[0.0s] Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[30.0s] Big Bird. That's comin' in. And snatchin' happy people.
[36.0s] Whoa.
[37.0s] And behind this figure is like this wavy black and purple, it looks almost fluid.
[45.0s] You can't stop. No. And he turns and begins to move towards the black and purple wall.
[53.0s] I want to throw something at him.
[54.0s] Throw it. You got a boot still?
[56.0s] No. Yeah, but.
[58.0s] You got a boot still?
[59.0s] I am. I'm gonna throw the boot. I've just been hangin' on to it.
[62.0s] And the book goes flying.
[63.0s] Yeah, I'm gonna stroll on over and grab that book, Russ.
[66.0s] Maggie, I found this note on the mayor baron's desk that said if he disappears, he wants Z and Zed to be the new mayor.
[76.0s] Wait, what? I guess if he doesn't show up by noon.
[80.0s] Unorthodox, for sure. But definitely on the up and up.
[84.0s] All right. Well, I mean, they were a write-in ballot, so this is still legit.
[89.0s] And as you're riding in the back of Mooton Sully's carriage with Rolf pulling you through the streets, everyone has come out.
[97.0s] But something you notice is that although everyone is out, two-thirds of the town is missing.
[114.0s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your dungeon master, Russ More. He, him.
[129.0s] Also with me today is Karla Maxted.
[131.0s] She, her. I play Norixious Akra, better known as Glim, a dragonborn pAlydin. Also she, her.
[139.0s] And Tom Laird.
[141.0s] He, him. And I play Moot, who is a wild magic half-orc sorcerer who also goes by he, him.
[147.0s] And Amy More.
[148.0s] She, her. And I play Sullivan Sleight, a lightfoot halfling rogue. He, him.
[154.0s] And joining us today, from the end of time and other bothers, you know him as Eggerton. But it's Mikey.
[160.0s] No, sorry, sorry.
[162.0s] Michael Howey.
[164.0s] We didn't even let him speak before he hung up the Zoom call and left.
[168.0s] I know, right?
[169.0s] Come on, Russ.
[170.0s] Please try your call again.
[173.0s] Hi, I'm playing Wimmeren Ceres. I'm he, him. And Wimmeren Ceres is a male half-elf bard who is also he, him.
[180.0s] We're very excited to have you here and to meet Wimmeren. I'm sorry, I started with weird energy there.
[186.0s] I know you said don't do it, but then I did it.
[188.0s] I said that I was going to throw it in at some point, and now, gone.
[191.0s] You can't.
[192.0s] It's out of the way.
[193.0s] That's true.
[194.0s] I guess.
[195.0s] It's like the Band-Aid.
[196.0s] That's just the exciting thing I was looking forward to, like, how can I, whatever.
[200.0s] Just wait.
[201.0s] This first episode, we got to reincorporate one of our own characters as well as Michael's character.
[206.0s] So that's going to be fun.
[207.0s] Where we incorporate all new characters all the time is over on Patreon, Patreon.com slash dumb dragon casting.
[212.0s] You could be one of those characters too.
[214.0s] We got crazy characters.
[216.0s] Are patrons, are you talking about like how our patrons are like wacky and wild characters?
[220.0s] Like, they're such a character.
[222.0s] That's how I am talking about it now.
[223.0s] Oh.
[224.0s] Perfect.
[225.0s] I really wasn't sure it made sense that way, but they also can contribute characters and items.
[230.0s] So maybe that's what you meant.
[232.0s] Yes.
[233.0s] It's going to be an interesting.
[235.0s] Taking a lot of boxes here.
[236.0s] Tom, do you have a suggestion?
[238.0s] No, I'm a little flabbergasted to be perfectly honest with you.
[242.0s] Well, when you are a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you.
[245.0s] Like today's patron, David Olney.
[248.0s] Thanks, David.
[249.0s] Thank you.
[250.0s] Can we call you Davey?
[252.0s] Wicked job.
[253.0s] Wicked job there, David.
[255.0s] Or Davey.
[256.0s] Yeah.
[257.0s] That's the, that's what we're going with.
[259.0s] Nickname it everybody.
[260.0s] In ways they don't like.
[262.0s] Nobody asked for it, but I'm here.
[264.0s] I'm here to do it.
[266.0s] It's a thankless job.
[267.0s] In ways one specifically said not to do.
[269.0s] But I'm here for it.
[270.0s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[272.0s] We hope to see you over there.
[273.0s] And now fuck it.
[274.0s] Let's play.
[277.0s] Glim and Wimren.
[280.0s] You met Injrod Tamar.
[282.0s] Was Wimren at the Baja Maniac's opening?
[286.0s] Wimren has been trying to find meaning in life.
[291.0s] And in this weird dancing exercise class saw a pamphlet on the wall
[297.0s] about someone who's real chill.
[299.0s] Someone who can give you answers.
[302.0s] Someone named Bahamut.
[305.0s] And just started asking some questions.
[308.0s] So now we've been traveling for three days.
[310.0s] Glim hasn't stopped talking about Bahamut that whole time probably.
[313.0s] So maybe it's like, I don't know Wimren,
[315.0s] but maybe like a little more than he wanted.
[318.0s] But maybe not.
[319.0s] I understand what you're saying.
[322.0s] It's just if Bahamut is the most chill,
[325.0s] how can Bahamut also be responsible for economic prosperity?
[330.0s] Oh, it's such a good question.
[331.0s] It's just part of the like ineffable awesomeness of Bahamut
[335.0s] that he can be both like totally chill all the time,
[339.0s] but also like really help stimulate the economy
[342.0s] in ways both capitalist and socialist.
[344.0s] It's kind of amazing.
[345.0s] He just can be all things to all people all the time.
[348.0s] The one that's really kind of holding me back right now,
[350.0s] I got to admit, is the trickle up.
[352.0s] The trickle up.
[353.0s] It doesn't quite make sense.
[354.0s] So you know how I told you,
[356.0s] I've been trying to sell my barding wares
[358.0s] and it's been a little tricky lately.
[360.0s] How do I get into the up trickle?
[363.0s] Is that something I catch?
[364.0s] Do I have to find like a spout of it?
[366.0s] Well, sometimes you can find like a sorcerer
[370.0s] who specializes in up trickle.
[372.0s] Right, right.
[373.0s] Or I heard about someone once who like was in the forest
[377.0s] and they found a magical up trickle stone.
[379.0s] So we can kind of keep our eyes peeled for that.
[382.0s] I don't really know the specifics of that exactly,
[387.0s] but I have enough faith that it's probably going to come to us.
[390.0s] Like at some point, it's going to be very obvious
[394.0s] how you can just like jump on that up trickle
[396.0s] and ride it to stardom.
[398.0s] It all sounds good.
[399.0s] It's just, it's been like three days
[402.0s] and we've been talking a lot about up trickle.
[405.0s] And we've seen crickles and we've seen crackles,
[408.0s] but no trickles.
[409.0s] And certainly none of them going upwards.
[411.0s] So I guess I'm just wondering,
[412.0s] is there like a schedule, an agenda of Bahamut's plans?
[417.0s] And I understand that maybe doesn't go with the chill thing,
[420.0s] but you know, maybe if it was an agenda with stickers.
[423.0s] Oh, I do love an agenda with stickers
[426.0s] or like the ones where you draw your own little box
[428.0s] and then a checklist and then you go through
[429.0s] and check the box,
[430.0s] but then also cross off the thing on the list.
[432.0s] Like I love that.
[434.0s] I don't think that's really how Bahamut rolls
[438.0s] because while he has a plan for everyone,
[441.0s] you do still have free will to like make your own choices
[444.0s] or search for your own up trickle
[446.0s] or you know, what have you.
[449.0s] Right, right, right.
[451.0s] So I don't think we can like find a scrap of paper
[454.0s] and solve it.
[455.0s] I think we just have to really keep our eyes peeled
[457.0s] for that up trickle stone or maybe like a unicorn or yeah.
[464.0s] Okay, you just said unicorn.
[466.0s] Well, I've just found them to always be like quite magical
[468.0s] and like they might know.
[469.0s] Yeah, but you're just now bringing up,
[471.0s] it's just that, okay.
[472.0s] So yesterday morning when you were off doing your business,
[476.0s] there was like eight unicorns coming down the road.
[479.0s] And I thought, should I go get Glim?
[481.0s] No, you know what?
[482.0s] This is a new relationship.
[485.0s] I don't know your boundaries.
[486.0s] You don't know my boundaries.
[488.0s] So I just let the unicorns walk past.
[490.0s] I enjoyed the moment in the moment as Bahamut teaches.
[493.0s] I just feel that if some of this information were shared earlier,
[497.0s] like that was, you know,
[499.0s] if someone came up to me with a sign that said prophecy
[501.0s] and smacked me in the face with it,
[503.0s] I might see eight unicorns walking down a road.
[506.0s] I don't know.
[508.0s] I see what you're saying.
[509.0s] First, thank you for not interrupting me
[512.0s] when I was having my private time.
[514.0s] I do really appreciate that.
[516.0s] It's important.
[517.0s] I think you're right.
[519.0s] And I mean, if you saw eight unicorns,
[522.0s] I bet there's going to be more unicorns
[524.0s] just around the corner.
[525.0s] That's the way I've always approached life.
[527.0s] It's, you know,
[528.0s] there's always more unicorns around the corner.
[531.0s] You crest over top of a hill and you go around the corner
[535.0s] and there's unicorns.
[537.0s] Damn, I don't know if we want to meet a unicorn again, you guys.
[541.0s] We've had some issues with unicorns in the past.
[544.0s] There is one specific unicorn who's out for blood
[547.0s] and it's all Tom's fault.
[549.0s] So you crest over this hill and you see before you,
[554.0s] the city of Hardcastle is a walled city.
[558.0s] There's some broken down tents, some set up tents.
[562.0s] There's a couple of caravans pulling through.
[565.0s] I see though what catches your eye particularly
[568.0s] is there's a spiral of smoke coming from the center of the city.
[574.0s] So spiral smoke.
[577.0s] Bahamut, have anything to say about that?
[579.0s] Or is that just like a duck penis and smoke format?
[582.0s] You know, nothing explicitly about it,
[584.0s] but I like to follow anything unusual.
[587.0s] So I say let's follow the duck penis smoke.
[590.0s] All right.
[592.0s] Let's continue on.
[593.0s] Are you running at this point?
[595.0s] How are you traveling?
[596.0s] We hadn't really established that.
[598.0s] I've imagined that Glim probably walks rather straightforward.
[603.0s] That's my impression.
[604.0s] So I presume I'm just sort of crisscrossing behind,
[607.0s] trying to figure things out.
[609.0s] Yeah, perfect. Love it.
[611.0s] With more determination now, Glim is walking forward.
[614.0s] Crisscrossing behind is Wimren.
[616.0s] You get to the gate and where you would expect to see guards,
[619.0s] you see a shield and an axe just dug into the earth.
[626.0s] There's no guards around.
[628.0s] Just those two.
[629.0s] And there's a smiley face on the shield.
[631.0s] Huh, it does seem like normally there'd be a guard here,
[634.0s] but I've had some trouble with city guards in the past.
[638.0s] Not here, but just in other cities.
[640.0s] So I'm happy to just keep on walking
[643.0s] and count our Bahamut blessings that there is not a guard here.
[647.0s] How about you?
[648.0s] I ordinarily would feel maybe uneasy in this situation.
[653.0s] It seems like something may have happened and it's not okay,
[657.0s] but there's a smiley face.
[658.0s] And if it wasn't okay,
[660.0s] someone would not have taken the time to draw a smiley face, right?
[662.0s] Absolutely.
[663.0s] It's a good sign.
[665.0s] Maybe this is the beginning of the up trickle.
[668.0s] Maybe this is it.
[670.0s] Yes, this is a good start to our entrance into Hardcastle, I think.
[675.0s] You're following the smoke leading to the center of the city,
[677.0s] and it wraps around and down through some streets.
[679.0s] It's a rather quiet city.
[680.0s] There's a few people out.
[682.0s] They're looking up at the smoke
[685.0s] and also trying to figure out where it's coming from and what's going on.
[690.0s] You round a corner and you find that it looks to be coming from
[694.0s] what you could describe as a small castle,
[697.0s] a small town hall center.
[699.0s] And it's coming out of one of the top windows,
[702.0s] like pouring out of this top window.
[705.0s] Someone's having a bad day.
[707.0s] Yeah, no kidding.
[708.0s] Do you think the kitchen's up there?
[710.0s] Maybe, maybe.
[711.0s] It could be some kind of alchemy as well.
[714.0s] With that, an explosion goes off inside an out-shoot moot and sully
[719.0s] who fall down onto a carriage filled with hay.
[725.0s] Huh.
[726.0s] These are my friends I was telling you about.
[727.0s] Guys, guys, we're here.
[729.0s] Are you, are you, are you okay?
[731.0s] Glim, is that you?
[733.0s] I don't know.
[734.0s] Are you okay?
[735.0s] There's smoke in my face.
[737.0s] There's a hideous scream that comes from the window up top
[740.0s] and out-shoots like this eight-foot giant spider
[744.0s] wielding a dagger.
[746.0s] God, this asshole again.
[748.0s] Yeah, everybody roll for initiative.
[749.0s] I only rolled a five.
[751.0s] Oh, plus five is 10.
[752.0s] Look at that, I doubled it.
[753.0s] 17 plus two is 19.
[756.0s] You don't have to show off, Mike.
[757.0s] 11.
[758.0s] Also 10, but with a zero bonus, so I'll go behind sully.
[762.0s] This giant spider shoots out.
[764.0s] Wimren, your first initiative.
[767.0s] It lands like down beside where moot and sully have landed
[770.0s] down, these two people who you probably have heard of
[773.0s] via Glim, and it's moving towards them,
[776.0s] wielding this, what looks in its hands to be a dagger,
[779.0s] but could be considered a sword to most.
[782.0s] How far away are they?
[783.0s] Let's say you're about 15 feet away.
[785.0s] Like, they landed pretty near where you were.
[788.0s] I'm going to assume that these are good people being
[794.0s] attacked by a giant spider of some sort who just came
[797.0s] out of a weird twisty smoke-filled building.
[800.0s] So I'm going to, I feel like I gotta play with a new toy.
[805.0s] So I kind of, I spin to look,
[809.0s] and it's confusing and concerning,
[811.0s] but I can see Glim is getting amped up
[814.0s] and that these are the people I've been told about.
[816.0s] So I pull out Bad News, which is this ranged device
[821.0s] of rather significant consequence.
[825.0s] Does it need to be loaded first?
[828.0s] It does require a load, but I would, you know,
[831.0s] depending on how you carry it, yeah.
[833.0s] Okay, so I spin around and I just take a shot
[835.0s] at this giant spider thing.
[837.0s] All right.
[838.0s] So that's going to be arranged?
[839.0s] Yes, sir.
[840.0s] All right.
[842.0s] 17.
[843.0s] 17 does hit.
[845.0s] All right.
[846.0s] And I get 2D12 plus one.
[850.0s] So that's 12 and 11.
[854.0s] Damn.
[855.0s] This is a lot different than my normal experience
[857.0s] doing this FYI.
[859.0s] You're doing a great job.
[861.0s] Welcome to our show.
[862.0s] Come on back any time.
[865.0s] Yeah, you shoot in and like, where do you aim?
[868.0s] Well, I think if it's a giant spider,
[870.0s] you aim at the big squishy part of the back, right?
[873.0s] Huge backside to this thing.
[874.0s] You shoot and it goes in and like blasts out
[876.0s] and it lets out this huge shriek
[878.0s] as like green and black ooze start pouring out of it.
[882.0s] Anything else you want to do on your turn?
[884.0s] I think just like, as the stuff sprays out,
[888.0s] just like a good like, just one.
[892.0s] You're right.
[893.0s] It's the adrenaline.
[894.0s] Hope this is a judgment free zone.
[896.0s] You can only allow yourself one.
[898.0s] Yep.
[899.0s] Because two is vomiting.
[901.0s] Glim, you're up next.
[902.0s] I am going to run up to the spider
[906.0s] and attack it with the Vorpal Sword,
[910.0s] which, oh, for God's sakes.
[912.0s] Well, I rolled a one.
[916.0s] So that's a nine, so that totally hits, right?
[920.0s] I'm really safe inside of the cart filled with hay.
[924.0s] I don't think she could probably slice through me from there.
[926.0s] No.
[927.0s] Okay.
[928.0s] Just, you know, making sure.
[930.0s] Sounds like something that might happen.
[932.0s] Yeah, no, that doesn't hit.
[934.0s] It's the spider's turn.
[936.0s] And it's going to try and use its web attack on Wimron.
[942.0s] And as we know, it's coming from spinnerets
[944.0s] because we know all about spider anatomy.
[947.0s] We know all about spider anatomy.
[949.0s] That's going to be a 23 to hit you.
[952.0s] That's a hit, yeah.
[954.0s] So you get blasted by this like huge glob of web
[959.0s] that like knocks you back into the ground.
[962.0s] There's ooze mixed in because you shot through its body
[966.0s] and it's just everywhere now.
[968.0s] As an action on your turn, you can make a strength DC 11 check
[973.0s] to try to get out on your turn.
[977.0s] Yeah, that's all it can do right now.
[979.0s] It's all it can do.
[980.0s] It's all it can do. Sully, you're up.
[982.0s] Can I ask you how long have we been fighting this spider
[985.0s] before we got thrown out of a window?
[986.0s] How long have you been fighting this spider
[988.0s] before you got thrown out of a window?
[989.0s] I'd like to know.
[990.0s] I'd like to know too.
[991.0s] How long have you been fighting this spider
[992.0s] before you got thrown out of a window?
[993.0s] I feel like...
[994.0s] Let's say like six rounds?
[995.0s] Yeah, I feel like it's been a while.
[998.0s] And you probably see very little damage on this spider
[1001.0s] because of that.
[1002.0s] But you're cut up and yeah, absolutely.
[1007.0s] God, I'm so fucking tired of this woman.
[1009.0s] Okay, and I pull out my frightful sort of reflection,
[1014.0s] which I haven't yet used.
[1015.0s] Very excited.
[1016.0s] Okay, as soon as Mike was like,
[1017.0s] I'm going to play with a new toy,
[1018.0s] I'm like, I want to play with a new toy.
[1022.0s] Let's try it.
[1023.0s] Why not?
[1024.0s] Let's go for it.
[1025.0s] Oh no.
[1026.0s] It went to an 11,
[1028.0s] and then it tipped back onto a four.
[1031.0s] Plus seven.
[1032.0s] Well here we're back at 11.
[1033.0s] There we go.
[1034.0s] It still doesn't hit.
[1035.0s] Oh, that's no good.
[1036.0s] So how does your mist look?
[1037.0s] I feel like the sword is a little oversized
[1040.0s] for my halfling self.
[1043.0s] And just heavy.
[1045.0s] The weight's off.
[1046.0s] It's just the hilt.
[1050.0s] I just fumble with it.
[1051.0s] The spider turns its head back down to you
[1054.0s] and sluts out the spittle filled scream.
[1057.0s] Moot, it's your turn.
[1059.0s] What's in the path of me and the spider
[1063.0s] and behind the spider
[1064.0s] in let's say like a 15 foot cone?
[1067.0s] A building?
[1068.0s] Just picking an arbitrary number there.
[1070.0s] So you guys landed in the carriage.
[1074.0s] Probably fell backwards.
[1075.0s] The spider landed between you and the building.
[1078.0s] So the building appears to be made of stonework.
[1082.0s] But yeah, not much else.
[1084.0s] Okay, perfect.
[1085.0s] I'm going to cast Burning Hands at the spider.
[1089.0s] So I kind of put my hands together
[1091.0s] and out comes like some shooting flames
[1094.0s] and I need a deck saving throw from you.
[1097.0s] That one.
[1099.0s] Perfect.
[1100.0s] Does that mean you get more damage?
[1101.0s] No.
[1103.0s] So you're going to take some fire damage
[1105.0s] as you eat some flames here.
[1107.0s] Sweet.
[1108.0s] Eat them.
[1109.0s] Eat them.
[1110.0s] Four on the first one.
[1111.0s] You know what?
[1112.0s] Give me max damage
[1113.0s] because that wasn't that one.
[1114.0s] Max damage?
[1115.0s] All right.
[1116.0s] Well then you are taking 18 fire damage.
[1120.0s] Like the hairs on the back of this thing are a lit.
[1124.0s] And I'm going to roll a d20.
[1126.0s] Oh yeah, please do.
[1128.0s] That was also a one.
[1130.0s] Wow.
[1131.0s] Magic search table.
[1133.0s] Not another unicorn though.
[1134.0s] I wasn't even prepared for this.
[1136.0s] Neither was I.
[1137.0s] Because it will be the same unicorn.
[1139.0s] Please not a unicorn.
[1140.0s] The ones always come when you're least prepared for them.
[1144.0s] But I'm always prepared for them.
[1145.0s] They always do show up.
[1147.0s] That is an 80.
[1148.0s] Yeah, your flames go up.
[1150.0s] The hairs on the back of the spider light up.
[1153.0s] And then suddenly there's this swirling air.
[1158.0s] And the air within 10 feet of you, all around you,
[1162.0s] is filled with butterflies and flower petals
[1165.0s] that just seem to float and flutter all around you.
[1169.0s] Wymron, it's your turn.
[1170.0s] Mo, that's fucking beautiful, man.
[1172.0s] Wow.
[1173.0s] I don't even know how I did that.
[1174.0s] What have you guys been doing since I've seen you?
[1176.0s] I'm really concerned that whatever that gooey stuff was
[1180.0s] has really gotten into my bloodstream quick.
[1184.0s] I just need to know if everyone else can see the butterflies.
[1189.0s] Oh, yeah.
[1190.0s] Yeah, the butterflies.
[1191.0s] OK.
[1192.0s] OK, thank you.
[1193.0s] I appreciate it.
[1194.0s] I'm going to just try and get this goop off now.
[1199.0s] 17 minus 1 is 16.
[1201.0s] So I wrestle free of the web.
[1204.0s] You bust free.
[1205.0s] So that's your action.
[1206.0s] You still got any bonus action or movement?
[1209.0s] Can I reload?
[1210.0s] You could reload.
[1211.0s] Yeah.
[1212.0s] I don't know if it says what that counts as.
[1214.0s] Reload.
[1215.0s] I like the action that Michael is in to reload it.
[1218.0s] Can be fired a number of times equal to its reload score.
[1221.0s] You must spend one attack.
[1222.0s] We'll say that's a bonus action to reload,
[1224.0s] because that's more fun.
[1225.0s] So yeah, you get one reload.
[1227.0s] Cool.
[1228.0s] But yeah, you can load and reload on a turn.
[1229.0s] OK.
[1230.0s] Glim.
[1231.0s] I am going to attack again.
[1234.0s] Well, I'm going to try to attack again with the Vorpal sword.
[1238.0s] Much better.
[1239.0s] That's a 27.
[1240.0s] Eww.
[1241.0s] Eight damage.
[1242.0s] But as a bonus action, I am also going to cast ensnaring strike.
[1248.0s] OK.
[1249.0s] So you have to do a saving throw to see if you are ensnared as magical thorny vines.
[1256.0s] Strength.
[1258.0s] Strength.
[1259.0s] Three.
[1260.0s] You are a large or larger creature, or are you a medium-sized creature?
[1264.0s] Medium.
[1265.0s] Well, then you don't get to do it again.
[1267.0s] Ensnared.
[1268.0s] All right.
[1269.0s] Consider me ensnared.
[1270.0s] At the start of each of your turns, you're going to take 1d6 piercing damage.
[1274.0s] But you can make a strength check.
[1277.0s] At the end?
[1278.0s] To be freed.
[1279.0s] OK.
[1280.0s] It is my turn, so I'm going to take 1d6 piercing damage.
[1284.0s] Great.
[1285.0s] That's two.
[1286.0s] I will take it.
[1289.0s] Is there anything I can do without moving?
[1292.0s] Yeah, there is.
[1294.0s] Spider is going to cast on Glim.
[1300.0s] Make a wisdom saving throw.
[1303.0s] OK.
[1305.0s] 18.
[1307.0s] I feel like that's good.
[1309.0s] Yes, 16 is to beat.
[1311.0s] So it tries to cast hold person on you.
[1314.0s] You are not held.
[1315.0s] And then it's going to make a strength.
[1318.0s] That's 13.
[1319.0s] Bell save DC is 13.
[1322.0s] So it met it.
[1323.0s] So does that mean more free?
[1325.0s] See?
[1326.0s] Let's have this conversation.
[1327.0s] Can we have this conversation every time, please?
[1329.0s] Active, passive.
[1330.0s] It's trying to break.
[1331.0s] Because you're active.
[1332.0s] Yeah.
[1333.0s] So it breaks free.
[1334.0s] Yeah.
[1335.0s] I feel like it's different every time.
[1336.0s] It's the same.
[1337.0s] I know.
[1338.0s] It's always active.
[1339.0s] Sometimes it makes perfect sense to me.
[1340.0s] And other times it's like I'll twist it around and I can't do it.
[1345.0s] Magic's weird.
[1346.0s] Sully, it's your turn.
[1347.0s] Magic's weird.
[1348.0s] Butterflies everywhere.
[1349.0s] Ensnaring things.
[1350.0s] Spider broke out.
[1351.0s] Guy with a gun who's recharging, reloading a gun.
[1355.0s] Yeah, I was paying attention.
[1356.0s] Sully definitely wasn't, though.
[1358.0s] He was looking at the butterflies.
[1359.0s] He's going to try his frightful sort of reflection again.
[1363.0s] Let's see how this goes.
[1364.0s] I'm going to use a different dice.
[1366.0s] Oh, fuck.
[1368.0s] 14.
[1369.0s] No.
[1370.0s] Really?
[1371.0s] Really.
[1372.0s] Anything else you want to do?
[1373.0s] I want to try to touch the butterflies.
[1375.0s] Try to touch them in your finger.
[1378.0s] Just can't quite get them.
[1381.0s] Yeah.
[1382.0s] It's sad.
[1383.0s] Boop.
[1384.0s] It's your turn.
[1387.0s] I'm going to cast Magic Missile.
[1389.0s] So I throw up some glowing darts and hit this spider in its legs.
[1395.0s] I would like to target its legs.
[1396.0s] Go for it.
[1397.0s] I mean, they hit automatically.
[1399.0s] I guess I target their legs.
[1403.0s] So that is 11 force damage.
[1406.0s] Tell me how you kill Maggie's spider.
[1410.0s] Turns out after my first two darts hit the front legs, it kind of like falls forward a little bit.
[1416.0s] And then the next one just hits it right in the forehead.
[1419.0s] Yeah, the head explodes out as it's like the legs collapse.
[1423.0s] There's this huge shriek and then the head explodes backwards.
[1427.0s] And you see the butterflies kind of just move quickly around it.
[1431.0s] I rolled another net one.
[1433.0s] What?
[1435.0s] Okay, roll me that.
[1436.0s] This is the most exciting day.
[1438.0s] What is happening?
[1439.0s] I love it.
[1440.0s] We've had four net ones already.
[1442.0s] Yeah, it's very, it's very.
[1445.0s] 31.
[1446.0s] I hope you shrink.
[1447.0s] It makes me so happy when it happens in this instance and no other.
[1451.0s] Moot disappears.
[1452.0s] Oh, good.
[1454.0s] Wait, do his butterflies stay?
[1456.0s] Nope.
[1457.0s] Moot, you find yourself.
[1461.0s] Yeah, you find yourself in the astral plane.
[1467.0s] Okay.
[1468.0s] With butterflies all around you.
[1470.0s] It's beautiful.
[1471.0s] There's swirling colors.
[1473.0s] It's dark.
[1475.0s] A little bit like you can't breathe.
[1479.0s] And we come back to your friends.
[1481.0s] Guys, I lost Moot.
[1483.0s] Yeah, I don't know.
[1485.0s] Did you guys like take an invisibility potion before we got back or?
[1489.0s] No, maybe he turned into like remember when he was a sheep that one time.
[1494.0s] Oh, you're right.
[1495.0s] Oh, you're right.
[1496.0s] And I see a dog.
[1497.0s] Is that Moot?
[1499.0s] Oh, oh my God.
[1500.0s] Come over here.
[1501.0s] We chased this random dog.
[1503.0s] Is no one going to talk about the giant spider that just tried to kill us?
[1508.0s] And Moot is back.
[1509.0s] Did I?
[1510.0s] Oh, I thought maybe I died.
[1511.0s] Did I die?
[1512.0s] I'm wrestling this dog to the ground.
[1514.0s] Moot, it's us.
[1515.0s] Moot.
[1516.0s] I'm like yelling at the dog.
[1517.0s] Guys, guys, I'm over here.
[1518.0s] Guys, I'm over here.
[1519.0s] I can hear him.
[1520.0s] You're in there somewhere, buddy.
[1521.0s] I just go over and I like grab Sully's shoulder.
[1524.0s] No, no, I'm I'm over here.
[1525.0s] Oh, oh, oh my God.
[1527.0s] We thought for sure you were that dog because remember, it's the sheep and.
[1532.0s] Oh, sure.
[1533.0s] Yep.
[1534.0s] I look across the street and there's a family looking.
[1537.0s] This dog was on a leash, but it was retractable.
[1541.0s] It was like pretty far away.
[1543.0s] I'm really sorry.
[1545.0s] That was, you know.
[1546.0s] I'm so sorry.
[1547.0s] Could you get off our dog, please?
[1548.0s] Yeah, no.
[1549.0s] We thought.
[1550.0s] You know what?
[1551.0s] I'm so small.
[1552.0s] The dog was it was really a fair fight.
[1553.0s] This is a rescue dog.
[1554.0s] We were just trying to find a nice home for it.
[1557.0s] Wait, you didn't rescue this dog?
[1559.0s] We were pretending.
[1562.0s] All right.
[1563.0s] You virtue signal over there.
[1564.0s] Should we?
[1565.0s] I'm just going to.
[1566.0s] Moot, where did you go?
[1567.0s] I don't know.
[1568.0s] It was it was kind of dark, but also light at the same time.
[1571.0s] But the butterflies came with me.
[1574.0s] So that's.
[1575.0s] They're still there.
[1576.0s] Oh, yeah.
[1577.0s] So they.
[1578.0s] Wow.
[1579.0s] They came with me and now they're back and I don't know really where.
[1581.0s] I don't know.
[1582.0s] If it was dark and then light with your eyes previously shut and then you open
[1588.0s] them.
[1589.0s] Oh, maybe.
[1590.0s] Maybe.
[1591.0s] OK, OK.
[1592.0s] I need to summarize here.
[1593.0s] So people get blown up out of a window.
[1597.0s] Giant spider attacks them.
[1599.0s] Giant spider attacks me.
[1601.0s] I get sticky.
[1603.0s] Spider flies.
[1604.0s] Then spider blows up.
[1607.0s] This guy disappears, then comes back.
[1610.0s] There's butterflies, but it's just his eyes are closed.
[1614.0s] Yeah, I think that.
[1616.0s] Yeah, I think it's pretty pretty.
[1618.0s] All right.
[1619.0s] Who's this guy?
[1620.0s] This is this is my friend Wimron.
[1621.0s] He came with me from Gerod Tamar and I've been telling him all about
[1625.0s] Bahamut.
[1626.0s] And of course, all about you guys.
[1628.0s] And it looks like you were busy because you were I don't know.
[1633.0s] Were you doing alchemy or you were cooking a pie and you were smoking
[1637.0s] and you exploded?
[1638.0s] Oh, yeah.
[1640.0s] Well, you know, typical stuff for us.
[1643.0s] We were at the pub last night and then some things went sideways and
[1647.0s] then the explosion out of window.
[1649.0s] Giant spider fight.
[1650.0s] You know, typical.
[1651.0s] I mean, that sounds that all tracks.
[1653.0s] That sounds totally right.
[1656.0s] Good job killing the giant spider.
[1658.0s] I hit it a few times in the building before anybody saw anything.
[1662.0s] Oh, sorry.
[1663.0s] Did real good before anyone saw anything.
[1666.0s] I slapped it in one of its eyes.
[1678.0s] It's the middle baby.
[1681.0s] Yeah, it is.
[1682.0s] Yeah, it is.
[1683.0s] Welcome to the middle.
[1684.0s] It's the Amy and Russ middle.
[1685.0s] It is because we didn't want that Tom and Carla to get all the all the
[1689.0s] fun and excitement.
[1690.0s] No, that's not true.
[1691.0s] That's that's not why we're doing this.
[1693.0s] Why are we doing this?
[1694.0s] Well, you know, when when you've got people who need a break.
[1699.0s] Oh, yeah.
[1700.0s] And how we respect each other's time.
[1703.0s] Yeah, that too.
[1704.0s] And we live together and can do this easily.
[1706.0s] Yeah, all those things.
[1708.0s] And sometimes Russ and I just want to be with you guys by ourselves.
[1712.0s] That's true.
[1713.0s] Yeah.
[1714.0s] Thank you for joining us here in this lovely episode where we have the one
[1717.0s] only Michael Howie.
[1719.0s] Oh, my gosh, which we are just changed forever because of.
[1725.0s] Yeah.
[1726.0s] No, this first episode where things are going real wild and crazy.
[1730.0s] Just wait for the second episode.
[1733.0s] It's off the rail.
[1734.0s] Yeah.
[1735.0s] So that's going to come in a couple of weeks.
[1737.0s] But in the meantime, after you're done listening here, make sure you go
[1741.0s] Michael plays Eggerton.
[1743.0s] Totally not a chaotic character over there.
[1747.0s] And no laughs.
[1748.0s] It's not funny at all.
[1749.0s] Very serious.
[1750.0s] Yes.
[1751.0s] Hard hitting stuff.
[1752.0s] Listen to the tone in our voice and go listen to the end of time and
[1757.0s] other bothers, but also go listen to Defender Radio.
[1760.0s] That's Michael's other podcast.
[1762.0s] Because if you know anything about podcasters, you can't just have one
[1766.0s] podcast.
[1767.0s] It's like it's like potato chips.
[1769.0s] So, yeah, Defender Radio is about protecting Canadian wildlife and
[1774.0s] showcasing all of the species that they are trying to promote and
[1779.0s] raise money for to help out.
[1782.0s] It's a great podcast.
[1783.0s] Excellent cause.
[1784.0s] Yeah.
[1785.0s] Go check it out.
[1786.0s] And now we're going to get back to the episode.
[1787.0s] So thank you for joining us.
[1788.0s] Enjoy the rest.
[1789.0s] And we'll talk to you all soon.
[1790.0s] Love you.
[1791.0s] Bye.
[1792.0s] OK, bye.
[1793.0s] OK.
[1794.0s] Well, that was the receptionist.
[1795.0s] They have spider receptionist.
[1796.0s] It makes sense.
[1797.0s] They have eight arms.
[1799.0s] You're right.
[1800.0s] They would be so good at it.
[1801.0s] She was previously just like a regular like human person.
[1808.0s] Yeah.
[1809.0s] Standard lady.
[1812.0s] And anyway, we were told by new management, Zed and Zee, who I'm
[1819.0s] pretty sure run this place now, that we can rifle through anything to
[1824.0s] find out, you know, all the bad stuff.
[1826.0s] They had a mayor or a baron, a mayor baron and no good bad guy.
[1835.0s] So we were just going through his stuff and we found some real like
[1840.0s] a secret compartment and there was like bones and bongs inside of it.
[1846.0s] And then she just went all like arachnoid crazy.
[1852.0s] Do you have the bones still or they're still like up in the.
[1855.0s] Did you grab them?
[1857.0s] Well, I think they're still up there unless that explosion did something to them.
[1862.0s] I definitely put them in my pocket.
[1865.0s] Oh, I didn't even see that, Sully.
[1867.0s] I have a sleight of hand.
[1870.0s] You are sneaky.
[1871.0s] I'm so sneaky.
[1872.0s] Roll sleight of hand to see how much you grabbed.
[1875.0s] You mean how many?
[1878.0s] How much bones?
[1879.0s] How many bones were in there?
[1880.0s] He just grabbed one bong.
[1882.0s] Yeah, I was supposed to get the bones.
[1884.0s] That's news to me.
[1888.0s] Twenty three.
[1890.0s] You have one bong and for what looked like vertebrae.
[1894.0s] I'm sorry.
[1895.0s] How many bones were in there?
[1896.0s] More than four?
[1897.0s] There was there were more than that.
[1898.0s] I didn't grab them all.
[1900.0s] We want to go back.
[1901.0s] I was just trying to save us some time.
[1904.0s] Storywise and you know, the amount of stairs that we had to do.
[1910.0s] Turns out when you're exploded out a window, you don't have to do any stairs.
[1914.0s] Well, actually, I get a bonus for that on this tracking thing that I carry when I go town to town.
[1920.0s] So actually, if you don't mind, could I maybe just, you know, like get you to wear it and do the explosion thing again?
[1929.0s] I'm sorry.
[1930.0s] Really use the bonus.
[1931.0s] You get a bonus every time you get thrown out of a window.
[1934.0s] Yeah, because of the acceleration.
[1936.0s] Oh, because it looks like you're running so fast.
[1939.0s] Yeah, yeah.
[1940.0s] It's perceived speed.
[1942.0s] That's what it's tracking.
[1943.0s] You know what?
[1944.0s] Put down that dog over there.
[1946.0s] Oh, good idea.
[1947.0s] And I go and I chase the dog down.
[1949.0s] Oh, dang.
[1950.0s] You're doing it.
[1953.0s] Okay, make a dex check.
[1956.0s] Roll for dog.
[1957.0s] Chase that family dog down.
[1959.0s] Yeah.
[1960.0s] That family dog.
[1962.0s] 13 plus one.
[1963.0s] 14.
[1964.0s] Okay.
[1965.0s] Yeah.
[1966.0s] Wimron runs off, chasing the dog and the family down.
[1970.0s] The family starts to run with the dog, leaving the three of you there.
[1975.0s] Well, I've really missed you guys.
[1979.0s] It's just business as usual.
[1981.0s] He'll come back.
[1983.0s] Maybe.
[1985.0s] How did the big opening go?
[1987.0s] Oh, it was so good.
[1989.0s] People were just so hungry for fitness and Bahamut, you know?
[1993.0s] And the baguettes?
[1995.0s] And the baguettes.
[1996.0s] I guess have a load.
[1998.0s] So your buddy there, is he a groupie now?
[2001.0s] Like a Bahamaniac that you have around?
[2005.0s] Helps to spread the word?
[2008.0s] No, I think he's just absorbing the Bahamut knowledge right now.
[2014.0s] I don't think he's ready to start spreading the good news himself, but I think he's just,
[2019.0s] you know, kind of learning and looking to get ahead in the world like we all are.
[2026.0s] Okay, okay, okay.
[2030.0s] No, I don't know if this is in the scriptures anywhere yet, but some people react poorly
[2040.0s] when you chase them covered in spider ichor, waving a gun,
[2045.0s] and a magical fitness device while screaming Bahamut loves.
[2051.0s] Oh, yeah, you just really learn something new every day, don't you?
[2055.0s] Who could have guessed that?
[2056.0s] And after all that cardio we did together.
[2058.0s] Yeah, did you get the tracker on the dog or?
[2061.0s] Oh, it's on the dog.
[2062.0s] Oh, nice.
[2063.0s] Well, it's with the dog.
[2065.0s] It's with the dog.
[2066.0s] Let's say that way.
[2069.0s] It's fine.
[2070.0s] It's fine.
[2071.0s] It's fine.
[2072.0s] Let's chill out.
[2073.0s] So a bong.
[2074.0s] That's cool bones.
[2075.0s] What's that all about?
[2078.0s] You know what?
[2079.0s] Maybe we should go back upstairs.
[2081.0s] Number one, to get out of the street.
[2083.0s] Those children looked real scared and the family looked real mad.
[2089.0s] But there were more than just these like these spina pieces.
[2096.0s] Can I, I guess, roll like inside or something to see if, like,
[2102.0s] I know what these are other than bones or what?
[2106.0s] Be like arcana maybe.
[2108.0s] Like if they're like bones for spells.
[2110.0s] Archaeology?
[2111.0s] Do we have an archaeology?
[2112.0s] What if it's in nature?
[2113.0s] It is bones.
[2115.0s] You can you can look at them however you want.
[2117.0s] They look like three vertebrae right now.
[2119.0s] Whole vertebrae?
[2120.0s] And how big are they?
[2121.0s] Or three vertebra?
[2122.0s] Three vertebra.
[2124.0s] Okay.
[2125.0s] I was thinking like, whoa, my pockets are huge.
[2127.0s] Spines.
[2128.0s] Spines.
[2129.0s] Like ducks in a window.
[2131.0s] It's like a magic trick.
[2132.0s] It just keeps coming.
[2133.0s] You got like a C6 and A4.
[2136.0s] Okay.
[2137.0s] And how big are they?
[2138.0s] Like human size or big?
[2141.0s] No, like human size.
[2144.0s] Sully, that's kind of gross.
[2146.0s] I didn't.
[2147.0s] Was there a whole skeleton
[2148.0s] and you just like yoinked these out of the spine?
[2150.0s] No, no.
[2151.0s] It was just like a whole drawer full of them.
[2153.0s] I mean, that's also gross.
[2154.0s] The skeleton was in the drawer?
[2156.0s] No.
[2157.0s] Like pieces.
[2158.0s] Yeah, it was like the bone drawer.
[2160.0s] Like someone was doing a skeleton puzzle
[2162.0s] and you just like stole three pieces out of it
[2164.0s] because like that's kind of rude.
[2166.0s] Why?
[2167.0s] They're going to get almost done
[2168.0s] and then be like,
[2169.0s] you can't hold up his own neck now.
[2171.0s] And they're middle pieces too.
[2172.0s] How annoying is that?
[2174.0s] Because you're going to start with the toes and the skull
[2176.0s] and work in and you're going to get...
[2178.0s] See, look, that's an E6, right?
[2183.0s] If you count down and use two fingers
[2185.0s] and you do the thing.
[2186.0s] So that's going to be like the end of the night.
[2188.0s] Everyone's sitting around.
[2190.0s] Look, we're almost done with the puzzle, everyone.
[2192.0s] Huzzah, huzzah.
[2193.0s] We got through this difficult harvest season.
[2195.0s] And then three missing vertebrae
[2197.0s] and a missing bong.
[2198.0s] So someone's not going to have a good night either way.
[2200.0s] I think we're missing the point
[2204.0s] that this was a really bad dude
[2206.0s] and I don't think these bones were given voluntarily.
[2210.0s] Oh, you think this was like his like weird murder drawer.
[2214.0s] Yeah, I think it was very fanarious.
[2219.0s] Did you guys kill this guy already?
[2220.0s] Oh, yeah.
[2221.0s] Wait.
[2223.0s] Not exactly.
[2225.0s] Not like dead.
[2226.0s] He kind of like jumped through a portal
[2228.0s] but he left this book behind
[2230.0s] and I rummaged through my bag and I pull out this book.
[2233.0s] And what's the book called?
[2236.0s] I don't know.
[2237.0s] It's just got a bunch of ruins on it.
[2239.0s] Can I read the book?
[2240.0s] Can I read the ruins?
[2241.0s] You can roll a religion.
[2244.0s] I mean, if anyone should be able to roll
[2245.0s] a decent religion check around here.
[2247.0s] You know, it's crazy though.
[2248.0s] I don't have really high religion.
[2250.0s] You do in your heart though.
[2252.0s] That's where that...
[2253.0s] I do in my heart.
[2254.0s] Is it 16?
[2255.0s] You get a sense that you've seen ruins like this
[2262.0s] in a book you read probably back at home.
[2265.0s] They were surrounding like lore around demons,
[2271.0s] devils and the abyss.
[2274.0s] Just general knowledge.
[2276.0s] And then there were like samples of similar ruins
[2280.0s] like within the page.
[2282.0s] But there's no direct translation
[2285.0s] that you would be able to come up with for them.
[2288.0s] Have we checked this book for pictures?
[2290.0s] Yeah, I'd say you would have scanned through it
[2293.0s] and there are definitely pictures of...
[2296.0s] Like in the middle and they're glossy
[2298.0s] and it's like so nice to just look at and flip through.
[2301.0s] I don't even know what the book's about
[2302.0s] but I like the pictures.
[2303.0s] There are pictures of what look like organs.
[2308.0s] You would have seen...
[2309.0s] Wait, like hearts and lungs are like...
[2314.0s] Both.
[2315.0s] Both?
[2316.0s] Both.
[2317.0s] Different sections.
[2319.0s] One's in the first glossy section,
[2320.0s] one's in the second glossy section.
[2322.0s] You would have seen pictures of images of sacrifice,
[2328.0s] like people sacrificing themselves or others.
[2331.0s] There would have been one image that you saw
[2334.0s] of a landscape of like this roiling death place.
[2342.0s] Like where the landscape looked like it's made from
[2347.0s] decayed humanoid parts.
[2352.0s] Just a field of bones.
[2353.0s] Yeah.
[2354.0s] I think I have a timeshare there.
[2357.0s] It's like Northern Florida.
[2360.0s] Right?
[2361.0s] Yeah.
[2362.0s] Rings of El.
[2363.0s] Exactly.
[2364.0s] You make it back up there,
[2365.0s] there's clouds of smoke and stuff coming out.
[2366.0s] It looks like the flames have kind of extinguished themselves
[2369.0s] on the explosion.
[2371.0s] You're able to crouch down
[2373.0s] and get back to where you found this drawer.
[2375.0s] How was there an explosion?
[2377.0s] Did she throw a spider bomb at us first?
[2380.0s] Yes.
[2382.0s] Neat.
[2383.0s] Well, the green goblin showed up.
[2385.0s] It was a whole thing.
[2386.0s] There looked to be like vials along one wall
[2391.0s] and as you were fighting with her.
[2396.0s] Oh, you don't have to explain.
[2398.0s] It's okay.
[2399.0s] Bombs.
[2400.0s] Yeah.
[2401.0s] A spider bomb was thrown at us
[2403.0s] and that threw us out the window.
[2405.0s] It was an alchemy and mixing of vials.
[2407.0s] No, it was a spider bomb.
[2409.0s] It's cooler.
[2411.0s] Roger that.
[2412.0s] It was a spider bomb.
[2413.0s] You make it back to the drawer.
[2415.0s] Sully, you're probably zipping to the drawer.
[2417.0s] Yeah.
[2418.0s] You get back to the drawer
[2419.0s] and inside there looked to be
[2421.0s] the rest of the vertebrae
[2423.0s] to make up a full spinal column.
[2426.0s] There is a pelvic bone
[2429.0s] and a goat head skull.
[2433.0s] So there's a goat head skull,
[2436.0s] but do the rest of these bones look goaty?
[2439.0s] No.
[2440.0s] The pelvic bone and the vertebrae
[2442.0s] look humanoid
[2445.0s] and they're all resting in this
[2447.0s] porcelain basin that's in this drawer.
[2451.0s] It's weird.
[2453.0s] You guys do weird stuff.
[2455.0s] I mean, Bom, it's cool.
[2457.0s] I'm looking for some sales.
[2459.0s] I've got stuff to sort out,
[2461.0s] but this is just weird.
[2463.0s] I mean, while we're in here,
[2464.0s] we should look for that trickle-up stone.
[2466.0s] Maybe there's one.
[2467.0s] Oh, good idea.
[2468.0s] I want to take a look for that.
[2471.0s] I am going to agree with Wimren
[2474.0s] that this is weird and gross
[2476.0s] and it's making me very uncomfortable.
[2479.0s] So should we destroy these bones?
[2484.0s] I was just thinking maybe some smashing,
[2486.0s] because obviously these are used
[2488.0s] for some sort of
[2490.0s] like, you know,
[2492.0s] incarnation of its magical...
[2495.0s] You get it.
[2497.0s] You know, just like when calling upon
[2500.0s] the, you know, butterflies.
[2504.0s] Yeah, yeah.
[2505.0s] I'm out of my depth here.
[2506.0s] I'm not going to lie.
[2507.0s] Real bad vibes here.
[2509.0s] That's for sure.
[2510.0s] I want to smash a goat skull.
[2511.0s] Dibs.
[2512.0s] Dibs on the goat skull.
[2513.0s] Oh, are we smashing things?
[2514.0s] Can I do like this whole row of weird
[2516.0s] alchemy bottles that are precariously
[2518.0s] stored on the wall,
[2519.0s] but haven't blown up yet?
[2521.0s] Oh, okay.
[2523.0s] Absolutely.
[2524.0s] Can we smash the bones first
[2526.0s] and then all step away
[2528.0s] a little bit while you do that?
[2531.0s] That sounds good to me.
[2532.0s] I'm going to take my staff of the adder
[2534.0s] and just start to like
[2536.0s] smash the skull
[2538.0s] with my awful, very like
[2541.0s] jerk-off hand motions.
[2542.0s] I just use apologies
[2543.0s] to everyone watching that.
[2546.0s] It's like I was jerking off a giant.
[2548.0s] It was awful.
[2549.0s] So sorry.
[2550.0s] Okay.
[2551.0s] I don't know if it was awful.
[2552.0s] It's two-hander.
[2553.0s] It was a big skull
[2555.0s] and a smaller staff
[2557.0s] because I had it tailored.
[2560.0s] Things have gone weird.
[2562.0s] I've lost the thread.
[2563.0s] Yeah, no.
[2564.0s] It's here somewhere though.
[2565.0s] It all makes sense.
[2567.0s] Okay.
[2568.0s] Well, yeah, we can do
[2569.0s] what you want to do.
[2570.0s] I mean, I kind of pictured
[2572.0s] like an office space,
[2573.0s] like, you know,
[2574.0s] destroying the printer kind of move,
[2576.0s] like some hardcore rap
[2577.0s] starts up in the background.
[2578.0s] I totally just spit beer
[2579.0s] all over myself.
[2580.0s] Thanks for that.
[2581.0s] Can I have a tissue?
[2584.0s] I mean, I have...
[2585.0s] You can do whatever you want to do.
[2588.0s] I have that war pick.
[2589.0s] So, I mean,
[2590.0s] it's basically a magical sledgehammer.
[2592.0s] Yeah.
[2593.0s] So we take a moment
[2594.0s] and the four of you go around
[2595.0s] and smash these bones
[2597.0s] and yeah, they break.
[2598.0s] There's nothing,
[2599.0s] any magical or imbued about them.
[2602.0s] They smash with the appropriate force
[2605.0s] that you would expect them to smash.
[2606.0s] All right.
[2607.0s] You want to like
[2608.0s] break some jaws of stuff?
[2610.0s] Yeah.
[2611.0s] I mean, we've got all of these
[2612.0s] glass things up on the wall
[2613.0s] and we've already smashed the bones
[2616.0s] if we're going to keep smashing stuff.
[2617.0s] I think just, you know,
[2618.0s] these colorful vials
[2619.0s] are a great place to start.
[2621.0s] Are any of them labeled?
[2622.0s] No.
[2625.0s] Excellent.
[2626.0s] Is there anything else that looks
[2628.0s] like what is even in this room?
[2629.0s] A wall of vials,
[2630.0s] which is very tempting.
[2632.0s] Bone drawer with weird porcelain...
[2635.0s] The drawer with a porcelain chalice
[2637.0s] with the bones.
[2638.0s] Yeah, there's a wall of liquid,
[2641.0s] various different vials of liquid
[2643.0s] with ranging colors.
[2645.0s] It looks like outside of that,
[2648.0s] like you walked through what is now
[2650.0s] an exploded sec, you know,
[2652.0s] entry to what looks like a higher up office.
[2658.0s] The desk and everything is like charred
[2661.0s] and burned on top of the secretary's desk.
[2663.0s] The office in and of itself
[2665.0s] has a sign hanging from it
[2670.0s] that says,
[2671.0s] off to find the Grizzly Graers.
[2673.0s] And then it's like it's scattered papers,
[2676.0s] mostly from the tussle,
[2680.0s] the fight that went on.
[2682.0s] Otherwise, it just looks pretty,
[2684.0s] like a standard office.
[2686.0s] Well, nothing else looks great in here.
[2688.0s] And I feel like this is a real bad dude.
[2690.0s] So I guess Wimren do your worst.
[2694.0s] Yes, but I'm really...
[2695.0s] Swing away.
[2696.0s] I'm going to step away.
[2697.0s] We're just going to go over there.
[2699.0s] I'm just going to back up
[2700.0s] and you do whatever you want to do.
[2702.0s] Well, you know, it's starting to get a little late
[2705.0s] in the day, I think.
[2706.0s] So why don't I just cork one?
[2708.0s] I'm going to take the skinny purple bottle
[2710.0s] and just cork it.
[2711.0s] I'll put that in my tunic.
[2713.0s] And I'm going to take one small orange one
[2715.0s] and just chuck it out the hole in the wall
[2716.0s] and see what happens.
[2718.0s] Okay.
[2719.0s] So you threw it outside?
[2721.0s] Yeah, just...
[2722.0s] Just at the people of the street.
[2723.0s] Okay.
[2725.0s] You're bringing fun energy to this.
[2727.0s] Not at the people into the street.
[2729.0s] Just out the thing.
[2730.0s] There's no consequence to this action.
[2731.0s] No.
[2732.0s] Can there be?
[2733.0s] No, you...
[2734.0s] Have you played with rest before?
[2736.0s] There's so many consequences.
[2738.0s] You...
[2739.0s] You toss it out and you hear like this loud...
[2746.0s] And then there's kind of like this churning sound.
[2749.0s] Cool.
[2751.0s] All right.
[2752.0s] So what's next?
[2753.0s] Well, I guess more investigations.
[2756.0s] Like, Sully, remember there's two thirds of the people
[2759.0s] in Hardcastle just disappeared.
[2762.0s] Yeah, the houses are just kind of empty.
[2765.0s] Like, people just went on vacation,
[2768.0s] but like in the middle of the day today.
[2770.0s] Oh.
[2771.0s] Well, that's bad.
[2772.0s] Lots of weird stuff's been going on here.
[2774.0s] There's something going on in a lot of the cities.
[2776.0s] Is it?
[2777.0s] Is it?
[2778.0s] Because sometimes I think it might be us.
[2780.0s] Because every city we go to,
[2781.0s] something messed up's happening.
[2783.0s] But you're saying you've seen it too?
[2785.0s] Well, it is what I haven't seen.
[2787.0s] I mean, like I've got all of these barding goods here.
[2789.0s] Look here.
[2790.0s] Okay.
[2791.0s] So here, I'll give...
[2792.0s] You can have this leer.
[2794.0s] Oh.
[2795.0s] Yeah, play with that.
[2796.0s] Okay.
[2797.0s] All right.
[2798.0s] And I've got a couple of pan flutes here and a harmonica.
[2801.0s] I think it's in G, G sharp maybe.
[2803.0s] I'll just pass those over to you, Glim.
[2805.0s] You can have those for now.
[2806.0s] And I've also got these fun little things where you...
[2810.0s] It's a quick drawing thing and you draw someone
[2812.0s] and it teaches you how to draw them in different situations
[2815.0s] they're not actually in.
[2816.0s] That's a really popular thing at the bars.
[2818.0s] Anyway, all of that's gonna be about 15 gold.
[2821.0s] You can just pass that on to me when you're ready.
[2823.0s] But it's been really interesting
[2824.0s] because I've been going into these cities
[2826.0s] and there's often just no one around anymore, right?
[2830.0s] Normally you'd go in and there'd be people like,
[2832.0s] hey, what are you doing here?
[2833.0s] I've got stuff.
[2834.0s] I want to get stuff.
[2835.0s] And everyone wants to trade.
[2836.0s] And there's someone in the stocks
[2837.0s] and there's tomatoes and there's a dragon
[2839.0s] and there's blood in the streets.
[2840.0s] There's something going on.
[2841.0s] Sure, typical city stuff.
[2842.0s] Yeah, it's been pretty quiet.
[2845.0s] Huh.
[2846.0s] I'm sure it's nothing, but...
[2848.0s] I am relieved it's not just us.
[2850.0s] Sully, I was kind of thinking the same thing.
[2852.0s] I know it's my fate to save the world and blah, blah, blah,
[2854.0s] but it did seem like we were kind of bringing ruin
[2856.0s] and destruction everywhere we went,
[2857.0s] which doesn't seem like the best way to save the world.
[2861.0s] So I'm glad it's not.
[2862.0s] Is it like one of those,
[2863.0s] you have to break a couple eggs to make an omelet situation?
[2867.0s] I mean, I was starting to think that, but I'm glad.
[2870.0s] Well, gosh.
[2871.0s] On one hand, I'm glad it's not just us.
[2873.0s] On the other hand, not happy to hear that maybe things are bad
[2877.0s] kind of everywhere.
[2878.0s] Yeah, that makes it sound like saving the world
[2881.0s] is going to be like a really big job.
[2883.0s] I kind of expected it to be a little bit like,
[2887.0s] you know, like funneled down into a specific location.
[2892.0s] Do we have to go all over this place saving people?
[2896.0s] Yeah, I really don't know.
[2898.0s] You know, things have sort of...
[2900.0s] I don't want...
[2901.0s] I know you guys probably think I'm like been through a lot
[2903.0s] and I'm pretty tough and I have like a lot of character,
[2906.0s] but really like life's been pretty easy for me.
[2909.0s] And I sort of thought this whole saving the world thing
[2911.0s] would just like keep working that way.
[2913.0s] You know, I just like go and people would be kind and helpful.
[2917.0s] And then we just keep doing that
[2919.0s] and then everything would be great.
[2920.0s] I think that maybe that would have been the path you were on.
[2924.0s] But you invited me into this journey
[2926.0s] and I've never had that experience.
[2930.0s] Oh.
[2932.0s] Well, I guess I hoped that just you guys would be with me
[2935.0s] and we'd all like maybe get a bit scared
[2938.0s] and it'd be a bit dangerous,
[2939.0s] but mostly like we'd just be fine.
[2942.0s] There is something I heard.
[2946.0s] I don't know if it's substantial
[2948.0s] and I don't know if it really has anything to do
[2950.0s] with what you're doing.
[2951.0s] And I don't know if you're going to save the world with it.
[2953.0s] I'd have a good rumor though.
[2955.0s] It is a good rumor.
[2957.0s] So like you know that there's the trade routes
[2961.0s] are all up in the air right now, right?
[2964.0s] No.
[2965.0s] What's happening with that?
[2966.0s] So you've just been in a circle.
[2968.0s] Okay, wait, wait.
[2969.0s] Let's backtrack.
[2970.0s] How long have you been on the road for?
[2973.0s] Oh gosh, like a pretty long time.
[2975.0s] Yeah, it's been a little bit.
[2976.0s] I've grown kind of a beard.
[2979.0s] Okay.
[2980.0s] So you know of the difficulty in getting things
[2985.0s] between Termis, Chondeth and Tether right now?
[2990.0s] No, no.
[2991.0s] I haven't even heard those words before.
[2994.0s] Those are places.
[2996.0s] Glim.
[2997.0s] Yeah, I mean, through context clues, I assume.
[3000.0s] Yeah.
[3001.0s] Okay.
[3002.0s] Well, they're presumably places.
[3003.0s] They could be something else.
[3004.0s] I mean, they could be, you know, like brands, right?
[3008.0s] Different planes.
[3010.0s] There you go.
[3011.0s] Portals too.
[3012.0s] I mean, anything is possible.
[3013.0s] But so there's some trade issues.
[3016.0s] We don't really get it.
[3017.0s] Yeah, it's complicated and it's the soap opera sounding thing.
[3021.0s] And I've got like, I've heard writings about this paragraph that explains it,
[3026.0s] but I really haven't spent a lot of time looking for it.
[3030.0s] But you know, I'll dig around my bag as we're going.
[3033.0s] I have it written down on a slip of paper somewhere because I thought it was important.
[3037.0s] We hear barking outside the hole in the wall.
[3041.0s] Oh, that's my friend.
[3042.0s] He's back.
[3043.0s] He's probably come back with the thing.
[3044.0s] You go look out the hole in the wall and there's this huge,
[3047.0s] churning orange portal that the dog is running towards.
[3050.0s] You can get some mad bonuses when that dog goes through there.
[3054.0s] And it keeps running and falls in and then the portal sucks up clothes behind it.
[3059.0s] Question.
[3062.0s] Was it still on a leash?
[3065.0s] Is there a leash just like sticking out of the ground?
[3068.0s] Yes.
[3069.0s] Is there a child holding the end of it?
[3072.0s] Sad do you want this to be?
[3075.0s] Yeah, a child comes running around the corner and says, Sparky, Sparky, where are you?
[3099.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons Season 2, Episode 79, starring Amy More as Sullivan Sleight,
[3104.0s] Carla Maxted as Glim, Tom Laird as Jemima, and the rest of the cast of the show.
[3109.0s] We'll be right back.
[3111.0s] We'll be right back.
[3113.0s] We'll be right back.
[3115.0s] We'll be right back.
[3117.0s] We'll be right back.
[3119.0s] We'll be right back.
[3121.0s] We'll be right back.
[3123.0s] We'll be right back.
[3125.0s] We'll be right back.
[3127.0s] Maxted as Glim, Tom Laird as Moot, and me, your Dungeon Master, Russ More,
[3132.0s] with guest Michael Howey as Wimren Saris.
[3135.0s] Editing, production and sound design by Russ More.
[3137.0s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,
[3141.0s] Sound Ideas and Boom Library.
[3143.0s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers, Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok, Mark Heartless,
[3148.0s] Stevie, Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Christian Brown, Devin Michaels, Aaron Stevens,
[3153.0s] Eric Houlihan, and Ray Surbeck.
[3155.0s] To support Dumbgeons & Dragons and our many other productions and get access to an exclusive podcast
[3160.0s] called The Adventure Self, bonus episodes, and much more, please join our Patreon at
[3165.0s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[3167.0s] You can also follow us at facebook.com slash dumb dragon podcast.
[3171.0s] And on Twitter, at dumb dragon cast.
[3173.0s] Thank you for listening.
[3175.0s] Have a great week, and we'll talk again soon.
[3183.0s] For your knowledge.
[3187.0s] The old lady.
[3189.0s] If you're new.
[3191.0s] This is not the first time Russ has been like, oh, hey, this is this thing.
[3195.0s] And we're all like.
[3197.0s] I'm having such a moment.
[3199.0s] It was such a long time ago.
[3201.0s] Michael had a list of things about the podcast, so he is actually much more informed
[3205.0s] about what's happening.
[3207.0s] You probably know so much more than I do right now.
[3209.0s] Maggie was Baron Jasek's secretary.
[3211.0s] For your for your knowledge, which you can explain in podcast here shortly, Maggie,
[3217.0s] you don't know this.
[3219.0s] Maggie turned into a giant spider wielding a dagger because you found a secret compartment
[3227.0s] inside the ex-baron's office.
[3229.0s] Oh, did I see what was in the compartment before she turned into a giant spider?
[3235.0s] Where's the smoke coming from?
[3237.0s] Some bones.
[3239.0s] Some bones.
[3241.0s] That's where the smoke's coming from.
[3243.0s] It's bongs.
[3245.0s] Zed and Z gave you basically carte blanche to go search the entire place.
[3249.0s] But now we're in combat.
[3251.0s] Oh, gosh.
[3253.0s] So this is the really nice elderly secretary.
[3257.0s] Yeah.
[3259.0s] She turned into this.
[3261.0s] I don't recall her being super nice.
[3263.0s] I thought she was OK.
[3265.0s] She'd never wait for very long.
[3267.0s] She was a sex fiend, but I don't remember her being overly nice.
[3269.0s] I really missed a lot.
[3271.0s] Oh, fuck.
[3273.0s] Well, you know what? I've forgotten a lot of it.
[3275.0s] Sorry, Michael, I'm not this sloppy, usually.
[3277.0s] You just caught me.
[3279.0s] Maybe laugh.
[3281.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.