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previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.

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okay okay i need to summarize here so people get blown up out of a window giant spider attacks them

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giant spider attacks me i get sticky see butterflies then spider blows up this guy

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disappears then comes back there's butterflies but it's just his eyes are closed yeah i think

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that pretty much sums it up okay guys all right all right this guy this is this is my friend

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Wimren he came with me from Gerat Damar and i've been telling him all about Bahamut

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and of course all about you guys anyway we were told by new management z and z who i'm

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pretty sure run this place now that we can rifle through anything to find out you know

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all the bad stuff and we found bones and bongs inside of it three missing vertebrae

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and a missing bong so someone's not gonna have a good night either way i think we're missing the

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point that this was a really bad dude and i don't think these bones were given voluntarily

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oh oh you think this was like his like weird murder drawer yeah i think it was very

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funerary you know that there's the trade routes are all up in the air right now right

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no what no what's happening with that i've heard the writings about this paragraph that

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explains it but i really haven't spent a lot of time looking for it um but you guys you know

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i'll i'll dig around my bag as we're going i haven't written down on the

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slip of paper somewhere because i thought it was important

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welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons i'm your dungeon master rust more he him also with me today is

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amy more oh you did that as soon as i took a drink that's you're a jerk uh she her uh and i

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play sullivan slight a um lightfoot halfling rogue he him and carla max did she her i play

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glim uh dragonborn pAlydin also she her and tom laird he him and i play moot who is a wild magic

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half orc sorcerer and he also goes with he him and joining us again today from the end of time

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another bothers michael howie he him and i'm playing wim rin saris uh he him half elf bard

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real interesting start for wim rin in the last episode that we've just

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seamlessly really bring in some some chaos that i like learn by doing fair you don't know unless

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you throw that potion out a window where you can throw a potion is over on Patreon.com

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slash dumb dragon cast and you can throw potions to us because we need items for our zed mart that

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we love to shop at that's right and when you are a patron you get an episode dedicated to

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you like today's patron gungan mobster gungan mobster i know them i know them you know from

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discord whatever sure from discord and Patreon on the meme channel oh so many good news yes

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join us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast now fuck it let's play come on let's play

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moot glim and sully and your new friend wim rin uh have left the town of hard castle

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and are on the road to the town of arabar but why we decided we didn't care about the two

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thirds of people missing from the mystery will remain unsolved we were whatever chased out

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of town after that dog portal incident or that could have been it yep i'll say you probably

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have the information you need from that city and probably were asked to leave while zed and

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we're still out because of the dog incident yeah and the spider attack and the explosions

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i mean there were some reasons in hindsight why a town might not want us to stay i guess

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well i don't know we we save the asses from that from that spider and from uh the mayor

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baron but also like he could come back at any time so hopefully znz got it locked down

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yeah i'm sure they'll be back in time to take care of anything that needs like

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taking care of also we smashed those bones so like that probably

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put some kind of kink in his terrible evil plan right okay i won't be boning

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you did have to legally had to yes i it is in my contract and

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dumb that people want more dick jokes you can't leave a joke on the table no you can't

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i think in general oh sorry no no you go you go you go no it was another joke

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if at any point there is a dick on a table questions should be asked it's true it's it's

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a move yeah we're power move at staff meetings so i don't i don't recommend it especially when

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you take out the big knife to just then put it down like everyone's attention to you yeah that's

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right so we're going to agrabah agrabah

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that's not right that's where we're going right yes and we're gonna see jasmin ali of babua

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that's right don't ask me why you're going to arabar

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agrabah there it is agrabah agrabah so we're on the way to dagabah yep

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circle back around the servers okay okay i i've got the paper the right side up this time okay

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oh this will make so much more sense yeah so it's three siblings who used to work together

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their parents ran these trade routes and stuff and they've been fighting since their parents

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died and there's this guy i i was told a name i don't know if i believe the name i've tried

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doing some fact checking i have been unable to find any you know facts i've been able to shed

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light on this situation and that's going to be funny in a moment this person's name is

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the shadow allegedly i don't know how one would necessarily go about finding a shadow

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because you walk into a room you try and turn on the lantern and all the shadows disappear

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shadows are gone so the shadow knows what's going on also the shadow or is one of the siblings

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so apparently and again this is all pieced together information from multiple towns one

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paragraph upside down you can see my handwriting is very difficult i may have cried into it once

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i may have accidentally used it as a tissue once yes i i'm i'm a little surprised that

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it's lasted this long in my pocket but nonetheless this shadow character wants to find treasure from

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some pirate aisle i don't know if that's the name of the aisle or an adjective and an aisle

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and it's supposed to have these items they come together to unite the divide of these

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three nations i was telling you about termish chondath and tether those are the three

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nations that were controlled by this family who did all the trade routes and everything was good

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but now it's falling apart the trade routes are falling apart you still owe me i think eight

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gold for that double layered harmonica sully we can get to that later the invoice is

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already in your pockets and i think that's part of what's going on and it's just it's

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all about paperwork really no one knows who's supposed to be in charge so no one's in charge

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but the shadow character seems to think if someone can find these these items and bring

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them together it will somehow unite everybody some kind of some kind of magical or mystical

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purpose behind this i don't really know but what i heard is that he's offering 500 gold

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for every single one of the pieces that's found oh that's yeah well i i got it that

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that's 39 million gold pieces per person per item wow trickle up you figured it out

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i figured it out all you have to do is add four zeros and multiply i told you it would come to

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you bahamut delivers now i have a very important question the shadow is definitely a nickname that

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person gave themselves right oh yeah they probably grew up as something lame like mickey and were

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just like you know what i need a cool nickname because no one would ever call me mickey especially

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after i said it's i'm not really comfortable with that so the shadow is probably this allure

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of toughness yeah if you were yeah it seems like definitely a self-given nickname it's real

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it's forced it's like no one's gonna be like hey the shadow yeah so i bet we're looking for

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someone like really obvious yeah also um has anyone ever considered you know in zed mot

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you know aisle 12 is the pirate aisle oh like is this possibly just something we just need to

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head to the zed mart and like and then upcharge them you know yeah yeah that makes sense so

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what you do you go to the zed mart you pick up a couple of pirate items

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dirty them up in this like you leave them buried overnight or something so they kind

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of get that answer that patina yeah exactly maybe get us like a firm brush and scrape it

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to give it some aging you hit it with some with some chains exactly a little bit with

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some fire yeah and then you're like hey look six items 96 gazillion gold please he gives us

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the gold we run right yeah that's gonna look a little suspicious but hey we already have the gold

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what if we joyfully run oh like yay we have so much gold well isn't that just skipping

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okay so we skip that's fine or could it be a prance yeah oh a prance or a romp perhaps

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i think a romp requires flirting oh i'm okay with that are you i mean i want to learn a little bit

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more about the shadow before i commit to flirting oh i don't think you have to float with the

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shadow i think you just have to flirt while running oh i'm not sure if glim knows how to

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flirt okay glim glim ready yes you start running towards me i'm gonna start running

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towards you and we'll flirt as we pass okay okay ready okay i'm just gonna stretch it up

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a little bit a few stretches two star exercises and i'm ready okay one two three

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running and running and running and do you come here often so that was flirting that's

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that's a romp that's all it is yeah well yeah so glim next time you just be something like

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you know um say something really superficial that might actually be an insult try that

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oh oh you're talking about batting batting yeah so i say something when you say something bad

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but it makes it makes the other person like like want you or something yeah so i think there's

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witchcraft involved i'm not entirely sure okay yeah so this is going to be bad batting while

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romping so it's romping okay romping i like it you know what we should really write a book

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about this we should write a book i'm already on that guys i got expertise in this area

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i have been published before that's true sully is a published author awesome hey hey guys when

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she said i would get money for uh all the like royalties and stuff how's she ever supposed

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to find me to give me that money you'll probably have to find her yeah we'll have

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to go back there yeah chasing someone down for your money just kind of sounds like

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it's like you do the work and then you have to do more work to get paid for the work that

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you already did i feel like i kind of got hosed a little bit it's a freelancer's life

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preach gig economy this is not the first time the gig economy has come up in our

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broadcast gig adventuring sidequest that's right okay so we should see if there's like

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a zed mart in arabar or ask about the shadow well i mean if we okay you know what we're coming

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up to this little settlement up here why don't we ask them right uh as you know i feel that

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with pahamut behind me now with all that i've learned from you glim and all i'm learning

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about the uptick uh i can't remember what the whole thing was called now up trickle up trickle

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thank you with all we've learned about the up trickle it's really time to put it all together

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and see if we can't get answers oh i yes i love your passion i think that's exactly what we

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should do i don't know what's going on with these two oh now they're muted they're muted

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it just like they're they're laugh arguing on you it's really interesting they both are look

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it's making me laugh and they're having so much fun but but there's some kind of secret shame

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behind why this is funny yes there is i read his notes guys the first time ever i could

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actually read words and i was not expecting the words i read oh my i can't wait okay

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save it for the downtime oh no you'll find out okay

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um as um excuse me um as women had said you're coming up on a small town and uh you see it it's

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it is rather small probably no more than 100 people um and you round a bend and you see a

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a big sign that has the name of the town on it butts hole but but but buts hole buts hole

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buts i think they have the s in the wrong place this is what i look down and see on is

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it just says buts hole with an underline it's viciously underlined what's a okay i know what

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a butt hole is but what's a butt like your what hold on a second your butt hole is your

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butt's hole yeah okay where's the apostrophe the apostrophe it's after the t it's after the

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t so it's butt hole okay it's your your butt hole it's your butt's hole so clearly this is

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where someone named butt has a hole yes yep ah okay that makes someone more sense um

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okay well let's go into butt's hole

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oh you're 12

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you guys are just having a conversation i gotta do something over here gotta write butt's hole

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down what at what point in the conversation did that come to because you wrote it down just

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right now that's why that's what got your attention that's why you looked over yes

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at what point in our conversation were you like i've got it i've got the best idea it's

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buts hole when women said there's a town up ahead and that's okay i don't pretend to know how

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your motherboard works in there the booming metropolis of buts hole

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that was a slow end to a sip not again and it doesn't take long to get the town center

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how does buts hole look uh buts hole is uh you know it's it could be cleaner

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god needs a bit of manicuring but no one's really comfortable doing it on their own

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and you're really not ready to ask someone else to help you with it

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it's for sure more than a two-man job yeah yeah um you know there's some overgrown hedges

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uh throughout the streets are well in the middle of town by the way you make it to

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the middle of the town and it um it is a large hole in the center of town with like a spiral

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staircase that goes around the perimeter down to what you can presume is the the basin the

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bottom of this hole i think we should check out how deep buts hole goes i mean you think

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there must be something good down there because otherwise why would you build stairs

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down into the hole i've got an idea oh all right there's a mathematical formula for the

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speed at which something drops to measure how far down it is so all we need is something like a

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pebble just to toss down the mill count how long until it hits right what about that um

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purple thing you you took from hardcastle perfect idea okay so i'll take that out of

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my tunic hold on a second excuse me is anyone in buts hole oh yeah hi there are you on the way

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up on the way down i'm behind you you're trying to smack your husband just real hard in the

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face anybody gotta watch out when people are sneaking up on buts hole right especially when

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you're already in buts hole and then someone else comes in behind you it's like hey you

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know what as long as we're all agreeing to it but we should have that conversation first

168
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it's a little crowded in here i just have to say could you not stand so close to me

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your breath is very hot sir yeah well it's yeah well it's all the peppers in buts hole

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oh you grow a lot of peppers in buts hole sure do that's got a burn spicy or the better so

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you have burning peppers in buts hole burning peppers in buts hole really makes things run

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is anyone down this hole right now it's what i was screaming down and you answer from behind me

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which is real weird well you don't want to scare the miners down there in buts hole oh they're

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miners down there don't put your purple potion in buts hole don't put that purple potion in

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buts hole there are miners in buts hole what are they digging for ah we dig for gold

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haven't found much it doesn't seem like something you'd search for in buts hole what

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would you search for is anyone else concerned about the miners that are in buts hole should

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we call someone that doesn't seem okay no very much not okay are you you're not but are you are

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you but no i'm his i'm his brother leroy oh you're leroy hole yeah no wait is it is it

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hole is the last name i thought the name was but no it's it's our last name well then why

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is it buts hole uh well who's butt well he's he was he was our dad and this is his whole

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this is butt hole's hole no we didn't want to go with like the first the second all

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that sort of stuff so uh so my brother's name is buts because there's more than one

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checks out so now it should be known as buts's hole well i guess if you're into

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semantics possibly but then shouldn't there be an s and then an apostrophe no because that's

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his name but when there's plural assumption you don't you don't need an apostrophe but

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it's more of a figurative thing look what are you guys i used to be a punctuator i know all

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about where to put like you know the things in sentences and stuff yeah well i wanted to

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throw this down the hole do you think that's okay no please please don't wait what is it i

190
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don't know oh we're just trying to find out how deep the hole is what happened the last

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time you threw something out of a hole uh i actually don't know i wasn't really paying

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attention how do you know he threw something out of a hole he wants to throw something in a hole

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who are you look it's just a you know it's just knowing you know building character developing

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character he's finding character knowing who a person is glim i've forgotten this guy's

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name already right yeah brother of buts hole yeah yeah hole have whose father put miners

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in the but hole yeah and then gave it to his son buts hole hole you seem to have followed this

197
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real well i'm very impressed i don't know what's going on is there gold down there though i

198
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heard gold haven't found any yet how long have the mine has been down there that's a big hole

199
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that okay that didn't answer my question leroy is there a zed mart in town here a zed mart sure

200
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:08,400
yeah what you just started up one last week as a matter of fact yeah we've got a megastore

201
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it's it's a small branch uh does it have a pirate aisle probably oh guys all right

202
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so i'll just leave this here and we'll go to the pirate aisle oh please tell me it's on the

203
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ledge okay well you're gonna come back for it though right sure we get strong breezes out in

204
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buts hole here don't want it to knock over okay anyway let's go to zed mart just um this

205
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direction or yeah just down around the corner just you know okay um past the past the goods

206
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and the goods are just around the corner oh look there's a corner still called the goods

207
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oh okay um okay thanks it was very cryptic leroy oh no problem i'm just gonna make sure this

208
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doesn't fall in here for you sir okay okay thanks yeah um it probably tastes pretty good it's

209
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purple if you want to give it a sip maybe i'll come back and find out if i did later i will

210
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i will and as we walk away that guy was a real asshole well i didn't understand like

211
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almost anything he said seemed like a lot of conflicting information got really confusing

212
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and somehow the names didn't really make sense and so like the dad was named butt but then the kid

213
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was named but no the kid was named butts right because there's two of them there's two of them

214
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and also their economy runs on hot peppers but also they're mining for gold but have never

215
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found any so i think it might just be a hobby do whole towns have hobbies maybe i mean it

216
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must be an up-and-coming town of zed mart opened a branch here though right i mean

217
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they really do their research before they before they invest so i guess buts hole is like super

218
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cool and where it's happening frankly i just feel a little weird being in buts hole yeah me

219
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:04,159
too i mean leroy brought that weird energy like coming up behind us and wait you're close

220
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to me hot breath yeah did not like the hot breath it was moist yeah you don't like

221
00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:15,840
someone breathing moistly on you it's hi hello justin true doubt come on

222
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this is buts hole you know he was really really leaning into it

223
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so we had that zed mart how far away is that yeah you're there

224
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have we destroyed your will to live yet rice have you given up all hope no it's fine it's

225
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perfect it's just the way it's it's going to but whole buts hole abandon all hope

226
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:47,920
is your own fault you named that also sorry for the 15 minute

227
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:53,520
butthole jokes just a string of butthole jokes no that's what the people pay for

228
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:09,120
welcome to the middle this is the place where we're going to talk about something

229
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we haven't talked about previously but we don't know what it is because russ hasn't told us yet

230
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oh we're all going to find out together it's going to be a surprise it's a discovery let's

231
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all make one guess okay my guess is farfalle noodles my guess is russ's gift for mother's

232
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day that he's planning oh my guess is we're getting a puppy it's going to be a golden

233
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retriever that's the best guess amy wins ah yeah wow really setting up for failure on all fronts

234
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i mean the farfalle knew that i was really into okay um discussing you know secret mother's

235
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day presents you can't talk about that tom because they're secrets so my birthday my

236
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birthday is coming up first yeah birthday that's true well it's for his mom though it's not for you

237
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oh oh do you buy your mom's secret mother's day presents secret that's very nice that you plan

238
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a month and a half in advance it's usually uh the day before i'm like ah shit oh this gas

239
00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:17,279
station i'm driving by will have something exactly yeah who's in the show today uh

240
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:26,879
mike howey yeah yeah he is yeah no you should definitely go listen to michael uh talk about

241
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animals on defender radio because it's a great podcast bringing awareness for animals who need

242
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awareness farfalle noodles yeah there you go golden retrievers also see i was so close with

243
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my guess i was your guess was the closest if we're if we're deciding who is the closest

244
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and michael does the podcast for in like endangered and animals at risk and building

245
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awareness for wildlife at canada canadian wildlife yeah wow so absolutely that's really

246
00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:05,279
cool yep um your farfalle noodles brought me to a point i was listening to a radio show

247
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where they were doing an interview with a person who just invented a new pasta shape

248
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what oh wow it's the cascatelli okay and what is that the waterfall pasta shape i have never

249
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:21,920
heard of this it's got like well it's because it's brand new it was invented march 3rd 2021

250
00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:30,400
we're a groundbreaking pasta here okay so it's got it's it's designed to hang on to more

251
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sauce and be easier to be eaten with a fork so it's got like this groove down the middle

252
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and these wavy things that go up the side it kind of looks like if you took

253
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a lasagna noodle okay and you shrunk it down so it's not as thick and then you scooped it

254
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like you curved it to make a u-shape yeah okay okay and then you bend it to make a rainbow

255
00:27:55,839 --> 00:28:02,079
oh okay so wasn't a good sauce catcher yeah for sure all about that sauce yeah so i didn't

256
00:28:02,079 --> 00:28:06,399
know people were still working on new pasta technology i thought once they made like

257
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penises we'd reach the pinnacle and that was it that was the whole interview is like why

258
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why even invent a new pasta shape and he's and he said why not he said why not you know

259
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:23,839
basically why why not it was not a great interview it was about four seconds long and

260
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is it about as good as this interlude yes i think it's about as good yep yeah um so yeah

261
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:36,480
michael howey and cascatelli pasta look forward it's your local grocer the pasta not michael

262
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howey michael howey's not available in your local grocery i don't think i mean a picture

263
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of michael on the pasta bag like you know what cascatelli people get in touch with us and

264
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:51,600
michael and we'll we'll talk we'll cut a deal here i think you would be a great pasta

265
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i agree yeah yeah that's the middle i

266
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Patreon.com dumb dragon cast if you want to come join us over there we'd love that but

267
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cascatelli pasta michael howey okay love you bye bye okay bye bye yes you make it to the

268
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:14,000
the smaller zed mart look like you know it's just a you know just a boutique shop you

269
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enter so it's like the normal zed mart and then the zed mart that's like the mcdonald's

270
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in the walmart yeah this is like a zed mart express sure exactly you know they have a lot

271
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of stock but they've got to order it in right because might be what we find out

272
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is maybe what's going to be happening usually the pirate aisle is aisle 12 but i don't think

273
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that 12 aisles in here yeah i'm not sure we might have to ask somebody excuse me garcon

274
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popping up from behind the desk you see steveson hello it's it's you again it's me again are you

275
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how yeah how does this work do you travel around or is there like an intricate system of

276
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tunnels and tubes or is it magic are we all in the same zed mart at the same time but at

277
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different frequencies of existence and you flit between them if i pricked you would you bleed

278
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well probably please don't please don't prick me um i would probably bleed uh well as i mentioned

279
00:30:23,439 --> 00:30:27,919
previously to you zed mart's big into like pocket dimensions and like holding things and

280
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right so moving between it means we can hire fewer people but are you like our own personal

281
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zed mart concierge like is that how we always see you that's how it works are you however we

282
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:50,320
picture you to be i can't explain how all of the grander workings of zed mart work but if

283
00:30:50,399 --> 00:30:57,200
you see me as a comfortable so what do you do when we're not in the zed mart

284
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well i stock the shelves do you exist if we're not in the zed mart i why wouldn't i exist if

285
00:31:07,119 --> 00:31:11,200
you were not in the zed mart quick go out and come back in i bet you i'll be here

286
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:18,799
yeah but we don't have time for this or do we i'm not sure how how urgent this thing is

287
00:31:18,799 --> 00:31:26,480
that we're doing yeah me neither i don't remember what i said to come to this just thinking about

288
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:31,839
the i'm the one who said we should go into the town and i can't remember why now we're looking

289
00:31:31,839 --> 00:31:37,680
for the pirate isle yep ah do you have a pirate isle i know this is just an express

290
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:42,639
location it's a bit smaller oh yes pirate isle isle 12 and you turn and look and where there

291
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:50,160
were not 12 isles there are now 12 isles it's big on the inside it sure is it's really more

292
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:55,680
of a grower than a shower well when in butzhole but what does one done in when in butzhole

293
00:31:56,720 --> 00:32:04,160
you grow it's a growth market it is it is yeah the the gig economy hasn't quite found it yet

294
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:08,240
here it's a growth it's it's up and coming you guys are just going to keep expanding until

295
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,759
it's comfortable until if it fits we sits

296
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:21,759
do you feel any shame right now it's all good all right

297
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:26,240
as long as you've crossed any personal line that you have for yourself

298
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:30,720
i'm fine dignity or anything like that that's good what's dignity all right okay

299
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:40,880
okay uh well let's check down this aisle and see if there's anything is anything in your notes

300
00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:48,480
that says like what these items are why is the paper always wet

301
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:54,559
were you crying i don't know oh well i mean it comes and it goes right that's how that's

302
00:32:54,559 --> 00:32:59,759
that's how the emotions work they come in waves they come they overwhelm us and then

303
00:32:59,759 --> 00:33:09,680
they see back into the ocean of emotion trademark that was beautiful thank you um i am accepting

304
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:18,960
tips go on just right here into my bardic bag that i keep on my side for my performances

305
00:33:20,079 --> 00:33:25,519
if anyone enjoys things i've said recently and they wanted to tip me for them it's very busy

306
00:33:25,519 --> 00:33:31,359
looking at various things on the store shelves i'm gonna give them a silver awesome one silver

307
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:37,039
all right well i'm not sure what the items are but based on what's on the wall here i think we

308
00:33:37,039 --> 00:33:43,279
can probably come up we need six items they need to come together to unite so i don't know

309
00:33:43,279 --> 00:33:48,960
what that means and it could actually say untie again my handwriting is not good so similar

310
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:56,559
it's either unite or untie um either way it should be fine well because if things can unite

311
00:33:56,559 --> 00:34:04,480
they probably should be able to like un unite so yes also ropes are used on boats so maybe

312
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:11,119
like a rope should be involved somehow because that would like both unite and we could untie it

313
00:34:11,119 --> 00:34:16,960
yeah that's good all right okay well they've got ye old rope here um so we can grab some

314
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:21,199
of that perfect and it's the ye old brand so it's already looks aged so we don't even

315
00:34:21,199 --> 00:34:28,639
have to do any of that aging we talked about on the rope here's a pirate sash okay sash awesome

316
00:34:28,639 --> 00:34:33,760
uh now should we light this one on fire a little bit maybe just around the edges to

317
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:38,320
make it seem like sense because like maybe it was used to jump over some sort of big

318
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:44,159
fire there was a cannon and then sure sure yeah yeah okay okay here's here's the plan i'm

319
00:34:44,159 --> 00:34:54,000
going to hold it over my head moot i just need you to use um a very small magical spell to

320
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:58,960
give it like just a singed edge i can do that i've got just the thing for it i'm going to

321
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:05,039
use my firebolt i really don't want to be the person who says this but i'm going to say it

322
00:35:05,039 --> 00:35:12,480
anyway perhaps we should pay for these items first and maybe not doing that's your fault

323
00:35:12,559 --> 00:35:17,679
i know i'm coming out of my mouth that was glim okay here why why don't we gather up the

324
00:35:17,679 --> 00:35:22,960
rest of the items then we'll take them outside yes then we'll do okay okay so there's we've got

325
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:29,360
what do we have we have a sash we've got the rope okay oh this tricorder hat yes oh

326
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:35,519
perfect uh here's a keg of gunpowder i think that's pretty good let me roll that along

327
00:35:35,519 --> 00:35:42,719
oh i got a fuse here oh excellent excellent a fuse what are we up to now four five that's five

328
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:51,039
items just one more rubber ducky there's a rubber ducky i mean i have never known a pirate not

329
00:35:51,039 --> 00:35:55,679
to have a rubber ducky i was just gonna say right it's that old trope yeah okay so all right

330
00:35:55,679 --> 00:36:03,039
we'll just you know put this all onto a pile here and start walking the keg out with all

331
00:36:03,039 --> 00:36:08,960
the things on top of it uh what did you find everything you were looking for we did we found

332
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:16,000
everything i think we found everything we need to both unite and untie from the pirate aisle to

333
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:21,519
to something about the trade routes and the shadow and then the siblings it's a lot of gun

334
00:36:21,519 --> 00:36:27,119
three siblings powder yeah it's a lot of gun well it's such a it's such a great deal i

335
00:36:27,119 --> 00:36:32,400
mean yeah you can buy it for like a hundred grams for just like a gold sure for five gold

336
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:38,400
you can literally get 300 kilograms in a barrel that's what zed mart's all about is those those

337
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:44,400
sweet sweet deals yeah the volume deals you can't beat it yeah bulk items i mean i only go

338
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:49,440
to zed mart for shop around you can't beat that price yeah all right well we'll settle up

339
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:54,559
here somebody's paid obviously uh we've got five gold for the cake of gunpowder

340
00:36:55,199 --> 00:37:01,599
mm-hmm probably just like a silver for the sash yeah well silver for the sash

341
00:37:02,159 --> 00:37:09,679
two silver for the tri-corner hat ye old rope it's why i left four drums in aisle 72

342
00:37:09,679 --> 00:37:14,159
um and that's from my expense so i'm gonna just leave that invoice here for you

343
00:37:15,039 --> 00:37:21,679
the four drums like four drums of more more gunpowder no no just for like the drums yeah

344
00:37:21,679 --> 00:37:28,960
yeah yeah so i sell barding goods okay well i'm gonna just actually trade in this double harmonica

345
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:36,239
just oh i don't want to sure yeah we're we do that here you do trade right now we might

346
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:41,599
okay great just that i don't need the double harmonica zed mart and trading so harmonica

347
00:37:41,599 --> 00:37:46,399
yeah the harmonica will cover the ye old rope uh pan flute yeah that'll cover the fuse no

348
00:37:46,399 --> 00:37:50,799
i'm gonna keep the pan flute i oh okay sorry i'm really fallen in love with its mystical

349
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:54,800
sounds all right and then the four drums he goes and looks around the court yeah those are good

350
00:37:54,800 --> 00:38:00,960
drums uh still gonna need about 20 gold for that rubber ducky though okay so here's what i'll do is

351
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:06,320
i'll give you 40 gold but then i'm gonna need you to give me back 30 gold so i can give you

352
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:12,080
200 silver and then you give me back 20 gold and it's even that way and that way i get the

353
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:17,920
change i need to be able to do my laundry on the road later i mean all that math checks out

354
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:23,440
it's happened okay thanks steve's and we'll see you i guess next time i hope maybe you will

355
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:28,960
oh and probably in a fun new location maybe i'll have a different hat you're wearing a hat

356
00:38:30,639 --> 00:38:36,079
well maybe i'll have a different one yeah well a new one would be different also you did a

357
00:38:36,079 --> 00:38:41,920
great job with this staff i just have to say oh yes well it fits you much better i don't

358
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:47,440
know how you were carrying it around for so long without anybody noticing it's something

359
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:56,960
we just don't talk about it's a lot of things happen like that we had a we had a cart we had a

360
00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:03,599
cart we had a cot okay so you know a lot of my stuff was in the cot yeah so what i'm hearing

361
00:39:03,599 --> 00:39:07,599
though is that butz hole holds a lot of secrets that's what i've heard you know we're

362
00:39:07,599 --> 00:39:11,920
new in town i haven't figured them all out yet well i'll tell you what you keep penetrating

363
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:16,559
with those questions and you'll get to the core of butz hole we will yeah just repeatedly

364
00:39:17,199 --> 00:39:23,199
throwing those questions hard against butz hole i'm just seeing what bounces back just until we get

365
00:39:23,199 --> 00:39:27,599
right to the root of the problem all right well remember to use lube let's go outside everyone

366
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:36,000
so where do we need to bring off our pirate gear well we have to age it first yeah remember

367
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:41,519
we need him to think we like got it and it's all we collected it from the corners of the

368
00:39:41,519 --> 00:39:46,400
right adding stuff that wasn't really in the know but let's take off all the price tags and stuff

369
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:53,440
oh yes that's good um i'm gonna and i take the tri-corner hat and i just like start dragging it

370
00:39:53,440 --> 00:40:00,079
through the dirt road really excellent excellent all right oh and you know what okay here's what

371
00:40:00,079 --> 00:40:06,079
we'll do though i'll stand on the keg to give better target like distance for you moots to

372
00:40:06,159 --> 00:40:11,920
get the sash aged yes all right so i can just like hold that up and you do a little fire spell

373
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:18,000
just singe the edges i'm gonna aim very slightly aim just over top yeah this is gonna work out

374
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:25,119
just like that i throw my firebolt at it well not at it but in the spot i was aiming for

375
00:40:26,079 --> 00:40:28,000
okay roll

376
00:40:30,639 --> 00:40:38,400
roll something roll for perhaps maybe dirty 20 first murder okay but also roll percentile

377
00:40:39,199 --> 00:40:47,920
okay 42 yeah you're wimmeren's holding it above his head and a your firebolt goes out and

378
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:52,000
wimmeren you're focusing on the firebolt making sure it doesn't send your hands or anything it

379
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:57,519
ignites and you you fan it out and where moot was is now a potted plant oh

380
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:06,000
this is a lot more clear cut than it was last time because this is definitely him right it's

381
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:15,440
not like the dog no i think it's for sure i i think oh yeah see look the pot yeah it's

382
00:41:15,519 --> 00:41:21,280
the same color as moot's pants you're right although and i mean though really

383
00:41:22,240 --> 00:41:27,920
this is a beautiful like what is this a monstera this is nice so nice it's very lush

384
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:38,240
are these little flowers coming off of it it looks like it wow okay well i mean we can

385
00:41:38,240 --> 00:41:43,280
just bring him along like and i'm gonna pick up the plant you make it back down to the

386
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:49,920
goods and you see leroy with his backs to you he's standing staring down at what you

387
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:52,560
presume is the potion should we just like

388
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:59,680
i don't know do we have to talk to him again he hasn't seen us yet i don't know i'm a

389
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:04,960
little worried about leaving him he seems lost in butzhole like can you imagine everyone

390
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:09,120
your whole life is like hey butzhole is great and it's so great that i'm going to

391
00:42:09,119 --> 00:42:15,359
name it after your brother and your dad but not you right i know that is mean he why is

392
00:42:15,359 --> 00:42:20,639
his brother butz with an s and he's just a leroi and he seems like kind of what would

393
00:42:20,639 --> 00:42:29,039
they call him though butz's yeah i can hear you oh oh you have very good hearing

394
00:42:29,679 --> 00:42:36,239
yeah well you had to hear my brother's talking about me behind my back yeah more

395
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:46,720
than one brother yeah so there's butz and leroy and herald herald hole yeah so

396
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:55,600
what you're trying to tell me is that your brother your brother's hairy and butz yeah like

397
00:42:55,600 --> 00:43:02,320
to spend a lot of time hanging out around the hole that your dad made and that makes

398
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:08,880
you feel bad about yourself sometimes he finally turns around and his nose has grown out like an

399
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:16,640
elephant oh oh what's wrong i don't know no i don't know what i only took a little sip

400
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:22,800
oh well that's probably the problem you need to just slam that sucker back okay he's

401
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:29,360
is everything he puts his hand oh my god there's a trunk here oh you know what it's probably

402
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:38,000
fine i think that was there before oh oh moot claim me you're carrying me i am you were such

403
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:43,360
a beautiful plant i i don't know if you know this about yourself but you're a beautiful plant

404
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:47,360
wait and i'm gonna i'm gonna put him down if i'm if i drink the whole thing am i gonna

405
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:51,840
turn into a plant oh i don't think so that doesn't seem to be going in that direction

406
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:57,440
no that's my thing get your own thing i don't even think yeah moot doesn't even know how he

407
00:43:57,440 --> 00:44:02,079
did that i'm not doing it he picks up the potion and throws it down into the hole

408
00:44:02,079 --> 00:44:07,840
oh did anyone count how long it took it still falls have we heard it smash yet

409
00:44:10,720 --> 00:44:11,679
who does the sound

410
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:19,280
all right so did it happen no you still don't have okay this is a really deep hole

411
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:26,880
this is a deep hole those miners are right right down in butz hole there's a very quiet

412
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:36,640
like then you hear screams oh no leroi why did you throw that down there leroi that was very

413
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:43,200
irresponsible it evaporate like it hit and then immediately powderized oh god did you just fill

414
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:51,440
butz hole with gas oh no what have i done you did it you came into butz hole wow you gave me

415
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:57,920
a trunk you blew up the hole and now it's it's filling what i'm gonna move what's filling

416
00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:05,119
butz hole again he just turns and he's i'll talk to you guys later i think maybe probably not you're

417
00:45:05,119 --> 00:45:14,079
bad i gotta go home and pack i don't think i'm gonna be allowed back in butz hole anymore

418
00:45:14,079 --> 00:45:17,679
yeah you're gonna have to have an extra suitcase for that snot get out of here

419
00:45:17,679 --> 00:45:22,000
it is very important to constantly regain consent when you're in butz hole

420
00:45:22,559 --> 00:45:27,440
maybe we should leave we should change the sign then what's the sign say i know

421
00:45:29,679 --> 00:45:37,279
we only ask once everyone's welcome in butz hole yep everyone's welcome

422
00:45:38,319 --> 00:45:41,199
oh i thought for sure you were going with that we only ask once

423
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:48,400
well as we walk out of butz hole i am dragging the rope behind me to make it all like dusty

424
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:54,320
and dirty sure i assume you like hook it back up to the cart with ralph and drag it behind

425
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:59,520
never even said we had ralph with us yes it's just a presumed thing oh yeah he's always with

426
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:05,200
us he's our donkey okay yeah see if you have a dog playing piano somewhere that's kind of

427
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:11,840
weird well especially if you brought him with us i mean especially after what happened to the

428
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:20,000
last dog yeah right we're not allowed to have pets anymore you know what i i'm really looking

429
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:23,520
forward to this adventure with the pirate stuff but i feel like there's something maybe

430
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:31,280
drawing me back to butz hole now that i know leroys left a void there yeah i i feel like

431
00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:38,640
you know maybe i could take over his spot and open up my little bar shop there on a permanent

432
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:44,320
basis maybe you could fill the fill the void in butz hole what do you think i haven't heard any

433
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:50,240
music here that's true i feel like a smart business person zed mart opens up and you

434
00:46:50,240 --> 00:46:54,080
know that's going to you want to be right beside it that's the anchor you want to be

435
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:59,280
kitty corner that's the anchor exactly they always buy a spot just out of town where

436
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:03,360
it's a little bit cheaper and then everything fills in around them i think you'd be very

437
00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:09,680
smart to get in on the ground floor the research they do around the spots that they move into is

438
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:13,680
just so you know that the the numbers have already been crushed it's going to be a good

439
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:21,440
location and they don't have a good bard supply section yeah this is prime prime butthole real

440
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:26,480
estate and i feel like i might be a fool to walk away from that because how often in your

441
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:32,559
life do you literally walk up to butz hole and it's like hey come on in you're welcome

442
00:47:32,559 --> 00:47:39,679
you can be the king of butz hole the king of butz hole that sounds pretty good to me

443
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:45,199
so i guess maybe this is where we're gonna have to part ways but i i want to give you

444
00:47:45,199 --> 00:47:50,159
something that will help you something that will inspire you something that will

445
00:47:50,639 --> 00:47:56,799
lift your spirits and guide you through when you're not sure even bahamut is listening

446
00:47:57,440 --> 00:48:04,559
so please the three of you sit down and i take out my bardic notebook and i draw the three of

447
00:48:04,559 --> 00:48:11,519
you as characters on bicycles riding through butz hole with an elephant man next to you

448
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:18,639
i'll never forget this we'll cherish this forever this is amazing just always remember

449
00:48:18,639 --> 00:48:25,599
you're welcome back here with me in butz hole that's so nice

450
00:48:26,879 --> 00:48:31,519
all right guys we should probably go bidet to you sir and thanks for the tips about the

451
00:48:31,519 --> 00:48:37,519
shadow and thank you for teaching me of bahamut i will make sure that bahamut is heard

452
00:48:37,519 --> 00:48:54,400
loudly in butz hole oh his voice will echo in here

453
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:18,400
so

454
00:49:22,559 --> 00:49:28,559
Dumbgeons and Dragons season two episode 81 starring Amy More as sully carla max that is

455
00:49:28,559 --> 00:49:33,840
glim tom layered as moot and Russ More as your dungeon master with guest michael howey

456
00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:38,960
is wim rin saris editing production and sound design by Russ More this episode featured music

457
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:44,400
from epidemic sound and Kavin mccleod of incompetech.filmmusic.io and sound effects

458
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:49,680
from epidemic sound a huge thank you to our supporting producers gabriel lynch jessica babyuk

459
00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:55,760
mark heartless stevie cat water flame jacob madden christian brown devon michaels erin stevens

460
00:49:55,760 --> 00:50:00,160
eric hulahan and ray surbeck to support Dumbgeons and Dragons and our many other

461
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:05,199
productions and get access to an exclusive podcast bonus episodes and help us reach our

462
00:50:05,199 --> 00:50:11,440
next goal where we'll be hosting a live improv game for our patrons please join us at Patreon.com

463
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:16,719
slash dumb dragon cast you can also follow us at facebook.com slash dumb dragon podcast

464
00:50:16,719 --> 00:50:21,440
and on instagram and twitter at dumb dragon cast thank you for listening have a great week

465
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:25,119
and we'll talk again soon oh god google thinks i'm talking to it

466
00:50:25,279 --> 00:50:29,279
oh

467
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:34,719
i thought it was addison i thought she was awake i was like you want me to pray

468
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:41,599
prince ali from the movie Alydin playing the Alydin soundtrack i mean you can't go

469
00:50:41,599 --> 00:50:49,119
too wrong so no you really can't be nice backdrop oh now they're muted they're muted

470
00:50:49,599 --> 00:50:54,719
what stop looking at my i looked i looked once

471
00:51:00,079 --> 00:51:03,119
the one time i look at your notes i can read something

472
00:51:06,319 --> 00:51:06,960
sorry we're back

473
00:51:10,079 --> 00:51:14,480
do you ever think one day addison may grow up and listen to me i hope so

474
00:51:15,039 --> 00:51:22,240
so just in the liner notes just have it addison do not listen to this one specifically no

475
00:51:23,519 --> 00:51:27,920
don't worry there's no story in this one you can skip to the next one it is for boden

476
00:51:28,639 --> 00:51:32,400
no i'm just writing notes for future i don't even want to look down at your notes

477
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:38,559
there's a lot of good good things that we could come back to here

478
00:51:38,559 --> 00:51:41,760
so many good things good things happen in butts hole

479
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:47,440
and Dumbgeons and dragons is a dumb dragons production