[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[30.0s] here's a practice you stir and see this thing like zip over top of all of you i feel like maybe it
[37.4s] sends like ripples of force and that sort of like moves through the demon and then he crashes
[45.2s] to the ground every bone crunching like flesh ripping like falls to the ground and like
[51.3s] huddled mess and then you hear more movement from around and you begin to hear like the
[58.7s] groans of zombies i'm not stunned anymore and then you begin to see them from the light from
[65.3s] tolgears weapon the faces of them coming out of the trees looks like it's time to blow this
[71.9s] popsicle stand yes i say we we need to get out of here you'll quickly climb aboard the magic
[77.7s] carpet and zip off into the air as the scene around you is overwhelmed by maw demons and
[86.9s] zombies
[90.7s] welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons i'm your dungeon master russ more he him also with me today is
[95.7s] carla max dead she her that is me i play yen bolnuri a kalash tar cleric and amy more
[103.8s] also she her and i play thea amistasia a female high elf druid i don't know why i said female
[111.4s] i was reading off my sheet that's why
[115.4s] and last but not least tom layered he him and i am playing tolgear heavyfoot who is a
[121.7s] mountain dwarf pAlydin who also goes by he him how's everybody doing today i mean today it's a
[128.2s] today it's a podcast people listen during whenever they want at all times i would like to make
[132.7s] a confession off the top so you know how i do all of my spelling phonetically and it is
[137.9s] always perfect yeah well of course so tom has put tolgear in his name in our zoom call and i would
[145.6s] like to tell you that how i spelled tolgear was t-a-l-l-g-e-a-r tolgear tolgear tolgear
[153.8s] that's not dnd enough it obviously is t-u-l-g-i-r duh obviously yeah actually i think
[160.2s] he needs an h in there probably you're right i think i should actually just change it to
[164.2s] tolgear tolgear i mean it's phonetically it's it's almost the same yeah carla i'm just gonna
[171.2s] say you saying that has now helped me remember what tom's character name was because i'm not
[178.3s] gonna lie to you tomsman flint for so long it's hard to remember that just having
[183.1s] tolgear as because when we play another game tom's a dm yeah sure he doesn't even have a
[189.9s] side you're right that's a really good point tom doesn't even have a side we don't know he might
[194.9s] we don't know how you use that word maybe maybe tom has a confession this episode too oh my gosh
[201.1s] huge confession to make guys just when i thought i said all i could say my chick on the side
[207.2s] so what the listener doesn't know is russ has left the room and now all bets are off
[211.7s] i'm singing usher that's just gonna serenade us with usher because that's what happens when
[216.6s] russ leaves the room yeah if i'm gonna tell it then i gotta tell it all i damn near cried when
[224.3s] i got i'm okay guys i'm holding an invisible microphone in front of me her eyes are closed
[229.6s] she's so in it in front of my microphone that's actually in front of me amazing
[236.6s] russ you missed a lot of good stuff you missed so much good stuff great i'm looking
[240.8s] forward to hearing it in the playback you didn't hear down the hall our dog has some
[245.0s] health issues and we have to stop her from eating things so we have to go watch her but she doesn't
[251.4s] like to be watched and i know she's needed to poop for the last six hours but when you
[255.7s] go and watch her she runs back like you're coming to play and then she comes inside so
[260.3s] so russ had to stealthily just watch the dog take a shit wow what a weirdo
[268.6s] i didn't because she found me so oh so she still hasn't gone she still hasn't gone that
[273.8s] must be uncomfortable perfect yeah well we're gonna find out later i guess um did you do any
[279.2s] Patreon stuff like no i just sang usher the whole time oh okay so okay cool well when you're a
[285.7s] patron you get an episode dedicated to you i don't there's no lead into it you just get
[289.8s] an episode dedicated to you come join us on Patreon.com dumb dragon cast like today's patron
[294.6s] jonathan bell thanks jonathan that serenade was for you do you feel special you got the
[300.5s] usher episode oh the fabled usher episode and it like old usher too confessions yeah part two
[309.5s] that's assuming russ didn't have to edit this all out well he can't now we've talked about it
[313.8s] too many times well that's true i know that's that's the key remember that time i sang usher
[318.2s] right just like 30 seconds ago if you have too many callbacks referring to the thing you
[322.9s] can't remove it because then it's ingrained i think yeah there was yeah anyways uh thank
[329.0s] you jonathan yes thank you jonathan thank you jonathan yeah join us today at Patreon.com dumb
[335.1s] dragon cast uh tons of goals over there that we're trying to achieve including a Grancis
[339.8s] Flamikinskins episode dm'd uh by tom amy and carla that's right rotating DMs yeah it's
[346.6s] gonna be a blast everybody does it it's super easy that's right that's what that's what carla
[351.6s] keeps telling herself jazzing herself up for it this can be easy right it's a team effort
[356.2s] it's like tag team dm'ing you just whenever you whenever there's not an idea somebody else just
[360.6s] jumps in with an idea i like that no problem yeah it's just a big who's line it's fine fuck it
[365.4s] let's play your team Yenbul thea and tulgear hey tulgear is a Patreon created name thank
[374.6s] you christian brown for creating tulgear and for tom for playing him thanks christian most
[379.2s] creative patrons thanks christian yeah thanks everybody this is the thank you episode
[384.2s] because it's going to get real dark in just a second yeah um you've been traveling via magic
[390.5s] carpet uh for the last two days you spent a day to get to the point where we ended in the last
[395.7s] episode and then have basically just been in panicked transit to get to luskin you found if
[403.0s] you spent too long on the ground you were quickly found by passing demons or undead and
[408.2s] if you spent too much time in the air you were spotted by vrocks or spirits
[414.0s] or demons you couldn't put a name to thea definitely like creates names for them when
[422.1s] she sees them knowing they're not the real names but definitely is sharing with Yenbul and
[428.3s] tulgear the names that she is now dubbed them do it can you can you tell me some of like
[435.4s] describe to me what i would see yeah um there's one that has large hairy not feathery but hairy
[444.1s] wings that have like claws that stick out at the end not like not like pterodactyl wings
[450.1s] but like huge fingers that come out so it's like two big hands that kind of come together
[455.3s] and like beady red yellow eyes that you can see in the dark and you only see it at night
[460.7s] so you only see this figure this shadowy figure against like the purple light of the moon
[466.8s] and these eyes that just zip like just quickly move around you hairy hands mcbat go on next on
[474.2s] the ground you see they're they're tiny and they there's they they travel in like packs
[481.5s] they're about the size of a uh a large rat they have eight maybe legs you haven't really
[490.6s] gotten close enough or you smash them quick enough to to get a good count on them but they're
[497.0s] covered in scales and spikes and there's something dripping off of them spiny goobers next uh okay
[506.2s] we'll only do one more rule of threes this one is uh you you got caught up in it there was
[514.7s] one night you were you were you were trying you found like this alcove that seemed tucked
[519.8s] away your back was there was only one way in and out of it you thought it was safe but then
[526.6s] these what seemed like cobwebs were around the perimeter but as you'd look away from them they'd
[534.6s] move and be suspended from there was no real canopy or or cavern roof but they were just
[544.4s] suspended in the air so it's like these long stretchy sticky cobwebs that just spin through
[550.4s] the air towards you oh silly strength such a whimsical name i'm glad you've kept some of
[556.4s] your whimsy even though we're in the darkest timeline i'm trying real hard it's nice i i'm
[562.1s] fighting against it needless to say rest has been few and far between the level of panic
[569.5s] and exhaustion and fear that has set in among the three of you is high and some higher than
[577.6s] others so right now we're going to find out exactly how high all of this is we're going to
[584.3s] figure out you know how much damage you've taken from from various battles we're going
[589.2s] to figure out what your level of exhaustion is determining how much sleep you've had
[593.8s] and for those that cast spells which i think is all three of you how many spell slots you've
[598.6s] expended to this point so we're going to go one character at a time and roll a percentile die for
[606.5s] each of those sub sections or percentile dice wants to go first this is fun i can go first
[615.5s] but russ i'm going to need those subsets of information said to me again okay so you're
[620.6s] going to roll for we'll just go one by one here so you're going to roll for hp loss at
[625.0s] this point okay um what if i've already lost hp yeah then you lose more ah
[633.4s] that is a 42 tall gear through battle with a lot of these demons uh over the last three days
[639.9s] has taken an extra 25 damage that you have not regained to this point okay so you may
[647.4s] have regained some through small short rest or something but to this point you have not
[652.0s] regained any okay what's up next levels of exhaustion
[657.9s] 35 so you are going to find that you have two levels of exhaustion which means you have not
[664.9s] slept for at least 48 hours the level of exhaustion at two means you have disadvantage
[672.2s] on ability checks and your speed is halved okay uh next one spell slots expended how many
[679.7s] spell slots total do you have uh they go up to fifth level okay uh yeah it it'll still be
[686.0s] fine no matter where you roll on here so roll percentile dice please okay 14 you expend you
[693.7s] can choose where you expend them from but you have expended three spell slots that you have
[697.8s] not regained okay um and then there's one final one for hit dice used all right don't
[706.6s] this timeline i'm sorry everybody please still be my friend no uh that's 62 so you have expended
[714.2s] six hit dice guys i feel like we're playing like a real dnd game where there's actually
[719.8s] consequences and stuff this is not what i signed up i don't like this what kind of long con have
[725.9s] you been running on us for us so many years in and now we're gonna play this real dnd where
[730.6s] we like get psyching damage and get tired and people try and kill us terrible do i have
[735.6s] to use money and stuff correctly i don't track of my arrows and things that's in the lightest
[742.2s] timeline do i need to eat food yeah who's next carla sure so hp loss is first hp loss yes okay
[754.2s] that is 11 so you have lost a total of 15 hp oh good first roll carla yeah i don't know
[762.9s] what did you roll it still is 15 still seems pretty high i rolled a 42 i think which got 25
[769.8s] yeah yeah okay and then exhaustion it's all just percentile you said yeah you got it 72
[776.9s] one level of exhaustion uh which gives you disadvantage on ability checks that means you
[782.2s] haven't slept for uh 24 hours well because i got to be man in that carpet that's true
[788.1s] yep sense makes sense uh spell slots expended okay and you want to know like this one
[794.6s] maybe i use cantrips only exactly this feels i don't like you deciding what spells i've used
[801.4s] three days of battle right so with no you know indistinguishable rest so uh yeah uh
[809.7s] percentile for spell slots okay and you okay uh 32 uh so you've expended and not gained
[816.6s] back two spell slots you can choose from where and then one more for hit die
[823.4s] uh 82 uh you've lost eight hit dice whoa okay good times hey amy no
[834.9s] i don't want to but you got let me make sure i just have my okay yep
[841.0s] okay 20 20 for hp loss you lose 15 15 hit points it's not cool and i was already down 20
[849.0s] uh well i will tell you the max if you rolled between 76 and 99 it could be 75
[853.6s] jesus so all right next one for exhaustion yep 59 uh 59 uh you also gain one level of
[864.9s] exhaustion so disadvantage on ability 24 hours of not sleeping okay spell slots expended 48 you
[875.1s] have expended and not gained back two spell slots they're gonna be first level offie yeah
[882.2s] no what i did eight and nine what are you doing uh carla and then 28 uh 28 is gonna get
[891.0s] you you've lost four hit dice i don't know where to i have nothing i don't write
[897.1s] i don't know i have nothing i don't write those words you quickly meditate i mean it all
[901.7s] it all makes sense right sure sure sure there's your stats that's that's that's just that yeah
[908.3s] sad sad sad sad yeah that's that's it could have been worse yep you guys did yeah it sure
[915.1s] seems like it could have been could have been a lot worse yeah uh yeah yeah yeah we'll just leave
[922.1s] it there okay so on this third day um you uh are are traveling a little well i guess you tell me
[933.9s] on this third day you know that two of you haven't slept for 24 hours um telgir hasn't
[940.3s] like had a you know a decent rest in 48 hours you know you're getting close to luskin
[948.0s] well we've got it we've got to be getting close now how much further do you think it is
[953.3s] i i think you must be right we must be close should we perhaps we should land um until it
[960.9s] gets too dark and try to rest briefly or at least one of us can rest or
[970.2s] even just short amounts of sleep would be would be good guys i
[980.4s] i don't know how much longer we can keep going on like this telgir you haven't slept in like
[985.5s] what like two days at least it's all right well it's been a while
[992.2s] but we've got to what's the alternative we we can't just stop why don't we land here for now
[996.6s] we shouldn't be flying anyway at night why don't we hit the ground telgir grab a quick nap
[1007.0s] yen bull and i will keep watch and um and like 30 minutes and then let's keep moving
[1015.4s] catnaps short catnaps yes this seems like a good strategy
[1022.0s] and i bring the carpet down what is there a clearing or i mean just an area it's not exactly
[1031.0s] we don't we don't need i don't need a big launch uh site a long runway you're you're bringing the
[1038.2s] the the carpet down to where you think would be a safe place so tell me what you see when
[1042.6s] you're bringing it down um i think if it's still like generally kind of forested as it
[1047.8s] has been we just look for like a break in the canopy just so that we can can get down
[1053.7s] to the ground you come down through the the the thatched canopy of like spindled
[1060.5s] um dry dead wood um that's like you clip it with the carpet as it comes down and it snaps
[1069.7s] and crumbles to the ground and you you hear it hit down below and you look down and um
[1077.8s] it appears like a small clearing there's a bit of an alcove that's covered more by canopy
[1082.9s] and it allows you to kind of tuck away and set up not a full camp but enough so that one or
[1089.5s] two of you could take a brief rest i think perhaps just to watch one sleep it seems
[1099.8s] there are so many creatures i don't know that one person watches enough what do you think
[1106.7s] i feel the same way okay tall gear you you sleep we will protect and not draw
[1114.9s] penises on your face i didn't even like last time i think that would be a thing but
[1119.3s] yeah please please don't i mean it no definitely haven't no and he looks at yen
[1124.8s] balloons like tall gear uh crawls into his bed roll and i mean tall gear you tell me
[1133.5s] how you deal in this because i mean high stress are you able to even relax in this
[1139.9s] moment as a longtime soldier tall gear knows that when you have the opportunity to get rest
[1145.4s] you take it so he doesn't have too much trouble getting to sleep tall gears out fairly quickly
[1151.5s] leaving you the onion bowl alone as far as the clearing goes like it's you don't see
[1158.1s] anything in it it's quiet there is the purple light of the moon it's faint obviously it
[1168.0s] doesn't give off the same sort of light that the moon regularly would but it's it's cresting
[1173.5s] through this canopy and down to the other side almost illuminating the other side
[1179.8s] in this dark dark night that's setting in sounds you hear around you you hear the occasional
[1185.9s] branch snap a low almost droning wind like it's not a a wind that gives and takes and
[1196.5s] ebbs and flows it's like just this constant drone that just feels like it's moving through the
[1202.5s] trees i i wish i could have seen your land before we pass all these forests it must
[1210.2s] have been so beautiful it it was the trees were lush everything was green the water flowed clear
[1221.8s] the uh kind of touches one of the trees and part of the bark black and ashy crumbles into her hands and
[1234.2s] just not much of a crier but you see that little brimming of tears and
[1243.1s] we're gonna bring it back yes i i am i'm sorry you have to see it like this perhaps
[1249.6s] perhaps i was i was so sad to leave my my home but perhaps it is easier because i cannot compare
[1258.5s] this to anything else i did not know what it was like before and now it just must be extra
[1266.1s] hard for you in a way that it is not for me i'm sorry for that i don't think any part of
[1271.4s] this is easy for anybody but
[1275.2s] oh it's
[1279.2s] just it just sucks i keep stopping and trying to bring a little bit of it back but
[1290.2s] there's got to be more we can do as i try to bring just even the smallest pieces back i can
[1298.4s] feel that it's it's it's pulling at at the earth and it's it's going through so much already i
[1308.2s] feel like i'm almost doing more harm than good i think it has to be an all all at once or
[1318.6s] nothing yes that is it is just more bad news isn't it it is um
[1325.6s] i hoped that you would be able to draw power from somewhere where there was more life
[1335.4s] but it seems like that must be far away must be
[1340.7s] taking from an already dead land to create life is not it feels icky
[1347.0s] it feels icky
[1350.6s] Yenbul did you hear that was a wind or no no it was stepping it was snapping of branches or
[1357.6s] cracking Yenbul's gonna draw her weapon or i guess probably already has her weapon drawn but
[1363.8s] sort of gets ready since it has been sort of a non-stop onslaught of real shitty creatures
[1371.4s] coming out of nowhere you give it a moment and you too Yenbul begin to hear more than just like
[1379.1s] the branches like craning or cracking it sounds heavy but like there's like a almost
[1389.7s] like a pointed land to each of these sounds like it's not like a widespread thud it's like
[1395.7s] a precision um step and they they are soft and quick at first but then get louder as you hear
[1409.9s] um and see branches explode out in front of you illuminated by this purple light there's this
[1418.5s] this three legged like the pincer legs like long pointed legs one out in front and two kind of
[1427.8s] behind with this almost humanoid figure at the center of these legs and it has one kind of
[1440.2s] human arm and its jaw seems like it's been ripped off and its eyes are completely sunken in and it
[1449.4s] explodes out into the clearing and is charging towards the three of you zombie crab i kicked
[1456.2s] tall gear yeah unceremoniously what a shitty way to wake up yeah no tall gear is like on his
[1461.8s] feet in a flash he's ready for ready for anything you yelled out zombie crab yeah and
[1467.1s] it's going to charge towards you oh all right um and it's going to try and like stab you with
[1473.3s] one of these legs not well uh that's going to be at uh 10 now um and then it's going to
[1483.4s] you you feel like this rumble in the air around you uh no that's not a roll that's
[1490.1s] a that's a constitution saving throw i'm going to use because i rolled a three so i'm sure seven
[1499.8s] doesn't save i'm going to use my lucky point uh the rabbit's foot no that is no i have lucky
[1510.1s] points right you've got your feet yeah uh it's my feet yes uh because it was a bad saving
[1515.8s] yep uh oh yeah you have disadvantage on ability checks as well
[1526.2s] fuck everything are you sure i have disadvantage uh yeah you have one level of exhaustion neat
[1531.0s] okay well i rolled an 18 which would have made a 22 but since i didn't it's only an eight
[1537.2s] cool cool okay you are uh yeah disappointed in myself tired of this fucking timeline yourself
[1546.7s] uh you are frightened of this creature a frightened creature has disadvantage on ability
[1552.8s] checks and attack rolls while the source of its fear is within line of sight and you can't
[1556.7s] willingly move closer to the source of your uh you can make the save again at the end of your
[1562.3s] next turn way to make me useless yeah er right um okay it is yin bowl's turn okay i am going to
[1572.4s] cast sacred flame that's a deck save okay uh what level spell is that it's cantrip cantrip okay
[1580.6s] uh deck save uh 17 it is 17 uh active versus passive it loses we did this last time
[1591.7s] i know those are it's like oh no it's the worst possible outcome we just talked about this
[1596.7s] but it was a month ago i still don't understand it was a month ago it's all gone yeah so it
[1601.0s] just rolled its ac for that thing so you met it and beat it because you are attacking it okay
[1607.4s] so you you win great that's what i thought but i feel like i don't know how anything works
[1614.1s] anymore uh different world different world darkest timeline etc etc uh so that is 21
[1623.4s] 21 type of damage uh radiant damage this thing shrieks out and you see dimly because
[1632.5s] of how dark it is but you see like ripples through the air as it looks up and screams
[1637.8s] receiving this blinding pain where you strike it this pulls down from the sky and into this and
[1644.4s] it looks up into it and you see yeah absolutely through this flame you see like these ripples
[1649.6s] of sound or waves of something moving up through this flame displacing it as it's coming
[1655.1s] down upon uh this creature anything else you can or would like to do no just one attack for
[1662.2s] you're close to thea so it's within melee unless you move oh yeah movement yeah maybe i'll move away
[1670.5s] a little bit we were all kind of pretty close together that being said we're surrounded by um
[1676.1s] probably now darkness and a million more creatures so i'm gonna like move a bit but
[1681.9s] not that much because it's a scary world out there i guess you'd have a little more sight
[1687.1s] from the sacred flame too so it would illuminate the area while it's going
[1691.9s] you don't see any other creatures um immediately but as this flame goes and rings out and goes
[1697.8s] through the air you hear more movement amongst the trees like amongst the canopy but you don't
[1704.1s] see anything directly in that moment thea you are afraid so you have to use all movement to
[1709.8s] try and get away okay i want to use all my movement to try to get away it tries to attack
[1716.2s] you so it tries to attack you for 16 with one of its stabby pincers no good with your stabby
[1722.1s] pincer it just like you feel it like cut through like the cloth of uh of your pant leg
[1728.9s] as it drives through and down into the ground beside you so you are able to run away uh you
[1735.3s] do have disadvantage on any sort of attack rolls or ability checks well i don't plan on
[1740.5s] doing any of those things cool beans uh i'm gonna do or try to do no i'm gonna do it's
[1745.5s] all about intention yep as my daughter's witchcraft books tells me i'm going to cast
[1750.9s] fairy fire on it okay because i don't need to see it to do that it just has to be in range
[1756.1s] uh it is it is not a creature you can see no just a 20 foot cube within range
[1762.1s] okay yeah cool beans uh sorry what's the safe uh deck safe uh five no it's very fire it
[1769.8s] never raised me you guys just in case it was because you had that intention you did it it's
[1774.7s] because you intended yeah for those of you who don't speak amy yes that was fairy fire never
[1780.2s] works for me you guys that's what i said so now um this crab zombie crombie maybe is uh outlined
[1790.7s] in a violet light and sheds this dim light in a 10 foot radius so now we can see more too
[1797.8s] as well this thing's totally lit up yeah and any attack roll against an affected creature
[1803.2s] has advantage uh okay cool and it can't be invisible but i don't think that's
[1809.0s] its thing so just thought i'd say it just in case okay i did a thing you can save your
[1817.4s] uh you can use you just you can save to try and not be frightened i'd like to do that
[1823.0s] on oh no at disadvantage at disadvantage well
[1833.1s] we've got that that one chart now don't we it was a four guys i can't i can't roll higher
[1838.8s] get them all out right now that's right yeah it was there was no intention there so that's that
[1842.9s] was the problem oh it's true i wasted all my intention well i didn't waste it i just need to
[1846.9s] muster up some more you're still front so um tell gear you've got 20 attacks right you
[1852.2s] ran away um your back was to the to the forest um it's in front of you so i'm assuming you ran
[1858.1s] into the forest yeah okay you are now 30 feet into the forest i don't like it cool tell gear
[1863.8s] it's your turn uh well this thing's all lit up for me so i'm gonna i'm gonna walk on up
[1869.4s] and give the old slash attack please do uh that's a 19 to hit on the first one uh
[1878.2s] disability jigs attack yeah what's your level of exhaustion three oh sorry i forgot about the
[1885.8s] disadvantage i figure what was your exhaustion it was two or three okay so two so you don't have
[1894.5s] disadvantage on attack rolls but i have speed yeah was i able to reach it yeah so you like
[1901.2s] you were all kind of clustered i don't think you like spread out to sleep um so yeah you
[1906.3s] would be within range so you're yeah you can make perfect i will also add a second attack into the
[1911.8s] mix okay uh that is a 22 uh that will hit i have so many dice out for tonight's game
[1920.0s] because i just had a feeling that we all right uh five and nine is 14 four nine is 13 so that
[1929.6s] is 27 damage type uh slashing yes that brings it to 69 69 damage that's the sexiest kind of damage
[1949.3s] it's the middle and we're here to tell you what's coming up that's right we're your cheese whiz
[1955.9s] center what's coming up is really exciting carl we came back to the cheese whiz again i mean we've
[1961.6s] yeah yeah yeah i think we've done we've done cheese whiz like three weeks ago four weeks
[1965.6s] ago pretty recently pickles sure yeah uh i mean it could just be your thing amy's the cheese
[1973.0s] cheese i can't even eat cheese whiz anymore man well then why do you keep bringing it up
[1977.2s] is a fun nickname are you sure you don't want it anyway i think it's pretty good
[1981.4s] i'll think on it i'll get all my students to call it call me it and we'll just see if it
[1985.0s] sticks no see if it's see if it does see that one's gonna stick even if you don't like it though so
[1990.1s] careful giving that one to you i mean that's also something you could say about cheese whiz
[1994.1s] yeah it's true um but you know who is sticking around but we do like it be and tracy from the
[2004.3s] broadswords yeah they're joining us next week here with uh with moot and sully i was really
[2010.6s] curious how amy was going to bring it around and i think she like 90 percent did it i feel like
[2017.4s] you like really really made it work thanks uh but yeah those those two lovelies from the broadswords
[2024.3s] are going to be joining us and it was just a hoot oh it was a hoot and a half it was super fun
[2028.9s] sorry you missed it carla i know well i can't wait to listen it'll be my favorite episodes
[2033.2s] are the ones where i'm not there talking just you guys are so i'm gonna love it perfect
[2037.7s] stuck in that parking lot for some zumba you know sounds right yeah just kind of comes up
[2043.8s] sometimes but no we had so much fun um with b and tracy so listen for them yeah next week
[2050.4s] and then a couple weeks after that but now let's get you back to this episode where we
[2055.4s] are doing stuff still traveling on our way to luskin it's a dark dark forest oh yeah
[2061.8s] darkest timeline let's go back there let's let's head back to that little bit of ray of sunshine
[2067.2s] yeah now we're gonna send you back into the deep dark the creepy crawlies all right thanks
[2071.4s] everybody have a great week it's the creature's turn and it turns and like it emits this shriek
[2086.0s] which like chills you to the bone talgir like you you feel like your your the clothes you're
[2093.3s] wearing and the armor you're wearing begin to vibrate um as it screams down towards you
[2099.8s] uh con save please uh that is a 19 like you get this this like this Glimer of
[2108.5s] of complete fear but then steal yourself and it's in its face um and it's uh oh i should mention
[2117.0s] t rus i am immune from being afraid then you're not frightened okay perfect i mean you get i just
[2122.6s] didn't know what you wanted me to roll for uh yeah um it rolled however a natural 20 as it
[2129.2s] stabs down at you with one of these pincer pincer pincers and that's going to be 27
[2135.4s] sheepers which is a combination of 20 piercing and seven poison damage oh i'm resistant to poison
[2143.4s] damage so you take half of the poison damage so you take four for 24 so 24 okay four four
[2152.6s] it is Yenbul's turn okay well i'm just going to uh sacred flame it again okay uh so deck
[2160.1s] save uh four okay so he's going to take 15 radiant damage okay so this time the fire pours down
[2171.1s] and illuminates the clearing that you're in um thea you're in the trees you're you're
[2177.0s] you're not i have no idea what's happening back there so far away you hope you guys are okay uh
[2183.1s] you see like you see the light come out and ahead of you i'll tell you what you see and
[2187.8s] then i'll get Yenbul and talgir what you see you see ahead of you small creatures you can't
[2195.8s] quite describe them like they're not animals they as the light pours out like you see their
[2201.7s] eyes and then they turn back and scurry around the trees like they were coming
[2207.4s] towards you but then as the light comes they they like shy back um as you their eyes light
[2214.4s] up with this light um Yenbul and talgir you see a similar scene that plays out in the canopy
[2220.6s] there like you catch out of the corner of your eye these um creatures that look like they have
[2228.5s] long claws they have wings on their back um and you see their eyes light up like some
[2234.7s] white some yellow and um they like they shy back behind whatever tree they see as the sacred
[2241.8s] flame um pours down on top of this um it lets out another shriek and like you smell the burning
[2250.7s] flesh of this creature and it like begins to fall to the knees so to speak as it gets closer
[2260.9s] down to the ground to you does it smell like dead stuff or like crab no it smells like dead
[2265.5s] stuff like decayed material that's being burned gross yeah unfortunate i could have had some fun
[2272.3s] like exactly had a melted some butter we would have had a real good time best thing that's
[2276.6s] happened to us this whole trip in so long in a decade thea you are 30 feet away you just
[2282.5s] see all these creatures now in front of you which stops you you're away from the creature
[2287.0s] not looking at it so there's no need to move away from it at this point but you now have
[2292.3s] unknown number of creatures in front of you neat yeah okay uh well i'm just going to um
[2302.9s] i'm just gonna produce flame in my hands okay and uh ready my action just in case they come
[2312.0s] at me again but i'm kind of hoping that the light from my fire will keep them away
[2318.4s] even though it's not radiant just so hoping and i'm gonna roll to not be a scaredy cat
[2325.3s] okay at disadvantage well that's a one so i'm just gonna stop there cool i think that was
[2333.3s] just a saving throw so your produce flame goes up how what's the range on the the light that
[2338.9s] it gives off the light that it gives off is a 10 foot radius 10 foot okay your flames go up
[2345.5s] and in a 10 foot radius you see um as the sacred flame quickly dies down again you see um these
[2353.8s] creatures like peering out like their claws wrapping around trees some of them have like
[2359.4s] climbed up scaled up so they're up higher they're looking down like you see the Glimering
[2364.6s] off their light you can't quite get look on them it's not bright enough like the the light
[2369.3s] seems to like suck up the far you know it's not like it decays off but like it hits that 10
[2375.2s] foot mark and then just is like sorry and then there's a dim light another 10 feet no there's
[2380.2s] not but as you as you cast it and you're quickly looking around you hear like creaking
[2385.8s] noises all around you coming from the trees but they seem to be staying back none immediately
[2392.5s] are making moves for you neat thought your hand was up for a high five
[2401.1s] sometimes your significant other just puts their hand up for a high five never let me hang it
[2406.4s] yeah uh okay well i'm just i'm readying my action to blast some bitches with
[2411.3s] my fire in case i need it but apparently i'm still scaredy cat uh of the thing behind you
[2416.8s] yes tell gears back to you uh you said this crab is uh looking a little bit worse for wear
[2421.5s] it's fallen to its its proverbial knees uh in front of you so the the humanoid figure that
[2428.2s] these legs are attached to is like hovering above the ground like a foot above the ground
[2433.0s] like this thing was probably standing which i don't think i said but like five to eight
[2438.2s] feet taller than any of you um just by its legs but now it's not eye level but closer to
[2447.5s] but yeah it doesn't it's the smell of burning decayed flesh and damage is clearly putting
[2455.4s] pressure on this creature all right well uh yeah i mean i guess one of is it still under fairy
[2462.2s] fire fair fire still good yeah that's not a concentration thing i don't think so or maybe
[2467.9s] it is yeah it is concentration but it is the hasn't taken any damage so okay there's
[2472.5s] no reason that that should be dropped oh wait all right it's not a concentration
[2477.0s] oh you're right it's not all right so my attacks have advantage then correct yes okay
[2484.5s] uh first one's going to be a 26 that will hit
[2490.3s] second one 31 no yes of course that one is yeah no plus 13 hey high at one point
[2500.2s] yeah my current uh attack bonus with my battle axes plus 13 give me that slashing cool all right
[2507.2s] what's that like it's good i really like it another character still a tank
[2514.3s] a tank who does magic stuff it's a magic tank uh oh and max damage on both the dice rolls
[2520.0s] that's fun ah sweet uh so that's 34 damage okay give me give me something cool tell me
[2527.4s] how you kill this motherfucker that's disgusting as fuck i gave you a sweet disgusting description
[2532.0s] you tell me how you cut this fucker down okay um you know when a crab is undercooked
[2538.2s] and you open it up and there's like all that gross shit in there still yeah it's essentially
[2543.0s] like that like i swing in with the battle axe and kind of like not scalp it but essentially
[2549.3s] like carve the top half off of it and inside is all the disgusting crap gets yeah yeah so
[2558.4s] yeah you you carve into this humanoid figure and inside like it you can see it for a brief
[2565.4s] moment as like it's begins oozing out and down to the ground as this creature crumbles
[2573.5s] and falls in on itself its top half shrieks in the moment it's struck but quickly is silenced
[2580.2s] and you're standing there you see you see out of the corner of your eye thea's produced flame
[2586.6s] there's a brief moment of silence and then you hear movement in the canopy again around
[2593.0s] you what do you do we gotta go guys i continue i keep my produce flame and i start to walk
[2599.4s] backwards quickly i don't want to turn my backs on these things um so i'm doing like the whole like
[2607.8s] fire everywhere and i and i start walking back quickly to hopefully hop on a magic carpet
[2613.7s] that's like been warmed up a little bit yeah ready to go yeah we left it idling yeah let's
[2619.7s] just run that a little bit it's cold uh you walk back and you hear the movement like closing
[2624.9s] in the as you're walking it's like moving at the perimeter um of this produced flame and you get
[2632.6s] back and tolgir and yimble are on the carpet and they like back it up and like take out your
[2639.7s] legs underneath you to put you on it does it beep as we back up who do i light on fire as i
[2645.0s] flail backwards with my hands out it's magic you're fine oh good and you you land backwards
[2650.7s] and then the magic carpet lifts up into the air everybody make a dexterity saving throw i've been
[2656.7s] real good at these saving throws lately you guys so i'm probably gonna nail this one these ones
[2660.4s] are at just normal yep just rolled a three so that's a six cool guys i can't roll i haven't
[2666.6s] rolled more than i haven't rolled a double digit number yet i've rolled probably like
[2670.2s] what 11 i mean it's not great amy no uh that's a 12 for me oh jeez no nobody's super high
[2677.4s] we're so tired we're so tired these creatures jump out towards you as you lift up through
[2684.2s] the canopy and each one of you is struck by these simplicity sake they look like bats but
[2692.1s] they're not their wings like i said have like claws that extend out and um and like grab
[2700.5s] into your leg or arm or wherever they latch onto
[2705.4s] hairy hand mcbat hairy hand mcbats yeah um and they and they clamp onto your leg or arm or
[2713.0s] wherever they grab you and quickly move in to bite each of you are going to take nine
[2719.3s] piercing damage um and you each have one grappled onto you as you lift up into the
[2727.0s] air uh you're above the canopy now but each have a creature on you uh so we'll go tolgear
[2733.3s] was the last one to go so yimble you're up next i'm gonna blast it with sacred flame that's
[2739.0s] a 17 dex save but i mean it's right there yeah uh that's a three great uh so 16 radiant
[2749.0s] damage okay yeah just blast into it that's a single target thing i like the idea of
[2755.5s] like you're close enough that your sacred flame could target in this moment just those three
[2760.1s] things because they're not high hp um so yeah i think your sacred flame comes down and maybe
[2766.6s] they've conveniently each attacked us in the back in the cluster we've somehow like all
[2771.0s] turned exterior so we're all facing away the creatures are all in the middle and the sacred
[2775.3s] flame can get them all you feel the heat pour over them and they shriek as they release
[2780.6s] and fall back down towards the canopy and you zip off as quickly as you can
[2788.6s] uh i'm i'm really sorry about back there that was really embarrassing
[2795.6s] you could not help this yeah i don't think you had any control over it
[2799.1s] also that force so creepy i was in there just surrounded by all those
[2805.3s] hairy hand mcbat things and it's just oh they're so creepy and i've ripped my pants multiple times
[2813.0s] in just the past short while well i'm sure we'll be able to find a tailor in
[2817.4s] luskin but really that's the last of our concerns i swear if we go into luskin
[2824.6s] and there are shops and people legit going about their daily lives
[2830.5s] oh i mean it would be hard to leave a place like that it it certainly would
[2839.6s] the scene of this daydream carries on for an hour or two as you picture a perfect world luskin
[2846.2s] i think we spend a lot of our time doing that yeah like remembering like what streets looked
[2851.9s] like how things used to be you travel for another couple hours and you crest over this
[2857.8s] hill and you hear the crashing sounds of coast as you've kind of come closer to it and you see
[2865.5s] over this hill ahead of you a flashing light like it's it's there and then it's gone
[2872.2s] and then it's there and then it's gone like a lighthouse maybe
[2879.6s] do you do anything before you cross the hill or do you just keep going
[2882.7s] how is everyone doing you know health health wise how are you guys feeling it um i mean a
[2889.8s] little beat up but nothing i haven't handled before i'm all right okay i'm generally asking
[2894.4s] if anyone would need a healing spell at this moment um yeah i also have healing hands that
[2900.7s] i can use once per long rest which i haven't had so i guess we'd need to decide if i've
[2906.6s] already used that in the last three days that we have been hurt or i can use it now
[2912.1s] yeah i have a lay on hands pool too so and can can heal somebody a little bit so based on your
[2918.9s] exhaustion level it's been 24 hours since you've had a sleep so in theory you've
[2924.9s] likely managed to sleep like every other day so i mean your call i'll leave it up to you
[2931.0s] if you think you still have that ability um well i think i maybe have it once yep and then not
[2937.4s] again until until we we have it so how hurt are you guys i'm at 87 of 122 where are y'all at
[2946.6s] i'm there's no way you have only 122 hit points
[2952.5s] you're well i think your sheet fucked up last time and we never fixed oh that did happen
[2958.0s] because i'm at 165 and yeah i know 174 i'm at 117 of 165 unless someone's really hurting
[2966.0s] i didn't want to waste a spell slot i'm sure i have a potion
[2972.1s] yeah mine's um mine is a cantrip so it's not gonna burn a slot i've got potion of healing as
[2978.9s] well yeah and mine is literally just a pool of energy that i can draw from sounds like i
[2984.7s] should use it on me you should i'm gonna take a potion of greater healing russ i downed my pool
[2991.0s] it's it's 85 normally but since i haven't slept for fully for a couple days i've probably used
[2995.9s] bits and pieces of it here so i put 45 in there perfect you crest over this hill and you
[3001.2s] see this light off in the distance those who have been to luskin probably thea and talgir
[3006.6s] ymbol i said i think we said that you haven't been as far north as water deep so you
[3010.7s] definitely haven't been to luskin but you see the light coming from the tower of the arcane
[3018.6s] brotherhood like a lighthouse spinning at the very peak of it and you look as it passes you
[3027.6s] see movement throughout the dark streets of luskin and noise that hits you like a wall
[3036.7s] as you crest over this hill and it's the noise and sound of undead
[3043.8s] just emanating up and then amidst you catch
[3050.9s] just the faintest sound of a coherent sentence and someone screams out
[3058.7s] we need to get to the tower quick
[3068.6s] all music and sound effects in today's episode can be found at epidemic sound
[3072.6s] dot com or boom library dot com a huge thank you to our supporting producers
[3078.3s] gabriel lynch mark heartless stevie cat water flame jacob madden christian brown jessica
[3084.6s] darryl devin michaels erin stevens luke ikus and ray serbeck to find out more about how you
[3090.6s] can support Dumbgeons and Dragons visit us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast where you
[3095.6s] can have exclusive access to 50 plus hours of bonus audio content create in-game NPCs and
[3101.8s] items as well as play games with the cast Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast have a great
[3108.0s] week and we'll talk soon things aren't great in world let's just sing some more usher
[3114.2s] yeah amy we're looking at you i'm so thrown i don't know what to do but to keep on doing
[3121.8s] my confessions back to the same song i wasn't expecting i thought it was for sure it was
[3127.2s] gonna be a different one but i like it it was beautiful i'm trying to remember i'm like um
[3132.1s] i don't think like scream is a really creepy song that's the only one that comes to my
[3136.1s] head right now that's two more usher songs than i could name if you put me on the spot
[3140.4s] what's the one where he goes usher usher usher usher is that all of them i would assume it's
[3145.8s] all of them yeah okay a real jason terullo situation yeah i know all of his songs then
[3152.2s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production