[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.3s] Do you know how Aurel escaped the fate of the other gods?
[7.0s] Maybe the Brotherhood has more information. Most of us just are thankful,
[11.5s] but her power seems to be waning as well. She looks up and says, oh, Thea and friends.
[18.5s] Macath, some things don't change.
[20.9s] I seek the gods. I seek my god, who I thought abandoned us.
[29.7s] If you find the gods, they will be able to help undo what Orcus has done.
[39.4s] But you have no further insight from all your hundreds of mages.
[45.6s] We know where they are not.
[46.7s] It is more than I had before.
[48.9s] We need to decide what we will do, how we survive without using magic.
[55.0s] Use it when it matters.
[56.9s] How long is it going to take us to find the gods?
[59.5s] But how do we say that getting back to Flint to do a ritual that might not even work
[65.9s] is worth the whole world?
[68.0s] I think we also seek the gods.
[71.4s] Good. Four swords better than one.
[77.5s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
[80.7s] He, him also with me today is Amy More.
[84.1s] Yes, she, her, and I am playing Thea Amastasia. Also, she, her.
[89.0s] And Tom Laird.
[90.6s] Yeah, that's me, he, him, and I am playing Tulgier, who also goes by he, him.
[95.0s] And Carla Maxted.
[97.0s] She, her, playing Yenbul Nury, who also goes by she, her.
[101.4s] And joining us again this week, because we just can't get enough,
[104.2s] it's Kristin Flemmons from the Broad Swords.
[106.6s] Can't get rid of me.
[109.0s] Hi.
[109.7s] We did not try to.
[111.8s] Tricked you into coming back against your will.
[114.0s] You think it's your idea.
[116.2s] You know, that's a, that's a mind twist that I'm okay with.
[121.3s] But yes, I will once again be playing Agath, god-lost,
[124.6s] Cathlo Olavi.
[126.6s] I think I screwed up my own name, but both she and I go by she, her.
[130.5s] Goliaths are tough.
[133.5s] Sometimes it gets smooth and then other times it's like, just call me,
[137.0s] just call me A.
[141.3s] Just go with Lady A, that name's never been used before.
[144.5s] Never, not once.
[145.7s] No, no, it's all good.
[147.8s] Where we have another Goliath is over on Patreon.
[150.0s] Amy plays that Goliath in another game.
[152.9s] And I mean, secondary character to some of the other characters.
[156.6s] But we'll come over.
[158.5s] Wow, that's how we're starting this.
[162.7s] So that's the kind of energy Russ brings when he's a player,
[165.5s] if you'd like to hear that game where Tom is a very kind and nice DM.
[172.2s] That's right.
[173.3s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, where when you are a patron,
[175.6s] you get an episode dedicated to you.
[176.9s] Like today's patron, Deej Deman.
[180.7s] Deej Deman.
[181.8s] Deej.
[182.3s] That's right.
[182.9s] Thanks, Deej.
[183.6s] Awesome.
[184.2s] I feel like I'm on an episode of Full House.
[185.8s] Thanks, Deej.
[188.3s] Amazing.
[188.9s] Yep.
[190.0s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[191.6s] And now, fuck it, let's play.
[193.0s] Your group has been in Bryn Shander for three days now,
[205.5s] poring over the notebooks of the Arkane Brotherhood.
[208.6s] You spent time with Macoth, tracing over the previous explorers'
[211.8s] maps and writings, trying to piece together where the gods have been hidden or locked away.
[218.0s] We hear Macoth speak.
[220.5s] Luskin was a stronghold.
[223.0s] Much like Waterdeep was.
[225.4s] Orcus's forces, for a long time, could not break the barriers set up by the Brotherhood.
[231.4s] We created a barrier, much like the one that looms
[234.5s] low now over the top of what remains of Icewind Dale.
[239.2s] This was before we truly knew the gods were gone and that our efforts were for nothing.
[246.8s] In the coming months, the barrier we were able to maintain got smaller and smaller.
[252.0s] We couldn't explain why.
[253.8s] Nothing had changed.
[255.6s] The spells were the same, our focus had waned marginally,
[259.8s] but we had enough wizards to create a rotation.
[263.8s] We thought it had to be an external force,
[266.1s] something that Orcus and his followers were employing beyond our walls.
[271.9s] Then death began creeping in.
[275.6s] Seemingly beneath the barrier, trees and animals on our side began to die.
[281.5s] Then people, healthy people, began to drop for no reason.
[287.3s] One day they were helping the cause, the next they would cease to be living.
[294.3s] Until they started to rise again.
[299.8s] You don't know the fear until you're staring down a hideous enemy with an endless supply
[305.6s] of creatures only to have your own turn into that which you are fighting on your own side
[311.9s] of the wall.
[314.0s] We didn't know what to do.
[315.2s] We locked up in the tower with as many people as we could and blew the bridge.
[318.6s] We lost so many.
[321.5s] We could have saved more if only there was more time.
[324.7s] We were shaken and lost focus.
[326.9s] The walls came down and we were overrun.
[330.6s] We narrowed our focus to protect the tower and now that it was closer,
[334.7s] we could see the damage beyond.
[336.3s] The fields of death, the forests gone, the rivers and ocean blackened.
[340.7s] Orcus was winning and we were the ones helping him.
[345.6s] We couldn't explain it.
[347.3s] Magic draws from the land and the land is replenished by the gods.
[351.5s] But when the gods were called, there was no answer.
[356.4s] Did they leave us?
[357.6s] Move on to another world that was in better shape?
[360.2s] That was filled with more hope?
[361.9s] Or were they trapped?
[365.3s] We heard of a refuge here in Icewind Dale.
[369.8s] A god remained.
[372.2s] Aurel remained.
[374.2s] Her own paranoia saved her.
[376.2s] She was shielded by the blizzards of Icewind Dale and Orcus's followers
[380.3s] couldn't find any towns let alone a god hidden within the storms.
[385.0s] We came any way we could.
[387.4s] Many were lost in the trek across Faerun and as we still are,
[392.3s] we were scared to teleport or use any magic
[395.8s] for fear of furthering Orcus's plans.
[398.6s] It took months of travel to finally make it.
[402.6s] We were less than half the number we were when we started but thankful to arrive.
[408.3s] The blizzards parted and led us here to Bryn Shander.
[411.9s] We've been here ever since.
[415.8s] Orl could sense the gods had left the world
[419.7s] but that they were still within reach.
[421.8s] Not abandoned but imprisoned.
[424.6s] Shrouded in a cloud of evil and death that she could not break through.
[429.8s] Orl's powers are fading as well.
[433.8s] The last known god fueling the entire world.
[437.8s] The blizzard stopped and she diverted her energy to the barrier you came through
[442.1s] which gets smaller every day.
[445.4s] We began sending out scouts and wizards and explorers
[448.6s] to try and find any sign of the gods or the place they could be kept.
[453.1s] And so far nothing has turned up.
[456.4s] We are down to only a few of our original number.
[459.7s] Traveling through the plains of course is a dangerous task
[463.4s] and what we found is that it is as unforgiving as it is here within the material plane
[468.6s] as Orcus's reach extends throughout all known realms
[472.3s] and the more life that is lost the more power he gains.
[475.4s] We've received reports back from all the planes except these four.
[480.7s] Avernus, Pandemonium, Carceri, and Limbo.
[487.0s] But everywhere we've been the rulers have changed.
[491.6s] Demon lords have been given control of the planes
[495.9s] and present even more chaos than what could already be expected.
[500.6s] Well, I'm so sorry for everyone you've lost.
[513.0s] I have to say it's a little demoralizing hearing of this,
[523.4s] but I mean we're here to help in any way we can.
[535.4s] So tell us about Limbo.
[540.3s] It sounds like the four worst places.
[543.4s] So Pandemonium, that can't be good.
[547.0s] Limbo, I mean-
[548.2s] There's just a lot going on in Pandemonium.
[549.9s] Yeah. What was the other? Avernus?
[553.9s] Avernus and Carceri.
[557.0s] Limbo is a plane of pure chaos.
[561.1s] You could call it a roiling soup of impermanent matter and energy.
[566.9s] Neat. How on earth does one find a god in a place like that?
[570.8s] This has been the problem.
[572.6s] Right. Have you tried tying a rope onto someone and then sending them in?
[577.1s] Travel between all of these places happens through the astral plane.
[585.0s] I was just trying to lighten the mood. It's not a serious suggestion.
[590.8s] Shall I go on?
[592.6s] Yes, can you please tell us about the other planes?
[596.3s] Well, it doesn't get better if that's what you're hoping for.
[599.1s] Pandemonium is a plane of madness,
[602.6s] a great mass of rock riddled with tunnels carved by howling winds.
[608.4s] It's cold and noisy and dark with no natural light there.
[617.9s] Well, that one does sound quite bad.
[620.2s] Now, Carceri is a model for all other prisons in existence.
[627.4s] It's a plane of desolation and despair and holds layers of vast bogs and fetid jungles
[636.4s] and deserts and jagged mountains surrounded by frigid oceans and black ice.
[643.1s] I mean, I feel like that's probably the one we're going to need to go to.
[646.6s] Would it be too literal to imprison the gods in a prison plane?
[652.6s] Okay, all right.
[654.1s] Macoth, what has been your experience of Orcus and his humor? Is he always so on the nose?
[662.3s] He hasn't shown a great amount of humor.
[666.6s] You know, sometimes the evildoers do tricks.
[673.1s] I understand a lighter foe might throw a gaff or a guffaw.
[682.1s] A quick pun.
[683.0s] A quick yes.
[685.0s] But no, just constant unending stream of undead.
[689.9s] Death. Yeah.
[693.2s] Great, great.
[694.6s] And Avernus, one of the harder ones to get to,
[698.0s] as we can't get to it through a planar portal,
[702.1s] we'd have to find a way to enter the nine hells.
[707.4s] Which hell is Avernus out of the nine, if you were to rank it from one to nine?
[712.0s] Number one.
[713.8s] Okay, wait, number one, like it's the best hell or it's the first hell?
[717.4s] And is best the worst or is worst the best?
[721.9s] Or is it the first one you can get to?
[724.3s] It's very bad.
[725.3s] Is it a layered, like a layered cake?
[728.3s] What layer would it be?
[729.0s] Were we going right to the bottom of the cake?
[731.8s] Okay, how bad would it be if you went to Avernus and you ran into Tiamat?
[737.8s] Because Tiamat is there.
[739.7s] Or at least was there.
[740.9s] I don't know if she remains.
[743.0s] I mean, she probably wouldn't be thrilled to see this one.
[746.2s] They have a bit of history, it'd be quite bad.
[753.1s] Quite bad.
[755.0s] Awkward could be a description?
[758.1s] Really awkward?
[759.8s] I don't know.
[761.2s] Your relationship with her?
[762.8s] I mean, I know you.
[763.7s] I mean, they didn't date or anything.
[765.3s] I don't think.
[765.9s] No, she just killed my best friend.
[768.8s] No big deal.
[769.4s] Yes, exactly.
[771.7s] Yeah, yeah, soup's awkward.
[775.0s] Okay, well, I don't want to go to Avernus if we could just,
[777.4s] like, because I mean, we can't go everywhere, right?
[780.0s] So if we could just knock one off the list for now.
[782.6s] Leave it till last.
[784.7s] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[787.5s] I like your optimism.
[789.0s] We will get through three others.
[791.0s] I mean, hey, we could get lucky.
[793.3s] First one we go to, we could, you know, get it rich
[796.2s] and then not have to go to the other three.
[798.5s] That is an option.
[799.4s] Yeah, that's a possibility.
[802.1s] I hope that's the case for you.
[804.6s] I also don't like the sound of pandemonium.
[809.8s] Dark, unending caves, madness, cold, also noisy.
[815.4s] This sounds very bad.
[818.1s] I don't have dark vision.
[820.7s] That sucks.
[822.3s] So not my first choice.
[827.3s] Why don't we go for the obvious prison?
[830.8s] Yes, perhaps Orcus is evil, but not imaginative.
[835.0s] Perhaps.
[835.7s] So you would like to go to Corsairi?
[837.2s] No, we wouldn't like to go to any of these places.
[838.9s] I don't really think a like is...
[840.8s] That would be stretching it.
[842.5s] Yes.
[843.4s] Your wish is to start your search in Corsairi.
[849.0s] Have you sent anyone else to Corsairis or Corsairin?
[854.4s] I keep saying Corsairi.
[856.7s] Corsairi.
[857.9s] So neither.
[859.2s] No.
[860.1s] Okay.
[861.4s] It's mystery option C.
[862.8s] You did not list.
[864.4s] Yes.
[865.4s] Have you sent others to Corsairi?
[868.2s] Yes.
[869.2s] Yes, there was a band of wizards we sent and have yet to hear from.
[874.3s] How big is this band?
[877.0s] Standard Five, Lead Singer, Couple Backup Dancer.
[880.9s] You've got the cute young one.
[883.0s] You've got the blonde one.
[884.8s] The blonde one.
[886.5s] You've got the smart one.
[887.0s] The one that is like weirdly older than the rest of them.
[889.5s] Exactly.
[890.9s] Exactly.
[892.4s] One was about to go solo, but you know, we brought them back in.
[896.2s] One all the girls fall for, but he's not into them.
[902.9s] And Justin Timberlake is there.
[907.4s] How did you know?
[912.6s] Sorry.
[913.8s] How many wizards did you send?
[915.7s] Three.
[917.0s] Three wizards.
[918.9s] So it was more of a trio then.
[920.2s] Three.
[920.6s] It was three.
[922.4s] Yes.
[923.0s] So more of a trio than a band.
[925.0s] Yeah.
[925.4s] Yeah.
[925.8s] Your humor is going to serve you well.
[929.6s] Maybe why I'm still alive today.
[932.5s] Just because the world is all darkness and terror doesn't mean you can't try to find
[937.4s] a little humor.
[938.3s] Maybe every time I laugh an undead thing dies for real.
[943.5s] This seems unlikely.
[945.0s] Well, I choose to believe it.
[946.4s] How long have the wizards been gone?
[949.3s] They've been gone for nine months.
[953.3s] In my head, I was like two years.
[954.9s] Much longer than I thought you were going to say.
[956.4s] So they are unlikely to still be alive.
[958.3s] Oh, but we can hope.
[959.4s] The plane in and of itself is, we don't know much beyond what I've told you,
[966.6s] if time passes differently or...
[969.5s] Oh, God, you guys, we could end up being in there for like two days
[972.5s] and it's another 10 years.
[973.7s] Ross, don't even fucking do it.
[976.0s] I haven't written that down until right now.
[977.9s] Don't write it down.
[978.7s] It was my idea.
[979.7s] Get your own ideas.
[980.7s] Stop it.
[983.7s] If there's another time jump, I quit podcast.
[989.2s] Carlos out.
[992.3s] I have a question though.
[994.0s] I don't entirely know how the whole gods and magic thing worked.
[997.4s] I just kind of assumed as a druid that...
[1001.0s] Nature was its own magic, but if it is truly that gods essentially fuel the world,
[1009.7s] are they fueling our plane?
[1012.1s] Are they fueling all planes?
[1015.3s] Have the gods exited this plane?
[1017.7s] There isn't enough so that we can't feel it.
[1020.4s] So luckily we've got Oral just right here.
[1023.5s] If we get to another plane and I use magic there,
[1028.3s] am I going to be able to tell if the magic's going to be replenished?
[1033.0s] And if so, doesn't that mean the gods are on that plane?
[1037.4s] Yes, this is a brilliant question.
[1039.1s] Thank you.
[1040.2s] The experiences we've had from the wizards who've returned is that when casting,
[1047.1s] if there is life remaining in the planes or any form of life, it too leaves.
[1057.4s] So we have yet to confirm that theory.
[1067.0s] Right, because you have not found the gods on a plane yet, so you don't know what will happen.
[1072.6s] But doesn't that kind of answer my question a little bit?
[1075.2s] Like a god has to be on a plane in order for them to replenish the magic?
[1081.1s] Gods don't live generally.
[1083.4s] Oral is an anomaly.
[1088.6s] Oh, okay.
[1089.8s] That part I didn't understand.
[1091.6s] Okay, so they're captured and their powers are
[1096.6s] dampened or hindered, regardless of where they are.
[1100.7s] Okay, well, I mean, it was a fair idea.
[1103.6s] It was such a good idea.
[1104.7s] I thought we could just go to plane, dip in, do a quick spell.
[1109.0s] Well, they're not here.
[1110.8s] Maybe someone didn't think of it.
[1111.9s] The gods have been known to visit and stir, but they don't reside here.
[1120.8s] They live within their own planes.
[1123.8s] Bahamut and Celestia, many of the devils and greater demons in the Abyss or Avernus,
[1132.5s] all within separate levels of existence.
[1136.9s] Hence what makes them so powerful to be gods that they can impact other planes from other planes.
[1144.3s] I'm learning so much, you guys.
[1146.2s] So how does one travel to Karsari?
[1151.7s] We would send you through a portal to the astral plane.
[1159.0s] There you would travel through the astral plane until you found a portal pool.
[1167.0s] That would lead you to Karsari.
[1169.8s] They are color-coded for convenience.
[1173.0s] Olive is the color you're looking for for Karsari.
[1176.3s] Now, traditionally, we were not supposed to eat before we go in pools.
[1180.3s] Is that still the case for these ones?
[1182.6s] It's not as if you're swimming, more transferring through.
[1189.3s] The reaction to teleportation is different for all, some experience nausea.
[1195.4s] So if you're concerned about that, maybe pack a snack and eat it once you arrive.
[1199.9s] Okay, will do.
[1201.7s] I mean, should we get this show on the road?
[1204.1s] Just one more question.
[1205.8s] Were you being sarcastic about the color-coding?
[1208.6s] No, they are actually color-coded.
[1211.1s] Okay, this is good to know.
[1213.2s] When we come back, we go the same way we arrived?
[1219.1s] We'll go back to astral plane?
[1221.4s] Yes.
[1221.8s] And what color is this pool?
[1224.2s] Is silver.
[1225.2s] Material plane is silver.
[1226.9s] And what about the other?
[1228.3s] In case we go, we don't need to come back here every time.
[1231.0s] If we go, we don't find.
[1232.8s] The color of limbo is jet black.
[1237.4s] Pandemonium is magenta.
[1241.4s] Karsari is olive, and as we have said,
[1244.2s] Avernus has no way to travel to it through the astral plane.
[1248.8s] At least we can't accidentally end up in hell.
[1254.2s] No, no, you can't, not Avernus.
[1258.8s] Not through a pool, Amy, not through a pool.
[1261.8s] You should know there are 18 total planes of existence
[1265.4s] other than the material plane.
[1267.0s] I feel like I'm really holding it all together with this,
[1269.2s] but is this blowing anyone else's mind?
[1272.2s] It is a lot to take in and learn.
[1277.2s] I feel like since we've returned from the pyramid,
[1283.8s] the world has gotten about 400,000 times more complicated.
[1288.6s] Anyone missing the pyramid right now?
[1291.5s] Actually, by anybody.
[1292.6s] It's just you, Yenbil, I guess.
[1294.8s] Well, I mean, yeah, the last 10 years
[1296.3s] weren't so great outside of that pyramid.
[1299.6s] Pyramid had the best bathrooms.
[1302.1s] I can't even explain this bathroom.
[1304.2s] It was incredible.
[1305.3s] I would like you to try explaining the bathroom.
[1308.4s] There was a fireplace, for one.
[1310.2s] In the bathroom.
[1311.8s] Yes, that seems excessive.
[1313.8s] Beautiful music.
[1314.8s] It was very large.
[1315.8s] Smelled like, what was it?
[1317.6s] Freshly baked cookies.
[1320.3s] It was incredible.
[1321.8s] It's perhaps the best room I have ever been in
[1324.2s] in all of my travels.
[1326.1s] And this was all for a bathroom?
[1327.9s] Yes.
[1328.2s] Yeah, I think of that bathroom often.
[1330.3s] Sounds like a fancy pyramid.
[1332.5s] Yeah, it was.
[1334.9s] Well, I'm just trying not to freak out
[1336.6s] about all the different worlds who,
[1338.8s] apparently, Orcus has his paw in every single one of them.
[1343.0s] Yeah, you could say that.
[1344.6s] Are there no other bad gods who are not happy about this?
[1351.1s] Well, it is our understanding that
[1354.9s] the quote unquote bad gods are also missing.
[1360.9s] Oh.
[1362.3s] Well, fuck.
[1364.0s] So it was like he went out and gathered them all up.
[1366.2s] I was kind of hoping the enemy of my enemy
[1369.4s] situation, but he just took everyone who was equal
[1374.3s] or more powerful than him and just rounded them up.
[1377.1s] Yeah, it seems he promoted various demon lords
[1382.8s] to control the different planes.
[1387.3s] We don't know who controls the four
[1391.0s] that you are intending to go to.
[1393.2s] Oh, I have some hopes.
[1396.0s] Okay.
[1397.5s] Mm-hmm.
[1399.6s] Care to share with the class?
[1401.6s] Old friend, Lipsinki.
[1403.8s] Is Lipsinki a demon lord?
[1406.2s] Sort of.
[1406.7s] She was really moving up in the ranks.
[1408.7s] Oh.
[1409.8s] Yeah.
[1410.7s] I can't say I've heard of a demon lord Lipsinki.
[1414.1s] Yet.
[1415.5s] Yet.
[1415.9s] When she puts her mind to something,
[1418.2s] she really gets a job done.
[1419.7s] But, you know, friendly face, I don't know.
[1424.9s] Would a goth's horse Rax be able to join us?
[1429.7s] Yes.
[1432.3s] Hey, Donnie, you want to come with?
[1434.7s] I'm giving you the option, buddy.
[1436.2s] I don't think it'd be fair for me to just take you in my purse.
[1439.4s] Yeah, what am I going to do here?
[1440.7s] Like just sit and wait for this little dome
[1442.7s] to come down and crush me?
[1443.8s] No, let's go have some fun.
[1445.1s] I'll sting some demon lords.
[1446.4s] It'll be great.
[1447.6s] Really, you're going to sting some demon lords?
[1449.6s] Yeah, absolutely.
[1450.9s] Oh, you're such a big boy.
[1452.5s] Kids got moxie.
[1453.6s] Get me close to the shorts or right up the pants.
[1455.6s] It'll be good.
[1457.5s] As you all know, demon lords wear shorts.
[1461.5s] Well, cargo shorts, obviously.
[1463.3s] All the time.
[1464.0s] The most evil of attire.
[1467.1s] They're very convenient, though, is what I hear.
[1470.6s] White tank tops, cargo shorts.
[1472.1s] That's what they are wearing.
[1474.3s] It is the official uniform.
[1476.4s] You're telling me they got mullets, too?
[1477.5s] Tall white socks, sandals.
[1480.4s] White running shoes.
[1481.4s] Oh, sandals.
[1482.5s] Even more evil.
[1483.5s] Very stylish.
[1486.7s] You can sting anyone you see looking like that.
[1488.9s] Great.
[1489.3s] You don't even need to ask first, just go for it.
[1490.9s] Well, Tokyo's got cargo shorts on.
[1493.0s] Oh, yeah, but look, no white tank top.
[1495.6s] Oh, no sandals.
[1498.8s] All right.
[1499.1s] It's hard to adventure in sandals.
[1503.0s] Closed-toed shoes.
[1504.5s] Oh, yes.
[1505.1s] Recommended.
[1506.4s] OHS will be all over your ass.
[1510.2s] You wear those closed-toed shoes.
[1512.3s] OK.
[1512.8s] I think we're all in agreement, albeit freaked out,
[1516.8s] about all these different realms.
[1519.9s] Does everyone know about it and nobody talks about it?
[1522.7s] Is this what?
[1524.5s] We did not learn about this in Calumport.
[1527.1s] Is it just magical folk?
[1528.7s] I consider myself magical folk,
[1530.2s] but I'm not a book learner in magical folk.
[1532.2s] But do you just?
[1533.9s] Well, higher-level educators and those that spend time
[1539.2s] looking beyond our world.
[1543.9s] I feel like this should be something taught to children,
[1546.7s] yes?
[1548.2s] That there are roiling prison worlds?
[1552.6s] No, that there are 19 planes and here's the one you live on.
[1556.7s] Well, I mean, just so that that way,
[1558.5s] if they're trying to save the world,
[1560.2s] this information doesn't come as a shortcut.
[1561.9s] It's quite like a reeling right now.
[1564.1s] I'm really trying to keep it together.
[1565.1s] I feel like I knew, you know, about a few.
[1567.9s] Astral material, but not the abyss, et cetera, et cetera.
[1572.3s] I feel like I had a handful and there's like
[1574.5s] so many more than a handful.
[1575.9s] Is there anyone that has a ridiculous name?
[1578.4s] Oh, good question.
[1580.8s] Anything funny?
[1581.6s] Yeah, anything we could maybe turn into a little bit of a joke.
[1584.6s] You want me to just run down them?
[1587.1s] Is this like just we want to learn all of the planes right now?
[1591.6s] Well, if you can't parse it to pick the joke up, I guess.
[1596.0s] And there's the beast lands.
[1597.5s] That one's not really funny.
[1599.7s] There's Arcadia.
[1601.4s] Arcadia is a good one.
[1602.8s] I mean, pandemonium is pretty like on the nose
[1606.3s] for as far as like what it is.
[1609.1s] Yeah, it seems a little too like obvious on that one.
[1611.5s] Mechanus, you know.
[1612.8s] Yeah, that unfamiliar.
[1614.3s] Ysgard.
[1615.3s] I mean, there's none that's like, whoo, that's a zinger.
[1619.5s] Okay, it's too bad.
[1621.3s] Yeah, we'll work on that for next time.
[1623.8s] Yeah, a missed opportunity when naming the plane.
[1626.9s] I'd like to learn more about, there's got to be nice ones, right?
[1629.9s] Where I mean, we're only focused.
[1631.1s] Yeah, yeah, no, no.
[1632.7s] The ones you're going to are the more chaotic planes there.
[1635.8s] I mean, Mechanus is a very lawful plane.
[1638.7s] Order is pivotal and key there.
[1643.1s] And there's, you know, ranges on all sides of the spectrum.
[1648.0s] Does anyone need to rest up or heal up or?
[1650.7s] I mean, you've been there for three days.
[1652.3s] Oh, it's been three days, guys.
[1653.9s] Never mind, let's go.
[1655.9s] Yeah, let's set up this prison world.
[1657.8s] Let's go.
[1658.4s] All right, she hands each of you a belt with potions on it.
[1662.8s] You each receive a potion of water breathing, fire breathing.
[1667.6s] What?
[1669.8s] Okay, sorry.
[1673.8s] You know, when you're just so stupid for a second that you just really,
[1677.7s] you just can't even with yourself at this moment, like water breathing,
[1680.7s] got it, breathing under water, fire breathing.
[1682.6s] When would I ever have to breathe in fire?
[1684.9s] And I was like, oh, no, you breathe out fire, Amy.
[1687.2s] And then I just was really disappointed in myself.
[1690.7s] Breathing in fire, to be perfectly honest with you.
[1693.1s] Am I swimming through flames and I need to breathe the flames?
[1696.6s] Because if so, I think I'd rather want my body to be protected.
[1700.6s] Is it breathing fire?
[1702.7s] I was right the first way.
[1704.3s] Yeah.
[1704.8s] No.
[1705.9s] Yeah.
[1706.6s] Really?
[1707.1s] Yeah.
[1707.6s] Well, then I was way too hard on myself.
[1709.8s] Amy, I'm sorry.
[1713.6s] Really?
[1714.3s] Yeah.
[1716.2s] I don't think it exists anywhere.
[1717.5s] So just, you know, make a note.
[1719.3s] Okay. I'm going to just trust people who have this written down.
[1721.9s] I'm Amy. I don't take notes.
[1723.5s] Yeah.
[1724.7s] A potion of heat resistance, poison immunity, and acid.
[1730.6s] Oh, good. Poison and acid.
[1732.1s] Yeah. Well, they're two different things, obviously.
[1734.3s] And all grant you the ability to breathe in atmospheres that require such a potion,
[1741.6s] but also grant you resistance to damages incurred from those.
[1746.8s] Oh. Oh, guys, it's going to be brutal.
[1751.3s] If he's giving us a boon like that, this is not going to go well.
[1754.5s] Okay.
[1755.0s] It's not going to be great.
[1755.8s] No, it's not.
[1756.3s] It's not going to be good.
[1756.9s] Oh, dear.
[1758.4s] Yeah.
[1758.9s] Okay.
[1759.5s] All possible.
[1760.9s] Lakoth leads you to what looked to be like a community hall
[1766.1s] that they've turned into more of like base of operations.
[1769.9s] In the center, there's a giant drawn out runic transportation circle.
[1779.5s] She leads you to the center of this circle.
[1782.5s] So it's a star gate.
[1783.5s] It's a star gate.
[1785.0s] Exactly.
[1785.8s] Yep.
[1787.6s] She leads you to the center of this circle.
[1790.3s] Make sure, you know, it kind of checks your belt.
[1792.7s] Make sure you got all the potions you need.
[1794.8s] Is there anything else that you guys think you might want before you go?
[1798.3s] I don't know, man.
[1798.9s] We're so outmatched.
[1799.8s] Like, what could we?
[1800.5s] Okay.
[1801.0s] Let's just give it a shot.
[1802.6s] All right.
[1804.1s] Probably can't even use magic.
[1805.5s] So there's me and Amy out of helpfulness.
[1808.6s] We'll see what happens.
[1809.3s] You can use magic.
[1811.8s] Use it wisely.
[1812.7s] Yeah. One of us could probably die.
[1815.9s] Yeah, exactly.
[1817.6s] Sorry, Tallgear.
[1818.7s] Breaking case of emergency magic situation.
[1821.0s] I really needed barber skin.
[1830.7s] Just had to have it.
[1831.9s] All right, here we go.
[1839.9s] Hey, it's the middle.
[1841.2s] So pickles and peanut butter sandwich.
[1843.1s] Yay or nay?
[1843.9s] Oh, never had it.
[1844.7s] Not brave enough.
[1845.7s] Seems not good, even just like texture.
[1851.0s] It seems like it's got a lot going on.
[1853.0s] I feel like the pickles would be too wet.
[1854.3s] Yeah, that's what I agree.
[1855.7s] Yeah, it seems.
[1856.3s] Well, they'd slip right out because peanut butter notoriously slippery.
[1860.4s] Yeah, but I don't know.
[1861.1s] You go to peanut butters and banana.
[1863.1s] Yeah, but banana has some stick.
[1866.6s] Other than the shape, I'm not sure that pickles and bananas
[1871.1s] have a lot in common to make it like,
[1873.3s] well, we make peanut butter banana sandwiches.
[1876.0s] Fair.
[1876.4s] You know what?
[1876.8s] That was good enough for Elvis.
[1880.2s] Well, for us, it was like the peanut butter slippery.
[1882.2s] It could slip right out.
[1883.1s] Well, if banana stick in there.
[1884.8s] I said the pickles were slippery.
[1886.7s] It would slip right out.
[1887.8s] What if we're talking small gherkins that you don't cut?
[1890.7s] That seems even worse somehow.
[1892.5s] Like you just have a round ass pickle in your.
[1895.3s] Yeah, but small ones.
[1896.9s] Listen, you guys, I'm going to do some market research on this.
[1899.1s] I'm going to get back to you.
[1899.9s] You let me know.
[1900.7s] Give it a shot.
[1901.3s] I want to hear how it is.
[1903.8s] Well, you know where I'll tell you all about my peanut butter pickle sandwiches?
[1907.8s] Tell me.
[1908.5s] Over on Patreon, Patreon.com.
[1914.1s] And I will post pictures to Discord.
[1916.8s] If Amy posts this information to Patreon, maybe,
[1922.3s] we'll also put it in our newsletter.
[1924.1s] So you can go sign up for that too at demdragons.com.
[1927.6s] I'll do a full review.
[1928.5s] There's a subscription link.
[1929.5s] Yeah, I'll do a full review in the newsletter.
[1932.1s] I that's the kind of content you guys are looking for.
[1935.9s] I somehow feel like I'm nervous for Amy writing a check that I don't think she wants to cash,
[1941.9s] but like she seems so committed to it and I want to support her.
[1946.3s] So like get it, girl.
[1948.2s] Sometimes we record these interludes, but I don't release them because it's like
[1953.3s] we get other things going on.
[1954.5s] We record other interludes.
[1955.8s] So maybe this one will be one of those and Amy will just eat a peanut butter
[1959.0s] pickle sandwich for no reason.
[1960.6s] That would be amazing.
[1961.3s] No, I want to know when this is released.
[1962.6s] We'll just do a solo interlude like back in the day.
[1966.1s] Hey guys, it's just me, Russ here.
[1968.0s] Just coming at you because everybody's sleeping in the house
[1970.2s] and I stay up really late to edit these things.
[1971.6s] Just coming at you because I punked my wife into eating
[1973.9s] a peanut butter pickle sandwich for no reason.
[1975.9s] Anyway, back to the episode.
[1977.6s] You're the worst.
[1978.6s] Yeah, that's me, the worst.
[1981.1s] But yes, we would like you to come join us over on Patreon,
[1983.7s] Patreon.com.
[1984.5s] Dem Dragoncast where, hey, guess what?
[1987.5s] Grancis and Flame McKins are looking to break out of the abyss
[1991.5s] and they need your help by signing up with us
[1994.2s] and supporting the show that you are listening to right now.
[1997.1s] That'd be Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[1998.6s] Just in case you needed a quick reminder because this interlude was random
[2002.3s] and we didn't talk about anything show related.
[2005.5s] You forgot what you were listening to.
[2006.7s] It was some sort of amazing culinary show
[2010.3s] you'd accidentally started listening to.
[2012.6s] That's right.
[2013.3s] It's the Great British Bake Off spin-off podcast that we're doing.
[2018.9s] Gross Canadian sandwiches.
[2019.7s] Just wait for this episode to come out.
[2023.5s] I don't know if Canada would be happy with us putting our name
[2026.7s] with its name on the peanut butter pickle sandwich.
[2029.5s] All right, get Trudeau on the line.
[2031.1s] We've got this.
[2032.3s] One's got to include Miracle Whip.
[2035.8s] Yeah, there you go.
[2036.7s] That's the reason why.
[2038.5s] If you all made yeah, it would have been out.
[2040.7s] But no, you blew it.
[2042.3s] All right, everybody.
[2043.1s] Thank you for listening to whatever this was.
[2046.3s] And we'll talk to you all later.
[2047.8s] Enjoy the episode.
[2048.4s] Okay, bye.
[2053.3s] As you enter the astral plane,
[2055.5s] you won't be able to move yourself the way you're used to.
[2061.1s] You will use your thought to move in a direction.
[2067.0s] You think forward, you will move forward.
[2070.4s] Back, you will move back.
[2072.1s] Yes, yep.
[2076.4s] And if you perhaps lose focus and start to think of other things.
[2082.4s] You'll just begin spinning and spinning and no,
[2085.9s] you'll just remain either in motion if you had started moving or you'll stay still.
[2093.4s] Will we still have our physical bodies?
[2096.2s] Yes.
[2096.7s] Yes.
[2098.2s] Is this just for being in the in-between-y stage?
[2102.7s] Yes, once you enter one of the other realms, you will.
[2107.0s] I mean, as far as we understand,
[2108.3s] you'll be able to move of your own volition.
[2110.1s] It's just when traveling through the astral plane.
[2112.9s] Can someone please hand me a couple daggers before I go?
[2120.5s] She nods over to one of the assistants along the side
[2124.2s] and they run out quickly and after a few moments.
[2127.5s] And a scimitar.
[2128.3s] He pokes his head back in, nods, runs out,
[2131.6s] and comes back a moment later with two daggers and a scimitar.
[2136.0s] Thanks, man.
[2137.1s] Any other small weapons to take against demon lords?
[2141.1s] Hey, shut up.
[2142.4s] I don't have any spells.
[2145.4s] You do have spells.
[2146.5s] I do have spells.
[2147.1s] We do have spells.
[2148.1s] No, I know this, however.
[2150.7s] Yeah, I get it.
[2152.3s] Well, if that is all, Makoth takes a few steps out of the circle.
[2156.2s] Is there like a magic word to activate it?
[2159.2s] You see two wizards along the side step up
[2163.5s] with books in their hand and begin casting a spell.
[2166.9s] Oh, it looks like it's lots of magic words, guys.
[2169.3s] Portal begins to swirl beneath you.
[2172.6s] The runes blend together and begin to light up.
[2178.1s] Below you, you see this light from somewhere else come.
[2185.1s] It's black and purples and like streaks of lightning beneath you
[2193.1s] and it lifts up and around you as you blink
[2201.2s] and you're suddenly floating in what looks like the deepness and vastness of space.
[2210.7s] Off in the distance, you see structures of destroyed stars and planets and meteors
[2222.3s] and comets zipping by.
[2223.8s] You see pools of color swirling off in the distance in no particular direction
[2231.8s] and every direction all at once.
[2236.7s] Oh my god, I'm freaking out.
[2239.7s] You take that big breath and it feels like it feels like thick soup entering your lungs.
[2247.9s] As the panic sets in as this change in atmosphere,
[2252.7s] you release your breath and realize all is fine.
[2258.5s] It's okay, guys.
[2259.1s] I'm not breathing water.
[2260.5s] It's just it's still air.
[2263.1s] Oh, okay.
[2266.7s] I look around.
[2267.7s] Does it look like any particular direction we should be going?
[2270.3s] Do we see pools?
[2271.9s] What do we see?
[2272.7s] Yeah, we see a lot of stuff.
[2275.1s] Yes, we see an olive garden.
[2278.8s] Is there one of those diagrams like when you go into the mall
[2282.2s] and it shows you where each of the diagrams?
[2285.8s] No, no dice.
[2288.7s] It's like you're in the middle of the Milky Way.
[2292.9s] You see streaks of lightning happening in a storm over to the right.
[2298.1s] You see like inverted like broken down dead planets rolling by.
[2306.7s] You see like you feel gases or what you could describe as gases
[2313.2s] like rolling up as clouds passing around you.
[2317.3s] Well, I don't think we should just float here.
[2321.8s] Should we just go in a direction?
[2324.7s] I don't have a better solution.
[2326.4s] So, yes.
[2329.2s] When we go forward, when Rax goes forward,
[2331.9s] is it like when you hold a dog just above water
[2336.4s] and the legs are going?
[2338.3s] It thinks it's swimming?
[2339.5s] Yeah.
[2340.3s] I was wondering, I'm assuming Rax is not.
[2345.2s] I'm assuming Rax is not coping great with this.
[2351.0s] Yeah.
[2352.1s] We'll give you that idea.
[2353.4s] Yeah.
[2355.4s] And the whole thing about trying to think to go somewhere
[2358.4s] might be a little bit much.
[2360.7s] So, Rax and Donnie could.
[2364.1s] Donnie's in my pocket.
[2365.5s] Yeah, yeah, Rax.
[2367.6s] Yeah, I guess Rax would be as you enter this space
[2372.3s] and are seeing this and there's no ground beneath you
[2375.8s] and you're just floating.
[2378.1s] Like there's, he's panicking and also not moving.
[2384.0s] So, like his hooves are kicking out and banging loudly.
[2389.1s] Can I use my mind link to speak telepathically to Rax?
[2393.7s] Because I can do that to any creature within 60 feet,
[2396.2s] even if we don't share a language.
[2397.9s] Sure, absolutely.
[2399.3s] And that is what I will do.
[2402.0s] I think I will probably go up to him
[2405.1s] and try and put a hand on him or something,
[2407.0s] although he's a bit crabby.
[2408.3s] So I'm not sure if he's really going to want me to do that.
[2412.1s] But I will approach in a calm manner
[2415.3s] and speaking to him telepathically.
[2418.2s] And I think he will also be able to speak back to me.
[2421.8s] Do they have to have a language period or?
[2424.1s] I don't know.
[2424.7s] It just says you don't need to share a language
[2426.7s] with the creature for it to understand
[2428.3s] your telepathic messages.
[2429.6s] And it says creature, so.
[2431.3s] Maybe it won't respond to you,
[2433.4s] but maybe it'll understand you.
[2435.7s] Because maybe it would be like, nay, nay, nay, nay, nay.
[2438.3s] Like how you can communicate with an animal in a real life,
[2443.1s] but you don't share a language.
[2445.1s] Yeah, that makes sense.
[2446.3s] Like I tell my doctor to sit and she stares at me.
[2448.3s] That's how that works.
[2449.1s] Exactly.
[2450.8s] Yeah, I think, yeah, I mean, I'd allow it.
[2454.6s] You must be calm.
[2456.7s] We are safe now.
[2458.3s] We are going somewhere much more dangerous.
[2461.9s] I think, I mean, I don't think that there's words associated,
[2467.3s] but I think at the suggestion that we're safe now,
[2470.8s] you get a distinctly horsey sense of fucking bullshit.
[2478.1s] Hard disagree.
[2480.4s] We must all travel together in the same direction.
[2483.3s] And to travel here,
[2485.0s] you have to think about where you want to go,
[2487.2s] not just move your feet.
[2488.9s] So if I want to go over there and I point,
[2491.5s] I think of going in that direction and I do that.
[2495.5s] And hopefully that means I move over there
[2497.9s] to show Rex what the heck I'm talking about.
[2502.1s] Are you saying this out loud as well?
[2504.5s] I don't know.
[2505.1s] I don't think so.
[2505.9s] Okay, so I think Agath is just sort of staring at you.
[2510.5s] Because I'm just staring at Rex.
[2515.0s] Cawking her head a little bit.
[2518.3s] And she'll just grab Rex's nose and head
[2524.5s] and just be like, hush, the fight is yet to come.
[2528.7s] And just start trying to tow him somewhere.
[2530.9s] So maybe between the two of those things,
[2535.1s] we could try, should we roll animal handling?
[2538.1s] Like animal handling?
[2540.0s] Yeah, let's do that.
[2543.5s] Or persuasion.
[2545.5s] I think animal handling is probably the best.
[2547.3s] But persuasion, no, I don't actually have a better roll.
[2550.9s] Nevermind.
[2551.5s] I've got crackers.
[2553.1s] You want to nail a persuasion roll.
[2555.1s] Yeah, that just made me very hungry.
[2558.9s] 15.
[2560.8s] You must be very hungry if the word crackers made you be like, oh.
[2564.3s] Well, I immediately thought animal crackers
[2566.3s] and that just made me really happy.
[2568.9s] That sounds good.
[2570.5s] 17, because I have a plus nine in animal handling.
[2575.1s] Wow.
[2576.9s] Well, to control a horse like Rex, you'd need it.
[2578.8s] Yeah, I guess so.
[2579.6s] It's true, it's true.
[2581.1s] Yeah, Rex is justifiably freaking out
[2585.1s] until between the two of you,
[2586.7s] you're reasoning as much as you can
[2589.9s] and slowly begins to fall in line.
[2592.7s] I feel like it's probably a little bit like
[2594.6s] trying to drive a tandem bicycle
[2597.0s] with two people who are trying to drive it
[2598.8s] a little differently.
[2601.6s] Just a little, I'm trying to tow him
[2605.5s] just through sheer will
[2607.0s] and he's trying to do things
[2608.4s] but it doesn't really quite.
[2609.5s] So it's just like, I imagine maybe the three of you
[2612.3s] are efficiently moving and behind,
[2614.6s] it's just like, chh, chh, chh, chh.
[2616.3s] It's like driving a stick shift for the first time.
[2619.1s] It's like, stop, start, stop, start, stop.
[2623.5s] All right, you all begin propelling yourselves forward.
[2627.5s] Towards who knows what.
[2628.7s] Somebody roll me a D4.
[2630.2s] Oh, I'll do it,
[2631.1s] because I mean, this could be high or low.
[2633.1s] It doesn't, like, who knows what it's supposed to be.
[2635.8s] Could be anything.
[2636.1s] That was a four.
[2638.2s] Was four the best one?
[2640.1s] Four was the best one.
[2641.4s] Oh, I did it.
[2643.1s] It was always the best one.
[2645.9s] Time here is difficult to judge.
[2649.5s] There's no sunrise, there are no sunsets.
[2651.8s] You're traveling for a long time.
[2656.5s] The astral plane,
[2657.2s] normally because you're not exuding energy,
[2660.0s] nothing really happens to you.
[2661.7s] You're just moving until you find a place
[2663.5s] that you want to be.
[2664.3s] But you've been traveling so long
[2666.3s] and it's different, as are most things.
[2669.7s] But you're going to need to make
[2670.6s] a constitution saving throw.
[2672.5s] I was going to say, do we have, like, mortal urges?
[2678.7s] Oh, nat two.
[2683.1s] Sorry, I just didn't like going right after Tom.
[2686.0s] I also rolled a nat two, which brings me to a four.
[2689.6s] Is this a con save?
[2690.8s] No, a five, a five.
[2692.2s] Then this brings me to a six.
[2693.9s] And a six, because I have plus one on saving throws.
[2696.4s] So a six.
[2697.6s] I managed to really wrangle a hot six out of that.
[2701.9s] So Karla and I sucked this.
[2703.5s] I got a 17.
[2706.3s] Okay, well, things aren't looking good for the spellcaster.
[2710.3s] We're going to fall asleep.
[2711.3s] Thea and Yen, no, you just, Thea and Yen Bull,
[2713.5s] you tally one point of exhaustion.
[2717.5s] Well, then.
[2719.1s] And I guess at this point, you've been traveling for...
[2724.7s] Time.
[2725.9s] Time.
[2726.5s] A time.
[2727.1s] More than what you could presume to be a day.
[2730.7s] Oh, jeez.
[2732.3s] Seeing all manners of celestial objects.
[2736.4s] And you come across, up in the distance,
[2740.5s] what looks like a very far distance.
[2744.4s] A figure of some sort.
[2747.0s] Did anyone else think that when we were going to be astral projected here,
[2752.2s] that we would be astral projected to the place that we needed to be?
[2757.2s] Yeah, I pictured like a room with a series of tubes.
[2760.6s] And you just pick whichever one you want to go in.
[2762.7s] I thought it'd be like a room of like water fountains, perhaps?
[2766.4s] Like, oh, sure.
[2767.5s] Yes, this is what I pictured to dip your toes in.
[2771.0s] Lots of water features and various colors that you can pick between.
[2775.1s] Instead, I'm just so tired.
[2777.9s] Is there sitting in this place?
[2779.7s] I mean, you can move your body.
[2781.8s] Okay, I continue to move forward, but now in a sitting position?
[2786.8s] Yeah.
[2787.3s] Okay.
[2787.9s] Great.
[2788.5s] Way less tiring.
[2789.8s] Right.
[2790.1s] Well, I figured.
[2792.3s] Moving in no particular direction.
[2794.1s] And you're getting closer to this figure.
[2797.9s] Humanoid?
[2798.5s] What do you guys think that is?
[2799.9s] The closer you get, you begin to see outlines of what could be skeletal remains
[2806.1s] that are getting larger, the closer you get to them.
[2809.4s] Anyone else thinking that they dropped off this poor band of wizards
[2814.3s] and they just never found their fucking way
[2817.0s] to the pool that they were supposed to get at and they just died out here?
[2820.8s] It's possible all search parties are still just in astral plane, wandering around.
[2826.2s] Well, I have a feeling a lot of them have probably done this before,
[2828.9s] and it's probably easier to do once you've done it a time or two.
[2833.2s] That's a good point.
[2834.0s] But I mean, hey, they might all be dead, so.
[2836.9s] Do you think that's who we are approaching,
[2838.6s] or this is probably one of Orcus's undead creatures, skeleton?
[2843.5s] The odds of us happening across the remains of this wizard party
[2849.1s] who went to our destination in a giant galactic universe type plane seem fairly slim.
[2859.3s] Yeah, that's a good point.
[2862.5s] It would be uncanny.
[2863.7s] Things like that happen to us all the time, though.
[2865.8s] The more you travel, these remains start to look gigantic to you.
[2870.3s] Oh, that's not people.
[2872.4s] I do not think that is the wizard.
[2874.6s] How gigantic.
[2875.8s] Yeah.
[2876.4s] And is it moving?
[2877.5s] It does not appear to be moving.
[2879.0s] However, there appears to be something moving on it.
[2883.4s] Neat.
[2883.9s] Elaborate.
[2885.3s] You see.
[2886.3s] Like bugs crawling?
[2887.7s] Like what?
[2889.3s] Yeah.
[2889.5s] From the distance you are at, it appears like winged creatures
[2893.6s] crawling across the bones of this deceased being.
[2899.5s] Astral carrion eaters?
[2901.9s] Hopefully.
[2903.5s] I mean, I was under the impression that this was the in-between.
[2907.9s] Kind of like the bus stop,
[2911.2s] like the where you can get on many different buses from this point.
[2915.1s] Their eyes turn towards you.
[2918.0s] Three of these creatures.
[2920.4s] Their wings shoot up.
[2923.5s] They have giant bulbous skulls and elongated face
[2929.0s] with arms that extend almost ape-like.
[2932.5s] Very cool.
[2934.1s] They have these giant claw-hooked wings on their back.
[2938.8s] Their main body looks almost emaciated
[2942.3s] and they let out this hideous scream and begin swiftly moving towards you.
[2951.1s] Let's roll for initiative.
[2953.2s] I'm going to put this dice away that rolled me the two.
[2957.2s] Into dice jail with you.
[2958.3s] Oh, this room rolled me a two too.
[2961.1s] Oh, that's nice.
[2961.9s] So that's a four.
[2964.2s] Twelve.
[2965.4s] Eleven.
[2966.6s] Twenty.
[2968.2s] I don't really want to go first.
[2970.9s] I don't think you will be.
[2973.6s] This creature with speed that is hard to describe
[2979.3s] quickly is in front of you and moves to attack Thea
[2983.4s] with a bite and a claw attack.
[2986.0s] So that's going to be a 21 on the bite and a 21 on the claw.
[2991.2s] Is Thea within five feet of me?
[2993.8s] I assume you would all be traveling close.
[2997.4s] Cool.
[2997.8s] I don't think we're social distancing here.
[2999.6s] I think we're snug.
[3001.9s] I will use a wording maneuver because I want to use all my post-its.
[3006.7s] That's the goal.
[3008.6s] So if a creature I can see within five feet of me is hit by an attack,
[3012.3s] I can roll a D8 as a reaction and add the number rolled to Thea's AC.
[3018.9s] I don't know what your AC is and if this has a chance of...
[3022.3s] Get more than a four.
[3024.6s] I'll try once I identify which dice is a D8.
[3028.7s] It's a three.
[3033.9s] Okay, so as this thing zips forward, describe what a goth does to try and block.
[3039.3s] Yeah, I think it's like whipping out the shield and I think it's just habit.
[3045.1s] You go to move your body to get in front of something and you forget to think yourself
[3051.6s] forward and so the shield just doesn't quite get far enough out in front.
[3058.4s] But if the attack still hits, you have resistance against the damage.
[3062.1s] So you do have resistance against the attack even though...
[3064.7s] If I have double resistance now, do I not have to take any damage?
[3068.6s] Because we already had resistance, right?
[3070.3s] Well, you have resistance versus resistance, so you get half and then half, right?
[3073.1s] So you get quarter damage, sure.
[3075.6s] Well, you only have resistance from her.
[3078.7s] You don't have piercing damage resistance.
[3080.6s] You told us that we had...
[3082.1s] I gave you potions for air, poison, water.
[3088.6s] Fire.
[3090.1s] Where's the pointy resistance potion?
[3092.0s] I didn't give you a pointy.
[3093.5s] Yeah, I thought you said we get resistance to take half damage.
[3097.5s] Of the potions that I listed.
[3100.7s] I thought you were giving us overall half damage.
[3103.1s] I was like, this is going to be really bad.
[3105.2s] All right, well, I'll take all the full damage.
[3106.7s] Give it to me.
[3107.3s] Well, no, you get half because resistance.
[3109.4s] Okay, I'll have half.
[3110.7s] Geez.
[3111.3s] You get four and then another eight.
[3114.6s] Good use of the post-it note.
[3118.3s] That's right.
[3119.4s] All right.
[3120.8s] It's your turn, Agath.
[3122.8s] All right, well, now that I remember how to move and am angry,
[3128.7s] I'm going to hit the one that hit Thea.
[3130.9s] I'm going to hit it hard.
[3132.7s] Do it.
[3133.3s] Yeah.
[3134.0s] That motherfucker scratched me.
[3136.2s] Yeah, exactly.
[3137.4s] How dare they?
[3138.6s] Wow, there's so many weapons here.
[3140.1s] What do I do with this?
[3142.5s] Choose a big one.
[3143.8s] Mace.
[3144.3s] Mace it is.
[3145.1s] Three attacks.
[3145.6s] Sure, go for it.
[3146.4s] 23 to hit on the first attack.
[3149.3s] Yes, 23 hits, yeah.
[3152.9s] Got to be a 14.
[3154.4s] This one's 13, so this one misses.
[3156.8s] And then yeah, that's another 20 something.
[3160.3s] So two of them hit.
[3162.3s] Ooh, two sixes.
[3165.5s] So 18 damage between the two hits.
[3167.6s] Your mace carves into this and there's huge chunks of flesh
[3172.7s] that fly off of its body.
[3175.0s] Did they move?
[3175.8s] Like how does physics work if the chunks of flesh,
[3179.0s] like is it still-
[3180.1s] Did they have to think they're flesh to the side?
[3183.5s] I'm going to say inertia is a thing
[3184.9s] because otherwise the world gets more fucked.
[3188.3s] So yeah, if you hit it, it's going to continue moving.
[3192.4s] A lump of flesh in motion will remain in motion
[3195.8s] unless acted on by an outside adventurer?
[3198.0s] Exactly.
[3198.7s] Got it.
[3200.2s] Let's do that.
[3201.5s] Because otherwise it's, yeah, it's too much.
[3204.3s] It's so complicated otherwise.
[3206.8s] Anything else you would like to do?
[3208.3s] I will just stay close and review my post-it notes until my next turn.
[3214.7s] Yen Bull, you're up.
[3215.7s] All I can do is cast spells.
[3217.0s] So that's what I'm going to do.
[3217.9s] Sorry to whoever I'm killing out there in the world.
[3221.8s] Please don't let it be me, please don't let it be me.
[3223.9s] I'm going to cast Sacred Flame.
[3227.2s] They need to do a deck save.
[3231.0s] 21.
[3232.1s] Well, that'll do it.
[3233.5s] So I think they take half damage.
[3235.0s] I rolled a 14.
[3239.5s] No, it's just nothing.
[3240.9s] That's my turn.
[3241.9s] Just nothing.
[3242.5s] Just some flame comes out and then.
[3245.4s] Well, you know what?
[3246.2s] There's no oxygen in space.
[3250.3s] What?
[3250.7s] Again, we can't.
[3251.8s] I don't think we can get into that.
[3253.1s] It's God Flame.
[3253.8s] It's Radiant Flame.
[3254.7s] Oh, that's right.
[3255.5s] It belongs there.
[3256.3s] It's its home.
[3256.8s] Or something flame.
[3258.0s] It's Radiant.
[3258.6s] Something flame.
[3259.1s] Yep.
[3260.2s] It's Dreaming Dark Flame.
[3261.6s] It's something else.
[3262.8s] It's complicated, OK?
[3264.4s] Wait, I actually will do something else
[3266.3s] because I think I have bonus action.
[3270.2s] I'm also going to cast Shield of Faith on Thea.
[3277.8s] So a shimmering field appears and surrounds Thea,
[3282.0s] granting her a plus two bonus to AC.
[3284.9s] Ooh.
[3286.4s] Talgir, before your turn, well, all of you notice
[3290.1s] there was movement in the air, quote unquote.
[3293.6s] It begins to pick up and begin to swirl.
[3296.3s] And there's these clouds kind of roiling
[3299.1s] around the area that you are in.
[3303.2s] And it's your turn, Talgir.
[3304.7s] Great.
[3305.0s] I love getting that information before my turn.
[3309.6s] Fight the wind and the nail.
[3311.0s] Get those clouds.
[3312.5s] It's perfect.
[3313.2s] I love it.
[3314.4s] Love attacking the wind.
[3316.7s] I'm going to put my shield on my back
[3319.4s] and turn my battle axe into a two-handed weapon.
[3323.6s] And I'm going to take a couple swings at the nearest one.
[3327.8s] All right.
[3329.2s] First one is a 19 to hit.
[3332.5s] 19 will hit, yep.
[3334.4s] Second one is a 23 to hit.
[3337.6s] Yes.
[3338.3s] That's 14 damage on the first one,
[3341.2s] 14 damage on the second one.
[3343.0s] Describe to me the death of this one.
[3345.2s] Yeah, I mean, two-handed, like,
[3347.6s] big old bastard chop to the neck
[3349.4s] and it takes down.
[3350.6s] The head comes loose and falls
[3352.9s] and the body, you see, goes limp.
[3355.7s] And in the same moment,
[3360.0s] the image of this being begins to fade.
[3365.8s] And it's the other two's turn.
[3368.2s] And one of them is going to move towards Talgir
[3370.1s] and one towards Agath.
[3371.3s] The one moving towards Talgir is going to take two strikes.
[3377.2s] First one is a 14, second one is a seven.
[3380.8s] Neither of those will do the job.
[3382.2s] Well, beans.
[3384.8s] Second one goes towards Agath
[3386.8s] and is also, that's a 17 and a 10.
[3391.6s] I think you've got, like, a 800 AC.
[3393.8s] Yeah, that's, that's.
[3394.9s] At least.
[3395.6s] It's cute.
[3397.9s] Suck yeah.
[3398.6s] They're just flapping around them.
[3400.2s] That's right.
[3400.6s] Very irritating.
[3401.7s] Pet, pet.
[3402.9s] Thea, it's your turn.
[3404.1s] You see that Ceased one is fading from view
[3408.0s] and make a perception check.
[3409.2s] I'll perceive.
[3411.1s] 28.
[3411.6s] Oh.
[3412.2s] Fuck.
[3412.9s] You see everything.
[3414.4s] You have, like, that meme with the math.
[3416.3s] The galaxy brain.
[3417.7s] I understand.
[3418.5s] So you see a few things.
[3419.8s] You see, like, the cloud around you
[3422.7s] beginning to get thicker,
[3423.8s] but beyond that, before it gets to be too thick,
[3427.6s] you see more movement on the bones
[3429.6s] of, like, more of these creatures
[3431.3s] kind of peeking up and over
[3434.8s] some of the bones.
[3436.9s] Guys, there's a lot more of these things over there.
[3442.2s] Perhaps, perhaps hiding?
[3444.7s] Perhaps.
[3445.1s] We did just pick a random direction and go in it.
[3447.2s] We could just go in a different direction.
[3448.6s] Yes, we could perhaps hide in this cloud
[3452.3s] or maybe there would be worse things in the cloud.
[3455.5s] I'm not entirely sure,
[3456.4s] but forward is not the only direction.
[3459.1s] What if we went down?
[3461.0s] What if we beat the shit out of these things in the clouds?
[3463.8s] I'm not entirely sure.
[3464.9s] Do we see the olive pool anywhere, Russ?
[3468.9s] Just roiling clouds and a bunch of bastard baddies.
[3477.1s] Didn't really give us all the information.
[3478.8s] Maybe we asked too many things about jokes.
[3482.5s] She got really sick of us and was like, yep, just go.
[3485.2s] Well, you think she'd tell us where the pool was
[3487.7s] if she wasn't going to put us by the pool.
[3490.5s] I'm just saying.
[3491.4s] You drop someone in a city.
[3493.2s] I mean, how do you landmark things in this kind of plane?
[3496.3s] That's a good question.
[3497.1s] It's true.
[3497.6s] It's by the giant floating corpse.
[3500.5s] Maybe.
[3501.3s] It's by the big dinosaur bones.
[3505.5s] Yeah, I'm going to take my daggers out
[3508.7s] and I'm going to dagger the nearest one.
[3511.5s] My daggers in each hand.
[3513.2s] Daggers.
[3513.6s] I like how you ask for weapons
[3515.6s] and ask for just a dagger and a scimitar.
[3518.2s] Oh, well, I'm proficient.
[3520.5s] Listen, I'm used to spells and I'm legit worried
[3526.3s] of killing somebody.
[3527.6s] That's only 13.
[3531.3s] 14, I think it needed.
[3532.4s] And that one's a 19.
[3534.2s] 19 will hit.
[3534.9s] And here's the tiny bit of damage coming at you.
[3538.0s] Five.
[3538.5s] You stab into it.
[3540.0s] You pull your blade back and the blood begins to swirl around.
[3545.6s] And you begin to spin and you see all of your other friends
[3549.0s] begin to spin.
[3550.6s] And these beings, you notice a look of panic in their eyes
[3559.1s] and suddenly they're gone.
[3562.0s] Oh, I think we need to leave.
[3564.6s] Can we?
[3565.4s] Yes.
[3565.6s] Can we?
[3566.1s] It's a bad sign.
[3566.9s] Move ourselves down and out of this?
[3569.3s] You can certainly try.
[3570.3s] Or up and out of this?
[3572.2s] Or we need to get out of here.
[3574.0s] Dive, dive, dive.
[3576.8s] All right.
[3577.6s] You all begin to dive.
[3580.5s] Somebody, actually two people, roll me a d20, please.
[3585.8s] I'm on it.
[3586.4s] I've been rolling lots of twos lately and I just.
[3588.5s] 19.
[3590.2s] Okay, I'll do.
[3591.2s] Yeah, do it.
[3591.7s] Do it, Kristen.
[3592.8s] Oh, also a 19.
[3594.8s] Oh, cool.
[3596.3s] Twinsies.
[3596.9s] Wait, hold on.
[3597.6s] Is higher better?
[3599.2s] I know, who knows?
[3600.0s] It's a cable.
[3600.8s] You don't know where the things land.
[3604.4s] You all begin to spin in place and you're diving,
[3609.9s] but you begin to lose consciousness.
[3611.7s] You begin to black out and you're fading in and out.
[3616.3s] You find yourselves waking up an unknown time later
[3621.6s] on dusty, gravelly path.
[3626.9s] You hear like a droning, howling wind
[3632.4s] and thunder rolling across the sky.
[3637.5s] You look up and the shadows that you see before you are black.
[3644.8s] You see movement within them.
[3647.0s] Beyond, there's this crack of lightning and this enormous tower.
[3651.2s] More.
[3659.6s] Dumbgeons and Dragons season 2, episode 86,
[3663.6s] starring Amy More as Thea Amastasia,
[3666.4s] Carla Maxted as Yen Bolnurri,
[3668.5s] Tom Laird as Tulgeer Heavyfoot,
[3670.4s] and Russ More as your dungeon master,
[3672.5s] with guest Kristen Flemmons as a goth godlos catho alavi.
[3676.4s] Editing, production, and sound design by Russ More.
[3679.2s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,
[3683.2s] Boom Library, and Sound Ideas. A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[3687.6s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok, Mark Hartless, Stevie, Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Christian
[3693.0s] Brown, Devin Michaels, Aaron Stevens, Eric Houlihan, and Ray Sirbeck. To support Dungeons
[3698.8s] and Dragons and our many other productions and get access to an exclusive podcast,
[3703.0s] bonus episodes, and much more, please join our Patreon at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[3709.0s] You can also follow us at facebook.com slash dumb dragon podcast and on Instagram and Twitter
[3714.1s] at dumb dragon cast. Thank you for listening. Have a great week. We'll talk again soon.
[3739.1s] That's the, you know, choose your own adventure at that point where...
[3742.5s] Oh, perfect.
[3743.1s] Yeah.
[3743.7s] Oh, I had a good question.
[3744.7s] Does Thea have a question or does Amy have a question?
[3746.2s] No, Thea has a question.
[3750.3s] I, I don't... Christian, why are you laughing at me?
[3754.1s] I'm trying to form words in my head and then make them come out of my mouth.
[3758.6s] All this world building that we should have done like eight years ago.
[3764.3s] What'd be the fun in that? Let's just do it all in two episodes.
[3767.8s] Yeah.
[3768.4s] Exactly.
[3769.8s] I didn't look up.
[3770.7s] That's a really good question.
[3772.1s] Well, I mean, it's no use getting to the astral plane and then being like,
[3776.0s] ooh, eeny, meeny, miny.
[3778.3s] I'd love to know the colors.
[3780.0s] Silver.
[3780.3s] The colors of...
[3781.7s] Okay.
[3782.2s] Oh, silver.
[3783.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.