[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.6s] okay okay i need to summarize here so people get blown up out of a window giant spider attacks them
[9.3s] giant spider attacks me i get sticky see butterflies then spider blows up this guy
[17.9s] disappears then comes back there's butterflies but it's just his eyes are closed yeah i think
[24.6s] that pretty much sums it up okay guys all right all right this guy this is this is my friend
[30.2s] Wimren he came with me from Gerat Damar and i've been telling him all about Bahamut
[35.3s] and of course all about you guys anyway we were told by new management z and z who i'm
[42.7s] pretty sure run this place now that we can rifle through anything to find out you know
[47.9s] all the bad stuff and we found bones and bongs inside of it three missing vertebrae
[54.5s] and a missing bong so someone's not gonna have a good night either way i think we're missing the
[59.4s] point that this was a really bad dude and i don't think these bones were given voluntarily
[65.8s] oh oh you think this was like his like weird murder drawer yeah i think it was very
[71.7s] funerary you know that there's the trade routes are all up in the air right now right
[77.8s] no what no what's happening with that i've heard the writings about this paragraph that
[83.4s] explains it but i really haven't spent a lot of time looking for it um but you guys you know
[88.6s] i'll i'll dig around my bag as we're going i haven't written down on the
[91.4s] slip of paper somewhere because i thought it was important
[114.3s] welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons i'm your dungeon master rust more he him also with me today is
[118.8s] amy more oh you did that as soon as i took a drink that's you're a jerk uh she her uh and i
[127.1s] play sullivan slight a um lightfoot halfling rogue he him and carla max did she her i play
[135.8s] glim uh dragonborn pAlydin also she her and tom laird he him and i play moot who is a wild magic
[144.7s] half orc sorcerer and he also goes with he him and joining us again today from the end of time
[149.9s] another bothers michael howie he him and i'm playing wim rin saris uh he him half elf bard
[158.8s] real interesting start for wim rin in the last episode that we've just
[163.4s] seamlessly really bring in some some chaos that i like learn by doing fair you don't know unless
[170.7s] you throw that potion out a window where you can throw a potion is over on Patreon.com
[175.3s] slash dumb dragon cast and you can throw potions to us because we need items for our zed mart that
[181.4s] we love to shop at that's right and when you are a patron you get an episode dedicated to
[185.6s] you like today's patron gungan mobster gungan mobster i know them i know them you know from
[194.6s] discord whatever sure from discord and Patreon on the meme channel oh so many good news yes
[199.9s] join us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast now fuck it let's play come on let's play
[205.1s] moot glim and sully and your new friend wim rin uh have left the town of hard castle
[212.2s] and are on the road to the town of arabar but why we decided we didn't care about the two
[221.8s] thirds of people missing from the mystery will remain unsolved we were whatever chased out
[228.0s] of town after that dog portal incident or that could have been it yep i'll say you probably
[234.2s] have the information you need from that city and probably were asked to leave while zed and
[240.7s] we're still out because of the dog incident yeah and the spider attack and the explosions
[246.2s] i mean there were some reasons in hindsight why a town might not want us to stay i guess
[252.9s] well i don't know we we save the asses from that from that spider and from uh the mayor
[260.9s] baron but also like he could come back at any time so hopefully znz got it locked down
[267.4s] yeah i'm sure they'll be back in time to take care of anything that needs like
[270.5s] taking care of also we smashed those bones so like that probably
[274.6s] put some kind of kink in his terrible evil plan right okay i won't be boning
[282.0s] you did have to legally had to yes i it is in my contract and
[287.5s] dumb that people want more dick jokes you can't leave a joke on the table no you can't
[299.9s] i think in general oh sorry no no you go you go you go no it was another joke
[308.5s] if at any point there is a dick on a table questions should be asked it's true it's it's
[314.0s] a move yeah we're power move at staff meetings so i don't i don't recommend it especially when
[321.5s] you take out the big knife to just then put it down like everyone's attention to you yeah that's
[330.7s] right so we're going to agrabah agrabah
[341.8s] that's not right that's where we're going right yes and we're gonna see jasmin ali of babua
[349.1s] that's right don't ask me why you're going to arabar
[352.6s] agrabah there it is agrabah agrabah so we're on the way to dagabah yep
[360.8s] circle back around the servers okay okay i i've got the paper the right side up this time okay
[367.4s] oh this will make so much more sense yeah so it's three siblings who used to work together
[375.4s] their parents ran these trade routes and stuff and they've been fighting since their parents
[380.0s] died and there's this guy i i was told a name i don't know if i believe the name i've tried
[388.2s] doing some fact checking i have been unable to find any you know facts i've been able to shed
[393.2s] light on this situation and that's going to be funny in a moment this person's name is
[398.9s] the shadow allegedly i don't know how one would necessarily go about finding a shadow
[405.4s] because you walk into a room you try and turn on the lantern and all the shadows disappear
[409.5s] shadows are gone so the shadow knows what's going on also the shadow or is one of the siblings
[416.0s] so apparently and again this is all pieced together information from multiple towns one
[422.7s] paragraph upside down you can see my handwriting is very difficult i may have cried into it once
[429.7s] i may have accidentally used it as a tissue once yes i i'm i'm a little surprised that
[436.4s] it's lasted this long in my pocket but nonetheless this shadow character wants to find treasure from
[444.6s] some pirate aisle i don't know if that's the name of the aisle or an adjective and an aisle
[451.3s] and it's supposed to have these items they come together to unite the divide of these
[456.6s] three nations i was telling you about termish chondath and tether those are the three
[462.6s] nations that were controlled by this family who did all the trade routes and everything was good
[467.0s] but now it's falling apart the trade routes are falling apart you still owe me i think eight
[471.6s] gold for that double layered harmonica sully we can get to that later the invoice is
[478.0s] already in your pockets and i think that's part of what's going on and it's just it's
[483.9s] all about paperwork really no one knows who's supposed to be in charge so no one's in charge
[488.9s] but the shadow character seems to think if someone can find these these items and bring
[494.2s] them together it will somehow unite everybody some kind of some kind of magical or mystical
[500.1s] purpose behind this i don't really know but what i heard is that he's offering 500 gold
[507.4s] for every single one of the pieces that's found oh that's yeah well i i got it that
[516.0s] that's 39 million gold pieces per person per item wow trickle up you figured it out
[525.3s] i figured it out all you have to do is add four zeros and multiply i told you it would come to
[530.1s] you bahamut delivers now i have a very important question the shadow is definitely a nickname that
[539.9s] person gave themselves right oh yeah they probably grew up as something lame like mickey and were
[545.4s] just like you know what i need a cool nickname because no one would ever call me mickey especially
[551.5s] after i said it's i'm not really comfortable with that so the shadow is probably this allure
[558.6s] of toughness yeah if you were yeah it seems like definitely a self-given nickname it's real
[564.9s] it's forced it's like no one's gonna be like hey the shadow yeah so i bet we're looking for
[570.7s] someone like really obvious yeah also um has anyone ever considered you know in zed mot
[578.2s] you know aisle 12 is the pirate aisle oh like is this possibly just something we just need to
[585.7s] head to the zed mart and like and then upcharge them you know yeah yeah that makes sense so
[591.8s] what you do you go to the zed mart you pick up a couple of pirate items
[597.0s] dirty them up in this like you leave them buried overnight or something so they kind
[600.6s] of get that answer that patina yeah exactly maybe get us like a firm brush and scrape it
[607.2s] to give it some aging you hit it with some with some chains exactly a little bit with
[613.0s] some fire yeah and then you're like hey look six items 96 gazillion gold please he gives us
[619.6s] the gold we run right yeah that's gonna look a little suspicious but hey we already have the gold
[627.8s] what if we joyfully run oh like yay we have so much gold well isn't that just skipping
[634.6s] okay so we skip that's fine or could it be a prance yeah oh a prance or a romp perhaps
[643.3s] i think a romp requires flirting oh i'm okay with that are you i mean i want to learn a little bit
[651.4s] more about the shadow before i commit to flirting oh i don't think you have to float with the
[656.0s] shadow i think you just have to flirt while running oh i'm not sure if glim knows how to
[661.2s] flirt okay glim glim ready yes you start running towards me i'm gonna start running
[665.5s] towards you and we'll flirt as we pass okay okay ready okay i'm just gonna stretch it up
[670.9s] a little bit a few stretches two star exercises and i'm ready okay one two three
[681.4s] running and running and running and do you come here often so that was flirting that's
[687.2s] that's a romp that's all it is yeah well yeah so glim next time you just be something like
[693.2s] you know um say something really superficial that might actually be an insult try that
[701.4s] oh oh you're talking about batting batting yeah so i say something when you say something bad
[709.3s] but it makes it makes the other person like like want you or something yeah so i think there's
[714.7s] witchcraft involved i'm not entirely sure okay yeah so this is going to be bad batting while
[720.2s] romping so it's romping okay romping i like it you know what we should really write a book
[725.6s] about this we should write a book i'm already on that guys i got expertise in this area
[732.0s] i have been published before that's true sully is a published author awesome hey hey guys when
[738.6s] she said i would get money for uh all the like royalties and stuff how's she ever supposed
[744.3s] to find me to give me that money you'll probably have to find her yeah we'll have
[749.2s] to go back there yeah chasing someone down for your money just kind of sounds like
[753.8s] it's like you do the work and then you have to do more work to get paid for the work that
[756.9s] you already did i feel like i kind of got hosed a little bit it's a freelancer's life
[764.7s] preach gig economy this is not the first time the gig economy has come up in our
[771.0s] broadcast gig adventuring sidequest that's right okay so we should see if there's like
[778.4s] a zed mart in arabar or ask about the shadow well i mean if we okay you know what we're coming
[786.8s] up to this little settlement up here why don't we ask them right uh as you know i feel that
[794.4s] with pahamut behind me now with all that i've learned from you glim and all i'm learning
[799.6s] about the uptick uh i can't remember what the whole thing was called now up trickle up trickle
[805.9s] thank you with all we've learned about the up trickle it's really time to put it all together
[811.8s] and see if we can't get answers oh i yes i love your passion i think that's exactly what we
[820.6s] should do i don't know what's going on with these two oh now they're muted they're muted
[828.2s] it just like they're they're laugh arguing on you it's really interesting they both are look
[838.3s] it's making me laugh and they're having so much fun but but there's some kind of secret shame
[846.4s] behind why this is funny yes there is i read his notes guys the first time ever i could
[856.2s] actually read words and i was not expecting the words i read oh my i can't wait okay
[863.0s] save it for the downtime oh no you'll find out okay
[873.2s] um as um excuse me um as women had said you're coming up on a small town and uh you see it it's
[883.0s] it is rather small probably no more than 100 people um and you round a bend and you see a
[889.4s] a big sign that has the name of the town on it butts hole but but but buts hole buts hole
[901.3s] buts i think they have the s in the wrong place this is what i look down and see on is
[907.8s] it just says buts hole with an underline it's viciously underlined what's a okay i know what
[917.7s] a butt hole is but what's a butt like your what hold on a second your butt hole is your
[923.6s] butt's hole yeah okay where's the apostrophe the apostrophe it's after the t it's after the
[931.8s] t so it's butt hole okay it's your your butt hole it's your butt's hole so clearly this is
[939.4s] where someone named butt has a hole yes yep ah okay that makes someone more sense um
[951.5s] okay well let's go into butt's hole
[953.4s] oh you're 12
[959.6s] you guys are just having a conversation i gotta do something over here gotta write butt's hole
[963.1s] down what at what point in the conversation did that come to because you wrote it down just
[968.9s] right now that's why that's what got your attention that's why you looked over yes
[973.4s] at what point in our conversation were you like i've got it i've got the best idea it's
[980.2s] buts hole when women said there's a town up ahead and that's okay i don't pretend to know how
[987.4s] your motherboard works in there the booming metropolis of buts hole
[996.0s] that was a slow end to a sip not again and it doesn't take long to get the town center
[1003.8s] how does buts hole look uh buts hole is uh you know it's it could be cleaner
[1013.2s] god needs a bit of manicuring but no one's really comfortable doing it on their own
[1019.4s] and you're really not ready to ask someone else to help you with it
[1023.0s] it's for sure more than a two-man job yeah yeah um you know there's some overgrown hedges
[1028.6s] uh throughout the streets are well in the middle of town by the way you make it to
[1033.0s] the middle of the town and it um it is a large hole in the center of town with like a spiral
[1040.7s] staircase that goes around the perimeter down to what you can presume is the the basin the
[1047.5s] bottom of this hole i think we should check out how deep buts hole goes i mean you think
[1053.1s] there must be something good down there because otherwise why would you build stairs
[1056.5s] down into the hole i've got an idea oh all right there's a mathematical formula for the
[1064.5s] speed at which something drops to measure how far down it is so all we need is something like a
[1070.1s] pebble just to toss down the mill count how long until it hits right what about that um
[1075.6s] purple thing you you took from hardcastle perfect idea okay so i'll take that out of
[1081.3s] my tunic hold on a second excuse me is anyone in buts hole oh yeah hi there are you on the way
[1089.0s] up on the way down i'm behind you you're trying to smack your husband just real hard in the
[1097.9s] face anybody gotta watch out when people are sneaking up on buts hole right especially when
[1103.5s] you're already in buts hole and then someone else comes in behind you it's like hey you
[1108.3s] know what as long as we're all agreeing to it but we should have that conversation first
[1114.2s] it's a little crowded in here i just have to say could you not stand so close to me
[1121.8s] your breath is very hot sir yeah well it's yeah well it's all the peppers in buts hole
[1128.6s] oh you grow a lot of peppers in buts hole sure do that's got a burn spicy or the better so
[1133.5s] you have burning peppers in buts hole burning peppers in buts hole really makes things run
[1137.8s] is anyone down this hole right now it's what i was screaming down and you answer from behind me
[1142.5s] which is real weird well you don't want to scare the miners down there in buts hole oh they're
[1146.2s] miners down there don't put your purple potion in buts hole don't put that purple potion in
[1152.8s] buts hole there are miners in buts hole what are they digging for ah we dig for gold
[1162.8s] haven't found much it doesn't seem like something you'd search for in buts hole what
[1166.5s] would you search for is anyone else concerned about the miners that are in buts hole should
[1171.4s] we call someone that doesn't seem okay no very much not okay are you you're not but are you are
[1180.4s] you but no i'm his i'm his brother leroy oh you're leroy hole yeah no wait is it is it
[1190.6s] hole is the last name i thought the name was but no it's it's our last name well then why
[1199.5s] is it buts hole uh well who's butt well he's he was he was our dad and this is his whole
[1211.0s] this is butt hole's hole no we didn't want to go with like the first the second all
[1216.6s] that sort of stuff so uh so my brother's name is buts because there's more than one
[1223.1s] checks out so now it should be known as buts's hole well i guess if you're into
[1228.6s] semantics possibly but then shouldn't there be an s and then an apostrophe no because that's
[1236.0s] his name but when there's plural assumption you don't you don't need an apostrophe but
[1242.3s] it's more of a figurative thing look what are you guys i used to be a punctuator i know all
[1251.0s] about where to put like you know the things in sentences and stuff yeah well i wanted to
[1257.0s] throw this down the hole do you think that's okay no please please don't wait what is it i
[1262.2s] don't know oh we're just trying to find out how deep the hole is what happened the last
[1267.0s] time you threw something out of a hole uh i actually don't know i wasn't really paying
[1271.4s] attention how do you know he threw something out of a hole he wants to throw something in a hole
[1275.8s] who are you look it's just a you know it's just knowing you know building character developing
[1282.6s] character he's finding character knowing who a person is glim i've forgotten this guy's
[1287.5s] name already right yeah brother of buts hole yeah yeah hole have whose father put miners
[1297.4s] in the but hole yeah and then gave it to his son buts hole hole you seem to have followed this
[1302.7s] real well i'm very impressed i don't know what's going on is there gold down there though i
[1307.9s] heard gold haven't found any yet how long have the mine has been down there that's a big hole
[1313.6s] that okay that didn't answer my question leroy is there a zed mart in town here a zed mart sure
[1321.6s] yeah what you just started up one last week as a matter of fact yeah we've got a megastore
[1328.4s] it's it's a small branch uh does it have a pirate aisle probably oh guys all right
[1336.1s] so i'll just leave this here and we'll go to the pirate aisle oh please tell me it's on the
[1341.1s] ledge okay well you're gonna come back for it though right sure we get strong breezes out in
[1347.7s] buts hole here don't want it to knock over okay anyway let's go to zed mart just um this
[1353.5s] direction or yeah just down around the corner just you know okay um past the past the goods
[1361.0s] and the goods are just around the corner oh look there's a corner still called the goods
[1366.2s] oh okay um okay thanks it was very cryptic leroy oh no problem i'm just gonna make sure this
[1372.3s] doesn't fall in here for you sir okay okay thanks yeah um it probably tastes pretty good it's
[1377.5s] purple if you want to give it a sip maybe i'll come back and find out if i did later i will
[1385.0s] i will and as we walk away that guy was a real asshole well i didn't understand like
[1392.2s] almost anything he said seemed like a lot of conflicting information got really confusing
[1397.0s] and somehow the names didn't really make sense and so like the dad was named butt but then the kid
[1404.4s] was named but no the kid was named butts right because there's two of them there's two of them
[1410.6s] and also their economy runs on hot peppers but also they're mining for gold but have never
[1415.3s] found any so i think it might just be a hobby do whole towns have hobbies maybe i mean it
[1421.2s] must be an up-and-coming town of zed mart opened a branch here though right i mean
[1424.6s] they really do their research before they before they invest so i guess buts hole is like super
[1433.0s] cool and where it's happening frankly i just feel a little weird being in buts hole yeah me
[1438.5s] too i mean leroy brought that weird energy like coming up behind us and wait you're close
[1444.2s] to me hot breath yeah did not like the hot breath it was moist yeah you don't like
[1449.4s] someone breathing moistly on you it's hi hello justin true doubt come on
[1458.6s] this is buts hole you know he was really really leaning into it
[1464.1s] so we had that zed mart how far away is that yeah you're there
[1469.1s] have we destroyed your will to live yet rice have you given up all hope no it's fine it's
[1474.6s] perfect it's just the way it's it's going to but whole buts hole abandon all hope
[1483.8s] is your own fault you named that also sorry for the 15 minute
[1487.9s] butthole jokes just a string of butthole jokes no that's what the people pay for
[1505.2s] welcome to the middle this is the place where we're going to talk about something
[1509.1s] we haven't talked about previously but we don't know what it is because russ hasn't told us yet
[1514.5s] oh we're all going to find out together it's going to be a surprise it's a discovery let's
[1518.8s] all make one guess okay my guess is farfalle noodles my guess is russ's gift for mother's
[1529.2s] day that he's planning oh my guess is we're getting a puppy it's going to be a golden
[1535.5s] retriever that's the best guess amy wins ah yeah wow really setting up for failure on all fronts
[1543.0s] i mean the farfalle knew that i was really into okay um discussing you know secret mother's
[1548.3s] day presents you can't talk about that tom because they're secrets so my birthday my
[1553.2s] birthday is coming up first yeah birthday that's true well it's for his mom though it's not for you
[1557.4s] oh oh do you buy your mom's secret mother's day presents secret that's very nice that you plan
[1564.4s] a month and a half in advance it's usually uh the day before i'm like ah shit oh this gas
[1571.4s] station i'm driving by will have something exactly yeah who's in the show today uh
[1578.2s] mike howey yeah yeah he is yeah no you should definitely go listen to michael uh talk about
[1586.9s] animals on defender radio because it's a great podcast bringing awareness for animals who need
[1594.2s] awareness farfalle noodles yeah there you go golden retrievers also see i was so close with
[1602.5s] my guess i was your guess was the closest if we're if we're deciding who is the closest
[1608.1s] and michael does the podcast for in like endangered and animals at risk and building
[1614.2s] awareness for wildlife at canada canadian wildlife yeah wow so absolutely that's really
[1619.1s] cool yep um your farfalle noodles brought me to a point i was listening to a radio show
[1625.3s] where they were doing an interview with a person who just invented a new pasta shape
[1629.9s] what oh wow it's the cascatelli okay and what is that the waterfall pasta shape i have never
[1637.2s] heard of this it's got like well it's because it's brand new it was invented march 3rd 2021
[1643.1s] we're a groundbreaking pasta here okay so it's got it's it's designed to hang on to more
[1650.4s] sauce and be easier to be eaten with a fork so it's got like this groove down the middle
[1654.6s] and these wavy things that go up the side it kind of looks like if you took
[1658.9s] a lasagna noodle okay and you shrunk it down so it's not as thick and then you scooped it
[1667.0s] like you curved it to make a u-shape yeah okay okay and then you bend it to make a rainbow
[1675.8s] oh okay so wasn't a good sauce catcher yeah for sure all about that sauce yeah so i didn't
[1682.1s] know people were still working on new pasta technology i thought once they made like
[1686.4s] penises we'd reach the pinnacle and that was it that was the whole interview is like why
[1691.7s] why even invent a new pasta shape and he's and he said why not he said why not you know
[1697.0s] basically why why not it was not a great interview it was about four seconds long and
[1703.8s] is it about as good as this interlude yes i think it's about as good yep yeah um so yeah
[1710.9s] michael howey and cascatelli pasta look forward it's your local grocer the pasta not michael
[1716.5s] howey michael howey's not available in your local grocery i don't think i mean a picture
[1721.4s] of michael on the pasta bag like you know what cascatelli people get in touch with us and
[1727.8s] michael and we'll we'll talk we'll cut a deal here i think you would be a great pasta
[1732.2s] i agree yeah yeah that's the middle i
[1737.0s] Patreon.com dumb dragon cast if you want to come join us over there we'd love that but
[1740.8s] cascatelli pasta michael howey okay love you bye bye okay bye bye yes you make it to the
[1749.8s] the smaller zed mart look like you know it's just a you know just a boutique shop you
[1754.0s] enter so it's like the normal zed mart and then the zed mart that's like the mcdonald's
[1759.9s] in the walmart yeah this is like a zed mart express sure exactly you know they have a lot
[1765.8s] of stock but they've got to order it in right because might be what we find out
[1772.6s] is maybe what's going to be happening usually the pirate aisle is aisle 12 but i don't think
[1777.1s] that 12 aisles in here yeah i'm not sure we might have to ask somebody excuse me garcon
[1781.8s] popping up from behind the desk you see steveson hello it's it's you again it's me again are you
[1791.1s] how yeah how does this work do you travel around or is there like an intricate system of
[1797.0s] tunnels and tubes or is it magic are we all in the same zed mart at the same time but at
[1804.1s] different frequencies of existence and you flit between them if i pricked you would you bleed
[1816.5s] well probably please don't please don't prick me um i would probably bleed uh well as i mentioned
[1823.4s] previously to you zed mart's big into like pocket dimensions and like holding things and
[1827.9s] right so moving between it means we can hire fewer people but are you like our own personal
[1836.4s] zed mart concierge like is that how we always see you that's how it works are you however we
[1843.7s] picture you to be i can't explain how all of the grander workings of zed mart work but if
[1850.4s] you see me as a comfortable so what do you do when we're not in the zed mart
[1857.2s] well i stock the shelves do you exist if we're not in the zed mart i why wouldn't i exist if
[1867.1s] you were not in the zed mart quick go out and come back in i bet you i'll be here
[1871.2s] yeah but we don't have time for this or do we i'm not sure how how urgent this thing is
[1878.8s] that we're doing yeah me neither i don't remember what i said to come to this just thinking about
[1886.5s] the i'm the one who said we should go into the town and i can't remember why now we're looking
[1891.8s] for the pirate isle yep ah do you have a pirate isle i know this is just an express
[1897.7s] location it's a bit smaller oh yes pirate isle isle 12 and you turn and look and where there
[1902.6s] were not 12 isles there are now 12 isles it's big on the inside it sure is it's really more
[1910.2s] of a grower than a shower well when in butzhole but what does one done in when in butzhole
[1916.7s] you grow it's a growth market it is it is yeah the the gig economy hasn't quite found it yet
[1924.2s] here it's a growth it's it's up and coming you guys are just going to keep expanding until
[1928.2s] it's comfortable until if it fits we sits
[1939.0s] do you feel any shame right now it's all good all right
[1942.5s] as long as you've crossed any personal line that you have for yourself
[1946.2s] i'm fine dignity or anything like that that's good what's dignity all right okay
[1951.0s] okay uh well let's check down this aisle and see if there's anything is anything in your notes
[1961.7s] that says like what these items are why is the paper always wet
[1969.4s] were you crying i don't know oh well i mean it comes and it goes right that's how that's
[1974.6s] that's how the emotions work they come in waves they come they overwhelm us and then
[1979.8s] they see back into the ocean of emotion trademark that was beautiful thank you um i am accepting
[1989.7s] tips go on just right here into my bardic bag that i keep on my side for my performances
[2000.1s] if anyone enjoys things i've said recently and they wanted to tip me for them it's very busy
[2005.5s] looking at various things on the store shelves i'm gonna give them a silver awesome one silver
[2011.9s] all right well i'm not sure what the items are but based on what's on the wall here i think we
[2017.0s] can probably come up we need six items they need to come together to unite so i don't know
[2023.3s] what that means and it could actually say untie again my handwriting is not good so similar
[2029.7s] it's either unite or untie um either way it should be fine well because if things can unite
[2036.6s] they probably should be able to like un unite so yes also ropes are used on boats so maybe
[2044.5s] like a rope should be involved somehow because that would like both unite and we could untie it
[2051.1s] yeah that's good all right okay well they've got ye old rope here um so we can grab some
[2057.0s] of that perfect and it's the ye old brand so it's already looks aged so we don't even
[2061.2s] have to do any of that aging we talked about on the rope here's a pirate sash okay sash awesome
[2068.6s] uh now should we light this one on fire a little bit maybe just around the edges to
[2073.8s] make it seem like sense because like maybe it was used to jump over some sort of big
[2078.9s] fire there was a cannon and then sure sure yeah yeah okay okay here's here's the plan i'm
[2084.2s] going to hold it over my head moot i just need you to use um a very small magical spell to
[2094.0s] give it like just a singed edge i can do that i've got just the thing for it i'm going to
[2099.0s] use my firebolt i really don't want to be the person who says this but i'm going to say it
[2105.0s] anyway perhaps we should pay for these items first and maybe not doing that's your fault
[2112.6s] i know i'm coming out of my mouth that was glim okay here why why don't we gather up the
[2117.7s] rest of the items then we'll take them outside yes then we'll do okay okay so there's we've got
[2123.0s] what do we have we have a sash we've got the rope okay oh this tricorder hat yes oh
[2129.4s] perfect uh here's a keg of gunpowder i think that's pretty good let me roll that along
[2135.5s] oh i got a fuse here oh excellent excellent a fuse what are we up to now four five that's five
[2142.7s] items just one more rubber ducky there's a rubber ducky i mean i have never known a pirate not
[2151.0s] to have a rubber ducky i was just gonna say right it's that old trope yeah okay so all right
[2155.7s] we'll just you know put this all onto a pile here and start walking the keg out with all
[2163.0s] the things on top of it uh what did you find everything you were looking for we did we found
[2169.0s] everything i think we found everything we need to both unite and untie from the pirate aisle to
[2176.0s] to something about the trade routes and the shadow and then the siblings it's a lot of gun
[2181.5s] three siblings powder yeah it's a lot of gun well it's such a it's such a great deal i
[2187.1s] mean yeah you can buy it for like a hundred grams for just like a gold sure for five gold
[2192.4s] you can literally get 300 kilograms in a barrel that's what zed mart's all about is those those
[2198.4s] sweet sweet deals yeah the volume deals you can't beat it yeah bulk items i mean i only go
[2204.4s] to zed mart for shop around you can't beat that price yeah all right well we'll settle up
[2209.4s] here somebody's paid obviously uh we've got five gold for the cake of gunpowder
[2215.2s] mm-hmm probably just like a silver for the sash yeah well silver for the sash
[2222.2s] two silver for the tri-corner hat ye old rope it's why i left four drums in aisle 72
[2229.7s] um and that's from my expense so i'm gonna just leave that invoice here for you
[2235.0s] the four drums like four drums of more more gunpowder no no just for like the drums yeah
[2241.7s] yeah yeah so i sell barding goods okay well i'm gonna just actually trade in this double harmonica
[2249.0s] just oh i don't want to sure yeah we're we do that here you do trade right now we might
[2256.2s] okay great just that i don't need the double harmonica zed mart and trading so harmonica
[2261.6s] yeah the harmonica will cover the ye old rope uh pan flute yeah that'll cover the fuse no
[2266.4s] i'm gonna keep the pan flute i oh okay sorry i'm really fallen in love with its mystical
[2270.8s] sounds all right and then the four drums he goes and looks around the court yeah those are good
[2274.8s] drums uh still gonna need about 20 gold for that rubber ducky though okay so here's what i'll do is
[2281.0s] i'll give you 40 gold but then i'm gonna need you to give me back 30 gold so i can give you
[2286.3s] 200 silver and then you give me back 20 gold and it's even that way and that way i get the
[2292.1s] change i need to be able to do my laundry on the road later i mean all that math checks out
[2297.9s] it's happened okay thanks steve's and we'll see you i guess next time i hope maybe you will
[2303.4s] oh and probably in a fun new location maybe i'll have a different hat you're wearing a hat
[2310.6s] well maybe i'll have a different one yeah well a new one would be different also you did a
[2316.1s] great job with this staff i just have to say oh yes well it fits you much better i don't
[2321.9s] know how you were carrying it around for so long without anybody noticing it's something
[2327.4s] we just don't talk about it's a lot of things happen like that we had a we had a cart we had a
[2337.0s] cart we had a cot okay so you know a lot of my stuff was in the cot yeah so what i'm hearing
[2343.6s] though is that butz hole holds a lot of secrets that's what i've heard you know we're
[2347.6s] new in town i haven't figured them all out yet well i'll tell you what you keep penetrating
[2351.9s] with those questions and you'll get to the core of butz hole we will yeah just repeatedly
[2357.2s] throwing those questions hard against butz hole i'm just seeing what bounces back just until we get
[2363.2s] right to the root of the problem all right well remember to use lube let's go outside everyone
[2370.0s] so where do we need to bring off our pirate gear well we have to age it first yeah remember
[2376.0s] we need him to think we like got it and it's all we collected it from the corners of the
[2381.5s] right adding stuff that wasn't really in the know but let's take off all the price tags and stuff
[2386.4s] oh yes that's good um i'm gonna and i take the tri-corner hat and i just like start dragging it
[2393.4s] through the dirt road really excellent excellent all right oh and you know what okay here's what
[2400.1s] we'll do though i'll stand on the keg to give better target like distance for you moots to
[2406.2s] get the sash aged yes all right so i can just like hold that up and you do a little fire spell
[2411.9s] just singe the edges i'm gonna aim very slightly aim just over top yeah this is gonna work out
[2418.7s] just like that i throw my firebolt at it well not at it but in the spot i was aiming for
[2426.1s] okay roll
[2430.6s] roll something roll for perhaps maybe dirty 20 first murder okay but also roll percentile
[2439.2s] okay 42 yeah you're wimmeren's holding it above his head and a your firebolt goes out and
[2447.9s] wimmeren you're focusing on the firebolt making sure it doesn't send your hands or anything it
[2452.0s] ignites and you you fan it out and where moot was is now a potted plant oh
[2461.0s] this is a lot more clear cut than it was last time because this is definitely him right it's
[2466.0s] not like the dog no i think it's for sure i i think oh yeah see look the pot yeah it's
[2475.5s] the same color as moot's pants you're right although and i mean though really
[2482.2s] this is a beautiful like what is this a monstera this is nice so nice it's very lush
[2491.8s] are these little flowers coming off of it it looks like it wow okay well i mean we can
[2498.2s] just bring him along like and i'm gonna pick up the plant you make it back down to the
[2503.3s] goods and you see leroy with his backs to you he's standing staring down at what you
[2509.9s] presume is the potion should we just like
[2515.2s] i don't know do we have to talk to him again he hasn't seen us yet i don't know i'm a
[2519.7s] little worried about leaving him he seems lost in butzhole like can you imagine everyone
[2525.0s] your whole life is like hey butzhole is great and it's so great that i'm going to
[2529.1s] name it after your brother and your dad but not you right i know that is mean he why is
[2535.4s] his brother butz with an s and he's just a leroi and he seems like kind of what would
[2540.6s] they call him though butz's yeah i can hear you oh oh you have very good hearing
[2549.7s] yeah well you had to hear my brother's talking about me behind my back yeah more
[2556.3s] than one brother yeah so there's butz and leroy and herald herald hole yeah so
[2568.6s] what you're trying to tell me is that your brother your brother's hairy and butz yeah like
[2575.6s] to spend a lot of time hanging out around the hole that your dad made and that makes
[2582.3s] you feel bad about yourself sometimes he finally turns around and his nose has grown out like an
[2588.9s] elephant oh oh what's wrong i don't know no i don't know what i only took a little sip
[2596.6s] oh well that's probably the problem you need to just slam that sucker back okay he's
[2603.4s] is everything he puts his hand oh my god there's a trunk here oh you know what it's probably
[2609.4s] fine i think that was there before oh oh moot claim me you're carrying me i am you were such
[2618.0s] a beautiful plant i i don't know if you know this about yourself but you're a beautiful plant
[2623.4s] wait and i'm gonna i'm gonna put him down if i'm if i drink the whole thing am i gonna
[2627.4s] turn into a plant oh i don't think so that doesn't seem to be going in that direction
[2631.8s] no that's my thing get your own thing i don't even think yeah moot doesn't even know how he
[2637.4s] did that i'm not doing it he picks up the potion and throws it down into the hole
[2642.1s] oh did anyone count how long it took it still falls have we heard it smash yet
[2650.7s] who does the sound
[2654.0s] all right so did it happen no you still don't have okay this is a really deep hole
[2659.3s] this is a deep hole those miners are right right down in butz hole there's a very quiet
[2667.0s] like then you hear screams oh no leroi why did you throw that down there leroi that was very
[2676.6s] irresponsible it evaporate like it hit and then immediately powderized oh god did you just fill
[2683.2s] butz hole with gas oh no what have i done you did it you came into butz hole wow you gave me
[2691.4s] a trunk you blew up the hole and now it's it's filling what i'm gonna move what's filling
[2697.9s] butz hole again he just turns and he's i'll talk to you guys later i think maybe probably not you're
[2705.1s] bad i gotta go home and pack i don't think i'm gonna be allowed back in butz hole anymore
[2714.1s] yeah you're gonna have to have an extra suitcase for that snot get out of here
[2717.7s] it is very important to constantly regain consent when you're in butz hole
[2722.6s] maybe we should leave we should change the sign then what's the sign say i know
[2729.7s] we only ask once everyone's welcome in butz hole yep everyone's welcome
[2738.3s] oh i thought for sure you were going with that we only ask once
[2742.2s] well as we walk out of butz hole i am dragging the rope behind me to make it all like dusty
[2748.4s] and dirty sure i assume you like hook it back up to the cart with ralph and drag it behind
[2754.3s] never even said we had ralph with us yes it's just a presumed thing oh yeah he's always with
[2759.5s] us he's our donkey okay yeah see if you have a dog playing piano somewhere that's kind of
[2765.2s] weird well especially if you brought him with us i mean especially after what happened to the
[2771.8s] last dog yeah right we're not allowed to have pets anymore you know what i i'm really looking
[2780.0s] forward to this adventure with the pirate stuff but i feel like there's something maybe
[2783.5s] drawing me back to butz hole now that i know leroys left a void there yeah i i feel like
[2791.3s] you know maybe i could take over his spot and open up my little bar shop there on a permanent
[2798.6s] basis maybe you could fill the fill the void in butz hole what do you think i haven't heard any
[2804.3s] music here that's true i feel like a smart business person zed mart opens up and you
[2810.2s] know that's going to you want to be right beside it that's the anchor you want to be
[2814.1s] kitty corner that's the anchor exactly they always buy a spot just out of town where
[2819.3s] it's a little bit cheaper and then everything fills in around them i think you'd be very
[2823.4s] smart to get in on the ground floor the research they do around the spots that they move into is
[2829.7s] just so you know that the the numbers have already been crushed it's going to be a good
[2833.7s] location and they don't have a good bard supply section yeah this is prime prime butthole real
[2841.4s] estate and i feel like i might be a fool to walk away from that because how often in your
[2846.5s] life do you literally walk up to butz hole and it's like hey come on in you're welcome
[2852.6s] you can be the king of butz hole the king of butz hole that sounds pretty good to me
[2860.3s] so i guess maybe this is where we're gonna have to part ways but i i want to give you
[2865.2s] something that will help you something that will inspire you something that will
[2870.6s] lift your spirits and guide you through when you're not sure even bahamut is listening
[2877.4s] so please the three of you sit down and i take out my bardic notebook and i draw the three of
[2884.6s] you as characters on bicycles riding through butz hole with an elephant man next to you
[2892.2s] i'll never forget this we'll cherish this forever this is amazing just always remember
[2898.6s] you're welcome back here with me in butz hole that's so nice
[2906.9s] all right guys we should probably go bidet to you sir and thanks for the tips about the
[2911.5s] shadow and thank you for teaching me of bahamut i will make sure that bahamut is heard
[2917.5s] loudly in butz hole oh his voice will echo in here
[2947.9s] so
[2962.6s] Dumbgeons and Dragons season two episode 81 starring Amy More as sully carla max that is
[2968.6s] glim tom layered as moot and Russ More as your dungeon master with guest michael howey
[2973.8s] is wim rin saris editing production and sound design by Russ More this episode featured music
[2979.0s] from epidemic sound and Kavin mccleod of incompetech.filmmusic.io and sound effects
[2984.4s] from epidemic sound a huge thank you to our supporting producers gabriel lynch jessica babyuk
[2989.7s] mark heartless stevie cat water flame jacob madden christian brown devon michaels erin stevens
[2995.8s] eric hulahan and ray surbeck to support Dumbgeons and Dragons and our many other
[3000.2s] productions and get access to an exclusive podcast bonus episodes and help us reach our
[3005.2s] next goal where we'll be hosting a live improv game for our patrons please join us at Patreon.com
[3011.4s] slash dumb dragon cast you can also follow us at facebook.com slash dumb dragon podcast
[3016.7s] and on instagram and twitter at dumb dragon cast thank you for listening have a great week
[3021.4s] and we'll talk again soon oh god google thinks i'm talking to it
[3025.3s] oh
[3031.0s] i thought it was addison i thought she was awake i was like you want me to pray
[3034.7s] prince ali from the movie Alydin playing the Alydin soundtrack i mean you can't go
[3041.6s] too wrong so no you really can't be nice backdrop oh now they're muted they're muted
[3049.6s] what stop looking at my i looked i looked once
[3060.1s] the one time i look at your notes i can read something
[3066.3s] sorry we're back
[3070.1s] do you ever think one day addison may grow up and listen to me i hope so
[3075.0s] so just in the liner notes just have it addison do not listen to this one specifically no
[3083.5s] don't worry there's no story in this one you can skip to the next one it is for boden
[3088.6s] no i'm just writing notes for future i don't even want to look down at your notes
[3095.8s] there's a lot of good good things that we could come back to here
[3098.6s] so many good things good things happen in butts hole
[3101.8s] and Dumbgeons and dragons is a dumb dragons production