559 Yeah, let's do it. 697 00:29:25,559 --> 00:29:28,559 So yeah, if you hit it, then this thing stops the fall. 698 00:29:28,559 --> 00:29:29,559 Okay. 699 00:29:29,559 --> 00:29:30,559 Hit it. 700 00:29:30,559 --> 00:29:33,559 I don't want to fall in stuff anymore. 701 00:29:33,559 --> 00:29:36,559 Shit, what's its AC? 702 00:29:36,559 --> 00:29:37,559 16. 703 00:29:37,559 --> 00:29:39,559 Yeah, 15. 704 00:29:39,559 --> 00:29:45,559 Again, with the space between the bones, it's so confusing. 705 00:29:45,559 --> 00:29:48,559 It's like right between the ribs and then... 706 00:29:48,559 --> 00:29:54,559 Theo pulls this creature in and Agatha, you try and reach out, but just miss, just nick 707 00:29:54,559 --> 00:30:01,559 the collar bone as the momentum takes over and Thea tumbles with this thing over the 708 00:30:01,559 --> 00:30:02,559 edge. 709 00:30:02,559 --> 00:30:04,559 What are you wild shaping it to? 710 00:30:04,559 --> 00:30:05,559 A shark. 711 00:30:05,559 --> 00:30:06,559 Pick a shark. 712 00:30:06,559 --> 00:30:07,559 It's going to be a shark. 713 00:30:07,559 --> 00:30:09,559 There's water below, right? 714 00:30:09,559 --> 00:30:10,559 You don't know what's below. 715 00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:11,559 It's dark. 716 00:30:11,559 --> 00:30:12,559 Could be a goose. 717 00:30:12,559 --> 00:30:13,559 I see a goose there. 718 00:30:13,559 --> 00:30:14,559 A cute pig. 719 00:30:14,559 --> 00:30:15,559 A king of... 720 00:30:15,559 --> 00:30:16,559 Geese are pretty scary. 721 00:30:16,559 --> 00:30:17,559 A king of chickens. 722 00:30:17,559 --> 00:30:19,559 Yeah, geese are real wild. 723 00:30:19,559 --> 00:30:20,559 Terrifying. 724 00:30:20,559 --> 00:30:21,559 Swans are pretty mean. 725 00:30:21,559 --> 00:30:23,559 Yeah, swans are real mean. 726 00:30:23,559 --> 00:30:26,559 What about like a giant eagle or something? 727 00:30:26,559 --> 00:30:31,559 Or alternately, a very small bird that could get out of the grip. 728 00:30:31,559 --> 00:30:33,559 Just get out of the grass. 729 00:30:33,559 --> 00:30:35,559 Like a little sparrow. 730 00:30:35,559 --> 00:30:36,559 Eagle. 731 00:30:36,559 --> 00:30:39,559 Okay, you turn into an eagle. 732 00:30:39,559 --> 00:30:40,559 Okay. 733 00:30:41,559 --> 00:30:43,559 Well, now I need to fight as an eagle. 734 00:30:43,559 --> 00:30:45,559 I need a fucking monster stack, Russell. 735 00:30:45,559 --> 00:30:46,559 You're an eagle. 736 00:30:46,559 --> 00:30:48,559 So you like... 737 00:30:48,559 --> 00:30:50,559 I want to attack it as it falls down. 738 00:30:50,559 --> 00:30:51,559 I'm mad. 739 00:30:51,559 --> 00:30:53,559 You want to hedge your bets and attack it. 740 00:30:53,559 --> 00:30:56,559 I would say you'd be more inclined to let it go as it's falling down. 741 00:30:56,559 --> 00:30:57,559 Falling into an unknown... 742 00:30:57,559 --> 00:30:58,559 It's just falling into the abyss. 743 00:30:58,559 --> 00:31:00,559 You can fly, it can't fly. 744 00:31:00,559 --> 00:31:02,559 Well, that we know of. 745 00:31:02,559 --> 00:31:03,559 True. 746 00:31:03,559 --> 00:31:04,559 Okay, you turn into an eagle. 747 00:31:04,559 --> 00:31:05,559 Yeah. 748 00:31:05,559 --> 00:31:09,559 You wriggle free and you begin to fly back up, leaving this thing to fall back 749 00:31:09,559 --> 00:31:10,559 down. 750 00:31:10,559 --> 00:31:12,559 The bones, we're following it. 751 00:31:12,559 --> 00:31:18,559 So most of them are going over the edge through whatever force that's drawing 752 00:31:18,559 --> 00:31:21,559 them together have also followed down over the edge. 753 00:31:21,559 --> 00:31:27,559 And you're out of combat as maybe an eagle comes back up and over the edge. 754 00:31:27,559 --> 00:31:30,559 Well, we should probably make a break for it while we can. 755 00:31:30,559 --> 00:31:32,559 Cool. 756 00:31:32,559 --> 00:31:34,559 It's not been an eagle. 757 00:31:34,559 --> 00:31:38,559 Did it wreck that bridge that was held on by threads? 758 00:31:38,559 --> 00:31:39,559 Hold on by threads? 759 00:31:39,559 --> 00:31:40,559 No. 760 00:31:40,559 --> 00:31:41,559 Okay. 761 00:31:41,559 --> 00:31:44,559 Then, yeah, I say we keep going. 762 00:31:44,559 --> 00:31:49,559 You pick up pace and begin moving quickly towards the bridge and you get there. 763 00:31:49,559 --> 00:31:53,559 And yeah, like I said, it looks like it's hanging on by a thread. 764 00:31:53,559 --> 00:31:55,559 How do you wish to proceed? 765 00:31:55,559 --> 00:32:00,559 Well, if we have an eagle that can fly over, we have a cleric who can fly. 766 00:32:00,559 --> 00:32:01,559 Oh, also I can fly. 767 00:32:01,559 --> 00:32:06,559 So now it's left to the two fighter types and a ghost horse. 768 00:32:06,559 --> 00:32:14,559 Rax and I are both perhaps too heavy for this. 769 00:32:14,559 --> 00:32:16,559 Do we still have the magic carpet? 770 00:32:16,559 --> 00:32:22,559 I was just going to say, my eagle flies up and says, what about the magic carpet? 771 00:32:22,559 --> 00:32:28,559 Ka. 772 00:32:28,559 --> 00:32:31,559 Yeah, let's get the old carpet out. 773 00:32:32,559 --> 00:32:37,559 And I say, you tear and it unrolls. 774 00:32:37,559 --> 00:32:42,559 And I think we have made this work before. 775 00:32:42,559 --> 00:32:43,559 Yeah. 776 00:32:43,559 --> 00:32:44,559 I mean, you're flying. 777 00:32:44,559 --> 00:32:45,559 Thea's flying. 778 00:32:45,559 --> 00:32:48,559 So you've got tall gear, a horse. 779 00:32:48,559 --> 00:32:50,559 Just might need to make a couple trips. 780 00:32:50,559 --> 00:32:51,559 Yeah. 781 00:32:51,559 --> 00:32:52,559 Got to make a couple trips. 782 00:32:52,559 --> 00:32:53,559 How far is it? 783 00:32:53,559 --> 00:32:54,559 This is like the fox. 784 00:32:54,559 --> 00:32:55,559 It's like a riddle. 785 00:32:55,559 --> 00:32:56,559 It is. 786 00:32:56,559 --> 00:32:57,559 Exactly. 787 00:32:57,559 --> 00:33:00,559 We've got a sack of grain, a fox and a sheep. 788 00:33:00,559 --> 00:33:03,559 I like that you've created your own problem to get over this. 789 00:33:03,559 --> 00:33:04,559 I love it. 790 00:33:04,559 --> 00:33:07,559 I like how Carla was very logical about it. 791 00:33:07,559 --> 00:33:08,559 We'll do multiple trips. 792 00:33:08,559 --> 00:33:10,559 Here I am trying to puzzle together. 793 00:33:10,559 --> 00:33:12,559 How can we fit all three of them onto it at the same time? 794 00:33:12,559 --> 00:33:15,559 Someone's got to ride the horse, obviously. 795 00:33:15,559 --> 00:33:21,559 Turns out I'm not on good terms with the horse, so we can't take the carpet together. 796 00:33:21,559 --> 00:33:24,559 How much can his carpet carry? 797 00:33:24,559 --> 00:33:26,559 800 pounds. 798 00:33:26,559 --> 00:33:28,559 How much is a demon horse? 799 00:33:28,559 --> 00:33:29,559 I don't know. 800 00:33:29,559 --> 00:33:31,559 Less than 800 pounds. 801 00:33:31,559 --> 00:33:32,559 799. 802 00:33:32,559 --> 00:33:34,559 799. 803 00:33:34,559 --> 00:33:42,559 I mean an adult horse, so says the internet, weighs 380 to 1,000 kilograms. 804 00:33:42,559 --> 00:33:43,559 Oh boy. 805 00:33:43,559 --> 00:33:44,559 Yeah. 806 00:33:44,559 --> 00:33:45,559 Okay. 807 00:33:45,559 --> 00:33:46,559 The heavy. 808 00:33:46,559 --> 00:33:49,559 But like he's part demon, so obviously that shapes like... 809 00:33:49,559 --> 00:33:51,559 Demon horses have hollow bones. 810 00:33:51,559 --> 00:33:53,559 Everybody knows that. 811 00:33:53,559 --> 00:33:55,559 We're all aware of this fact. 812 00:33:55,559 --> 00:33:56,559 Everyone knows that. 813 00:33:56,559 --> 00:33:57,559 All right. 814 00:33:57,559 --> 00:33:58,559 Get the horse on the magic carpet. 815 00:33:58,559 --> 00:33:59,559 Let's see what happens. 816 00:33:59,559 --> 00:34:01,559 This could take some convincing. 817 00:34:01,559 --> 00:34:03,559 Do we have... 818 00:34:03,559 --> 00:34:06,559 Oh, I can't cast spells when I'm an eagle. 819 00:34:06,559 --> 00:34:08,559 He has to go alone. 820 00:34:08,559 --> 00:34:14,559 And I think the carpet's going to push to its limit. 821 00:34:14,559 --> 00:34:15,559 All right. 822 00:34:15,559 --> 00:34:16,559 We're talking about this in character now. 823 00:34:16,559 --> 00:34:18,559 How are we getting the horse across a bridge? 824 00:34:18,559 --> 00:34:23,559 What if we tied a rope to the flying carpet 825 00:34:23,559 --> 00:34:26,559 and dangled the horse from the rope 826 00:34:26,559 --> 00:34:32,559 and then I with my strong talon claws pulled also upward 827 00:34:32,559 --> 00:34:39,559 relieving some of the weight of the horse from the carpet? 828 00:34:39,559 --> 00:34:41,559 I mean that's one plan. 829 00:34:41,559 --> 00:34:42,559 I'll do it too. 830 00:34:42,559 --> 00:34:43,559 I got big talons. 831 00:34:43,559 --> 00:34:44,559 Look at me. 832 00:34:44,559 --> 00:34:45,559 I'm a little tiny pseudo dragon. 833 00:34:45,559 --> 00:34:46,559 Yeah, you're an eagle. 834 00:34:46,559 --> 00:34:47,559 You're not much bigger. 835 00:34:47,559 --> 00:34:48,559 The end ball. 836 00:34:48,559 --> 00:34:49,559 You can fly underneath the horse. 837 00:34:49,559 --> 00:34:53,559 Try the tiny satchel or did you just disappear? 838 00:34:53,559 --> 00:34:55,559 No, I jumped out. 839 00:34:55,559 --> 00:34:57,559 Whenever you go, I leap. 840 00:34:57,559 --> 00:34:59,559 Oh, that's really good. 841 00:34:59,559 --> 00:35:00,559 That's very intuitive of you. 842 00:35:00,559 --> 00:35:04,559 Well, it's happened once before and you go to this weird place 843 00:35:04,559 --> 00:35:06,559 and there's no crackers there. 844 00:35:06,559 --> 00:35:14,559 I am skeptical that Rex will agree to this being bound. 845 00:35:14,559 --> 00:35:16,559 Does anyone know how to fix a rope bridge? 846 00:35:16,559 --> 00:35:19,559 Can we just fix the rope with our rope? 847 00:35:19,559 --> 00:35:22,559 That's possible. 848 00:35:22,559 --> 00:35:24,559 How damaged is the bridge? 849 00:35:24,559 --> 00:35:25,559 Is it really just the end? 850 00:35:25,559 --> 00:35:27,559 Is like the rope is worn? 851 00:35:27,559 --> 00:35:29,559 A person could step onto it. 852 00:35:29,559 --> 00:35:30,559 It's just frayed. 853 00:35:30,559 --> 00:35:31,559 What are you, a little horse, Russell? 854 00:35:31,559 --> 00:35:37,559 I mean it looks like a haunted house rope bridge 855 00:35:37,559 --> 00:35:40,559 that's got like the wiggle as you walk across it. 856 00:35:40,559 --> 00:35:41,559 We're all familiar. 857 00:35:41,559 --> 00:35:43,559 Yeah, that's what it looks like. 858 00:35:44,559 --> 00:35:48,559 You said it was quite frayed at the end. 859 00:35:48,559 --> 00:35:54,559 So maybe I will put some new rope on the old rope, tie that up. 860 00:35:54,559 --> 00:35:55,559 How far is it? 861 00:35:55,559 --> 00:35:58,559 Can I just zip to the other end, flying of course. 862 00:35:58,559 --> 00:36:00,559 See if maybe those are the weak points. 863 00:36:00,559 --> 00:36:01,559 Do the same thing. 864 00:36:01,559 --> 00:36:02,559 How long is your rope? 865 00:36:02,559 --> 00:36:03,559 I don't know. 866 00:36:03,559 --> 00:36:04,559 Normal rope length. 867 00:36:04,559 --> 00:36:05,559 30? 868 00:36:05,559 --> 00:36:06,559 Yeah, sure. 869 00:36:06,559 --> 00:36:08,559 But I'm not putting the whole rope on the whole thing. 870 00:36:08,559 --> 00:36:10,559 I'm putting some rope at the end. 871 00:36:10,559 --> 00:36:11,559 You're good. 872 00:36:11,559 --> 00:36:14,559 I'm not re-roping the whole bridge. 873 00:36:14,559 --> 00:36:15,559 All right. 874 00:36:15,559 --> 00:36:17,559 I have one level of exhaustion. 875 00:36:17,559 --> 00:36:19,559 I can't be re-roping a bridge all day. 876 00:36:19,559 --> 00:36:23,559 Oh, oh, oh, oh. 877 00:36:23,559 --> 00:36:24,559 It's magic. 878 00:36:24,559 --> 00:36:30,559 You know. 879 00:36:30,559 --> 00:36:38,559 Would it help if, and my satchel is still on me in my bird form 880 00:36:38,559 --> 00:36:45,559 and I kind of sat over to them and I'm like, look in here. 881 00:36:45,559 --> 00:36:48,559 I have the diamonds. 882 00:36:48,559 --> 00:36:49,559 Would that be helpful? 883 00:36:49,559 --> 00:36:50,559 You have what? 884 00:36:50,559 --> 00:36:52,559 You cut out right at that moment. 885 00:36:52,559 --> 00:36:53,559 I cut out. 886 00:36:53,559 --> 00:36:54,559 I have the diamonds. 887 00:36:54,559 --> 00:36:55,559 Would that be helpful? 888 00:36:55,559 --> 00:36:57,559 Oh, the jumpy diamonds. 889 00:36:57,559 --> 00:36:58,559 Oh, wait. 890 00:36:58,559 --> 00:37:00,559 Neither of you know what the jumpy diamonds are. 891 00:37:00,559 --> 00:37:01,559 No one knows. 892 00:37:01,559 --> 00:37:02,559 So OK. 893 00:37:02,559 --> 00:37:03,559 Carla knows. 894 00:37:03,559 --> 00:37:04,559 Nobody knows. 895 00:37:04,559 --> 00:37:05,559 No one knows. 896 00:37:05,559 --> 00:37:11,559 I am just a bird looking at two people wondering if these diamonds are going to help. 897 00:37:11,559 --> 00:37:13,559 Just a bird standing in front of another bird. 898 00:37:13,559 --> 00:37:16,559 Yes, the diamond. 899 00:37:16,559 --> 00:37:19,559 Trying to get a horse across the chasm. 900 00:37:19,559 --> 00:37:21,559 What are the jumpy diamonds? 901 00:37:21,559 --> 00:37:24,559 The diamonds are very pretty, but I don't know. 902 00:37:24,559 --> 00:37:26,559 These are teleportation diamonds. 903 00:37:26,559 --> 00:37:32,559 So if you were to throw a diamond and then look at a spot and then catch it, 904 00:37:32,559 --> 00:37:35,559 you will teleport to the place that you see. 905 00:37:35,559 --> 00:37:36,559 How do we communicate that? 906 00:37:36,559 --> 00:37:38,559 Can a horse do this? 907 00:37:38,559 --> 00:37:41,559 You can talk to horses Yanbook, can't you? 908 00:37:41,559 --> 00:37:45,559 Well, these more difficult concepts are a little bit hard. 909 00:37:45,559 --> 00:37:48,559 How does the horse throw it? 910 00:37:48,559 --> 00:37:53,559 Also, how does the horse catch it? 911 00:37:53,559 --> 00:37:55,559 Now, I also have a tome of thunderstep. 912 00:37:55,559 --> 00:37:59,559 Do you think you could open a book, say some words, 913 00:37:59,559 --> 00:38:04,559 close the book and then teleport itself to a place it can see? 914 00:38:04,559 --> 00:38:07,559 Guys, I can get from one place to another, but you need hands. 915 00:38:07,559 --> 00:38:10,559 Racks, work with me. 916 00:38:10,559 --> 00:38:14,559 Work with me, racks. 917 00:38:14,559 --> 00:38:19,559 Now that I've rope fixed the end of the bridge, can I go into the middle of the bridge, 918 00:38:19,559 --> 00:38:23,559 stand on it, and just jump up and down a lot to see how secure it is? 919 00:38:23,559 --> 00:38:25,559 Because I can fly, so it's fine. 920 00:38:25,559 --> 00:38:27,559 I just want to see, how is it? 921 00:38:27,559 --> 00:38:29,559 Does it seem secure? 922 00:38:29,559 --> 00:38:34,559 I know I don't weigh as much as a horse, but I'm putting a lot of movement. 923 00:38:34,559 --> 00:38:36,559 Here's another plan. 924 00:38:36,559 --> 00:38:43,559 What if we get the horse to cross the bridge with the carpet underneath the bridge, 925 00:38:43,559 --> 00:38:48,559 pushing up the whole way so that it's like the carpet. 926 00:38:48,559 --> 00:38:53,559 Oh yeah, the horse can't drive the carpet either. 927 00:38:53,559 --> 00:38:56,559 The horse has to take the bridge. 928 00:38:56,559 --> 00:39:00,559 The horse had problems with the astral plane thinking about going forward, 929 00:39:00,559 --> 00:39:03,559 let alone keep driving a carpet. 930 00:39:03,559 --> 00:39:08,559 Okay, listen, here's how you do it. 931 00:39:08,559 --> 00:39:12,559 This is where you lose a gath. 932 00:39:12,559 --> 00:39:15,559 She and the horse have to stay on the side of the bridge. 933 00:39:15,559 --> 00:39:17,559 This riddle is too much for us. 934 00:39:17,559 --> 00:39:19,559 She refuses to leave the horse. 935 00:39:19,559 --> 00:39:22,559 You know how we always focus on the horses a lot? 936 00:39:22,559 --> 00:39:23,559 Yeah. 937 00:39:23,559 --> 00:39:24,559 So should we just try? 938 00:39:24,559 --> 00:39:27,559 I'm just real scared to lose the horse. 939 00:39:27,559 --> 00:39:29,559 Me too. 940 00:39:29,559 --> 00:39:31,559 If it breaks. 941 00:39:31,559 --> 00:39:35,559 I mean, Russ would have to be a real dick right now for us to lose the horse. 942 00:39:35,559 --> 00:39:37,559 It's all I'm saying. 943 00:39:37,559 --> 00:39:41,559 And I mean, we've just brainstormed a lot of really good ideas. 944 00:39:41,559 --> 00:39:44,559 Okay, commit to your plan. 945 00:39:44,559 --> 00:39:46,559 I think you two should go on the carpet. 946 00:39:46,559 --> 00:39:48,559 You can go beside Rax. 947 00:39:48,559 --> 00:39:52,559 Rax can go across the bridge, and we will all go together as a group. 948 00:39:52,559 --> 00:39:55,559 But, you know, flying, flying, walking. 949 00:39:55,559 --> 00:39:57,559 How deep is the chasm? 950 00:39:57,559 --> 00:39:59,559 We don't know. 951 00:39:59,559 --> 00:40:01,559 Can't see the bottom? 952 00:40:01,559 --> 00:40:05,559 Can't see the bottom. 953 00:40:05,559 --> 00:40:07,559 Would you? Oh, here, hold on. 954 00:40:07,559 --> 00:40:12,559 And I want to fly down and see what's in the mist. 955 00:40:12,559 --> 00:40:13,559 Oh, see. 956 00:40:13,559 --> 00:40:14,559 Oh, no. 957 00:40:14,559 --> 00:40:15,559 This seems like a poor idea. 958 00:40:15,559 --> 00:40:18,559 I hate Russ's face. 959 00:40:18,559 --> 00:40:21,559 I'd like to fly into the dark mist, please. 960 00:40:21,559 --> 00:40:23,559 I changed my mind. 961 00:40:23,559 --> 00:40:25,559 Just did a real quick swoop drive by. 962 00:40:25,559 --> 00:40:27,559 Got close, had a real bad feeling. 963 00:40:27,559 --> 00:40:29,559 I did. I got to the mist. 964 00:40:29,559 --> 00:40:36,559 It was moist in there, and I just didn't want to get my feathers wet. 965 00:40:36,559 --> 00:40:40,559 And I fly back up, and I say, no, never mind. 966 00:40:40,559 --> 00:40:42,559 Come on, let's do this thing. 967 00:40:42,559 --> 00:40:49,559 Agath will, I guess, like, attach the bridle and like, you know, pull it over his head 968 00:40:49,559 --> 00:40:57,559 and, like, try and get positioned on the carpet to try and lead the horse across the bridge. 969 00:40:57,559 --> 00:41:00,559 Seems like such a bad idea. 970 00:41:00,559 --> 00:41:02,559 Oh, God. 971 00:41:02,559 --> 00:41:04,559 Don't have any spells for this. 972 00:41:04,559 --> 00:41:08,559 Wait, worse than having the horse try to throw and catch a diamond 973 00:41:08,559 --> 00:41:13,559 and end up in a location of its choosing? 974 00:41:13,559 --> 00:41:15,559 Oh, my God. 975 00:41:15,559 --> 00:41:17,559 I mean, for ranking though. 976 00:41:17,559 --> 00:41:18,559 We're so smart. 977 00:41:18,559 --> 00:41:23,559 I say we just, Russ is like, this is not where you guys are supposed to get tripped up. 978 00:41:23,559 --> 00:41:24,559 No. 979 00:41:24,559 --> 00:41:25,559 This is what happens always. 980 00:41:25,559 --> 00:41:29,559 If there was someone else here, I don't know how we've tricked Kristin into being one of us, 981 00:41:29,559 --> 00:41:32,559 but I swear if there was like anyone else we've ever played with, 982 00:41:32,559 --> 00:41:35,559 they'd just be like, oh, you see, you should just blank, blank, blank. 983 00:41:35,559 --> 00:41:37,559 And then there's always just some solution. 984 00:41:37,559 --> 00:41:40,559 It's the most obvious in the world. 985 00:41:40,559 --> 00:41:45,559 Can I call a physics professor real quick? 986 00:41:46,559 --> 00:41:49,559 Climb aboard the magic carpet, set up racks. 987 00:41:49,559 --> 00:41:50,559 All right. 988 00:41:50,559 --> 00:41:55,559 I will put my face right against his translucent, creepy, 989 00:41:55,559 --> 00:42:01,559 see the veins and muscles beneath face, that really sweet, terrifying face. 990 00:42:01,559 --> 00:42:04,559 And I'll be. 991 00:42:04,559 --> 00:42:08,559 Now you will walk in a straight line. 992 00:42:08,559 --> 00:42:11,559 Don't look down. 993 00:42:11,559 --> 00:42:15,559 Perhaps look at the board so you do not step between the boards. 994 00:42:15,559 --> 00:42:18,559 That would not be ideal. 995 00:42:18,559 --> 00:42:20,559 Look out in front. 996 00:42:20,559 --> 00:42:23,559 Move steadily. 997 00:42:23,559 --> 00:42:26,559 And we will make it to the other side. 998 00:42:26,559 --> 00:42:30,559 Do not fear. 999 00:42:30,559 --> 00:42:32,559 We have. 1000 00:42:32,559 --> 00:42:36,559 Gods to find and. 1001 00:42:36,559 --> 00:42:41,559 Terrible things to kill, and I know how much you love that. 1002 00:42:45,559 --> 00:42:49,559 There is much recognition as you can get from racks. 1003 00:42:49,559 --> 00:42:51,559 You get in that moment. 1004 00:42:51,559 --> 00:42:55,559 You climb aboard the magic carpet and everybody sets off and racks 1005 00:42:55,559 --> 00:43:02,559 takes that first step and you hear creaking and like pulling of the ropes. 1006 00:43:02,559 --> 00:43:04,559 And it takes the second one. 1007 00:43:04,559 --> 00:43:09,559 His weight begins to push the bridge down. 1008 00:43:09,559 --> 00:43:15,559 You find yourself making your way slowly across this bridge 1009 00:43:15,559 --> 00:43:21,559 till about halfway and one of them gives way, snaps. 1010 00:43:21,559 --> 00:43:24,559 Kind of panics the horse in a moment. 1011 00:43:24,559 --> 00:43:26,559 Shh. Shh. 1012 00:43:26,559 --> 00:43:29,559 Focus. Focus. 1013 00:43:29,559 --> 00:43:36,559 Horse steals and begins moving forward, stepping over the broken board. 1014 00:43:36,559 --> 00:43:43,559 It's a very tense, long few minutes as you slowly make your way across 1015 00:43:43,559 --> 00:43:49,559 until finally you step up and on to the other side. 1016 00:43:50,559 --> 00:43:54,559 Collapse with exhaustion. 1017 00:43:54,559 --> 00:43:57,559 Caw. 1018 00:44:00,559 --> 00:44:04,559 It's a Caw of triumph. 1019 00:44:04,559 --> 00:44:11,559 You turn and you look up these steps towards this castle before you, looming before you 1020 00:44:11,559 --> 00:44:20,559 and you see carved into the wall above the door is a giant raven's head. 1021 00:44:41,559 --> 00:44:45,559 This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and sound effects from Epidemic Sound, 1022 00:44:45,559 --> 00:44:47,559 Boom Library and Sound Ideas. 1023 00:44:47,559 --> 00:44:50,559 A huge thank you to our supporting producers. 1024 00:44:50,559 --> 00:44:54,559 Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok, Stevie, Kat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, 1025 00:44:54,559 --> 00:44:58,559 Christian Brown, Devin Michaels, Aaron Stevens and Eric Houlihan. 1026 00:44:58,559 --> 00:45:01,559 To support Dumbgeons and Dragons and our many other productions 1027 00:45:01,559 --> 00:45:04,559 and get access to an exclusive podcast called The Adventures Of, 1028 00:45:04,559 --> 00:45:07,559 bonus episodes and much more, please join our Patreon 1029 00:45:07,559 --> 00:45:10,559 at Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast, 1030 00:45:10,559 --> 00:45:13,559 where when we reach 100 patrons, we'll release an exclusive 1031 00:45:13,559 --> 00:45:17,559 Grantzis and Flamingans bonus episode, Escaping the Abyss. 1032 00:45:17,559 --> 00:45:21,559 You can also follow us at facebook.com slash Dumb Dragon Podcast 1033 00:45:21,559 --> 00:45:24,559 and on Instagram and Twitter, at Dumb Dragon Cast. 1034 00:45:24,559 --> 00:45:28,559 Thank you for listening. Have a great week. We'll talk again soon. 1035 00:45:28,559 --> 00:45:30,559 Oh yeah, this is what it looks like. 1036 00:45:30,559 --> 00:45:31,559 Yeah. 1037 00:45:31,559 --> 00:45:32,559 Oh, that's terrifying. 1038 00:45:32,559 --> 00:45:33,559 Pretty gross. 1039 00:45:33,559 --> 00:45:34,559 I like it. 1040 00:45:34,559 --> 00:45:35,559 Gross. 1041 00:45:35,559 --> 00:45:40,559 Then I want to, I want to take back my previous upset about Primsbane. 1042 00:45:40,559 --> 00:45:41,559 Because it's cool. 1043 00:45:41,559 --> 00:45:42,559 No, because it was- 1044 00:45:42,559 --> 00:45:45,559 Orgas is fine, but fuck Primsbane. 1045 00:45:45,559 --> 00:45:50,559 In a book, which means Primsbane didn't just like piece it together. 1046 00:45:50,559 --> 00:45:54,559 Yeah, because this book exists in forgotten realms. 1047 00:45:54,559 --> 00:45:58,559 No, but the monster likely does. 1048 00:45:58,559 --> 00:46:00,559 Let's not think of that's how monsters work. 1049 00:46:00,559 --> 00:46:04,559 Because they're in a monster manual, therefore they are natural. 1050 00:46:04,559 --> 00:46:05,559 Yeah. 1051 00:46:05,559 --> 00:46:08,559 Okay, fine. Fuck Primsbane. Fuck that guy. 1052 00:46:08,559 --> 00:46:10,559 That's right. You can keep your, keep your business. 1053 00:46:10,559 --> 00:46:11,559 Keep my anger? 1054 00:46:11,559 --> 00:46:13,559 Back to the top. Yenbowl. 1055 00:46:13,559 --> 00:46:14,559 I haven't gone yet. 1056 00:46:14,559 --> 00:46:15,559 Oh. 1057 00:46:15,559 --> 00:46:16,559 And I also haven't gone yet. 1058 00:46:16,559 --> 00:46:19,559 Oh, Thea, sorry. I just, I was going down being like, 1059 00:46:19,559 --> 00:46:22,559 they hit you in this order and I'm like, yeah, that's it. 1060 00:46:22,559 --> 00:46:26,559 I can't tell you how many times Rossa skipped my turn. 1061 00:46:26,559 --> 00:46:28,559 I think it's happened to all of us. 1062 00:46:29,559 --> 00:46:32,559 I like how we're like, we are just completely railroading this thing. 1063 00:46:32,559 --> 00:46:37,559 We're just like, yeah, listen, we're not passing this bridge unless you can promise us the safety of the horse. 1064 00:46:37,559 --> 00:46:39,559 We need safety guaranteed for the demon horse. 1065 00:46:39,559 --> 00:46:40,559 I need it in writing. 1066 00:46:40,559 --> 00:46:44,559 Look, we're not saving Flint because if we save him, he's the end of the world. 1067 00:46:44,559 --> 00:46:47,559 But this motherfucking horse is important to us. 1068 00:46:47,559 --> 00:46:52,559 I'm putting up more fight for this horse than for any of my characters who have died. 1069 00:46:52,559 --> 00:46:55,559 Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.