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previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.

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We were talking to the Shadow about the plan to go to hire folks to go find the pieces of your

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dead sword. Oh he's still trying to find the stuffing. Maybe that wasn't the best way to go

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about um reconciling your family and improving trade relations. All right you're hired. I

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don't know that we have like that exact skill set. Well yeah but you said you wanted

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to uh you know you gave all that stuff about bridging and talking and right right right right

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the textiles it seems to me really I've just did everything hammered down and you said I

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don't have to deal Calichrist's and uh Breton. You hear footsteps kind of down below deck

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and they stumble up. I mean if Captain Ron is the template one of us is gonna fuck this guy.

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So

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all right there Jonathan you got friends today all right this is gonna be a wild ride.

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Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your dungeon master Russ More. He, him also with me today

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is Amy More. She, her and yeah I am here and I play Sullivan Sleight. I Lightfoot Halfling Rogue.

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He, him also with me Tom Laird. Hey that's me yeah he, him uh and I play Moot who is a wild

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magic half-orc sorcerer who also goes by he, him. And Carla Max dead. She, her I play Glim,

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a dragonborn pAlydin also she, her. Who's ready to play some some fun boat stuff hey.

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Well I'm looking for a lot of nautical puns in this. I'm very excited. Okay good so you know

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what you have to bring now then. No no no that's what I'm looking for. Oh I'm looking

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for others to provide that for me for my enjoyment in this episode. Oh okay yeah that's

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that's what that's what we that's why we do this yeah to entertain Amy. Yeah fair enough. I mean

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it's not not why we do it. Yeah if we're entertained then you're entertained obviously.

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So that's what we try for. The minute it stops being fun it's not gonna happen anymore

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folks. Yeah I know that's why we gotta keep it fun. That's why number one on the list

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today before we started recording was let's talk about that fun. Yeah how do you make something fun?

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In Merriam-Webster's dictionary fun is. You're nailing it. Fun is defined as. Yeah where we

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don't read dictionary definitions is over on Patreon. Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.

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What do we do over there? We dedicate an episode to a patron. Yeah we do do that. Who's our

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lucky patron today? Today's patron dedication is Brian Sullivan. Come on down.

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Oh my god does Brian just win something like that's a big fanfare. Seems like it. Yeah yeah

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it's true. Well I know we're really excited. Yeah we're going into a boat episode so we're

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gonna screw up all of the boat terms. Hopefully Brian's not a mariner. He will be very angry

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with us for everything we say in this episode. I know. So thank you Brian.

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Join us today Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast. We hope to see you over there and now

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fuck it let's play. We hear the sound of waves against the hull of the boat.

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Mooklim and Sully you have made your way down to the hold because the captain was missing

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and you find him leaning back in a chair his eyes wide open. You stare at him the longest

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period of time and it doesn't appear to be breathing. I'm sorry did we go down into the

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hole? Have we abandoned ship terms from the beginning? Okay I knew the D at the end and I

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was like whoa right off the bat we're just we're not even trying. Downstairs is technically in a

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hole so that's where we're going. I mean you're not wrong. Um captain? Captain Dorbin? Hello?

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This guy's really rude. I don't I don't. Mook go poke him. I don't want to. Take one

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of your pencils and just poke him a little bit. No I don't think that's gonna wake him up I

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don't think anything's gonna wake him up. Some people sleep with their eyes closed no open and

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and there are also other people who sleep with their eyes closed that's what I'm saying but he

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can be one of those people who sleep with their eyes not not closed open. Okay so your

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your theory just so I have it right is that he's very much alive just sleeping with his

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eyes open and also not breathing. Yeah maybe. Some people you know it's a sleep uh what

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a sleep sleep uh apnea that's the right word.

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See just big big pauses between breaths. Okay that I mean that doesn't seem healthy.

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Well oh no people can die in their sleep because of it's probably really not good

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you're actually supposed to wake somebody up uh excuse me uh Captain Captain Dorbin

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Captain what's his name? Cap Captain? Cap Captain? Can I go uh clap right in front of his face?

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Hey oh what hey. See I told you he was alive. Oh thank goodness thank goodness. You look at

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him and his glass eye is completely like looking off to the side. No it's my grade

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four teacher Monsieur Le Flemme. I'm just going to look right between his eyes I've learned

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not to look at either one because I don't want to be rude so I'm just going to always look

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right between his two eyes so it's a little bit off to him but it's okay. Moot kind of just

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takes like a sidestep to the right where he thinks the eye is looking. What do you what

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what's going on down here? Um just just nice to see you alive. Yeah no yeah I'm alive all the time.

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Why are you standing over there? Oh I no no reason. Oh is the eye doing something again?

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Yeah it's going super weird it's all the way to the it's all the way over it. I just I

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didn't know where to stand. He smacks himself on the back of the head and it falls out

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kind of looks at it and then pops it back in. Oh you didn't even cling that first.

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Is that better? Opens his eyes really wide. Yeah yeah yeah much better. You look great. Great

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all right well you got the ship point in the right direction. Um I mean that's sort of more

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your thing. One of us are supposed to be up there. That's sort of you're sort of like the

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uh make us go the right yes captain is the word for that. Well Jonathan's up there he's

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probably got to sort it out and he stands up and starts to stretch. Oh the same John oh yeah no

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yeah yeah we probably shouldn't have left him up there. Last time I saw him he was looking

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at a bird. All right well I've got uh four people who know how to work a boat. Right

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all right this just keeps getting better. Well we're quick learners. Sure all right come on

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let's learn. Starts heading back up the steps. Okay. Step out onto the ship or onto the not even

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trying. Onto the ship. Onto the ship. Yeah. Onto the deck of the barge right in and he kind of

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clears away some of the tarps. Says well we don't even have the sail up. How are we supposed

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to go anywhere? Is this is this the jib? I've heard of the jib. Oh yeah to the left. Are we

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Russ uh are we under sail? Are we still at the dock? I assumed when we came upon him

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in the so we already met him right? Yeah okay so we're like out in the water. You're out in the

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water. Okay good. I was like wait did I miss something? Yeah no we haven't left yet. Yeah we're on the way okay.

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All right hoist the mainsail get the jib. Yeah you got the jib there moot all right and

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then uh you know swab the poop deck there. Who's hoite? Now I'm supposed to cut the jib

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that's correct? Yeah you cut it you twirl it you call it a nice name and it'll buy you a drink later.

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I'm not doing anything with poop. All right well go convince Jonathan that it's his turn then.

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I'm just gonna tell him. Hey Jonathan! What? You gotta sweep the the pooper. You want me to sweep

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your pooper? Not mine the ship's. All right I guess really my turn again? Yeah your turn

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there bud. Okay he goes off. Where do we keep the bucket again? Dolly can you help me find

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the bucket? Fine well I think it's down here in the hole. Oh okay let's go down in the hole and

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find the bucket. All right you first. So uh taking you to tether here what kind of boat

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experience you got? Not a lot um mainly grew up in a forest village so not a lot of boats.

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Hmm forest village. How about you? Well I've been like in a small rowboat like on a lake but not

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right like not sailing the open seas. Well we're in for a real rough ride then it's gonna be

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a hard learning experience to get this boat. I make it sound like I'm gonna teach you a

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lot about boats. I'm really not gonna teach you a lot about boats. I'm gonna tell you to

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pull on a rope and then something's gonna happen and then uh so yeah you pull on that

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rope over there you cut the jib so all you gotta do is like give a hard yank on that rope and uh

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okay away we go again three two one okay yeah you do so and the sail begins to rise and catches

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the wind and you begin to begin to move forward. Oh this is so much faster than when the sail

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wasn't up. I can't believe that we're doing stuff like this it seems so easy now. Hey

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pass me a drink there scoot. Oh uh what is it grog? Do I get to pass you grog? Please do

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if that's what you brought. Oh no I didn't I just thought I just kind of assumed it was

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on all boats. All right yeah it's in the in the cooler up front there I just thought

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if you brought some maybe I could have some of yours first. Oh I well you know next time

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we stop somewhere I'll get some extra. Perfect perfect looking forward to it back downstairs.

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So they used to keep it in that closet there if you want to check in there. Well you can check

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in there. Well you're the one who's supervising me so I. Yeah I'm gonna supervise you checking

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in there. All right. I can do your work for you Jonathan that's why nobody will call you the

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shadow the shadow gets shit done. Yeah but I mean you're Fimpar already outed me as not

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the shadow so I mean you lose kind of a little bit of the the power behind it you know

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All right well now you got the opportunity to become a pirate or something. Oh. So get your

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shit together and get that bucket and and swap poop. All right all right you seem like you've

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swapped some poop before. A couple times in my day. He grabs a bucket and says all right well

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what do I do now? I think you need a mop. Okay what do I do now? All right now I think

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you gotta go up this you gotta go back up the stairs listen. Why did we come down the

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stairs? All a euphemism for clean like clean the fucking floors. Oh. Clean the floors on

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the on the deck of the ship. All right let's do it. Okay. Wait what part are you gonna do?

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I'm gonna supervise you. Right supervisor. I'm already uh and Sully takes out a notepad

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that he for sure swiped from moot. Well I probably had an abundance of them after I

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bought the never-ending notebooks. Oh that's true yeah and uh Sully takes out the notebook

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and starts to write down. I've I've already docked you five points. You've docked me five

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you've already docked me five points. Yeah what would what you just do with your voice right

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there I mean that's a lot cooler than the voice you have right now. Remember when you met

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me I drifted into the shadow. Yeah it's less cool when you do it like that uh you've lost

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another five points. You're down ten points. You better hurry up those stairs. How many points

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did I start with? Wouldn't you like to know? I find it motivates a little better when you don't

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know how many points you start with and what's gonna happen. This is like a carriage test where

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you like you they don't tell you how many points you lose until you get to the end and then

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they don't give you your license for 18 goes. That yeah that sounds really difficult

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like some sort of like record or something uh go on swap the boop deck if you make any

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you know more snide remarks I'm gonna deduct another 10 points. All right head back upstairs.

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So uh what's uh what's your business in Tether? Um well we're on like a special mission for the

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king which is sort of part of our like larger destiny to save the world so the king king Fimbar

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yeah yeah they don't get along so well so I hear no that's what we're trying to work on

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that's kind of what we're doing yeah oh that's gonna change wow yeah we're gonna we're gonna

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help with that I thought maybe you were like mercs or monster hunters or something well

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I mean we're not not that a little bit column a little bit column b but in this

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particular case we're mostly just on like bringing family back together and improving

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trade relations and you know just like one of those kind of boat trips yeah yeah no that

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sounds really good you probably get tons of passengers on that kind of that kind of

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mission absolutely yep uh all all trying to bring family back together that's what

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that's what people who sail the high seas are are really out for right lots of backstories

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if you check their sheets are like just trying to bring families back together sailing the high

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seas what uh you're you're like from around here what's your what do you think about

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king Fimbar and like the whole family breakup thing uh it's all just a bunch of little

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it's just siblings going at each other but siblings with a lot of power and armies behind

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them um and land uh that as far as the eye can see fortunately the waters are mostly

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free rain as long as we avoid the pirates and stuff but wait the what the pirates is that is

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that a problem often only if they catch you oh and how fast does this boat go i mean it goes

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pretty quick all right it doesn't go very fast oh we've been boarded before and no one's

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stolen you yet well they did once and yet here you are i brought you back yeah i wonder

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what that says about me oh i think it's part of that whole people on the high seas wanting

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to bring families back together again thing that we were just talking about of course probably

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i was also part of the nautical community so they also probably just really want to make

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sure you're with your um siblings well that makes sense yeah well you know it's probably good

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that i have this if lost return to sign on here but hello that's definitely good you have

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i cannot believe that your brothers and sisters let you wear that yeah it doesn't really say where

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to take me back though it just says if lost return to someone oh i guess dorben was the

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closest one at the time yeah well that's unfortunate yeah well so what you know about

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tether you're going in you have some some information about the city no no nothing no um

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we know we want to talk to calacrist yeah yeah yeah um and i think that is maybe

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it and like they traditionally welcome every boat coming to town at the harbor yes yeah i mean

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you got the paper right that says that you were that we're good yeah i got that yes yeah

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it's got the stamp and seal and all that stuff oh good yeah yeah we'll be fine once we get

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into the harbor there i mean they'll check the papers you'll you'll be on your way there

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so this calacrist lady yeah uh what's she like um she's i mean she's very nice you know

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if you if you stay on her good side she's probably not gonna chop your head off

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oh she does that kind of stuff the whole family it's just part of the power struggle

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you know who can chop off the most heads in a week they had one of those going for a little

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while doesn't sound like my type of contest no it's a very specific type of person that likes

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to run it i mean they haven't done it too much in a while uh you know because it was bad for

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business so lately like i said you know mercenaries and monster hunters have kind of

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been flocking to the area to get jobs really well you know i hope that like we are welcomed

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in there right and i hope that you know she's not gonna see us as some sort of like saboteur

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well hopefully not just to clarify why are monster hunters heading there is there a

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monster problem well there's a big forest there with um there there's a lot of monsters

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in the area with both the land and sea variety uh some big ones some small ones ones that

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climb on rocks right is there any that go both in the land and on oh yeah yeah you gotta watch

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out for those ones because they'll be in the water and you won't see them and then they

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come out of the water as you're not in the water and drag you back in the water oh so

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like a real like peekaboo surprise that's right peekaboo surprise you got it my friend

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hey how how good as swimmers are you three oh i mean pretty good yeah i do okay in the

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water i definitely don't stick like a stone if that's what you're asking oh we should probably

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do some drills while we're out here on the uh in the open sea okay i mean my cardio is pretty

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good swimming's like good low impact exercise so like i i mix it in in my cross training

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nice when i can i mean we're not always around water true well we'll put it on the

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list you know we're going pretty quick now if you jump out now i mean we're going we don't

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want to turn around and come back and get you so next next little uh nap i have uh we

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could probably do that before i have the nap or after how many how many naps uh in a day

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do you take well we're up to six today i think so six just today just today do you feel extra

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tired most of the time yeah it's hard work living on the sea well also you got that

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crazy sleep apnea going on what do you mean well it's like you stop breathing for long

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periods of time glim was ready to do mouth to mouth with you really and not in the sexy way

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and the life saving kind of way yeah i thought you were maybe a goner it looked that way well

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i'm i'm glad you didn't push me off the side of the boat not a goner is that what normally

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happens i mean there's mutiny that happens on a boat if the captain appears deceased i'm sure

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that would be an easy way to just is it still considered a mutiny if the captain's

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i wouldn't think so because he like who are you muting against not not deceased though

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like that's what i'm saying if this is the sleep apnea thing you're talking about right

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right there's apnea right if we had accidentally thrown you overboard because we thought you were

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deceased and then you became deceased and then we were in charge of the boat it would have been

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mutiny by proxy of course yes okay i understand right so jorban what's your story well uh i mean

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i've been sailing the high seas or the sea of shining stars as they say for quite some time

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it was was in the military there for quite a while did my time took some chances and now

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i just i'm a captain for hire is it question sorry is that a low seas yeah well they're shallow waters

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oh so that's what that means yeah i mean i guess you could go underwater too that would be lower

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in the sea the high seas just means it's a deep body of water okay yeah yeah absolutely

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i'm learning so much we're just it's very educational we're creating our own ship boat

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cannon is what we're doing do you is there speaking of is there a cannon on this boat

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to defend against the pirates yep there's a there's a about uh something i put something on this boat

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were you drunk when you did it because sometimes when i'm drunk and i do things i don't remember

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where i put them yeah that's fair sometimes for me when i just think about doing something like

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if i was like oh i gotta put a cannon on this boat but then i don't actually do it

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immediately my brain has already like checked it off the list and then it never gets done

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that's right uh yeah glim just lift that tarp right there in the middle there yeah okay just

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under here yeah and then it reveals a large ballista that's impressive looking can we shoot

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it not right now i mean we only have so many cannon balls ballista balls whatever you want

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to call them that's what we've got we've only got so many how many do we have four wow okay

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okay i suppose that would be bad to waste them yeah is there anything else we can put in to shoot

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how big is the barrel of this can a man fit in here is this like no it'd be like a cannonball

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side yeah like a chicken like on the muppets and shoot chickens out of it do you have a

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chicken with you just have a spare chicken there's one down below this is carla asking

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not glim glim doesn't know the muppets i don't know why when i thought of a cannon

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that's what i pictured sconzo putting chickens yeah 100 i was thinking of the royal canadian air

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farce with their chicken cannon yes i was thinking of chicken run movie where the rooster went in

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the cannon why does this happen so much in pop culture i don't mean to derail the whole podcast

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but chickens and cannons why so many so much representation there must have been a time

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well i think it's a thing right chickens they have wings they can't really fly that much

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sure it's like when people say like there's enough room to swing a cat in here who's swinging

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cats in rooms yeah that one woman in monty python and the whole world

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that's it okay hey uh you're writing a lot of notes there eh oh yeah i have a bunch of stuff

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written down oh i got lost in a good book once oh well which which book was it i'll look

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out i'll look i'll be on the lookout for it took me pages and pages to find my way out

231
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were you inside the book physically yeah i still don't understand is it are you making a joke

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well no i see he holds up his left hand and he's missing two fingers it says where my

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my fingers on my left hand went like paper cuts i tell you oh damn things up and swallowed

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me whole while reading i guess moot you should be careful you do a lot with your

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notes and the paper and yeah i guess i haven't come across one that's tried to eat me yet

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but i'll keep an eye out for sure someone told me later it could have been a mimic uh

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instead of a book oh yeah that makes sense oh that makes a lot of sense yeah yeah so maybe

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not every book just that one book was my favorite book so dorben have you ever been

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married or oh me no no not tied down to the sea area married to the sea the the the ocean

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is my lady as they say as well as you know a few ladies at the ports but mostly the ocean

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right right well that's that's nice do you ever get lonely out here well

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um no yeah stop in i pick up some people the people come

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stop in pick up some people the people come i mean i always got people on here look you're

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you're you're the next you're the next folks okay riding the barge right in we're the people

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from the story right write it in your book someone will read about it i was just going

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to suggest that like when i feel lonely then i talk to my friend bahamut and like i'm never

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really alone even when i'm like totally by myself you know i really always have somebody

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there with me and i was going to sort of offer you some information and some comfort but maybe

249
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it sounds like i mean yeah i know you don't you're not lonely so i guess it's yeah it's

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a long boat ride too i think so glim maybe you want to spread it out a little bit

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don't encourage her hey who's up in the crow's nest did jonathan go up there i thought he

252
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was gonna swap the deck wasn't he supposed to be like minus 70 points what do you mean i'm

253
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swabbing the poop in the deck well it shouldn't be actual anyway so one oh no there's probably

254
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actually poop oh yeah oh why birds oh okay yeah though really the odds of a bird shitting on

255
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your ship quite low i think great big ocean isn't this right i mean if you think about

256
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a bird pooping on you just in the world that's like what one in a billion chance

257
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make a dexterity saving throw there's there's so many other places a bird could take a shit

258
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um oh my god that's a net one but luckily you're a halfling who gets to reroll these

259
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things oh luckily i'm a halfling yeah but is it as funny if i do okay uh i'll roll it

260
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again or if you roll two in a row that is a 23 oh it's a bird shit beside me

261
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now the bird shit's on jonathan oh wow that guy better buy a lottery ticket or something

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that's minus four points jonathan anyways my question as to who was in the crow's nest is

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it seems there's a storm coming up here that nobody pointed out why i didn't know we were

264
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supposed to be watching for a storm what are you doing on the boat then whatever you tell us

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to do captain yeah you didn't tell us to go up there pretty sure i said do exactly what i say

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and i'm saying you should have been watching out for storms okay but you can't really like

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retrofit it like that it's we want to succeed captain so if you can just tell us right

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what you want us to do ahead of time we'll do it great acrobat my way up there yeah sure

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okay oh no uh that's an 11 am i just like dry humping the pole trying to get my way up there

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you can get up there but it's not graceful so you tell me how it goes it's a lot of grappling

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with the main mast and there's a lot of unnecessary hip action as i try to

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typical sully saturday night look at lots of hip action and grappling with the main mast

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look at sully go look he just hops right to there i mean yeah a little less hip there but

274
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just hands hands boy okay you can use your feet too and it's weird inchworm style like i'm like

275
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moving my feet up to reach my hands and then moving my hands up away from my feet it's not

276
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efficient boot should we tell him that there's a ladder i thought he would figure it out to be

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perfectly honest with you but no that's fine that's fine anyways regardless the storm is coming so

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we're gonna have to turn out to sea a little bit here to go around that okay what do you see

279
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up there oh why is the storm coming good job good job captain dorban turns the ship and sully

280
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while you're up there are you actively looking are you sleeping now you're looking now

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now i've curled as a cat wood and do a little ball now while you're up there there's a little

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lucky lou take a peek through and there is uh off on the horizon you see a ship in the

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direction that you have now turned uh uh captain yeah uh there's uh there'd be a ship

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off the main uh front side roger that uh what do you see on the ship uh it's got a it's got a

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a flag on it and the it's a it's a it's a teddy it's a it's a bear it's a teddy bear

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holding up a holding up a trout and in the mouth the mouth of the trout is uh

287
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uh it looks like some no the trout's mouth is open and fireworks are coming out uh-oh

288
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it's the teddy trouters is that are they as friendly as they sound hmm well they were

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oh i think we're gonna have to turn back into the storm here and uh hedge our bets with the

290
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storm what do you say should i stay up here yeah you're fine for now until you get to the

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storm you probably want to come down just keep an eye on that ship while you're up there

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oh okay well we just uh uh drop the set who likes to row oh i love rowing so good perfect

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never really done it but if glim says it's great i'm in yep totally all right uh glim just

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pull that uh rope the other way uh just there's a little release there yep you got it oh okay

295
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yeah yeah uh moot uh just uh cut the jib back the other way there give it to the old uh one two

296
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twirl and uh we'll be rowing our boat hopefully they didn't see us did they see us sully does

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it look like they've turned in our direction uh they are turned in our direction yes all

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right glim we're gonna put that sail right back up moot you're gonna cut the jib and it's

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gonna spin right around watch your head so yeah jonathan you gotta watch your head hey

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and we're gonna just give her a give her a go in the storm here with uh full sails and try not

301
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to get caught oh okay what else should we do should we tie things down everything looks

302
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:08,000
pretty tied down uh yeah if you got anything of great value i'd probably put it below deck

303
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otherwise uh bend over and kiss your butts and hopefully we make it

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it's the metal looks like we made it look how far we've come together

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that's how far we've come to the middle oh yeah it just transitioned right in there then

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i had a different beat going on you did i'm not sure what you're saying i was gonna work

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00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:49,839
patrons in there eventually but uh i blew it yep no that wasn't your fault oh okay no it

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just didn't happen if you can you know it did happen we reached 85 patrons it's happening

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what they said it couldn't be done who said that show me that person jerald i'll fight him

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00:32:03,279 --> 00:32:09,759
fucking jerald every time with this probably shawn too shawn different shawn yeah not that

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00:32:09,759 --> 00:32:14,480
one a different one no not that not that one either other one we've made a lot of shawns like

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00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:20,319
the fourth shawn yeah maybe the fourth shawn all right the one with the hair you know and sure

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and the the one who thought we could never do it that's the one well we showed him didn't we

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00:32:25,039 --> 00:32:30,160
all other shawns are cool except that one you know who you know who you are so what does this

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00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:35,440
mean now that we've done it russ i don't even remember live stream one no we get to do an

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00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:41,360
improv show that's what we get to do that's what we sure do russ is like making death threats

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00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:48,160
that's what happens when we when we reach success is we have to take somebody down

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00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:53,279
well we have to look back and see that's right who was dragging us down throughout this

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00:32:53,279 --> 00:32:58,960
uh carla tell us more yeah for everyone else except that one shawn we've reached our 85

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00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:05,039
patron goal so we're going to do a live improv show where we play a game and you tell us what

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00:33:05,039 --> 00:33:12,480
to do a grocery store help us make decisions and superman give me a big emotion occupation

322
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:20,480
give me a location pineapple so that's what that's what i signed up for except it will be you

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00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:25,680
with the suggestions not us so it'll be better that's much better so we've set the bar so low

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00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:30,720
that when they come in with really good ones it's gonna make us make this whole middle seem

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00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:34,880
like wow well how do they come up with any ideas that's right how do they at all do this on their

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00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:38,560
own that's what you're going to be asking yourself at this improv show we can't that's

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00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:43,519
why we need you so if you uh helped us thank you very much and if you want to take part in

328
00:33:43,519 --> 00:33:48,240
it all all patrons who uh who continue to sign up and help us reach our next goal we'll

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00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:54,000
also get invited to that lovely uh improv show which is on inserting this because well we

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00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:57,200
recorded this a little bit earlier and didn't know the date but still don't know the date so

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00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:01,839
patrons can come vote on the date at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast come join us over there

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00:34:01,839 --> 00:34:05,519
or if you're a patron go vote on the date tell us when you can show up we want as many people

333
00:34:05,519 --> 00:34:09,599
there as possible that date there love that it's gonna be such a great date the best date

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00:34:09,599 --> 00:34:13,920
yep we're we really love it and we're gonna love it when you show up but yeah Patreon.com

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00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:17,760
slash dumb dragon guess you can still join us and come play the game yeah well i mean

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00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:22,640
play the game tell us what to do help us try and be good at this game we've been

337
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:27,360
struggling for so long it's like a choose your own ending almost yeah looking forward to it

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really throw throw throw some throw some monkey wrenches in there throw some wrenches in my

339
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:38,720
tongue got real big all of a sudden i just kind of speak throw some monkey wrenches in it

340
00:34:38,720 --> 00:34:45,360
it's that shawn he cursed your tongue oh no oh my god shawn with a ch we're getting closer

341
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it's not where you think it is either shawn

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exactly all right enjoy the rest of the episode okay bye everybody bye and thank you oh yeah that

343
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:06,800
too thank you guys i couldn't hear is somebody cracking open a case of nuts

344
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:13,120
yep you got it soly it's nuts up there uh just uh check below the the the floorboards

345
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uh yes we're every good captain

346
00:35:19,519 --> 00:35:26,079
pecans that's right some of the best lightly salted eyes are roasted too it's good

347
00:35:29,279 --> 00:35:35,679
you get the sail back up and the other ship does look like it's turned and is now moving

348
00:35:35,679 --> 00:35:39,839
quickly before you sully as you're getting closer you can see more details with the

349
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:46,559
looky-loo and everybody can start to see it come into view it is a large warship that does have

350
00:35:46,559 --> 00:35:52,160
the the flag of a teddy bear with a trout in its mouth and fireworks coming out of it who knew

351
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:58,160
you should have had some idea when you asked me i mean yeah it does seem pretty much right up

352
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:02,559
amy's alley you begin moving at a fair clip the wind from the storm is swirling and it

353
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:11,920
caught the sail and is pulling you into the storm somebody roll me a d20 please 19

354
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:22,799
yeah what yeah it's great it's totally awesome yeah totally awesome yeah it's wicked your

355
00:36:22,799 --> 00:36:28,079
boat's taking on water so it's looking like a pretty strong it might even be boarding on

356
00:36:28,079 --> 00:36:32,719
just your uh your your standard old hurricane there that doesn't sound like we really want to

357
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:37,840
be on a boat for a hurricane do we what does a horse's mane have to do with any i think i have

358
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:42,319
to come down do we do i need to be up here uh well tell us where the where the ship is

359
00:36:42,319 --> 00:36:48,079
pointing that not our ship the other ship it's uh it's about the same direction we're

360
00:36:48,079 --> 00:36:55,279
pointing how those cannons look uh big and a lot more impressive and and girthy than ours

361
00:36:55,280 --> 00:37:01,840
uh she's upgraded okay it's time that we uh head straight in to the hurricane everybody

362
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:06,480
right that was a storm yeah it's just a little storm just a little storm a cane

363
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:13,519
that's all it is don't worry everybody so in order to enter and survive at least part of

364
00:37:13,519 --> 00:37:21,280
this storm we're going to need a check so someone is going to be the captain we're going

365
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:26,080
to say that's probably going to be captain dorban seems like a good idea bold choice

366
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:31,760
someone is going to be the first mate who's going to roll with charisma uh i think that's

367
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:36,880
probably should be glim i yeah i have plus three for first i only have well then it's it should

368
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:41,280
be me i have an even higher okay someone's going to roll with strength for it and be the

369
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:47,040
bosen i have a plus four definitely not me okay and someone's going to be rolling with

370
00:37:47,039 --> 00:37:52,480
wisdom to be the quarter master oh no it's only smart does only have good wisdom no it's

371
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:58,960
minus one how's your charisma versus wisdom my charisma is a plus two okay how's your

372
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:05,920
wisdom and what's your strength minus one okay is wondering why i'm here is an even zero

373
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:10,480
well i mean that's your guy's call let's see what happens amy traditionally a very strong

374
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roller so she's got a minus i think we're in for a lot of okay a lot of great quarter

375
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:25,280
mastering as you get into this storm the uh the tarps begin like waving violently and the sail

376
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really loses its ability to push you in a proper direction captain dorban yells out all right well

377
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:39,199
we made it to the storm now we're gonna have to just let the let the seas take us uh wherever

378
00:38:39,199 --> 00:38:43,519
they take us we're gonna have to drop that sail back down there glim okay so i'm going

379
00:38:43,519 --> 00:38:54,000
to need you to roll with strength uh to beat the storm dc which is a 20 of a typical hurricane

380
00:38:54,000 --> 00:39:02,639
i'm shimmying down well not great i only rolled an eight so that puts us at 12 12

381
00:39:03,599 --> 00:39:08,480
you begin moving quickly and sully you're shimmying down make a dexterity saving throw

382
00:39:08,559 --> 00:39:18,400
please 20 oh wow you managed to hang on as the sail tears free from uh the main mast and like

383
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:25,360
ropes are whipping by you glim you're trying to handle it and get it at least so that it

384
00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:30,079
doesn't fly into the ocean but it slips from your hands and you get like rope burn across

385
00:39:30,079 --> 00:39:35,280
you the the palms of your hands and you see this sail go out and gets churned up into

386
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:40,800
the waves there well that didn't go well no i'm sorry uh i don't know should i do something with

387
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:45,280
the jib i should get that down or i'll just tie it down there moot you got it you got it

388
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:51,280
handled yet glim get maybe go give mood a hand okay yeah sure um i think i think we got it

389
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:58,800
sound very confident you're rolling with charisma very confident i sure am um okay so

390
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:04,640
you're gonna go help moot uh moot you're gonna roll with charisma with advantage because

391
00:40:04,639 --> 00:40:12,559
glim is helping you okay okay dirty 20 on the first one we will keep the dirty 20 all right

392
00:40:12,559 --> 00:40:19,119
so yeah the two of you head over and you're tying this down it like locks into place um just

393
00:40:19,119 --> 00:40:25,440
before it begins to swing back as you crest into another massive wave sully as you are

394
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:32,559
climbing down uh you see the ship and it's gaining pace quickly on you and you see the

395
00:40:32,559 --> 00:40:39,840
cannons at the front of this beginning to move and aim in the direction of your ship oh oh no

396
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:44,079
they're gonna shoot at us they're gonna shoot at us which ones are they shooting at us with

397
00:40:44,079 --> 00:40:48,639
the front ones oh that's the ones they want to bring us in for a little teddy bear hug

398
00:40:48,639 --> 00:40:52,719
huh well i mean you're gonna find out is this anything like that teddy bear picnic

399
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:58,320
i've heard so much about that's exactly it that's what we're gonna find out um they are

400
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:08,559
going to loose both fuck just roll the net 20 yeah uh it was a 23 and a net 20 so

401
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:15,440
and we all die on the high seas we're coming in for a teddy bear half to david jones locker

402
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:26,160
for us check out the low seas two giant spiked torpedoes come flying out they have chains on

403
00:41:26,159 --> 00:41:31,279
the backs of them and they land into the stern of the boat and you hear the wood crunch

404
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:39,599
and then they pull back and the chains tighten and like the tines on this torpedo pull into

405
00:41:40,159 --> 00:41:46,719
the hull of the ship and you feel like a huge lurch as you are beginning to move backwards

406
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:51,679
well you're moving all around but you feel like a constant pull they like grappling hooked

407
00:41:51,839 --> 00:42:00,319
exactly uh i'm up for any bright ideas here uh anybody let's break the chains

408
00:42:00,319 --> 00:42:07,599
you got chain breakers well i have a i have a i have a sort of a frightful reflection

409
00:42:07,599 --> 00:42:10,559
well that sounds like you get scared at yourself when you look in a mirror

410
00:42:10,559 --> 00:42:15,759
sometimes that happens but i can try to attack all right try to attack the chains

411
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:23,040
go try and attack the chains nothing left to lose that is 21 uh okay roll some damage

412
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:33,120
so you can hit it nine damage you run over and you slice into or hit into and like spark

413
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:38,080
a small spark goes off it's quickly extinguished because of all the rain going on

414
00:42:38,079 --> 00:42:45,519
and there's just the the smallest chip out of this heavy duty chain huh

415
00:42:47,039 --> 00:42:49,519
i can't resell this that's damaged

416
00:42:52,319 --> 00:42:59,920
on your boat you have a ballista you also have oars yep that's what you have okay i

417
00:42:59,920 --> 00:43:03,759
hit the chain a little bit i think that was a really good idea what i'm gonna try and do

418
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:10,320
though is is maybe get the break the wood and then they'll come out and then so i'm gonna i'm

419
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:17,040
gonna hit it with my war pick and i see if that i don't know does something hey guys we're rocking

420
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:21,280
back and forth here i got we got the mop can i do something to help what if we all chop at

421
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:27,040
the wood at the same time with a mop together jonathan shut up and go downstairs okay he was

422
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:30,640
pre we're taking it on there's a lot of water down there i'll go see if i can mop it

423
00:43:31,279 --> 00:43:38,319
attaboy 10 points 2024 attack on the roll roll damage roll damage on your floor

424
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:44,719
hoped you hit the floor ten on one of them you you come over and you hit in hard and it it

425
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:50,319
breaks it up and it like half of it splinters out it doesn't come completely free yet but

426
00:43:50,319 --> 00:43:58,400
you see this huge like spiked tying off this torpedo sticking up and out of the boat now hey

427
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:03,119
guys if we can get free get somebody on the ballista there you can fire off at them there's

428
00:44:03,119 --> 00:44:08,720
look i think there's can't quite see but i think there's some fog up there uh and it maybe used

429
00:44:08,720 --> 00:44:12,720
to be an inlet up over in that direction too we could probably pull up and try and lose them

430
00:44:12,720 --> 00:44:17,920
in the fog i'll just keep chopping at the way i want to help okay two of you can continue

431
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:22,320
to chop at the wood tom you didn't look like you wanted to shoot the big gun uh no what i'm

432
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:29,760
gonna do instead um i'm gonna do some magic stuff uh so moot has the ability to twin a spell

433
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:40,960
when he uses his uh meta magic okay so i'm going to twin uh my firebolt because i assume

434
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:44,480
is there just one person operating there like grappling hook guns or is there two

435
00:44:45,199 --> 00:44:52,159
um would you be able to see how many there are i still have the lucky loo uh you can take a look

436
00:44:52,159 --> 00:45:00,480
out the lucky loo um it is a much larger ship than what you are on so it could be assumed

437
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:07,280
that there are more than more people than you have okay more than five more than five if i can

438
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:12,719
make out a couple of the uh like ballistas or whatever it is they're using i'll throw a spell

439
00:45:12,720 --> 00:45:18,960
at uh two of them okay yeah so yeah you would definitely be able to yeah at least target where

440
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:24,560
the the two ballistas are probably not see much else going on on the ship okay so that'll be

441
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:31,040
18 to hit on the first one and 19 hit on the second one and you're aiming at the people not

442
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:36,640
the boat right uh well either the people or like the big guns that they're using okay you

443
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:41,520
could well you could hit either uh with with your eight with your with your hits there

444
00:45:41,519 --> 00:45:46,320
so you tell me what you hit let's go for the people try to scare them off using those

445
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:55,519
then you definitely hit with both of those all right first one a solid two nice yeah uh second

446
00:45:55,519 --> 00:46:01,519
one oh 10 all right describe to me what your spell looks like as it goes off in the storm

447
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:06,559
uh i throw like this uh it's not like a huge fireball or anything but it's a little

448
00:46:07,119 --> 00:46:14,799
little bit of fire and uh yeah it kind of the splash that it causes it probably looks more

449
00:46:14,799 --> 00:46:21,519
impressive than actually the damage that it does but uh and yeah it kind of lights up these people

450
00:46:21,519 --> 00:46:28,079
and their their guns and they dive for cover nice yeah you've knocked them both off and um at

451
00:46:28,079 --> 00:46:35,599
that uh the this there's a little bit more slack in the chain as you are able to connect

452
00:46:35,599 --> 00:46:43,839
with these two spells please roll a d20 way ahead of you all right uh that's a six you're good all

453
00:46:43,839 --> 00:46:48,400
right well that was uh that was pretty cool there uh looks like we got a little bit of leeway here

454
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:53,199
if you two can jimmy those uh those things out of there that'd be great yeah we've got they're

455
00:46:53,199 --> 00:46:59,039
all kind of cleared away so i'm gonna try and just like heave it out heave ho yep i'll take

456
00:46:59,039 --> 00:47:06,480
an oar and try to also help her lift by adding some leverage underneath all right uh roll with

457
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:12,320
so you get to roll with uh advantage and we're gonna roll athletics okay well that was 10 but

458
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:19,759
i'm gonna try again 16 they're heavier than you anticipated now you didn't put all your your back

459
00:47:19,759 --> 00:47:25,519
into it but you managed to get one up and it's like over the edge of the railing at the

460
00:47:25,519 --> 00:47:30,639
back it hasn't gone completely over yet um and out of the corner of your eyes sully you see

461
00:47:30,639 --> 00:47:37,119
the two people that moot shot at with his fireballs um they are standing back up and

462
00:47:37,119 --> 00:47:43,119
trying to get scrambled back to the ballista oh that's not good those guys uh they're being

463
00:47:43,119 --> 00:47:52,079
they're being naughty uh oh crap moot you hit him again oh uh yeah sure i can i can try

464
00:47:52,079 --> 00:47:57,119
again all right first one uh that's a 10 on the first one

465
00:47:59,039 --> 00:48:06,000
oh second one was a nat 20 uh the 10 will go wide on all accounts uh the nat 20 will hit

466
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:07,519
double damage coming at you that

467
00:48:10,319 --> 00:48:18,639
uh wow that is 19 damage nice yeah you launch one off and it hits hard and connects

468
00:48:18,639 --> 00:48:25,920
and like you see it explode any even above the like the cacophony of rain and wind you hear just

469
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:33,920
as they you see someone knocked up and over into the ocean uh the other one you hit a

470
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:38,879
crest of wave and it goes wide glim and sully want to give me one more strength check and

471
00:48:38,879 --> 00:48:44,079
we'll see if we can clear these i will help again d20 oh yeah oh it's a two

472
00:48:45,039 --> 00:48:50,559
okay you roll on percentile we'll see if glim and sully do their thing and then your thing will

473
00:48:50,559 --> 00:48:58,319
trigger okay 17 oh but i should yeah you're rolling advantage oh that was a nat 20 wow oh

474
00:48:58,319 --> 00:49:04,400
yeah see this huge blast go off and you throw one up and then go help sully and throw the

475
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:10,159
other one off um both before as you throw the one off that you first had you feel it

476
00:49:10,159 --> 00:49:15,679
tightening a little bit it was the person that moot missed um and you managed to get it off uh

477
00:49:15,679 --> 00:49:21,839
before it pulls the ship apart again all right how fast can this thing go i mean let's go

478
00:49:21,839 --> 00:49:28,719
hold on we got a we got a wild magic trigger oh give it to me 87 it's a high number

479
00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:35,599
sometimes that means fun oh good so glim's gonna be one dorben's gonna be two

480
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:44,319
uh sully's gonna be three and jonathan's gonna be four roll a d4 for me oh okay

481
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:52,000
it's less fun when we're at risk three that's me sully begins to fly

482
00:49:54,079 --> 00:50:02,639
oh what the hell can you i have you always been able to do that no i this isn't this this isn't

483
00:50:02,639 --> 00:50:11,519
cool the ship continues moving and sully is flying oh no uh uh uh and i i take my staff

484
00:50:11,519 --> 00:50:16,319
out of its holder and put it forward for someone to grab don't let me float away

485
00:50:16,319 --> 00:50:22,960
don't you fucking let me throw away i'm gonna try and grab him uh make a dexterity saving throw

486
00:50:23,599 --> 00:50:31,359
or uh it would be a saving throw it would just be a straight dex check check is 13 glim glim

487
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:39,760
glim can i help out with that i would say yeah you can you can assist so giving glim advantage

488
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:44,480
this is not okay i haven't told you if it's succeeded or not yet okay

489
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:49,039
grab me with you let me have advantage grab me with your lobster claw

490
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:56,559
help he is flailing just like well comedically in the air

491
00:50:57,119 --> 00:51:03,920
chase jay swim in the air should i carla you can roll once more not much better

492
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:09,840
it's not what was the last time 13 so yeah it's 14 this time perfect it's like you you go to

493
00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:14,639
grab one and it just slips out and then you reach up with your other hand and it also

494
00:51:14,639 --> 00:51:21,039
uh even with moot like holding on to the back of your shirt trying to reach over so sully's

495
00:51:21,119 --> 00:51:28,639
suspended in air over this churning a hurricane as the ship is doing its best to move towards

496
00:51:28,639 --> 00:51:33,440
this inlet that you can now see coming into view but breaking through this fog which fog

497
00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:36,800
is weird in a hurricane i don't know if anybody wanted to point that out but

498
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:54,560
is weird are your hands covered in butter

499
00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:16,560
so

500
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:27,360
tumjins and dragons season 2 episode 87 starring Amy More as sully carla max that is glim tom

501
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:32,560
layered as moot and rust more is your dungeon master editing production and sound design by

502
00:52:32,639 --> 00:52:37,840
rust More this episode featured music from Kavin mcleod and epidemic sound and sound effects from

503
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:42,960
epidemic sound boom library and sound ideas a huge thank you to our supporting producers

504
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:48,239
gabriel lynch jessica Babyok mark heartless stevie cat water flame jacob madden christian

505
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:53,279
brown devin michaels erin stevens eric hulahan and ray serbeck to support tumjins

506
00:52:53,279 --> 00:52:58,239
and dragons and help us reach 85 patrons within our community unlocking a live streamed

507
00:52:58,240 --> 00:53:04,240
improvised game as well as access to an exclusive podcast bonus episodes and much more please join

508
00:53:04,240 --> 00:53:09,440
our Patreon at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast you can also follow us at facebook.com

509
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:14,240
slash dumb dragon podcast and on instagram and twitter at dumb dragon cast thank you for

510
00:53:14,240 --> 00:53:16,800
listening you have a great week and we'll talk again soon

511
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:20,880
uh

512
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:28,880
and they land into the back uh uh fuck's the back port no starter stern stern stern

513
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:32,880
stern bow's the front yeah you gotta know your boat terms here carla fill me in right

514
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:39,760
i'm a boater now guys uh are you ready for the number one uh no oh my god wild magic

515
00:53:40,720 --> 00:53:44,560
surge table that's not how you spell table

516
00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:53,280
guys i'm trying my best to sneak as many nautical puns into this episode as possible

517
00:53:54,720 --> 00:54:00,800
i just don't know enough about boats and they're in imperceptible with sully's accent

518
00:54:02,800 --> 00:54:06,240
because like i'm trying to use like nautical words and like switch them but

519
00:54:06,240 --> 00:54:10,880
Dumbgeons and dragons is a dumb dragons production