previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
okay okay i need to summarize here so people get blown up out of a window giant spider attacks them
giant spider attacks me i get sticky see butterflies then spider blows up this guy
disappears then comes back there's butterflies but it's just his eyes are closed yeah i think
that pretty much sums it up okay guys all right all right this guy this is this is my friend
Wimren he came with me from Gerat Damar and i've been telling him all about Bahamut
and of course all about you guys anyway we were told by new management z and z who i'm
pretty sure run this place now that we can rifle through anything to find out you know
all the bad stuff and we found bones and bongs inside of it three missing vertebrae
and a missing bong so someone's not gonna have a good night either way i think we're missing the
point that this was a really bad dude and i don't think these bones were given voluntarily
oh oh you think this was like his like weird murder drawer yeah i think it was very
funerary you know that there's the trade routes are all up in the air right now right
no what no what's happening with that i've heard the writings about this paragraph that
explains it but i really haven't spent a lot of time looking for it um but you guys you know
i'll i'll dig around my bag as we're going i haven't written down on the
slip of paper somewhere because i thought it was important
welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons i'm your dungeon master rust more he him also with me today is
amy more oh you did that as soon as i took a drink that's you're a jerk uh she her uh and i
play sullivan slight a um lightfoot halfling rogue he him and carla max did she her i play
glim uh dragonborn pAlydin also she her and tom laird he him and i play moot who is a wild magic
half orc sorcerer and he also goes with he him and joining us again today from the end of time
another bothers michael howie he him and i'm playing wim rin saris uh he him half elf bard
real interesting start for wim rin in the last episode that we've just
seamlessly really bring in some some chaos that i like learn by doing fair you don't know unless
you throw that potion out a window where you can throw a potion is over on Patreon.com
slash dumb dragon cast and you can throw potions to us because we need items for our zed mart that
we love to shop at that's right and when you are a patron you get an episode dedicated to
you like today's patron gungan mobster gungan mobster i know them i know them you know from
discord whatever sure from discord and Patreon on the meme channel oh so many good news yes
join us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast now fuck it let's play come on let's play
moot glim and sully and your new friend wim rin uh have left the town of hard castle
and are on the road to the town of arabar but why we decided we didn't care about the two
thirds of people missing from the mystery will remain unsolved we were whatever chased out
of town after that dog portal incident or that could have been it yep i'll say you probably
have the information you need from that city and probably were asked to leave while zed and
we're still out because of the dog incident yeah and the spider attack and the explosions
i mean there were some reasons in hindsight why a town might not want us to stay i guess
well i don't know we we save the asses from that from that spider and from uh the mayor
baron but also like he could come back at any time so hopefully znz got it locked down
yeah i'm sure they'll be back in time to take care of anything that needs like
taking care of also we smashed those bones so like that probably
put some kind of kink in his terrible evil plan right okay i won't be boning
you did have to legally had to yes i it is in my contract and
dumb that people want more dick jokes you can't leave a joke on the table no you can't
i think in general oh sorry no no you go you go you go no it was another joke
if at any point there is a dick on a table questions should be asked it's true it's it's
a move yeah we're power move at staff meetings so i don't i don't recommend it especially when
you take out the big knife to just then put it down like everyone's attention to you yeah that's
right so we're going to agrabah agrabah
that's not right that's where we're going right yes and we're gonna see jasmin ali of babua
that's right don't ask me why you're going to arabar
agrabah there it is agrabah agrabah so we're on the way to dagabah yep
circle back around the servers okay okay i i've got the paper the right side up this time okay
oh this will make so much more sense yeah so it's three siblings who used to work together
their parents ran these trade routes and stuff and they've been fighting since their parents
died and there's this guy i i was told a name i don't know if i believe the name i've tried
doing some fact checking i have been unable to find any you know facts i've been able to shed
light on this situation and that's going to be funny in a moment this person's name is
the shadow allegedly i don't know how one would necessarily go about finding a shadow
because you walk into a room you try and turn on the lantern and all the shadows disappear
shadows are gone so the shadow knows what's going on also the shadow or is one of the siblings
so apparently and again this is all pieced together information from multiple towns one
paragraph upside down you can see my handwriting is very difficult i may have cried into it once
i may have accidentally used it as a tissue once yes i i'm i'm a little surprised that
it's lasted this long in my pocket but nonetheless this shadow character wants to find treasure from
some pirate aisle i don't know if that's the name of the aisle or an adjective and an aisle
and it's supposed to have these items they come together to unite the divide of these
three nations i was telling you about termish chondath and tether those are the three
nations that were controlled by this family who did all the trade routes and everything was good
but now it's falling apart the trade routes are falling apart you still owe me i think eight
gold for that double layered harmonica sully we can get to that later the invoice is
already in your pockets and i think that's part of what's going on and it's just it's
all about paperwork really no one knows who's supposed to be in charge so no one's in charge
but the shadow character seems to think if someone can find these these items and bring
them together it will somehow unite everybody some kind of some kind of magical or mystical
purpose behind this i don't really know but what i heard is that he's offering 500 gold
for every single one of the pieces that's found oh that's yeah well i i got it that
that's 39 million gold pieces per person per item wow trickle up you figured it out
i figured it out all you have to do is add four zeros and multiply i told you it would come to
you bahamut delivers now i have a very important question the shadow is definitely a nickname that
person gave themselves right oh yeah they probably grew up as something lame like mickey and were
just like you know what i need a cool nickname because no one would ever call me mickey especially
after i said it's i'm not really comfortable with that so the shadow is probably this allure
of toughness yeah if you were yeah it seems like definitely a self-given nickname it's real
it's forced it's like no one's gonna be like hey the shadow yeah so i bet we're looking for
someone like really obvious yeah also um has anyone ever considered you know in zed mot
you know aisle 12 is the pirate aisle oh like is this possibly just something we just need to
head to the zed mart and like and then upcharge them you know yeah yeah that makes sense so
what you do you go to the zed mart you pick up a couple of pirate items
dirty them up in this like you leave them buried overnight or something so they kind
of get that answer that patina yeah exactly maybe get us like a firm brush and scrape it
to give it some aging you hit it with some with some chains exactly a little bit with
some fire yeah and then you're like hey look six items 96 gazillion gold please he gives us
the gold we run right yeah that's gonna look a little suspicious but hey we already have the gold
what if we joyfully run oh like yay we have so much gold well isn't that just skipping
okay so we skip that's fine or could it be a prance yeah oh a prance or a romp perhaps
i think a romp requires flirting oh i'm okay with that are you i mean i want to learn a little bit
more about the shadow before i commit to flirting oh i don't think you have to float with the
shadow i think you just have to flirt while running oh i'm not sure if glim knows how to
flirt okay glim glim ready yes you start running towards me i'm gonna start running
towards you and we'll flirt as we pass okay okay ready okay i'm just gonna stretch it up
a little bit a few stretches two star exercises and i'm ready okay one two three
running and running and running and do you come here often so that was flirting that's
that's a romp that's all it is yeah well yeah so glim next time you just be something like
you know um say something really superficial that might actually be an insult try that
oh oh you're talking about batting batting yeah so i say something when you say something bad
but it makes it makes the other person like like want you or something yeah so i think there's
witchcraft involved i'm not entirely sure okay yeah so this is going to be bad batting while
romping so it's romping okay romping i like it you know what we should really write a book
about this we should write a book i'm already on that guys i got expertise in this area
i have been published before that's true sully is a published author awesome hey hey guys when
she said i would get money for uh all the like royalties and stuff how's she ever supposed
to find me to give me that money you'll probably have to find her yeah we'll have
to go back there yeah chasing someone down for your money just kind of sounds like
it's like you do the work and then you have to do more work to get paid for the work that
you already did i feel like i kind of got hosed a little bit it's a freelancer's life
preach gig economy this is not the first time the gig economy has come up in our
broadcast gig adventuring sidequest that's right okay so we should see if there's like
a zed mart in arabar or ask about the shadow well i mean if we okay you know what we're coming
up to this little settlement up here why don't we ask them right uh as you know i feel that
with pahamut behind me now with all that i've learned from you glim and all i'm learning
about the uptick uh i can't remember what the whole thing was called now up trickle up trickle
thank you with all we've learned about the up trickle it's really time to put it all together
and see if we can't get answers oh i yes i love your passion i think that's exactly what we
should do i don't know what's going on with these two oh now they're muted they're muted
it just like they're they're laugh arguing on you it's really interesting they both are look
it's making me laugh and they're having so much fun but but there's some kind of secret shame
behind why this is funny yes there is i read his notes guys the first time ever i could
actually read words and i was not expecting the words i read oh my i can't wait okay
save it for the downtime oh no you'll find out okay
um as um excuse me um as women had said you're coming up on a small town and uh you see it it's
it is rather small probably no more than 100 people um and you round a bend and you see a
a big sign that has the name of the town on it butts hole but but but buts hole buts hole
buts i think they have the s in the wrong place this is what i look down and see on is
it just says buts hole with an underline it's viciously underlined what's a okay i know what
a butt hole is but what's a butt like your what hold on a second your butt hole is your
butt's hole yeah okay where's the apostrophe the apostrophe it's after the t it's after the
t so it's butt hole okay it's your your butt hole it's your butt's hole so clearly this is
where someone named butt has a hole yes yep ah okay that makes someone more sense um
okay well let's go into butt's hole
oh you're 12
you guys are just having a conversation i gotta do something over here gotta write butt's hole
down what at what point in the conversation did that come to because you wrote it down just
right now that's why that's what got your attention that's why you looked over yes
at what point in our conversation were you like i've got it i've got the best idea it's
buts hole when women said there's a town up ahead and that's okay i don't pretend to know how
your motherboard works in there the booming metropolis of buts hole
that was a slow end to a sip not again and it doesn't take long to get the town center
how does buts hole look uh buts hole is uh you know it's it could be cleaner
god needs a bit of manicuring but no one's really comfortable doing it on their own
and you're really not ready to ask someone else to help you with it
it's for sure more than a two-man job yeah yeah um you know there's some overgrown hedges
uh throughout the streets are well in the middle of town by the way you make it to
the middle of the town and it um it is a large hole in the center of town with like a spiral
staircase that goes around the perimeter down to what you can presume is the the basin the
bottom of this hole i think we should check out how deep buts hole goes i mean you think
there must be something good down there because otherwise why would you build stairs
down into the hole i've got an idea oh all right there's a mathematical formula for the
speed at which something drops to measure how far down it is so all we need is something like a
pebble just to toss down the mill count how long until it hits right what about that um
purple thing you you took from hardcastle perfect idea okay so i'll take that out of
my tunic hold on a second excuse me is anyone in buts hole oh yeah hi there are you on the way
up on the way down i'm behind you you're trying to smack your husband just real hard in the
face anybody gotta watch out when people are sneaking up on buts hole right especially when
you're already in buts hole and then someone else comes in behind you it's like hey you
know what as long as we're all agreeing to it but we should have that conversation first
it's a little crowded in here i just have to say could you not stand so close to me
your breath is very hot sir yeah well it's yeah well it's all the peppers in buts hole
oh you grow a lot of peppers in buts hole sure do that's got a burn spicy or the better so
you have burning peppers in buts hole burning peppers in buts hole really makes things run
is anyone down this hole right now it's what i was screaming down and you answer from behind me
which is real weird well you don't want to scare the miners down there in buts hole oh they're
miners down there don't put your purple potion in buts hole don't put that purple potion in
buts hole there are miners in buts hole what are they digging for ah we dig for gold
haven't found much it doesn't seem like something you'd search for in buts hole what
would you search for is anyone else concerned about the miners that are in buts hole should
we call someone that doesn't seem okay no very much not okay are you you're not but are you are
you but no i'm his i'm his brother leroy oh you're leroy hole yeah no wait is it is it
hole is the last name i thought the name was but no it's it's our last name well then why
is it buts hole uh well who's butt well he's he was he was our dad and this is his whole
this is butt hole's hole no we didn't want to go with like the first the second all
that sort of stuff so uh so my brother's name is buts because there's more than one
checks out so now it should be known as buts's hole well i guess if you're into
semantics possibly but then shouldn't there be an s and then an apostrophe no because that's
his name but when there's plural assumption you don't you don't need an apostrophe but
it's more of a figurative thing look what are you guys i used to be a punctuator i know all
about where to put like you know the things in sentences and stuff yeah well i wanted to
throw this down the hole do you think that's okay no please please don't wait what is it i
don't know oh we're just trying to find out how deep the hole is what happened the last
time you threw something out of a hole uh i actually don't know i wasn't really paying
attention how do you know he threw something out of a hole he wants to throw something in a hole
who are you look it's just a you know it's just knowing you know building character developing
character he's finding character knowing who a person is glim i've forgotten this guy's
name already right yeah brother of buts hole yeah yeah hole have whose father put miners
in the but hole yeah and then gave it to his son buts hole hole you seem to have followed this
real well i'm very impressed i don't know what's going on is there gold down there though i
heard gold haven't found any yet how long have the mine has been down there that's a big hole
that okay that didn't answer my question leroy is there a zed mart in town here a zed mart sure
yeah what you just started up one last week as a matter of fact yeah we've got a megastore
it's it's a small branch uh does it have a pirate aisle probably oh guys all right
so i'll just leave this here and we'll go to the pirate aisle oh please tell me it's on the
ledge okay well you're gonna come back for it though right sure we get strong breezes out in
buts hole here don't want it to knock over okay anyway let's go to zed mart just um this
direction or yeah just down around the corner just you know okay um past the past the goods
and the goods are just around the corner oh look there's a corner still called the goods
oh okay um okay thanks it was very cryptic leroy oh no problem i'm just gonna make sure this
doesn't fall in here for you sir okay okay thanks yeah um it probably tastes pretty good it's
purple if you want to give it a sip maybe i'll come back and find out if i did later i will
i will and as we walk away that guy was a real asshole well i didn't understand like
almost anything he said seemed like a lot of conflicting information got really confusing
and somehow the names didn't really make sense and so like the dad was named butt but then the kid
was named but no the kid was named butts right because there's two of them there's two of them
and also their economy runs on hot peppers but also they're mining for gold but have never
found any so i think it might just be a hobby do whole towns have hobbies maybe i mean it
must be an up-and-coming town of zed mart opened a branch here though right i mean
they really do their research before they before they invest so i guess buts hole is like super
cool and where it's happening frankly i just feel a little weird being in buts hole yeah me
too i mean leroy brought that weird energy like coming up behind us and wait you're close
to me hot breath yeah did not like the hot breath it was moist yeah you don't like
someone breathing moistly on you it's hi hello justin true doubt come on
this is buts hole you know he was really really leaning into it
so we had that zed mart how far away is that yeah you're there
have we destroyed your will to live yet rice have you given up all hope no it's fine it's
perfect it's just the way it's it's going to but whole buts hole abandon all hope
is your own fault you named that also sorry for the 15 minute
butthole jokes just a string of butthole jokes no that's what the people pay for
welcome to the middle this is the place where we're going to talk about something
we haven't talked about previously but we don't know what it is because russ hasn't told us yet
oh we're all going to find out together it's going to be a surprise it's a discovery let's
all make one guess okay my guess is farfalle noodles my guess is russ's gift for mother's
day that he's planning oh my guess is we're getting a puppy it's going to be a golden
retriever that's the best guess amy wins ah yeah wow really setting up for failure on all fronts
i mean the farfalle knew that i was really into okay um discussing you know secret mother's
day presents you can't talk about that tom because they're secrets so my birthday my
birthday is coming up first yeah birthday that's true well it's for his mom though it's not for you
oh oh do you buy your mom's secret mother's day presents secret that's very nice that you plan
a month and a half in advance it's usually uh the day before i'm like ah shit oh this gas
station i'm driving by will have something exactly yeah who's in the show today uh
mike howey yeah yeah he is yeah no you should definitely go listen to michael uh talk about
animals on defender radio because it's a great podcast bringing awareness for animals who need
awareness farfalle noodles yeah there you go golden retrievers also see i was so close with
my guess i was your guess was the closest if we're if we're deciding who is the closest
and michael does the podcast for in like endangered and animals at risk and building
awareness for wildlife at canada canadian wildlife yeah wow so absolutely that's really
cool yep um your farfalle noodles brought me to a point i was listening to a radio show
where they were doing an interview with a person who just invented a new pasta shape
what oh wow it's the cascatelli okay and what is that the waterfall pasta shape i have never
heard of this it's got like well it's because it's brand new it was invented march 3rd 2021
we're a groundbreaking pasta here okay so it's got it's it's designed to hang on to more
sauce and be easier to be eaten with a fork so it's got like this groove down the middle
and these wavy things that go up the side it kind of looks like if you took
a lasagna noodle okay and you shrunk it down so it's not as thick and then you scooped it
like you curved it to make a u-shape yeah okay okay and then you bend it to make a rainbow
oh okay so wasn't a good sauce catcher yeah for sure all about that sauce yeah so i didn't
know people were still working on new pasta technology i thought once they made like
penises we'd reach the pinnacle and that was it that was the whole interview is like why
why even invent a new pasta shape and he's and he said why not he said why not you know
basically why why not it was not a great interview it was about four seconds long and
is it about as good as this interlude yes i think it's about as good yep yeah um so yeah
michael howey and cascatelli pasta look forward it's your local grocer the pasta not michael
howey michael howey's not available in your local grocery i don't think i mean a picture
of michael on the pasta bag like you know what cascatelli people get in touch with us and
michael and we'll we'll talk we'll cut a deal here i think you would be a great pasta
i agree yeah yeah that's the middle i
Patreon.com dumb dragon cast if you want to come join us over there we'd love that but
cascatelli pasta michael howey okay love you bye bye okay bye bye yes you make it to the
the smaller zed mart look like you know it's just a you know just a boutique shop you
enter so it's like the normal zed mart and then the zed mart that's like the mcdonald's
in the walmart yeah this is like a zed mart express sure exactly you know they have a lot
of stock but they've got to order it in right because might be what we find out
is maybe what's going to be happening usually the pirate aisle is aisle 12 but i don't think
that 12 aisles in here yeah i'm not sure we might have to ask somebody excuse me garcon
popping up from behind the desk you see steveson hello it's it's you again it's me again are you
how yeah how does this work do you travel around or is there like an intricate system of
tunnels and tubes or is it magic are we all in the same zed mart at the same time but at
different frequencies of existence and you flit between them if i pricked you would you bleed
well probably please don't please don't prick me um i would probably bleed uh well as i mentioned
previously to you zed mart's big into like pocket dimensions and like holding things and
right so moving between it means we can hire fewer people but are you like our own personal
zed mart concierge like is that how we always see you that's how it works are you however we
picture you to be i can't explain how all of the grander workings of zed mart work but if
you see me as a comfortable so what do you do when we're not in the zed mart
well i stock the shelves do you exist if we're not in the zed mart i why wouldn't i exist if
you were not in the zed mart quick go out and come back in i bet you i'll be here
yeah but we don't have time for this or do we i'm not sure how how urgent this thing is
that we're doing yeah me neither i don't remember what i said to come to this just thinking about
the i'm the one who said we should go into the town and i can't remember why now we're looking
for the pirate isle yep ah do you have a pirate isle i know this is just an express
location it's a bit smaller oh yes pirate isle isle 12 and you turn and look and where there
were not 12 isles there are now 12 isles it's big on the inside it sure is it's really more
of a grower than a shower well when in butzhole but what does one done in when in butzhole
you grow it's a growth market it is it is yeah the the gig economy hasn't quite found it yet
here it's a growth it's it's up and coming you guys are just going to keep expanding until
it's comfortable until if it fits we sits
do you feel any shame right now it's all good all right
as long as you've crossed any personal line that you have for yourself
i'm fine dignity or anything like that that's good what's dignity all right okay
okay uh well let's check down this aisle and see if there's anything is anything in your notes
that says like what these items are why is the paper always wet
were you crying i don't know oh well i mean it comes and it goes right that's how that's
that's how the emotions work they come in waves they come they overwhelm us and then
they see back into the ocean of emotion trademark that was beautiful thank you um i am accepting
tips go on just right here into my bardic bag that i keep on my side for my performances
if anyone enjoys things i've said recently and they wanted to tip me for them it's very busy
looking at various things on the store shelves i'm gonna give them a silver awesome one silver
all right well i'm not sure what the items are but based on what's on the wall here i think we
can probably come up we need six items they need to come together to unite so i don't know
what that means and it could actually say untie again my handwriting is not good so similar
it's either unite or untie um either way it should be fine well because if things can unite
they probably should be able to like un unite so yes also ropes are used on boats so maybe
like a rope should be involved somehow because that would like both unite and we could untie it
yeah that's good all right okay well they've got ye old rope here um so we can grab some
of that perfect and it's the ye old brand so it's already looks aged so we don't even
have to do any of that aging we talked about on the rope here's a pirate sash okay sash awesome
uh now should we light this one on fire a little bit maybe just around the edges to
make it seem like sense because like maybe it was used to jump over some sort of big
fire there was a cannon and then sure sure yeah yeah okay okay here's here's the plan i'm
going to hold it over my head moot i just need you to use um a very small magical spell to
give it like just a singed edge i can do that i've got just the thing for it i'm going to
use my firebolt i really don't want to be the person who says this but i'm going to say it
anyway perhaps we should pay for these items first and maybe not doing that's your fault
i know i'm coming out of my mouth that was glim okay here why why don't we gather up the
rest of the items then we'll take them outside yes then we'll do okay okay so there's we've got
what do we have we have a sash we've got the rope okay oh this tricorder hat yes oh
perfect uh here's a keg of gunpowder i think that's pretty good let me roll that along
oh i got a fuse here oh excellent excellent a fuse what are we up to now four five that's five
items just one more rubber ducky there's a rubber ducky i mean i have never known a pirate not
to have a rubber ducky i was just gonna say right it's that old trope yeah okay so all right
we'll just you know put this all onto a pile here and start walking the keg out with all
the things on top of it uh what did you find everything you were looking for we did we found
everything i think we found everything we need to both unite and untie from the pirate aisle to
to something about the trade routes and the shadow and then the siblings it's a lot of gun
three siblings powder yeah it's a lot of gun well it's such a it's such a great deal i
mean yeah you can buy it for like a hundred grams for just like a gold sure for five gold
you can literally get 300 kilograms in a barrel that's what zed mart's all about is those those
sweet sweet deals yeah the volume deals you can't beat it yeah bulk items i mean i only go
to zed mart for shop around you can't beat that price yeah all right well we'll settle up
here somebody's paid obviously uh we've got five gold for the cake of gunpowder
mm-hmm probably just like a silver for the sash yeah well silver for the sash
two silver for the tri-corner hat ye old rope it's why i left four drums in aisle 72
um and that's from my expense so i'm gonna just leave that invoice here for you
the four drums like four drums of more more gunpowder no no just for like the drums yeah
yeah yeah so i sell barding goods okay well i'm gonna just actually trade in this double harmonica
just oh i don't want to sure yeah we're we do that here you do trade right now we might
okay great just that i don't need the double harmonica zed mart and trading so harmonica
yeah the harmonica will cover the ye old rope uh pan flute yeah that'll cover the fuse no
i'm gonna keep the pan flute i oh okay sorry i'm really fallen in love with its mystical
sounds all right and then the four drums he goes and looks around the court yeah those are good
drums uh still gonna need about 20 gold for that rubber ducky though okay so here's what i'll do is
i'll give you 40 gold but then i'm gonna need you to give me back 30 gold so i can give you
200 silver and then you give me back 20 gold and it's even that way and that way i get the
change i need to be able to do my laundry on the road later i mean all that math checks out
it's happened okay thanks steve's and we'll see you i guess next time i hope maybe you will
oh and probably in a fun new location maybe i'll have a different hat you're wearing a hat
well maybe i'll have a different one yeah well a new one would be different also you did a
great job with this staff i just have to say oh yes well it fits you much better i don't
know how you were carrying it around for so long without anybody noticing it's something
we just don't talk about it's a lot of things happen like that we had a we had a cart we had a
cart we had a cot okay so you know a lot of my stuff was in the cot yeah so what i'm hearing
though is that butz hole holds a lot of secrets that's what i've heard you know we're
new in town i haven't figured them all out yet well i'll tell you what you keep penetrating
with those questions and you'll get to the core of butz hole we will yeah just repeatedly
throwing those questions hard against butz hole i'm just seeing what bounces back just until we get
right to the root of the problem all right well remember to use lube let's go outside everyone
so where do we need to bring off our pirate gear well we have to age it first yeah remember
we need him to think we like got it and it's all we collected it from the corners of the
right adding stuff that wasn't really in the know but let's take off all the price tags and stuff
oh yes that's good um i'm gonna and i take the tri-corner hat and i just like start dragging it
through the dirt road really excellent excellent all right oh and you know what okay here's what
we'll do though i'll stand on the keg to give better target like distance for you moots to
get the sash aged yes all right so i can just like hold that up and you do a little fire spell
just singe the edges i'm gonna aim very slightly aim just over top yeah this is gonna work out
just like that i throw my firebolt at it well not at it but in the spot i was aiming for
okay roll
roll something roll for perhaps maybe dirty 20 first murder okay but also roll percentile
okay 42 yeah you're wimmeren's holding it above his head and a your firebolt goes out and
wimmeren you're focusing on the firebolt making sure it doesn't send your hands or anything it
ignites and you you fan it out and where moot was is now a potted plant oh
this is a lot more clear cut than it was last time because this is definitely him right it's
not like the dog no i think it's for sure i i think oh yeah see look the pot yeah it's
the same color as moot's pants you're right although and i mean though really
this is a beautiful like what is this a monstera this is nice so nice it's very lush
are these little flowers coming off of it it looks like it wow okay well i mean we can
just bring him along like and i'm gonna pick up the plant you make it back down to the
goods and you see leroy with his backs to you he's standing staring down at what you
presume is the potion should we just like
i don't know do we have to talk to him again he hasn't seen us yet i don't know i'm a
little worried about leaving him he seems lost in butzhole like can you imagine everyone
your whole life is like hey butzhole is great and it's so great that i'm going to
name it after your brother and your dad but not you right i know that is mean he why is
his brother butz with an s and he's just a leroi and he seems like kind of what would
they call him though butz's yeah i can hear you oh oh you have very good hearing
yeah well you had to hear my brother's talking about me behind my back yeah more
than one brother yeah so there's butz and leroy and herald herald hole yeah so
what you're trying to tell me is that your brother your brother's hairy and butz yeah like
to spend a lot of time hanging out around the hole that your dad made and that makes
you feel bad about yourself sometimes he finally turns around and his nose has grown out like an
elephant oh oh what's wrong i don't know no i don't know what i only took a little sip
oh well that's probably the problem you need to just slam that sucker back okay he's
is everything he puts his hand oh my god there's a trunk here oh you know what it's probably
fine i think that was there before oh oh moot claim me you're carrying me i am you were such
a beautiful plant i i don't know if you know this about yourself but you're a beautiful plant
wait and i'm gonna i'm gonna put him down if i'm if i drink the whole thing am i gonna
turn into a plant oh i don't think so that doesn't seem to be going in that direction
no that's my thing get your own thing i don't even think yeah moot doesn't even know how he
did that i'm not doing it he picks up the potion and throws it down into the hole
oh did anyone count how long it took it still falls have we heard it smash yet
who does the sound
all right so did it happen no you still don't have okay this is a really deep hole
this is a deep hole those miners are right right down in butz hole there's a very quiet
like then you hear screams oh no leroi why did you throw that down there leroi that was very
irresponsible it evaporate like it hit and then immediately powderized oh god did you just fill
butz hole with gas oh no what have i done you did it you came into butz hole wow you gave me
a trunk you blew up the hole and now it's it's filling what i'm gonna move what's filling
butz hole again he just turns and he's i'll talk to you guys later i think maybe probably not you're
bad i gotta go home and pack i don't think i'm gonna be allowed back in butz hole anymore
yeah you're gonna have to have an extra suitcase for that snot get out of here
it is very important to constantly regain consent when you're in butz hole
maybe we should leave we should change the sign then what's the sign say i know
we only ask once everyone's welcome in butz hole yep everyone's welcome
oh i thought for sure you were going with that we only ask once
well as we walk out of butz hole i am dragging the rope behind me to make it all like dusty
and dirty sure i assume you like hook it back up to the cart with ralph and drag it behind
never even said we had ralph with us yes it's just a presumed thing oh yeah he's always with
us he's our donkey okay yeah see if you have a dog playing piano somewhere that's kind of
weird well especially if you brought him with us i mean especially after what happened to the
last dog yeah right we're not allowed to have pets anymore you know what i i'm really looking
forward to this adventure with the pirate stuff but i feel like there's something maybe
drawing me back to butz hole now that i know leroys left a void there yeah i i feel like
you know maybe i could take over his spot and open up my little bar shop there on a permanent
basis maybe you could fill the fill the void in butz hole what do you think i haven't heard any
music here that's true i feel like a smart business person zed mart opens up and you
know that's going to you want to be right beside it that's the anchor you want to be
kitty corner that's the anchor exactly they always buy a spot just out of town where
it's a little bit cheaper and then everything fills in around them i think you'd be very
smart to get in on the ground floor the research they do around the spots that they move into is
just so you know that the the numbers have already been crushed it's going to be a good
location and they don't have a good bard supply section yeah this is prime prime butthole real
estate and i feel like i might be a fool to walk away from that because how often in your
life do you literally walk up to butz hole and it's like hey come on in you're welcome
you can be the king of butz hole the king of butz hole that sounds pretty good to me
so i guess maybe this is where we're gonna have to part ways but i i want to give you
something that will help you something that will inspire you something that will
lift your spirits and guide you through when you're not sure even bahamut is listening
so please the three of you sit down and i take out my bardic notebook and i draw the three of
you as characters on bicycles riding through butz hole with an elephant man next to you
i'll never forget this we'll cherish this forever this is amazing just always remember
you're welcome back here with me in butz hole that's so nice
all right guys we should probably go bidet to you sir and thanks for the tips about the
shadow and thank you for teaching me of bahamut i will make sure that bahamut is heard
loudly in butz hole oh his voice will echo in here
so
Dumbgeons and Dragons season two episode 81 starring Amy More as sully carla max that is
glim tom layered as moot and Russ More as your dungeon master with guest michael howey
is wim rin saris editing production and sound design by Russ More this episode featured music
from epidemic sound and Kavin mccleod of incompetech.filmmusic.io and sound effects
from epidemic sound a huge thank you to our supporting producers gabriel lynch jessica babyuk
mark heartless stevie cat water flame jacob madden christian brown devon michaels erin stevens
eric hulahan and ray surbeck to support Dumbgeons and Dragons and our many other
productions and get access to an exclusive podcast bonus episodes and help us reach our
next goal where we'll be hosting a live improv game for our patrons please join us at Patreon.com
slash dumb dragon cast you can also follow us at facebook.com slash dumb dragon podcast
and on instagram and twitter at dumb dragon cast thank you for listening have a great week
and we'll talk again soon oh god google thinks i'm talking to it
oh
i thought it was addison i thought she was awake i was like you want me to pray
prince ali from the movie Alydin playing the Alydin soundtrack i mean you can't go
too wrong so no you really can't be nice backdrop oh now they're muted they're muted
what stop looking at my i looked i looked once
the one time i look at your notes i can read something
sorry we're back
do you ever think one day addison may grow up and listen to me i hope so
so just in the liner notes just have it addison do not listen to this one specifically no
don't worry there's no story in this one you can skip to the next one it is for boden
no i'm just writing notes for future i don't even want to look down at your notes
there's a lot of good good things that we could come back to here
so many good things good things happen in butts hole
and Dumbgeons and dragons is a dumb dragons production