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previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.

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you want to meet your creator yes i want to know why i was made well you were you were made as an

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experiment but for no purpose just to see if he could do it is he evil he's evil right no he's

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got to be evil i mean he sounds a little evil don't don't don't look not he's not evil he

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was trying out some things uh because he was getting in good with uh with this guy who you

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know i told him he was kind of evil you see a scene play out in front of you he sent you off

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and he runs back to his chamber closes and locks the door behind him he begins writing

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a note the door bursts open behind him and in behind them almost floats

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a dark elf with long white hair small smile a smirk comes across this dark elf's face

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well my friends i i feel like my work here is now i think only just beginning i need to

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to find this balonious crims and get justice well i'm in i don't know about about you others

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oh i'm happy to help yes this person seems to command just the type of thing i am

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well still kicking around to deal with well Lex or lee or ranger or whatever your name

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might be tomorrow

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where to next

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i think we need to leave this place

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and go back to that town and get some more information

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so

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welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons i'm your dungeon master rusk more he him and with me today

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carla max dead she her tonight i am playing Lexington a human fighter slash pAlydin

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he him tom layered as well he him and tonight i'm playing perseus a lightfoot halfling warlock who

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also goes by he him and joining us again if you haven't noticed we're in Lexus story which that

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means that rev from the crit show is back he him i am here playing margaret broad cloak

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the human monster hunter she her rev it's a delight to have you back i'm so excited thank

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you so much yeah welcome back welcome back excited i was looking at it like when did

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we last play this game because like it was pretty fresh in my mind because it was a memorable game

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it's a long time ago almost one year ago i know i just looked at my notes and it was like oh

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this is like 11 months ago this happened oh back in the olden days when there used to be other

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people in the world not just floating heads on screens it was like i think we recorded

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probably like that week like two days later the whole world shut down it's wild before

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exactly that's that's why it's so fond in our in our mind but there's been a lot that's happening

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over this year and you have another project or an expanded project with the crit show that you

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have kind of going on that we would love to share with our audience here rep yeah yeah we

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have just started a weekly twitch series monday nights at eight p.m eastern for about

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two and a half hours we have brought on six different game masters and over the course of

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the next year they are all going to run a eight session story in the game of their choosing the

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game that they had pitched in their audition so by the time this comes out we will have announced

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it so we are playing ghostbusters international we're playing a star wars game we're playing

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masks new generation we're playing all kinds of of independent and powered by the apocalypse

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games that sounds very cool we'll link all of the twitch and all of the crit shows information

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down in the description go check it all out and hang in hang out in some of those streams

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because that sounds like a blast yeah i'm excited where you can get in on some live

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streams with just just us being goons and goofballs is over on Patreon Patreon.com slash

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dumb dragon cast where when you join us you get an episode dedicated to you as well like

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today's patron bald mouse is this like a take on dead mouse what's happening here yeah i really

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like an industrial accident or oh okay yeah maybe yeah uh b a a l d m a u s s so bald

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sounds like bald i like it when it is non-english just normal names because

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russ is like going so strong going so strong here goes he's doing it his face is great

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he steers into the skit it's delightful it's good he goes he powers right into it and i

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i admire it so Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast we'd love to have you over there

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and now fuck it let's play

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it's been about a month since we last met up with Lex perseus margaret and arvid

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in their last adventure tracking down nickle real Lex's creator to find out why Lex was created

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your journey sent you to the town of glickfast where you met an old acquaintance

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in marvam dundalfoot a courier of nickel reels who led you to nickle reels workshop

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there you found mixed emotions in nickle real having had experimented on these deceased or

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undead entities trying to bring them back to life Lex it appeared that you were the only one

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who nickle real had managed to bring to life and give a full life back to

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while there you had come across an illusory scene left almost as an implanted memory in

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this space of nickle real's workshop having been attacked by a sinister looking dark elf

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and a battalion of what could only be described as his soldiers within this space you came across

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a letter that nickle real had written and addressed to lee this letter had been badly

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damaged and burned but you could make out one nearly full name and other part names the letter

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read to lee thelonious primes a series of hash marks

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the beginning of another name j y s e another name m o r d e and a final

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name before the page was torn off v a r having collectively decided in that moment

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that the new goal was to find this thelonious primes and or the dark elf depicted in the

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illusory memory the four of you set off in search of anything or anyone you could find to

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help track this person down your journey for the last month has led you across the

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sword coast following lead after lead trying to track down this mystery man who seemingly

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has left no trail except half stories and misremembered events marvam believed he heard

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the name from a black market dealer in glickfest that name was vafreet graystone

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a smooth young dwarf dealing in organs and illicit drugs in the underbelly of the city

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of glickfest marvam leads you there through the city and knocks on the door there's a grinding

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metal slider that opens up and like a deep red light coming from within

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marvam gives the password quietly at the door and it swings open and he leads you in and there's

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rows and rows of these poorly dressed younger dwarves and humans packaging up different items

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they lead you back through this dingy and musky filled room to an office at the back

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door opens and marvam steps in vafreet hey friend i brought some people here

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they're looking for a person maybe uh maybe you might have heard i thought you mentioned the

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name uh it you know maybe uh maybe one of you you threes take it and uh i just i just

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here to just make sure that you you know they're on the up and up and nobody's trying to just

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swindle anybody here okay vafreet straightens himself up at his desk he's a very broad built

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dwarf older he has long like gnarled hair black hair speckled with gray throughout it's got

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scar that cuts right across his face over his mouth well who are you and what's name you're

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looking for my name is Lex and we're looking for several people we just have scraps to go on but

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the most complete name is thelonious prims

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does that seem familiar to you well maybe it does what's uh what's in it for me to remember

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a name well we can offer some compensation we can offer services

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depends on the value of the name and the kind of information you have

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thelonious you say that's that's the name yes yeah it might might spark a spark a ring or two

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of where i might have heard that name could give you a location of a possible lead is that what

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they say in the hunting down people business i look at margaret that's her business she'd

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know the terminology uh lead i suppose is what you could call it perfect wow it's been a

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while since i heard the name but uh might give you a place to start you seem like fine

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fine uh find interesting people well we we are we have business with with this person

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okay well i got uh let's let's put it this i've got to get some of my goods

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transferred to actually to the location actually yeah you're funny little man

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uh i've got some goods that need to go down to a city that could be in the proximity of

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this lead that i have well it seems like pretty good luck for us

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does doesn't it yes what amazing coincidence also what's the last name because i don't think

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it's just prims but like do you know the rest of it or do i have to guess it i don't know

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prims wheel full prims sky prims blossom tell me if i'm getting close look i've heard the first

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name felonious is uh i mean it's not a super common name so it's not it popped up a couple

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times a year or so prims buckle arva just puts his hand on uh perseus's shoulder give it give

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it a moment i just thought i thought it would be fun to guess you're doing a great job

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okay thanks arvid so question out of game when you were describing what we saw when we walked

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in in my mind what i saw is like in every movie where you go into where they're putting

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drugs together and everyone is just in their underwear is that what it was like uh so

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basically yeah like it's all drugs um and there are sealed containers um with unknown things um

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but like they look like they look like coolers neat if you know a cooler in a medieval fantasy

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world picture picture that uh that's what they look like great like a very tiny ice

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elemental just hugging something yes just blood running down his chest

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i went from cute to disturbing very quickly took a real turn i had a life once

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well how what's the volume of these goods you need do we need a wagon it's something

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we can carry can you give us some logistical answers of where we might be going and what

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we might be taking he flips a couple pages open uh in a ledger on his desk it's just oh

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it's oh it's nothing the satchel you carry in there it could easily fit inside of that

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yeah

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high value though well and i look at my friends i'm on board i want to find this person

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that destroyed nick areal so

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you guys in well you don't even have to ask of course Lex yes is um

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looking around the room at all of the people like packing up boxes and stuff

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you know you said that they were dressed very shabbily what kind of condition are they in like

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physically like their their health there many of them appear malnourished tired would be

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a good descriptor it's it's quite warm in the there's a good heat coming throughout

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coming throughout throughout this room um some of them do appear to be showing signs of

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dehydration yes i suppose anything to ease our journey and give some respite to the folks

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working here if there's a couple other items you've got to take if it means that

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well everyone here gets to have a little bit of a rest or maybe you don't have to

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and quite as many runners yeah everybody's treated very well here

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not many complaints no yes yeah isn't that right you just hear yeah

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i'm not feeling great about this maybe they could be singing like some sort of you know

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sea shanty or workman song in the background to increase productivity

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yes i've been working on the railroad slinging body parts see it all comes together

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selling hearts and livers i'll be home before it's dark i start it's dark ah good one yeah

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but free maybe you could give us a moment just to confirm amongst ourselves

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sure new tasks want to consult with the group you understand of course take take your time

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do you need the room i just i gotta go do the rounds anyways you know you just take the room

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i'll be right back oh that's that's very polite of you thank you yeah he gets up and

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he walks by and pushes by and says yeah i'll just be back in a couple minutes don't you

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worry closes the door

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so i'd like to know where this Thelonious character is but this whole place is not

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this is not great we can agree on that yes well very much so yeah i don't feel wonderful

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about just walking away from what is clearly seems like a bad situation do you think we

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should try to help i mean if we go to dark ends to find an answer to the things you're trying

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to solve we may not like what we become in the end yes we don't want to become the

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terrible monsters we're chasing right we want to retain our humanity for lack of a better word

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yes exactly yeah we'd hate to be a real prims bottom

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so close so so close i'll keep i'll keep workshopping it yeah prims prims

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could be prims i don't even know where to go with this yes that's probably what it is

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he's probably a steen or a stein it's nice they didn't have to change it at ellis island

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yeah fantasy ellis island

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uh well what are we saying are we saying burn this motherfucker to the ground Lex arvid's

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so forceful just exactly what i would expect from you and i like it um if we were going

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to burn this mother down i'd want to get all of those whore wretches out there out first

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mm-hmm yes and if possible the information uh from our friend perhaps he comes back

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in we give him a few knocks get what we need out of him and um as you said burn this mother down

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um did he have um there was like a security person that brought us in to see him or

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what's house other than these poor starving sad working people it what's what do defenses look

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like as you entered there were two guards at the door um both heavier set um armed dwarven

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males um one of them led you back uh to uh vafreet's room you didn't see many others

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no you wouldn't have seen any others walking back through the main room there

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so as far as you've seen two armed guards plus uh the main boss guy

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well we could always just say sure give us the information give us the package

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and we'll head out and then turn on him rather than trying to beat it out of him

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so hard to rely on information you get from torture oh yeah we could we could give him like

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an ultimatum after after he gives us the information like shut it down or we burn it down

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and we'll find primstone ourselves yes that's true sometimes people will say whatever they need

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to when they're under duress it's true all right well that's as much of a plan as we

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ever have so the door swings open well done the rounds does it give you enough time sorry

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i didn't mean to start it there no no it's your office of course come and come and go as you

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please i think we've decided that we'd like the information about Thelonious and we're willing

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to carry your valuable package for you seems pretty straightforward you came to the

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conclusion that the information was worth the worth the journey i think so in a rural

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deception sure i'm probably bad at that let's see

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that was 14 okay well it seems like a pretty straight trait then great and where's this

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package you need us to take and where are we going goes over back over to his desk and again

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flips to a different page in his ledger and well Thelonious okay Thelonious i heard it a few

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times through some different market channels of folks looking for bits and bobs you know that's

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what we call it in the business last i heard the hand of Yartar was doing business with them

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easy place to go missing did anyone else think when he mentioned a hand that it belonged to

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a person i assumed is that the name of a place oh yes sorry the hand of Yartar is an organization

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of a fractious thieves guild made up entirely of women in the city of Yartar so where you can

185
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generally find them and where i need you to deliver certain goods is to their their home base

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the tavern called wink and a kiss in Yartar in Yartar all right does this seem on the level

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what he's saying uh you can roll an insight okay or i guess yeah insight or history depending

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on what kind of if you're you're trying to just get his feel or like actual world information

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uh insight would be a 19 you feel like he's being um completely honest

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um as honest as as he he can be um if you do want to roll if anybody does want to roll

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history you can see if you've heard of um this thieves guild or of the the tavern i would say

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that uh margaret for sure maybe not lax but arvid definitely like me and ursius have

193
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yeah very limited knowledge of the world it was a rat for a while

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margaret and arvid would definitely have knowledge of the city of yartar

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so the city itself exists um if you want further information on uh the guild and its

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makeup and if it if it does exist then you can roll a history but um as far as you are concerned

197
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it does appear that he's being uh straightforward and and as honest as he feels he needs to be

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uh with this transaction okay uh history would be an 18 so you know that the hand of yartar

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is in fact a thieves guild um one that um didn't it hasn't reached

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much a large amount of notoriety throughout the land there's a lot there was a lot of

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infighting throughout the beginning so it's taken them a long time to kind of

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get things working but they do operate out of yartar and have been known uh in some

203
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circles to deal in similar similar illicit goods uh yeah i will just kind of give a

204
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little glance to Lex and give a short nod all right then we will be off to yartar as soon

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as you give us what it is we need to take of course of course hey bring it in

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and one of the guards followed by another man who you didn't recognize the first time

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you came in he's a large built human man um he's carrying a few packages i guess is probably a

208
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better word um of materials and one of the uh ice elementals this is it uh just a couple

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packages uh it's got to go to uh uzumaki current leader of the hand of yartar

210
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they're expecting it she'll know you're coming you just tell her that vafreet sent you

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and you've got the goods she also should have some information on your thelonious

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great thank you and i go to take the packages they freely give them to you

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i don't feel prepared for what is about to happen but that's okay i feel like Lex um

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feels a lot a lot of empathy a lot of feeling not a lot of thinking yeah yeah more more heart

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driven than head driven so he's going to take the packages and uh put them in his bag

216
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and then he's going to draw his greatsword hey what's going on here what is going on here

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what are you doing to those poor people out there running a business here friend

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i'd be careful with swinging that around i don't know that i will be those people don't seem

219
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to want to be here to be well treated by you at all everything okay out there

220
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there uh see it's all good yeah that wasn't the overwhelming happy workforce

221
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i'd like to see in a manufacturing facility that just sounded like you throwing your voice out

222
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the door well i did want to be a ventriloquist in a past life so what's the plan here you're

223
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going to swing your sword around knock us out maybe take us out you know there's somebody

224
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else in line well just fill the void in behind it maybe but you're standing right in front of me

225
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and i don't like you very much

226
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i'm gonna swing it up okay here we go y'all yeah swing and then we'll roll initiative okay uh

227
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26 she's just fine seems like that'll do it okay he was called beefy boy recall he's a he's

228
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a large creature he was known as beefy boy for a while okay yeah swing away it's 14 damage

229
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you swing out and immediately as it cuts into him where do you where do you aim for here um i

230
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feel like maybe i was inspired by all this hand talk and i'm trying to chop off one of his

231
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hands sure yeah let's say okay the fritz got his hands like on his desk so with a 26 and 14 damage

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pick your hand

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what hand was he using to like hand us things with her gesture with

234
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can i roll insight to see which hand dominant he is i i'll give it to you it was he was

235
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more gestured uh with his right great than i he doesn't really maybe think i'm so serious but i'm

236
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i'm mad so i just just swing that big old sword right through his wrist sever his hand

237
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it swings through like glides through like butter and he doesn't move because he's trying

238
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to call your bluff at this point and then he looks down and like his arm drops to the table

239
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and he lets out like this guttural scream get them and i'll need you to roll initiative that

240
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seems fair i mean i feel like it's well earned 19 11 i was really worried i'd roll really low

241
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and have started this fight and be like see you guys later arvid got a 12 what's margaret got

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18 okay Lex uh you're up first so you've got two guards behind you you just hear them

243
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begin to rush towards you you don't necessarily you didn't notice any visible like longswords

244
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or anything like that but they're rushing towards you um the fritz in front of you

245
00:29:13,519 --> 00:29:19,359
bloody stump pouring down over his desk and floor at this point yeah i feel like i have

246
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at least momentarily distracted the fritz so i'm gonna spin around and uh attack one of

247
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the guards with my sword i don't do a great job it's a 13 13 does not hit do i oh god who cares

248
00:29:34,319 --> 00:29:42,799
i have like a thousand attacks i forgot there's three attacks at this guy uh 15 these are bad

249
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rolls you guys uh 15 does not hit 16 third time's the charm 16 does hit okay we found it

250
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:59,600
jeez process of elimination that's good that's almost max damage that is 11 plus four is 15

251
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:04,400
damage okay you got two guys coming at you one on your left one on your right which one do you

252
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:10,400
go for probably the one on the right okay uh so yeah you turn and swing back and cut into

253
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him and he lets out a yell and falls to the ground bleeding heavily margaret um the second

254
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guard is still rushing towards Lex at this point uh you hear commotion out in uh out in

255
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the main area you see a lot of the just like the workers for lack of a better term kind of

256
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:36,320
look towards the door um and you see one more guard rushing from uh the front where you came

257
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in uh i'm going to uh draw my shield and step in front of Lex uh at you know in between her

258
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and the other charging guard i'm gonna look at them and say your boss is right when this is all

259
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:57,759
over someone will have to take over if it's someone who does it the way we like it

260
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i'd very carefully consider your next action it could be you okay uh are you looking to

261
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:09,279
persuade or intimidate what do you i think it's persuade because i think he's right like

262
00:31:09,279 --> 00:31:12,799
someone will fill this in but if they were doing it in a way that didn't piss us off

263
00:31:12,799 --> 00:31:19,279
so much at least that would be something all right roll persuasion natural 20

264
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:27,759
even they realize margaret is such a fucking badass they're so convinced this hulking tree

265
00:31:27,759 --> 00:31:35,119
trunk of a man stops before this little old lady who's giving him a stern talking to and he

266
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just he stops and he's like in serious contemplation at this point like he's no

267
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:45,039
longer moving aggressively but he's you can see like the slow gears kind of kick into place

268
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as he is stopped there i'll even just say why don't you step aside and think about it for a

269
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moment and let us deal with this oh yeah he takes a few steps over to a chair in the corner

270
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and he's he's thinking about it for free it's like what the what are you doing hit her she's

271
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little he's getting a promotion it's for freet's turn and he reaches below his desk

272
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and pulls out a crossbow and points it at you Lex seems fair did he reach with his stump hand

273
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:23,200
he reaches with his stump hand once and he's like oh man got me again uh and then reaches

274
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with his good hand so he's gonna roll with disadvantage for being non-dominant here

275
00:32:28,079 --> 00:32:38,480
um which is oh nat 20 and a five so five plus four is nine that probably doesn't hit no that

276
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:47,119
won't hit a bolt goes wide over your head and into the wall behind you um you hear the guard

277
00:32:47,119 --> 00:32:54,559
that's running up he's yelling out to someone um you don't know who out there uh it's arvid's

278
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turn well should i do should i do something dangerous yes please or help the people out

279
00:33:04,399 --> 00:33:14,159
there up to you oh okay uh he goes and he steps uh to the door towards the guard that's running

280
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:23,440
towards him and he's going to cast that's dangerous yeah let's do that he's going to cast

281
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:31,519
a spell called negative energy flood oh boy that sounds fun you send ribbons of negative

282
00:33:31,519 --> 00:33:36,400
energy at one creature you can see within range of 60 feet unless the target is undead

283
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:42,320
it must make a con saving throw which it rolls a two he rolls a two so he does not

284
00:33:42,319 --> 00:33:46,720
make that uh or he takes 5d 12 necrotic damage

285
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this is arvid like weaponizing that general creepy feeling that he gives everyone

286
00:33:55,759 --> 00:34:01,519
except for except for this crew that seems seems on board with him but so that is

287
00:34:03,039 --> 00:34:11,039
uh 25 damage which does kill the guard uh a target killed by this damage rises up as a

288
00:34:11,039 --> 00:34:17,519
zombie at the start of your next turn the zombie pursues whatever creature it can that is closest

289
00:34:17,519 --> 00:34:29,360
to it oops oh no i did it i did you see look and you just see like this these tendrils of

290
00:34:30,079 --> 00:34:35,360
of like black energy like sapping the life out of this guard who falls to the ground

291
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:41,039
just like i did something cool that was pretty cool maybe you'll have to show me that one later

292
00:34:41,039 --> 00:34:48,079
arvid yeah this is going to be one to keep i think perseus it's your turn i am going to

293
00:34:48,079 --> 00:34:55,920
throw a bunch of eldritch blasts towards uh the freight okay i've got four of them so i'm

294
00:34:55,920 --> 00:35:02,720
going to make uh ranged attack spells please do all right first one's a 25 yep second one's

295
00:35:02,720 --> 00:35:12,640
a nat 20 okay third one's a 24 uh-huh and another 24 for the fourth one okay well all of those hit

296
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,120
perfect okay here we go

297
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:23,520
it's lots of d10s i should have grabbed more d10s which is not something i usually have to

298
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:29,680
say no i also feel like there's been a lot of nat 20s rolled so far like not all of them

299
00:35:29,679 --> 00:35:38,559
able to be used but still 24 force damage blast into him and he gets knocked back and into like

300
00:35:38,559 --> 00:35:44,239
this bookshelf that just crumbles and he like just slumped down on the ground groaning

301
00:35:45,279 --> 00:35:52,399
but he's not dead yet Lex it's your turn um okay so can you clarify where everyone's at

302
00:35:52,399 --> 00:35:56,719
one's turned into a zombie that hadn't made it into the room yet uh yeah we don't know

303
00:35:56,720 --> 00:36:01,360
that they've turned into a zombie yet but that will happen on arvids next turn okay perfect

304
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:05,680
the freak got blasted backwards from his desk so he's in the room still in front of you

305
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:10,240
one of the guards margaret gave a stern talking to and is sitting in a chair just

306
00:36:10,240 --> 00:36:16,960
thinking thinking hard one guy's behind you the guy who got uh arvidized it called to

307
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:23,440
someone who hasn't shown up yet okay i think i'm going to just attack the freight again

308
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:34,639
okay that's a 13 that's a 20 that's a 22 the 20 and 22 hit great is 25 damage tell me how you

309
00:36:34,639 --> 00:36:41,039
kill the freight you think as like a parts person myself i just chop his head off i don't

310
00:36:41,039 --> 00:36:46,240
know i feel like i'm i'm okay with just taking body parts apart yeah i was gonna say he already

311
00:36:46,240 --> 00:36:52,079
took the hand just just just chop his head off and turn and look at the guy that's sitting and

312
00:36:52,079 --> 00:37:01,920
thinking and say all we want is good conditions for your workers uh huh something to consider

313
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:09,840
death for you or breaks and fair compensation something to think about

314
00:37:11,119 --> 00:37:17,599
as you say that a another human male comes like running around the corner he's in

315
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:23,920
armor like head to toe and he's got a great sword and a mace and he's swinging the mace

316
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:32,000
and he looks at the scene and he pauses looking at like the massacre before him and the guy in

317
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:38,960
the chair looks at him it's just gives him the just maybe maybe not today sign just across his

318
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:46,400
neck he stops swinging it and kind of puts it down says uh everything okay in here

319
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,280
i think maybe you're under new management

320
00:37:52,159 --> 00:37:55,360
okay star wipe

321
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:03,519
cut to a new scene knowing that everyone is happy well compensated and can go pee

322
00:38:03,519 --> 00:38:08,159
as much as they want during their shift much as they want no more puddles it's all good

323
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:19,280
whoo okay um so taking uh vafreet's information oh yeah there was a zombie there what'd you do

324
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:24,559
with the zombie i was gonna ask have we have we seen this before is this the first time

325
00:38:25,679 --> 00:38:30,880
that that arvid has done this good question there wasn't a lot of battle collectively

326
00:38:32,079 --> 00:38:34,800
i think it would have been the first time that you would have seen that so

327
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:41,600
let's cut back the guards like yeah okay cool yeah uh lots of pee breaks good and then you

328
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:48,160
hear like this groaning of the zombie standing up and he begins moving towards that armored

329
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:53,519
guard i think i just draw my uh mace of disruption and stay walk around behind the

330
00:38:53,519 --> 00:38:58,480
guard and hit it as it approaches yeah it's it's not hard to hit and doesn't have a

331
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:06,400
lot of hit points it uh you connect and it like explodes out into the room and falls to the ground

332
00:39:07,199 --> 00:39:11,360
just remember we'll check back in here to make sure things are going well and

333
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:18,159
that could be you okay is it primsby

334
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:27,519
hey it's the middle it's the middle it's the lightest middle

335
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:33,920
it's just it's the happiest sunshiniest rainbowiest middle nothing bad happens in the middle so

336
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:39,039
pleasant here it's like a nice warm bath it's the inside of a twinkie you guys it's fluffy

337
00:39:39,039 --> 00:39:42,800
it's sweet one of those fleece blankets that you just like wrap around yourself but then

338
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:48,159
aren't you the middle it's nice yeah you're in the delicious middle yeah you're in the middle

339
00:39:48,159 --> 00:39:53,360
hey everybody glad to have you here listening to this episode with us we had a couple weeks

340
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:58,559
off hopefully you enjoyed that q a that we dropped for you we answered all of your questions if you

341
00:39:58,559 --> 00:40:02,960
ever have questions just send them to us um but what we want to tell you about is this great

342
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:07,680
goal we've got going on in this cool spot called Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast

343
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:14,320
where when we hit 85 patrons we're going to hang out in one of those those video chat things

344
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:20,000
where you can come and hang out too and give us suggestions and guide us through an adventure

345
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:29,840
in an unscripted fashion much like how we record all of our adventures yeah but with your input not

346
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:36,079
ours yeah so i'm like hold on hold on hold on russ just made it sound like we script any of this

347
00:40:36,079 --> 00:40:40,480
we don't that we do we do not see no no an important yes an important clarification this

348
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:45,440
is all just yeah it's all just flying off the top of the dome and what we're saying is

349
00:40:45,519 --> 00:40:52,559
please give us better domes to come up with ideas let us use your dome our dome yeah that's

350
00:40:52,559 --> 00:40:59,200
yeah we're gonna call it thunder dome it's the thunder dome goal i like it i like it i like

351
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:03,039
it a lot we're a little ways away from our next goal which is 85 patrons where we're going to

352
00:41:03,039 --> 00:41:07,679
play this super awesome uh improv game with our patrons and we can't wait for you to be there

353
00:41:07,679 --> 00:41:11,280
so come join us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast and we'll see you over there

354
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:18,480
okay thank you have a great day and now okay brace yourself we're about to exit the middle

355
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:22,160
oh no it's okay it's okay it's not as bad as you think

356
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:35,360
exactly so taking the information for you got from the freak you make your way down

357
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:41,599
hopping caravans until you reach a guide to take you up the river desarin all in

358
00:41:41,599 --> 00:41:47,760
totaling a solid 10 day to navigate the trails and rapids before the river splits

359
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:54,240
off heading toward yarta you dock in the city's small port and make your way through the

360
00:41:54,240 --> 00:42:02,559
bustling city until you find the tavern wink and a kiss you head inside and make your way

361
00:42:02,559 --> 00:42:09,679
to the bartender who is a young human woman she has long curly brown hair brown eyes and her skin

362
00:42:09,679 --> 00:42:16,159
is a deep brown tan beneath her sleeves you see line art tattoos creeping up from her arms and

363
00:42:16,159 --> 00:42:22,079
out under her long sleeves and she sees you approach and calls to says ah you new around

364
00:42:22,079 --> 00:42:27,840
here what can i get you uh what kind of locally sourced cheese do you have uh we're

365
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:35,760
not a big uh cheesery uh we just got just got your regular old orange no okay

366
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:44,000
would you like really what i was hoping for well i'm sorry uh i can go check in the back if

367
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:53,120
that's something you want um i'll i'm okay for now okay um i'll i'll have an ale and also

368
00:42:53,199 --> 00:43:01,920
we're we're looking for uzumaki we have something for her uh you have something for uh

369
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:07,679
uzumaki she goes to pour your ale and anybody else who signals that they want one and brings

370
00:43:07,679 --> 00:43:14,559
them over and uh since uh how what do you what do you have for uh for miss uzu uh something

371
00:43:14,639 --> 00:43:23,920
from the freight interesting okay um well here's your drinks uh anything else i can get you i'll

372
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:31,039
go let her know you're here and uh and and and see see what we can do for you thank you are

373
00:43:31,039 --> 00:43:39,599
you all right am i all right yes yes um yes yes i am i am fine normally people don't say

374
00:43:39,599 --> 00:43:46,719
that with a question mark at the end sorry i am fine i want to just glance around to see

375
00:43:47,519 --> 00:43:53,759
like if if anyone is watching this interaction what's your passive perception my passive

376
00:43:53,759 --> 00:44:00,799
perception is 22 oh yeah it's reasonably busy um it's kind of mid-day so you're a bit

377
00:44:00,799 --> 00:44:06,880
between lunch and dinner crowds um she's not looking to anyone in particular um there are

378
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:12,880
a few people who look over to you as you noticed as you entered but nothing more than uh hearing

379
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:17,200
the door open and seeing somebody enter and then giving you a once you know look up and

380
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:21,760
down just because you're you're new in town or new to this uh you know they haven't been

381
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:29,200
seen here before as far as the room goes like it's a it's a darker lit uh tavern there

382
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:35,039
are finely woven tapestries a couple paintings of of the harbor and of the city

383
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:43,920
nothing really to give away any sort of person or place just just landscapes and and and that

384
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:48,800
sort of thing um you hear noise coming from the kitchen in the back there's only one

385
00:44:50,079 --> 00:44:54,960
other doorway or passageway looks like a hallway kind of on the other side of the room

386
00:44:54,960 --> 00:45:00,000
from where the bar is uh yeah just kind of getting a sense that there's just a general

387
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:05,840
unease about her yep uh i'll just i'll just pat her hand perhaps get yourself a drink as well

388
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:12,800
take the edge off thank you thank you yeah i might have one uh she she hands you eat your

389
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:18,000
drinks and uh says i'll try and find your cheese there too oh that'd be that'd be so

390
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:24,559
great and she heads off and back down uh the the one hallway uh leaving you four there

391
00:45:24,559 --> 00:45:28,639
for a brief moment before she returns if there's anything you would like to discuss

392
00:45:28,719 --> 00:45:35,679
separately uh i think i would just look at everyone and say you know unlike where we were

393
00:45:36,319 --> 00:45:44,480
a few days ago we're going to see if we do if we aren't able to get a meeting with the hand

394
00:45:45,599 --> 00:45:49,519
many other things we may not like but it won't be the same situation where we

395
00:45:49,519 --> 00:45:56,000
four can power our way through it so very carefully pick your battles yeah i'm thinking

396
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:59,440
it's entirely possible that we just have a bunch of people come out with weapons

397
00:46:00,639 --> 00:46:06,719
this is why i need you here my friends i just it just seems obvious i'm looking for a person

398
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:12,960
i ask for the person but you're right i'm hoping i'm hoping the hand is more of a

399
00:46:13,679 --> 00:46:20,800
a collective not terrible conditions people doing what they want freely not like not like where

400
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:31,600
we were with with vatir but maybe i'll sit back a little and see i'm not the best to

401
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:36,960
lead negotiations oh you're just fine to lead negotiations you did a great job and i got to

402
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:43,680
do something cool and new that was very cool yes very disturbing too yeah had you done that

403
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:49,920
before did you know that there was gonna be like a zombie dude afterwards didn't no i've

404
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:58,880
tried it once before long time ago um we didn't hang around for very long afterwards

405
00:46:59,599 --> 00:47:08,240
so maybe that happened oh so there could just be some zombie running around well i mean that is

406
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:19,599
that is par for the oh god you don't think that one started maybe from now on

407
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:28,480
we'll make sure that they're they're down for good before just moving on yeah puts his head

408
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:38,480
down sits down it's like i don't i don't think it was that one okay uh you see the woman come

409
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:46,079
back over and she has in her hand um a small like cloth wrapped parcel and she puts it down

410
00:47:46,079 --> 00:47:52,639
in front of you perseus and you immediately smell it is a very fine strong cheese oh boy

411
00:47:52,639 --> 00:47:55,599
here we go perseus is time to shine

412
00:48:01,039 --> 00:48:07,679
and i am ignoring whatever else is happening at this table now uh uh miss miss uzu uh

413
00:48:07,679 --> 00:48:14,960
it was umaki uh she's uh was expecting a delivery from vafrit and uh would see you i

414
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:20,720
will take you back as soon as you're ready no rush have your drinks have your cheese uh if

415
00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:26,240
there's anything else i can get you and then uh we can be on with business um i think we

416
00:48:26,240 --> 00:48:31,280
probably just wait while perseus eats his cheese he seemed pretty focused we probably

417
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:36,639
weren't going to go anywhere while that happened okay um while we're sitting there

418
00:48:36,639 --> 00:48:40,720
does it seem like anyone is taking any notice of us any more than seems

419
00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:49,280
unusual we are an unusual looking group you are a motley crew um no uh yeah i would say no more

420
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:55,040
than what you're used to walking into similar establishments uh just based on the makeup of

421
00:48:55,040 --> 00:49:04,240
your group an old lady a tall creepy dude a piece together puzzle man and uh and a rattling

422
00:49:04,240 --> 00:49:16,640
we're this world's kiss exactly um but yeah no more than than you would otherwise uh find in a

423
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:23,040
in a neutral territory great so you finish your cheese and she leads you down uh back

424
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:29,760
down this hallway uh and it which turns into a series of hallways and it's several minutes

425
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:36,240
walking down before you realize that even if you had been paying attention to the direction

426
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:43,120
quickly there's no way you can remember which direction you had come i suddenly have this

427
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:47,520
thought in my head that i have a special ability that makes it so i always know where north is

428
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:51,280
and i don't know why i think that okay i mean it seems like something that margaret would

429
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:56,400
have yeah this is what happens when i only play dnd three times a year and it's with

430
00:49:56,400 --> 00:50:00,160
all of you yeah uh yeah keen mind do you always know which way is north

431
00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:06,960
and the number of hours left before the sun sets or rises all right well you are

432
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:14,559
um i can't trick you with my with my hallway puzzle um but everybody else like you get this

433
00:50:14,559 --> 00:50:19,840
like you know you're tracking like lefts and rights as you go but all the hallways and doors

434
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:26,400
look identical um you see in past several paintings that you swear look like copies

435
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:31,120
of ones you had passed previously this set of hallways that she's walking you through

436
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:36,079
give you the very distinct feeling that it's been designed this way so that people

437
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:42,480
once they're in need to be led out otherwise they are stuck there margaret because of your

438
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:47,440
ability to always you know your divining rod that you carry in your pocket always know

439
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:51,360
which way is north so you you have a better understanding i'd say you'd have

440
00:50:52,800 --> 00:51:00,159
to get back out you would not be at disadvantage um to to retrace your steps there for sure

441
00:51:00,159 --> 00:51:08,320
okay so after several confusing minutes um the bartender opens a door and ushers you in

442
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:14,559
to a warm office space where you see a female elf seated at a modest desk

443
00:51:14,559 --> 00:51:20,799
surrounded by tomes and scrolls there's a fire burning in a stove in the corner of the room

444
00:51:20,799 --> 00:51:26,880
that fills it with this hickory and orange smell i have to say it's a little ironic that

445
00:51:27,759 --> 00:51:32,880
normally in you know my previous form i would get the cheese after going through the maze

446
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:40,880
but this time i had it before the woman looks up and smiles and says uh you are a different

447
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:50,079
delivery group than previous please come in have a seat thank you yes thank you there there has

448
00:51:50,079 --> 00:51:56,160
been some management changes at the fritz so things may be different in your dealings with

449
00:51:56,160 --> 00:52:03,360
them in the future i look forward to learning more about that uh my name is uzumaki uh you

450
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:09,280
look at her and she is in a a hooded cloak the hood is down um there are colorful spirals

451
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:17,760
all over her cloak um she has very long slender fingers she's very pale like porcelain skin

452
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:23,760
almost um and she has just this soft sweet smile as the bartender moves a few chairs

453
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:28,160
from the side of the room so the four of you can sit on the the one side of her desk

454
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:36,720
she says um you have a you have a delivery for me yes and and a request oh she's flipping

455
00:52:36,720 --> 00:52:44,320
open a ledger and uh just moving her finger down she's um well uh what is your request

456
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:54,960
and i'm sorry your names were i'm Lex oh hi i'm perseus here margaret uh yes uh arvid arvid

457
00:52:54,960 --> 00:53:02,000
is how you say that of innistrad of i wasn't going to brag but uh yes of innistrad

458
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:09,760
um it's a pleasure to meet you all um as i'm talking i am going to um put my bag down in

459
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:14,480
front of me and start pulling out those two packages or whatever it is he gave us

460
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:20,159
yes the two packages and the the ice elemental right of course cooler bag right

461
00:53:22,159 --> 00:53:27,840
um she she takes them from you and slides them across the desk and you see her kind of

462
00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:31,920
make a note in her book beside a couple different lines and she says yes this

463
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:39,200
this all checks out okay well what uh what is it i can help you with we're looking for someone

464
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:48,880
named felonious prims prims friend prims gown her smile disappears

465
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:59,920
you mean felonious prims bay oh that was way off

466
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:06,960
so

467
00:54:10,720 --> 00:54:17,840
Dumbgeons and Dragons season two episode 78 starring carla max dead as Lexington tom laird as

468
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:23,760
perseus and Russ More as your dungeon master with guest rev as margaret broadcloak find more

469
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:29,200
from rev at the crit show podcast.com editing production and sound design by Russ More

470
00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:34,400
this episode featured music from epidemic sound and sound effects from epidemic sound and boom

471
00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:39,920
library a huge thank you to our supporting producers gabriel lynch jessica Babyok mark

472
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:45,520
heartless stevie cat water flame jacob madden christian brown devin michaels aaron stevens

473
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:50,800
eric hulahan and ray serbeck to support Dumbgeons and Dragons and our many other

474
00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:55,680
productions and get access to an exclusive podcast bonus episodes and much more please

475
00:54:55,680 --> 00:55:01,520
join our Patreon at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast you can also follow us at facebook.com

476
00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:06,480
slash dumb dragon podcast and on twitter at dumb dragon cast thank you for listening

477
00:55:06,480 --> 00:55:13,280
have a great week we'll talk again soon well maybe it does what's uh what's in it for me

478
00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:23,760
to remember a name while we're stumped yeah we have we have nothing to offer this person

479
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:33,920
uh that's hilarious just a long pause and then uh we can be on with business

480
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:38,000
i can't remember if that was the voice i was using is a little higher not british

481
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:45,840
i'll recut that if it sounds weird i'm sure it's fine we're all here and we don't remember

482
00:55:45,840 --> 00:55:50,400
what it sounded like i think she's been swapped out yeah it's a doppelganger no

483
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:54,559
oh sorry margaret had an uneasy feeling that's right

484
00:55:55,200 --> 00:56:00,240
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production