previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
you want to meet your creator yes i want to know why i was made well you were you were made as an
experiment but for no purpose just to see if he could do it is he evil he's evil right no he's
got to be evil i mean he sounds a little evil don't don't don't look not he's not evil he
was trying out some things uh because he was getting in good with uh with this guy who you
know i told him he was kind of evil you see a scene play out in front of you he sent you off
and he runs back to his chamber closes and locks the door behind him he begins writing
a note the door bursts open behind him and in behind them almost floats
a dark elf with long white hair small smile a smirk comes across this dark elf's face
well my friends i i feel like my work here is now i think only just beginning i need to
to find this balonious crims and get justice well i'm in i don't know about about you others
oh i'm happy to help yes this person seems to command just the type of thing i am
well still kicking around to deal with well Lex or lee or ranger or whatever your name
might be tomorrow
where to next
i think we need to leave this place
and go back to that town and get some more information
so
welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons i'm your dungeon master rusk more he him and with me today
carla max dead she her tonight i am playing Lexington a human fighter slash pAlydin
he him tom layered as well he him and tonight i'm playing perseus a lightfoot halfling warlock who
also goes by he him and joining us again if you haven't noticed we're in Lexus story which that
means that rev from the crit show is back he him i am here playing margaret broad cloak
the human monster hunter she her rev it's a delight to have you back i'm so excited thank
you so much yeah welcome back welcome back excited i was looking at it like when did
we last play this game because like it was pretty fresh in my mind because it was a memorable game
it's a long time ago almost one year ago i know i just looked at my notes and it was like oh
this is like 11 months ago this happened oh back in the olden days when there used to be other
people in the world not just floating heads on screens it was like i think we recorded
probably like that week like two days later the whole world shut down it's wild before
exactly that's that's why it's so fond in our in our mind but there's been a lot that's happening
over this year and you have another project or an expanded project with the crit show that you
have kind of going on that we would love to share with our audience here rep yeah yeah we
have just started a weekly twitch series monday nights at eight p.m eastern for about
two and a half hours we have brought on six different game masters and over the course of
the next year they are all going to run a eight session story in the game of their choosing the
game that they had pitched in their audition so by the time this comes out we will have announced
it so we are playing ghostbusters international we're playing a star wars game we're playing
masks new generation we're playing all kinds of of independent and powered by the apocalypse
games that sounds very cool we'll link all of the twitch and all of the crit shows information
down in the description go check it all out and hang in hang out in some of those streams
because that sounds like a blast yeah i'm excited where you can get in on some live
streams with just just us being goons and goofballs is over on Patreon Patreon.com slash
dumb dragon cast where when you join us you get an episode dedicated to you as well like
today's patron bald mouse is this like a take on dead mouse what's happening here yeah i really
like an industrial accident or oh okay yeah maybe yeah uh b a a l d m a u s s so bald
sounds like bald i like it when it is non-english just normal names because
russ is like going so strong going so strong here goes he's doing it his face is great
he steers into the skit it's delightful it's good he goes he powers right into it and i
i admire it so Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast we'd love to have you over there
and now fuck it let's play
it's been about a month since we last met up with Lex perseus margaret and arvid
in their last adventure tracking down nickle real Lex's creator to find out why Lex was created
your journey sent you to the town of glickfast where you met an old acquaintance
in marvam dundalfoot a courier of nickel reels who led you to nickle reels workshop
there you found mixed emotions in nickle real having had experimented on these deceased or
undead entities trying to bring them back to life Lex it appeared that you were the only one
who nickle real had managed to bring to life and give a full life back to
while there you had come across an illusory scene left almost as an implanted memory in
this space of nickle real's workshop having been attacked by a sinister looking dark elf
and a battalion of what could only be described as his soldiers within this space you came across
a letter that nickle real had written and addressed to lee this letter had been badly
damaged and burned but you could make out one nearly full name and other part names the letter
read to lee thelonious primes a series of hash marks
the beginning of another name j y s e another name m o r d e and a final
name before the page was torn off v a r having collectively decided in that moment
that the new goal was to find this thelonious primes and or the dark elf depicted in the
illusory memory the four of you set off in search of anything or anyone you could find to
help track this person down your journey for the last month has led you across the
sword coast following lead after lead trying to track down this mystery man who seemingly
has left no trail except half stories and misremembered events marvam believed he heard
the name from a black market dealer in glickfest that name was vafreet graystone
a smooth young dwarf dealing in organs and illicit drugs in the underbelly of the city
of glickfest marvam leads you there through the city and knocks on the door there's a grinding
metal slider that opens up and like a deep red light coming from within
marvam gives the password quietly at the door and it swings open and he leads you in and there's
rows and rows of these poorly dressed younger dwarves and humans packaging up different items
they lead you back through this dingy and musky filled room to an office at the back
door opens and marvam steps in vafreet hey friend i brought some people here
they're looking for a person maybe uh maybe you might have heard i thought you mentioned the
name uh it you know maybe uh maybe one of you you threes take it and uh i just i just
here to just make sure that you you know they're on the up and up and nobody's trying to just
swindle anybody here okay vafreet straightens himself up at his desk he's a very broad built
dwarf older he has long like gnarled hair black hair speckled with gray throughout it's got
scar that cuts right across his face over his mouth well who are you and what's name you're
looking for my name is Lex and we're looking for several people we just have scraps to go on but
the most complete name is thelonious prims
does that seem familiar to you well maybe it does what's uh what's in it for me to remember
a name well we can offer some compensation we can offer services
depends on the value of the name and the kind of information you have
thelonious you say that's that's the name yes yeah it might might spark a spark a ring or two
of where i might have heard that name could give you a location of a possible lead is that what
they say in the hunting down people business i look at margaret that's her business she'd
know the terminology uh lead i suppose is what you could call it perfect wow it's been a
while since i heard the name but uh might give you a place to start you seem like fine
fine uh find interesting people well we we are we have business with with this person
okay well i got uh let's let's put it this i've got to get some of my goods
transferred to actually to the location actually yeah you're funny little man
uh i've got some goods that need to go down to a city that could be in the proximity of
this lead that i have well it seems like pretty good luck for us
does doesn't it yes what amazing coincidence also what's the last name because i don't think
it's just prims but like do you know the rest of it or do i have to guess it i don't know
prims wheel full prims sky prims blossom tell me if i'm getting close look i've heard the first
name felonious is uh i mean it's not a super common name so it's not it popped up a couple
times a year or so prims buckle arva just puts his hand on uh perseus's shoulder give it give
it a moment i just thought i thought it would be fun to guess you're doing a great job
okay thanks arvid so question out of game when you were describing what we saw when we walked
in in my mind what i saw is like in every movie where you go into where they're putting
drugs together and everyone is just in their underwear is that what it was like uh so
basically yeah like it's all drugs um and there are sealed containers um with unknown things um
but like they look like they look like coolers neat if you know a cooler in a medieval fantasy
world picture picture that uh that's what they look like great like a very tiny ice
elemental just hugging something yes just blood running down his chest
i went from cute to disturbing very quickly took a real turn i had a life once
well how what's the volume of these goods you need do we need a wagon it's something
we can carry can you give us some logistical answers of where we might be going and what
we might be taking he flips a couple pages open uh in a ledger on his desk it's just oh
it's oh it's nothing the satchel you carry in there it could easily fit inside of that
yeah
high value though well and i look at my friends i'm on board i want to find this person
that destroyed nick areal so
you guys in well you don't even have to ask of course Lex yes is um
looking around the room at all of the people like packing up boxes and stuff
you know you said that they were dressed very shabbily what kind of condition are they in like
physically like their their health there many of them appear malnourished tired would be
a good descriptor it's it's quite warm in the there's a good heat coming throughout
coming throughout throughout this room um some of them do appear to be showing signs of
dehydration yes i suppose anything to ease our journey and give some respite to the folks
working here if there's a couple other items you've got to take if it means that
well everyone here gets to have a little bit of a rest or maybe you don't have to
and quite as many runners yeah everybody's treated very well here
not many complaints no yes yeah isn't that right you just hear yeah
i'm not feeling great about this maybe they could be singing like some sort of you know
sea shanty or workman song in the background to increase productivity
yes i've been working on the railroad slinging body parts see it all comes together
selling hearts and livers i'll be home before it's dark i start it's dark ah good one yeah
but free maybe you could give us a moment just to confirm amongst ourselves
sure new tasks want to consult with the group you understand of course take take your time
do you need the room i just i gotta go do the rounds anyways you know you just take the room
i'll be right back oh that's that's very polite of you thank you yeah he gets up and
he walks by and pushes by and says yeah i'll just be back in a couple minutes don't you
worry closes the door
so i'd like to know where this Thelonious character is but this whole place is not
this is not great we can agree on that yes well very much so yeah i don't feel wonderful
about just walking away from what is clearly seems like a bad situation do you think we
should try to help i mean if we go to dark ends to find an answer to the things you're trying
to solve we may not like what we become in the end yes we don't want to become the
terrible monsters we're chasing right we want to retain our humanity for lack of a better word
yes exactly yeah we'd hate to be a real prims bottom
so close so so close i'll keep i'll keep workshopping it yeah prims prims
could be prims i don't even know where to go with this yes that's probably what it is
he's probably a steen or a stein it's nice they didn't have to change it at ellis island
yeah fantasy ellis island
uh well what are we saying are we saying burn this motherfucker to the ground Lex arvid's
so forceful just exactly what i would expect from you and i like it um if we were going
to burn this mother down i'd want to get all of those whore wretches out there out first
mm-hmm yes and if possible the information uh from our friend perhaps he comes back
in we give him a few knocks get what we need out of him and um as you said burn this mother down
um did he have um there was like a security person that brought us in to see him or
what's house other than these poor starving sad working people it what's what do defenses look
like as you entered there were two guards at the door um both heavier set um armed dwarven
males um one of them led you back uh to uh vafreet's room you didn't see many others
no you wouldn't have seen any others walking back through the main room there
so as far as you've seen two armed guards plus uh the main boss guy
well we could always just say sure give us the information give us the package
and we'll head out and then turn on him rather than trying to beat it out of him
so hard to rely on information you get from torture oh yeah we could we could give him like
an ultimatum after after he gives us the information like shut it down or we burn it down
and we'll find primstone ourselves yes that's true sometimes people will say whatever they need
to when they're under duress it's true all right well that's as much of a plan as we
ever have so the door swings open well done the rounds does it give you enough time sorry
i didn't mean to start it there no no it's your office of course come and come and go as you
please i think we've decided that we'd like the information about Thelonious and we're willing
to carry your valuable package for you seems pretty straightforward you came to the
conclusion that the information was worth the worth the journey i think so in a rural
deception sure i'm probably bad at that let's see
that was 14 okay well it seems like a pretty straight trait then great and where's this
package you need us to take and where are we going goes over back over to his desk and again
flips to a different page in his ledger and well Thelonious okay Thelonious i heard it a few
times through some different market channels of folks looking for bits and bobs you know that's
what we call it in the business last i heard the hand of Yartar was doing business with them
easy place to go missing did anyone else think when he mentioned a hand that it belonged to
a person i assumed is that the name of a place oh yes sorry the hand of Yartar is an organization
of a fractious thieves guild made up entirely of women in the city of Yartar so where you can
generally find them and where i need you to deliver certain goods is to their their home base
the tavern called wink and a kiss in Yartar in Yartar all right does this seem on the level
what he's saying uh you can roll an insight okay or i guess yeah insight or history depending
on what kind of if you're you're trying to just get his feel or like actual world information
uh insight would be a 19 you feel like he's being um completely honest
um as honest as as he he can be um if you do want to roll if anybody does want to roll
history you can see if you've heard of um this thieves guild or of the the tavern i would say
that uh margaret for sure maybe not lax but arvid definitely like me and ursius have
yeah very limited knowledge of the world it was a rat for a while
margaret and arvid would definitely have knowledge of the city of yartar
so the city itself exists um if you want further information on uh the guild and its
makeup and if it if it does exist then you can roll a history but um as far as you are concerned
it does appear that he's being uh straightforward and and as honest as he feels he needs to be
uh with this transaction okay uh history would be an 18 so you know that the hand of yartar
is in fact a thieves guild um one that um didn't it hasn't reached
much a large amount of notoriety throughout the land there's a lot there was a lot of
infighting throughout the beginning so it's taken them a long time to kind of
get things working but they do operate out of yartar and have been known uh in some
circles to deal in similar similar illicit goods uh yeah i will just kind of give a
little glance to Lex and give a short nod all right then we will be off to yartar as soon
as you give us what it is we need to take of course of course hey bring it in
and one of the guards followed by another man who you didn't recognize the first time
you came in he's a large built human man um he's carrying a few packages i guess is probably a
better word um of materials and one of the uh ice elementals this is it uh just a couple
packages uh it's got to go to uh uzumaki current leader of the hand of yartar
they're expecting it she'll know you're coming you just tell her that vafreet sent you
and you've got the goods she also should have some information on your thelonious
great thank you and i go to take the packages they freely give them to you
i don't feel prepared for what is about to happen but that's okay i feel like Lex um
feels a lot a lot of empathy a lot of feeling not a lot of thinking yeah yeah more more heart
driven than head driven so he's going to take the packages and uh put them in his bag
and then he's going to draw his greatsword hey what's going on here what is going on here
what are you doing to those poor people out there running a business here friend
i'd be careful with swinging that around i don't know that i will be those people don't seem
to want to be here to be well treated by you at all everything okay out there
there uh see it's all good yeah that wasn't the overwhelming happy workforce
i'd like to see in a manufacturing facility that just sounded like you throwing your voice out
the door well i did want to be a ventriloquist in a past life so what's the plan here you're
going to swing your sword around knock us out maybe take us out you know there's somebody
else in line well just fill the void in behind it maybe but you're standing right in front of me
and i don't like you very much
i'm gonna swing it up okay here we go y'all yeah swing and then we'll roll initiative okay uh
26 she's just fine seems like that'll do it okay he was called beefy boy recall he's a he's
a large creature he was known as beefy boy for a while okay yeah swing away it's 14 damage
you swing out and immediately as it cuts into him where do you where do you aim for here um i
feel like maybe i was inspired by all this hand talk and i'm trying to chop off one of his
hands sure yeah let's say okay the fritz got his hands like on his desk so with a 26 and 14 damage
pick your hand
what hand was he using to like hand us things with her gesture with
can i roll insight to see which hand dominant he is i i'll give it to you it was he was
more gestured uh with his right great than i he doesn't really maybe think i'm so serious but i'm
i'm mad so i just just swing that big old sword right through his wrist sever his hand
it swings through like glides through like butter and he doesn't move because he's trying
to call your bluff at this point and then he looks down and like his arm drops to the table
and he lets out like this guttural scream get them and i'll need you to roll initiative that
seems fair i mean i feel like it's well earned 19 11 i was really worried i'd roll really low
and have started this fight and be like see you guys later arvid got a 12 what's margaret got
18 okay Lex uh you're up first so you've got two guards behind you you just hear them
begin to rush towards you you don't necessarily you didn't notice any visible like longswords
or anything like that but they're rushing towards you um the fritz in front of you
bloody stump pouring down over his desk and floor at this point yeah i feel like i have
at least momentarily distracted the fritz so i'm gonna spin around and uh attack one of
the guards with my sword i don't do a great job it's a 13 13 does not hit do i oh god who cares
i have like a thousand attacks i forgot there's three attacks at this guy uh 15 these are bad
rolls you guys uh 15 does not hit 16 third time's the charm 16 does hit okay we found it
jeez process of elimination that's good that's almost max damage that is 11 plus four is 15
damage okay you got two guys coming at you one on your left one on your right which one do you
go for probably the one on the right okay uh so yeah you turn and swing back and cut into
him and he lets out a yell and falls to the ground bleeding heavily margaret um the second
guard is still rushing towards Lex at this point uh you hear commotion out in uh out in
the main area you see a lot of the just like the workers for lack of a better term kind of
look towards the door um and you see one more guard rushing from uh the front where you came
in uh i'm going to uh draw my shield and step in front of Lex uh at you know in between her
and the other charging guard i'm gonna look at them and say your boss is right when this is all
over someone will have to take over if it's someone who does it the way we like it
i'd very carefully consider your next action it could be you okay uh are you looking to
persuade or intimidate what do you i think it's persuade because i think he's right like
someone will fill this in but if they were doing it in a way that didn't piss us off
so much at least that would be something all right roll persuasion natural 20
even they realize margaret is such a fucking badass they're so convinced this hulking tree
trunk of a man stops before this little old lady who's giving him a stern talking to and he
just he stops and he's like in serious contemplation at this point like he's no
longer moving aggressively but he's you can see like the slow gears kind of kick into place
as he is stopped there i'll even just say why don't you step aside and think about it for a
moment and let us deal with this oh yeah he takes a few steps over to a chair in the corner
and he's he's thinking about it for free it's like what the what are you doing hit her she's
little he's getting a promotion it's for freet's turn and he reaches below his desk
and pulls out a crossbow and points it at you Lex seems fair did he reach with his stump hand
he reaches with his stump hand once and he's like oh man got me again uh and then reaches
with his good hand so he's gonna roll with disadvantage for being non-dominant here
um which is oh nat 20 and a five so five plus four is nine that probably doesn't hit no that
won't hit a bolt goes wide over your head and into the wall behind you um you hear the guard
that's running up he's yelling out to someone um you don't know who out there uh it's arvid's
turn well should i do should i do something dangerous yes please or help the people out
there up to you oh okay uh he goes and he steps uh to the door towards the guard that's running
towards him and he's going to cast that's dangerous yeah let's do that he's going to cast
a spell called negative energy flood oh boy that sounds fun you send ribbons of negative
energy at one creature you can see within range of 60 feet unless the target is undead
it must make a con saving throw which it rolls a two he rolls a two so he does not
make that uh or he takes 5d 12 necrotic damage
this is arvid like weaponizing that general creepy feeling that he gives everyone
except for except for this crew that seems seems on board with him but so that is
uh 25 damage which does kill the guard uh a target killed by this damage rises up as a
zombie at the start of your next turn the zombie pursues whatever creature it can that is closest
to it oops oh no i did it i did you see look and you just see like this these tendrils of
of like black energy like sapping the life out of this guard who falls to the ground
just like i did something cool that was pretty cool maybe you'll have to show me that one later
arvid yeah this is going to be one to keep i think perseus it's your turn i am going to
throw a bunch of eldritch blasts towards uh the freight okay i've got four of them so i'm
going to make uh ranged attack spells please do all right first one's a 25 yep second one's
a nat 20 okay third one's a 24 uh-huh and another 24 for the fourth one okay well all of those hit
perfect okay here we go
it's lots of d10s i should have grabbed more d10s which is not something i usually have to
say no i also feel like there's been a lot of nat 20s rolled so far like not all of them
able to be used but still 24 force damage blast into him and he gets knocked back and into like
this bookshelf that just crumbles and he like just slumped down on the ground groaning
but he's not dead yet Lex it's your turn um okay so can you clarify where everyone's at
one's turned into a zombie that hadn't made it into the room yet uh yeah we don't know
that they've turned into a zombie yet but that will happen on arvids next turn okay perfect
the freak got blasted backwards from his desk so he's in the room still in front of you
one of the guards margaret gave a stern talking to and is sitting in a chair just
thinking thinking hard one guy's behind you the guy who got uh arvidized it called to
someone who hasn't shown up yet okay i think i'm going to just attack the freight again
okay that's a 13 that's a 20 that's a 22 the 20 and 22 hit great is 25 damage tell me how you
kill the freight you think as like a parts person myself i just chop his head off i don't
know i feel like i'm i'm okay with just taking body parts apart yeah i was gonna say he already
took the hand just just just chop his head off and turn and look at the guy that's sitting and
thinking and say all we want is good conditions for your workers uh huh something to consider
death for you or breaks and fair compensation something to think about
as you say that a another human male comes like running around the corner he's in
armor like head to toe and he's got a great sword and a mace and he's swinging the mace
and he looks at the scene and he pauses looking at like the massacre before him and the guy in
the chair looks at him it's just gives him the just maybe maybe not today sign just across his
neck he stops swinging it and kind of puts it down says uh everything okay in here
i think maybe you're under new management
okay star wipe
cut to a new scene knowing that everyone is happy well compensated and can go pee
as much as they want during their shift much as they want no more puddles it's all good
whoo okay um so taking uh vafreet's information oh yeah there was a zombie there what'd you do
with the zombie i was gonna ask have we have we seen this before is this the first time
that that arvid has done this good question there wasn't a lot of battle collectively
i think it would have been the first time that you would have seen that so
let's cut back the guards like yeah okay cool yeah uh lots of pee breaks good and then you
hear like this groaning of the zombie standing up and he begins moving towards that armored
guard i think i just draw my uh mace of disruption and stay walk around behind the
guard and hit it as it approaches yeah it's it's not hard to hit and doesn't have a
lot of hit points it uh you connect and it like explodes out into the room and falls to the ground
just remember we'll check back in here to make sure things are going well and
that could be you okay is it primsby
hey it's the middle it's the middle it's the lightest middle
it's just it's the happiest sunshiniest rainbowiest middle nothing bad happens in the middle so
pleasant here it's like a nice warm bath it's the inside of a twinkie you guys it's fluffy
it's sweet one of those fleece blankets that you just like wrap around yourself but then
aren't you the middle it's nice yeah you're in the delicious middle yeah you're in the middle
hey everybody glad to have you here listening to this episode with us we had a couple weeks
off hopefully you enjoyed that q a that we dropped for you we answered all of your questions if you
ever have questions just send them to us um but what we want to tell you about is this great
goal we've got going on in this cool spot called Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast
where when we hit 85 patrons we're going to hang out in one of those those video chat things
where you can come and hang out too and give us suggestions and guide us through an adventure
in an unscripted fashion much like how we record all of our adventures yeah but with your input not
ours yeah so i'm like hold on hold on hold on russ just made it sound like we script any of this
we don't that we do we do not see no no an important yes an important clarification this
is all just yeah it's all just flying off the top of the dome and what we're saying is
please give us better domes to come up with ideas let us use your dome our dome yeah that's
yeah we're gonna call it thunder dome it's the thunder dome goal i like it i like it i like
it a lot we're a little ways away from our next goal which is 85 patrons where we're going to
play this super awesome uh improv game with our patrons and we can't wait for you to be there
so come join us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast and we'll see you over there
okay thank you have a great day and now okay brace yourself we're about to exit the middle
oh no it's okay it's okay it's not as bad as you think
exactly so taking the information for you got from the freak you make your way down
hopping caravans until you reach a guide to take you up the river desarin all in
totaling a solid 10 day to navigate the trails and rapids before the river splits
off heading toward yarta you dock in the city's small port and make your way through the
bustling city until you find the tavern wink and a kiss you head inside and make your way
to the bartender who is a young human woman she has long curly brown hair brown eyes and her skin
is a deep brown tan beneath her sleeves you see line art tattoos creeping up from her arms and
out under her long sleeves and she sees you approach and calls to says ah you new around
here what can i get you uh what kind of locally sourced cheese do you have uh we're
not a big uh cheesery uh we just got just got your regular old orange no okay
would you like really what i was hoping for well i'm sorry uh i can go check in the back if
that's something you want um i'll i'm okay for now okay um i'll i'll have an ale and also
we're we're looking for uzumaki we have something for her uh you have something for uh
uzumaki she goes to pour your ale and anybody else who signals that they want one and brings
them over and uh since uh how what do you what do you have for uh for miss uzu uh something
from the freight interesting okay um well here's your drinks uh anything else i can get you i'll
go let her know you're here and uh and and and see see what we can do for you thank you are
you all right am i all right yes yes um yes yes i am i am fine normally people don't say
that with a question mark at the end sorry i am fine i want to just glance around to see
like if if anyone is watching this interaction what's your passive perception my passive
perception is 22 oh yeah it's reasonably busy um it's kind of mid-day so you're a bit
between lunch and dinner crowds um she's not looking to anyone in particular um there are
a few people who look over to you as you noticed as you entered but nothing more than uh hearing
the door open and seeing somebody enter and then giving you a once you know look up and
down just because you're you're new in town or new to this uh you know they haven't been
seen here before as far as the room goes like it's a it's a darker lit uh tavern there
are finely woven tapestries a couple paintings of of the harbor and of the city
nothing really to give away any sort of person or place just just landscapes and and and that
sort of thing um you hear noise coming from the kitchen in the back there's only one
other doorway or passageway looks like a hallway kind of on the other side of the room
from where the bar is uh yeah just kind of getting a sense that there's just a general
unease about her yep uh i'll just i'll just pat her hand perhaps get yourself a drink as well
take the edge off thank you thank you yeah i might have one uh she she hands you eat your
drinks and uh says i'll try and find your cheese there too oh that'd be that'd be so
great and she heads off and back down uh the the one hallway uh leaving you four there
for a brief moment before she returns if there's anything you would like to discuss
separately uh i think i would just look at everyone and say you know unlike where we were
a few days ago we're going to see if we do if we aren't able to get a meeting with the hand
many other things we may not like but it won't be the same situation where we
four can power our way through it so very carefully pick your battles yeah i'm thinking
it's entirely possible that we just have a bunch of people come out with weapons
this is why i need you here my friends i just it just seems obvious i'm looking for a person
i ask for the person but you're right i'm hoping i'm hoping the hand is more of a
a collective not terrible conditions people doing what they want freely not like not like where
we were with with vatir but maybe i'll sit back a little and see i'm not the best to
lead negotiations oh you're just fine to lead negotiations you did a great job and i got to
do something cool and new that was very cool yes very disturbing too yeah had you done that
before did you know that there was gonna be like a zombie dude afterwards didn't no i've
tried it once before long time ago um we didn't hang around for very long afterwards
so maybe that happened oh so there could just be some zombie running around well i mean that is
that is par for the oh god you don't think that one started maybe from now on
we'll make sure that they're they're down for good before just moving on yeah puts his head
down sits down it's like i don't i don't think it was that one okay uh you see the woman come
back over and she has in her hand um a small like cloth wrapped parcel and she puts it down
in front of you perseus and you immediately smell it is a very fine strong cheese oh boy
here we go perseus is time to shine
and i am ignoring whatever else is happening at this table now uh uh miss miss uzu uh
it was umaki uh she's uh was expecting a delivery from vafrit and uh would see you i
will take you back as soon as you're ready no rush have your drinks have your cheese uh if
there's anything else i can get you and then uh we can be on with business um i think we
probably just wait while perseus eats his cheese he seemed pretty focused we probably
weren't going to go anywhere while that happened okay um while we're sitting there
does it seem like anyone is taking any notice of us any more than seems
unusual we are an unusual looking group you are a motley crew um no uh yeah i would say no more
than what you're used to walking into similar establishments uh just based on the makeup of
your group an old lady a tall creepy dude a piece together puzzle man and uh and a rattling
we're this world's kiss exactly um but yeah no more than than you would otherwise uh find in a
in a neutral territory great so you finish your cheese and she leads you down uh back
down this hallway uh and it which turns into a series of hallways and it's several minutes
walking down before you realize that even if you had been paying attention to the direction
quickly there's no way you can remember which direction you had come i suddenly have this
thought in my head that i have a special ability that makes it so i always know where north is
and i don't know why i think that okay i mean it seems like something that margaret would
have yeah this is what happens when i only play dnd three times a year and it's with
all of you yeah uh yeah keen mind do you always know which way is north
and the number of hours left before the sun sets or rises all right well you are
um i can't trick you with my with my hallway puzzle um but everybody else like you get this
like you know you're tracking like lefts and rights as you go but all the hallways and doors
look identical um you see in past several paintings that you swear look like copies
of ones you had passed previously this set of hallways that she's walking you through
give you the very distinct feeling that it's been designed this way so that people
once they're in need to be led out otherwise they are stuck there margaret because of your
ability to always you know your divining rod that you carry in your pocket always know
which way is north so you you have a better understanding i'd say you'd have
to get back out you would not be at disadvantage um to to retrace your steps there for sure
okay so after several confusing minutes um the bartender opens a door and ushers you in
to a warm office space where you see a female elf seated at a modest desk
surrounded by tomes and scrolls there's a fire burning in a stove in the corner of the room
that fills it with this hickory and orange smell i have to say it's a little ironic that
normally in you know my previous form i would get the cheese after going through the maze
but this time i had it before the woman looks up and smiles and says uh you are a different
delivery group than previous please come in have a seat thank you yes thank you there there has
been some management changes at the fritz so things may be different in your dealings with
them in the future i look forward to learning more about that uh my name is uzumaki uh you
look at her and she is in a a hooded cloak the hood is down um there are colorful spirals
all over her cloak um she has very long slender fingers she's very pale like porcelain skin
almost um and she has just this soft sweet smile as the bartender moves a few chairs
from the side of the room so the four of you can sit on the the one side of her desk
she says um you have a you have a delivery for me yes and and a request oh she's flipping
open a ledger and uh just moving her finger down she's um well uh what is your request
and i'm sorry your names were i'm Lex oh hi i'm perseus here margaret uh yes uh arvid arvid
is how you say that of innistrad of i wasn't going to brag but uh yes of innistrad
um it's a pleasure to meet you all um as i'm talking i am going to um put my bag down in
front of me and start pulling out those two packages or whatever it is he gave us
yes the two packages and the the ice elemental right of course cooler bag right
um she she takes them from you and slides them across the desk and you see her kind of
make a note in her book beside a couple different lines and she says yes this
this all checks out okay well what uh what is it i can help you with we're looking for someone
named felonious prims prims friend prims gown her smile disappears
you mean felonious prims bay oh that was way off
so
Dumbgeons and Dragons season two episode 78 starring carla max dead as Lexington tom laird as
perseus and Russ More as your dungeon master with guest rev as margaret broadcloak find more
from rev at the crit show podcast.com editing production and sound design by Russ More
this episode featured music from epidemic sound and sound effects from epidemic sound and boom
library a huge thank you to our supporting producers gabriel lynch jessica Babyok mark
heartless stevie cat water flame jacob madden christian brown devin michaels aaron stevens
eric hulahan and ray serbeck to support Dumbgeons and Dragons and our many other
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slash dumb dragon podcast and on twitter at dumb dragon cast thank you for listening
have a great week we'll talk again soon well maybe it does what's uh what's in it for me
to remember a name while we're stumped yeah we have we have nothing to offer this person
uh that's hilarious just a long pause and then uh we can be on with business
i can't remember if that was the voice i was using is a little higher not british
i'll recut that if it sounds weird i'm sure it's fine we're all here and we don't remember
what it sounded like i think she's been swapped out yeah it's a doppelganger no
oh sorry margaret had an uneasy feeling that's right
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